Archive of Our Own

“When you move

I can recall somethin' that's gone from me

When you move

Honey, I'm put in awe of somethin' so flawed and free”

-Hozier, Movement

“Plant your feet, take a stand

In the grand scheme, it's all just chance

No such thing as true love

It's all just luck, lucky love”

-Michael Seyer, Lucky Love

Jisung has done many stupid things throughout his life, including but not limited to joining his old school’s dance team because of the massive crush he used to harbour on its captain and rising prodigy Lee Jeno. Feelings aside, he had a talent for it but breaking both of his legs and missing more than a year worth of practice made his dream sink fast and hard to the ground. His moms made the hard decision of moving to the heart of the city so that Jisung could receive better treatment, even though it cost them a fortune and meant they had to sell their countryside house. Jisung never got to say goodbye to Jeno and that’s how his first one-sided love story came to an end.

The foolishness of his decision to walk back home barefoot didn’t measure up to the Lee Jeno fiasco at first glance, but taking into account the blaring sun, hovering over him and making the pavement feel like hot lava, it seemed to come in as a close second. It hurt with every step but Jisung is nothing if not stubborn, meaning the ground could have been covered with glass shards and he’d still walk through it to prove a little point. He could easily put his sandals back on but the heel strap on the left one had been torn off earlier for the third time this week alone, which made Jisung puff his cheeks in annoyance and refuse to wear them until they were fixed. 

Jisung is almost at his front door when he hears laughter echoing from the neighbouring house, the sound overjoyous, almost deafening in its volume. He tries to resist the urge to take a look at its source for a few seconds until he inevitably loses the internal battle and stops dead in his tracks. 

Not even the sun is as blinding as Lee Donghyuck when his mouth stretches wide, bearing perfect teeth, the gaps between them just big enough for the most pleasing of sounds to slip through.

Jisung is quick to forget about his burning feet in favour of drinking in the sight in front of him. Just beyond the white fence, rolling in the grass, are Donghyuck and some of his friends, whom Jisung doesn’t recognize or doesn’t care to do so. He’s too busy staring unabashedly, eyes glued to brown locks and glistening skin like a moth to a flame.

Everything about Donghyuck is big and bold. He is the type of person you can’t help but notice, the stranger you encounter on the subway that one time and remember fondly every once in a while for the rest of your life. Jisung feels his chest expand, breathing in the dense summer air and he is once again reminded that this Donghyuck is his favourite. Scraped knees, muddy clothes, hair damp and sticking to his forehead — he looks boyish, young. It makes Jisung ache.

Donghyuck always awakens in him one of two things: high elation or bone deep regret; the former is born from the greedy way in which Jisung always wants to see him happy, the later from desire to be the fuel for Donghyuck’s happiness. Jisung longs to be a part of his life, desperately so.

The hot gusts of wind and the sight of green stains on Donghyuck’s white shirt make Jisung dizzy. They drag him back to the time when he first moved to the city, to the moment when he first met the other.

Three summers ago Jisung was a scrawny kid, head shorter, limping noticeably and barely able to move unless using his crutches. He was also absolutely not used to the noise of the big city. Donghyuck was a bastard child back then, hair shaggy from cutting it himself, nails bitten to the core. He was loud about everything. Despite it all there was something about him that made Jisung want to take a closer look, to see past his short temper and clear agitation towards the world. 

Watching him from the sides made Jisung realize a few things. The first one being that picking up soccer was a blessing for Donghyuck. It served as an outlet for all of his pent up energy. Shortly after it became clear that Donghyuck wasn’t just good at the sport, no, he took to it like a duck to water. In just two years time he became a captain of the school’s team and came closer than anyone before him in making it to Nationals. His confidence grew but now he had something to back it up with, something which was entirely his, which no one could take from him. It made people pay attention to him for all the right reasons, it made Jisung pay attention.

The second realization came abruptly, without a warning. Once Donghyuck stopped cutting his hair with kitchen scissors Jisung was forced to see his face clearly for the first time since he had moved. And he was beautiful. Ambitious, stubborn, reeking of sweat and confidence and he was beautiful.

Donghyuck gets off the ground, dusting off his clothes from the mud and grass strands. The movement snaps Jisung out of his haze, making him exhale noisily. Suddenly he feels like an intruder, an unwanted presence trying to breach the walls of Donghyuck’s world, searching for a place to settle when there is none. Jisung doesn’t realize that his feet are no longer burning, too busy trying to get away from the fence before anyone notices him. There’s a stranger feeling of something hovering over him, shielding him from the sun. When he turns around he sees nothing.

Jisung walks away in a hurry, something akin to golden flecks falling from his shoulders onto the ground, leaving behind traces of dust in the air, a trail. Donghyuck catches sight of him just as he round the corner and enters his house. He smiles fondly.

🧚

Jisung slams the door behind himself and slowly sinks into the ground, burying his face in his hands. He feels feverish. His feet are suddenly ice cold but there’s a warmth that streams from his insides, one which grows and spreads at an alarming pace. It bounces playfully against his ribcage, nibbles at his bones until they disintegrate, until there’s a big enough gap for it to slip through. Jisung doesn’t let it escape, however. It would be too embarrassing, absolutely mortifying to come face to face with his own feelings for Donghyuck. It’s hard to keep them inside, especially when it's summer and he’s forced to burn both from the outside and from the inside but at some point he’d grown desensitized, not entirely, but enough for it to be bearable.

Once he has collected himself Jisung makes his way to his room upstairs, greeting his moms who are making dinner on the way there. The window is still wide open, the warm breeze slipping through, lifting up the curtains, making them dance shyly. Jisung takes a peek through it and sighs softly when he sees Donghyuck laying on the grass, hand over his eyes, chest rising up and down slowly as he catches his breath. 

He blinks slowly, jumping back in surprise when he opens his eyes. Despite the window being open, suddenly, there appears to be a square shaped barrier in place of the glass. He turns around and notices the same blueish matter at the entrance of the room. It looks almost alive, moving fluidly like sea waves, making the sight beyond it look smudged, unperceivable. Jisung freezes, brain trying and failing to process what is happening. The barrier isolates him from the outside completely, it drowns out all noises, complete silence reigning over the room. A beam of sweat rolls down Jisung’s forehead. 

He’s not alone.

There is no one in the room besides him but it feels like he’s not by himself. Much like earlier, when he was standing outside of Donghyuck’s backyard, it feels like something or rather someone is hovering over him ominously. Jisung, however, is too frightened to move, let alone turn around to see. His muscles are tense, limbs closing in on his torso on instinct, readying itself for whatever is going to get thrown at him. 

The anticipation crawls up his spine only to slide back down like an ice cube to his legs, making them shake uncontrollably. The sinister presence seems to have left his side because his shoulders suddenly feel a little lighter.

A loud crackle breaks the silence, followed by the sound of thunder. Jisung feels his throat running dry when the space right in front of him starts twisting. It shrinks, then expands, it liquifies and moves as though someone is molding it with their hands. There’s a spark which grows from a small speck to the size of a light bulb, until it suddenly explodes, covering everything in pure blinding whiteness. Jisung falls back from the sudden intensity of the light, which robs him of his vision momentarily.

The light dies down eventually. It leaves behind two figures that float a short distance above the ground. Jisung rubs his eyes, even twists the skin of his forearm when the sight doesn’t change, because this is either a very realistic dream or a quite cruel hallucination. The two silhouettes are vague, the exact opposite of a shadow; both a warm yellow, almost white colour. They look like night sky bodies with the way they’re glowing softly and consistently. Jisung watches in bewilderment as they start shifting their size and form. The radiance they emit subdues and gives way to emerging facial features. The vague outline of their bodies becomes more apparent, shaping out into human-like limbs.

When the glow dies down almost entirely Jisung gets a closer look at their faces, which awaken a mix of emotions inside him. They’re not human, that much he can gather just from the way their feet are disconnected from the floor. Despite the fact that they appear normal there’s something off about them. Jisung should be terrified, not enamored by their physical appearance, but there’s something about the soft features and the layer of shimmer that surrounds them, which calms him down, evens out his breathing until it no longer feels like his heart is going to come out of his chest.

If Jisung had to make a comparison, he’d say they’re a step above being museum statues. Their frames are disproportionate compared to his in the sense that they’re slightly bigger than any human could ever grow but still not big enough for it to be noticeable unless you pay close attention. Their limbs hang long and slender, appearing almost boneless due to the weird positions that they’re placed in. Both of them look very androgynous, body and face wise, Jisung can’t quite tell what they are just from looking.

Human features aside there are definitely an extra pair of limbs coming out of their backs. Upon closer look Jisung can only compare them to a dragonfly’s wings — clear, almost transparent, fluttering swiftly as golden dust falls from them by the second.

“Park Jisung.” speaks the one with obnoxiously green hair, their voice loud and clear. For some reason Jisung feels like he’s the only one who can hear it. He has no time to ask how they know his name before they continue talking.

”My name is Mark and this, ” they gesture towards the other figure, distinguishable by the neon pink, which seems to dominate both their hair choice and almost the entirety of their outfit.”, is Jaemin. Starting today we are going to be your fairy godparents, which essentially means that we’re obliged to make all of your wishes come true.” 

Mark’s voice sounds impossibly friendly and trustworthy despite the formal way in which they’re speaking. The sound of it makes it possible for Jisung to ignore the absurdity of the situation. He stares at them awkwardly for a little while, which doesn’t seem to phase them all that much. When the cogs in his brain start working again the reality of everything sinks onto him like a tidal wave, setting him up in full on panic mode. 

“I am dead, aren’t I?” deadpans Jisung, face suddenly going pale white. “This can’t be real, fuck. I still have to graduate high school and go to college and I haven’t even tried talking to Donghyuck, yet. Oh my god- ” rambles Jisung, his words slurring together and becoming inaudible the longer he goes on for. Just as he’s about to pass out from lack of oxygen, Jaemin snaps their fingers and the boy's mouth seals closed.

“Hey, listen to us.” begins Jaemin, voice soft and careful like they’re speaking to a crying child. “You’re very much alive still and I can assure you, you won’t be passing away any time soon. This is real, Jisung.” to emphasize their point, Jaemin moves their hand in a circle, manifesting a wand-like stick out of thin air. ”I am going to give you back your voice and then we’ll explain everything. Does that sound okay?” 

Jisung nods weakly and watches with intent as the tip of Jaemin’s wand lights up. It feels like someone is removing a piece of tape from his mouth but without the pain, which comes as an aftermath. Jisung opens his mouth ready to say something but it falls closed shortly after. Instead of a stream of incoherent questions and exclamations he leaves the stage open for Mark and Jaemin.

“As you can tell, we’re not from your dimension.” says Mark. Jisung nods curtly.

“Us fairies exist outside of what you humans call the space-time continuum, which, to put it simply, means that no one can find us unless we want to be found.” Mark goes on to briefly explain the whereabouts of the Fairy World and how since time doesn’t pass there, all creatures of their kind are in a sense immortal.

“That doesn’t mean our existence can’t ever come to an end, though.” intervenes Jaemin. “Fairies are born because people not only believe in us but also unknowingly seek our help or guidance. When a human is under great pressure, be it physical or psychological, their subconsciousness sends waves of distress towards our world, thus alerting us that magical assistance is needed. You sought us out, Park Jisung. So what exactly do you wish for?” 

Jaemin’s explanation both makes perfect sense, yet only manages to raise more questions and confusion. Jisung stays quiet for a while, willing his thoughts away for the time being, an inner desire to live in the moment for once surging through his veins. It’s reckless, maybe even dangerous to trust the two creatures who are claiming to be his “fairy odd parents” but there’s something about their appearance, or maybe the gentleness of their voices, which makes him want to believe everything they're saying.

Jisung looks through the window, the blueish barrier now gone, only to catch sight of Donghyuck entering his house through the back door. The sun is setting down. At that moment Jisung realizes that maybe, just maybe, he’ll be able to gather the courage to talk to Donghyuck this year. And maybe someone will be there to help him through it all.

🧚

Mark and Jaemin watch patiently as Jisung paces around the room, his feet clearly having a mind of their own as they take him into circles. Last night he had seemed perfectly fine with believing their words but when morning came and he saw the two levitating over him, Jisung had proceeded to fall quite ungracefully from his bed and onto the wooden floor, the plunge accompanied by a loud shriek. Jisung’s moms appeared at the door in record time with worried faces and he had to reassure them continuously that he is indeed fine and that, no, he didn’t break any limbs of importance. 

“So I make a wish,” begins Jisung after what feels like hours of mindlessly strolling in his own bedroom.” And you guys bibbidi bobbidi boo it to me? How does that even work?”

“Well, in the most simple of terms, yes.” nods Mark. 

“Magic is everywhere around you.” begins to explain Jaemin.” Statistically speaking more than fifty percent of all human beings have had some sort of encounter with magic or magical creatures in their early life. However, since they’re not predisposed to it, they’re likely to forget it ever happened or simply not believe it and move on.

There’s also the fact that humans are obsessed with the materialistic value of everything and will surely attempt to capitalize off of magic if it was a known source of power. That’s why we don’t hide it but we don’t necessarily expose ourselves either. Magic is for those who want to believe there is something beyond what is universally established as facts and norms. This belief alongside Nature, whose energy we’re allowed to borrow, are the sole sources of our power and the reason we’re able to grant wishes.” 

Jisung can tell just by the way they’re speaking that he’s not the first human they’ve willingly served and definitely won’t be the last. There’s experience, which shines through their words, a deeper understanding of both the human and the Fairy World.  Under the bizarre appearance there is sincerity, which makes Jisung want to trust them, allow them to be a part of his life. 

Once Jisung focuses more on Jaemin’s explanation he can almost see it taking the shape of a key, which unlocks memories buried deep inside his subconsciousness. Little fragments of his childhood reammerge, ones which paired with his newfound knowledge of fairies seem a little too magical to be attributed solely to his then rich imagination. It feels almost comforting, finding out that there exist creatures who possess so much power and yet chose not to use it against humans but in their favour.

“I can ask for anything?” Jisung still feels unsure and like he’d be taking advantage of Mark and Jaemin’s kindness but they seem so insistent that this is in fact their purpose that he feels tempted.

“In theory, yes. To maintain balance in Nature, however, there are rules, which we must strictly abide by. Balance as you’ve probably heard a million times before is essential in everything, especially magic.” Mark’s wand lights up at the tip and in front of them appears a book with a well preserved spine and crinkled pages. It looks loved and taken care of. “To give you an example — we cannot make a person fall in love with you because that violates their right of choice and the ability to give consent. 

Once upon a time the rules used to be very strict but they’ve evolved drastically especially this past century, so most minor things have been scratched out. Currently only things, which violate the natural order of things or come into dispute with a person’s inherent right of existence, are strictly forbidden.” Mark closes the book. Jisung watches in amazement as it disintegrates into thin air, leaving behind only golden dust, which too disappears once it touches the ground.

“That’s about it. Everything else you’ll learn over the course of our companionship.” Mark and Jaemins’ smiles, though unnaturally big, always emit such warmness that it feels like they can make the ice inside anyone melt. “ So, what do you say? Is there any wish of yours we can make a reality today?”

“Uhhh.. can I get the boxsets of the entire Naruto manga series?” Jisung sounds unsure in his words, but before he can even finish his sentence there’s a puff of smoke at his feet. It slowly dissolves into the air to reveal three colourful boxes underneath. 

Jisung looks startled for all of three seconds before a wide smile stretches on his face, eyes almost growing twice in size as he examines the boxes to make sure they’re actually real.

“Oh my god.” he looks up at Mark and Jaemin and they can swear there are actual stars in the boy’s eyes. It’s amusing in a way, how tall he looks, yet how soft and timid he is. Jisung seems to be able to experience happiness in a way they’ve only seen kids do. “Oh my god, I’ve been saving up for these for so long, fuck. Thank you.”

“Anything else?” offers Jaemin. 

Jisung scratches his nape but he can’t seem to come up with anything else on the spot so he shakes his head no. 

“I want to ask something though. Is this, well, is this how you really look like?” His voice is quiet as he gestures shyly at his own face and body to show exactly what he’s asking them.

“Well, yes and no. It’s a bit complicated to explain?” Mark looks at Jaemin for assistance, who is snickering at their partner’s inability to explain certain things even though they’ve gone through the process with multiple other humans. 

“In order to not scare or confuse people we alter our appearance, yes. But it’s in a sense impossible for us to truly imitate what a human looks like. That's why we appear surreal and disproportionate once you take a closer look.

In reality our ‘bodies’ if you can even call them that consist of innumerable particles of light that are drawn to each other and create a concentrated mass. That mass floats freely for a while and is then captured by the already existing fairies, which bury it underground and leave it until it matures and reemerges on its own. It’s like the metamorphosis of some Earth insects if we had to make a somewhat accurate comparison. 

Once we’re ‘born’ we don’t really have a sex, nor do we possess any inherent understanding of what gender is, that’s why we don’t feel the need to be defined by it. Our outward appearance is simply an amalgamation of all human features we find appealing and which we decide we want to incorporate when creating a body to wear. Does that make sense?” 

Jisung nods enthusiastically, eyes tracing over their bodies and faces. It’s comical in a way how they both manage to stand out so much just with their outward appearance. It clashes completely with the formal way of speaking and seemingly calm and quiet demeanour. Jaemin’s hair is the most obnoxious shade of neon pink Jisung has seen in his seventeen years of existence, and their choice of clothing appears to be inspired by Harajuku street fashion. Mark on the other hand looks like a green highlighter dressed like a history teacher who has a sense of style and knows how to pair and layer clothes. They’re an odd couple but somehow they fit. Jisung had noticed the subtle way in which their bodies gravitate towards one another, the lingering looks and loving touches. It’s sweet.

His thoughts as always lead him back to Donghyuck. Jisung thinks about the tacky design of the school’s soccer uniform, which looks good on him only, the high socks stretching over his build calves, the worn out boots. He smiles. 

Jisung wonders how his all black fits and chipped nail polish would look next to Donghyuck’s sweatpants and jerseys. He’s suddenly overcome with the staggering need to be as close to Donghyuck as possible, in any shape or form. Maybe he could ask Mark and Jaemin to turn him into a bird, a nightingale so he’d be able to wake Donghyuck up with the rich sound of his song. He could wish to be the sun, always illuminating Donghyuck; or the gentle breeze that ruffles through his soft hair on a windy day. Maybe no closeness will ever be enough.

🧚

“Stop squirming.” says Jaemin, wand positioned right over Jisung’s left ear. “Jisung, I swear to God, don’t move or I might accidentally pierce your neck. I promise it’s not going to hurt.” their words do little to calm Jisung, who looks like he’s on the verge of passing out.

In retrospect Jisung was the one who suggested it but no matter how much he tries to psyche himself up it still feels like his nerves are on the verge of snapping. He’d wanted to get his lobes done since ninth grade but low pain tolerance coupled with his infamous scaredy-cat nature made him postpone it. A week turned into a month and suddenly Jisung was on the verge of entering grade eleven, two years older but none the braver. With Mark and Jaemin’s sudden arrival last month Jisung had thought himself finally ready to get it done with, their promise of a painless procedure temping him further. Now, however, sitting on his bed, a giant glowing wand millimetres away from his ear, he was starting to freak out again. The rational part of Jisung was more than aware that Jaemin wouldn’t lie to him, meaning that if they said he wouldn’t feel a thing they were telling the truth. The other, much bigger part of him, however, was screaming in protest and trashing from side to side like a child refusing to eat their vegetables.

He is on the verge of calling it quits when a hand envelopes his tightly, squeezing it in reassurance. Jisung looked up to see Mark sitting next to him, an easy smile on their face.

“We can do it another time, you know that right?” 

Jisung stares dumbly at Mark, eyes big and round, but he is evidently starting to calm down. There is something about the fairy, which makes him ease up, their presence and especially their touch acting almost like a tranquilizer. Jisung wonders if their physical appearance is also a part of the job description; beautiful and gentle things make you want to cherish them after all, be kinder both to them and to the world. 

That’s how Mark and Jaemin made him feel at least. Especially Mark, who with their earnest smile, which makes the apples of their cheeks all the more prominent and eyes shining like tiny stars reminds him of play dates at the park down the street and of the tales as old as time, which his mothers used to read to him every night before bed. Mark is comfort. Their warm hand is comfort, their kind eyes are comfort, everything about them pushes Jisung to be a bit braver.

“No, it’s fine, just ummm, is it okay if you continue..holding my hand?” Mark makes him want to be braver but they don’t necessarily ease the embarrassment, which comes from seeking solace in another.

“Of course.” 

Jisung looks up at Jaemin, giving an affirming nod. There’s a dull spark igniting the tip of Jaemin’s wand, which grows bigger the closer it gets to his ear. Jisung squeezes his eyes shut tightly, clutching Mark’s hand firmly. A zap kind of noise, reminiscent of a surge of electricity, sounds through the room.

Jisung opens his eyes cautiously, even though he feels no difference. Before he can get up Mark moves their fingers in a circle and summons a small mirror. Jisung gasps a little when he sees the small holes, reaching a hand to touch them. When he’s positive that they’re indeed there a smile spreads wide on his face, lips stretching so far that even his gums become visible.

“Thank you, guys.” 

It was a simple wish admittedly, requiring almost no fairy dust to be fulfilled and yet for Jisung it seems more than enough. 

Mark and Jaemin were surprised when they first met Jisung. Being used to granting huge scale and extravagant wishes meant that Jisung’s inability to request anything bigger than a nintendo switch came as quite the surprise to the two fairies. It was odd in their eyes for someone to have this much power at their disposal, yet not make any real use of it.

Instead of exhausting their magic Jisung seems way more interested in learning about the Fairy World. He soaks up the information like a sponge, always eager to ask them about how certain things function, about traditions, relations between individuals; the list is never ending.

“All that’s left is picking earrings.” hums Jisung, eyes glued to the mirror still, admiring Jaemin’s handiwork. ”Do you wanna go to the mall with me?” 

“We can go to the one in the Fairy World?” suggests Jaemin. “I heard that some newer models have managed to incorporate particles of actual black holes into their designs and others have even succeeded in containing entire nebulas!” their words turn Jisungs eyes huge, his mouth hanging open. 

Despite the fact that Jaemin and Mark have been serving as Jisung’s fairy oddparents for a month now, they still manage to amaze the boy almost daily, making him constantly reassess his prior knowledge of the universe. Most of the time Jisung takes his time to process everything, carefully piecing together a map of known facts and truths by fitting in the new pieces of information unceremoniously dumped onto him by the fairies; others he needs visual confirmation before he’s willing to believe it.

Mark and Jaemin have been together for eons, have served humans of all ages and backgrounds and yet they’ve never gotten so attached to one this quickly. They can’t quite figure out why but there’s something about Jisung, which makes them want to take care of him, guide him through life and beyond. He can be naïve but he’s not foolish, his inability to communicate his feelings quite right would make anyone else appear rude, condescending but when it comes to him it manifests in kindness, compassion. There’s something inside Jisung be it fear or extreme case of caution, which compels him to be understanding of everything living and breathing, to be considerate of everyone’s existence and needs. Perhaps it’s a weakness to desire so little for yourself and so much for everyone else but Jisung walks and talks like it is his biggest trump card, the deadliest weapon.

The only time they’ve seen selfishness shine in his eyes is when they pass by the neighbours house. When Jisung stops unwillingly and stares just a little bit more than what is considered appropriate at the boy called Donghyuck. Jisung doesn’t talk about it and in return they don’t ask. In the little time they’ve been together they’ve learned when Jisung needs a push and when it’s better to let him process his feelings on his own. They’re more than willing to wait until Jisung is ready to lay out his heart in front of them.

“Hold on tight.” advices Jaemin as the three of them gather in the middle of Jisung’s room, preparing to teleport.

Magic, unbeknown to most, is a very precise practice, meaning that the smallest of disturbances can be hazardous. It’s in no way life threatening nor is it irreversible most of the time but landing on hard concrete instead of on a bed can be quite the pest. Due to Jisung’s excitement and sporadic knee shaking they’ve touched down on unfamiliar ground while teleporting more than once. Thankfully all of the instances have been nonthreatening and relatively close to their original destination.

Jisung stands as close to both of them as possible, closing his eyes so he doesn’t throw up at the feeling of his body decomposing only to reappear in a different spot. While teleporting is a practical and precise way of travelling long distances, the void, which they enter in order to arrive at their desired location, is a very disorienting place.

The voids are segments of space, which technically do not exist, in the sense that time doesn’t pass there. While being inside one doesn’t affect the outside world in any way, the process of crossing from one end to the other can feel tedious depending on the person. Space doesn’t function the same way there either. It’s nothingness, yet every colour manages to shine through it. Everything is bigger and brighter, the mess it creates difficult to look at unless you’re used to it. Jisung had quickly found out that staring directly at the chaos of overexposed blobs of colours and the way they moved in circles made him lightheaded and nauseous; and while Mark and Jaemin could easily poof away the vomit off of their clothes they had kindly asked him to close his eyes when they travelled through one in the future.

It was painstaking at first but Jisung quickly learned that with time the process of teleporting became far less troublesome and didn’t feel like it took days when in reality no time had passed at all. Jisung was still too afraid of travelling with his eyes open but he’d gathered the courage to peek shortly a few times.

After a soundy zap from Mark’s and Jaemin’s wands, Jisung feels the ground under his feet again and is no longer afraid of opening his eyes fully.

No matter how many times they visit the fairy world Jisung is always overwhelmed by the sheer vastness and eerines of it. The Fairy World isn’t a globe like Earth, it’s shape is reminiscent of a plate — flat, which made the bodies in the night sky far more visible due to the lack of atmosphere. It is a grand sight, overwhelmingly beautiful and fascinating to look at. There is no day and night time, the sky always an endless blackness dotted with millions of stars, planets and quasars. The Fairy World functions on organic light, which doesn’t pollute the atmosphere, making the beautiful sight over them a permanent one. No matter when you look up your eyes are always met with space, space and even more space. Much like love — you never get used to it.

Jisung feels a hand on his shoulder, which brings him back down.

“It’s this way.” motions Jaemin, their voice sounding equal parts as excited as Jisung was upon leaving if not more.

The three of them make it to the shop in less than five minutes, the walk there consisting of Jaemin and Jisung discussing what size earrings would fit his face shape while Mark stares at them fondly and listens to the joyous chatter. The boutique looking store they enter is gigantic in size like everything else is in the Fairy World. Jisung had found it odd at first but he quickly figured a human sized place wouldn’t exactly be fit for someone of Jaemin and Mark’s height. There is also the space their wings take up so unless they want to cause absolute havoc everything needs to be as spacious as possible.

Mark and Jaemin watch as Jisung tries on different models, helping him out when the shelf is too high for him to reach. Jisung’s genuine happiness is contagious, both of them had long figured that out. Something about his shy smiles and the way in which he finds joy in the most mundane of tasks makes him shine. It is impossible to be around him and not feel lighter, bigger, brighter. 

After some rummaging Jisung settles on a pair, which according to the tag are made using minuscule fragments of the constellation Corona Borealis , each one tracing the shape of his ear elegantly, making him look like a little divinity.

On the way out Mark feels a big hand wrapping around theirs, a smile growing on their face when they turn around and see Jisung studying their fingers curiously.

“Jaemin has the same one.” Jisung speaks out quietly, eyes locked on the thin band around Mark’s ring finger. Mark feels themself flushing. It’s been millennias since the day Jaemin suggested they get bonded but it feels like less, it feels like it was just yesterday. 

“Yeah.” Mark smiles shyly. “It’s not a common practice here in the Fairy World to exchange rings but me and Jaemin have always liked that human tradition of yours.

Our ‘marriage’ is nothing like yours, of course, because when we bond we do it for life. Mine and Jaemin’s souls are quite literally inseparable, the only way to break the link we have is for us to cease to exist entirely.” 

“Oh.” Mark’s confession feels heavy, like a hammer coming down on him, leveling him out with the ground. It’s not an unwelcome feeling, however, as it lets Jisung rearrange the parts of his body, which manage to survive the impact, in an entirely different way. It helps him dig out and put back bits and pieces he hadn’t known existed prior to this. 

“Jaemin makes you happy.” concludes Jisung. It’s such a simple observation, something so plain and evident. Under Mark’s and Jaemin’s bickering, under the teasing way in which they push each other there is love. It’s one, which can’t be described or labeled because it doesn’t need an explanation or a reason to exist, it simply does. It makes Jisung think of Donghyuck. He imagines a world in which he’s a little braver, where he makes Donghyuck happy the way Jaemin does Mark. 

“They do.” whispers Mark. ”We should get going. Night has already fallen back on Earth.”

Jaemin finds them shortly after, a small bag in their hand, which they hand over to Jisung with a kind smile. Jisung closes his eyes again, preparing for the poofing sound, which will take him back to his room. Summer is coming to an end and he has a lot of thinking to do before he steps foot at school again. 

It’s Donghyuck’s last year, he thinks with a heavy heart.

“Jisung?” a voice calls out to him, it’s a familiar one. That can’t be right. 

He knows Donghyuck’s voice but even his mind can’t possibly conjure an exact replica like that.

There’s ground under his feet, which means they have landed on Earth so what is Donghyuck doing in his house? Jisung opens his eyes ready to ask him just that only to freeze. It’s not Donghyuck who’s in his house it’s him who is in Donghyuck’s backyard. Once he gets a grip of his surroundings Jisung decides he’s not talking to Jaemin and Mark for the next week if he manages to get out of this mess they’ve brewed without losing his dignity.

Donghyuck is staring at him, a worried look painted on his face and if he could Jisung would dig a hole into the ground and jump face first. Being caught sneaking into his neighbours house, though technically it was his fairy godparents who had accidentally landed him there, not that anyone would believe him if he were to use that as an excuse, isn’t even the most mortifying part of the whole ordeal. It is the fact that not only does Lee Donghyuck know his name, he is also somehow able to recognize Jisung even though it is the middle of the night and there is hardly any light that could illuminate his face and give away his identity. 

“Umm, hi.” answers Jisung awkwardly, finally putting an end to the pregnant silence hanging over them. 

“Did you need anything?” surprisingly Donghyuck doesn’t sound mad or even disturbed, there is amusement laced in his words.

“No, sorry, I just.. wrong house? Yeah.” Jisung is sweating bullets, eyes darting all over, looking for a way to get the hell out as fast as possible. When he catches sight of the fence door, he gestures towards it stiffly as he takes slow steps in its direction. He feels like a child caught doing something they shouldn’t be, like a prey, like a rabbit. If he’s not careful he’ll get captured for good. Paranoia is ugly but it’s also a sign that he still possesses survival instincts. 

“Next time use the front door.” says Donghyuck. ”Good night, Park Jisung.” his words as he enters the house sound teasing but there’s an ounce of honesty hidden beneath. They penetrate directly through Jisung’s frenzied mind, leaving behind a clear cut, big enough for the adrenaline to evaporate out of.

Jisung stares at the spot Donghyuck used to occupy for a while, trying to process the situation. The crickets are loud, but nothing echoes as soundly as Donghyuck’s words, which play on repeat inside Jisung’s head. When he finally enters his own room he throws himself onto the bed and falls unconscious instantly.

🧚

“Jisung, we need to get you back home soon. School starts tomorrow, remember?” 

Mark’s voice echoes loud and clear through the open valley, the sound of it carrying far and high, like the call of a God who’s making their presence known. Once it dies down completely, utter silence rules over the huge chunk of land yet again. The animals in the area take the calculated risk of moving right after being quieted by such a powerful voice and think it appropriate. The screeches of half birds-half lizards break the stillness, their boldness acting like a catalyst for the awakening of all other creatures who had fallen deaf under the weight of an entity mightier than all of them combined.

The echo of Mark’s voice vibrates powerfully, it manages to penetrate even through the lake where Jisung had sunk hours ago. The sound, though muffled, reaches Jisung, who is laying motionless onto the very bottom, surrounded by cool and clear water from all sides. When he had wished to be able to breath under water, Jisung hadn’t thought it’d be so quiet down there. He didn’t hate it, quite the opposite — he relished in it. It gave him room to think.

At first it was a way to cool down because even though summer vacation was coming to an end the weather wasn’t getting any less hot. The sun was still huge and angry, peeling the skin off of every living creature layer by layer and burning the meat underneath. Sinking into the abyss had been a small blessing, his very own sanctuary. 

Down there he can stare mindlessly at the schools of weird shaped fishes and passing by currents of light for hours. It makes the dull ache in his shoulder blades dilute, the slight twinge just under his ribs disappear. It gives Jisung room to think about the future and the fact that Donghyuck will be graduating soon. His soccer skills will surely get him a scholarship for a good university, he’ll move to an even bigger city or maybe a different country. He’ll get made into a star, one which will shine with as much intensity as a supernova. Donghyuck was always meant to take the world by a storm after all.

Jisung sighs, his breath turning into millions of air bubbles, which climb up to the top of the river and burst open once they reach the surface. He pushes his body off the bottom with some difficulty but inevitably swims up alongside the bubbles. 

Once his head emerges from the water he inhales deeply and feels the gills on the side of his neck and on his ribs closing up until they disappear entirely. His eyes take a few seconds to adjust but when they do he’s met with a familiar sight. Mark and Jaemin are sitting a few meters away from the lake, their wings fluttering lightly; it almost looks like morning dew is rolling down their surface and falling onto the blanket they’re sitting on. The two are eating bite sized sandwiches, which Mark made this morning, and sliced pieces of fruit. Jisung is unfamiliar with the latter since they bought them from the Fairy Market, not from Earth. 

Jisung gets out of the water, drying his body quickly and putting on a shirt before he joins his godparents. He lets them feed him the mysterious fruits, as well as some dried herbs, which they claim to help with anxiety and getting rid of a person’s negative thoughts thus cleansing the mind and the body. They don’t really taste like anything but Jisung soon feels his shoulders slumping and back straightening on its own. 

“Do we have to go?” pleads Jisung, cheeks full from the food he’s trying to chew on. ”We'll miss the night spirits and this month’s meteor shower. They’ll both be gone by tomorrow.” his pout breaks Jaemin almost instantly, their hand reaching out to ruffle Jisung’s drying up hair.

Mark, though harder to persuade into giving in to Jisung’s whims, is not unbreakable. They may be the voice of reason between the three of them but even they’re not immune to Jisung’s natural charm. They seem on the verge of breaking under Jisung’s pleading eyes when suddenly they sober up and shake their head no. 

“Sung, we have to. We’ll come back some other time, I promise.” 

Jisung’s sighs in disappointment. Still he closes his eyes and allows Jaemin and Mark to teleport him back. They land on the beach, right behind a mass of rocks so no one would be able to see their sudden appearance. The sun is setting when Jisung looks up. The sky is a rich orange colour, purple creeping at the very ends. The walk home is short and uneventful. Jisung’s steps are accompanied by Jaemin and Mark’s paws. The two of them tend to transform into animals in order to blend in when they accompany him outside, cats being the most common shape they take. Jisung would argue it’s counterproductive since they never alter the colour of their hair, which means the fur or feathers of their animal forms are always pink and green. It makes them stand out like a sore thumb instead of having them fit in seamlessly.

Soon the three reach Jisung’s neighbourhood. The ground is hard under Jisung’s feet, who gets distracted by the sight of ants marching in line close to the grass terrain. With his eyes casted down he doesn’t see a ball coming his way. It collides with his chest painfully, the intensity of the impact almost knocking him down on his ass. Before he can curse loudly he sees a familiar figure jumping over the fence and running up to him.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?” Donghyuck wears a genuinely apologetic look on his face, eyes skimming over Jisung’s body to make sure he didn’t inflict serious damage, even accidentally, on his neighbour. Jisung recovers from the hit almost instantly when he feels a hand running over his back soothingly. Donghyuck’s touch feels like live wire, like touching a boiling kettle. Jisung doesn’t want to pull away even if it burns him alive.

“I’m fine.” he mumbles quietly, eyes fixed on Donghyuck’s sweaty face and the scar on his brow where no hair grows. Donghyuck seems to catch on Jisung’s blatant staring and gives him an amused smile.

“I’m sorry, again. Do you want me to get some ice for you?”

“I live next door.”

“I know.” Donghyuck seems to find hilarity in Jisung’s flushed cheeks and his struggling to piece together sentences when faced with Donghyuck’s bold approach and sunny disposition. After Jisung opens and closes his mouth a few times without any words leaving it Donghyuck finally decides to go easy on him. “Go, we both have an early start tomorrow. When you think of a way I can make it up to you, shout through the window. Or find me at school. Either works for me.” 

Donghyuck pats his back one last time before he gathers the ball that hit Jisung and goes back over the fence, shouting something at whoever he’s playing with. Jisung burns alive for a few seconds. When the place Donghyuck had touched cools down, he walks back to his own house. 

Dinner with his moms goes by quickly. They ask him about his day and let him finish his food in silence when it becomes apparent that he is too spaced out to answer any of their questions properly. After washing the dishes Jisung goes up to his room, where he collapses on the bed.

“How did you know you were ready to spend forever with each other?” asks Jisung quietly. “Did you love someone else before you loved each other?” he can almost hear the way both of their faces melt into doppy smiles.

“Sleep, Jisung. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

🧚

Morning comes and it’s kind to Jisung for a change. He makes a mental note to thank Mark for forcing him to go to bed early. Jisung dresses quickly, swings a backpack over his shoulder and skips down the stairs to have breakfast. His moms offer to drive him to school but knowing their busy schedule he refuses. Instead he  makes them promise to have a movie night during the weekend. 

Jisung grabs his skateboard, puts on his helmet and a pair of elbow pads and leaves through the front door. Mark and Jaemin turn into small hops, which dangle from Jisung’s ears as he speeds down the street. The early morning breeze washes over his face and he can’t even be mad that he was forced to wake up with the birds and bees. Not when the city is still sleeping, sun only shyly peaking over the horizon, still averse to coming out and shining in its full glory.

The sound of wheels on the hard ground and the tiny pebbles rolling out of his way are a reminder that even this far removed from the wild Nature has cunning ways of reminding people that She exists and is the reason all else exists. Jisung doesn’t hate the city. It’s charming in its own way when you ignore the big industrial buildings and the loud traffic because under it all are backstreet cafes and flower shops, small forgotten theatre buildings and skating parks. And sometimes they’re enough to make him stay. And when they’re not he has a skateboard and a road stretching miles ahead. Even without Jaemin and Mark’s help, his feet, his wheels, they can take him anywhere.

In this case his wheels make a sharp turn and he stops just before he bumps into a person standing on the sidewalk. They take him to Chenle.

“Morning.” Chenle’s voice is chirpy and she looks far too awake considering the fact that the sun is barely out, but then again it’s possible that she never went to sleep. Jisung can never quite tell with Chenle.

The two of them met at the beginning of summer when they quite literally collided into one another at the skating park. Chenle felt bad for the tall kid even though it was mostly Jisung’s fault for the clash. Jisung took the worst of the fall, evident by the scraped knees and the small cuts on the palms of his hands, which Chenle helped run under water and bandage to the best of their abilities. He felt embarrassed for days after because of the way he had balled his eyes out, snot and red nose on full display. The sight had seemingly not phased Chenle at all. It is so like her to skim things over quickly and live in the present, overthinking and dwelling on stuff not being a part of her vocabulary. Jisung hadn’t known any better then, the two of them mere strangers, but he does now. It’s one of the reasons he likes her so much. She’s the voice of reason and he, well, he is Jisung. He’s not exactly sure how Chenle sees him, just that she indulges his antics and that’s enough.

Chenle’s family had just moved countries last week though she wouldn’t tell him why exactly. Jisung didn’t press. He was all too happy over the fact that they’d be attending the same school come fall.

Being friends with Chenle, Jisung soon realized, was a small blessing. He had many other people both from school and from outside of it whom he could call close but Chenle was different somehow. With her things were easy in spite of their many differences. There is something rewarding about unconditional support from the person you least expected to get it from. And Chenle, under the witty jokes and nonchalant facade, is one of the most caring and understanding people Jisung has met. He had taught her how to skate and in return Chenle had taught him the rules of soccer, not quite succeeding in applying them to reality due to Jisung’s inherent fear of something hitting his head, but still. The gesture was there.

Now they’re skating to school together, keeping a slow pace due to the short distance they have to cover. Chenle’s hair is black , Jisung notes curiously. He remembers it being blonde just last week. The way the wind is sweeping it, revealing a forehead, furrowed brows and acne scars, reminds Jisung of the small crush he thought he had on Chenle at the beginning of their friendship. It is an embarrassing memory but dear nonetheless. Falling for Chenle would’ve been an easy task but Jisung had long accepted the fact that Donghyuck has his heart captive and has no intention of setting it free anytime soon. 

The first day back is always uneventful, the highlight being Jisung helping Chenle to sign up for soccer tryouts, which are to take place at the end of next week. The rest consists of going from classroom to classroom and writing down what textbooks each teacher requires. That and Jisung’s unsuccessful attempts to hide from Donghyuck when they pass each other in the hallways. Donghyuck just smiles every time he spots him and waves a hand. Jisung curses the fact that he’s a good head taller than most students.

The conversation from yesterday still lingers inside Jisung’s mind. He’s not quite sure what to make of it, whether Donghyuck is pulling his leg or if he genuinely meant it. Both that, and the fact that Donghyuck somehow knows his name, mess with his head. It has him spacing out almost throughout the entirety of the day. Mark and Jaemin notice the rigidness in his moves but decide against intervening. Instead they plot a way to lift Jisung’s mood up once he’s done with classes.

“Where are you taking me?” asks Jisung, trying to peek through Jaemin’s hands, which cover his eyes completely.

“Would it be a surprise if we told you?” 

Jisung sighs but inevitably gives in. There’s the familiar feeling of nausea that comes with teleporting but it quickly goes away as he feels soil under his feet. It’s quiet.

It’s never quiet in the city. Not even during the night and while he’s gotten used to it gradually Jisung stills feels grateful whenever his family travels outside of it or when Mark and Jaemin take him some place secluded, some place outside of this galaxy, completely separate from the timeline he’s supposed to be living in.

Jisung breathes in heavily, cold air entering his nostrils. The smell of wet grass and damp wood, the loud chirping and wanton wails of the creatures, which inhabit this land; they make him smile. He knows where they are before he even reaches up to remove Jaemin’s hands from his face.

The valley is beautiful, far removed from everything and anything known to humankind. The sight makes Jisung realise how tired he is. The sound of hundreds of excited voices carrying through the school hallways still ring in his ears but the soft splash of the river water against the soil drowns them out eventually. He lets his body fall back, the soft ground welcoming his weight kindly.

He’s about to turn towards Jaemin and Mark and mumble a soft thank you when something catches on the corner of his eye. Jisung looks up in surprise, eyes growing in size when he realizes it’s the meteor shower. The sky lights up, millions of rocks set themselves ablaze as they begin falling down, leaving in their wake only a golden trail, which fades seconds after they make contact with the valley. Jisung flinches only slightly when the meteors hit the ground around him, melting through it. He knows they won’t harm him. They’re merely here to get planted deep into the soil, grow out like plants when the time comes and then turn into night spirits, who’ll inhabit the place for eternity.

“How? They were supposed to be gone by now?” Jisung’s voice sounds a step up from a whisper, eyes still glued to the night sky.

“Well, short term time traveling was ruled harmless a few years ago, so we thought why not?” Jaemin’s voice is kind, it’s always kind. Jisung thinks he can listen to it as it lulls him to sleep for the rest of his life.

“Did you know that this was the place where I asked Mark to get bonded to me?”

Jisung looks away from the sky, Jaemin’s voice bringing him back to the ground.

“It was so fucking cliche,” laughs Jaemin, hand subconsciously reaching for Mark’s. “I stood there, the shower coming down and when I looked to my right it felt like a bullet was shot right through my heart, except it never came out of the other end. It just snuggled in between the ventricles and refused to leave until all my blood had streamed out, until all my love had no place to hide and was forced to come out.

Back then Mark’s wings were so much smaller, did you know that? And yet, they looked just like one of them — the spirits; striding on top of the water, feet barely touching the surface and I thought this was it. The point of no return.

Allowing yourself to love fully with no restraints, it compares to nothing else. And I had loved them for centuries before I allowed myself to name it. Why, I had loved others but Mark, I simply adored them. I still do.”

Jisung feels goosebumps dance on top of his arms. A smile spread on his face. He tries to imagine what younger versions of Mark and Jaemin would look like, how they’d blend in perfectly with the valley and its inhabitants. It makes him realize once again just how different they are, how he’ll never come even close to understanding their existence but their love — even a blind person would be able to see it. 

Jisung has loved, maybe not as intensely or as wholeheartedly as them, but he has. What he feels for his moms, for Chenle, for the two of them, for Donghyuck — it’s love in all of its shapes and sizes. Jisung wants to keep it for as long as they’ll all let him.

“Have you loved someone like that, Jisung?” asks Jaemin, their intentions masked well enough for Jisung to feel like he’s safe to open up his heart, yet urging in the most delicate of ways.

“I’m not sure.. But the boy next door — Donghyuck. When I look at him I feel the urge to get closer, to see if I can love him the way I think I’m able to. The way he deserves to be loved.”

It hurts. Bearing his soul in such a way feels almost like an arrow to the heel, stopping him dead in his tracks for everyone to gauge at. It’s also relieving somewhat, like wings spurting out of his back. Maybe that’s how Jaemin and Mark feel like and if so he wouldn’t mind giving up his life if it means he gets to fly high like that once more.

“What should I do?” asks Jisung, looking at the two for the answer to the universe.

“For starters — talk — you won’t ever know what your feelings could amount to unless you give them room to grow and getting to know Donghyuck is your best shot at that. You like him, you like the idea of him, there’s something about him, which attracts your attention but would you love him if you knew him?” Mark threads their words gently but with intention.

Now’s the time to push Jisung to his limits, to guide him beyond them and make him realize that love when you strip it bare is in its very essence work. It's an effort put in by two, three, however many people to show that through the trials and tribulations of life they’re going to be there for the other, not as a spear but as a shield. Love is a weapon but it’s one, which should only be used on defence; drawing blood by the means of its prowess is an offense of moral turpitude.

“Your love, it’s not wrong but is it enough? Will you be satisfied with loving an image of him that you’ve conjured in your mind for the rest of your life?”

“No.” Jisung’s voice is quiet, small. “No, I want to know him .”

“Love him then, then love him some more until there’s nothing left of him, no part, no hidden side, no embarrassing memory which you’re unaware of. Help him learn to trust you, let yourself trust him; not the him you think you know but the him, which you’ll get to know eventually.

And when even that is not enough, then you’ll know that he is the one. And if that never happens, if you’re satisfied with knowing him alone you’ll be left with a friend for the rest of your life.”

Jisung lets the words ring in his ears for hours, listens to them like an old phonograph record, rewinds it and then rewinds it again until the sound of it lulls him to sleep. Before he closes his eyes he sees the silver-white spirits dancing around them, the sky at its most brilliant. Jaemin and Mark take him back home after.

🧚

“So the captain, huh?” asks Chenle, a smile plastered on her face, which makes her look like a smug cat. Her question snaps Jisung out of his oneway staring contest with Donghyuck’s back. 

“Well, if you’re going to ignore me at least it’s for someone of a higher rank. Not that I’m forgiving you but I understand.” Chenle sighs in pretense, going as far as to fist the material of her jersey right over her heart to convey just how hurt she is. “It’s always the flashy strikers, never the dependable, sweet and very cute, might I add, goalkeepers-”

“Chenle, shut up!” Jisung’s voice is high pitched and sounds mortified, his sides as red as a tomato. Chenle gives him a look before she licks the palm of Jisung’s hand, which the other had used to silence her. “Eww, what is wrong with you?” his whines make Chenle burst into a fit of laughter, almost doubling over onto the ground.

“Jisung, you know I know that you’re crushing big time on superstar soccer team captain and your neighbour next door Lee Donghyuck, right? Every time I walk you home you stop to stare at him over the fence for a good minute.”

“Yeah, but do you have to say it out loud?” Jisung looks down in shame. All of a sudden the ground, littered with cigarette buts and worms crawling out of their caves after this morning's rainfall, seems incredibly interesting. He looks at Jaemin and Mark who have decided to turn into a pair of mismatched snickers, the green and pink a striking contrast to Jisung’s otherwise all black attire.

“I mean, no, not really. But your reactions are hilarious, so.” Chenle pats his back, her teasing voice beginning to soften around the edges. 

”So, what is the deal with you two exactly?” she asks, seeming genuinely interested.

Jisung and Chenle had spent the majority of their summer vacation skating and marathoning mediocre TV series and to be frank they didn’t watch them as much as they loudly talked over them, making fun of the characters and the script writing. Sure, Chenle had noticed Jisung’s habit of routinely staring at the boy next door but Jisung didn’t seem like the type to openly talk about his feelings or be aware of them, really, so Chenle had let him be, no questions asked. They had never peeped long enough for Chenle to notice that the boy, who Jisung was seemingly crushing on, was none other than Lee Donghyuck. Huh, she thought gleefully.

For anyone who has even the slightest interest in high school soccer Lee Donghyuck is a name, which is synonymous to genius technical play and domineering prowess. Most athletes begin honing their skills early on but Donghyuck had only picked up soccer just before entering high school. His quick wits and sheer stubbornness caught the eyes of many, helping him climb up to bigger stages in record time. Him almost reaching Nationals despite his lackluster of a team made many promising young players transfer schools in hopes of playing by his side. Chenle is not ashamed of the fact that she is one of them. Though her case is slightly more complicated.

Donghyuck is admittedly popular even outside of the field. He’s also objectively good looking but Chenle still felt puzzled when she found out that he was the person that made Jisung’s eyes grow the size of a soccer ball. Chenle thought herself a pretty good judge of a person’s character and in all honesty Jisung didn’t strike her as someone who thrived on the attention of strangers, so for him to willingly show interest in Donghyuck was admittedly a surprise. It was kind of adorable though, how different they looked and acted. Putting them next to one another would surely be a sight to see.

“There is no ‘you two’, I am Jisung and he is Donghyuck. That’s it.” Jisung looks down again, kicking a pebble.

“Then why does he keep looking our way?”

“Haha, very funny.”

“Jisung, my dearest friend, why the fuck would I lie about that?”

“Wait, for real?” Jisung’s cheeks start heating up again. He lifts his head to sneak a peek and maybe catch Donghyuck in the act but he seems way too engrossed in discussing something with their coach. He sighs in disappointment. 

“I swear he was looking at you like two seconds ago.”

A whistle sounds through the field, a sign that tryouts are beginning. Everyone including Chenle make their way to the coach who starts out by giving them instructions and explaining how they’ll be evaluated. The truth is that until last year their school’s soccer team didn’t actually have an official coach but with Donghyuck being a part of it the need for one turned into a necessity. It wasn’t hard to find someone willing to fill in the position. Donghyuck’s rising popularity attracted a lot of talented young and most of all promising kids; the problem was that Donghyuck wouldn’t accept just anyone to train him and his team. It had to be someone he could trust, who would be dead set on helping them reach their full potential. 

Jisung didn’t really know the name of the woman that ended up taking the position but what he did know was that Donghyuck sought her out instead of the other way around. He was the one who chose her specifically, which can only mean that there is something special about her and her coaching. All he’s certain of is that the second he stepped foot in school on the first day everyone was talking about the fact that Donghyuck had made the team train the entire summer.

There are fewer of the original players as far as Jisung can tell when he scans the field, which could only mean some quit over the break. Jisung doesn’t blame them. For most soccer was probably only a hobby, but with Donghyuck striving for greatness the team’s goals had changed drastically. 

The instructions seem to be over because everyone breaks into a run around the field. They do a few laps and after stretching they begin doing various drills. 

Jisung knows Chenle is good but when she puts on a pair of gloves and takes a stance in front of the goal the air around her seems to shift. He’s too busy watching the way Chenle doesn’t let a single ball get past her to realize someone has plopped on the bench next to him.

“Is she your friend?”

Donghyuck’s voice comes from a dangerously close place, which makes Jisung jump out of his skin. Jisung turns around and sees him smiling gently. 

“Yeah, her name is Chenle. She just moved here from Shanghai.” Jisung does his best to avoid Donghyuck’s gaze because he knows that if they lock eyes he’ll do something embarrassing.

“Oh, Chenle you say.” Jisung can’t quite read Donghyuck’s tone but he seems pleased from what he can pick up, intrigued even. For a second he wonders if there’s more to Chenle than he initially thought. “By the looks of it she’ll surely make the cut. We were hoping to find a new goalkeeper anyways, since the previous one quit recently.” Jisung just nods unsure of what else to say.

“So, what do you say I treat you to something on the way home?” Donghyuck’s ability to jump from one topic to another amazes Jisung until the words actually register and he’s left dumbfounded.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I still haven’t made it up to you for hitting you in the stomach with a ball last week, and you don’t look like the type to hold others accountable for their actions, so I decided to take matters into my own hands.” Donghyuck's smile is so wide and his teeth so shiny that Jisung almost stops paying attention to what he’s saying mid sentence; he perseveres, however. “So, what do you say? We live next to each other anyways, wanna grab something on the way. My treat obviously.”

“Hyung, there’s no need.” says Jisung. “Seriously, stuff like that happens all the time. There’s nothing to make up for.”

The truth is that Jisung would very much like to accept the offer, not because he’s mad, he had honestly forgotten about the accident entirely, but because any chance to get to know Donghyuck is precious. He’s afraid Donghyuck will accept his refusal and move on but thankfully that doesn’t seem to be the case.

“Is it because of Chenle? You can ask her to come with us if you want, treating one more person won’t leave me broke.” Jisung almost refuses again out of pure instinct but Donghyuck seems adamant about making sure there’s no “bad blood” between them.

“Okay.” Jisung says shyly. His answer makes the smile on Donghyuck’s face grow even bigger.

Jisung considers asking him how he knows his name but Donghyuck is back to scanning the field carefully and he doesn’t want to get in the way of his captain duties. Instead he watches the practice, glancing at Donghyuck every once in a while. It’s admirable how dedicated he is to the sport. He doesn’t have to be here today because he doesn’t even get to play but he cares about the condition of the new contestants, some of whom will become his teammates starting next week. He’s heard that Donghyuck is a visual player and learns his team’s mannerisms in a matter of days. It’s all so he can accommodate to their playing style and draw the best out of all of them. Jisung wonders how Chenle and Donghyuck would look like on the same team, on the same field. It’s enough to send shivers down his spine. Jisung wants to witness Donghyuck shaping her up into a star like himself.

Tryouts draw on for longer than anticipated because of the huge interest this year around but eventually they come to an end. Chenle looks sweaty, her hair damp and sticking to her forehead but she’s wearing a smile so bright it could rival Donghyuck’s. When she spots Donghyuck sitting next to Jisung she seems surprised for all of three seconds before something dangerous shifts in her gaze, the smug look from earlier making a comeback. Jisung mentally braces himself for whatever she’s about to say but she just greets them casually.

“Hyung, offered to treat us after we’re done here. Are you free?” Jisung tries to communicate to her using his impressive physic powers that she better not ditch or he’ll die of embarrassment. 

“Cool, give me a second to shower and change.”

Chenle returns shortly after and they leave once Donghyuck promises to go over the applicants tomorrow morning with the coach. Chenle and Jisung gather their skateboards from where they had left them on the benchers and they’re on their way.

“You skate? That’s so fucking cool.” Donghyuck sounds excited as he looks at the board, silently asking to look at it. Jisung swells with pride just a little bit. He was the one that spray painted the bottom and Donghyuck looks clearly impressed by his, though admittedly amateur, still pretty decent art.

“Yeah, I actually met Chenle at the skating park. She didn’t know how to use a board three months ago and now she’s better than me. Students do always surpass teachers as it turns out.” Jisung giggles and almost slaps himself because of the way his voice pitches higher with each word.

“Well, you must have been a pretty good teacher then. Maybe you’ll teach me someday.” The promise of meeting Donghyuck again leaves him feeling high with adrenaline, his face melting into a doopy smile.

The three stop at a nearby supermarket so Donghyuck could treat them to something like he promised. Donghyuck goes ahead and starts stacking snacks in a basket while Jisung screams internally as he watches his back; the hair at his nape has grown longer. Chenle makes him explain how they ended up here with Donghyuck despite Jisung’s earlier claims that they don’t know each other. Jisung tries to describe how Donghyuck had quite literally knocked him over with a soccer ball, which Chenle seems to find hilarious, seen as Jisung is apparently prone to meeting people in situations where physical pain is accidentally inflicted on him.

After a few minutes pass and Donghyuck still hasn’t stopped piling stuff in the basket Jisung starts to feel guilty.

“Chenle,” whisper-shouts Jisung.”, he’s going to buy the entire store.”

“So?”

“So? I feel bad? I didn’t think he’d buy so much stuff.”

“Let him treat you, jeez. When you go out on your skate date next time you can buy the stuff instead.” 

“When we go out on our what now?” 

“Jisung, you can’t be for real. Earlier, when he asked to see your board?” Jisung blinks owlishly, unaware of the implications behind Chenle’s words. Chenle sighs, rubbing her eyes in exasperation as though she’s trying to explain the concept of rocket science to a child. 

“You’re so oblivious, God. He wants to go out with you again! You’ve apparently known each other for what — two hours, give or take — and he’s already suggesting you meet up again? Hello?”

“I thought he was just saying stuff?” Jisung buries his face in his hands. “Do you - do you think he meant it, like for real, for real?” Chenle squeezes his hand as they make their way to the cash register.

“I’m not sure but Donghyck doesn’t seem like the type to say stuff lightly. Obviously, there’s only one way to find out.”

The three of them make their way out of the store, arms full of bags. They part with Chenle when they get to her house, Jisung giving her a sideways hug since his hands are full. Chenle whispers a quick “ don’t forget to ask for his number ” before she dips, leaving behind a flustered Jisung and an oblivious Donghyuck. 

The two of them continue walking at a slow pace until they reach their neighbourhood. Donghyuck offers to eat the stuff at his house and Jisung feels his soul leave its mortal confines. He swears he can almost hear the way Jaemin and Mark are going to tease him once he gets home. For now though he has to survive being in Donghyuck’s presence and acting like he’s not stupidly in love with him.

The house is empty, Jisung notes, as they make their way to the living room where Donghyuck dumps the bags full of snacks.

“My parents work late so you probably won’t be meeting them today, which means you can stop acting like you’re gonna get interrogated.” laughs Donghyuck when he sees Jisung’s awkward stance. Jisung is on the verge of saying this is how he naturally looks but instead he gives Donghyuck a nod and tries to relax his shoulders. He manages to do it, surprisingly, and realizes that even though they’re alone he doesn’t feel as nervous as he thought he would.

Donghyuck is much less fierce and energetic than Jisung had anticipated. He can hold a conversation no problem and he doesn’t seem bothered by Jisung’s own timidness, but there’s a quiet sort of placidness about him, which allows for silences between them without it being awkward. Donghyuck puts on some music as they eat at the counter, asking about what clubs Jisung is planning on applying for this school year.

“Are you any good at soccer? Tryouts are over but maybe you can prove to coach you’re the next Neymar, who knows.” Donghyuck’s tone is teasing, obviously not intended to be taken seriously, but Jisung’s monkey brain takes it as a challenge to prove himself worthy. He’s about to say something he’ll probably regret later when he notices that Donghyuck is not moving, body frozen completely.

“Please tell me you’re not about to lie to Donghyuck’s face.” deadpans Jaemin, who’s suddenly at Jisung’s side.

“I’m not! Just-” Jisung slaps his own cheeks, squeezing them together.”- I want to impress him, you know?”

“Oh, we know, kiddo. But do you really want to do it this way? I can assure you he’ll find you much cooler if you show him stuff you’re good at.” Mark ruffles his hair playfully, trying to distract Jisung from the situation. “Plus didn’t he say and I quote — That’s so fucking cool — when he learned that you skate?”

“He did.” sighs Jisung. “Wait, why didn’t you tell me that you can freeze time? I could have slept in on school days?” Jisung sounds genuinely offended that they’d keep such knowledge away from him.

“You never asked. Plus time manipulation has some really strict rules attached to it. Believe me you don’t want to know how inconvenient it actually is.”

“Fine. Can you guys unfreeze us then?” 

Their wands light up at the tip and suddenly it’s back to normal. Donghyuck is looking at him sweetly once again, waiting for an answer.

“I wish.” admits Jisung. “Chenle taught me the rules but other than that I’d be pretty useless on the court.” Donghyuck chuckles a bit at his honesty as he shoves doritos in his mouth.

“Well, you can always apply for the manager position then. You get to travel with us when we go to other cities for games and you only have to write down how each player’s progressing.”

“I didn’t know soccer clubs had managers.”

“Well, we’ve never really had one, but I mean technically it is a part of the team’s budget.”

“I’ll think about it.” Jisung’s words seem to take Donghyuck by surprise.

“Wait, for real?”

“Why not.” Jisung’s gives him a little smile. “It wouldn’t hurt to try new things. I get to put something ‘impressive’ down on my college applications and I also get to see you and Chenle playing together — nothing to lose, really.”

Donghyuck smiles and this time it’s nothing like his wide grins, which shine bright enough to leave everyone in their wake dizzy, no, it’s a smile much more muted. Something almost intimate. Jisung looks away.

Hours later he leaves Donghyuck’s house with the promise to see each other at school and a new contact in his phone.

🧚

The park is empty safe for the occasional jogger passing them by, the sound of feet hitting the ground coming and going. It’s early in the morning, the mild breeze rustling through the three branches and circling around the leaves, which have already fallen onto the ground — it’s a reminder that summer is slowly but surely fading, a transition bound to bring continuous rain showers and wet, soft mud in the place of warm sun and humidity.

Jisung didn’t think he’d be up this early on a weekend — the sky still a dull, almost grey tinted shade of blue — but love as they say makes you do stupid things. Apparently the warmth he feels when he’s a bit too close to Donghyuck and the embarrassing amount of fondness he harbours for the other, are enough to have him accept Donghyuck’s request for a morning stroll in the park. A few weeks have passed since tryouts and the day they first went out but Jisung still feels squirmish when it’s just the two of them. Donghyuck seems to sense that as he always invites Chenle to tag along as well. It’s relief in a way, knowing that Donghyuck cares enough to make sure he’s comfortable. Jisung hadn’t thought much of it at first, just assumed that’s how he treated everyone but Chenle had pointed out multiple occasions on which Donghyuck had gone out of his way so Jisung wouldn’t feel nervous or jittery.

For the most part the park in their neighbourhood is like a small forest, all huge trees towering over the narrow pathways and grass reaching to one’s knees. People usually stay close to the entrance where Nature is more timid and the surface of the benches is not overtaken by vines but after living in the area for years and venturing deeper and deeper into the woods Jisung had found an abandoned skate rink. He started taking care of it so that one day it could hopefully be used again and with the appearance of Mark and Jaemin that day had come much sooner than he had anticipated. 

Jisung and Chenle had taken Donghyuck to the skating rink next to their school. It’s the biggest one in town as well as the best equipped one, however, with the amount of people there and the commotion they caused they hadn’t been able to teach Donghyuck much. Jisung realized it might be better to start off slow, to take Donghyuck some place where he wouldn’t have to worry about everyone’s eyes being on him. It was the perfect time to reveal his small discovery. 

Making their way there proves to be quite the task seen as the only means to reach it is a thin stripe of soil covered in pebbles of different sizes and colours. When a tree branch hits him in the face for the third time Jisung wishes to have considered that particular aspect of their journey and to have asked Jaemin and Mark to make the path wider and overall easier to pass through. The three of them usually teleport there so the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind.

“Jisung, are you sure we’re going in the right direction?” asks Chenle, who is shielding her face with the board she’s carrying.

“Yeah, we’re almost there.” answers Jisung while he avoids stepping on a branch, which looks suspiciously like a snake.

After another minute or so of venturing through the woods they finally reach the open space where the rink is situated. The field is wide and spacious, the asphalt which is covering the ground flat and clean of any waste. When Jisung had first found it the ground had been hidden under a blanket of glass shards from broken bottles, cigarette butts and plastic bags. At the beginning no matter how hard he tried to get rid of them new ones would be left behind a week or two later so in order to keep the place clean he had asked Jaemin and Mark to put a barrier around it. Its purpose being to prevent the entering of any person charged with ill intent or malice. After that the place became much easier to tend to.

“Damn, who takes care of this place?” asks Chenle as she looks around in awe. Donghyuck who’s right next to her is equally as busy taking in the sight.

“I do.” Jisung answers shyly. 

“Jisung, this place is amazing!” it’s Donghyuck this time, eyes finally peeled from the grass and the mushrooms, which had started growing everywhere recently. “How do you manage to keep it looking so alive? I mean — it’s not exactly small.” he gestures excitedly. 

“I have some friend’s who are a huge help.” says Jisung as he looks down at the pink and green bracelets clasped loosely around his wrist. “So, should we start with the basics?” 

Donghyuck looks the most nervous Jisung has ever seen him as he steps foot on the wobbly board. 

“You need to put your right leg forward, it’ll be easier to keep your balance that way.” explains Chenle as she steps on her own board to try and show Donghyuck how he’s supposed to stand.

“Jisung, help him adjust his position.” her voice climbs higher at the end, which makes Jisung look up. She’s giving him a sly smile, which makes him roll his eyes. Thankfully, Donghyuck is too busy staring at his own feet to notice the nonverbal argument the other two are having over his shoulder.

“I will just, uh —” begins Jisung, hands hovering somewhere between Donghyuck’s shoulders and waist, unsure of where it’s appropriate to touch. Donghyuck smiles when he sees him struggling.

“You can touch me you know? Contrary to popular belief I’m not inflammable.” Jisung tries not to flush at the fact that Donghyuck can see through him so easily.

“Okay so — your left foot — it should be horizontal to the front one.” explains Jisung, still unsure of what to do with his hands besides waving them around in vague shapes, trying to convey the directions he’s giving out. “ And you need to bend your knees — like that, so you don’t lose balance.” 

“How do I move now?”

“I think it might be a bit early to have you move on your own.” says Jisung, afraid that Donghyuck might fall and injure himself.

“Why don’t you pull him by his hand or push him from behind until he gets used to it?” suggests Chenle sneakily. 

Before Jisung has the mind to blush, Donghyuck is already extending a hand, clearly excited to get started on the next step. Jisung grabs it loosely at first, afraid Donghyuck will feel just how sweaty his palm is, but the prospect of him accidentally because he didn’t hold him firmly enough makes Jisung tighten his grip. 

Once the initial bashfulness is out of the way Jisung finds himself having fun instead of fretting over every small detail. Donghyuck is incredibly stiff at first, which is to be expected, but when he realizes that Jisung is not going to let him fall he relaxes and lets the tires of the board get dragged over the ground. The lack of bumps makes the slide easy and the sight of Jisung’s happy face right in front of him makes something flutter inside Donghyuck’s chest. 

They go at it for a while before Donghyuck announces that he wants to try skating on his own. Jisung helps him get into position and start off by pushing him a bit from behind. Donghyuck manages to keep the board going for a good ten meters before he tries to propel the board using his own foot and fails. He’s going at a slow speed so Jisung is right behind him and catches him before he ends up on his ass.

“Thanks.” smiles Donghyuck.

“No problem. You did way better than me when I first tried skating.” When Jisung realizes his hand is still on the small of Donghyuck’s back he pulls away so fast he almost dislocates his shoulder. He instantly misses the feeling. 

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, it took me days before I was even willing to step anywhere near a board.” 

“Cute.” chuckles Donghyuck.

After a few more attempts at skating without Jisung’s help Donghyuck starts to get the hang of it. He’s unsure on his feet still and goes at a relatively slow pace but he doesn’t trip and when he feels like he’s about to, he jumps on both sides of the skateboard like Jisung had advised him to.

Soon after Chenle climbs out of the pit and joins them, watching as Donghyuck tries to make a turn but fails inevitably. Jisung’s hands are hovering behind his back in an attempt to shield him from falling backwards. It’s an endearing sight to witness — the two of them gravitating towards one another without noticing it — it makes her feel happy for Jisung. A few weeks back he could barely make eye contact with Donghyuck without his face turning a pale shade of pink but now his back looks straighter, shoulders less tense; he’s warming up to the boy he’s been admiring from afar for years, letting himself unravel.

After staring at them for a while Chenle gets up, loudly proclaiming that she’s bored out of her mind.

“Oppa, let’s ditch Jisung and go play soccer.” she teases, pulling a ball out of her backpack and letting it fall onto the ground. Jisung puffs his cheeks in an attempt to look like he’s annoyed, only succeeding in looking cuter. A wicked idea pops up over his head like a light bulb and just once Jisung indulges into his jokester tendencies. He brings a hand up to his face as though to wipe the sweat gathered at his chin and whispers something unintelligibly.

“You can just play here you know?” says Jisung, pointing a finger towards something behind their backs. When they turn around there’s a goal, which had most definitely not been there when they first arrived. Chenle and Donghyuck blink a couple of times, convinced that they’re having a collective hallucination but the goal refuses to disappear. They turn around ready to start asking questions when Jisung’s phone starts ringing.

“You can go ahead and play if you want, I just need to take this call real quick. I’ll be back in a second.” with that he jogs a safe distance away — far enough that they wouldn’t be able to hear what he’s saying but close enough that they can clearly see him still.

Chenle kicks the ball in Donghyuck’s direction as she ties her hair into a short ponytail. Once she’s put on her gloves they head towards the goal where they take their positions. Chenle crouches slightly, getting ready to receive any ball that comes her way, the look in her eyes serious all of a sudden.

Donghyuck plays forward so even though they’ve been on the same team for a couple of weeks now she doesn’t get to be on the receiving side of his strikes often. Donghyuck seems to catch onto the shift in the atmosphere and gets ready to deliver with the same strength he uses during official matches.

He takes a deep breath before his feet close the short distance between himself and the ball, which he sends with striking power in the left corner of the goal. Most people are unable to save his attacks due to his ability to shoot accurately at the very ends of the goal but Chenle is not most people. She takes a step left before he even sends the ball and leaps up, successfully catching it and landing like a cat — gracefully, her fall almost soundless. Donghyuck knows she’s good, has seen her at tryouts and personally vouched for her to be on the team but getting to play one on one with her is different. Catching his ball means that she was either able to see through him — which for the most part should be impossible as Donghyuck makes very little excessive movements that could give away the place he’s aiming for — or she has some wicked reflexes, which she’s able to utilize as soon as she sees where the ball is going. Donghyuck is not sure which is scarier but he’s glad to have her on his side of the court even though it’s still a mystery why she moved to a completely different country when she was already basking in success back home.

“Go easier on me next time, captain. You know I’m new to this.” Chenle lies through her teeth and if it was anyone else they would have probably believed her but Donghyuck has seen her play, not just here but for her previous team as well. He’s not sure if she’s teasing or if there’s an ulterior motive to her words. Perhaps she’s trying to get some sort of reaction out of him.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Chenle.” he catches the ball when she thrown it back, dropping it to the floor and preparing for another kick. “Even an amatuer can tell you’re about as experienced as I am, if not more.” says Donghyuck before he aims for the opposite corner of the goal, watching intently as another one of his free shots is saved.

“Could it be — the Lee Donghyuck himself is praising me?”

“I should be the one asking the questions between the two of us, don’t you think?

“I suppose.”

“Then tell me something — why did you come here, Zhong Chenle? Everyone knows about the offer you were made last year, the one you rejected before you disappeared off the face of Earth only to show up as a starting member of some unknown Korean school’s soccer team. 

Youngest participant in the Shanghai International Youth Football Invitational, award for best goalkeeper since middle school, exceptional talent and the potential to become a part of China’s national team. Why did you leave all that behind?” 

Donghyuck hadn’t been sure at first when he saw a familiar style of play used at the tryouts, even when he saw Chenle up close it still felt like someone was messing with him. When he had checked her profile the next day while discussing things with the coach Donghyuck was forced to accept the fact that China’s very own rising soccer star had somehow snuck her way into his shabby team and would be his teammate until graduation.

Chenle laughs as though Donghyuck’s words amuse her greatly.

“I was wondering when you’d mention it. Do you want me to tell you the truth or should I go with the answer reserved for the press?” Donghyuck doesn’t answer but the look in his eyes tells Chenle he wouldn’t put an end to this discussion unless he gets an answer, which would fully satisfy his curiosity. Chenle stops laughing, the serious look from earlier back on her face. 

“How should I put this,” she begins, feet toying with the ball. “ when I say I was bored it’s, well, it’s not exactly a lie. Unlike you I’ve never been passionate about the sport or at least not in the sense that people apply to the word. Do I like soccer? Without a doubt but that’s the extent of it.

I’ve never had goals, which I wanted to achieve or places I wanted to go. I simply enjoy the game and it so happens that I am good at it. My old coach saw potential in me and helped me hone the budding talent into a weapon I could wield freely. So what now, you ask? I still have no particular interest in playing soccer professionally. An athlete is nothing if they’re void of inspiration, raw desire to reach just a little higher than the sky. So I thought to myself — what the hell am I doing in between such people?

Maybe I’m selfish. Maybe you don’t need an inherent desire to play and the fact that I’m able to is enough but it’s not. At least for me it isn’t. I was pondering over the future when I saw a video of you playing and how do I put it — it was the first time I felt terrified while watching a game. Passion is the one thing, which is considered essential in sports and you have that, plenty of people out there do. So what makes you so special, Lee Donghyuck? It’s the desperation.

Every time you step foot on the field you play as though this is your last game, a final chance to prove something. I don’t know what you’re trying to prove, whether it’s to yourself or to someone else, and honestly I don’t care. What I care about is how you manage to make a high school soccer game feel like the most important thing in the entire world. This is why I’m here — because I want to play with you, to learn how to be desperate about this sport the way you are. And if I can’t, I’ll be out of your hair soon enough.” 

Donghyuck looks at her with eyes wide open, trying and failing to absorb all the information dumped onto him. It’s impossible for him to fathom how anyone could look at him and see someone so cunning and passion driven. He’s been so focused on practicing for years now, reaching for greater heights, yet it hadn’t even once occurred to him that he could be perceived in such a way, that his efforts could be that highly commended. The constant race for the top had blinded him to everything and everyone else so in the face of uncovered admiration Donghyuck has no idea what to say or how to react.

Passion. It makes him think about the 3:42 seconds video he watches every day as a reminder of who unlocked this burning desire for success inside him.

“You know, ” Chenle breaks the silence, which had fallen over them. “ you and Jisung, now that i think about it, are much more alike than I initially thought. He may seem timid but under the round eyes burns a fire. It’s the same as yours.”

“That’s impossible.” Donghyuck finally speaks up, his voice softening at the mention of Jisung. “My passion for soccer can never compare to the devotion he used to have for dancing.” it’s true or at least in Donghyuck eyes that’s the one absolute truth, which he’ll never stop living by.

“Oh? Jisung told me you two didn’t know each other until the start of this year, well, not beyond being next door neighbours.”

“We don’t. But I know him.” Donghyuck feels the same warmness in his heart from earlier when Jisung held his hand. “We’re in different years so I never met him at school but he used to dance at the park’s entrance. I would stop in the middle of the street, the one opposite of the park, and watch him for hours.“ Donghyuck smiles fondly at the memory. 

“I never got any closer but even from this far away I could feel the immensity of his aura. I asked around and learned his name but when I looked him up online I could find only two things — a video and an old article. You’ve seen him dance, haven’t you? He doesn’t just move in tact with the beat, it’s like his body becomes one with the melody, like music itself was created with him in mind — every note, every chord, every cadence — tailored to fit the way his body moves perfectly.

When I read the article about his injury I was shocked. Such talent going to waste — I felt deeply saddened but seeing him dancing on the street, it made me realize something. It was never about achievements or accomplishments. Maybe it was at the beginning, but for Jisung it’s like dancing was something akin to breathing and it was taken away from him. He can’t move like he used to. Ever. But it doesn’t stop him from trying.

Him and I — we could never be the same and still. His dancing touched me deeply, it made me want to do better and for that I’m grateful. That’s why every win of mine is half his.” 

Donghyuck feels relief wash over him in abundance the second he finishes speaking. Chenle’s the first person ever to know about this part of the story of his life. It feels like an equivalent exchange, like she’s the only person who he can share all of this with, the only one who would understand.

Donghyuck has spent the entirety of high school trying to find common ground, something to connect him and Jisung. Maybe Chenle is right about the two of them being so similar, maybe this is the starting point — the place where he stops regarding Jisung as something otherworldly and starts behaving like they’re of equal worth.

Over the course of the past few weeks Donghyuck had learned things about him, which have almost completely torn apart the thick veil of admiration he had thrown around Jisung’s shoulders like a royal mantle. Under it, he realizes, is but a boy; one which touches gently and loves fiercely. Jisung’s grip on things, on people — it’s loose enough to feel like everything will fall apart inevitably but strong enough to only toe around that possibility without ever actively committing to it. That is his way of showing his love — by giving enough space for the people dear to him to grow unconfined but keeping them near still, in case they need him, in case he needs them.

Donghyuck still feels the place on his back where Jisung’s hand had rested briefly. It makes him wonder wishfully if that’s a sign that Donghyuck is one of his people now, the ones he would take a poisoned arrow in the heart for.

Lost in thoughts Donghyuck doesn’t realize that Chenle is suddenly right next to him, not until she lays a heavy hand on his shoulder. It’s comforting to have her near. Donghyuck understands now why Jisung loves her so much. As he looks at her kind smile Donghyuck can’t help but wish to learn to love them both.

Jisung returns shortly after their conversation is over only to find them sitting on one of the benches instead of playing. Donghyuck looks at him, this time without the cloak clinging to his lithe frame and realizes that he likes this Jisung much better. Under the heavy mantle are a band t-shirt and ripped jeans, worn out sneakers and his nails painted black — it’s everything which comprises Jisung the person instead of Jisung the fallen star. Donghyuck feels his heart swelling, face melting into something kinder, softer because really, how can he not adore him?

🧚

Magic as it turns out is far more complicated than Jisung initially thought it would be. It appeared simple enough at first — a wave of a wand, a spark of electricity and you can get anything you’ve ever dreamed of. Within reason, of course. Now that he’s in the Fairy Library, however, he’s starting to understand just how complicated it really is. Mark and Jaemin hadn’t been joking when they said it was one of the most exact sciences out there.

The building they enter is huge like all other things in the Fairy World and is divided in two sections: one where all the books are stored and another which functions as a potion chamber. Jisung’s in the former, flicking through a giant purple grimoire and taking notes of the ingredients he’ll need. Most of the books are in languages Jisung is unfamiliar with but Mark and Jaemin had altered his vision slightly so he’d be able to read them still.

In theory Jisung could ask the two of them to make a bunch of good luck charms for the team, instead of going through half the library, but apparently hand crafted amulets and talismans have a much higher density of magic and are therefore twice as powerful. Donghyuck and Chenle are about to have their first match of the season in a week and Jisung wants to lessen the burden they must be carrying somehow, especially considering the fact that they’ve had such a bad seed this year.

SFS Academy is the best high school in their prefecture and considering the fact that they’ve been advancing for Nationals without a fail for three years now, it was inevitable that Donghyuck’s team would battle them at one point or another — they just didn’t think it’d be the very first game. Their only advantage at the moment is the fact that SFS Academy’s goalkeeper is indefinitely suspended from club activities and won’t be participating in the match. While that’s something they will surely take advantage of, SFS is just as strong on offence as they are in defense — a perfectly balanced team. 

Jisung was there when the matches were announced, close enough to see Donghyuck’s face drop for just a second before it went back to normal, his voice loud as he herded the rest of the team on the field to continue with practice. Jisung can understand why even a person like Donghyuck would feel momentarily despair — it is his last year in high school after all and while it’s almost certain that he’ll get scouted for university he is the type of person who hates losing more than anything. Donghyuck wants to prove that nothing has ever been handed to him on a silver platter, that his efforts are what brought him to where he is now.

Being a manager means Jisung gets to see just how gruesome practices can get once the season starts. Being a friend means he’s the only one who sees just how tired Donghyuck and Chenle have been looking. Indisputably they’re the best players on the team, which doesn’t mean the rest lack skills, no, the problem is that most of the current members joined this year and they haven’t yet learned to play like a team despite their best efforts. From Jisung’s perspective the match would ride solely on the player's individual prowess. Time is not going to allow them to combine their individual assets into something greater. To ease their nerves Jisung thought about giving them something symbolic, which would disperse the negative thoughts that are likely plaguing their minds. 

Mark and Jaemin don’t necessarily specialize in magical craftsmanship but a good luck charm is relatively easy to make even for a human. There exist all kinds of amulets but according to the librarian they consulted the ones easier to make usually work better. 

“What about this one?” asks Jaemin, pointing at one of the pages of a small book they’re holding. “It guards against negative spirits, even ones that the person’s own mind conjures. It was gifted during the Golden Era from close friends or family to young fairies — it ensured they wouldn’t get anxious when they got assigned their first godchild. That way they could perform their duties sufficiently from the very start till the end itself and then all over again.”

Jaemin hands over the book to Jisung, who observes it curiously. The level of difficulty is medium but he wouldn’t be making the potion on his own so he’s positive it’ll turn out fine regardless. 

“Love is a gift. To receive this amulet is — to put it in the simplest of terms — the highest form of adoration. Wear it proudly and know no wicked daimon — stranger or kin — would take over your mind or your soul. Not as long as love is there in the form of a shield, however big or small, to protect your rowdy, little heart.”

Jisung smiles softly at the description, two familiar faces flashing before his eyes.

“I like this one.”

Once they gather the ingredients they head towards the potion chamber situated just beyond a huge dark oak door, the frame of which is a molten golden colour. The inside is relatively empty, only a few fairies here and there — probably healers. Fair folk may be virtually immortal, however, that does not protect them from their natural enemies and other warrior-type creatures.

They make their way towards one of the few tables, which is situated on the ground, instead of floating high above it. Only certain fairies have access to the higher levels of the potion chamber where the rarer ingredients are kept; Jisung’s only here to brew a small concoction so there’s no need for Mark and Jaemin to teleport him up there. He puts the components on top of the table’s study surface. Most of the furniture in the Fairy World is made from natural materials like wood. In exchange for using them they’re forever sworn to protect Nature. Jisung touches the surface of the table and feels the hairs on his arms stand up — he can feel the vitality, the energy coursing through everything in this wondrous land, which leads it’s beginning from the very ground it’s build on top of, and once it’s no longer needed it would end up one with it again.

“We’ll guide you through it but it’ll be far more effective if you’re the one to make it.” says Mark, their voice snapping Jisung out of his daydreaming about three roots and what it would feel like to become one with them.

“Here —” Jaemin hands him a wooden bowl, the bottom of which is carefully crafted to look like a rose. “— use this to put the ingredients into. Pull your sleeves up because you’ll need to mix them by hand, they’re soft enough to morph seamlessly. That and making direct contact with the individual components of a potion — unless they’re toxic, of course — enhances their power.” Jisung nods in understanding as he props up the grimoire on a standee so it’s easier to see. 

“And remember with potions you always put in the dry ingredients first, then slowly progress to liquid-based ones.” Jisung appreciates the reminder as he was just about to pour a vial, which reads “tears and fears” into the bowl. In reality he’s not sure what half the products are as they all seem to have weird, funky names — a play of words in another language is Jisung’s best guess — but as long as he follows the instructions he’s sure it’ll turn out fine.

Instead of the vial he reaches for a small box full of dried up herbs, which have a very strong and distinguishable smell. He grabs a handful and puts it in the bowl by sprinkling it thinly clockwise like the grimoire advised.

“Is this enough?” Jisung asks curiously. 

“How many talismans are you making again?”

“Thirteen.”

“You can add a little extra.”

Jisung does as he’s told, moving onto the next step shortly after. After adding a few other components, including the “tears and fears” vial, he starts mixing it with his hands until it turns into a homogeneous substance. Then comes the step Jisung is looking least forward to — setting fire to the potion. It would have been fine if the instructions allowed the use of a lighter or a match but the text reads that a certain part of the body must be set aflame and then dipped into mixture for it to be effective. Mark and Jaemin had reassured him that it would not hurt. What the instructions apparently mean is that his inner fire must be given a physical shape, not actually set him aflame. The thought of seeing himself burning still makes him more than slightly terrified.

“Okay, do it.” says Jisung, once his nerves stop feeling like a rubber band, stretched so far back it would snap any second now. Or rip apart.

Mark and Jaemin raise their wands, a familiar looking spark at their tips and suddenly Jisung feels tingly all over. It’s like the blood in his veins is forced to change direction, like parts of it are briskly making their way to the tips of his fingers. It’s a weird sensation but not an unpleasant one, his whole body feeling lighter once the spell is done.

“Oh, my God.” exclaims Jisung silently as he sees a steady flame burning at the tip of his middle and pointer finger, the fire a light blue colour. 

“Okay, so now you need to dip them into the bowl and pull out immediately afterwards. The fire will go down once the potion has absorbed it and then we’ll bottle it in the crystals.” 

Jisung approaches the bowl carefully, the liquid inside a muddy colour, which is supposed to turn transparent once the flame works it’s magic. He follows Jaemin’s instructions exactly, dipping his fingers inside and pulling them out as quickly as possible. Jisung almost jumps out of his skin when he sees the fire shoot up in the air. It roars angrily for a few seconds before it shrinks and gradually disappears. Jisung gets close to it cautiously and watches in fascination as the concoction turns from an almost black shade of brown to white and then into something clear and transparent like water.

While Jisung is busy staring, Mark fetches a long box from one of the shelfs and puts it down onto the table. They open it carefully, an array of hollow crystals inside, arranged by colour.

“You have to fill these up. We’ll seal them after and then we’ll be done.”

Jisung barely keeps his hands from shaking but somehow manages to not spill any of the clear liquid as he fills up the thirteen crystals. Orange for Donghyuck and wine red for Chenle are the colours he chooses for the two of them. 

Jisung feels a strange hollowness as they leave the library, like a chunk of him is missing and in a sense it is. Amulets are one of the most intimate gifts that exist, it’s proof of one’s love and desire to see the owner healthy and prosperous. The ache is a good one. It’s a reminder that a little piece of him will always belong to Donghyuck and to Chenle. 

Jaemin and Mark drop him off at school as promised where it’s about time for the team to be getting done with their evening practice and heading home. Jisung jogs towards the field, a small bag in his hand and a pair of colourful bracelets clasped around his wrist. When he gets there Donghyuck and Chenle are the only ones still playing, a fierce look in both their eyes, sweaty uniforms clinging to their frames, bruises all over their legs. Pain much like love, Jisung guesses, is something the body never gets used to. The two wear the bruises proudly, however, and under the artificial lights, which reflect in their eyes and make them look like loaded guns ready to fire, the numerous marks and contusions almost look like battle scars.

They spot Jisung once he gets closer and greet him with tired, but warm smiles.

“Where were you today, team manager?” asks Chenle as she takes her gloves off, which reveal sweaty, red skin.

“I had important manager duties to attend to.” says Jisung right back, a joyous smile spreading on his face. He opens up the small bag, reaches inside and pulls out the two amulets. “I wanted to give these to the entire team but since you’re the only two left — here. I’ll hand out the rest tomorrow morning.”

Donghyuck and Chenle take them, staring at the crystals, which almost seem to glow in the dark.

“They’re beautiful, Sungie. What’s the occasion?” asks Donghyuck.

“These are good luck charms, which are supposed to keep your minds clear of negative thoughts and help you achieve prosperity. I was hoping you’d wear them at the match next week and win.” Jisung’s words are few but well chosen; there’s a power, which comes with simplicity and quietness — it makes others want to listen closely.

“You just keep on surprising me, Park Jisung. Is there anything you can’t do?” Chenle’s words are teasing like always but the softness in her eyes gives away just how touched she really is. “Since you’re such a gentleman, why don’t you put it on me?” 

Jisung happily obliges, lifting up the low ponytail as he clasps the thin chain around her neck. He does the same for Donghyuck, hands shaky this time around. The crystals rest flatly against both their chests and Jisung feels a wave of euphoria wash over him.

They’ll win. And when they do it’ll be because of their hard work, because they were never meant to be stars but had the guts to force their way up there, sit on top of the world and bask in glory kindly.

🧚

A game is never quiet unless it’s seconds away from coming to an end. One could argue this is when the cheers are the loudest, when the announcer's voice sounds the loudest, the sheer volume of it tearing through the Earth’s stratosphere and disappearing gradually into the void that is space.

For Jisung, however, it’s completely silent. It is much like someone has put the world on mute and he’s watching everyone’s mouths opening and closing without a single word making it out.

He watches as Donghyuck gets through SFS’s defense line seconds before the timer goes off and scores the winning goal. The referee blows the whistle and suddenly the volume gets switched on again. Jisung feels the ground trembling from the crowd, which howls in unison and before he knows it he’s on his feet, running towards the field, towards Donghyuck.

Jisung leaps straight into his arms, almost knocking him onto the ground but Donghyck manages to catch him. Jisung feels a pair of arms wrap around his middle and squeeze him tightly. He almost melts. It’s comforting inside Donghyuck’s embrace. It’s warm and it’s comforting and he never wants to let go. Donghyuck’s ragged breathing against his neck, his sturdy hands unintentionally digging into Jisung’s sides like he’s trying to keep him as close as possible — he craves it all for as long as he’s allowed to have it.

Donghyuck resurfaces from the juncture of Jisung’s neck and looks like he’s about to say something when the rest of the team tackle them onto the field. Jisung gets crushed under the heft of thirteen bodies but the weight of Donghyuck’s head, which ends up on his chest, makes him relax. Donghyuck can probably hear the way his heart is pounding, trying to escape its confines — Jisung lets him, running his hand through Donghyuck’s unruly hair. This is what happiness is supposed to feel like.

The chaos dies down eventually when the spectators leave the field, the only sign of them ever being there is the air, which is still buzzing with the leftover fumes of their excitement. Donghyuck is the first to emerge from the dressing room, hair still damp from the shower. Jisung has to surpass the urge to run his hands through it once again. It seemed appropriate back on the field when adrenaline was coursing through their veins but now when it’s just the two of them — the cool autumn breeze hitting the backs of their necks — the short distance is too jarring. Crossing it would mean succumbing to his well hidden desires and Jisung is not quite ready for the world to see him at his most vulnerable.

“You look spaced out.” Jisung startles at the words, noting that the distance between their bodies had somehow shortened.

“I guess I am.” smiles Jisung, eyes glued to Donghyuck’s bare face. “Congratulations on your win, hyung. You looked like a God amongst men on that field.” 

“Don’t humble me so much.” grins Donghyuck. “I couldn’t have done it alone, so thank you . You worked hard, Jisung.” Donghyuck reaches a hand and ruffles Jisung’s hair, who looks down at the ground, cheeks burning from the sudden touch. He’s taller but Donghyuck’s presence is bigger, brighter. It makes Jisung want to shrink, to be held like something precious inside these warm, coarse palms.

“I didn’t do anything. You should thank Chenle, your teammates.”

“Remember this?” asks Donghyuck, pulling out the good luck charm from under his shirt. 

“It’s just a silly necklace.” it’s not, but Jisung doesn’t know how to act in the face of sincere gratitude so he denies it. Mark and Jaemin would talk his ear off about it later but insecurities and bad habits don’t get rid of overnight. 

“No, it’s not.” Donghyuck grabs Jisung’s hand and lays it over the amulet, over his chest. “I wore this because you asked me to and we emerged victorious. Half of this win belongs to you. Do you hear that?” Jisung nods, feeling the way Donghyuck’s heart is beating like a janggu drum. “I was able to keep calm because of this ‘silly necklace’ , so thank you, Jisung. For looking out for me and the team.” 

Donghyuck’s smiling and how could Jisung not smile right back? 

Chenle clears her throat, which makes Jisung jump back slightly, letting go of Donghyuck’s hand. She’s looking at them with an amused glint in her eyes, arms crossed in front of her chest.

“Are we heading out?” she asks.

“Where?” 

“To Hyuck’s house? We’re celebrating our first win of the season.” 

One second Donghyuck’s house is shaking from the music getting blasted through the speakers and the feet stampting to its beat, the next they’re all gone and it’s quiet, ghastly, so. 

The clock over the TV strikes 4:48 when the last person remaining shuts the door and makes Jisung realize that he’s once again alone with Donghyuck. The air is still buzzing, drenched in smoke and the unmistakable stench of sweat and alcohol — teenage rebellion. He’s about to excuse himself and leave when something stops him.

It’s not anything specific, really. It’s more of an amalgamation of his surroundings, a tangible mixture of everything in his line of sight — Donghyuck sitting on the counter, holding a plastic cup; Donghyuck under the lowlight of the living room chandelier, which makes him look a little eerie, a little bit out of this world — and all else that his senses are able to pick on. Jisung can hear a low ringing in his ears, can feel the little bit of alcohol he had drank sloshing in his empty stomach, can smell the cigarette smoke clinging to every surface — it’s all the things, which propel him to stay unmoving, feet glued to the sticky carpet.

Donghyuck is watching him with intent, the music still on but the volume considerably lower. It’s background noise. It’s a game of cat and mouse and Jisung is staying put instead of running off for the first time in his life. Donghyuck is not a predator and Jisung is not destined to fall prey under his grabby paws. 

When Donghyuck sees Jisung facing his gaze head on instead of averting his eyes like he usually does, it unlocks a part of him, the one previously guarding his fragile heart. 

“Come.” says Donghyuck and Jisung does. “You can crash here, I don’t want your parents to worry.”

It’s a little white lie meant to deceive no one but themselves. Jisung lives next door, he could easily walk the distance and sleep in his own bed but there’s something about being awake in the early morning hours, which has them craving company, closeness. 

Donghyuck leads him by the hand until they reach his room, flicking the night lamp on. For all the times he’s visited, Jisung’s never been in this part of the house. Being allowed this close to everything dear and near in Donghyuck’s life — it’s terrifying. It almost brings Jisung to his knees. It being the desire to mold with every object in this room, all, which has shaped Donghyuck into the man he is today, into the man he’ll be tomorrow and the day after.

“You can use one of mine if you want to change.” says Donghyuck, eyes pointing towards the pile of shirts on one of the chairs. His voice is quiet, much more muffled compared to earlier when the party was at its peak.

Jisung watches as Donghyuck opens the wardrobe in the far corner of his room and pulls out a pair of pajamas. The last thing Jisung sees before he turns away to give Donghyuck a sense of privacy is him pulling his shirt over his head and the beige binder underneath stretching over his broad back. 

“You can turn around, Sungie.” giggles Donghyuck under his breath.

Donghyuck looks soft under the scarce light of the bed lamp. His hair tousled, face flushed and bare. Jisung wants to stretch his hand and touch it, feel the bump of his nose, trace the little scar on his brow where no hair grows anymore, map out the shape of his cupid’s bow. Instead he lays down. They both do.

The mattress is soft or maybe Jisung is too tired, his body sinking deeper into the light blue sheets. They’re facing each other and to Jisung’s quiet dismay this is the closest they’ve ever been. Their breaths are mingling and maybe it’s the proximity or maybe it’s Jisung’s imagination but if he strains his ears he can almost hear their hearts chasing after one another until they start being in the same rhythm. Until they’re one.

Donghyuck’s eyelids are droopy but his gaze is clear, fixed on Jisung, on his every little movement. His brows furrow before he reaches a hand and settles it on Jisung’s neck, right next to his ear. Jisung freezes.

Donghyuck’s touch is warm, skin sizzling like the surface of an oven left on for far too long, seconds away from bursting into orange flames. The feeling is welcome, however. It makes Jisung want to press further instead of flinch away in pain.

"When did you get these done?" asks Haechan, hand playing with the small, colourful hoop hanging from Jisung’s ear.

"This summer." whispers Jisung, not trusting his voice enough to speak out loud.

"Hmm, didn't take you for the piercing type of guy.They suit you, though."

“Thanks.” Jisung can feel his eyes beginning to shut, the weight of his lids almost unbearable.

Before he drifts to sleep Jisung feels soft lips pressing against his sweaty forehead followed by Donghyuck mumbling something inaudible. Jisung wouldn’t mind burning alive if it’s inside Donghyuck’s arms.

He wakes up alive instead, head pressed against Donghyuck’s heaving chest, the afternoon sun shining over their tangled bodies. He falls asleep again.

🧚

Summer is lively and kind but Spring is even kinder.

Once the heavy piles of snow melt into the brown soil and mild breeze replaces the roaring zephyrs, which accompany Winter anywhere she goes, Jisung decides to invite Donghyuck to his house for the very first time. 

With practice and the team qualifying for Nationals the thought had completely failed to cross Jisung’s mind. That is until his own moms pointed it out one evening during dinner. Jisung had mentally slapped himself and then proceeded to rush to his room where after psyching himself up for five minutes he had texted Donghyuck — inviting him over the weekend.

Jisung had become a constant resident of Donghyuck’s living room, the left corner of the couch shaped after him. He’d even met Donghyuck’s parents a few times, both lovely people who didn’t hesitate to make room in their hearts for Jisung to settle comfortably in. Now it was his time to receive Donghyuck with open arms.

It’s almost quiet in Jisung’s backyard save for the wind brushing over the tips of the grass blades and a song playing somewhere from afar, the current barely carrying it over. The words are indistinguishable but the melody is soft, timid. It fits right in with the afternoon sun shining over them.

Jisung likes hanging out with Donghyuck. He likes it a whole bunch.

They’re both laying on an orange blanket on the ground, the sky clear as a mirror over them and if they stare at it long enough maybe they’ll be able to see through the universe's heavy cloak — the one, which hides sights unseen and creatures unknown.

Spring is alive in subtle ways. It’s not hustling and bustling like Summer, nor does it feel like a cold punishment; it’s rebirth. It’s making peace with the fact that this time around next year Donghyuck won’t be on a walking distance from Jisung’s home and being okay with that fact. Getting to know Donghyuck over the course of the past few months made Jisung realize no more than three things but, oh, aren’t they just plenty? No, Donghyuck is not a vampire and no, Jisung is definitely not unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him but he does feel something, which goes beyond the initial idolization.

First — being in Donghyuck’s presence is like sleeping with a quilt on during Summer. It’s overbearing in its weight but once you sweat it all out you feel oddly grounded, closer to the soil, to the Earth’s core. It’s a chance to connect to your roots, grow out at your own pace but with the peculiar reminder that someone is by your side during the process, supporting you, nurturing you.

Second — Donghyuck is quiet. When it’s just the two of them they spend long periods of time without speaking. The silence is never unpleasant though, it is rather healing. It gives them both time to exist without the constant pressure to move forward, to advance in the silly game called life. Taking a break from their otherwise hectic lives is a needed moment of inertness, a chance to cleanse their minds and resume their routines revitalized.

Third — though corny and seemingly superficial — Donghyuck is beautiful. He’s evolved gradually over the years — boyish looks shaping out into handsome features — but spending so much of their time together made Jisung see just how everchanging Donghyuck’s face is.

The Donghyuck whose hair is a mess in the early morning, the Donghyuck who lets Jisung watch him shave the sparse hairs on his chin and upper lip, the Donghyuck who’s sweaty after practice but still wears a smile bright enough to outshine the sun, the Donghyuck who bites his nails and brushes his teeth thrice a day, and the one who eats like it’s his last meal, and plays soccer like it’s a game of survival and holds Jisung in his arms like there is no tomorrow — it’s all Donghyuck. It’s all the different faces, which make up the person he is. And he is beautiful, beautiful beyond a doubt, beyond all reason, not that Jisung needs one to justify his feelings because he doesn’t. 

“I think your moms are home.” says Donghyuck, turning around so him and Jisung are face to face. They do that a lot. Staring at each other soundlessly, soaking in the sight of the other until it’s permanently tattooed to the back of their eyelids, until they can see nothing but the other when they fall asleep in separate beds. Maybe it’s just Jisung who does it.

The blanket under their bodies is soft like a cloud and Jisung doesn’t want to get up. He wants to stay next to Donghyuck for a few more seconds, to trace the shape of his freshly shaved head and the bandaid on his chin, which covers a small razor cut he got while shaving a couple of days back. He’s allowed to do it. Donghyuck always stares right back with the same intensity. Even if it means something wildly different for him it’s still an equivalent exchange. 

“Do you want to meet them?” asks Jisung at the end, caving under Donghyuck’s gaze and breaking eye contact. Donghyuck nods.

They’re quick to gather the blanket, as well as the paper wrappers and plastic bottles, which they throw out on the way to the back door. When they enter Jisung’s house Donghyuck feels a sudden gust of warmth washing over his body. It’s still cool outside and it definitely isn’t much better inside but there’s something about the hand-knitted carpets and mostly wooden exterior of Jisung’s home, which makes it feel welcoming.

In the kitchen corner sorting out groceries are two women, who Donghyuck has only heard about and seen a couple of times in Jisung’s phone gallery. They’re both tall, towering even over Jisung. Two seedlings, two tree branches weaved together, around each other, around Jisung and around this home. Sometimes a family is a sturdy trunk extending its strong boughs so that new leaves can bloom, grow on a safe distance from the ground. Once they decide to leave the fall would be soundless, rid of any pain. It’s that kind of love.

Donghyuck wonders what kind of a tree would Jisung grow into once he leaves their graces.

Donghyuck feels a sweaty hand clasp his before Jisung calls out to his parents, who hadn’t noticed them up until now. They turn around and Donghyuck feels both relief and laughter bubbling up inside his chest. They’re beautiful but, of course, they are. Jisung is a flower amongst weeds, a Magnolia petal seconds away from breaking off and falling onto the ground. It’s only given that beauty bears beauty.

What Donghyuck is not prepared for is familiarity, which eases his nerves.

“Ms Park, what a surprise.”

“Donghyuck,” says one of the women, a kind smile spreading on her face at once. ”I haven’t seen you in so long. You finally got a buzzcut, it really does suit you.”

“Thanks. I wanted to keep it long until we won Nationals but I thought why not.”

Jisung looks incredibly confused from where he’s standing. Donghyuck is quick to explain how he knows one of Jisung’s moms. As it turns out she’s the nurse who used to help Donghyuck get his testosterone shots done before the hospital moved her to a different clinic due to the lack of staff in the other part of the city.

They’re quick to invite Donghyuck over for dinner. Though both of them are sensible and level-headed, they’re also increasingly interested in getting to know “the boy their son won’t stop talking about” . Donghyuck finds the fact that Jisung is so open with his parents about their friendship adorable. Jisung, apparently, finds it humiliating. 

Donghyuck watches him in amusement as he keeps running his hands through his hair, cheeks growing redder by the second. Jisung’s moms are easy to be around and chatting with them is anything but a chore. They know just how to keep a conversation going without prying too much but still managing to get to know Donghyuck, showing genuine interest in him as a person, not just an extension of their son.

Taking a closer look Donghyuck can see just how much Jisung takes after them. He knows that Jisung is their biological son. Park Hyejin — one of Jisung’s moms, though Donghyuck was unaware of this fact until tonight — was one of the first trans people he’d met in the medical field. She was a huge support for Donghyuck when he first got on hormones and one of the few adults who could not only sympathize with him but actually understand him and help him grow into his identity. Donghyuck knew she had had a son before transitioning herself just not that that son was Jisung.

The more he looks at her face the more similarities he finds between them. 

Seeing Jisung interact with his parents feels invasive at first, it’s unexplored territory but as the night goes on Donghyuck can feel the branches shifting, making a space for him to lay down comfortably. You find yourself connected to the people you least expected to, in places you could have never imagined.

After they’re done with dinner Donghyuck helps out with the table before he gathers his stuff and prepares to leave. They have an early morning practice so he can’t stay much longer without losing valuable sleep. Jisung goes to the hallway with Donghyuck, watches him tie the laces of his shoes.

“You’re a crowd pleaser through and through, hyung.” Jisung’s voice is quiet, exhaustion seeping through. When Donghyuck looks up he can see his droopy eyes and the blush still colouring his cheeks. Donghyuck feels the sudden urge to kiss him.

“I’m just good at making small talk, that’s all.”

“That’s not true. They liked you, you know?” Jisung's smile is soft at the edges, a flower shrinking into itself once the sun sets down. “Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if they liked you better than me, their very own son.” 

Though tired Jisung’s voice has a teasing lilt to it. Donghyuck grins. Confidence looks good on him.

“That’s impossible actually.” proclaims Donghyuck.

“How so?”

“Because, Park Jisung, no person I’ve met is as lovable as you are.”

Donghyuck takes pride in moments like this. It’s thrilling in a way — stealing the breath right out of Jisung’s lungs, watching him choke on the words, which are trying and failing to make their way out of his mouth. Donghyuck knows he’s tip-toeing a fine line, which could make or break their relationship but the sight of Jisung’s stunned expression makes the risk worth while. They’ve got a way to go before they finally tip over the edge and find themselves unable to ignore everything unsaid, all the casual affection, the bed sharing, the quaint intimacy. Until then though Donghyuck is satisfied with being close, with playing a role in Jisung’s life. What’s meant to happen will happen eventually.

“Don’t say that.” sighs Jisung at the end, handing Donghyuck’s backpack over to him.

“No promises.”

When Donghyuck gets up Jisung is already waiting for him with open arms. Donghyuck collapses right into them, head nuzzling into Jisung’s neck. They stay like that for a while. The hushed sound of the TV from the living room, night’s sorrowful song, a clack of plates — Donghyuck wishes these vines of hands, which Jisung has circled around his shoulders, would never unwind. 

Before they break off Donghyuck feels something soft against his head. The feeling is gone so quickly he might as well have imagined it but judging from the mortified look on Jisung’s face it definitely happened. A kiss soft as a feather, breathing heavy and uneven.

“Good night, Jisung.”

🧚

Bad things happen to good people.

Jisung can feel Donghyuck banging his head against the bus seat without having to look to his right. He’s too busy trying to eavesdrop on their coach whose face is starting to look redder by the second, voice growing in volume as she argues over the phone with the headmaster. They’re in the middle of a highway, cars and other vehicles honking angrily at the huge red bus, which had spontaneously stopped and seemingly refused to move an inch.

Jisung sighs softly and tries to recall how exactly they ended up in this situation. Just this morning the entire soccer team was loudly chattering, excitement seeping into their every word despite the early hour they had to take off at. They had qualified for Nationals by beating SFS Academy fair and square and were supposed to head towards Seoul early so they’d get there on time for the opening ceremony. The capital was just a four hour drive away but it was important to get there on time so they could register as a team, otherwise they would not be allowed to participate.

Everything was going according to schedule. No one was late. The entire team seemed more excited than anxious, partially due to Jisung’s good luck charms but mostly because their hard work had paid off and they’d finally ceased the chance to stand on the big stage. Donghyuck had been fighting tooth and nail to get them there for the past three years and it was finally their time to shine. That is until the bus decided to spontaneously stop in the middle of the highway.

It’s been about half an hour since their ride to Seoul decided to halt with no explanation and by the looks of it the stillness is starting to get to everyone, even Donghyuck. Their coach immediately called the headmaster but judging by the equal parts angry and annoyed look on her face, as well as her loud voice carrying through the entire bus things weren’t looking up for them. 

In theory they wouldn’t be having their first match until tomorrow afternoon, however, not signing up by 12 today means they’d be disqualified for not showing up at the designated time and place.

Jisung finally musters up the courage to look at his right where Donghyuck is sitting hunched up. He has his face in his hands and seems to be murmuring something, which Jisung can’t quite register but the sight alone makes his stomach turn up.

Bad things happen to good people. 

Jisung doesn’t want to see Donghyuck’s efforts go to waste over their schools inability to provide a functioning vehicle. It’s a joke of the cruelest nature. 

Jisung looks around to make sure no one has their eyes on him before he taps the sole of his left foot down twice. The commotion builds in volume before it ceases completely and the only person moving and breathing is himself. There’s the familiar burst of light, which comes with teleporting and suddenly Mark and Jaemin are hovering over him.

“What’s wrong?” asks Jaemin worriedly, their eyes scanning over their current surroundings. Even in stop motion the heavy sheen of gloom, which had started growing heavy like a river boulder about to crush everything in its way is evident. 

“The bus stopped.” says Jisung nervously chewing on his lip. “I’m sorry. I know you guys are supposed to have a day off but — fuck. I don’t think we’ll get there in time and if we don’t register we won’t be allowed to play and everyone’s hard work would go down the drain and —”

“Hey.” says Mark, putting their hand on Jisung’s shoulder and sprinkling a bit of their fairy dust on the tense parts of Jisung’s neck and back. When Jisung relaxes they continue speaking. “It’s no big deal, okay? It happens. That’s what me and Jaemin are here for.”

“Just say the words, Jisung.”

“I want for us to get to Seoul as quickly as possible.” 

Maybe it’s the ambiguous nature of Jisung’s wish or Jaemin and Mark’s less than average knowledge about human made vehicles but a second later there’s a loud blaring noise and suddenly the whole bus is starting to drift up in the air. Jisung looks around in panic because everyone is moving once again but they seem to be completely unaware that the bus they’re in is suddenly levitating.

Mark and Jaemin are dangling from Jisung’s lobes and if Jisung wasn’t on the verge of passing out he’d give them a hushed scolding about how they should stop putting him under such nerve-wrecking circumstances out of the blue. 

“We’re sorry, Jisung.” whispers Jaemin, their voice sounding genuinely apologetic. “To our knowledge the fastest way of traveling is by flying. You should have been more specific.” 

“It’s fine.” whispers Jisung right back. 

He can’t blame them. Minor wishes can’t be undone until they’ve run the full course of what they are summoned to do. Magic is magnificent, indeed, but all things — especially just ones — come with certain drawbacks, which means Mark and Jaemin can’t do much but wait for the bus to land. They are quick to reassure him that they’ve cast a charm so everyone else can’t see the fact that they’re soaring through the sky. 

Jisung’s not sure if everyone’s memory was wiped or if they’re just too scared to say something in case the bus stops moving again. He tries to look at their faces to calm down. They’re not best friends by any means but being the manager unintentionally forced Jisung to make more connections, to get to know people. He looks at Chenle who is sitting on the neighbouring roll, a wide smile stretched on her face as she converses with the team’s other goalkeeper — Felix. She looks overjoyous while he’s a blushing mess. They look good together, he thinks. Chenle’s been trying to drop subtle hints that she’d like for Felix to take her on a date but the boy was either too oblivious or too scared to take a leap of fate. 

Jisung doesn’t get to look at the rest of them because a familiar voice speaks up.

“Are you okay?” asks Donghyuck, eyes fixed on the way Jisung is squeezing the cushion of the seat in front of them, his knuckles white.

“Fine, just — motion sickness.” Donghyuck gives him a weird look, as though he can see right through his little white lie but he doesn’t say anything. “I won’t throw up on you or anything but I will look like a sheet of paper until we land — I mean, until we arrive. Yeah.” 

Jisung wants to slap himself for slipping like that. He’s always been a bad liar, especially under pressure. His miserable attempt at diverting Donghyuck’s attention from the current situation — it being them about a hundred feet over ground, puffs of clouds surrounding them from all sides — had completely turned around on him but Donghyuck seems to either buy it or to be sensible enough not to say anything.

It’s not like he had lied to Donghyuck, it is at least a half truth. He doesn’t get motion sickness but being so high up in the air does little for his tendency to panic over everything. Mark and Jaemin wouldn’t let them fall but that fact is seemingly not enough to put Jisung’s mind to rest. Instead it’s a mess of jumbled thoughts and all the possible scenarios in which they can crash and die.

“Here,” Donghyuck’s voice snaps him out of his panic induced mind frenzy. Jisung looks right and sees Donghyuck offering him an earphone bud, a sunny smile plastered on his face. 

“Thanks.” he accepts it warily at first but when a soft tune starts playing in his ear the nausea begins to disappear. The voice singing is by no means perfect but it’s confident and fills out the whole bus with its richness. It’s an unpolished gem, a little miracle waiting to be discovered.

“I didn’t know you could sing, hyung.” smiles Jisung. “You really are good at everything, huh?”

“Well, no one’s heard me sing before you, so.” 

If Jisung strains his ears enough he can almost feel bashfulness laced with Donghyuck’s words, the slightest bit of insecurity. On the spur of the moment decision Jisung reaches over and grabs Donghyuck’s hand, lacing their fingers.

“It’s lovely.” he whispers, eyes looking directly into Donghyuck’s. “I could listen to it for days on end.” 

With the music softly playing and Donghyuck’s hand in his Jisung gets the courage to look out through the windows and it's beautiful. The clouds are parting, making way for them to slide through smoothly. Soon they’ll arrive in Seoul and Jisung will get to see Donghyuck in his element once more. He’ll be on the huge field, all lights on him just how it was always meant to be. He’ll be a star and Jisung, well, Jisung will be there to see him shine even if it leaves him blind. Especially if it does.

Donghyuck falls asleep shortly after, the reality of the situation and the months spent training tirelessly finally crashing onto him like a tsunami wave. When his eyes close and his head tilts before falling completely Jisung’s bony shoulder is there to cushion the fall. Jisung can feel Donghyuck’s short hair brush against his neck, tickling it slightly. Their hands are still clasped together when Jisung allows himself to fall asleep as well — head resting on Donghyuck’s. 

🧚

They’ve played on full sized fields before. The school has an off campus one, which they visit whenever a possibility arises but since it’s located outdoors they can’t use it during winter. They’ve also played a few practice matches against other teams but still, this one feels so much bigger. Seoul truly is a metropolis, a sight to behold.

Jisung sits on the bench, leg jittery as he tries and fails to take in the scene unfolding before him. The field is 100 meters long and about 70 meters wide but the mass of people at the bleachers screaming their lungs out and the general atmosphere created by the speaker’s excited voice, as well as the sound of the clock ticking makes it feel colossal, grandiose. It’s almost like the abode of the Gods, like Jisung had wished for the stadium to move, to stand tall and proud at the peak of mount Olympus.

He clutches the little notebook he uses to write down the team’s statistics as the final game of the season, the final game of Donghyuck’s high school career takes place right in front of his eyes. The score is 1-1 when the referee calls overtime and everyone starts yelling even louder, voices raining onto the green field like silver bullets. If the team is the spear, trying to tear down everything and everyone in its wake, then the audience is the cannon. Not the shield because this game is way past the need for a defense, no, they’re the canon and their voices are the cannonballs falling heavy onto the opposing team. It’s a bloodbath. It’s forcefully grabbing the reins of the present, avenging the past humiliation, rising up through the sheer force of will.

Everyone on their team is in top form and while they might not have the highest amount of individually skilled players they’re in possession of something, which has carried them through the matches so far without a fail — the ability to endure. It’s a result of the trust they’ve built in one another, the knowledge that even if their opponent manages to get past Chenle, Donghyuck will score the point right back without a fail. Donghyuck doesn’t carry the whole team, far from it, but he’s a leader, a stepping stone. In other words, he is the reason the rest are able to keep going even when all seems hopeless. Playing alongside him — it would make anyone want to give it their best shot and then some more because being one of Donghyuck’s teammates means shooting not for the top, no, it means shooting for all that’s way beyond it.

Finals are ruthless because the game evolves from something purely physical to awaiting for the other team to break under the pressure, to make the wrong movement, allow just the tiniest gap to slip through, the chance to be ruined from the inside out. It’s fascinating to watch.

Unlike last time the cheers don’t suddenly die down at the end of the game, they continue to reverberate. Despite his perfect vision, however, it’s like Jisung doesn’t get to see the last few minutes of the game. It all happens right before his eyes but his mind refuses to comprehend it.

The blur clears out when he sees Donghyuck lifting a fist in the air and hears the deafening sound of a whistle.

Jisung doesn’t leap, he can’t find the strength to. He walks towards the team slowly and once he finally reaches them he feels two arms grabbing him by his sides. He’s ready to be pulled into a hug but instead Donghyuck lifts him up, spins him around a couple of times as the commotion grows in volume, cameras clicking left and right. So that’s what it feels like. To be in the very centre of a supermassive black hole, everything and everyone getting pulled in your orbit. Donghyuck is not a dying star, however, and neither is Jisung. They’re just starting to learn how to shine.

The smile on Donghyuck’s face is so brilliant, lips stretched wide enough for his face to burst at the seams. He’s beautiful. More beautiful than the clouds Jisung has walked on, more beautiful than the creatures at the bottom of the ocean, the ones flying in space as they search for a home. They don’t come even close, not by a long shot. Jisung can’t help it. When Donghyuck puts him down he grabs the sides of his face and kisses him. He kisses him like he’s never been kissed before, like he’ll never get the chance to kiss him again.

The action surprises them both, more so Jisung even though he was the one to initiate it. He pulls away, hands trembling, a million apologies about to spill out of his mouth when Donghyuck pulls him back in. Time doesn’t stop. Jisung can still hear the loud cheers from the audience, the shutters of the cameras and his teammates hooting when they finally notice them but he doesn’t care. This is as perfect as it gets. Donghyuck’s hands around his waist, his own around Donghyuck’s shoulders — it’s not how he had imagined it but it’s enough. Perfection be damned. 

Donghyuck pulls away, his hair matted, sweat rolling down his skin. His cheeks are flushed and Jisung may or may not be seeing things but it seems like a galaxy has been locked behind his eyes. A champion. 

“Hey, you.” he says.

“Hey, you.” answers Jisung, running his hand down Donghyuck’s face.