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Keep your demeanor calm, act like nothing's wrong. The words echoed clearly in Brock's mind, bitter and heavy inside of him. He had spent the entire afternoon learning how to give up without a fight, how to ease a pokemon's mind so it's last moments would be peaceful before death.
Well, that's what it felt like anyway. The idea really being presented in this class was that some pokemon are too injured to help. Or their trainers couldn't afford the procedure and their professors were unwilling to sponsor such "extensive medical care." In these cases all the doctor or nurse could do was administer pain relieving medication to make the pokemon as comfortable as possible (so all it would feel was the chilling emptiness of death).
To Brock, the lesson was disgusting. He wanted to be a pokemon doctor to save pokemon, not let them die. And if he couldn't save them he wanted their trainers to know that he'd done everything he possibly could. He wanted the pokemon to know that he had fought for them. He wanted to be able to tell himself that he had lost the battle against his will.
Sure he knew he wouldn't be able to save them all, he knew pokemon would die. But he wanted the world to know it wasn't ok. He wanted the pokemon to understand that it's life meant something and people would miss it. He didn't want to put on a fake smile and act like it was fine.
Rage was starting to boil inside of him now. He was just starting to formulate a plan of turning around and having some choice words with his professor when a familliar voice stopped him in his tracks.
"I don't know Pikachu, but this is definitely Pewter City."
"Pika..."
"I know."
"Pi Pikapi, pikachuu chu pi."
Brock walked around the corner to see exactly what he expected, a boy with a cap and backpack, a yellow mouse pokemon on his shoulder. Both of them looked down at pokedex, presumably at a map neither of them could read.
"It's not all bad though." The boy said without concern. "Maybe we can find Brock before we leave."
Their backs faced away from him, Brock crept along quietly until he stood directly behind them. Then in a voice that could be considered only slightly deeper and louder than normal he said "You found me."
Both trainer and pokemon jumped two feet in the air, Ash scrambled forward and whipped around to face him while Pikachu preformed an impressive flip midair and landed in an aggressive battle stance.
He was still laughing when recognition registered with his old friends.
"Brock!" Ash said, somewhere between relieved and annoyed "You coulda died! Pikachu almost sent you blasting off."
Brock calmed himself with considerable effort. "I'm sorry, it was too good an opportunity to miss."
Ash glared, obviously trying not to look as tense as he was. Maybe Brock had scared him a bit more than he thought.
He sighed away the remnants of his mirth, "Really though I'm sorry. I'm glad to see you Ash, it's been too long."
The younger seemed to relax, looking tired but happy to see Brock. Pikachu's stance lessened only marginally, recognizing their friend but seeming unable to trust their surroundings. Ash actually bent down to pick it up, petting it slowly in an attempt to reassure it.
"It's good to see you too, man. We were actually gonna go looking for you tomorrow."
Brock smiled, feeling hesitant for some reason as Pikachu struggled out of Ash's grip to perch on the boy's shoulders, still surveying the terrain of the buildings all around them. Ash shook his head, like this was normal to him.
Brock laughed softly, trying to ignore the weird behavior "You should've told me you were coming, we could've met somewhere earlier."
"We just got in actually, and uh, it wasn't exactly a planned trip." He said clearly waiting for Brock to rib him for getting lost again. But Brock couldn't find the words, stuck on the distant feeling that something was wrong with the scene he was in. He didn't know what, but it had him treading carefully.
"Well what are you doing now? Wanna grab a bite to eat?"
Ash smiled, but it wasn't real. He shifted from one foot to the other, something pained and torn flashing across his face before he just says "I can't."
The feeling of wrong intensified and he became suspicious. "Why not? We're friends right?" he knew the answer, but he wanted the conversation to keep going.
"Of course we are! You're like my brother!" He waved his arms frantically, dismissing any other ideas. "I just- I have to- I have to go somewhere."
Brock frowns at the younger boy, "Go where?"
Ash continues to shift restlessly, like he should already be going "I'm not sure" He says, then rushes on"I thought it was here, everything felt Kanto and home and I thought I'd go stay with mom but I don't want to bring whatever this is to her and so that's why I stopped" He sighs, his whole body shrinking with the exhale. "I'm tired" He says to the floor like it is both the answer and the problem.
Brock frowns, looking at his friend closely. Slumped over with something heavier than fatigue or shoulder riding pokemon. Even Pikachu, trying to stand protectively on his shoulder had eyes that twitched in abnormal patterns and never stayed on one subject. Their state looked like something a night of rest alone wouldn't heal.
Over the many years they had known each other Brock had seen Ash trade more than one irritating personality trait for another. One such example was that he no longer complained or bragged about every aspect of his life, but instead would not admit to having any troubles outside of winning a pokemon league and -if asked- hadn't really done anything very remarkable aside from training a great team of pokemon.
The trick, Brock had learned, was to pretend you believed him.
"Well then come stay with me, I'll sneak you in the dorm and you can crash on my floor."
Ash shook his head. "The Pokemon Center has beds Brock."
"But does the Pokemon Center have breakfast."
They both perked up at that. "Well they don't have any of your breakfasts." he said with something of a sly smile edging onto his lips.
"The price is sleeping on my floor."
Pikachu seemed to think this was a great idea, sleeping on top of it's trainer no sacrifice for pokechow it had sorely missed. "Pika! Pikapi ka Pikachu chu pika."
Ash looked significantly less thrilled. "Wait a second. Am I really gonna sleep on the floor for food? Has it really come to that?"
"Pi." Pickachu said, nodding happily.
He groaned, then shot a pleading look to Brock. "Can't we just meet you in the morning?"
Brock's eyebrows furrowed together, the action making him look somber. "Not for my cooking." In his mind he ordered Croagunk to paralyze Ash and dragged him back to his dorm room. The game was teetering on an edge now, one wrong move and Brock's mask of lies would crack and concern would shine through and Ash wold retreat, backtracking and straitening and laughing, and he'd probably be gone before Brock really knew what had happened.
Ash sighed again, smaller and something more akin to a laugh this time. Pikachu nuzzled his cheek affectionately, a clear attempt to sway him "Pika Pikapi. Pika."
For a minute trainer and pokemon stared at each other. Finally, Ash closed his eyes and threw up his hands. "Alright yes, we thank you for your hospitality Brock, we'd be honored to stay with you." But he scrunched his face making it clear he was the injured party involved.
Brock laughed, only Ash would refer to himself with his pokemon as "we" when accepting an invitation. He slung his arm over the shorter boy's shoulder, Pikachu moving to perch on the boy's head. Ash shoved Brock, but not hard enough to actually move away.
Yes maybe Ash needed more help than a good night's sleep -maybe he wouldn't get that much on the floor anyway- but maybe a hot meal and a friend would help. Maybe someone fighting for him would mean something to him.
Brock didn't know. He wasn't sure if he'd ever know, if he'd ever really win or lose with Ash. All he knew was he had to try. He had to fight for his friend, even if it didn't really help. He was going to try anyway. For himself. For Ash and Pikachu.
He couldn't help if he didn't try.