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It isn't that Anakin doesn't like being with Obi-Wan at the Jedi Temple, that's not it at all.
Anakin loves being at the temple, loves going to classes and learning ( relearning , a voice in his head reminds him, but Anakin doesn't pay much attention to that voice) everything he can. He especially loves the showers in the temple with water that isn't in danger of running out. A close second to the showers is when Obi-Wan teaches him to use his lightsaber.
He and Anakin had tinkered around with the hilt so that it could detach and make two separate lightsabers. At first Anakin wasn't firmly against anything that wasn't a saberstaff, but then Obi-Wan brought up the point that if he had two lightsabers, Ahsoka could help teach him Jar'kai. After that it was basically a no brainer.
(Anakin was also a bit too small to gracefully wield a saberstaff, but Obi-Wan didn't bring that up.)
All that being said, there are still bad days.
Days where he just can't fall asleep on the bed in his shared quarters, and he has to curl up on the familiar cold ground in order to get a good night's sleep. Days where he hoards food, sneaks whatever he can in the pockets of his new robes and tucks what can be concealed in the folds of the fabric. Days where he rations the food he hoards as though he won't get a chance to eat again. None of it is rational; Obi-Wan ensures that Anakin never eats less than three meals a day, and Ahsoka can be found slipping him various sweets whenever she gets the chance. None of it is rational, and yet on these days Anakin cannot shake the feeling that his beautiful new life will be ripped away from him.
There are other days, perhaps the worst of all of them, that send Anakin into a downward spiral. Days that trigger all of his old habits from Tatooine: the hoarding, the sneaking, the poor sleep patterns, the walking-on-eggshells as though one wrong move will land him a one way ticket back to slavery.
These days, the bad days that send Anakin right back to Watto's shop light years away from Obi-Wan, are the ones where every Yes, Master and Thank you, Master and I'm sorry, Master and MasterMasterMaster ping around in Anakin's head. The words slam into his brain and leave him reeling, because he's gone and he's free , and yet nothing has changed. He's still surrounded by Masters who say they know what's best for their slaves padawans.
Anakin is not a slave, and these are not those kind of Master, and yet he still ducks his head to avoid eye contact when passing these Masters in the halls, envelops himself into Obi-Wan's side like a leech.
Obi-Wan notices. Of course he does. He notices and, instead of saying anything, turns his head deliberately to the side when Anakin's fingers start to inch towards a spare fruit or two in the mess hall. Unseen, he lays a blanket on the ground where Anakin is prone to curling up so that he isn't laying directly on cold durasteel. He doesn't say anything when he finds a ration bar or five hidden between Anakin's bed and the wall, or when he finds a water bottle or seven crammed at the bottom of the bed Anakin never makes.
He never says a word and Anakin has never been more grateful for Obi-Wan Kenobi.
~
"Ah, Master Kenobi,"
Anakin flinches so hard it looks as if someone had grabbed him by the back of his robe and yanked.
It's easy to forget Obi-Wan is also a Master . Easy because Anakin doesn't think of him as one of those. He can't when he's seen Obi-Wan with a trail of drool connecting him to the couch in their quarters, or when he's watched Obi-Wan trip over droid parts and emit a sound no true Master would be caught dead letting out.
But just because it's easy to forget doesn't mean it isn't true.
Obi-Wan is a Master, an important one at that.
Anakin doesn't listen to Obi-Wan's conversation with Master Plo Koon. He can't focus on more than two words before his attention drifts to how sweaty his palms are and how much his skin itches beneath the collar of his tunics. His attention drifts to how out of place he is in the elegant hallway with it's soft carpet and enormous pillars that stretch up to a ceiling Anakin could never hope to reach. How out of place he is in the Temple's warm energy, almost like that of a hug.
Anakin doesn't deserve it, doesn't deserve to be welcomed into this lifestyle that is much too grand for a simple desert boy.
"Have a good day, Master Koon," Obi-Wan inclines his head in a polite bow, oblivious to how his words send the boy behind him into a riptide of panic.
"You as well, Master Kenobi,"
Anakin never stood a chance against his flight instinct. His feet are carrying him away from the two Masters before he even realizes what he's doing.
"Anakin?" Obi-Wan's voice is garbled in his ears, as if Anakin is being held under the water he has such little experience with.
He spins around a passing Knight and toppling into someone else.
"I'm sorry!" Anakin cries, whirling around to face the Padawan currently sprawled across the ground.
Oh, Force he hurt them, he hurt them.
"I'm sorry!" Anakin's hands reach out as if to help but suddenly jerk back. "I'm sorry," He whispers one more time before taking off.
Obi-Wan's footsteps sound closer so Anakin uses a bit of the Force to propel himself.
He can apologize later, he can beg for forgiveness, bear whatever punishment comes his way later. Anakin just needs to get away from the eyes that watch him in the hall and the once-warm energy that now feels suffocating.
Luckily for Anakin, one doesn't grow up on Tatooine without learning how to run fast and disappear even faster.
~
The Room of a Thousand Fountains probably doesn’t have one thousand fountains.
Well, Anakin has never counted. He’s tried, sure, but Anakin still isn’t that good with numbers. Obi-Wan has been sitting down with Anakin to help him learn basic maths other than plotting navigation courses and how to read, but it’s hard.
But anyways, Anakin doesn’t think there are actually one thousand fountains. There are definitely a lot, Anakin notes from his hiding place in a corner, but a thousand? It probably just wouldn’t be that cool of a name.
Anakin exhales slowly and tips his head back. His eyes slide shut and he tries to focus on just the water’s song as it streams through the fountain.
It’s embarrassing when Anakin thinks about the first time Obi-Wan brought him here.
“No!” Anakin had cried, thrashing furiously against Obi-Wan’s iron grip, “You’re wasting it! You’re wasting it, you’ll have none left!” Tears of frustration poured down his cheeks and his arms reached out towards the fountains.
How can Obi-Wan just watch as the fountains waste what little water they have? How can the Jedi just sit back and observe while other planets would kill to have a water supply like this?
Anakin was too caught up in his own head that Obi-Wan’s calm words didn’t register right away.
“- It’s not a waste, Anakin,” Obi-Wan whispered in his ear, calloused hands pushing his hair back, “We’ll still have enough water to drink, you don’t need to worry,”
His thrashing slowly lessened and his arms dropped to instead rest limply over Obi-Wan’s.
“It’s- We will?” Anakin wiped at his face and looked at the fountains, actually looked.
It was quite… peaceful. Fountains of all shapes and sizes, with benches and bridges and plants from all across the galaxy filled the room. Right at the center, the focal point of the room, was a waterfall.
“Yes, dear one,” Obi-Wan confirmed and released Anakin, “We will.”
The meditation that Obi-Wan had planned that day didn’t go exactly as planned. The two of them settled down by a fountain of Anakin’s choosing but no matter how much Anakin tried, he couldn’t slip into meditation like Obi-Wan could.
Not that that was unusual, but surrounded by all these fountains it was even more difficult.
Every few seconds Anakin’s eyes would creep open to stare in amazement at the abundance of water. It was beautiful. The way that water was not only vital to survival but could also be manipulated into a structured flow? The sound of the water flowing through the fountains was a song Anakin never wanted to stop hearing.
Anakin was helpless to the way his eyes fixated on them.
Their - mostly Obi-Wan’s - meditation session ended quickly, and if Obi-Wan noticed Anakin’s lack of meditation he didn’t say anything. He only smiled softly and asked if Anakin wanted to stay a little longer. Anakin, unsurprisingly, agreed and the two of them listened to the fountains’ song until dinner.
“Anakin?”
Anakin’s eyes fly open and he presses himself tighter into the corner.
How did Obi-Wan find him?
He is going to be in so much trouble.
Maybe if Anakin doesn’t say anything Obi-Wan will go away.
“Anakin,” Obi-Wan calls again, voice significantly closer, “I know you’re in here,”
Anakin curses under his breath and lets his head fall back against the wall again. Ok, maybe Obi-Wan won’t go away, but perhaps Anakin can sneak through the fountains and leave undetected? There are so many fountains in this room, there’s no way Obi-Wan would be able to find him.
“There you are, Anakin,” Obi-Wan whirls into view just as Anakin resolves to move.
Anakin flinches and stares down at Obi-Wan’s neatly polished boots, “How’d you find me?” He isn’t sulking , it only sounds that way.
Obi-Wan raises an unimpressed eyebrow as he lowers himself as if he’s about to meditate, “If you think you’re an unpredictable hider then I hate to tell you, but you’re sorely mistaken.”
Anakin frowns and glances at the fountain he’s wedged himself behind before cursing. It’s the same fountain he and Obi-Wan sat at the first time they came to this room.
“Why did you run?”
Anakin shrugs.
“Anakin.”
“I don’t know!” For the first time since Obi-Wan sat down, Anakin meets his gaze, “I don’t know, I just- I couldn’t-” He clenches his eyes shut and pulls at his hair. Why is it so hard to get the words out? Why can’t he just tell Obi-Wan how he’s feeling?
“Anakin, Anakin,” Obi-Wan’s hands reach out and gently untangle Anakin’s from his hair. He shifts his grip so that he holds both of Anakin’s hands in one of his own and his other hand soothes Anakin’s hair back down, “It’s okay, just breathe,” He takes a deep breath in, as if Anakin is a helpless child or an animal that needs calming.
Yet, despite his thoughts he mirrors Obi-Wan’s breath however shaky.
“Good,” Obi-Wan attempts to release his grip but Anakin’s fingers snatch onto the sleeve of his robe and refuse to budge, “Now try again, why did you run?”
Anakin frowns and shakes his head. He doesn’t know , he can’t explain it. Can’t explain the tight feeling he gets in his chest and the way his ears start to ring, and how his heart starts to pound while his throat clenches up.
Instead, he shoves his feelings of HopelessnessChainedCan’tescape at Obi-Wan through the Force.
He watches Obi-Wan shudder as the full extent of his emotions hit him.
“Anakin,” Obi-Wan’s voice is unbearably understanding, and his face is twisted into a sad frown. Anakin doesn’t deserve his understanding. “How long have you felt like this?” His soft words are almost drowned out by the endless water around them.
“Just today,” Anakin promises, clutching tighter at his robes, “I mean… there are other days but it’s not a big deal, I just need to-” get over it.
The words go unsaid but are heard nonetheless.
“Anakin, no one is expecting you to forget what you went through on Tatooine,” And of course Obi-Wan understands. He always does. “You endured something very traumatic at a very young age, no one is expecting you to just get over it.” His thumb deftly wipes away a stray tear.
“But I should! I’m with you now, and the vode , and I know I’m safe. I know you’re not like Depur, so I don’t know why I can’t just get over it!”
“Anakin,” The hand in his hair drifts to tilt his chin up, “progress is not linear, do you understand?” Obi-Wan’s eyes are achingly soft, “It’s okay to have bad days, it doesn’t mean that you’re broken. ”
Anakin’s eyes clench shut and his grip on Obi-Wan’s sleeve tighten even further. It’s as if a whole planet has been taken off Anakin’s shoulders at Obi-Wan’s words. He isn’t broken.
He pitches forward into Obi-Wan’s waiting arms, the uncomfortable angle of Anakin's back be damned, and he sobs into his chest, “Thank you. I’m not broken, I’m not broken,” He whispers the words into the heavy layers of clothing, and it’s a wonder Obi-Wan can even hear him, “I know I’m not on Tatooine, I know I’m safe, I’m happy. It’s just… hard.” The word seems inadequate, but Anakin never claimed to be as good with words as Obi-Wan is.
“I know,” Obi-Wan drops a soft kiss to the top of Anakin’s head, “I know it is. But you don’t have to do it alone.”
And the two of them sit there, together, listening to the fountain’s song until Anakin finally drifts to sleep, safe in the arms of his brother.