Archive of Our Own

                                       ✧

La Vie En Rose; to look at life in rosy hues and happy lenses.

Rather than looking at life through a rose colored lense, Jimin’d prefer to look through gold. As deceptively complex the color is, it's just enough to filter over the dull, colorless world. Enough to bring out the joy, but still see what reality lies beneath.

Yellow always stood out the most to Jimin, it became his favorite color. He saw it in the roads and the stars. He felt it when the sun shone on him, warming his cheeks and lighting the way. It made the world brighter than he knew it was. It hid the black and replaced it with gold.

Oh, to be a child and look at the world in yellow.

Children are funny things. They say funny things and have funny questions. They see the world as this big, bright sea of possibilities. A place with new wonders to see at every corner. With colors so bright they shine under the stars.

As you get older, day by day the world gets a little duller. Gradually, the colors lose their shine.

As you grow, you come to find a plethora of crusted black that hides beneath the colors, and you grow in fear. Suddenly, the world isn’t so bright and wonderful like it was.

It’s easy to handle knowing the world and its inhabitants aren’t so wonderful when you’re older. As you grow, your heart becomes stronger and more resilient to the shadows that lurk around.

But there’s the unlucky few that don’t get to have that luxury. Sometimes reality is shoved in your face.

Jimin had never planned for divorce in his life. No one does, and he wouldn’t wish it on his worst enemy. It was probably inevitable now that he looks back. Now that he’s grown, he knows his mistakes and why it would have never worked.

It was silly then to get married at 20 years old, as a junior in college, and it’s still silly looking back on it now. You do crazy things when you think you’re in love.

When you’re in love, money doesn’t matter. When you’re in love, everything is all or nothing. Jimin was young and full of life. He felt capable and confident, like he could take on anything. He had no problem wanting to expand their family within the first year of their marriage. At the time, they had the means. They hired a surrogate, a trusted friend.

By the time he was 21, Jimin was not only a student and a husband, but a father too.

Jungkook, his first born, was everything he ever wanted. He was beautiful and healthy. A product of love.

At some point, something changed. Looking back, Jimin wondered if they were ever really in love. In some ways, he thinks they used their love as a means to escape. To escape parental clutches and the pressures of society. But nothing was truly holding them back from jumping into adulthood and all that came with it.

And at some point after Jungkook’s birth, Jimin didn’t love his husband anymore, and only now does he wonder if there was ever a love to begin with.

They fought a lot, about everything. Sometimes it was trivial, but more often than not the husbands went in to hurt.

Arguments about cleanliness would turn into fights about character. Admiration turned into mockery. 

His husband had trouble keeping a steady job since he was uneducated and had no ambition to obtain it, so naturally he became the house husband taking care of Jungkook when Jimin was at school and work. It made Jimin angry.

Why can’t he just keep a good job? He doesn’t take care of Jungkook right. He’s lazy. He needs to help me more.

Now, before you get the wrong idea, his ex-husband is in no way a bad person or even a bad father. He was a good husband, despite the circumstances. He cared for them both. He tried his best and always gave them so much love. 

They were too different in character and it made things difficult between them. His husband lived a carefree lifestyle. Nothing mattered to him except them two; not money or school. He was content with only love and time with his family.

Jimin couldn’t deal with that. They had responsibilities. Duties as adults and as parents. Life wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows anymore and Jimin felt he was the only one aware of that.

They didn’t like each other just as people. Much less as husbands. It didn’t feel like a family. Jimin tried to fix it.

His husband was reluctant at first, but Jimin convinced him on the count of their son. Jimin didn’t want Jungkook to be alone. He wanted him to always have someone by his side, to love and cherish and to call family even if his dads weren’t there.

Within time, Jungkook’s little brother was born 12 days after his second birthday. They are biological brothers as they share the same surrogate mother.

If Jimin thought his heart was full for the love he had for his first son, he may have just grown a second heart. Namjoon was a beautiful bundle of joy. For a while, it felt like they were complete. Their family was whole, and the husbands were glad to be able to have a second chance.

But it didn’t last.

The fighting continued. Things were thrown. Curses screamed. Voices cracked. And babies cried. By the time Jungkook was 3 and Namjoon was 1, they had had enough. 

Jimin had already tried his best to fix it, for his sons. They really, really tried. There was no love anymore, only indifference.

He knew what it meant. He knew what he’d have to explain to the kids when they were older. He knew how much it would confuse them. It hurt him to have to be so selfish to them. But he couldn’t keep pretending. 

He’d rather have them grow in separate loving households than have them sit and watch as their fathers tear each other apart all their life. He didn’t want to show them that that’s all love was, because it wasn’t. He knew it would hurt them, but it was what’s best. He was just glad they were too little to understand the true weight behind it yet.

But Jungkook understood.

Even as a 3 year old. Still practically a baby. He knew because he was present. It wasn’t up to him, but he was aware of it all. He remembers.

Jimin knows now that Jungkook is a sensitive child. He was very receptive of people and their intentions. He felt evil. He felt so much for such a little boy. Fighting in front of him was never something they should have done. They should have done better to protect their son from watching and listening to such evil things. They were so full of anger they didn’t recognize that their baby was also in the room.

Subsequently, Jimin would suffer from the knowledge of how much they had unintentionally forced their first son to grow up so quickly. 

Jungkook had witnessed it all and he would remember. He remembers a time when they were together and happy, a family. He also remembers the bitterness that grew between them. He’ll always remember the day his father packed a bag and left their home. He cried and yelled for him to come home but he didn’t, and he didn’t know why. 

He remembers being left at his grandparents' home with Namjoon for hours at a time every day for a week, because his parents were at court fighting each other for their custody. 

He remembers the last day, when his other dad had packed up all his stuff from their home, ready to leave forever. Namjoon was too small, barely learning how to speak. He’d have no recollection of this day, ever.

Their dad kissed them both goodbye. He told he’d pick them up every other weekend. He told him to be good and to always take care of his brother. Although Jungkook knew what everything meant, his heart wasn’t strong enough to handle the surge of big emotions from that day. It shattered the minute his dad stood up to leave.

At 3 years old, Jungkook realized then that his family had broken apart. That alone drained all the shine from every color the little boy could see. 

He kicked and screamed, begging for his dad to stay. Jimin had to hold him, restraining his arms under his own so he wouldn’t hang onto his other dad as he left. It pained Jimin to see his baby broken, but they had made their choice. He’d have to suffer the consequences.

No one in the world could have prepared him though.

As soon as the door shut, Jimin was met with the broken shell of his son. His face was red and stained with burning tears. He screamed and screamed and Jimin could do nothing but stare, his own tears flooding his insides. Just upon looking at his son did Jimin realize the weight of what they had done. 

“Why did you let appa leave! You said you were gonna fix it! You’re a liar! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!!”

Jimin's heart broke that day, because he realized then and there that Jungkook was no longer a little baby boy.

To this day, Jimin will look back on that day as a constant reminder to himself that he’s already failed. He failed as a father the minute he signed the divorce papers. He uses the reminder as a way to push him to do better. To rid of the wrong he’s done by giving his sons’ love and everything he can muster with all his being. 

But now, Jimin no longer sees the world in yellow. He sees it as it’s meant to be. 

Dark, black, and gray.

                                       ✧

“Pa-“

Jimin can feel consciousness start to creep into him, stuck in that weird state of dreamland and reality. The sheets beneath him are soft and cool as his consciousness slips in and out of him the more he relaxes into it.

“Papa.”

His consciousness breaks and his eyes begin to open. It’s bright but it’s warm and inviting. The walls and sheets are tinted in a sunny yellow that makes him feel refreshed. He lets his muscles contract as he stretches and takes notice of the tiny figure that stands staring at him by his bedside.

Namjoon looks absolutely adorable where he stands in front of Jimin, with his little belly protruding from his long sleep shirt and messy bed head. Jimin sighs lovingly at the sight. He lifts his hand to move the loose strands away from his eyes.

“Good morning baby,” he coos.

He lifts himself on his elbows and leans in to peck his son on the lips to which the little one obliges. It’s no secret to the world that Jimin's favorite part about being a father are the endless amounts of kisses he can get from his two favorite people in the world at any given opportunity.

“Did you sleep well?”

Namjoon nods affirmatively. He brings his plush koala up to his chest that he had been holding. Jimin pets the inanimate animal in a familiar greeting.

“Did you have any dreams?” He nods again and Jimin lets out a little gasp. 

“Woah, really? What kind of dreams?”

He waits for Namjoon to say something, to answer his questions and go on a blabbering tangent about his fun, childish dreams. But Namjoon says nothing. The little boy grins and sways as if recollecting the memories of his dreams that brought him joy, but he says nothing to explain them. Jimin sighs.

“Tell me baby, what happened in your dreams?” He gives a little pout.

Namjoon gives him a big smile letting his little dimples show. Jimin wants to coo but he’s trying his best to coax his son into talking, but still, nothing. Jimin sighs in defeat. 

“Fine, don’t tell me.” He pouts harder and glares at his son. “I bet you’re a chatter box with your dad though”

And again, Namjoon doesn’t answer. Jimin shakes his head and gives the boy another kiss before he sends him off to wait in the living room for breakfast. As he washes himself in his bathroom he thinks of new ways he can try to coax his son into speaking more. He’s 2 now, completely able to comprehend words and language, but he chooses not to.

Jimin knows he can talk. He can get a few words out of him when asking questions or after he’s had an eventful day. He knows he talks a lot from the hushed conversations he and Jungkook have in their room. But for some reason, Namjoon chooses to stay silent around anyone else. He wonders if maybe he’s a bit too spoiled. 

Of course both his sons are spoiled to a certain degree. But unlike Jungkook, Namjoon prides himself on being the baby. His grandparents and other father probably baby him extensively due to the fact that they know Jimin doesn’t. He’s just trying to raise him. 

Jungkook is very grown for a 4 year old. And although that makes Jimin ache a bit, it’s helpful when a child is able to care and speak for themself for basic things. The same can’t be said for Namjoon. He’d rather gesture and wait for an adult to understand his intentions rather than outright say them. His babies are smart and sometimes it throws Jimin on a whirl.

He makes his way to their living room where he finds his sons playing on the floor. Namjoon is playing with his own feet while Jungkook is narrating a ferocious battle between their bunny and koala plushies. Gifts from their grandparents. Jimin stays out of sight to bask in the moment. His boys are growing so big every day, he’ll miss them when they’re this small and simple.

“Kookieee,” Jimin calls.

They notice their father’s presence and Jungkook hops over to give him a good morning kiss. When he makes his way back to his toys he gives Namjoon a kiss on his head for good measure.

Jimin turns the tv on to some cartoon while he attempts to make breakfast. One look into their refrigerator and pantry suggest there’s not much he can really muster. He nawns on his lip.

It’s hard for Jimin. He quit school way before the divorce to work more and take care of the kids. After the divorce, it got harder to work and still manage to be there and raise them. He found a job as a tailor for a small shop not too far from his home. It doesn’t pay much, but it’s just enough to pay the bills and then some.

Lucky for him, his job allows him to work from home. On top of being a tailor for the shop, he took on the role as their accountant, since he took courses in it when he was still at college. This made it easier to be with the kids and still make enough money to keep them afloat. He’s learned to cut back on expenses and only rely on what they absolutely need. It’s a little easier now that Namjoon no longer needs baby formula or a ridiculous amount of pampers.

Even though he manages their money well, there are still trying days. The most difficult things for him to afford regularly are food and clothes. His boys are growing and they need the right nutrition, but it’s difficult for Jimin to always have enough food for them all.

Case in point, they currently have no rice, no vegetables, and ,of course, no meat. They’re due for a grocery run. He manages to make an egg sandwich with the last of their bread and eggs for the two. There’s not enough for him to have a whole sandwich, so he splits the rest off for the two to share. He’s starved a couple hours during days before in order for his kids to eat, and he’d happily do it again and again.

“Papa, are we going to work with you today?” Jungkook asks excitedly. 

They’re eating on their one small table in the middle of their living room. Jimin is feeding Namjoon small bites of his sandwich while Jungkook is already cleaning the crumbs from his area. Jimin sometimes prides himself for instilling very good mannerisms into his first born, but it’s not all his doing. Jungkook has always been a well mannered toddler.

“No, love. But papa has a lot of chores to do, so I’m going to be a bit busy. I need you to watch over Joonie ok? Make sure you both don’t get into trouble.”

Jungkook nods enthusiastically. Jimin bites the inside of his cheek. 

Frankly speaking, Jimin thinks he’s a terrible parent. What kind of father asks his 4 year old son to watch over and care for his 2 year old brother? Jungkooks just a toddler! He has no business being responsible over a baby. He’s had these conflicting thoughts in his head for a year, ever since the divorce. He hates it but there’s not much else he can do. 

He can’t hire a babysitter, he has no money for it and he frankly doesn’t trust anyone that isn’t family with his kids. He can’t send them to their other dad, it’s written in their custody agreement on what dates they’re supposed to be with the other. He can’t send them back and forth more than they already do.

Usually he’d leave them at his parents house that’s not too far, but today they can’t take them and if he’s being honest, he doesn’t want to leave them anywhere. They’re his kids and he wants to be with them always like he’s supposed to. What worse of a father would he be if he kept leaving them places away from him.

He shakes his head to get rid of the ugly thoughts and gets the two ready to go out. There’s plenty that needs to be done and Jimin has no time to get lost in his self loathing.

Getting the kids ready is a bit of a hassle when the weather is still cold. Jungkook grows taller every day, and sooner or later Jimin will have to use up a good sum of his paycheck to get him bigger clothes. He's glad he can use the old clothes as hand-me-downs for Namjoon for the time being.

After getting them bundled up, they head out the door hand in hand. The apartment complex they live in is a small one with only two floors housing a few units each. They live on the top floor at the very end of the hall, away from most of the neighbors and with the utmost privacy. 

Jimin’s lived here since he got married and had no choice but to stay less he risks not being able to find a better, cheaper home for them. His neighbors are older and quiet and in no way intrusive to his life and family. He still tries to keep to himself, though. 

He has no real friends, inevitably dropping any he had soon as he was brought into parenthood. But that doesn’t matter to him. He doesn’t need friends, he has his children.

“Appa, it’s Yoongi-ssi!” Jungkook exclaims.

Jimin turns from locking up their door to meet the only neighbor that he’s ever had the pleasure of being acquainted with. A quant man who’s lived here since before Jimin moved in. A man who, although probably knows of their family situation, has never asked questions or intruded in their privacy.

“Morning, Jungkookie. Namjoonie. Jimin-ssi.” Yoongi smiles as he makes his way towards them.

As their next door neighbor, Min Yoongi is nothing but a gentleman. A short, but confident man with auburn hair and a dazzling smile, very easy on the eyes. Always greeting them should they pass. Always lending Jimin a hand in carrying bags of groceries. Always treating him and his children respectfully.

Not once has Yoongi ever asked about his ex-husband since he left and not once has he complained about them when they had lived together. Jimin was always thankful the walls in their unit were thick enough to cover the vile screaming away from his neighbor. Jimin smiles wide when he greets him.

“Good morning Yoongi-ssi. What do we say boys?”

“Good morning Yoongi-ssi, sir!” 

Namjoon gargles over his fingers in his mouth and Jimin rolls his eyes. Yoongi chuckles.

“Hello to you too, Namjoonie, I see you’re as talkative as ever.” He jokes and it makes Jimin shake his head at his son's resilience to keep quiet.

“How are you, Yoongi-ssi? I don’t think we’ve bumped into you this early before.”

“That’s because I’m out way earlier than this. I forgot something at home, I just came to pick it up.”

Jimin takes notice of the black drawing tube that hangs across the elders' back. He knows Yoongi’s an architect for some firm so he guesses he forgot something for work.

“How are you all? You look extra cozy today Jungkookie,” Yoongi makes his way to his door across from them.

“We’re going to the market cause’ we don’t have rice and eggs! And we’re gonna wash clothes today! And papa said if we’re good he’ll make us cookies!” Jungkook blabbers on excitedly.

Jimin presses his mouth into a line and looks at his neighbor embarrassed. The elder laughs at the boys words and smiles gummy and wide.

“That sounds super fun, huh?” He says and the little boy nods happily. “Well, don’t give your dad a hard time, yeah? He works hard so be sure to share those cookies with him.”

Jimin unexpectedly gets a little flustered from the compliment, unsure if his neighbor meant it that way or not. He lifts up Namjoon and rests him on his hip as a distraction.

“Oh they’re very good boys aren’t they?” He hums.

They both nod, even Namjoon. Yoongi's chunkle forces Jimin to look at him. He won’t lie and say his neighbor isn’t attractive. He’s never thought much of him until recently, with the past weeks of Jimin constantly working to put food on the table. Their bump ins have been more frequent as of late, and each time Jimin is always left feeling a little shy and giddy.

Between all the grays in the world, there are two constant gleaming lights of gold that color Jimin’s day. Those two being Jungkook and Namjoon.

Some days, however, he’ll come to find that even his neighbor lights up a faint yellow on his path. The small gestures truly make a difference for the little family, even if his neighbor doesn’t know it.

He blinks out of his thoughts and laughs nervously.

“Well, we better get going, aha. Have a good day, Yoongi-ssi.” He bows.

“You too.” Yoongi bows back and unlocks his door to disappear. Jimin sighs.

“Park Jungkook. Yoongi-ssi doesn’t need to know everything about us, love. You can’t go on telling strangers all of our business,” he directs at his eldest.

“Mr. Yoongi isn’t a stranger. He’s the good neighbor. Remember he gave me a tangerine!”

Jimin laughs and rubs his son's little hand.

“Yes, baby. I remember.”

Their day is filled with mundane adventures. A trip to the market for a rice and banana milk restock. An expedition to the public laundromat— the kids love the rustic place particularly for some reason. It’s a typical day in the life of the Park family.

They eat simple and find joy in simple things. Be it playing a game of leap frog through the streets or hide and seek between coin operated washing machines.

They don’t go to work with Jimin again like they’ve done before. Instead he catches up with filing invoices and hemming blouses at home while the boys play house with a large cardboard box he had decorated.

They’re not poor, thankfully, but they’re not far off from it either. They get by just fine, and that’s all Jimin could ask for. He’ll forever be grateful to his children for being so humble and understanding.

By evening, after their bellies are full from noodles and milk, they’ll lay together on Jimin’s bed in his small room. The brothers share a room and mattress of their own, but as of late they find thrill in spending nights snuggled up with their father. Jimin isn’t one to oppose.

They wrestle and laugh. They sing and practice alphabets and recall any new sightings of the day. Miraculously, the littlest one will sometimes participate in their conversation. 

By the time the stars have hung high in the sky, the two brothers will fall into a deep slumber. Jimin will stay up to watch over his sons as they rest peacefully, sometimes priding himself on a job well done.

Jimin always reminds himself that as long as they’ve eaten, and are able to rest that night with a roof over their heads, he’s done a fair job.

He lets the boys sleep while he continues to do chores in the home or catch up on work. He goes to fold up their drying laundry from his balcony when he notices a familiar person out on his balcony too.

“Oh, good evening Yoongi-ssi,” Jimin calls softly from across.

His neighbor is leaning out on his balcony with a journal in his hand. He’s surprised when he sees Jimin and it makes him giggle.

“Ah, good evening,” the elder answers shyly.

Jimin continues his chore, not concerned over the presence of the elder until he clears his throat. He looks up at him to find the man fidgeting with his book.

“You can call me hyung, Jimin. If that’s alright?” He asks meekly.

It takes a minute for Jimin to catch up with the request, but he happily accepts. They’ve lived across from one another for 5 years, and although progress has been slow, Jimin would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little pleased that he’s met someone to call more than an acquaintance. Not quite a friend, but akin to it.

The silence that follows after isn’t stiff or awkward, but comfortable. Jimin does his chores while his neighbor sits quietly and sketches in his book. Though it’s late and he feels tired and cold, it’s been a good day. An easy day compared to the rest, and Jimin breaths easily.

His neighbor closes his book and is about to make his way back into his home, but he stops. He faces Jimin.

“Uhm, Jimin?”

Jimin stops what he’s doing and looks at his neighbor curiously.

“I- uh. This may not be my place to say anything. I just…uhm.”

He’s nervous and it shows. Very uncharacteristic for the many times he’s seen or talked to Yoongi. Jimin begins to grow defensive, afraid his neighbor might begin to complain about something regarding him or his children. He wouldn’t have any reason to think so, seeing as Yoongi is one of, if not the only, person who’s treated them with the utmost respect.

“I just...I know we don’t know each other well. But I see how hard you work.” He makes a small gesture at the current state of work Jimin is in to prove a point.

“And I understand the situation your family is in. I hope that doesn’t bother you. I mean- It doesn’t bother me. I mean- wait, no. I mean none of that matters!” He rambles on nervously. Jimin’s brows furrow in confusion. Yoongi sighs heavily. 

“I’m bad at this, sorry. What I mean to say is that if you ever need anything, you can just ask.”

A long pause passes. Jimins head is swirling to find any hidden ulterior motifs within the words.

“I know I’m just a neighbor.” Yoongi starts again, softly and shy. “But I see how hard you work, and your kids are great. So, if you ever need anything, neighbor to neighbor...I’m just next door.”

Yoongi grins, albeit embarrassed. Jimin, however, is totally and utterly surprised.

Never in his adult life has anyone shown him this amount of genuine kindness. He knows it’s genuine because he believes in Yoongi as the kind neighbor he’s always been. 

Always soft spoken and considerate. Jimin wouldn’t have a reason to not believe him.

“Thank you, hyung.” Jimin replies after a moment, still a little awestruck.

Yoongi nods and smiles a little wider, content with the answer and begins walking away.

“Have a good night, Jimin.”

His neighbor leaves and Jimin no longer feels cold. He finds that the incandescent light emitting from next door shines a little brighter after that night.

                                       ✧

Things start to change after that night on the balcony. Not drastically, but Jimin has become acutely aware of his neighbors presence in his everyday life.

He generously takes up on the elders' offer, but only for necessary favors. One day he’s in need of sugar, so he asks next door to which Yoongi graciously provides. The sliding balcony door in their living room needed a little fixing, and Yoongi happily offered to fix it. 

They greet each other in passing as always and make small talk every now and then. But now it’s different. Jimin knows a little more about the man. How he has an older brother, how he co-owns a small firm with a friend, how he likes to play piano and read.

It feels a little weird and nerve wracking to say they’re friends. Jimin would be afraid to admit it in fear of the realization that they might not really be friends at all. 

But Yoongi is kind, and gentle. Never overstepping with questions; always considerate of the kids and what they’re feeling in regards to his presence.

The two times Yoongi came into their apartment, for maintenance things Jimin couldn’t fix, Jungkook and Namjoon made it their duty to show the elder every toy they ever owned. And Yoongi, ever the gentle one, always gave them all his attention.

The late night talks on the balcony had become a bit of a regular between them. Yoongi would sketch or read while Jimin would work outside on their tiny potted garden.

They talk about nothing in particular, but it’s the comfortableness between the silence that makes those nights so special. Though they’re apart, they’re not really alone, and that’s a wonderful feeling.

Jimin doesn’t think much of these small progressive interactions, but he relishes in them for what they’re worth. It’s been a long time since Jimin’s had a friend. Someone other than his children who make the world seem less blue.

Though he doesn’t know him well, Jimin could admit that he may be harboring a small crush on his neighbor. He knows better than to think of it as anything more though. As the type of parent Jimin is, he has no room in his life for crushes or silly loves. Or so he thinks.

It’s White day. An observed holiday, but a holiday nonetheless. Similar to Valentine’s Day, but with a more meaningless motive. Jimin is excited.

Today is one of the rare days Jimin can set aside work and chores to spend an obscene amount of time with his sons. He plans a day full of their favorite activities and surprises.

Just after breakfast when the kids are playing, Jimin sneakily grabs the gifts that he’d hid in his closet the night before. He keeps the two little heart shaped boxes hidden behind his back when he sits near them.

“Boys I have a surprise!”

The last word perks up Jungkook's ears and he hops over with a wide bunny smile. Namjoon wobbles over curiously.

“What is it papa?” Jungkook asks with a lisp. He’s bouncing in place from excitement and it makes Jimin laugh.

“Ah ah! Patience baby. What’s the magic word?” Jimin lifts his cheek up towards the boy and flutters his eyelashes.

Jungkook giggles and lunges forward to give him a big wet kiss on his cheek. “Not a word silly.”

They laugh when Jimin jokingly groans in disgust. The littlest one giggles at the display and that props him to do the same as his brother. Jimin pretends to tumble over and that fills the air with more giggles.

“Come on papa, what is it!”

Jimin shifts his eyes to them both cheekily until he whips his hands forward, revealing the heart box full of chocolates and gummies.

“Happy White Dayyy!”

Jungkook squeals, happily grabbing the box with Namjoon reacting the same.

“Thank you papa!”

“Thak ooh!”

Jimin kisses the tops of their heads and urges them to open the boxes and have at it. 

It’s rare Jimin can feel comfortable spending money on things like treats and new toys for the boys. On any given holiday he tries to save enough to get them at least a little something for them to have that isn’t on discount. The gifts are still small, but the boys are happy to receive them nonetheless.

Jungkook leaves his box on the floor after munching on a few candies when he whispers in his brother's ear. Namjoon leaves his box and they scurry off into their room. Jimin calls after them but Jungkook tells him to wait.

After a moment the two come trotting back to the living room very obviously hiding sheets of paper behind their backs. They desperately try to hide their giggles and gummy smiles and Jimin just wants to coo.

“Okay, ready,” Jungkook not-so whispers to the baby. “One, two, three! Happy White Day papa!”

“Appy ite day!”

As they holler in unison they reveal the sheets of colored drawings to Jimin. Jungkooks is a beautiful family portrait of them with green skin and yellow hair, with various doodles of his favorite things scattered around in various colors. Namjoons is a tornado of blue and orange scribbles.

Jimin gasps loudly when he sees the drawings and covers his cheeks in awe. If he wasn’t so endeared, he’d probably cry from the sheer amount of love and generosity he feels for the boys.

Instead he squeals in joy and compliments them on their artistry. He tugs on them for more kisses which then turns into a tickle fight between the three.

It’s a meaningless holiday, but it’s days like these Jimin loves the most. They’re special, and even if the kids may not remember them when they’re older, Jimin will always keep these happy moments locked away in his heart.

The doorbell breaks them from their tickle fight. It surprises Jimin. No one ever comes over. He’s still riding on a euphoric high so he doesn’t think much of it when he goes to answer, making sure the kids stay in the room.

It’s definitely surprisingly to meet who is on the other end, to say the least.

He’s met with the blushing face of his one and only generous neighbor. He stands stiff with his fist up mid knock, ears burning red and mouth shut tight.

“Oh! Yoongi hyung, hi.” He greets his neighbor happily.

“Hi.” Yoongi answers with a nervous smile.

“May I help you with something?”

The elder opens and shuts his mouth repeatedly, seemingly trying to find the right words. Jimin grows curious, wondering if his neighbor needed a favor returned.

Jimin grows a little worried with his neighbor getting increasingly redder and anxious. He’s about to ask if he’s okay when something covers his view.

It’s a bird. A chick actually. A small, yellow baby chick plush with a pouty beak and holding a little plush heart between its wings. Jimin stares at the plush held in front of him and looks at his neighbor confused. Yoongi bites his lip.

“It’s uhm…for you.”

Jimin blinks a little in awe. He points to himself to confirm and Yoongi nods. He tentatively takes the bird into his hands and stares at it in wonder.

“Happy White Day.” Yoongi murmurs.

Jimin’s head shoots up at that. He watches Yoongi look away from his gaze, but nothing can hide the redness in his cheeks and his adam’s apple bobbing from a deep swallow. Jimin feels his face getting warmer.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t get you anything.” He comments shyly.

“It’s okay, I didn’t expect anything in return. It’s just for you.”

Jimin grins but tries to keep it from showing. He’s shy all of a sudden from his neighbors forwardness. He has many questions, but he tries not to dwell on them. Instead he holds the little bird firmly to his chest and tries to calm his gradual beating heart.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I actually have something for the kids too. If you don’t mind. I didn’t get them candy cause’ I didn’t think you’d want them to have so much.”

“Oh.” Jimin turns to look back at his sons, then back to Yoongi. “Would you like to give it to them?”

“I n-no you can, it’s okay,” Yoongi sputters.

“I’m sure they’d be happy to receive it from you,” Jimin smiles. “Please come in, I insist.”

Yoongi grins shy and bows before he walks in. As he takes off his shoes, Jimin walks to the boys.

“Boys, Yoongi-hyung is here. He has something for you.”

Jungkook and Namjoon look up expectantly, curious to find their neighbor coming up behind Jimin with a big smile. Yoongi crouches to meet them at eye level.

“Hey. Uhm, Happy White day!” He whips the two plushies out from behind his back. One is a cute little white rabbit while the other is a baby puppy. “Sorry, Joonie, they didn’t have koalas.”

Jungkook squeals in glee and snatches the plush from Yoongi’s hands to examine further. Namjoon walks over and Yoongi gently places the plush in his hands. The brothers pet the toys and thank Yoongi repeatedly while Jimin just watches with his heart in his throat.

It’s rare for the boys to ever get new toys, only waiting for their birthdays or the winter holiday if Jimin can afford it. The sight of their happy faces and Yoongi giving them each high-fives does something to Jimin’s heart that he doesn’t want to let go.

“We’re going to the park! Papa says he has another surprise for us.” Jungkook exclaims to Yoongi, breaking Jimin from his thoughts.

“Wow that sounds so fun!” Yoongi says with a wide smile.

“Are you coming with us, hyung?”

That makes both the adults' eyes blow wide. Jimin catches Yoongi side eyeing him nervously.

“Aha, no Kook-ah that’s okay. It’s only yours and your dad’s day to spend together,” the elder explains softly. Jungkooks face falls a little at the refusal, and Jimin can’t help but let his heart rule over his rationale.

“Would you like to join us?” He asks his neighbor.

Yoongi looks up to him with wide eyes and a new growing blush.

“Only if you’re not busy, we’re not doing much besides strolling through town and the park. You’re welcome to join.” Jimin explains, hiding his hopefulness.

Yoongi sputters, rubbing a hand behind his neck, “I wouldn’t wanna impose..”

“It’s okay, really. I’m offering. It’s more for my company than the kids.” Jimin admits shyly.

“A-ah, then, sure. I’d love to.”

Jimin can practically feel the warmth from the tension between them. It feels like high school the way they steal glances and smile goofily. 

“I-I’ll go get my coat,” Yoongi says before he stumbles away. Jimin giggles and bites his lip, anticipating what the day will bring.

When they stroll away from the apartment as four, Jimin becomes acutely aware of Yoongi’s presence. Lucky for him, the elder refuses to let the silence consume them by asking Jungkook silly questions to which the boy will happily ramble on about.

Still, he can’t shake the feeling of how incredibly domestic this whole scenario is, and he can’t say he isn’t enjoying it.

The air is still cold but thankfully the sun is out, warming their cheeks and brightening their day. They stroll through the neighborhood until they reach a small park, and lucky for them it’s empty. 

In ordinary situations, Jimin would sit closely and keep an eye on the two boys as they play. As soon as they got there, however, the little ones had other plans. This included dragging Yoongi inside the very tiny playhouse which they labeled as his “ship”, prompting him as the “Captain Hook”. 

Jimin could not keep his giggles from leaving him as he watches his children and neighbor enact a dramatic retelling of the adventures of Peter Pan. As the distressed Wendy, Jimin is whipped around by his sons in an attempt to save him from the captain’s evil clutches.

This is Jimin’s favorite part about being a parent. Despite circumstances of any kind, it’s fun to pretend along with your children. To play and laugh and smile, and relish in a little made up world within the real one. A happier world.

Jimin finds that he doesn’t hate having another presence within their world. Yoongi adds more to the joy. He brings new colors and happy thoughts that Jimin hasn’t felt in a long, long time.

After they play, Jimin takes them to a cafe further out into the city for lunch. They eat graciously and talk about silly things. Jimin and Yoongi occasionally banter on trivial matters like which is the better condiment, or who has the softest hair. It makes the boys laugh.

Yoongi insisted on paying for lunch, which Jimin accommodated by splitting the check in half.

On the train home, the boys nap on either of the men’s lap. This leaves the two a moment to talk, arms brushing against each other.

They talk about themselves, their childhood, their dreams. Things Jimin has never had to tell anyone else since besides his ex-husband. 

Yoongi is patient and quiet as he listens to Jimin. It’s as if he wants to commit everything he says to memory. Jimin does the same. He can’t pinpoint what this feeling is between the two. It’s comfortable and strange and enticing. Jimin can’t help getting lost in the others' sharp eyes as he talks, and he’s aware of the elder doing the same.

They don’t speak of anything that isn’t friendly or uncommon between neighbors. They don’t flirt particularly. There’s only a sense of comfortability and content that makes it feel like they’ve always known each other. Like they’ve always been like this.

On their stroll back to the apartment, they pass a small bakery. Their day is coming to an end and what better way to end it than to stuff their bellies with the most expensive thing Jimin can afford.

“Which one do you want, lovelies?” Jimin asks his sons when they step into the little bakery. The boys are in awe at the gorgeous display of cakes and treats all around the shop. Their mouths water in anticipation.

“We can really choose whatever papa? Are you sure it’s not too much?” Jungkook asks reluctantly. 

Jimins heart crumbles a bit at his son’s consideration, Yoongi probably notices. He crouches closer and holds his son's hand firm.

“Nothing is too much for you Kookie. You can have whatever you want. We'll take it home and share it all together and we’re gonna watch all the movies you boys want.” Jimin says with conviction and a bright smile.

His heart swells with pride when he sees Jungkook's eyes light up with joy.

“And Yoongi-hyung will share too?”

Jimin turns to look at his neighbor. His ears are flushed but he grins happily.

“I’d love to if you’d like me to.”

“Of course we would.” Jimin says.

He lets the boys run back and forth between the displays to pick a cake when Yoongi comes close to him and whispers.

“Thank you.”

Jimin meets his eyes. Oh how close they are and how much he’d love to get lost in them again.

“Thank you, hyung. I haven’t had a friend in a long time.”

They settle on a small, yellow lemon cake with small macaroon cookies pressed into the top. They all skip home hand in hand together, anticipating the dive into the treat and what movies they’ll be watching.

Once they get to the complex, Jimin firstly goes to open their mailbox at the entrance.

“I have this coffee imported from South America that I’ve been wanting to try, I think it’ll go nice with the cake,” Yoongi had been saying once they walked in.

“How about you go grab it first. We’ll meet you up there.” Jimin had said, keeping the cake and kids at his side.

Yoongi obliged and made his way quickly up to his apartment to get the coffee first. He walks briskly, anticipating the events forthcoming. He gets to the top floor, his steps slow. There’s a man at the end of the hall, waiting in front of Jimin’s home.

He’s a tall man with a large frame and dark shaggy hair. He’s built like someone who works in construction, with some scratches and marks of wear on his tattooed arms. Despite the demeanor in his body, his face is round and gentle looking with little stubble. Yoongi recognizes the man and his heart seizes.

“Oh? Yoongi-ssi! How’s it going, man?”

“Hyung-joon ssi,” he bows, “Great. Long time, no see.” Yoongi chuckles nervously, desperately trying to hide his anxiousness.

“It’s nice seeing you man. How’s that firm doing?” The man makes small talk. His voice is light and welcoming. He’s a nice man.

“It’s uh, going good. Ahah..how about you!” Yoongi fidgets with his keys. He’s standing directly in front of his door now and occasionally glances at the staircase of the hallway, hoping to not see a familiar looking person with blonde hair.

“Ah, I’m alright. Looking for a new job somewhere, construction ain’t cutting out for me. Too many hours.” Yoongi nods in understanding.

“Ah! I’m sorry if I’m holding you up! I’m just waiting for Jimin. Have you seen him?”

“Uh- “

“Appa!?”

The two men turn to see Jimin standing still at the edge of the staircase with Namjoon in one arm and a very excited Jungkook by his side. His face is flabbergasted with a pinch of disdain.

“Appa you’re here!!” Jungkook runs to the man and he picks the boy up and swings him around. Jungkook’s giggles fill the hall and Jimin stomps forward. Yoongi caves further towards his door.

“Hey bun! What’s up kiddo?”

“Hyung-joon? What are you doing here?” Jimin asks quickly. Hyung-joon sighs heavily.

“Hi, Jimin, nice to see you too.” 

Jimin rolls his eyes. He sets Namjoon down on the ground and the boy runs up to his other father’s leg. He pets his head and gives him a kiss.

“What do you need?” Jimin asks annoyed with his arms crossed, still holding the white box that contains the small cake.

Hyung-joon sets Jungkook down and slides closer to Jimin to keep the conversationbetween them.

“I came to pick up the kids.”

Jimin eyes furrow in confusion. “It’s Thursday. You’re supposed to get them tomorrow.”

“I know, I know.” The man nervously fidgets in place. “I was wondering if you could let them come with me today?”

Jimin eyes twitch. “Why? You get them tomorrow.”

Hyung-joon sighs a little more harshly.

“I know, Jimin. I got time off today and I thought it would be nice to get the kids early so we could, you know, be together!... Come on, Jimin, I only get three days.” He says quietly but with more conviction.

Jimin shakes his head defiantly. 

“We already have plans today, Joon. If you wanted them to go with you, you should have called.”

“I didn’t call because I know you would have said no.”

“Exactly. Because you know the days you’re supposed to have them.” Jimin bites back.

Hyung-joon rubs a hand over his face. Everything about their tones and gestures show a sense of familiarity.

“Jimin. I get three days. That’s it, just three days out of a whole two weeks to see them! I work too many hours and I finally have some time off and I wanted to see them. It’s just one day, Jimin. Why can’t you just let me? They’re my kids, too.” He reasons.

This angers Jimin. How could he come here unannounced and ask for so much? It’s written what days they’re allowed to have the kids. Jimin fought tooth and nail to have majority custody over the boys. He’s barely with the boys too from how much he works. How could he ask for that?

“You’re asking me to let you take the boys when it’s my day? Why would you ask that? It’s written in legal documents the days you have them.” Jimin's voice rings a little harsher now.

Hyung-joon huffs tiredly. He shakes his head and runs a hand through his hair in annoyance.

“Jeez Jimin, just forget it. I can never ask anything from you.” He grumbles under his breath, but the punch is obvious.

“Can never ask me? That’s rich coming from you when you barely give me money for child support.” Jimin snarls.

The blow is deep and hurtful and he meant it. He knows he struck a nerve when his ex-husband looks at him angrily.

“Papa don’t- “

“Really Jimin? Jesus, man. What the hell do you want from me?”

“You don’t give me that crap Joon- “

“No, I will! You want to be ugly and that’s bullshit because you know I don’t make a lot of money either! But you want to be devil's advocate and make me look like the bad guy! I give you everything I can Jimin.”

“Don’t act like the money’s for me, it’s for the kids! For better clothes and better shoes! Stop acting like you’re doing your best and work harder for them!” Jimin says with a raised voice.

“You don’t think I’m trying my best?! I want to raise them too! How do you expect me to raise them with only two weekends a month!? Is that really what you want for them? You don’t want them to have both their dads in their life?”

Jimins ears were ringing. He holds his breath for a moment. No one could ever make him so full of rage than his ex-husband.

“You chose that time!”

“You didn’t give me a choice!”

“Maybe if I could trust you to raise them right then we’d have settled on better terms!”

“It’s always my fault isn’t it Jimin?” Hyung-joon says in a low tone. 

He’s still angry but he talks to Jimin somewhat softer than they had just been doing. It’s a reflection of his at ease character, always the first one to let things go. It makes Jimin furious.

“It’s never yours. You think you’re so perfect and know everything, and I’m the ‘bad guy’. I can never just talk to you. I’m really trying here Jimin, but your attitude is so fu- freaking ugly you won’t even let me try to be a good dad.”

The sheer anger from the words his ex-husband spoke and the clear implications that he may indeed be holding his own children’s father from seeing him makes Jimin see red. It’s not the first time a fight like this has happened, it’s certainly not the last. 

Jimin knows he’s being harsh. He knows that some things he believes in are wrong, but he doesn’t want to cave. Why? He can’t bear the thought of being the one wrong when he’s been trying to do what’s right for so long.

“Well, you’re a hypocrite.” Jimin bites back coldly. “You talk all this crap like I’m the evil one when I’m the one who does everything for them. I give them everything!” Jimin yells.

“I give them everything too Jimin!!” 

“Don’t yell in FRONT OF THE KIDS!”

“YOU’RE THE ONE WHOS YELLING!”

“BECAUSE YOU DON’T FUCKING LISTEN!”

“STOP IT!!”

The world is quiet save for the shrill cry of a child. They turn their heads to meet their sons below. Jungkook is red and covered in sweat and snot. He sobs and claws at his face to rid of his tears, but to no avail. Namjoon is clutching his brother's shirt behind him, face stained in salty tears as well. 

“S-top f-fighting p-papa. Pl-ease.” Jungkook wails. 

He’s directing his plea to Jimin. Because he knows it’s Jimin’s fault. Jimin’s the reason they’re fighting, the reason they’re in this situation in the first place.

It’s always Jimin.

Nothing can be heard except for the two children’s hiccups and cries. The ex-husbands look at each other, anger still ridden in their faces but they forcefully make it subsy. Jimin turns away from his eyes only to meet the eyes of many. 

His entire hallway of neighbors are peaking out of their doors. It was their fault for making a scene out in the open for their prying eyes to see, but it’s still embarrassing. 

“May I help you?” Jimin says in a deep, angry tone to no one and all of them. He feels the moisture build and burn in his eyes. They all disappear into their homes.

Hyung-joon crouches to their children and they both run into his arms. They sob in his comfort while he apologizes in hushed tones. He looks up at Jimin coldly and picks them both up. Jimin opens the door and lets him bring them into their home. He leaves the door open for Jimin, because of course, they can’t just stop there. They have things to discuss.

Jimin is about to follow when he notices someone is still standing in the hallway. He looks right into Yoongi from across his door. He’s frozen, hands gripped at his sides, mouth slightly agape, and eyes glazed over. It’s a sour sight.

Jimin does nothing but stare at his neighbor. He wonders what he could be thinking. Does he think of him as a bad father, or as just an evil person? He wonders if the tears in the elders eyes are for him, his children, or just there out of plain fear. Jimin swallows the lump in his throat, he can’t show Yoongi anymore. He doesn’t even feel worthy of apologizing.

Yoongi’s hands release from their grip. He takes a deep breath and meekly walks backwards away from Jimin. He says nothing and he gives no leading expression. With one last glance to him he opens his door and disappears.

Jimin stared through the door until the gloss over his eyes subsided. With guilt, he walks into his home and shuts the door.

                                       ✧

An hour or so passes in the Park home, filled with nothing but hushed apologies and silent arguing. They talk for once, and after a small nap for the little ones, Jimin settles on letting them go.

The kids are excited to visit their other dad a day early, and Jimin tries his best to not let his sorrow show. He packs their little bags with the regular things they bring between houses, kisses them goodbye, and wishes them a fun filled weekend as they leave. 

The apartment is quiet and all too big for Jimin suddenly. He paces aimlessly across the living room, with no real thoughts to ponder on as he does. He walks to the kitchen area to find the forgotten yellow, lemon cake still wrapped neatly in its box.

He grabs a fork and brings the cake to the small table. It would go bad by the time the kids came back, Jimin thinks. They never got to taste it. He’ll have to get another one some other time for them to try. He can’t find it in him to throw it out and let it go to waste.

He sobs silently while he munches on the delicacy. It’s a lot sweeter than he imagined. Sweet with a twinge of sour from the lemon and the salt extract of his tears. He sits and eats, making a sizable dent in the treat before he hears a knock coming from his front door.

Groggily, he wipes his tears and heads for the door, not bothering to check on who it might be. He can guess though.

Yoongi’s demeanor is noticeably smaller than all the other times he’s greeted Jimin. They say nothing when he opens the door, just stare. Jimin wonders how bad he looks with his swollen red eyes. 

Yoongi says nothing for a while, just looks at him and grins sadly before he presents a small jar of coffee beans before Jimin. He giggles, roughly, at the sight and nods for his neighbor to enter.

They wallow in comfortable silence while Jimin grinds the beans and makes the coffee, pouring them both full mugs before joining Yoongi at the table. He hands him a fork and they dig back into the cake. The coffee coats over the sour in his mouth.

They make small talk about nothing in particular and what was once a cake is now a small mound of crumbs. Their mugs are empty and they’ll probably get sick later, but right now they’re content.

Jimin picks at the crumbs with his fork for a long while until he finally musters the courage to speak.

“I’m sorry you had to see that.”

Yoongi looks up at him, eyebrows furrowed in pity.

“I don’t know what you must be thinking of me, or Hyung-joon, but that’s for only you to know. I won’t stop you if you’re planning to make a complaint with the rest of the hall.”

Jimin smiles but it wobbles when he looks into the elders pitying eyes. He can’t imagine what the man must think of him.

It’s quiet and Yoongi fights himself internally for what he’s about to say.

“The first time I ever heard you scream was at night, probably 3 years ago. I heard a lot of curses and yelling and I freaked out a little. I thought of calling the police but I was afraid I’d end up escalating whatever was happening, so I didn’t do anything.”

Jimin's eyes grow wide in horror. He stops picking and stares deeply at his neighbor, but the man doesn’t meet his eyes.

“I’d see you both and you both looked happy. The boys were in your arms and they looked fine. You looked fine. I’d secretly scan for bruises or marks but I never saw any.” The elder scratches the back of his head. Jimin can feel his eyes grow glossy again.

“I kept hearing yelling and cursing at night. Sometimes the baby would cry. One time I heard a thud against the wall and I was about to call in then but I could hear what you were saying vividly. You yelled at him for breaking the wall.”

Jimin remembers that day. He can’t remember what they had been fighting about, but he remembers how angry they were. His husband was so mad that he punched into the wall when Jimin was walking away. He would never hurt Jimin or the kids, he knew that, but his frustration was so great he couldn’t stop himself from channeling it into something.

Jimin glances at the finger painting Jungkook had once done that currently covers the hole in the wall behind Yoongi.

“I wouldn’t always hear what you were fighting about but sometimes I could make it out. I wasn’t actively trying to listen, but it was there. I contemplated whether I should get involved for too long until I heard him leaving. The boys were crying a lot probably.”

Jimins was really crying at this point. His hands shake from shock and fear but he doesn’t let his eyes leave his neighbor. 

Yoongi has heard it all, just like Jungkook. He had heard and knew what was happening and not once did he complain. He never acted different towards them even when he knew. Jimins never felt so disgusted in himself.

Finally, Yoongi looks up into Jimin's flooding eyes. He tentatively slides his hand to sit on top of Jimin’s shaking one.

“I apologize for snooping, and I probably should have told you sooner. I just didn’t want to ruin any progress you were making. You’re strong, I knew you were okay so I didn’t want to get in the way.”

Jimin welcomes the gentle squeeze from his hand. He tries to calm his breathing. He’s embarrassed, ashamed, disgusted in himself, but this man before him— this kind, considerate young man is treating him with so much care. Jimin doesn’t know what to feel. He wipes his tears and forces himself to relax while still holding his neighbor’s hand.

“Jimin...you’re a good dad.”

Jimin snorts wet and sad. He chuckles when he looks at his neighbors sad face.

“You are Jimin. You’re a good parent, anyone could see it.”

He shakes his head. “I’m not a good dad, Yoongi...Dads don’t yell like that in front of their kids.”

Yoongi tried to protest but fell short of words. “Dad’s don’t keep their kids from seeing their family. They don’t keep them locked up at home because they don’t have a means to take them anywhere else. Dads don’t break promises like I have. They don’t lie and pretend things are okay when they’re not.” 

Jimin feels his whole body trembling with anger and sorrow and self hatred all at once.

“All I ever wanted was for them to have a happy life,” he cried. “To be happy with a home and a family and to never see all the ugly things the world has. But I made them see. I dropped them right in front of an ugly black door. And you think that makes me a good dad?”

“You love them,” Yoongi interjects. “You care for them and teach them and love them so much Jimin I see it, anyone can see it.”

Jimin shakes his head in disbelief. Yoongi reaches for his other hand and holds it tight.

“I mean it Jimin. No one can do it like you. You made mistakes, you both did, and it’s hard for you I know. But they’re happy. Jungkook and Namjoon, they love you, I can see it. They’re humble because you’ve shown them reasons to love all the little things life brings them. They see the happy moments for what it’s worth because you taught them that, no one else.”

“There are no perfect parents, but to them you are. You’re a good father Jimin.I wouldn’t lie.”

He holds the younger a gaze until his tears have subsided. Jimin sniffles and giggles wryly at how embarrassed he is and that makes the elder smile.Their hands stay locked.

“I, uhm-,” Yoongi snorts through his breath, “this is probably bad timing but I already said before that I’m not good at this.”

Jimin watches him and Yoongi’s eyes turn much softer and hesitant.

“I’d like to take you out sometime,” he says quietly, “Not now! And only when you’re ready, if you want. You don’t have to answer me now, I’ll wait. But, I think you’re great and I’d really...like to get to know you more. And I think you deserve to be treated how you wish to be.” 

When he finishes Jimin is left in shock. He tenses. For the first time in a long time he is left perplexed. 

Someone likes him, someone wants to date him and be a part of his messy chaotic life. But he hesitates, because the first thing that pops into his head is not joy from the confession, but fear. He sits up straighter and recoils his hand slowly away from the other. That causes his face to fall a little.

“Uhm,” he starts, “I’m flattered. You’re very sweet, hyung, but there’s some things I should tell you first.”

Yoongi swallows and gives him his undivided attention.

“My kids, Jungkook and Namjoon, they’re everything to me. I’d swim across oceans and jump over mountains for them. It’s hard but I would never give it up. I’d do it over and over again if it meant I could have them.”

Yoongi blinks and Jimin gnaws on his lip in thought. 

“They’re the only thing I need. And even if- even if you were to leave....everyone could leave. Everyone could hate me. But I would never leave them. I’d die before anyone could take them away from me.”

The conviction in him shines brightly even if he doesn’t know it, but Yoongi feels it in his words and his gaze. He might have fallen a little more just from those sentences alone.

“I know we-...this isn’t serious. I don’t know what this is but I like you. I’d like to get to know you more. But these are my children. They’re first and they’ll always be first. We come together.”

Yoongi swallows and holds his hands together tightly. Jimin lets out a breath.

“I won’t be upset if you choose to bail out, you have every right to. I just needed you to know what you’re getting into before it goes any further.”

It’s quiet while Yoongi takes in the words, and Jimin thinks maybe he really will bail out. It hurts a bit—a lot— but Jimin understands. No one would want to be with a divorcée with two toddlers.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t clear enough before,” Yoongi speaks. Jimin remains expressionless, willing himself to not let his disappointment show.

“When I said I wanted to take you out,” his neighbor grins, “I meant you as a unit. Your kids are a part of you and I’d want to get to know them as much as I do to you. If you’d let me.”

Jimin feels so elated and he shows it in his burning cheeks and toothy smile. There’s understanding between them, and no sense of urgency. It feels warm and content between them. Like it was always meant to be.

The weekend is long and quiet as always when the kids are away. Jimin busies himself with chores and puts more hours into work when they’re away. It’s a distraction from the loneliness but at least he still gets paid for it.

He and Yoongi don’t go out, but they do talk a lot. Each night ended with them sharing a conversation across balconies with warm mugs of tea and coffee. The air is cold and bitter and the sky is dark but they don’t care. The warmth between them shines ever so brightly that the cold doesn’t bother them.

When Hyung-joon drops the kids back off on Monday, they set an appointment to meet with a lawyer to establish new custody rights. One where they’re each given full equal custody and a schedule that reflects it.

The boys are happy to be back with Jimin and they go back into normalcy as they always have. Surprisingly, they ask how their neighbor was while they were gone. His new presence made a bit of an impact on them.

Jimin asks them if he can invite Yoongi to have dinner with them, since he didn’t get to last time. They happily agree.

When Yoongi comes over, it’s as a friend. They joke and laugh and he plays with the boys while Jimin cooks a meal. 

It’s odd and strangely domestic, but Jimin doesn’t question it or try to fight it. He knows where Yoongi stands, and if he’s serious about wanting to date in the future, the least he can do is try to open his family up more to a friend he can trust.

Yoongi and Namjoon are out on the balcony watering the potted garden together. It’s mostly Yoongi doing the watering and Namjoon pointing at which plants he has to spray.

Jimin is cleaning off the table when he notices his eldest son playing somberly by himself inside. He’s pouting watching Yoongi and Namjoon through the glass door but pretends like he’s not paying attention. Jimin crawls up to him.

“What’s up, bun?” Jimin says playfully. He can see that his son is upset about something, so he approaches in a playful manner in order to get him to speak.

As soon as Jungkook meets his eyes, the boy bursts into quiet tears. Jimin's face falls and he cradles his son tightly and whispers sweet nothings to him. His heart breaks from confusion and fear of whatever gave his son such big hurtful emotions so quickly.

Jungkooks cries turn into sniffles quickly and he wipes them away, an attempt to seem big and strong.

“My big boy,” Jimin coos, wiping his tears. “What’s hurting you baby?”

“I miss a-appa,” he wails.

“Oh bunny, I know. You’ll see him next weekend again. And more days after that I promise.” He rocks the boy as he cries in his arms.

Eventually Jungkook's cries turn into hums, then silence all at once as they relish in each other’s embrace. Nothing hurts Jimin more that to see his babies hurt.

“Do you still love appa?”

Jungkook doesn’t meet his eyes when he asks. Probably afraid Jimin would get mad at the question. He never has and never would, since this isn’t the first time his eldest has asked such a question. Jimin would always avoid or steer the conversation away playfully in order to not answer. 

But he’s different now, Yoongi told him so. In order to be a better father, he has to be honest.

“Oh love,” he cradles the boy on his lap and lets him lay against him.

“I love your appa because he’s your father. He takes care of you and loves you and Joonie so much. If you love him, then I love him. I don’t hate your appa, Kookie. You understand?”

Jungkook nods with a pout. He kisses the top of his head. 

“But why don’t you go back together again?” Jimin thinks before he tries to answer.

“There’s different kinds of love, Jungkook...There’s little loves, like how you love your toys and colors. Then there’s big loves, like how you love Joonie and your dad and me, right?”

The boy nods again in understanding. This time he looks up to Jimin. His big, wet Bambi eyes make Jimin reluctant to continue with his speech, but he can’t keep himself from being honest.

“You’re appa and I don’t love each other like we used to, baby. We don’t have a big love anymore, it’s just a little one.”

Jungkook's eyes crumble and his pout grows at the words as a few tears fall over his cheeks once more. Jimin hastily wipes them away. 

“But that doesn’t change how much we love you. We love you both, and we’re always going to love you.”

They hug and Jungkook doesn’t push him away. He understands. It hurts him, but at least he knows. Jimin praises him for being so much stronger than he could ever be.

“I miss appa. I want him here with us all the time.”

“I know baby. I’m sorry. Appa and I messed up. We made mistakes and that’s why we can’t be together anymore.”

The little one sniffles but nods in understanding. Jimin runs fingers through his messy hair.

“We love you. Don’t forget that. It’s not your fault, it’s mine and appa’s fault. But we’re gonna take care of you both and love you like we always have. We’re your family even if we’re apart. We’re always gonna be a family. Do you understand?”

Jungkook nods again. They cuddle seared together in the quiet yellow living room of their home. Jimin lets out a long breath. That went a lot better than he expected.

“Do you love Yoongi-hyung then papa?”

The question makes his heart jump. He looks at his son in shock only to find him looking back expectantly.

“N-no baby, I don’t love Yoongi-hyung. He’s our friend.”

This makes his brows furrow in confusion.

“Why not?”

It makes Jimin want to laugh. He can’t believe he’s having this conversation with a four year old.

“Cause’ all my love is given to you and Namjoonie. I don’t have room to love more.”

Jungkook makes an ‘o’ shape with his mouth and Jimin giggles. He looks back to the balcony and his eyes turn soft.

Yoongi is lightly spraying water over Namjoon, making the baby giggle. They’re not looking inside the house and paying attention to anything but each other. They’re both smiling and laughing at each other and Jimin's heart swells. 

Yoongi talks to Namjoon, Jimin can’t hear what he says but he sees his lips move. And when he looks to Namjoon, he sees the boy's mouth move too. He talks back to Yoongi with his two-toothed smile. The sunset shines brightly between them.

“But maybe someday I could.” Jimin says aloud. “If Yoongi shows that he’s a good man, and if he loved us back, then maybe I could grow more love for him too.”

He looks back down to his son in his arms. “Would that be okay with you if I did?”

Jungkook thinks and watches his brother and Yoongi. Jimin waits patiently.

“It’s okay papa.”

Jimin smiles and pinches the boy’s cheeks making him giggle. “Thank you, Kookie.”

“I like Yoongi-hyung. He’s a good neighbor.” Jungkook comments.

Jimin laughs and looks back towards the rest of his family. “He is a good neighbor, isn’t he?”

For a long time, Jimins heart was full. He had no room for others to love besides his sons. The world was colorless without them.

Before, at night when he’d look at the stars, they’d shone a pale white in the black sky. And he was alone.

Now when he looks at the stars, there’s someone beside him looking up too, and oh how they shine for them and all the things they do.

And they are all yellow.