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“Wanyin!”
It was too late. The beast had gotten him. It’s fangs sunk into his biceps and he could feel the venom coursing through his veins. Jiang Cheng winced in pain, gathering what remained of his spiritual energy into Zǐdiàn, enveloping the beast in deadly lightning and electrified the beast to death. The beast fell to the ground, jaw ajar and the tips of its fangs dripping in a mixture of poison and blood.
Jiang Cheng was trying to catch his breath but it was getting harder to breathe, as though something was constricting around his throat and pressing down on his chest. His head felt light, his world spinning. The Sect Leader kept his eyes on the beast, making sure it was dead before looking up when he heard his name being called.
A man in pure white robes with cloud motifs decorating his sleeves was flying on a sword towards him. His robes flew behind him as he rushed in his direction as fast as his sword could carry. Jiang Cheng recognized the man but his vision was starting to blur. The figure soon split into three in his vision.
“Wanyin!” Lan Xichen yelled, his tone anxious.
“Xi…chen…” and Jiang Cheng’s world went dark.
******** ********
Jiang Cheng heard whispering. Despite having just stirred, he held back the urge to snort.
He was used to being talked about behind his back. What’s there not to talk about?
He lost everything; he was belittled as a Sect Leader; his shī xiōng was always the better one between them. He’s heard it all.
Jiang Cheng shut his eyes tighter, trying to drown out the whispering but he managed to hear something else.
“…ounds are healing but why has he not woken up?” a familiar voice asked. It sounded worried for him. The thought almost made Jiang Cheng scoff. Was there anyone who would worry about him?
Then, he heard a sigh. “Wangji. I cannot lose him. If anything were to happen to him, I don’t think… I don’t think I would be able to survive.”
“Brother, be calm. Have faith in our healers. They will surely succeed in healing Sect Leader Jiang,” Lan Wangji replied.
… Of course. How could Jiang Cheng have forgotten?
If there was someone in this world who would worry for him, it was his lover, Lan Xichen.
Jiang Cheng stirred from his sleep, groaning as a throbbing sensation pulsed all over his body.
“Wanyin!” Lan Xichen was immediately by his lover’s side. He helped him sit up, using all of his inner energy to keep his hands from shaking. “Slowly.”
The piercing pain in his head made it hard for him to open his eyes. Jiang Cheng winced, holding his head in his hands, groaning in pain.
“Xichen… water…” Jiang Cheng rasped, his voice hoarse.
Lan Xichen shot Lan Wangji a look and his brother took the cup from the table. “Here. Drink slowly. Don’t rush.”
Lan Xichen helped Jiang Cheng tip his teacup, letting the man take sips. He drank three teacups of water before he felt his headache subside slightly, turning into a light throbbing instead.
“Thank you, Xichen.” He passed the cup back to Lan Xichen. “Why is it so dark?”
“…what?”
“Why did you blindfold me?”
When Jiang Cheng looked up after finally being able to open his eyes, the teacup in Lan Xichen’s hand fell, shattering into pieces with a loud sound. “Xichen?”
“Wan… Wanyin. You’re… you can’t see me?”
Hearing the tone of his voice, shaky and scared, something in Jiang Cheng’s stomach opened up and he felt himself drop into it. His shivering hands touched his bare face, feeling that nothing was obscuring his eyes.
Yet, there wasn’t anything he could see. Nothing except darkness.
“Xichen… I… I can’t see. I can’t see anything.”
Lan Xichen could sense the fear rising in Jiang Cheng’s voice, no matter how well hidden it may seem. Immediately, Lan Xichen pulled him close, wrapping him in an embrace so tight and firm that Jiang Cheng felt secure, even for that short moment.
“Brother-“
“Wangji, get shūfù. Now.”
Lan Wangji was instantly gone, flying out the doors in mere moments while Lan Xichen just hugged Jiang Cheng tighter, whispering and telling him he’ll be okay.
But Jiang Cheng couldn’t hear it. The only thing occupying his mind right now was that he couldn’t see. It was like someone had put a blindfold over him. The only time he allowed it was the only time he had lived to regret.
……
“It’s only temporary,” Lan Qiren announced after examining Jiang Cheng with the best healers in Gusu. The relief that washed over Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng was unexplainable like a weight had been lifted completely. “However, the poison from the beast was potent enough to have affected your sight. I wouldn’t put Sect Leader Jiang in the clear so soon. I believe it will be best if Sect Leader Jiang stayed in Gusu for the time being.”
With the suggestion out, everyone gawked at the old grandmaster. The first to react was Lan Xichen. “Yes, I agree with shūfù. With Wanyin’s sight-impaired, it’s best to stay by my side.”
“I don’t need–” Jiang Cheng stopped short. He didn’t need his sight to sense that Lan Xichen’s shoulder was drooping. “I don’t want to bother you. If I stay here, who would look after my sect?”
Lan Xichen took Jiang Cheng’s hands into his own, squeezing them in assurance. “Wanyin, if you do not wish to stay here, then I’ll go to Yunmeng with you. At the very least, let me stay by your side. I do not wish to leave you alone.”
Everyone stared at the loving pair. While it was known that both of them were in courtship with each other, seeing it with their own eyes was another thing.
Jiang Cheng opened his mouth – most likely to protest – but Lan Xichen silenced him with a finger to his soft lips. “You can’t say no. I am coming with you to Yunmeng or you will stay with me at Gusu. Wherever you go, I will follow.”
Lan Xichen held his hands firmly, determined to stand by his words. Jiang Cheng didn’t need to look (not that he could) at Lan Xichen to know that he wouldn’t back down. Jiang Cheng gave a resigned sigh and nodded. “Fine. I choose to return to Yunmeng.”
……
Lotus Pier was still as bustling as ever. The rambunctious disciples instantly dashed out to the lakes the moment their training had ended. If this was the Jiang Cheng before the events of Guanyin temple transpired, the disciples would have gotten whipped and punished to run several laps around Lotus Pier. Now, their Sect Leader wasn’t as strict as he used to be. Not to say that he would turn a blind eye at their training but he wouldn’t penalize them for acting their age. It was something that took a long time for him to learn, especially after witnessing his nephew step up to the Sect Leader’s position at such a young age.
“Wanyin, be careful. The tea is hot,” Lan Xichen said as he passed Jiang Cheng a cup of hot herbal tea.
“You don’t have to tell me that. I’m blind but I can still feel,” Jiang Cheng retorted.
“Still, I don’t want you to get burnt.” Jiang Cheng took sips, brows furrowing at the bitterness of the tea. “I’ve already added red dates into the tea. It shouldn’t be as bitter as the original recipe.”
“I know. It’s definitely much more drinkable than the first one you made me.”
Lan Xichen gave an embarrassed yet fond smile. “It is sure to be very effective. You’re starting to see shapes!”
“Shadows, Xichen. Put me in the dark and I’m as good as blind.” Lan Xichen took back the cup and when he turned back, Jiang Cheng reached out with his hands. He seemed to be feeling around for something and when he managed to touch Lan Xichen’s shoulders, Jiang Cheng followed them up to his face. The Jiang Sect Leader cupped Lan Xichen’s face, his thumbs brushing his cheeks and feeling his face.
It was strange for Lan Xichen to see Jiang Cheng’s eyes be unfocused when he was most accustomed to seeing his eyes sharp and determined, always focused on a goal and looking ahead.
The Jiang Sect Leader ran his fingers over the sharp edges of his facial bones, feeling every corner of the handsome face that was already ingrained in his mind. Jiang Cheng could picture the gentle smile when he traced those thin lips; the pretty, honey brown eyes when he felt the long lashes brushing against the tips of his fingers.
Fingers calloused from harsh training and cultivation caressed Lan Xichen’s face. Yes, Jiang Cheng could see him even if he was blind. He could see him by merely touching him. Yet, he still missed looking at those features.
Despite being able to part for weeks and not see each other on normal days, Jiang Cheng missed Lan Xichen now more than ever – when he’s closest to him.
Was it because they were so close now but he couldn’t see Lan Xichen? Even though Jiang Cheng was literally touching him, he still felt a certain emptiness that comes hand in hand with separation.
“I miss you…” Jiang Cheng whispered with a sigh.
“I am here, A-Cheng.”
“We are so close and yet I feel like the moment I let go, I am alone.”
Lan Xichen wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him close to him. “I won’t leave your side. Do not worry.”
A small smile spread across Jiang Cheng’s face, his body relaxing into the hug. “Mn. I know.”
……
Life without sight wasn’t as different as Jiang Cheng would have imagined. Rather, it was made so because his lover wouldn’t stop fussing about him. From dressing him to pouring his tea for him, everything was done by Lan Xichen.
In the morning Jiang Cheng would wake in Lan Xichen’s arms, wrapped tightly around his waist. Even when he feels himself opening his eyes, he was only greeted with darkness. It takes a while for his eyes to get used to the light streaming into his bed chambers before he can see shadows and shapes. The time he used to grow accustomed to this, is the time he used to snuggle closer into Lan Xichen’s chest, relishing in the warmth he so rarely wakes to.
From there, Lan Xichen would have long felt him stir in his arms and Jiang Cheng would be greeted with a gentle kiss, be it his temples, eyelids, lips, or cheeks – anywhere Lan Xichen could reach in that particular moment. Jiang Cheng knew his lover had long awoken before him but he was never forced to wake nor was he ever disturbed – Lan Xichen made sure of that.
“Good morning, Wanyin. Did you sleep well?” Lan Xichen greeted him. There was no need for sight for Jiang Cheng to know that he was giving him a gentle smile, as warm as the tender rays of the early sun.
“Morning…” Jiang Cheng yawned. “It’s time for me to wake up, Xichen.”
“Of course.” Lan Xichen got up, scooping the Jiang Sect Leader into his arms, and carried him to where the warm bath was, already prepared.
Jiang Cheng made a satisfied sound when his body was enveloped in the warm water, feeling the liquid slosh around his body. “Is it comfortable?”
The question made him grunt, his eyes closed as he slid further in. “Come. Let me help you.”
“You don’t have to trouble yourself. I can do this myself,” he protested.
A chuckle. “This is no trouble. I want to help you.”
“Suit yourself then.” Jiang Cheng gave up trying, knowing that nothing he says will stop him. He leaned his head back, tilting it up so it was easier for his lover to help him.
Lan Xichen began working his slender fingers through Jiang Cheng’s long, silky hair, combing through the locks and massaging his scalp. “Does it hurt?”
Jiang Cheng cracked his eyes open, staring straight at him yet focused on nothing in particular. He couldn’t see the smile that had fallen off Lan Xichen’s face. Lan Xichen knew his lover was temporarily blind but seeing Jiang Cheng looking at him yet not seeing him – it hurt. It hurt more than the person who lost his sight.
“No. It’s very comfortable.”
“Mn…”
Lan Xichen continued with the task at hand, using his musically trained fingers to bring comfort to the Jiang Sect Leader. Seeing the small smile on Jiang Cheng’s face, he felt a little relieved. “We’re done. Let’s get you dry.”
Lan Xichen lifted Jiang Cheng from the wooden bathtub, patting the scarred body dry and dressing him in one of his sect robes – lilac robes with long flowing sleeves and decorated hems paired with a belt that wrapped around his slim waist. “Sit down and I’ll comb your hair for you.”
A wooden comb, with its fine teeth, ran through Jiang Cheng’s hair, straightening out the stray curls from the wet hair. Tied or let go, Lan Xichen loved the feeling of Jiang Cheng’s hair in his hands. It was soft and always smelled nice, a light floral scent that seemed to linger around the younger man.
“Do you want it tied like usual?” Lan Xichen asked, gathering the ribbons and hairpins.
“As long as you don’t make me look like a fool, I don’t care,” Jiang Cheng answered, making the Sect Leader chuckle.
“Wanyin can only look handsome, never a fool.”
Jiang Cheng snorted, rolling his eyes. “You’re a fool.”
“Only for you.”
“Just tie my hair already.”
Of course, Lan Xichen didn’t miss the red tint of blush around Jiang Cheng’s cheek and ears. The sight was just much too adorable and it filled him with such warmth that he couldn’t help but smile brightly. He kissed the ends of the lock of hair he was holding, taking in that lovely floral scent (lotus, perhaps?) before braiding his hair and putting it up in the familiar side braids and bun Jiang Cheng was identified with.
Once he was done, Lan Xichen stepped back to admire his handiwork. The handsome figure in front of him never failed to take his breath away.
“You look dashing as ever, Wanyin. As expected as one of the top cultivation young masters,” he praised.
“Like you’re one to say, Xichen. You are at the top of the list, you know that,” Jiang Cheng retorted. “And I didn’t think you’d know about such gossip.”
“As Sect Leader, it’s important to know about the latest gossip, don’t you agree Sect Leader Jiang?”
“Sect Leader Lan, while I agree, I don’t think knowing the list of best-looking young men of the cultivation world is important.”
“Perhaps but it was interesting to learn about it. Still, no matter the ranking, Wanyin is always number one in my heart.”
Jiang Cheng felt the heat creeping up his face as he turned away – he assumed, in the right direction – away from Lan Xichen. “If you’re done spewing nonsense, I need to head to my study room.”
“As you command, Sect Leader Jiang.” The offhand comment made Jiang Cheng scowl deeper.
Lan Xichen took Jiang Cheng’s hand, wanting to lead the Sect Leader out of his room but he stayed rooted at the same spot. Immediately, he turned around, worry etched in his face. With his head bowed down, Lan Xichen couldn’t see his expression. “Wanyin?”
“You’re not my disciple and neither are you my servant. You are Lan Xichen, Sect Leader of the Lan Sect,” Jiang Cheng started, looking up. His grey eyes bore into Lan Xichen’s honey eyes as though he was truly staring into them. “I have no authority to command you and neither do I want to. You are my equal.” Lan Xichen blinked, surprised. “So you do not have to say such things like that because I will never command you… You don’t have to put yourself down like that…”
It bothered Jiang Cheng that he couldn’t see Lan Xichen’s expression right now. With how silent the man was, he didn’t know if Lan Xichen was offended or not. Anxiety pulsed inside his chest.
Did he say the wrong thing? Did he make Lan Xichen angry?
An apology was right at the tip of his tongue when he heard laughing. “Are you… laughing?” Jiang Cheng asked in disbelief. He was expecting something else, not laughter.
“Yes, I am.” The Lan Sect Leader cleared his throat after he had finished his bout. “I know you see me as your equal and I apologize if I may have offended you but I don’t think you understand.” Seeing Jiang Cheng tilt his head in confusion almost made him laugh again but he reigned it in. “Request, command; it doesn’t matter how you put it. If you tell me you’re having trouble, I will do all I can to help you. If you say that you want something done, I will have it done. It isn’t about commanding or submitting.”
Seeing as his lover still looked confused, Lan Xichen placed the hand he held over his chest, where his heart was. “I am not putting myself down. In fact, I feel like I’ve been blessed with the greatest honor of being able to help someone so dear to my heart. I am doing this because I want to help you; I am not doing this out of authority, Wanyin, but out of love.”
Jiang Cheng’s heart was beating too hard; he felt as though it might just beat right out of his ribcage. He could feel the wild thumping where Lan Xichen had placed his hand over.
It was beating just as wildly as his own.
“So, has my declaration eased your worries, even just a little? Or must I perform a physical demonstration of my love?” Lan Xichen questioned, a mischievous smile tugging at his lips.
Truly, Jiang Cheng could never win against such shamelessness. “Shameless…” he mumbled, face completely red.
“I am more than happy to be even more shameless for you,” Lan Xichen responded.
Jiang Cheng yanked his hand back, storming past his lover in embarrassment. “No need!”
Jiang Cheng knew his quarters well enough that he didn’t bump into anything as he marched towards his study room. Not that he made it far.
Lan Xichen quickly caught up with Jiang Cheng, lacing their fingers together. “I’m sorry, Wanyin. Don’t be angry, okay?” He apologized. “I’ll have the kitchen make you your favorite dishes for our meal later on, alright?”
The Sect Leader slowed down, unaware of the glances that his disciples were stealing in their direction. He was too preoccupied with his own embarrassment to realize that he was still outside and not in his study room yet.
Jiang Cheng, “…”
Lan Xichen, “…”
Spectators, “…”
Jiang Cheng, “…I want shuǐ zhǔ yú[1].”
Lan Xichen smiled. “I’ll have someone inform the kitchen.”
“You have to eat it with me.”
Lan Xichen’s smile didn’t falter but he broke out in cold sweat. Still, he squeezed Jiang Cheng’s hand. “Of course.”
“Hehe…” Jiang Cheng laughed softly, smiling blissfully. That smile made Lan Xichen felt as though an arrow had been shot straight through his heart and he steeled himself for tonight’s challenge.
The disciples watched as their Sect Leader was led to his study room by a man whose smile was so bright, it could have probably lit up an entire eastern residence.
“But Sect Leader likes his shuǐ zhǔ yú extra spicy.” One of the younger teen disciples voiced out his concern.
A senior disciple shook his head, putting his hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry about Sect Leader Lan. Love will help him through it.”
The younger disciple furrowed his brows. “How can that be?”
The senior disciple patted his shoulder. “You’ll learn when you grow older. For now, focus on improving your cultivation. Shī xiōng will help you.”
……
Without being able to see, work hasn’t been the easiest task. Lan Xichen did make sure that Jiang Cheng wasn’t overly burdened with the usual tasks of a Sect Leader. The things that needed his attention were read aloud by Jiang Cheng’s trusted right-hand man while those that can wait were put off until the Sect Leader regained his sight.
Jiang Cheng knew that Lan Xichen has been doing some of his work without his knowledge – most likely to help him lessen his burden. In Lotus Pier, where Jiang Cheng has eyes everywhere, Lan Xichen’s action didn’t escape the master of Lotus Pier. He took note of every task he helped complete, making sure he kept them in mind so that he may repay him one day.
It didn’t take long before Jiang Cheng’s tasks for the day finished since he can neither read nor write in the state that he’s in.
Jiang Cheng tapped his finger with a steady rhythm. “Is something the matter, Wanyin?” Lan Xichen asked.
Jiang Cheng shook his head. “Nothing much. I just feel restless.”
Lan Xichen smiled his response. “You’re always so preoccupied with the matters of your sect and Sect Leader Jin’s that you rarely take the time to care for yourself. Now that you can’t do more than usual, it’s not strange that you would feel restless. People who are usually busy all day would never know what to do when they have free time on their hands.”
“I don’t see you being restless. You’re as much as a workaholic as I am, Xichen. Don’t deny it,” Jiang Cheng retorted.
Lan Xichen hid his laugh behind his sleeves. “Perhaps you can use this time to relax and do something else. Or not do anything at all. Not to mention, you’re still healing from the wound the beast inflicted on you. You need to rest.”
Jiang Cheng scoffed. “Doing nothing only makes me more restless.”
“Wanyin…”
Hearing the pleading tone, Jiang Cheng sighed in defeat, head resting on the table. He reached out – Lan Xichen took his hand immediately – and laced their fingers together. “Perhaps a song would help me get into the resting mood.”
A smile spread across Lan Xichen’s face and Jiang Cheng – even though he couldn’t see it with his own eyes, he could see it in his memories. The Lan Xichen in his memories was always smiling and even now, he knows he’s smiling. That in itself gave Jiang Cheng a comfort he never knew he would be blessed with.
The two Sect Leader finished up whatever work was left and Lan Xichen guided Jiang Cheng to the pavilion that sat in the middle of the lotus lake. It was close to the cold season so the lotuses weren’t in bloom.
This pavilion held some of the bitterest memories for Jiang Cheng, often finding his parents arguing about the smallest of matters, though it mostly involved him and Wei Wuxian. But, Lan Xichen, time and again, brought Jiang Cheng to this very pavilion, overwriting those bad memories with good ones.
With both of them seated, accompanied with hot cups of tea and snacks, Lan Xichen took out his gǔqín. Placing his slender fingers over the strings, he began plucking and strumming. The timbre notes projected from the strings, each note resonating with perfect intonation. Jiang Cheng knew it was a song made to relax and repair uneven chi flow.
Not that he needed such a song.
Being with Lan Xichen was more than enough to help him be at ease. His very presence was more than enough to steady his chi flow.
Because that was how much Lan Xichen meant to him.
”As usual, your playing is beautiful,” Jiang Cheng praised. “I could never get tired of this.”
“I will never tire of playing for you.” He plucked at the higher note and Jiang Cheng could just feel the affection in the song. He knew this song wasn’t a love song of any kind but every time Lan Xichen played for him – be it the xiāo or gǔqín or any other instruments – Jiang Cheng could tell how much Lan Xichen adored him. Each note was laden with love and as much as it was embarrassing to admit it, Jiang Cheng loved hearing him play, especially if it was for him.
Jiang Cheng opened his closed eyes.
He held back the gasp, blinking several times to make sure his eyes weren’t playing tricks on him. To make sure he was really seeing.
He winced at the sudden brightness, the sight of Lan Xichen plucking the strings of his gǔqín greeting him. It was bright.
Lan Xichen was truly like the chancellor of the sun.
The song soon ended. Jiang Cheng blinked and he was enveloped in darkness again (not completely but he couldn’t see Lan Xichen anymore). The sudden change shook him and he tried not to let it show but Lan Xichen knew better.
“Wanyin? Is something wrong?” he asked, moving to sit next to him. He pulled the younger man closer to him, almost embracing him.
“For one moment, I saw you. The Song of Healing worked for a while,” Jiang Cheng answered. “I think my chi flow is getting better.”
“…But I wasn’t playing the Song of Healing. Though I am glad that the Song is helping you!”
“Then, what song were you playing?”
“It was a love song for you.”
Jiang Cheng was gobsmacked. He’d been listening to this song for such a long time and he always thought it was the Song of Healing because it always helped him relax.
“The composer…” Jiang Cheng trailed off. He had an inkling of who the composer was.
“Is me,” was the answer he received.
Of course.
“Are you that happy?” Lan Xichen’s tone lilted with playfulness.
Without even realizing it, Jiang Cheng had smiled, feeling himself to be full of warmth and so loved. He never thought he would be this loved – so loved that he was now in tears. “Wanyin?!”
Jiang Cheng buried his face into Lan Xichen’s shoulder, salty tears wetting the soft fabric of his robes. “Yes. Yes, I am that happy, you idiot!” Jiang Cheng hit his shoulder half-heartedly. “Know that you’re the only one I’m going to fucking cry over like this. And wipe it from your memory after this.”
Lan Xichen laughed softly. “Which do you want me to do; remember it or forget it?”
“Both!”
Lan Xichen hugged Jiang Cheng tighter. “I don’t think I can forget this. I won’t ever forget anything you tell me, anything you do for me. I’ll remember it all. I’ll play for you every day, even after you can see again.”
“You’re so shameless…” Jiang Cheng’s muffled voice sniffled. “Do you promise?”
Lan Xichen tilted Jiang Cheng’s chin up, leaned down and pressed a kiss on those soft lips. “I swear it, Wanyin.”