Archive of Our Own

"S-sorry, Jaemin... I only see you as a good friend."

Jaemin's eyes rounded when he heard Hyunjin's words in front of him. It can't be possible, right? Jaemin felt he did not misinterpret his relationship with Hwang Hyunjin, who had been courting him for three months. They sat next to each other in history class and Hyunjin asked for his cellphone number. They go on dates almost every weekend and find a compatibility with each other. Although Jaemin is not narcissistic, he is sure he is not mistaken for Hyunjin's view of him, the touch of hands that are not too soft when they walk, until every detail of attention that Hyunjin gives.

But now that he is talking with Hyunjin at the side of the soccer field, pouring out his whole heart because he can no longer hold himself to hug Hyunjin more than friends, Hyunjin said he only looked at Jaemin as nothing more than friends?

"Its he, isn't it?" Jaemin could not help but asked. This is the first time he has expressed his feelings to someone.

"W-what do you mean? I don't understand. " Hyunjin scratched the back of his neck, his expression clearly screams guilty and he looked at the grass at Jaemin's feet.

"My brother... what did he say to you, Hyunjin?"

This time Hyunjin licked his dry lips. He should be smarter to follow the advice of his friends to stay away from Na Jaemin, whatever happens. The boy was nice, sweet sweet boy. But his brother is another else. Hyunjin will not forget Lee Jeno's sharp glance when he intercepted him in front of the soccer team's dressing room some time ago.
Hyunjin wasn't a coward, but seeing Jeno's eyes twitching as if judging him made him have no guts to continue whatever he was doing with Jaemin.

"No, Jaemin. Its not like what you think. Just... lets be friend, okay?"

Jaemin doesn't have much time to realize that this is very embarrassing. He has prepared this for two weeks. Hyunjin no longer asked him out on weekends and Jaemin felt it was time for them to acknowledge each other's feelings. But Jaemin was wrong. He bowed apologetically to hold back tears that seemed to sag in the corner of his eyes and turned away quickly without regard to Hyunjin's call or the view of the rest of the football team who were resting.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Jaemin's face heats up and he just wants to wrestle with his blanket in the room.

-

The two-story house at the side of the road looked warm from the outside. The Na family's residence is always so boisterous, especially with their children's friends who visit each day. Mr. Na does not mind children who drink beer or smoke on the balcony as long as they do not refuse Mrs. Na who always cooks massively every morning. Mrs. Na loved everything without exception, cutting fruit and massaging their fingers when they were unwell.

However, the warmth of the night did not reach Jaemin's face as he opened the door. He did not preach his arrival like usual, but quickly crossed the door to go up to the second floor without drawing the attention of his brother and his friends who sat in a circle in the family room.

Just when his feet stepped on the third step, Mark Lee's greeting could be heard. "Jaemin! You're home? I didn't hear you! Come here, lets eat watermelon!"

Jaemin did not look, but slowed down. "No."

"Hey!" Mark called back until someone sitting on the couch cut him off.

"Stop it, Mark. He's brokenhearted."

"Again?" Park Jisung who was hugging a large bottle of cola replied without looking away from the television.

"Who is it now?" Zhong Chenle came out of the bathroom, joined his friends without looking at Jaemin.

"Renjun told me about that Hwang boy. Yeji’s brother," Jisung replied, letting Chenle put his head on his thigh, watching television.

"Oh, he's handsome and pretty popular."

Jeno snorted while still sitting on the sofa. His eyes were still fixed on the television screen, but his expression seemed to say "yeah right I'm gonna let that boy near my Nana". Jaemin pursed his lips, then threw his bag at Jeno. Mark exclaimed, because the distance between the two was wide enough that Jaemin must have thrown his bag seriously. But Jeno only dismissed the bag until it fell and hit Chenle's buttocks.

Mr. Na who sat cross-legged beside Jeno stared at her son flatly before turning back to the television. "Of course he got his heart broken. Look at him, always bickering with his brother. No normal guy would date him."

Jaemin looked at his father angrily, and Mrs. Na who lay on the carpet just patted Mr. Na lazily. "What are you talking about? Our son is beautiful. He's young, of course he is an active boy. You know our neighbor, Mrs. Choi, adores him even she’s kind of difficult to impress. But our Jaeminnie didn't have to try."

"She sure did. She just crazy as him."

"Dad!" Jaemin exclaimed. "That's right. Keep saying that and I'm moving with Mrs. Choi!"

"Poor Mrs. Choi," Jeno sighed. Yep, just another day in Na’s household.

"You can have Jeno instead." Jaemin looked at Jeno fiercely.

"Jeno-hyung!" this time Mr. Na and Mrs. Na corrects him together.

Jeno smiled triumphantly.

"I will call him 'hyung' if he acts like one," Jaemin growled. This time everyone in the living room looked at him. Mark's hand which was about to reach for the last watermelon slice froze in the air.

"What do you mean? I'm your hyung, Nana. I even protected you from those boys–” Jeno looked up when he realized something. His eyes narrowed, "don't tell me you fell for that boy."

"Oh! Nana is in love?" Chenle grinned.

"Aw, too bad it didn't look good," Jisung chimed in, pretending to frown.

"Is he your first love, Nana?" Mark asked, smiling, making Mr. Na and Mrs. Na also looked at him curiously, without caring about the displeased look on Jeno's face.

"First love my ass. Tell you what, those dumb boys didn't deserve you. And you looked dumb too when you believed what they said. I'll roundhouse kick that jerk if he makes another moves on you." Jeno held up his index finger, full of threat.

"You ruined everything! I HATE YOU!" Jaemin stomped, tears welled up and he ran to the room with everyone's surprised look.

A door slammed and Mr. Na stroking the chest.

"I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!" Jaemin shouted as he buried his face in the pillow. A second later, he let himself cry. Why? His heart was screaming, did not know where to look for answers. Hyunjin is the only person he likes. Someone he hopes to be his first love. Jaemin had never met a man who understood him, so kind and caring like Hwang Hyunjin.

But of course her brother had to break it all. Stupid Lee Jeno can't get off his hands from my business! Jaemin feels unfair. His brother never let him breathe freedom. Jeno will call a dozen times when he is on a date, and even come to his date if Jaemin ignores his messages and calls. He drove Jaemin every day and picked Jaemin whenever he could.

Considering his brother had already stepped on his second year on college, Jaemin began to be relieved because Jeno seemed busy with various matters such as tons of organizations and basketball practices. He was grateful when Jeno even had difficulty bombarding him with phone calls, until Mark Lee appeared and became an extension of Jeno every time Jeno was absent. Even when Jaemin managed to avoid Mark Lee, there were Park Jisung and Zhong Chenle who grinned by saying that they had just been sent by Jeno to check on him. Jisung and Chenle are juniors in their school.

With the obstacles in all directions, especially when Jaemin's parents seemed fine with that, Jaemin could barely breathe during high school. Now he is a senior and doesn't even have memories of dating at lunch or being taken home by his boyfriend. Hyunjin was the only person he imagined could fill his last days in high school like he always wanted stupid, stupid Lee Jeno had to destroy it.

Various images of him passing through graduation only with his family and friends made Jaemin sigh deeply. He wiped his tears when he realized it wasn't entirely bad, but he regretted not being able to fulfill his dream. I never even had a kiss. Jaemin fell asleep.

-

"Nana?"

Jaemin woke up with a gentle call on the door. He is a heavy-sleeper, but sleeping while still wearing jeans, T-shirts, coats, and dry crying on his face makes it easy to open his eyes and look at the door that is slightly open. He saw Jeno's head there.

"Go away," Jaemin pulled the blanket over his face, his back to the door.

There was a sigh of breath and the door opened wider. Jeno entered and closed the door behind him, then approached the bed.

"I said go away," Jaemin murmured even though he knew his brother would not obey whatever he said.

"Are you okay?" Jeno asked. In contrast to his voice that was usually assertive or full of ridicule, Jeno sounded really attentive. "You haven't eaten your dinner. Mum prepared your favorites."

"Not hungry."

"Come on, Nana. Look at me, please?" Jeno grabbed Jaemin's arm, but Jaemin didn't move. Jeno pulled it a little harder and Jaemin complied. He lay down and lowered his blanket down to the neck. Jeno looked closely at him, but Jaemin only stared at the ceiling of his room.

"You cried," Jeno whispered while touching Jaemin's face.

"Of course. He rejected me. You are right. I'm brokenhearted," Jaemin snorted. Although acknowledging that his brother was right was the thing he disliked the most, he wanted to let Jeno know the impact of his protective attitude.

Jeno sighed. "I just told him to be careful with you because I will come after him if he hurts you. So I'll see him soon, I guess."

Jaemin looked at his brother in a panic. "No, Jeno. Hyung. No, don't."

But Jeno did not answer. He sat next to Jaemin, his hand stroking Jaemin's cheeks. Jaemin seemed really broken hearted and Jeno could feel his heart crumble too.

"What did you tell him, actually? You never let me know what did you tell those boys."

"You don't need to know." Jeno smiled. "Are you mad at me? I mean ‘still’ mad at me?"

Jaemin shook his head weakly, this time falling to his brother's touch and closing his eyes. "I never mad at you, hyung. You are my favorite, remember?"

Jeno soft laughter could be heard. "But you said you hate me."

"'M sorry. Pissed, not mad. I imagined my graduation would be filled with mum and dad, you, Hyuck, Injun, Mark-hyung, Jisung, and Chenle and I thought its not that bad."

"I'm glad." Jeno nodded in agreement. His graduation was not much different.

"I just feel left out, sometimes. Hyuck and Renjun had their first love and first kiss in high school. I don't. You blew my every chance,” Jaemin opened his eyes in his last sentence, staring at Jeno with an accusing look.

"Is that so?"

Jaemin nodded strongly. "When you and Mark were in high school, you had that pretty noona. Mark-hyung already has Hyuck that time. I look at you guys and I always wonder how its feels like. Is it different from your hugs and kisses, hyung?"

Jeno stopped his hand on Jaemin's cheek, scratching his chin for a moment before shaking his head. "I didn't think so, Nana. We loves each other. Hugs and kisses feels nice with the people we loves."

Silence covered them for a moment. Jeno looked at Jaemin's bulletin board which was filled with scribbles about Jaemin's plans for the next month, as well as the photos he took. Jaemin likes to take photos and Jeno is happy to see his brother so happy when taking photos. While Jaemin looked at his brother fixedly.

Jaemin always saw Jeno as a good person, although not always gentle. They beat each other more often or threw things than talk like now, but Jeno was the same person who allowed him to taste beer and promised to take care of him if he was drunk. Jeno is the same person who helped him do his homework or defend him when he was scolded by their parents. Jeno will pick him up anywhere, drive him home, and buy him food. Jeno, who is handsome, made Jaemin's friends buzzing on the first day of school because Jeno took him to class, found a seat for him, and made sure he would pick him up during lunchtime. All of his friends are crazy about Jeno.

But never for a second, Jeno ignored Jaemin or acknowledged that he was popular. Jeno takes care of him more than anything, giving almost everything he wants, and Jaemin understands a little why Jeno is so protective.

"I guess I didn't miss anything, then," Jaemin made a quiet voice, awakening Jeno from his reverie. "Your hugs and kisses are enough."

Jeno was stunned before smiling broadly. The smile that made his eyes turn into a crescent moon and the black dot under his left eye was more promising. He turned cheerful, lay down next to Jaemin and hugged Jaemin's waist.

"My baby. Here. Hyung will give you a lot of hugs and kisses!"

Jaemin laughed to hear that cute voice.

-

The same breakfast at the Na family's residence. On weekends, Mrs. Na doesn't cook as much as usual because the children usually have their own plans for lunch and dinner. Jaemin came down from his room, still wearing his pink pajama. No matter how much he wished to wake up in the afternoon, his mother would drag him out of bed for breakfast.

"Morning, Nana!" Chenle rubbed Jaemin's hair, sitting with his eyes half closed as he passed.

Jisung trailed behind him. "You're okay now?"

"You're here?" Jaemin tried to look at Jisung even though his eyes still felt heavy.

It was normal for him to wake up and see his friends at his dining table. They consider Jaemin's house like their own home, come whenever they want, sleep in the family room or guest room, eat Mrs. Na's cooks, to participate in cleaning.

"Of course he is okay. He is with his hyung,” Jeno who sat next to Jaemin patted Jaemin thigh.

"Lets eat," Mrs. Na put a mountain of japchae in the middle of the table. In an instant, the sound of cutlery collided with plates and mouths.

Jeno takes the fried fish, separates the thorn from the meat, then puts the meat in Jaemin's bowl. "Mark, are you going?"

"I don't know yet. Are you?"

"Another blind date?" asked Mrs. Na.

"No, Mum. It's just another meeting in a bar," Jeno cringed at the end of his sentence.

"Meeting in the bar? Do you expect me to believe that? Aigoo, this kid. I will kill you if you go home with a girl like last time!" Mr. Na gushes from the end of the table.

"I promise, dad! They want to have a drink after our meeting and it's always a rush when we need to go to another place. That's why we ended up meeting in one private room in a bar." Jeno explained.

"You stupid! What kind of meeting is that? Is it that sunbae who hit on me before? I'm sure he's preparing a striptease dancer for both of your stupid asses!" Jaemin said loudly, even though his mouth was still full of rice, making some rice jump out.

Jisung groaned in disgust at the sight.

Mark and Jeno could not answer other than being silent eating their food.

"They’re dumb right, dad?" Jaemin said to his father. Mr. Na nodded in agreement.

"I'm not sure you gonna pass Donghyuck," Chenle jabbed from his chair, glancing at Mark who refused to look at him.

"Its good to be nice, kids. But you need to be careful, alright? I'm afraid people will take advantages of your kindness," Mrs. Na poured water for Mark and Jeno. Both of them are well-known, even reaching the stage where Jaemin was exasperated. Especially if you see how good Jeno except in front of his potential boyfriend.

"Muuuum! Daaad! Your beautiful son is here!" the front door opened, followed by the sound of steps entering the house.

"Good morning everybody!" a tan-skinned boy with orange hair appeared, smiled cheerfully and kissed Mrs. Na cheek.

"Sit and eat your breakfast before I go deaf!" Mr. Na shouted, point to an empty chair. Donghyuck's arrival always gives him a headache because his house will be more noisy. Renjun followed behind him, bending 90 degrees as usual before pinching Jaemin's cheek.

"Omo omo. I get it why you want to go, Mark." Mr. Na sees Donghyuck trying to kiss Mark's cheek.

"Go where?" Donghyuck asked as soon as he got rid of Jisung and sat next to Mark. Mrs. Na got up and fetched rice for Renjun and Donghyuck.

"No, babe–"

"Markie and Jen are thinking if they should go to their meeting, Hyuck. On a bar near the new mall!" Jaemin eagerly updated his friend. Mrs. Na again reminds Jaemin to call Jeno 'hyung'.

"What?!" Donghyuck exclaimed in disbelief. Mark's face was already broken and he seemed to want to kiss his plate. "Don't you dare Mark Lee or I will castrate you." Donghyuck thanks Mrs. Na who handed him a plate of rice.

"How about I'll castrate the both of you?" said Mr. Na.

"Dad!" Donghyuck sulked.

"Eat your food!"

"Yes..." Donghyuck complied.

"Are you okay if Jeno is going?" Renjun asked Jaemin while taking japchae.

"No, no. Jeno-hyung is not going. Right, Dad?" Jaemin hugged his father. Jeno moaned softly.

"You said it was his sunbae that wanted to kiss you on your first date?" asked Mr. Na in a flat voice. Jaemin nodded at his father's chest.

"He kept trying to hold my hand! I had to call Jeno-hyung to rescue me. He was the one who introduced hyung to that noona-you know, the girl that smokes and asked hyung to take her to his home-," Jaemin complained.

Jeno was about to open his mouth, but Mr.'s sharp eyes Na silence it. "Jeno, I'll call your dads right after I finish my food..."

"Dad..." Jeno whined. Jaemin giggled to see it. It's very rare to see Lee Jeno being childish. He stuck out his tongue at Jeno when Jeno looked at him annoyed.

"So we are all free tonight! Lets watch some movies. Mum could use us her superb snacks and we'll have beers–”

"Yah! Why should my wife cook for a bunch of dumbasses like you?!" Mr. Na pointed to all the children sitting around the table. "Besides, we have a plan. Right, darling?" Mr. Na smiled at Mrs. Na, giggling.

"Where are you going?" Jaemin frowned.

"Romantic dinner," Mrs. Na answered happily. “In five-stars hotel!”

"I want to come!" Jaemin protested and frowning. Jeno couldn't help but smiling to see that.

"Mum! I’m the maknae! Of course you want to bring me, right?" Jisung interrupted.

"You guys are wrong. I'm her favorite," Renjun doesn't want to lose.

"Enough!" exclaimed Mr. Na, staring at the thugs in front of him. "Only two of us. You guys just stuff your lousy mouth with chicken, I'll leave the money to buy beers too."

"Not fair!"

"Mum!"

"I don't want chicken!"

"This is bullshit," Mr. Na prepares to throw japchae towards the children, making them flinch and slightly dodge in their seats. "Be nice kids and stay at home. Jeno, Mark, if I heard that you went outside and meeting that sunbae of yours, I will drive to that bar and kick your asses then send you home. I swear I'll do that."

-

The seven children accompanied Mr. and Mrs. Na went until the door. Both of them had left money for Jaemin to buy them dinner and beer, and said that they might be late. When Jaemin reminded him that he didn't want to have a younger brother, Mr. and Mrs. Na just giggling at each other. The two of them left after making sure to leave the children in Jeno and Mark's hands.

Jisung and Chenle immediately lay down on the couch, playing games on their cellphones. Renjun on the floor, choose a film. Donghyuck joined him.

"Just be careful, okay?" Mark suddenly patted Jeno on the shoulder before approaching Donghyuck and Renjun.

"What does that mean?" Jaemin looked at Jeno.

Jeno scratched his neck which wasn't itchy. "I'm gonna go for awhile. Just a little bit. Very quick and then straight to home."

"You're going?" Jaemin's eyes turn to disbelief. "You heard what dad said. You can't go."

Jeno sighed, looked at Jaemin to beg for understanding. "I know, but this sunbae insist me to go. We will work on the same project and if I don't show up, he'll make sure I live in hell."

"Mark don't go."

"Yeah, I said I will cover for two of us."

"I can't believe this." Jaemin shook his head. His brother was still too good, making him want to hit Jeno on the head to make him think clearly. "I'm gonna call dad..."

"No, Nana. You can't. Don't." Jeno held Jaemin's arm, which was ready to grab his cellphone.

"You're going! Of course I need to call dad!"

"They’re on a very special moment. Don't disturb them, please?"

"Don't go, then."

Jeno raised his hand, looking tired. "Look, I don't want it, either. But–"

"So, don't go."

Jeno, you can do this, Jeno is looking for a way out. A moment later he nodded and smiled faintly towards Jaemin. "Okay, I won't go. Happy now?" He can go later when Jaemin is asleep, remembering that Jaemin is easily drowsy after drinking beer. His feelings were heavy from lying to Jaemin, but Jaemin's next bright smile immediately made his bad feelings disappear.

"Yeay!" Jaemin cheered, reaching for his cellphone. "Hyung, what should we order for dinner?" he clung to Jeno's arm, staring at Jeno with his big, clear, bright eyes.

"Anything you want."

-

Jaemin doesn't know how long he slept.

They ordered chicken and pizza for dinner, then watched a horror movie while drinking beer. As usual, the atmosphere flowed casually. Jeno and Renjun warn them not to spill anything on the carpet and to clean up the leftovers on the floor, Mark is so focused on the television screen with Donghyuck on his shoulder, while Jisung and Chenle argue in a not-so-quiet voice about the action taken by the main character. Jaemin felt he was very sleepy when he finished his fifth can, so he lay down on the floor. Before his eyes were perfectly closed, he was only able to catch a glimpse of Jeno's face in front of him.

Now Jaemin woke up in his room because of thirst. He rose slowly and walked out of the room. He heard a noise from an open room in front of his room, and he saw Chenle and Jisung lying in bed, talking about aliens.

"Lele? Ji? " Jaemin greeted at the door. Both turned and Jaemin knew they were drunk. "Good night."

"Good night, Nana."

"Good night, Jaemin-hyung."

Jaemin closed the door, then went down to the first floor. He saw Mark sitting on the sofa while Donghyuck laid his head on his thigh. The two of them talked in low voices. Mark looked at Donghyuck while his hand stroked Donghyuck's cheek and Donghyuck played with his ear.

"Where is Renjun? And Jeno?" Jaemin asked. He was used to seeing Mark and Donghyuck so he didn't need to feel guilty bothering them.

"Renjun is sleeping in your old room," Mark teased toward another room on the first floor facing his parents' room.

Jaemin stepped into the kitchen and drank a glass of water. Not as usual, the kitchen looks neat. "And Jeno-hyung? Is he in his room?" Jaemin asked when he returned to the living room.

Before Mark could answer, drunk Donghyuck answered. "He's going, Nana! And he told us not to tell you! I said, "is it a secret, Jen?", But he didn't answer me and stormed out just like that. Very very rude, right, Markie?"

Jaemin's sleepiness immediately lost hearing it. He left, Jaemin repeated in his mind. He said he wouldn't leave.

"Nana, listen to me–" Mark called, trying to explain. But Jaemin said nothing, and went straight ahead, wearing shoes recklessly before galloping out of the house. He ran as fast as he could to the bar where Jeno's meeting was held.

Stupid asshole, Jaemin cursed, keeping his pace fast because he was afraid he was late. Jaemin remembered a few weeks ago when Jeno came home from a party with a girl in his arms. Both of them looked really drunk, making Mrs. Na and Mr. Na could not refuse or scold them. The girl slept in Jaemin's old room while Jaemin helped Jeno sleep in his room.

The next day, Jeno apologizes to Mrs. Na and Mr. Na for brought chaos in their house because the girl was very drunk and Jeno did not know his home address. Jaemin scolded him, told him to check the girl's student card, but Jeno felt guilty for unpacking someone else's bag.

At noon, the girl who then lent Jaemin's clothes was then taken home by Jeno. Jaemin was angry for days at his brother, until Mr. Na locked the two of them in Jaemin's room and refused to open the door until the two of them talked to each other.

Jaemin didn't want his brother to get into trouble, let alone bring someone else home. He did not want Jeno to get drunk until he was used by people around him. He knew his father would be angry when he found out that Jeno was really attending the meeting. Jaemin has to take him home. He tried to run faster.

Arriving at the highway, Jaemin realized he did not bring anything. His wallet and cellphone were at home, so he resolved and ran with all his might to the bar that Jeno visited. The tears would have spilled and his lungs had burst after a few moments of running, but he wasn't even halfway there. He promised to hit Jeno on the head if his brother was aware of his hangover.

After what seemed like forever, Jaemin almost fainted when he arrived in front of the bar. His lips must have gone pale now and his legs hurt but he didn't care. He staggered towards the entrance until he intercepted by the security guard. The security watched Jaemin, who appeared not to be ready to go to the bar (black sweatpants and white hoodies), then asked for his ID.

Jaemin who can not show anything is only able to explain in a hurry. "You don't understand... my brother is inside. In a private room. He attended meetings with his seniors... he could get involved in problems... I had to see him."

But the security did not budge, did not allow him to enter. They argued and Jaemin would have shouted when someone familiar came out.

"Na Jaemin?"

He turned his head, found sunbae who went on a date with him and who was holding a meeting now.

"What are you doing here?" he approached Jaemin, looked at him and the security took turns before grabbing Jaemin's arm and kept him out of the reach of the officers.

"I'm-I'm looking for J-Jeno. Is he okay? Is he drunk? Where is he? I have to see him."

The sunbae was silent while watching Jaemin. He slowly smiled and nodded. "Are you alone? Why didn't you call Jeno?"

"I-I didn't bring my phone. I ran here because I'm afraid something will happen to him. Is he-is he okay?"

"Sure. But I'm afraid I can't let you go in there."

"O-okay. Can you ask him to come out, please?"

The sunbae's smile widened, but he shook his head. "He is not in there. He is with my friend now. You know, the girl that I introduced to him in the last party–”

Jaemin's hand clenched, not expecting his brother to do such a thing.

"I can take you to him if you want."

"Please."

"Good, lets go." The sunbae put his hand on Jaemin's waist, knowing that Jaemin looked very tired and in a chaotic condition. He could smell beer from Jaemin's mouth and knew the boy could not think well at this moment. Jaemin did not even refuse his touch, making him realize he was in a favorable position. He knew that such a brilliant opportunity would not come twice.

-

"What do you mean, Mark?"

Mark sighed, frustrated. The children have been sprawled because they are drunk, so nothing can be expected. He ran after Jaemin, but the younger ran so fast, so Mark called Jeno.

"He's running to the bar right now! Fuck, he is so fast. He didn't bring his wallet nor his phone. Oh my God, Jeno," Mark repeated worriedly.

Jeno blood was frozen in the head. He knew Jaemin must have thought he had gone to the bar to meet his sunbae and then go after him. Jeno turns off Mark's call and call the cab to get to the bar.

Arriving there, Jeno did not see any sign of Jaemin's whereabouts, so he asked the security and tell him about Jaemin's characteristics. He guessed that Jaemin couldn't be inside because he didn't have an ID.

"Oh, you are his hyung? He came and asked us to let him so he can find his hyung. He said that you're meeting with your senior here. But we can't let him in. After that, a man came out and took him."

"A man? Took him?" Jeno's heart was beating fast.

The security officer nodded.

"Where did they go?"

"That way, and then turn left."

Jeno immediately ran in the intended direction. His hands trembled and his mind was filled with bad images of what had happened to Jaemin. Panic ran through Jeno and he felt he could explode at any time. Jeno sped up and ran away when he heard the screams he memorized from a small alley not far from him.

"NO! Let go! STOP!"

That's Jaemin's voice. Jeno turned and saw Jaemin being pushed against the wall while a man choked him, trying to kiss Jaemin's neck while Jaemin's hand was pressed to the side. Jeno could not think but come closer, reach for the man and throw him aside, then beat his face.

Jaemin gasped at Jeno, but he froze in place as Jeno beat his senior.

"You fucking asshole!"

It didn't take much time until the sunbae was lying unconscious, with a battered face and blood on several parts of his face. Jeno stopped the blow when he could feel his fist again, then turned and approached Jaemin.

"Nana, are you okay? Nana?"

Jaemin immediately burst into Jeno's arms and cried. "J-Jen! I'm so afraid! He told me that he would take me to you! I was looking for you, Jen!"

"Baby, I'm here. I'm so worried, Nana. Damn it." Jeno hugged Jaemin tightly to calm down. He heard a noise behind him and prepared to approach his seniors as the man got limped. But Jaemin's hand tightly hugged his waist.

"No, hyung. I need you here. Don't go. I can't-"

Jeno was forced to let the man run away and returned to hug Jaemin. He whispered as smooth words as possible to calm Jaemin before slowly moving and taking Jaemin away. They take a cab and go home. Jaemin was still crying on the back of Jeno and Jeno still wrapped his hands on Jaemin's back possessively.

-

"...Mum and Dad are just called to make sure we are okay. They're visiting their friends so they're probably not gonna come home tonight..."

The door creaked open, followed by Jeno and Jaemin who entered simultaneously.

"Did you find him?" Mark immediately rushed to the door and massaged his chest in relief at Jaemin. Donghyuck, Renjun, Jisung and Chenle trailed behind him. But once he realized Jaemin was still crying and Jeno even had to help him take off his shoes, he wasn't so relieved anymore.

"What-what is wrong? Nana?!"

"Na Jaemin! Are you crying?" Donghyuck immediately approached Jaemin, but Jaemin did not move his head from the Jeno's neck.

"Lets take him to his room first..." Jeno interrupted before the others bombarded them with questions. He lifted Jaemin's body, carried him up the stairs and lay him on his bed. Jaemin still didn't let go of his arms, making Jeno sit next to him and let Jaemin hide his head on Jeno's waist.

Some time later, there was a knock at the door and Mark entered. He handed Jeno a glass of water which he received gratefully.

"Nana, baby. Lets have some drink, okay?" said Jeno while trying to get rid of Jaemin's hair from his face. Jaemin raised his face and Jeno brought the glass to Jaemin's lips. Jaemin only took half before returning to his starting position. Mark covered Jaemin's body as well as Jeno's feet with blanket.

"Nana, do you want me to call Hyuck or Injun?"

Jaemin shook his head at Jeno. "‘M dizzy. Tired, hyung."

"Okay, Nana. Get some rest. " Mark patted his shoulder gently. Then he left.

"So?" Donghyuck and the others were waiting in the dining room.

"He doesn't want to see any of us. But I never saw Jeno like that. He looks so angry."

"Angrier than the time Jaemin's date suggested him to turn off his phone so Jeno couldn't reach him?" Chenle asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, that's rare."

-

"Hyung," Jaemin called.

"Hm?" Jeno stroked Jaemin's arm which was now wrapped around his chest. He was lying next to Jaemin while Jaemin hugged his body, thrusting his head to the nape of Jeno as usual, his legs crossed over Jeno's waist.

"You didn't go there?" Jaemin asked without daring to look at Jeno. He looked at the sky outside the window, hoping to maintain calm between them.

"No, I didn't go there, Nana. I promised you, remember? Why did you go there?"

Jaemin feels guilty for not trusting his brother and thinks Jeno is lying. "I'm sorry, hyung. I-I thought you lied to me. I'm afraid you're gonna go home drunk and dad would be furious."

"Just because of that?"

Jaemin swallowed. "No. I'm worried. I don't want you to bring another girl home. Or sleep on another people house. I hate it, hyung. It makes me sick to even think about that."

"Don't."

Jaemin nodded. Jeno's hand slowly stroked his cheek with the back of a finger. "Is it hurt?" asked Jeno.

Even though Jeno didn't ask clearly, Jaemin knew what his brother meant. He let go of his arms for a moment and tried to feel his back. Jeno took his hand, returned it to his chest while his other hand was stroking Jaemin's back.

"No, actually I don't remember, hyung."

"Promise me you take a rest tomorrow?"

"Then where did you go, hyung?" Jaemin demanded. He slightly raised his head to look at Jeno. Jeno lowered his eyes to look into Jaemin's eyes before returning to the window.

"Hyunjin’s house."

Two seconds later Jaemin took a quick breath. "Hyung!" he immediately fell on his stomach, leaning on his elbow to stare at Jeno in disbelief. "You didn't!"

"Yeah I did," Jeno looked back into Jaemin's eyes. "I warned him before but he still hurts you." He took a deep breath, holding Jaemin's cheek. "I never tell him to reject you, Nana. And you shouldn't have confessed either."

"What can I do? You make me hopeless because you always scare my dates. They’re ghosting me after they met you. I think I should take matter in my own hands."

"That means they're not serious about you. They’re coward."

Jaemin wanted to say that Jeno did indeed seem intimidating. Donghyuck and Renjun can prove it because both of them even have to go through 'Lee Jeno screening' before qualifying to be Jaemin's best friend. The main requirement is not wanting a romantic relationship with Jaemin and being willing to help Jeno take care of Jaemin. After that, Donghyuck and Renjun did not hesitate to call Jeno as "Jaemin’s dumb hyung".

But Jeno's words aren't completely wrong. Whoever will be Jaemin's lover will often face him. Jeno admitted that sometimes he would be far more assertive and frightening in front of the Jaemin's boyfriend-to-be, especially if there was only a speck in Jaemin's story that said he was treated unfavorably or uncomfortable. But he has the responsibility of ensuring the best for Jaemin. His precious Nana. Unless...

"Nana ... do you still want to marry me?" Jeno ventured to ask, discussing wishes that Jaemin had innocently expressed when they were little. Jeno won't forget Jaemin's request when they attended his fathers wedding.

Jaemin, who was 5 years old, brought a small flower basket and spread it along the road to the altar, making everyone murmured in admiration at his mesmerizing smile and small steps. There were flower arrangements along the way and Jaemin spread happiness in the white suit that his mother had struggled to pair with.

Jeno stood next to his father, holding a ring box. His eyes could not be separated from Jaemin who seemed intent on doing his job, making sure everyone got their best photos, and at the same time was so happy to see the altar decoration.

"Soooo pretty!" Jaemin shrieked in a high voice when stopped right in front of the other groom, Jeno's father. Everyone around them muttered exasperatedly.

"Thank you, Nana." Mr. Lee smiled at him.

Mrs. Na leads Jaemin to sit on his lap, but Jaemin escapes from his mother's hand and stands next to Jeno. No one could bear to separate them when Jeno stared at Jaemin in awe and Jaemin looked at Jeno's parents who were facing in front of the priest with perfectly rounded eyes.

A few moments later, the two kissed and the whole hall exploded by cheers and applause. Jaemin's chest was filled with blossoming happiness, he looked at Jeno.

"Jen, marry with me?"

Jeno could not forget the smile and the look in Jaemin's eyes at that time. Jaemin was so beautiful, with confetti flying around them and Jeno seemed to be sucked into his charm.

"Mummy, mummy!" when Mrs. Na held Jaemin, Jaemin tugged her sleeve.

"What is it, darling?"

"I want to marry Jen."

Mr. and Mrs. Na, as well as Mr. and Mr. Lee who heard him widened his eyes in surprise, but then the laughter split between them.

"Really, darling?"

Jaemin nodded excitedly. His hands were flailing in the air. "This is soooo pretty. I want to be like uncles!" Jaemin smiled towards Jeno's fathers.

"Ooh... this is wedding fever!" again everyone laughed at Jaemin's cuteness.

"Sure, Nana." Mrs. Na smiled.

"How about you, Jen? You want to marry Nana too?" asked Jeno's father.

Jeno didn't know what his father meant at that time. He is still seven years old. But seeing his two fathers now look so happy with many people dressed neatly and congratulate them (and lots of gifts), Jeno only knows happiness and he wants Jaemin to be happy.

He nodded strongly. "Hng! Jen will marry Nana when we're big like Dada and Papa."

Jaemin jumped up and down in his mother's arms, making Mrs. Na put him down. He quickly hugged Jeno with a big smile. "Soooo happy!"

Jeno laughed too, hugging Jaemin who was shorter than him. His father called the photographer to take pictures of Jaemin and Jeno who were hugging.

"Its settled, then. Jeno, you can call us Mummy and Daddy." Mrs. Na slightly crouched, stroking Jeno's hair. Mr. Na next to him laughed. "Is it not too soon, honey?"

"What are you talking about? They’re like sibling already. If they won't marry each other, I'm still happy to have another child!"

Mr. Na nodded in agreement hearing it.

Jeno's two fathers also approached and stroked Jaemin's hair. "And you can call us Dada and Papa too, Nana."

"That's good!" Jaemin exclaimed happily. "Dada, Papa, Nana." He pointed to the two adult men in front of him, then himself.

"Not fair! I want in too!" replied Jeno.

"You're already in, Jen! Nana is Jen. Jen is Nana."

Until now, Jeno still keeps a photo of him and Jaemin at that time in the frame in his room. Jaemin too. He printed the photo in a larger size and hung it next to the window, where Jeno had been focused since earlier.

"You are made sure I have never experienced any relationship. Of course you have no competition, hyung."

"Lets marry, then."

"Okay."

"That's it? Just it?" Jeno looked at Jaemin carefully. "Nana, what I meant is... lets be together. Lets be boyfriends. Lets date. I want to be your true love."

"That's a bit greedy, isn't it? Lee Jeno, you already are my true love. You want to be my first love too?" Jaemin pouted and Jeno couldn't help but pinch Jaemin's cheek.

"You are so cute, you know that right? Of course you know that. You used it against me sooo many times, but I can't help it because you're such a baby. My beautiful, precious baby."

Jaemin laughed cheerfully at that. He hid his face in Jeno's chest for a moment before leaning his chin there and looked back at Jeno.

"Okay." He answered while nodding with the smile that Jeno liked the most. "I'm glad I have you, Jen-hyung. I'm so happy."

"I love you, Nana." Jeno stroked Jaemin's nose with his finger. Jaemin smiled and Jeno pushed him, making Jaemin lie down while he was on Jaemin resting on his elbow. He could look at Jaemin's face more freely.

"And Nana is Jen."

Jeno leaned closer, kissing Jaemin's forehead slowly. He knew he was very protective of Jaemin not only because he did not want Jaemin to be hurt, but because he himself felt jealous every time Jaemin sparkled saying someone asked him out on a date. Jeno would sit nervously in front of the television, pinching his lips involuntarily and sending dozens of messages to Jaemin. Everyone already knows this. Well, except Jaemin.

Jeno felt he would faint during the truth or dare game last year where Jaemin chose the truth and Chenle asked him whether Jaemin had his first kiss. Jaemin boldly said that a man kissed his lips a few months before. Jeno was about to interrogate Jaemin when Mark uncovered apparently Donghyuck was the one who kissed Jaemin. Although Donghyuck explained that he and Jaemin were just as curious, and that it was only a light kiss on the lips, Jeno couldn't help but glance at Donghyuck fiercely all night (even weeks after).

Mark repeatedly reminded him to lower his possessive attitude a little because Jaemin had not once protested loudly. But Jeno remained in his stance. Jaemin is too kind and pure so he won't let anyone hurt Jaemin. Until his failure tonight.

Jaemin could feel Jeno's lips trembling on his forehead. He pushed Jeno and saw the man crying. Jeno closed his eyes and hugged Jaemin, buried his face in the nape of Jaemin while sobbing.

"Sorry, Nana... I can't protect you tonight... I failed you..."

"Jeno-hyung, stop!" Jaemin whispered. "We're just making us official. Don't cry unless from happiness, please?"

Jeno shook his head, apologized again. Jaemin quickly hugged him tightly, kissing Jeno's head.

"That was my fault. Your hot-headed Nana. I should think and act carefully. Don't blame yourself, please."

"Promise you won't do that again, later? Wait for me, Nana, when you feel unsure or angry. I won’t let that happen again. I will keep you closer right now." Jeno looked at Jaemin with tears in his eyes. Jaemin wiped Jeno's tears and kissed Jeno on both cheeks with his dry lips.

"Promise."

Jeno smiled. "May I...?" His eyes turned to Jaemin's lips before returning to Jaemin's eyes. Jaemin blushed, but he nodded without daring to look at Jeno.

So Jeno brought his face closer. He could count Jaemin's eyelashes now, smell his breath, and fall deeper into his bright eyes. Jaemin's chest pounded under his chest and he smiled because he did too. This was the first time they crossed the line between brothers who had been stretching for so long between them and Jeno had no remorse at all.

Jaemin closed his eyes slowly as Jeno approached. He couldn't look at Jeno's eyes any longer. Jeno's eyes are so sharp and intoxicating. Jaemin worried he did something stupid. Jeno's hand slowly landed on his cheek and Jaemin felt his chest would burst right then and there.

"KIDS! WE’RE HOME!!!"

They stuttered at Mr. Na loud voice. He called all the children to gather because Mrs. Na bought them cake as an apology for not being able to cook that night.

"Dad! I think you're gonna stay over in your friend's house!" came Donghyuck's shocked voice.

"Aigoo, how could you say that? Of course I don't have a heart to leave my children in such a long time!"

"Yah! Gather around and thank your mum and I because we thought about your poor asses! You must be dying without us. You had chicken, right? Of course you're not dumb enough to let Jeno poisoned your dinner by cooking it."

"Where is he, by the way? Did you guys having fun?"

"Y-yeah! We drank a lot of beers and we didn't stain your carpet!"

"Good, good. And Mark, you didn't enter the kitchen, right?"

"No, Dad."

“Good, stay away from it. I can't believe you can't even cook egg. Hyuck! Get yourself straight and teach your man here or leave him, I don't care. You're hopeless at cooking too. Imagine if both of you get married. You'll starve yourself or kill yourself in the kitchen trying to cook. Just stay with us if you even think about getting married, you got it? Lele, what did I say about managing your money? Thank God I can't speak Mandarin because I'll call your parents and tell them to stop giving you money at all! Ungrateful kid, I saw your another package arrived today. Is it new tech bullshit youll lost interest in three weeks? I'll burn them all! And Jisung! Go outside, I beg you! Stop playing with your phone or your computer. I swear I'll drag you to the field tomorrow. I never saw you stand up or walk! If I hear you shouting to your brother, I'll beat your lanky ass. Renjun! You're only hoping but why didn't you show up for the past week? Aigoo, this kid. Do you forget about your Korean parents already?! Honey, I can't believe this! They’re so hopeless. I can't die peacefully if they’re still live like this!"

"Is it our turn now?" Jeno whispered while grinning.

Jaemin who felt dizzy with his father's scolding could only hold his forehead. "Great moment, dad," he said.

"You know we can just ignore them and continue what we suppose to do before..." Jeno smiled as he raised his eyebrows.

Jaemin laughed softly. "I can't believe you." But he put his arm around Jeno's neck. They brought their faces back and the air in Jaemin's room thickened.

"My son! Na Jaemin! I bet you drunk already. My poor kid got drunk from cheap beers. Are you still heartbroken? Tell me his name and his address. Me and Jeno would come and beat some sense to that boy. If that works too much, I will beat you instead so you can focus on studying rather than crying over some stupid boys!" came the thunder of Mr. Na along with the steps up the stairs.

Jaemin and Jeno stared. Jaemin spontaneously pushed Jeno and kicked his stomach. Jeno back hit the edge of the bed and he groaned because of Jaemin's actions.

"Jaemin?!" the door swung open and Mr. Na looked at the two of them. Jaemin lay on the bed, his hair was messy and his face flushed, while Jeno opposite him, looked a bit chaotic.

"What is it?" he asked thoughtfully. Jaemin stammered trying to explain and Jeno stroked his head behind him.

"Are you guys..."

"N-no, dad! Really! Its not like what you think–” Jaemin stammered, trying to explain. Jeno swallowed nervously.

"...fighting again like some crazy dogs?"

But what Mr. Na said made them both gape.

"This is bullshit. I should knock some senses to your heads. You're twenty years old already, Lee Jeno. Grow up, will you?! Na Jaemin! How many times did I have to tell you to respect your brother?! That means no kicking and biting. I can't believe you guys want to get married to each other when you were child. Crazy asses like you will only destroy the wedding!" Mr. Na enters, tweaking Jeno and Jaemin's ears.

"Aaaah! Dad! Dad!" Jaemin screeched, banging his father's wrist softly.

"Its hurt, Dad!" Jeno exclaimed.

"Come on, get up and eat the cake before Hyuck and Renjun finished it all." Without taking his hands off Jaemin's and Jeno's ears, Mr. Na led them out of the room.

The five people who sat in the dining room only stared at them for a moment before returning to Mrs. Na who took the cake out of the big box and cut it up. Mr. Na only let go of his hands after Jeno and Jaemin sat in their chairs.

"I think my ear fell off, Mum!" Jaemin complained.

"Is that so, my son?" Mrs. Na looked at Jaemin sadly. He stroked Jaemin's cheeks and Jaemin fell to his mother's touch.

"See, just like a dog. Honey, just cut the cake already. Can you see Jisung, Hyuck, and Injun’s faces? They’re like a marathon runners, ready for the trigger. They will cry if you take any longer cutting the cake."

A few moments later, everyone was facing a plate of chunks that had been cut into pieces. Like what Mr. Na said, in a flash, Renjun, Donghyuck, and Jisung already took the second portion. But not as usual, Jaemin ate slowly. Jeno cuts Jaemin's cake into smaller pieces, inviting the same gaze from his other friends.

Mrs. Na added another piece to Jeno's plate even though the cake was still intact. "Aigo... our Jeno. You must be having a hard time taking care of your brothers, right?"

"It's okay, Mum," Jeno answered.

Mrs. Na looked at him softly. "Thank you for staying, Jeno."

"What are you talking about, honey?" exclaimed Mr. Na. "Of course he has to be. I can't believe you had the audacity to ask Mark this morning in my dining table, Lee Jeno. You shouldn't even think of going in the first place, you brat!” Mr. Na will swing the spoon. He then leaned slightly toward his wife. "Honey, wasn't he smart when he was little?"

"What are you talking about? Jeno is smart now. He won't befriend with Mark if he's not smart. They’re top of their class." Mrs. Na added pieces of cake to Mark's plate.

"I thought they were best friends because both of them are just socially awkward."

"Dad! Me and Jeno are smart. We're friends because we're always against each other to take over the first place," Mark said defensively.

"Sure, sure. The only smart thing you did is make a move on Donghyuck. You can survive the zombie apocalypse with him. He will eat all the zombies when you just grumpily make a pillow fort!”

Chenle, Jisung, and Renjun laughed while Donghyuck looked at Mr. Na.

"Now, you have to be smarter than Mark, Jeno. Choose your girlfriend or boyfriend wisely or you'll end up living miserably like Mark. Aigooo, poor Mark. He must be so dumb back then for always screaming after he met Donghyuck. He never knew what he got himself into." Jeno and Jaemin suddenly had difficulty swallowing.

"Daaaad!" Donghyuck groaned.

"I know, I know. You're pretty." Mr. Na answered half-heartedly. "You chosed your prey calculatively. That's why you're my son."

"I already have my decision, Dad. I have a boyfriend now."

Jeno's words made the whole table gasp.

"No way," Donghyuck murmured in disbelief.

"What?" Renjun didn't blink at him.

"Really, hyung?" Chenle exclaimed.

"You're lying! When?" said Jisung.

Only Mark seemed to be able to deduce what had happened through Jaemin's attitude that suddenly became timid and looked at the dining table cloth without being able to lift his face.

Mrs. Na glanced at Jaemin before trying to smile. "Who is it, son? Is it someone we know?" Oh, no. Jaemin must be really broken. She remembered when Jeno had his first lover. Although Jaemin seemed unaffected, because Jeno was still hanging around, Mrs. Na heard Jaemin cry every night.

Jeno seemed calm, and happy. His smile was wide and he was slightly uncomfortable. He cleared his throat before finally saying, "Its Jaemin."

"FINALLY!" Donghyuck and Renjun shrieked together, hugging each other happily.

Chenle laughed loudly while Jisung grunted. They have bet when Jeno and Jaemin will be in a relationship. Chenle said the two would formalize their relationship before Jaemin's graduation from high school, while Jisung believed the two would date after going to college together.

Mrs. Na quietly sighed in relief. Slowly he looked at her husband. Mr. Na's face didn't change, still staring closely at Jeno. Mark bit his lip in his place, suddenly knowing that it was not a good idea to tell Mr. Na.

Sure enough, a few seconds later, Mr. Na calm voice broke the surrounding excitement.

"No. You can't."

Mark could see Jeno's smile disappearing quickly and Jaemin's shoulder dropped dramatically.

The atmosphere turned tense because of Mr. Na looks earnest, not kidding as usual. Without finishing his cake, he left and entered his room. The children froze in their place because this was the first time they saw Mr. Na behaves like that. Mr. Na does often scream loudly, but inside, he is very caring and loves children like his own child. He was never truly angry.

"Aigo... your father must be tired, kid. Come on, finish your cake. You can have it all," Mrs. Na hurriedly interceded, pushing the cake towards the children. She got up and hugged Jeno and Jaemin for a moment. "I'll talk you to your father. Don't think too much about it, okay? We loves you." She kissed Jaemin's and Jeno's temples before she said good-bye.

But no one touched the cake in the middle of the table, not even the cake on their respective plates. They looked down, suddenly felt uncomfortable. When Jeno wanted to break the ice by entertaining them as he usually did, there was a faint sob beside him. Jeno locked his body to realize Jaemin was crying softly.

"Oh, Nana."

Donghyuck and Renjun got up, hugged Jaemin tightly. Jaemin's sobs grew louder and the two brought Jaemin back to his room. He looked back to his state when he arrived with Jeno earlier.

Jeno was only able to sit in his place, his hands clenched into his knees. His eyes felt hot. He does not believe Mr. Na, the man he considered his own father, refused his relationship with Jaemin. He did not know what was wrong. Is it because of what happened after the party some time ago? Jeno cursed inwardly. He shouldn't be so stupid and bring a drunk girl to his house. But Mr. Na wasn't angry because of that, especially after Jeno explained what had happened and the girl also told him that Jeno didn't do anything to her.

Then, why? When Jeno felt his tears gently drip into his hands, he felt a soft touch on his shoulder.

"I'm here, bro." Mark stroked his back with a soothing touch. The creaking of a chair shifted, and a few moments later Chenle and Jisung hugged Jeno's body.

"Hyung, don't be sad."

Jeno blinked. Fuck, is it the end? Am I gonna loose Jaemin? Jeno's mind ran wildly and he felt his head would break right then and there. Imagine how tortured he imagined Jaemin had a lover, especially if he was a jerk. Jeno is willing to do anything to always be by Jaemin's side. As now. He wanted to chase Jaemin, stop him from crying and hug him tight. But he knew all he could do now was hold back at Chenle and Jisung. Even though everything was going so fast, he arrived at a conclusion.

"It's okay, boys... I'll figure it out."

He raised his head and Mark smiled beside him while nodding. For this time, Jeno knew he was doing the right thing.

-