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Jeff stabbed wildly at Slender's flailing tentacles. He had been insisting that vampires sparkle and Jeff, as someone with at who has at least a tiny bit of sense, could not agree. Slender's impossibly long legs gave him an advantage when running up the grand staircase of the Creepypasta mansion but Jeff's hotness stunned him just long enough for the other murderer to catch up.
The year was 3000 and the story of Twilight was no longer a book and movie series, it was now just an old legend that was told to children to warn them away from going near crazy-ass stalker fangirls. But Slendy still insisted that the ferocious blood sucking mythical creatures sparkled.
“But Slender,” argued Jeff, “if such magnificent, fabulous, murderous, noble creatures sparkle, then surely so must you!”
And then Ben pulled a rope hanging mysteriously from the roof, dropping glue and a mountain of glitter onto Slender. The tall man was surprised to find that he was no longer Slenderman, the glitter had turned him into a vampire!
'Cause that's how logic works, I swear.