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Oikawa hated how everything reminded him of him.
He would look up into the sky and see his blue eyes.
His roommate asked him to buy some milk and he almost broke down thinking about how much he loved it.
His new teammates had invited him out for some ice cream, and he barely spoke throughout because they’d had ice cream on their first date.
But as much as Oikawa hated it, he loved it.
Because it felt like he was still with him, halfway across the globe.
They could still be under the same sky.
Milk still tasted the same.
And they had his favorite ice cream flavor here too.
Maybe they still had a chance, he’d think to himself and shake it off immediately after. There was no way he’d still want him.
“Let’s just not see each other again.”, were his last words to him.
He didn’t even want to see him, why would he want him?
His roommate turned out the light, and whispered goodnight to him, and that’s when Oikawa realized just how long he’d been lying in his bed.
But he had an excuse for once.
It’d been six months since he’d left Japan.
Six months since he’d vowed to leave Kageyama Tobio behind.
It’s was easy for him to go down the rabbit hole of Kageyama. He’d have a fleeting thought about him and a few hours later, he’d still be thinking about him.
Oikawa’s most recurring thought was if one thing had been different, would everything have been different? If he’d put in more effort, would they still be together? If he hadn’t left, they’d still have each other.
Sometimes, his imagination ran wild and he’d imagine Kageyama with someone else, he’d link his fingers with theirs, while looking away because he was too shy, or maybe he’d have saved their name as <3 in his phone, what if he took them on impromptu picnics on their anniversary? All this thinking only served to hurt him more.
Oikawa hadn’t deleted his contact yet; he hadn’t even changed the name. His fingers hovered above the Adorable BF (*￣3￣)╭,and he snickered softly at it.
He’d spent many nights like this, debating whether to contact him or not. It hadn’t been easy for him to get sleep because of how drastically different the time zones in Argentina and Japan were.
If he sent something now, he would see it, that is, if he had his phone on. Kageyama used to always forget to text him back, no matter how many times he berated him for it. He’d probably
changed by now; his hypothetical lover could have motivated him to keep it on.
Maybe he’d send a single word, just to test the waters out. If he didn’t respond, he’d back off. He’d stay true to his vow and forget about Kageyama Tobio.
But he persists and resists the temptation to do so. He throws the phone onto his bedside and wraps himself in his blankets.
If he hadn’t left, there’d be such a bright future for them.
However, he had left, and there was nothing he could do to change that.
But he couldn’t help but think that it would’ve been fun, if he would’ve been the one.