Work Text:
September, 2020
TR: Junes, where are you?
JR: It’s not even six yet, I’m not late.
TR: I didn’t say you were late. Where are you?
JR: Are you at Steve’s? What’s wrong?
TR: You are exasperating.
JR: I can’t believe you bothered to text that word.
TR: Get your ass over to Steve’s, you don’t want to miss this.
JR: I’m at the liquor store trying to get all the stuff everyone asked for.
TR: I’m sorry, was my request too complicated for you?
JR: Compared to the usual list, yeah.
TR: Sue me for wanting something besides another six pack of Longboards.
JR: Why are you there already?
TR: I thought we were supposed to be here at five. But I’m glad I came early.
JR: Why?
TR: Because I’m being treated to the cutest sight in the history of Five-0.
JR: Did Eddie fall asleep in the bathtub again?
TR: Nope.
JR: Are there baby turtles on the beach?
TR: Nope.
JR: What’s the big deal?
TR: Our fearless leaders are curled up in the hammock in the backyard, snuggling together like two middle aged bugs in a rug.
JR: Danny sleeps there all the time.
TR: With Steve?
JR: Ah, maybe?
TR: Why haven’t you told me about this? Or taken pics?
JR: Don’t take a pic, that’s mean.
TR: Have you met me? I’ve already taken a dozen.
QL: Share, sister.
TR: In a sec. I’m trying to get a close-up.
LG: They’re not gonna be happy if they catch you.
TR: Got it. Here you go.
TR: [Photo - SteveandDannyhammock.jpg – 9.26.2020]
QL: Aww, so sweet! Look at how Steve is spooning Danny. And Danny looks so darling, like a little angel.
TR: Just like Charlie, right?
QL: Is it really true that his ex didn’t tell him Charlie was his? How could anyone not see it?
LG: Let’s not go there on the group text. Honestly, you people have no sense at all.
JR: Sorry to interrupt – Tani, if you are using this wine to make sangria, I can buy the cheap one that’s on sale, right?
TR: Junior, how can you be talking about wine at a time like this?
JR: I’m buying the cheap one.
TR: Wait, I think they might be waking up.
LG: I’m telling you, maintain a safe distance. Like maybe from the north shore.
TR: False alarm. Not awake. Danny just turned over and shoved his face into Steve’s neck.
QL: That doesn’t sound very nice.
TR: Not shoved. Maybe nuzzled. Yeah, there’s definitely nuzzling going on.
QL: Oooh, back to sweet again.
TR: They’re shifting a bit. Danny’s wrapping his arms around Steve like a mama bear protecting her overgrown cub.
QL: Maybe Steve was having a bad dream?
LG: Tani, leave them alone.
TR: Come on, I’m not doing any harm. Anyway, I don’t think it was nearly as romantic as all that. Turns out Danny was just trying to get to his phone.
DW: You guys all suck. We were just taking a nap.
LG: Naps are important when you reach a certain age.
DW: Fuck off, Steve had a rough day.
TR: Is he okay?
DW: Just sore, he’ll be fine.
TR: I know this is the group text and all, but that sounded really dirty.
DW: You never stop, do you?
QL: Someone had to say it.
DW: He’s sore from running, idiots. And maybe a little embarrassed.
TR: About running?
DW: He and Grace did the trail out to Makapuu Point, and she kind of kicked his ass.
LG: How’s that girl doing? Will we see her tonight?
DW: Sadly, no, she’s at Rachel’s now, and she’s heading back to school tomorrow.
TR: I get it, you had the place to yourself. Hence the adorable hammock time.
DW: Tani, I can’t help but point out that that you have chosen to hide in the house and text me instead of saying these things to my face.
TR: Just trying to give you your privacy.
DW: A little late for that, no? How many pictures did you take?
QL: She absolutely did not send me fifteen pictures of you and Steve snuggling.
DW: Text me the best ones, would you? Steve never lets me take pictures of him.
QL: Aww.
TR: Aww.
LG: Aww.
JR: Danny, is white rum okay?
TR: Junior, you are no fun at all. And no amount of talk about pina coladas is going to distract us from the overwhelming cuteness of McDanno.
DW: You’re lucky you didn’t get here earlier, it wasn’t exactly safe for work. By the way, Tani, what have I told you about getting here early?
TR: There may have been something about at your own risk, but what can I say, I’m a risk taker.
DW: Junior, did you not tell her the story about the whipped cream?
JR: No sir, I did not.
TR: Junior, what story? How did you not tell me?
QL: I can hear Tani whining even in text. That’s amazing.
JR: There is no story, and if there was a story, it would be classified.
DW: But the moral of the story is don’t get here early. Capisce?
LG: He’s warming up the godfather act. Tani, better step away.
TR: Don’t worry, I’m hiding inside with Eddie.
DW: Good strategy.
TR: I can still see you though, so
…
…
QL: You still there?
TR: Give me a sec.
JR: Is everything okay?
TR: Yes, I just couldn’t breathe from laughing my ass off.
QL: What happened?
TR: Steve woke up and tried to take Danny’s phone. Danny tried to keep it away from him. Things got a little rocky.
QL: Uh oh.
TR: Yeah. Let’s just say they didn’t exactly land the dismount.
LG: Everyone okay?
TR: Steve’s sitting on the ground holding his head and glaring at Danny. Danny looks like he can’t make up his mind whether to punch Steve or try to kiss it better.
QL: Go for the kiss, Danny. It’ll make a cuter picture.
TR: I don’t think he saw your text, but he’s taking your advice anyway.
QL: Aw.
TR: Yeah. Damn cute. And now they’re just curled up on the grass with Steve’s head in Danny’s lap. I think Danny is making sure Steve’s skull isn’t cracked. Or petting him. Possibly both.
JR: So they’re okay, right?
TR: Of course they’re okay. They just fell out of a hammock, not an airplane.
DW: Junior, are you still at the liquor store?
JR: Yes. Anything else you want to add to the list?
DW: Ice.