Work Text:
DW: What the hell was that?
SM: Can’t you tell?
DW: Are you actually for real?
SM: Last time I checked.
DW: I can’t believe you sent me a dick pic while I’m at the movie theater. Sitting next to Sara. A child.
SM: You’re not still sitting next to her, are you?
DW: No, you numbskull, I’m out in the hallway, lurking like a creeper and looking at that pic you sent.
SM: Then there’s nothing to worry about.
DW: Oh, I’m still worried.
SM: Why? You’ve seen Mulan a zillion times. Maybe even more than Charlie.
DW: It’s the new one, and that’s besides the point. You should have seen the look Abby gave me when I got up.
SM: Maybe you just needed to use the bathroom, what’s the big deal?
DW: I guess it might have been the sound I made before I got up that got her attention.
SM: Surprised you, huh?
DW: You could say that.
SM: I thought everyone sexted.
DW: What are you, twelve? We’re public servants.
SM: As if that ever stopped anyone.
DM: What if someone sees our phones? What if the governor sees our phones? What if you sent this on the group text by mistake?
SM: Please, I’m not the one that keeps using the group text by mistake. Plus I bet Tani would get a kick out of it.
DW: I am so not going there. Let us hold on to just a shred of professionalism and respect for our teammates.
SM: You didn’t like it even a little? I bet you did.
SM: Danny?
DW: I liked the idea behind it.
SM: See? Goal accomplished. You should come back to the hotel now.
DW: I can’t do that, the movie isn’t over.
SM: I’m bored.
DW: You could have come with, you said you had a headache. And not the sexy kind.
SM: I did have a headache. This one-eyed thing sucks and I keep squinting. But I bet you could make me feel better ;)
DW: I’m not leaving in the middle of the movie, they’ll think there’s a crisis.
SM: Crisis in my pants?
DW: Are you sure this text hasn’t been taken over? Is this the group text? Tani, show yourself or I’ll fire you.
SM: You can’t fire her.
DW: Until you come back home, I’m still in charge. I can fire her if I want.
SM: But you wouldn’t.
DW: Depends whether she is giving me shit on the group text.
SM: It’s not Tani, it’s me. I’ll prove it.
DW: Oh my god, you did not just do that.
SM: Figured that would prove it was me.
DW: Yeah, I guess it does. Unless Tani has them stored up somewhere.
SM: How the hell would Tani have multiple pics of my cock?
DW: She’s resourceful, I don’t know.
SM: I’m feeling like your focus is in the wrong place, here.
DW: Hey – I’m standing in the hallway of a movie theater surrounded by kids, talk about the wrong place.
SM: So come back to the hotel.
DW: I can’t come back to the hotel right now, I told you.
SM: Danny…
DW: But I might be able to help you out.
SM: You’ll send me a pic?
DW: I’m not about to pull down my pants and take a pic for you in the movie theater bathroom. Gross.
SM: So, then… what?
DW: Tell me what you’re wearing.
SM: You just saw me an hour ago, you know what I’m wearing.
DW: Do you want to play this game or not?
SM: Ok, fine. I’m wearing your NJPD t-shirt that you always bring when you come to rescue me, and gray sweatpants.
SM: Danny? You still there?
DW: Sorry. I didn’t realize you noticed. I didn’t even realize I did it, actually.
SM: You do. Depends upon how you define rescue, I guess. But I definitely remember you bringing it when you came to get me in D.C. last year.
DW: You put it on when I was in the shower, and then I didn’t have anything to sleep in.
SM: That turned out ok, as I remember.
DW: You have a fascination with my chest hair that I truly don’t understand.
SM: You’re fuzzy. I like it.
DW: Every man’s goal.
SM: Fuzzy over your hard, hot as hell pecs. Is that better?
DW: Aw, yeah. Thanks.
SM: You wanted to kiss me that night in the hotel in D.C., didn’t you?
DW: What do you think?
SM: I think you’ve wanted to kiss me for about as long as I’ve wanted to kiss you.
DW: How long is that?
SM: Ten years, give or take.
DW: Sounds about right. And yeah, that night was pretty tempting. I definitely wanted to kiss you.
SM: Why didn’t you?
DW: I don’t know… you were so freaking sad. It didn’t seem right.
SM: I liked sleeping with you, though. Curled up like that.
DW: Me too.
SW: Didn’t even know how much I needed it until you insisted on crawling into bed with me.
DW: No way was I sleeping on the pull-out sofa.
SM: Because you flew all that way in coach next to a mouth breather?
DW: Because you were so freaking sad.
SM: Oh. Yeah. I was.
DW: Hey, Steve?
SM: Yeah?
DW: If you ever have to go off without me again, can you find a way to keep in touch? Like this time?
SM: I couldn’t, when I was looking for Doris. You know that.
DW: I’m just saying, it was a little easier this time.
SM: You mean the group text worked? Don’t tell Tani, she’ll gloat.
DW: I still missed the fuck out of you. But at least most of the time I knew you were in one piece.
SM: I don’t know if I can promise that.
DW: Think about it?
SM: Yeah, okay. I will.
DW: Thanks.
SM: You know what?
DW: What?
SM: I’m really glad you kissed me in the hospital. In front of Kono and the whole world. You finally did it.
DW: I did, didn’t I?
SM: I’m sorry I freaked out after. But I’m really glad you did it.
DW: The freak out was understandable.
SM: Still I’m sorry.
DW: It’s ok.
SM: Someone had to do it. It was brave.
DW: Let’s not overstate it. I wasn’t really thinking. I just couldn’t help myself.
SM: So you admit sometimes acting without thinking is a good plan?
DW: Again, overstating.
SM: But you’re glad you did it.
DW: Kissed you last week? Obvi. Maybe I should have waited, though. Until we could talk about it.
SM: Nope. We’re terrible at talking. We’d have just not done it again.
DW: True.
SM: Hey, Danny?
DW: Yeah?
SM: Is this how people usually sext? There doesn’t seem to be much sex involved.
DW: You’re an idiot.
*****
SM: Danny, you still there?
DW: Sorry, hallway got crowded. Black Widow just let out. Had to find a new spot to lurk.
SM: Fair enough.
DW: I’m good now if you want to, you know.
SM: Jerk off and think of you?
DW: Wow, romance is dead.
SM: And honestly I already did it.
SM: Danny?
DW: We are useless.
SM: I could be ready for round two in a little while. Come back to the hotel?
DW: How about you shower and change and meet us at Chin’s for dinner?
SM: That doesn’t sound sexy at all.
DW: Are you nuts? Chin is sexy as hell.
SM: This is definitely not how sexting is supposed to work.