Archive of Our Own ^beta

Habits are so difficult to break. 

Especially the ones that have consumed so much of your life already — it's always there to taunt you, telling you that it's better to slip back into it. It hangs over your shoulder, reminding you of the days when everything went absolutely so well when you were still doing it. 

For Beomgyu, it's the way he's always trying to find a way to wake up next to someone. 

It doesn't matter to him if they'd stay in his life for so long or not — as much as Beomgyu hates to admit it out loud, he feels a sense of comfort when he reaches out to let his fingers graze along a warm body. The peace of having someone who likes you enough that they won't suddenly leave in the middle of the night, that they're willing to spend the first seconds of being awake to see you. 

But unfortunately for Beomgyu, it always comes with a string of issues that he had tried his hardest to swallow. They linger at the back of his mind, constantly colliding in his head. His thoughts are intrusive and exhausting, if he's being honest. Though it's comforting to wake up next to someone, he doesn't know if he can ever handle spending the rest of the day feigning interest in whoever he's dating. 

They try to linger in his life, wanting to be able to say that they're the one who made Beomgyu want to settle down. But their luck doesn't last for long; they always wind up stumbling out of Beomgyu's apartment with the words let's break up, we're not going to work out anymore trail after them. The slam of the door only adds injury to their pride but Beomgyu doesn't care just as much to help soothe down that pain.

All of them knew exactly what kind of person he was. They shouldn't be surprised now. 

Though Beomgyu's reputation isn't exactly the best, he had never told another person what he wanted the most. The frustration catches up to him when he finally wakes up this morning, eyes flickering over to the empty space of his bed. 

Right, He heaves a sigh, running his hand across the creases of his bedsheets before he pulls away to tuck the blanket away. He kicks it off, letting the morning light pour over his body as he rises from the bed with his hair still a mess. I forgot that I broke up with him yesterday. 

It takes a moment before Beomgyu finally convinces himself to leave the comfort of his bed. Despite how bright the morning is, he still feels the way the cold wraps itself around his bones. It leaves him with shivers running through his body, wrapping an arm loosely around his frame in a vain effort to keep himself warm.

He's deep in his thoughts as he runs through his morning routine. His class schedule lingers in his head, quietly counting down the hours as he brushes his teeth in front of the bathroom mirror, staring back at his tired reflection. His face is swollen and his hair is still a mess but he doesn't find it in himself to care. Not when it's still eight in the morning and he still has to shower. 

God, I'm such an idiot for picking up a class that starts at 9 in the morning. He always thinks to himself as he hurriedly takes a shower, making sure that he feels clean enough before he finally takes his time in picking out his outfit. It's not like he spends a lot of time getting ready but sometimes, his thoughts become a little too overwhelming that he tends to stay in his apartment for far too long. 

It would have been the same case for today if he didn't hear the rapid knocking against his front door. 

"What the fuck?" Beomgyu nearly trips over his own feet, tugging on his tight pants and tucking in his loose shirt. He runs a hand through his dark strands, hurriedly walking over to the front door. The knocking never ceases to stop — it has reached the point that Beomgyu is praying to the stars that his neighbors won't end up filing a noise complaint or end up with his door being broken down into pieces. 

"Beomgyu! I know you're awake!"

He holds back an exasperated sigh, not even taking a second to recognize the familiar voice on the other side of the door. Of course, Soobin is right here — he's the only one who gets awfully excited to the point that he once forced Beomgyu to wake up in an ungodly hour, just so he could yell at him because his all-time favorite idol noticed him.

Good for him, honestly but Beomgyu needs to sleep. Which, of course, he didn't get because Soobin is too loud and bothersome at four in the morning. He doesn't know how the older boy even gets so much energy, he even envies him. 

But certainly not right now, when he's busy trying to knock down Beomgyu's door and break it completely. 

"I'm coming!" He finally finds his way to the front door, unlocking it swiftly and letting it swing open. Soobin doesn't stop to say even a hello to him, eagerly stepping inside with bright eyes and an even brighter smile curved upon his lips. It takes everything for Beomgyu to ignore the slight suspicion that tugs in his chest, choosing to let the door fall shut. 

"Hold on, before I speak," Soobin gestures at the direction of his bedroom, lowering his voice into a whisper, "Is your boyfriend, you know," He pauses as his dark eyes flicker over to the white wooden door. Beomgyu doesn't even need him to finish the sentence, only heaving out a deep sigh as he shakes his head. He crosses the distance between them, making himself comfortable on the couch as he runs his fingers through his dark hair. 

"No, I broke up with him." 

"Seriously?" Soobin furrows his brows right at him and Beomgyu releases another sigh, the back of his head hitting the couch as he sinks right onto his seat.

"He was too clingy, I hated it so I broke up with him last night." It takes everything in Beomgyu not to flinch at the sound of his voice. He sounds too detached, too cold for someone who had a boyfriend for more than two weeks. But then again, he never developed any sort of real feelings for him — he only lied to himself for so long that maybe if he stays with him, he'll eventually fall in love along the way. 

That isn't always the case for everyone, especially for someone like Beomgyu. 

"Harsh." Soobin comments, wincing slightly at how easy it is for Beomgyu to break someone's heart for the third time this month. Though the bad news doesn't seem to bother him all that much, waving a hand dismissively before he lights up again, hurriedly taking up the empty space right beside the younger boy.

"You know how I've been trying to find someone for you—"

"Ugh, please don't." Beomgyu cuts off his words, shaking his head hurriedly with a frown creasing his features. He holds up a hand to stop his best friend from speaking, miming the act of zipping his lips shut and even locking it at the corner of his mouth. "I don't want to hear that. You know that I'm not interested in any sort of commitment right now."

"No, but listen!" Soobin almost whines, as if he already reached the point of desperation as he holds onto Beomgyu's shoulders. "This guy is absolutely perfect for you!"

Beomgyu really thought that Soobin is done at that bewildering description but when he continues to speak without pausing to catch his breath, the younger boy becomes taken by surprise. "He could even be the one!"

Perfect? 

The one?

Not that Beomgyu is someone who's too skeptical about having one soulmate in this lifetime but really, out of seven billion souls in this world, how can someone perfectly fit you like a missing puzzle piece? Beomgyu can't help but allow a scoff to fall from his lips, shaking his head in absolute disbelief at the other boy's proposition. 

The probability of finding his soulmate among the seven billion souls, nine million residents living in Seoul alone — the numbers are enough to make anyone see that this is nearly impossible.

"Yeah, that's cute. All that soulmate thing and shit," Beomgyu shifts away, ready to stand as he waves a hand once more to keep Soobin an arm's length away from him. "But that's just not for me right now, hyung."

"Come on, I swear, I could set you guys up."

"Okay, I'm going to stop you right there." He holds up a hand, a firm expression written across his features that even Soobin backs down, sulking slightly though he listens well. Beomgyu unknowingly lets a long sigh fall from his lips, a shudder running through his body at the memories colliding in his mind.

"The last time that you tried to set me up with someone, he would not stop talking about himself for nearly three hours." A shiver slips down Beomgyu's spine, shaking his head at the thought of that memory drifting through his head. "I don't know how he did it but every topic that we had, he always swerved the conversation back to him."

"And you finished the date because...?"

"Because you set it up, you idiot!" Beomgyu fumes but Soobin doesn't seem to catch on to that, choosing to realize that the younger boy didn't address him properly. 

"Hey, I'm older than you!"

"Please, even if I called you hyung, it wouldn't change the fact that you were idiotic enough to set me up with someone like that."

Soobin, despite all the excitement traveling through his veins a moment ago, has the decency to look sheepish for his little mistake. He tries to shrug it off, a wide smile curling across his lips as he wraps an arm around the dark haired boy's shoulder to pull him flushed against his side. A wince falls from Beomgyu's lips when he feels himself get squished close to him but Soobin doesn't seem to notice. Or maybe he doesn't care enough right now.

"Let me make it up to you. Give this boy one chance and if the date doesn't work out then," Soobin cuts an imaginary line in half, his expression as serious as it could ever be. "I would never set you up again with anyone else."

Beomgyu fixates his stare at him, eyebrows knitting together as he tries to analyze the flicker of emotions on Soobin's features. So far, the older boy seems to have all the intention to hold onto his impromptu promise to him. Besides, maybe he can purposely butcher up this date so Soobin can stop pestering him about finding his soulmate among the nine million people living in Seoul.

If Beomgyu feels like being a romantic, he would rather end up crossing paths with his soulmate in Daegu instead. Not that he has favoritism towards his own hometown but then again, he knows that place like the back of his hand.

He doesn't voice this out though, knowing that it would tug on Soobin's romantic side so much to the point that he might as well try searching for his best friend's soulmate right there. Seoul is huge enough, maybe there is a chance that he'll meet the one here.

Also, Soobin is awfully stubborn and convincing — he does not want to go through all of that again.

"Fine, but just one date."

"Yes!" Soobin pumps his fist eagerly, clapping his hands as he stands from his seat on the couch. "I'll text him and let him know that you're interested." He's already making his way out, not sparing his best friend another glance as he types up a message on his phone. Beomgyu just knows that he's using so many exclamation points on the screen right now by repeatedly hitting one key to show how much excitement he's feeling. 

"Don't forget to send me his picture!"

Beomgyu calls out, barely receiving a proper response from him as he watches Soobin rush out of the apartment with his giggle etching itself in the atmosphere. Beomgyu sinks further in his couch, a deep sigh falling from his lips.

Glancing around the now empty living room, he finds himself wondering what would have happened if he didn't break up with his now ex-boyfriend. Is he willing to risk the days when he didn't feel happy with him, just so he could settle with a routine of having somebody beside him every night and every morning? 

But he doesn't want that. He knows for himself that he would hate himself if he'd settle for someone that he never truly loved in the first place. With a deep sigh falling from his lips, he pushes himself up from the couch to head over to the kitchen so he could fix himself some breakfast. A little routine of waking up alone and having breakfast with the silence accompanying him as the sunlight drifts through the curtains. 

He'll never admit to it but maybe, it'll be nice to wake up next to someone who'll choose to stay for the rest of their days.

There's only a small probability of colliding into someone that feels so familiar and warm in a fast-paced city like Seoul. Beomgyu is well aware of that and he does everything — absolutely everything to indulge himself deep in the moments that he spends with anyone. 

Six months ago, this proves to be something that Beomgyu wants to chase after. 

The bright neon lights hanging over their heads were painfully bright that night within the club, enough for Beomgyu to slip away from the crowd dancing away as he approached the bar instead. His friends were all too busy tipping their heads back, laughing and drinking alcohol — their usual night out. 

He's sure that the probability of crashing into someone that tugs on your heartstrings is the same as Beomgyu believing the stars are looking after him. It's almost non-existent at this point but the universe had always found a way to drag him through fate's cruel intentions. 

"Fuck," Beomgyu winced when he felt some shot glasses tip over and crashed against his chest. The alcohol sloshed around the rim, spilling right into his buttoned up white shirt, leaving a visible stain. 

"Oh my god. Shit." He heard the stranger cussing in panic, setting away the glasses. Though the lighting was weak that night, he found his breath getting knocked out right of his lungs when his line of vision fell on the stranger standing in front of him. He couldn't hear the apology that spilled from the other boy's lips, his own thoughts pulling themselves apart because god, how can someone look absolutely beautiful? 

"I'm so sorry. I swear, I didn't mean to spill them on you." 

Beomgyu got dragged right out of his thoughts, finally realizing the wetness seeping through his shirt and the flicker of regret written all over the stranger's features. 

He doesn't know how or when he started calculating this type of probability — what are the chances of seeing a boy whose beauty is breathtaking and causing a turmoil within Beomgyu's little heart hidden beneath his ribcage? He's sure that it's infinitesimal but the possibility always remains there, hiding beneath all the impossibility. 

"It's fine," Beomgyu elicited a nervous laugh, ignoring the rush of heartbeats echoing within his ears. A little reminder of what he felt towards a beautiful stranger, standing underneath the neon lights. His blue hair hung over his eyes though the male brushed the strands away, such a sweet smile curled upon his lips. 

"I'm so sorry about your shirt." To his surprise, the regret still flickered upon the stranger's features, staring back at Beomgyu with wide eyes. It took everything for the dark haired boy to ignore the way his heart was pounding against his ribs. "If there's anything that I could do to make it up to you, just tell me." 

"Anything?" Beomgyu visibly lightened up, unable to hide the mischievousness that appears on his face. The stranger looked taken aback by his response though it didn't take long before a breathy laugh spilled from his lips, crossing the distance between them. 

"Yeah," He tilted his head to the side and for the first time in the evening, he sees the same flicker of interest in his dark eyes, obviously intrigued by Beomgyu's proposition. "What did you have in mind though?" 

"Why don't you tell me what you want to do?" 

The stranger laughed and it left Beomgyu with an ache buried deep within his ribcage. It didn't help to calm down the erratic rhythm of his heart when he felt his fingers around his wrist, tugging him close with a smile written across his lips. He was awfully sure that their heartbeats have fallen into a steady beat together, a rhythm that echoes a familiar thump, thump, thump. 

"I hope you don't regret it then." 

Beomgyu had never felt this warm before — there was a spark of happiness buried deep in his chest as he felt how perfect the stranger's fingers wrapped around his wrist. Eventually they slid down, their fingers naturally intertwining in a loose grip as he turned to Beomgyu with a sweet smile. 

"Are you hungry? We could grab something to eat." 

"What, are you paying for it?" 

Another laugh fell from his lips and it was getting harder for Beomgyu to ignore the way that sound tugged on his heartstrings every single time he heard it. 

"Of course not." 

"Then no." 

"Wow, it's so easy to convince you, huh?" There was another tug on their intertwined hands, forcing Beomgyu to keep up with the blue haired boy's pace until they found themselves at a convenience store. They didn't stop walking until they were right in front of the snacks, with the stranger refusing to untangle their fingers. 

It was heartwarming, teetering close to this being a date as he stared fondly at the other boy, watching him eagerly pick out small snacks that they can share. The other boy must have realized that Beomgyu is only standing there, eyes flickering to him with an arched brow. 

"Aren't you going to pick something out?" 

"It's fine," Beomgyu playfully bumped his shoulder against the other's, a cheeky smile tugged on the corners of his lips. "We'll share, right?" 

"Who said so?" He scoffed though from the way the blush rose to his cheeks, a tint of pink across the curve of his skin left Beomgyu smiling so widely. There wasn't anything worth romantic about a trip to the convenience store, standing under fluorescent lights with a stranger that he crossed paths with a moment ago. But somehow, his heart still collapsed in his ribcage, an echo of heartbeats that he was slowly becoming familiar with. 

He couldn't even bother to realize how small of a probability this little meeting could ever happen. 

They were quick to pay for the snacks, with the stranger easily finding his way to intertwine their fingers once more upon leaving the store. They fell into step, taking their time to admire the nearly empty streets at this time of the night — it's almost as if this night is meant for them only. 

"Are you never going to tell me your name?" 

Beomgyu was starting to feel the exhaustion run through the veins of his body, letting himself lean against the stranger. They were walking side by side, finding their way through twists and turns among the streets. It was dangerous, so incredibly risky but somehow, Beomgyu loved the adrenaline rush of doing something like this. 

"I don't know, should I tell you?" The blue haired male halted for a moment, forcing Beomgyu to follow suit. There was a playful smile drawn across his features, eyes crinkling in happiness. "It might ruin this whole mystery." 

"Well, unless you want me to call you as the boy with blue hair then be my guest." 

"Isn't that so creative of you?" The edge of the stranger's voice was dripping with sarcasm, pulling out a quick laugh from Beomgyu's lips. He didn't seem to catch the way the stranger's eyes lingered for too long on him, a fond smile curled upon his lips before he turned his head away. 

"How about nicknames then?" 

"Any nickname?" 

The stranger nodded his head, glancing at Beomgyu with an expectant stare and a raised eyebrow. He was tempted to say anything — any nickname that would not be able to trace itself back to him. But as he parted his lips, his heart rose to his throat and he found himself with a craving for the stranger to know even a little bit more about him. 

"Gyu," He spoke fast, the name lying on the tip of his tongue with a breathless smile at how fast his heart was beating within his chest, "You can call me Gyu." 

It took a moment but soon, the blue haired boy curved his lips into a sweet smile as he allowed the name to roll off his tongue so smoothly, like he had been saying his name for so many years already. 

"Gyu," He murmured, voice low as a murmur though his eyes shone bright as soon as he said the name, lighting up in happiness. "Pretty name, I like it."

"You don't even know if that's my real name." 

He shrugged his shoulders rather nonchalantly, choosing to stare ahead at the empty street just beyond them. A smile was still drawn on his lips, gently squeezing Beomgyu's fingers in his hold.

"I just know that kind of name fits you well." 

Oh, Beomgyu ignored the rush of emotions through his veins, rendering him into a speechless state as the blush colored itself upon his cheeks. If he was being honest, he always found pride in knowing how to make other hearts flutter with a smile or sweet words falling from his lips. But somehow, this stranger left him constantly with his throat closing up and the blush rushing to his cheeks to the tips of his ears. 

"You can call me Jun." 

"Huh?" 

"Jun," The stranger repeats, laughter tied along the syllable slipping by his mouth, "I said, you can call me Jun." 

"That's too common," Beomgyu was speaking too fast, not quite realizing the words that escaped his lips. "How am I supposed to find you if I ever want to see you again?" 

That question hung itself in the atmosphere, forcing them to confront a reality that maybe, this night was meant to last for only a few hours. Never meant to be strung along for more time like how first meetings should go. The blue haired boy spared him a glance and there was a certain softness in his expression that caused a turmoil of feelings inside Beomgyu. 

"Then let's make sure that this night would be memorable." 

With that, he found himself being dragged once more, their laughter etched in the atmosphere. 

All Beomgyu hoped is that perhaps at the end of all of this, he would still find his way back to him, no matter what. 

"Where are we going?" 

They've been walking around the streets, sharing snacks as they kept each other close. The night had long since fallen into the very early hours of the morning but Beomgyu couldn't find it in himself to break away from what they have right now. 

It was the first time in a while that he had ever felt so comfortable, so warm with someone that he only met hours ago. 

How can someone just go and cause a hurricane of emotions within him with only a heart fluttering smile and a laugh that sounds so incredibly melodious? 

He doesn't want it to end. He never wants this to end. 

"Right here," The blue haired boy suddenly crossed the empty road with Beomgyu hurrying up to match his excited pace. They continued to follow a path made of stones, laughing and giggling all the time as their hands occasionally grazed with each other. Beomgyu had long since forgotten how to suppress the way his heart jumped to his throat whenever the other male spared him a glance and a sweet smile. 

They've been walking for so long that Beomgyu didn't realize that they finally found their way to a fountain standing in the middle of a park. The only reason why it stood so tall was because of the flickering bright lights underneath the waves of clear water, a display of luminescence that stole the breath from Beomgyu's lungs. 

"How come I've never seen this place before?" 

Beomgyu asked out loud, marveling at the marble stone as his fingers dragged themselves against the material. The rush of water falling from the very top was achingly beautiful, a sight that Beomgyu doesn't want to forget for such a long time. 

"It's gorgeous, isn't it?" 

"Like you." 

The quick response from Beomgyu left the other boy speechless, eyes wide though another laugh escaped from his lips. Even through the moonlight, he can see the way the blush remains on his cheeks, a pretty shade against his skin. 

"Flirt." He shot back at Beomgyu, shaking his head as he closed the distance between them. With every step that he took, Beomgyu can hear the way his heartbeat slowly increases, an achingly loud sound that left him breathless. He shouldn't feel so much over a boy but here he was, all probabilities and impossibilities thrown away without a care. 

Perhaps he was too deep in his train of thoughts about Jun that he ended up too distracted — it only took a second before the blue haired boy playfully pushed him straight into the water. "Fuck!" Beomgyu yelled out loud, surprised at the shockingly cold water and the way the other male couldn't stop laughing. A shiver ran down his spine, running a hand through the wet strands so he could narrow his eyes threateningly at the older boy. 

"Holy shit, you should have seen your face— hey!" 

His laugh was cut off as Beomgyu reached out, dragging him into the water. It was cold and Jun landed on top of him, their laughter echoing in the emptiness of the night and early morning's hours. Beomgyu shook his head, droplets of water hitting the blue haired boy's face but he only let out a chortle. 

"I can't believe you dragged me in." 

"You pushed me first!" Beomgyu playfully pushed him away, all too aware of how their bodies felt so warm and familiar against each other a moment ago. Their clothes were dripping wet and their strands sticking to their foreheads. Beomgyu forced himself to stand, a wince falling from his lips at how heavy the water had soaked his pants and his button up shirt. He wanted to be annoyed at the boy but instead, when his eyes flickered over to him, his heart soared to his throat at how effortlessly good Jun looked even when his own clothes were dripping wet. 

"Come on, let's—" 

"Hey, what are you kids doing there?" 

A bright light coming from the flashlight caused Beomgyu to stumble back, hurriedly raising an arm to cover his eyes from how harsh it was. He squinted his eyes to see better and when he saw the uniforms stuck on them, Beomgyu could feel the fear rush through his body. 

"Gyu, run!" 

Jun didn't have to tell him twice — they stumble right out of the fountain, clothes heavy as they set off running. Beomgyu's heartbeats kept echoing in his ears, colliding with the consistent yells of stop right there! He couldn't stop running, the adrenaline pushing him to pump his legs faster as he blindly followed the blue haired boy, weaving through streets and empty alleys. 

"Here!" Jun suddenly tugged on the sleeve of his shirt, forcing him to halt and duck through an empty playground. His heart was rushing right against his chest, desperate to fall through the cages of his ribs as the other male pulled him beneath the slide. They were hidden beneath the shadows, hearts falling into a steady beat slowly as they kept each other close. 

"Are they still here?" Beomgyu sounded absolutely breathless, unknowingly seeking more of the other boy's warmth. He could see the way Jun's eyes kept on flickering from left to right, trying to gauge out if there was anyone else hanging around. He raised a hand, fingers gently brushing through Beomgyu's dark strands and the act left the boy snuggling closer for more warmth as he buried his face against the crook of the male's neck. 

He could feel Jun's fingers stop, his own body turning rigid out of the blue at the affectionate gesture though soon, he found himself relaxing. After a moment, he finally pulled away, leaving Beomgyu sulking as they stared at each other beneath the slide. 

"I don't think there's anybody around," Jun glanced at him, eyes dropping to Beomgyu's pout before a breathy chuckle fell from his lips, leaning to brush his thumb against his lower lip. "Cute."

"I'm not." Beomgyu tugged away, a huff leaving his mouth though the warmth ran through its course throughout his body, causing his cheeks to redden in embarrassment. The little act of the blue haired boy being so near to him that he was so sure that he could have heard the rush of his heartbeats within his chest sent him into a breathless mess. 

He spared another look at the other boy, seeing Jun light up in realization before he flashed a wide smile at Beomgyu. "Hey, my apartment is nearby. You can stay there for a while and borrow my clothes," His eyes flickered down his body, his wet clothes stuck to his skin before a blush rose to his own cheeks as he stared back at Beomgyu with a sheepish smile, "I mean, it's the least I could do after spilling alcohol on you and pushing you into the fountain." 

Beomgyu blinked rapidly, not quite realizing the proposition offered to him. Today was nothing short of being exhausting but somehow, he found himself wanting to stay more with the other boy. He always craved to be near him, bury himself in his arms and listen to his heartbeat calmly. 

It's idiotic in all kind of senses — it's impossible to feel so much for someone in just one night. 

But as he parted his lips, he slowly nodded his head, a smile finally tugging on the corners of his mouth. He reached out, their fingers naturally intertwining, like they've done for so many times already. It took everything in Beomgyu to ignore how perfectly their hands fit with each other. 

"Okay."

The morning was slowly tugging away any more remnants of the darkness of the night. Beomgyu ignored the nagging feeling of how time was slowly running out between them, choosing to bury any worries left behind. 

He was in the shower for the last ten minutes already, making sure that he was no longer shivering due to the cold water that struck him in the fountain. A deep sigh fell from his lips as he shuts off the water, stepping out of the cubicle and drying himself off with a clean towel. Pausing in front of the mirror, he caught sight of a black hoodie and gray sweatpants left behind on the sink. A little note that says I hope these will fit you well! left his heart fluttering in his ribcage again, a subtle smile curled on his lips. 

Slipping on the hoodie and the sweatpants, he faced the mirror again. Wet dark strands hang over his forehead, the sleeves of the hoodie are too long, as well as the pants but they felt so warm and familiar around his frame. 

He quietly stepped out of the bathroom, peeking around and seeing Yeonjun right out of the balcony. The tuft of blue hair is visible through the glass and just the sight of his back was enough to send Beomgyu into a blushing mess again, wondering if he'll always feel this way. 

Pushing the door open, the crisp air sent a shiver running down his spine as he stepped out carefully, not wanting to startle the other boy. Though he didn't need to worry about it, seeing how quick Jun turned to him with his eyes lighting up in happiness. He didn't miss the way the blue haired boy's eyes flicker down his figure, noticing how his clothes fit Beomgyu and the slight blush that rushed to his cheeks afterwards when he realized that he was caught red-handed. 

"Hey," He stretched out a hand and Beomgyu was more than happy to take the empty space right beside him, snuggling close to him for more warmth. He can feel the way the other male wrapped his arm around his shoulder, pulling him close enough as a fleeting kiss was pressed on top of his head. 

"You're feeling better now?" 

"Yeah," Beomgyu glanced at him briefly and through the early hours of the morning light slowly ascending in the skies, he caught sight of how breathtaking the other boy was. Bright eyes that looked like the universe resided within him, a smile constantly lingering on the corners of his lips. 

He was achingly beautiful and Beomgyu didn't want any of this to end. 

Without thinking about it, he tilted his head up and their lips met in a slow, gentle kiss. Jun froze in place for a moment before Beomgyu felt him relax as he pulled the smaller boy in his embrace, melting right into the kiss. There was something about that kiss — Beomgyu had kissed so many people, too many strangers that he will never remember the names of when the next day comes by. But at that moment as he felt himself melt against the other boy's figure, fingers drifting up to graze along his cheek, he found himself yearning for more. 

He knows that he shouldn't. This little adventure is nothing but a stretched out moment for a night. A dream that was supposed to be fleeting through the spaces of Beomgyu's fingers. 

But could you blame him if he said that he wanted more? 

"Jun," Beomgyu's voice slipped by as a whine in between the kiss, his heart stuck in his throat. His fingers sifted through the blue strands, tugging on them to keep him close as he let his eyes flutter open, staring back at the other boy. "Do you think we'll meet again?" 

"I hope so," He murmured against his lips, leaning in to quietly press a lingering kiss on his forehead. "I really hope we'll meet again, Gyu." 

For some reason, Beomgyu held on that little promise. He knew, for some reason, that they were bound to meet at one point or another. 

But he never did know when they would meet again. 

"Am I never going to know your real name?" 

All he received as a response was a wry smile from the other male and the familiar touch against his cheek as he delicately held him close. 

"I'll tell you when we meet again." 

"Unfair," Beomgyu sulked once more, earning a laugh from the other boy. Another stolen kiss and it was enough to render him into a blushing mess once again, covering his cheeks to hide the faint pink that rose to his face.

"That's why I told you to find me again." Another stolen kiss yet again and now, Beomgyu had melted completely in his embrace, tucking his face against his shoulder whilst Jun held him close with a light laugh falling from his lips. 

"I'm sure that we'll find each other, no matter what." 

"You're awfully confident, aren't you?" 

"Only when it comes to you." 

If Beomgyu stayed too long, he would have completely surrendered himself to what he had been avoiding for so long. He wasn't one to commit himself to a relationship, not exactly seeing himself waking up next to one person for the rest of his life or falling in love with anyone to the point that he'll want to be with them as much as he could. All that he surrendered himself to do for such a long time were casual flings that were never meant to last too long. 

So, why did he want this so much? Why was he chasing after something that could potentially turn into something more? 

"Oh, the sunrise looks beautiful." 

He didn't notice it, eyes only fixated on the other boy. The morning light had started to take away any remnants of the night but still, he couldn't find it in himself to look at the sunrise. Beomgyu wanted to commit every moment to his memory, admiring every handsome feature on the blue haired boy's face. 

"You really can't keep your eyes away from me, huh?" Jun's voice brought him out of his thoughts, causing Beomgyu to stutter as he pulled away with the tips of his ears turning red due to the embarrassment. 

He shook his head, glaring right at the boy with a loud huff, "Don't be too cocky." 

"You like it though." 

The way he said it made it sound like it was nothing short of being a true statement. Beomgyu watched as the blue haired male pulled away from him, making his way back inside of the apartment. He felt like he should follow him so he did, not quite realizing that the other boy was making his way to the front door already. 

"Are you hungry?" 

The sudden question hung itself in the air and that was enough for Beomgyu to stop walking, realizing that it was morning already. The night that they spent was now slowly becoming a distant memory in their pasts and if he walked out of that door, he could risk losing everything. 

"No," He forced himself to curve his lips into a smile, ignoring the feeling of panic that settled in his bones when he saw the brief flicker of disappointment on the other's features. With a deep breath, Jun mirrored his smile, nodding his head in understanding as he made his way to the front door. 

Beomgyu felt like he was on autopilot now — moving fast as the male twisted the knob, opening the door wide enough for him to slip through. As he stood outside, he turned to him once again and he saw it; the sadness and longing written all over the other boy's face. 

"I had fun with you, Jun." 

Another weak smile shot at his direction before he spoke again, "I had fun with you too." 

They stood there, not quite knowing how to end this little meeting. How do you say goodbye to someone that made you feel everything in a matter of hours? How do you say goodbye to someone when you could risk not seeing them anymore? 

"I'll see you again, Gyu...?" 

It was a question, a reassurance that the blue haired male needed. And Beomgyu was more than willing to give him what he wanted. He crossed the little distance left between their bodies as he tilted his head, just enough to press a kiss on his lips before he broke away too fast for them to react. 

"I'll see you, Jun." 

That seemed enough for them to relax, a wide smile drawn on their faces. Beomgyu stepped away and all he knew at that moment, he was risking leaving his heart with him. 

He didn't mind at all. 

With that, he left without looking back. Once he was sure that the door had fallen shut already, he glanced over his shoulder, a fond smile curled upon his lips. He left his heart at the doorstep and he knew that Jun would take care of it, no matter what. 

The way home was unfamiliar — a lot of streets and turns that were unknown to him. He tried his hardest to remember every step, wanting to remember his way back to that lone apartment. He wanted to remember the night that stole his breath and more importantly, his little heart. 

When he got home, he finally checked his phone, which was slipped inside the pocket of the hoodie that he borrowed from the blue haired boy. His brows furrow at the unfamiliar feeling of a crumpled paper inside, taking it out. 

If you want us to meet again, here's my number.  

His heartbeat quickened in its pace, holding in his breath as he shakily opened his phone. He was more than ready to call him right then and there but as his thumb hovered on top of the button, he could feel himself deflate slightly. With a deep breath, he hid his phone away and crumpled up the paper, tossing it in the bin.

All he promised himself was that he'll call him tomorrow morning. 

But as the days and nights stretched himself thin, he slowly forgot about the number hidden in between all the contacts of his previous flings. A number that slowly lost its significance as the months dragged themselves into nothingness. 

The more time passed by, the harder it became for him to call. What if Jun doesn't want to talk to him anymore? What if he already moved on and found himself someone special? Will he even remember the night that he shared with him?

He always starts off with the resolve to call him or at least, text him. But as soon as he sees his number, the little nickname written across his screen, his heart breaks into pieces as he scrolls through someone else's number again. 

Beomgyu might be a coward but he doesn't want to resign himself to false hopes. Not when that night could easily fade into nothing but a memory that he'll hold close to his heart. 

He knows that he's lying to himself right now but he's in too deep. 

Soobin hasn't stopped talking about the one that he's going out with. 

With every chance that he gets, he talks him up — constantly saying how perfect they are together and that out of everyone that Soobin has ever met before, he just knows that this one would fit to be with him. Beomgyu only half listens, a faint smile drawn across his lips as Soobin talks about the one that he's supposed to meet.

"He's such a great dancer!"

"He knows how to cook, you like that, right?"

"He's really smart and sweet too. Exactly like your type!"

Beomgyu heaves a sigh, leaning against the chair with his arms crossed over his chest. Though the boy that Soobin has endlessly described to him sounds like an absolute dream, there's still a twinge of fear within him that he couldn't be able to go through with this. There's only one person who made his heart skip a beat was a boy that he willingly let go without a second thought.

Maybe there's still time to back out from this?

Or maybe he can skip this date all together—

"What's his name?" Beomgyu finally speaks up, the question that he didn't plan on saying escapes past his lips without hesitation. Soobin, for a fraction of a second, hesitates before he smiles brightly right at his best friend.

"Yeonjun! He's a year older and we met because he mentored one of the dance classes I attended."

"You mean, that one class that you only went to once and dropped immediately?"

Soobin immediately narrows his eyes right at him, causing Beomgyu to burst into giggles as he covers his mouth. "Oh, shut up. The instructor was too strict, I would be bald from the amount of stress if I kept on taking that class."

"You're exaggerating." Beomgyu hides another laugh from spilling on the tip of his tongue. He shakes his head, not quite getting rid of the feeling of uneasiness at the name he heard. He's not one to pin his hopes up but he finds himself thinking about the possibility of Jun and Yeonjun being the same person.

Jun is such a common name though, maybe he shouldn't dwell on this too much.

What's the probability of them meeting again in a city like Seoul anyway?

With so much hesitation, he buries the remaining amount of doubts creeping inside of him. All he needs to do is get through this date — that shouldn't be a problem. He can charm anyone and if the worst case scenario comes by, he can ditch the date and eventually convince Soobin to stop setting him up with other people.

Besides, he can't see himself with anyone else right now.

Except for the one boy who made his heart into a mess since that night six months ago.

Beomgyu might not have been on too many blind dates before but as far as he knew, Soobin should've at least texted him with a picture of his date. All he knew is that he's meeting up with him in a café but for god's sake, he's not going to go around to ask everyone if their name is Yeonjun and if they're a university student that's taking up dance right now.

Soobin also conveniently forgot to text him the stranger's number so he's right outside of the café, the cold air biting down onto his skin. He wraps his flannel around his frame, wanting more warmth as he knits his eyebrows at his screen.

"Why isn't he replying to me?" Beomgyu heaves out a sigh of frustration, pulling up another series of angry texts that's marked by too many exclamation points. The anxiety settles deep within him, twisting right in his gut as the texts remain unanswered by his best friend. 

Minutes passed by and honestly, Beomgyu is getting more and more restless. He presses his back against the windowed wall, his brows furrowed as a deep frown creases his features. There's a string of people that slipped by him, pushing past the double doors and somehow, Beomgyu still finds himself trying to find the familiar sight of blue hair. It's idiotic of him to do this — most especially when he's signing himself up for a disappointment that he would never get rid for the rest of the date.

It does take a moment before Beomgyu finally tears his eyes away from the doors, ignoring the rest of the people that are slipping in and out. If Soobin doesn't reply then maybe he should take this as a chance to skip the date altogether.

The way his phone vibrated in his hand leaves him with a trail of excitement and nervousness colliding in his chest as he searches through his messages. Soobin is right at the top with the words, oh? Yeonjun hyung just texted me that he just arrived. 

As if on cue, he hurriedly glances around to catch sight of anyone who might stand out to his eyes. It seems ridiculous but Beomgyu has that tiniest spark of hope embedded in his chest. A quiet whisper of how much he wanted Yeonjun to be someone that he longed for — is it possible to yearn like this? He almost feels like an asshole for acting like this because the possibility of Yeonjun being someone that he never met before has a higher chance as compared to the possibility of him being the same boy he met six months ago. 

Hope is such a dangerous thing, isn't it? 

Beomgyu heaves an exasperated sigh, rolling his eyes in response. He pushes himself off the windowed wall, making his way inside with his eyes fixated on the phone instead. Another message pops out from Soobin, with the words this is what he looks like written across his screen.

As he pulls up the thread of messages between them, he almost drops his phone, his throat closing up. His fingers won't stop shaking as he fixates his eyes on the familiar shade of blue hair, bright eyes and a smile that caused Beomgyu's heart to collapse in the cage of his ribs.

No, no. This is not real. He takes in a shaky breath, pulling up the picture so he can take a closer look at him. The blue haired boy remains so achingly familiar, forcing a surge of emotions through his body as he tries to calm down the erratic beating of his heart.

Lifting his gaze away from his phone, he finally sees him sitting near one of the booths. He can see the way Yeonjun's eyebrows knit together in concentration at his screen before he accidentally drops his phone on the table. Somehow, against all odds, their gazes meet across the café and he can see the obvious surprise drawn on Yeonjun's features. 

He approaches him in feeble steps, his heart causing a racket within his ribcage as it rams itself against his chest. He can't hear anything else right now — all he can hear is the way his sneakers hit the floor and the rush of heartbeats pounding in his ears. Taking another breath, he stops near him and gazes at him nervously.

"Yeonjun?"

Although it's the first time those syllables have rolled off his tongue, the name sounds so familiar, like an ache that Beomgyu can feel residing in his bones. A beautiful kind of ache that he grew to live with for the past six months.

Yeonjun only stares back at him, completely bewildered as he parts his lips though no sound slips by. Beomgyu anxiously shifts his weight from one foot to another, tangling his fingers together behind his back.

"Jun?"

That seems to bring Yeonjun out of his thoughts, his eyes wide as he stands from his seat. He approaches him hesitantly and even before he could stop himself, Beomgyu gets knocked out breathless at the way Yeonjun's arms wind around his frame, pulling him close. His heartbeats fall into a steady, calming rhythm as Beomgyu wraps his arms around his waist instead, a rush of warmth through his veins. 

"Oh my god, I just—" He cuts himself off, cheeks flushed in deep red as he pulls away to take a glance at Beomgyu with a wide smile. "I just thought that I'll never see you again." 

Six months ago. 

Six months ago and the days right after that night, Beomgyu would have never come to the point that this is how he expected them to meet again. He never expected that Yeonjun would look incredibly happy right now, his heart rising to his throat. It's almost impossible — shouldn't Yeonjun be mad at him? What if he had been waiting for him all this time and Beomgyu had never ceased to stop fooling around with other people? 

"Hey," His voice comes out soft, breathless as he reaches out, his hand gently grazing against Yeonjun's cheek. Six months ago, he already looked amazing but as he sees him right now, it's as if he never stopped looking more breathtaking as each day passed by.

Yeonjun couldn't stop smiling right at him, leaning into Beomgyu's touch willingly as he pulls their bodies close. With only a short distance left, he tilts his head and leaves a fleeting kiss on his forehead, so light and soft that Beomgyu feels like everything is a dream right now. 

"I missed you," He breathes out, lips stretched into a smile that makes his eyes crinkle, "You have no idea how much I missed you."

And there is it — the flicker of worry and doubt in his irises as he searches Beomgyu's expression hurriedly. It's as if he's hit with a sudden thought, his brows knitting the slightest. He clears his throat and quietly pulls away, a rush of hesitation in his veins. Beomgyu hates the way he immediately missed how warm Yeonjun feels against his body, sparing the older boy a glance with a hint of worry as well. 

"Did you not want to meet me again?" Yeonjun can't hide the panic in his voice, stepping away again and without Beomgyu realizing it, he takes a step forward as the blue haired boy continues speaking, "Oh god, this is so embarrassing—"

"No, no." Beomgyu reaches out, gripping the front of his shirt. He doesn't want Yeonjun to pull away, not when they're only an arm's length away. He already lost him once, he doesn't want it to happen again.

"I'm sorry," The dark haired boy blinks hastily, his own arms winding around the taller male's frame. He buries his face on his shoulder, taking in a deep breath before he tilts his head up for their gazes to lock on each other.

"I'm sorry it took me this long." He keeps Yeonjun close, keeping an eye on the flicker of emotions on his expression. He can see the way the blue haired boy's gaze softens, delicately cupping his cheeks and leaning in close with a tender smile on his lips.

"At least, you're here now," When Yeonjun's lips press against his cheek, there's a flutter in Beomgyu's chest that he couldn't ignore any longer. He knows that he feels something so strong for him and he doesn't want to let that go.

"That's all that matters to me."

They walk slowly, each step falling in sync with each other as their fingers intertwine. The night has long since fallen and it brings back a surge of nostalgia in Beomgyu as he glances briefly at Yeonjun's side profile.

His hair is a lighter shade of blue but it looks so breathtaking on him. His eyes remain as bright as ever, looking like he's holding the universe inside of them. The sight of his sweet smile causes a turmoil of emotions deep within Beomgyu, one that he could no longer ignore. It doesn't help that Yeonjun has the small habit of letting his thumb brush against the dark haired boy's knuckles, their eyes constantly meeting with a smile on their faces.

God, he can't believe that he almost let this boy go.

Out of the nine million souls that he could've collided with, the stars orchestrated this fateful meeting once again. It's a probability that Beomgyu knows that it's a near impossibility — and yet here they are, fingers intertwined and laughter etched in the atmosphere.

"Do you remember that night?" Yeonjun quietly asks, breaking the comfortable silence that descended upon their heads. "Six months ago?"

"How could I forget? You pushed me into the fountain."

The laugh that spills from the blue haired boy's lips leaves Beomgyu's heart collapsing within his ribcage. He wants to hear that sound so much — he knows that he would never get exhausted from listening to it.

"Sorry about that," A gentle bump against his body before Yeonjun speaks again, "At least you got a free hoodie out of it."

The heat rises to Beomgyu's cheeks, blinking rapidly as he turns his head, realizing what Yeonjun meant. He doesn't want to admit it to him but whenever he misses the other boy or when he crosses his mind too many times in a single day, he pulls it on and eventually falls asleep while wearing it. He would die of embarrassment if Yeonjun knew that so he clears his throat, choosing to gaze at him directly.

"Exactly, I don't plan on giving it back," His voice falters, lowering it into a murmur and hoping that the blue haired male doesn't hear him, "Besides, it feels really soft and comfy."

"I know," He catches sight of the playful smirk on Yeonjun's lips and that causes the blush to rise even further to the tips of his ears, "That's why I gave it to you."

"You're letting me keep it?"

Yeonjun shrugs his shoulders lightly with a small smile, "It looks good on you so why not?"

Beomgyu becomes at loss at words, choosing to avert his eyes and direct his attention to their intertwined hands. They continue walking down the nearly empty street with Beomgyu's gaze focused on how their fingers are perfectly fit with each other. It's as if he's meant to hold it for as long as they'd like.

"What have you been doing for the past six months that you nearly forgot about me, huh?"

It's meant to be a joke, a friendly jab but that question is enough for Beomgyu to stiffen up as his lips pursue into a thin line. That catches Yeonjun's attention, arching a brow at him as they take a moment to stop walking. Beomgyu doesn't want to lie to him but he doesn't want to hurt his feelings either. Or what if he's just overthinking about this?

"I, uh," He clears his throat as he gazes back at Yeonjun, who's waiting patiently for his answer, "I've been going around and well,"

Fuck, why is it suddenly so difficult to say the truth?

Yeonjun must have seen how much he's struggling to answer so he replies with a playful tone beneath his words. "What? You've been dating around, haven't you?"

The dark haired boy sinks his teeth onto his lower lip, a flicker of guilt on his features. He doesn't have the strength to stare directly at the blue haired boy, choosing to hold onto his hand a little tighter.

"Yeah..."

An awkward silence ensues, blanketing them as Yeonjun's cheeks become flushed in embarrassment, "Oh, that explains why." Beomgyu is observant enough to see the slight disappointment that appears on Yeonjun's face, the way his shoulders slump and he never wanted to take back his words so much before. But even before he could part his lips, Yeonjun ends up speaking first though he tries to make his tone sound light.

"Don't worry, I'm not mad, Gyu."

Oh. Beomgyu's chest constricts a little, his throat closing up at the familiar little nickname that escapes the other's lips. He never heard that nickname from anyone else — Yeonjun has always been the only one who can call him that. It sounds so endearing when it comes from his lips only.

"You're an adult, you can do whatever you want." Yeonjun murmurs as he takes a step closer to shorten the distance between them. He dips his head slightly to leave a kiss on his cheek, pulling back with a smile, "Though this makes me feel like I should work harder in winning you back."

"What?"

Beomgyu's voice comes out a squeak, not quite realizing how hot his face has become. Did Yeonjun just imply that he likes him back? He doesn't know what he should do; his heart is going insane right now, losing count of how many beats it has been per minute.

"Will you let me do that, Gyu?" 

There's a hopeful tone that settles in his voice, his eyes bright as he gazes at Beomgyu. The dark haired boy stares back at him, not knowing what he should say — does he like Yeonjun that much? He can't seem to put a label to his feelings right now but he does know that he has strong feelings for him and only him. 

"Well," He murmurs, squeezing Yeonjun's fingers in response as he leans in to press a kiss on the tip of his nose, pulling back with a wide smile, "I guess it wouldn't hurt to give it a try." 

It's the way that Yeonjun lights up in happiness, eyes brighter than ever and the smile that lingers on his lips leaves him wanting more. He wants to see him like that for the rest of his days — it's such an achingly beautiful sight to see.

Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea after all.

"I can't believe that our date is ending already."

Yeonjun sulks, lower lip jutting out to form a pout as he lightly swings their intertwined hands. Beomgyu can't help but coo at him, reaching in to steal a kiss from his cheek before they start walking down the hallway. Though all they did tonight was walk around and catch up on what happened for the past six months, Beomgyu had never felt so much happiness before.

The blue haired boy has been nothing but awfully sweet to him though he isn't afraid to joke around with Beomgyu. It's as if the past six months didn't happen — it's as if they've been together for such a long time already. They fit each other so well and Beomgyu is thankful that their paths crossed once again.

"Well, here I am."

They stop in front of the apartment belonging to Beomgyu, standing underneath the bright lighting. Yeonjun heaves out another deep sigh, choosing to wrap his arms around the dark haired boy's frame to pull him close in a tight embrace. Beomgyu melts easily in his arms, feeling at home whenever he feels how perfectly fit he is when the other boy hugs him like this.

"I'll miss you."

"Stop being dramatic, we can see each other tomorrow."

Beomgyu rolls his eyes though he can't hide the smile that curved upon his lips as their gazes lock on each other. Something about Yeonjun standing right there, smiling at him and looking at him with so much adoration leaves him with an ache in his chest. He's grown to love that ache for the past six months — it constantly reminds him of how Yeonjun made him feel right from the start.

"Are you not going to say it back?"

"Say what?"

"I'll miss you too, Yeonjun hyung."

Yeonjun raises his voice a pitch higher, bursting into a fit of laughter when Beomgyu narrows his eyes at him into a glare. He tries to reach out to pull him back into his arms but the younger boy purposely avoids it, huffing lightly.

"Come on, I'm kidding," Yeonjun finally wraps his arms around his slightly smaller frame, tugging him close enough to leave a kiss on his forehead. "Give me a kiss before I go."

"You're really clingy, aren't you?"

"Only when it comes to you."

These lines are supposed to cause Beomgyu to roll his eyes in annoyance because he heard it too many times already. But when Yeonjun is smiling like that at him, his heart chooses to rise his throat and cause a chaotic mess in his chest.

"Come here," He wraps his arms around Yeonjun's neck, pulling him flushed against his body. Leaning in, he tilts his head as their lips meet in a soft and gentle kiss. Kissing Yeonjun has always been sweet — so heart fluttering that he never fails to leave Beomgyu breathless.

He's about to break away but Yeonjun seems to have other plans — he pushes him up against the door to his apartment, deepening the kiss so easily that Beomgyu can feel himself go weak at the knees. A whine falls from his lips upon feeling his teeth catch onto his lower lip, tugging on it before he finally pulls away to see how flushed Beomgyu's cheeks are. The younger boy can't help but feel the need to pull him in again but Yeonjun only elicits a sweet laugh, shaking his head. 

"Why do you look so flustered, Gyu?" Yeonjun's voice is edging near to being a tease as his eyes light up, "Haven't you kissed other people like that before? And yet, here you are, already so flustered because of me."

"You're such an ass."

Beomgyu glares at him directly but Yeonjun only chooses to kiss the frown off his lips, succeeding so easily within a second as he breaks away. He catches sight of the slight smile that lingered on the other boy's lips and Yeonjun couldn't help but mirror it.

"I guess I have to go now."

The blue haired boy heaves out a disappointed sigh as he pulls away, finally putting distance between their bodies. Beomgyu bites back the complaint that almost spilled from his lips, already missing the warmth that radiated from Yeonjun's body. They share another smile as the older boy raises a hand to give another wave, stepping away and turning on his heel to make his way out of the building. He finds himself with his eyes lingering on Yeonjun's back, watching as he turns the corner to head down the staircase before he finally releases a sigh.

Fuck, he's really screwed.

"So, how did the date go last night?"

Those are the first words that left Soobin's lips as he excitedly walks inside Beomgyu's apartment at nine in the morning. The younger boy is in the middle of tugging on his sweater, running his fingers through his dark hair as he holds himself back from rolling his eyes.

"Hello to you too, hyung. How are you?" Beomgyu continues speaking, words spilling from his lips so easily as he holds up the conversation, "I'm doing absolutely wonderful, hyung. Thanks so much for asking me." 

"Oh, come on, you know that we don't do that anymore."

Sometimes, it amazes Beomgyu how easy it is for Soobin to make himself comfortable in his apartment. Other times, he'll speak out his disdain towards other people invading his personal space so easily. He doesn't let people get too comfortable with him because that would mean that he'll have to eventually show a vulnerable side of him. And sometimes, it can lead to them thinking that Beomgyu likes them when in the harsh reality, they don't even cross Beomgyu's mind on a normal day. 

Soobin is the only one who had made himself home in the parts of Beomgyu's life. Hell, Beomgyu had left enough space for him to settle down and Soobin took it without any hesitation. Beomgyu likes to think that they're soulmates (as he used to joke around before — Soobin definitely agrees though).

Once Beomgyu had slipped into his sweater, smoothing out the creases again, he makes his way over to the kitchen. He grabs hold of the cereal box, shaking it a few times to hear the rattle of the cereal inside before he opens up the flaps.

"Hey, you haven't answered my question."

It doesn't surprise him that Soobin had trailed right after him in the kitchen. He even takes out a bowl from the cabinet, pushing it over to Beomgyu's side, a quiet nudge for him to pour some cereal for him too. The younger boy rolls his eyes though he complies easily without another word.

"The date is amazing," Beomgyu lets the corners of his lips curve upwards into a wide smile at the flicker of memory of Yeonjun in his head. It fades away easily but it leaves Beomgyu with a trace of warmth embedded in the spaces of his ribcage.

"Really?" 

"Oh, yeah." He tips the milk over to fill up their bowls before he pushes the bowl back to Soobin. "It's perfect and Yeonjun is amazing, all right. So amazing that I couldn't even sabotage our date." 

"Wait," Soobin hurriedly drops the spoon in his bowl. Beomgyu lets a frown curve on his lips at the way the spoon had fallen completely into the milk-soaked cereal, choosing to ignore it instead in favor of eating from his own. 

"You were planning to sabotage your own date?" 

Beomgyu only elicits a nervous giggle at the words that accidentally fell from his lips. "Wow, hyung, I didn't say that I'll sabotage my date with Yeonjun. Stop putting words in my mouth." 

"Brat, you're making fun of me again." Soobin tries to kick him swiftly but Beomgyu easily dodges him, laughing once again. Though this time, his laugh sounds more lighthearted as he hurries away whilst carrying his own bowl of cereal. It's embarrassing that some of the milk spilled onto the hardwood floor but he only notes in his head to clean it up later. Or maybe he can convince Soobin to clean it instead. 

The older boy trails after him again, plopping down on the couch as he holds the bowl close to him so it wouldn't tip over. "So, does that mean that I was right about him being the one for you?" 

That earns a sigh from Beomgyu as he settles right beside him. He props up his feet by the edge of the table, shaking his head in disagreement. "I don't know why you're so obsessed with finding the one for me. You know that I don't believe in any of those things."

"That's what you're saying now but I know that you'll take them back once you realize that you're destined to meet Yeonjun."

He pauses, narrowing his eyes at the older boy. There's no hint of a slip up written across his expression — Soobin's face is void of emotions right now as he munches on the cereal. He's busy indulging himself in the sweetness of the morning treat that Beomgyu almost feels slightly guilty of being suspicious about him.

There's no way that Soobin would have known about his little night out with Yeonjun. Sure, Soobin has a hint of how everything had fallen that night but Beomgyu is sure that his best friend barely has an idea of who the stranger is. 

(The only reason why Beomgyu agrees that Soobin has every right to know about what happened that night is because he was the one who was pissed off when Beomgyu ran away from the club without telling him. He only discovered that Beomgyu had gone home early in the apartment though he did question why Beomgyu was wearing an unfamiliar set of sweatpants and a hoodie that certainly did not belong to him. It definitely didn't look like something that Beomgyu had stolen from his closet either so it was suspicious.

Beomgyu could only lie for so long though. He only winded up telling him that he bought those clothes a month ago, earning a rightful scolding from the older boy that he shouldn't spend so much money when he's practically broke now. Beomgyu also had the right to bring up the fact that Soobin went on retail therapy to soothe his aching heart over a failed test but he knew that he was only going to get another earful scolding so with a heavy sigh, he surrendered to a ten minute lecture from him.

It was better than hearing him stretch out the ways on how Beomgyu could save his money instead of buying on impulse.

It didn't take a week longer before Beomgyu finally broke down the story for his best friend, not quite detailing everything that ever happened but just enough for him to know. He didn't even say out loud what the stranger's name was — it felt more like a secret between him and that boy. 

He thought that Soobin would get mad at him but instead, he was swept up in his arms, telling him quietly. "It's okay, if you're really destined to meet again, you will."

Beomgyu doesn't believe in all of that. 

But he does believe in Soobin.)

All of this ties up in a small and simple conclusion: Soobin would not have known enough information to connect his story to Yeonjun. Not that Yeonjun would have spoken about his own version of what happened with Beomgyu but it would be nice to hear what he had to say about it.

"I don't believe in destiny."

It's the only response that Beomgyu could ever come up at that point. It's vague but it does sound like something that he would say so it's easy to get Soobin off his back.

The last thing he needs right now to get him to confront his feelings for Yeonjun.

(Not that he has any feelings for him. 

No, of course not.)

It's easy for Yeonjun to weave his way into Beomgyu's routine throughout the week. He's slowly becoming a constant that Beomgyu is growing especially fond of.

Beomgyu thinks that Monday mornings are a little less terrible when he lets his door unlock, gently nudging itself open so Yeonjun could slip inside with a paper bag filled with bagels. Beomgyu doesn't even like them all too much but it's such a sweet gesture from Yeonjun to wake up at such an ungodly hour to grab some breakfast for them before they head over to their own classes in their respective universities. Besides, Monday mornings used to be a little lonely because he didn't have anyone to walk with. But having Yeonjun so close to him, his laughter etched in the atmosphere as he falls in step with him, it feels like something that Beomgyu would want to look forward to every week. 

Tuesday afternoons are more tolerable when Yeonjun is sitting right in front of him in the public library, studying his notes for his upcoming tests. Beomgyu wants to tell him that he's already doing so well, that he doesn't have to stress himself out too much. But when Yeonjun reaches out to tangle his fingers with his own, his thumb running across Beomgyu's knuckles whilst he keeps his own eyes trailed on his notes, Beomgyu feels that slight tug in his heartstrings. He figures that Yeonjun finds comfort in having him so close like this and he doesn't mind it at all.

Their weekly late night run-ins at the local convenience store near Yeonjun's university always falls on Wednesday. It's the day when Yeonjun finds a way to fall asleep at his friend's dorm since his apartment is so far away while Beomgyu had struck out lucky because his own place is near. They always meet at the snacks aisle, grabbing too much junk food just so they could eat something to stay awake. It's the one thing that leaves Beomgyu smiling for the rest of the night, when Yeonjun wishes him good luck and I know you'll do amazing on your test before he leaves to hurry back to his friend's dorm. 

Thursday evenings are spent unwinding at the local café. It's the one break they have from dance training for Yeonjun and endless studying for Beomgyu. The little reward that they get after working so hard for the past days is seeing each other — it never fails to leave them smiling so hard that their cheeks have reached the point of aching. The soft forehead kisses that Yeonjun always gives to him once he walks Beomgyu safely back to his apartment would leave the younger boy blushing so hard that Yeonjun can't help but tease him.

("Why are you always blushing whenever I kiss you? Do you like me that much?"

"Oh, shut up, Yeonjun.")

Movie nights will always find their way in Yeonjun's apartment past ten in the evening on a Friday. It feels comfortable to watch the same films that they loved and him eventually falling asleep against Yeonjun's shoulder as they intertwine their fingers. He always wakes up on the bed the next day, with the blanket tightly wrapped around him and Yeonjun snuggling close to him for more warmth.

Weekends are spent back and forth in their apartments — sometimes, they can spend those two days in Yeonjun's place. In the other weeks, they'll wind up in Beomgyu's apartment and make memories under the hazy glow of the kitchen light. Beomgyu has grown so fond of him that he stays up late at night, a little afraid of falling asleep and wasting every second that he could be spending with Yeonjun instead. 

It's almost ludicrous how much he wants this — how much he wants Yeonjun to be a part of his daily routine. He didn't even realize it but soon, he found himself to be a little lonelier when Yeonjun wasn't around. 

Of course, his friends are always there, most especially Soobin. They fill him with the warmth and happiness that always traces itself the spaces of his ribcage. But even then, Beomgyu can feel the emptiness reside in his chest when the day ends and he doesn't get to catch a glance of the older boy. 

He didn't want to admit it but he finds himself longing for the older boy's company. Sure, it's nice to text him and even call him at times so he could hear his voice. But it feels different when Yeonjun stumbles through his front door and Beomgyu becomes overwhelmed in the best way possible when he feels his arms slip tightly around him. Even when the day has been nothing but harsh to Beomgyu, he feels every worry and doubt melt away when Yeonjun pulls him so close.

Beomgyu is so deep in his feelings for Yeonjun that he didn't even realize that he's no longer attracted to the idea of going around to date other people. He still receives confessions and subtle gestures from others to ask him out on a date. The answer remains the same for the past months now — I'm not interested, I'm sorry.

It always catches everyone baffled, clearly not used to Beomgyu turning someone down. If it's the same Beomgyu that they knew before, the boy wouldn't have to lift a finger before his phone becomes filled with messages to ask him out. It's easy for Beomgyu to cave in and date around because there are no strings attached for him.

Now, the idea itself is no longer appealing for him. His heart doesn't collapse in his ribcage when he finds someone else who might be charming and sweet to him. He no longer finds himself getting drawn in to other boys and girls, knowing that his eyes will always fall on someone that held his heart since months ago.

It's always Yeonjun that he'll find his way back home to.

But Beomgyu doesn't know if he wants this. If he'll ever want any of this — the shared smiles between the two of them as their fingers intertwine together. The way they naturally gravitate towards each other when they're walking together, feeling so at home with each other. The way Yeonjun always looks at him if Beomgyu holds his heart in his hands.

(Yeonjun wouldn't mind if Beomgyu would be willing to break it one day.

His heart belonged to Beomgyu from the very beginning, after all.)

It's Wednesday night and Beomgyu isn't expecting anyone to come visit him around this time. Everyone knows that Beomgyu loses himself in his work and no one shouldn't bother him, especially on a day where he reserved especially for himself.

The incessant knocking on his front door manages to drag him out of his thoughts, forcing him to rise from the couch with a groan. He's already reciting in his head what he needs to say out loud to whoever is on the other side of the door. A memorized speech of I'm busy studying, I'll talk to you next time.

But when he unlocks the door and lets it fall open, Yeonjun stands on the other side with the brightest smile that he has ever seen on his features. He looks as breathtaking as he did the first time they met — only this time, his hair is bleached to blonde and Beomgyu would be lying if he said that he isn't enamoured by him all over again.

"What are you doing here?" As if to grasp the remnants of his pride, he crosses his arms and tries to act dismissive. But Yeonjun sees through him so easily, letting out a laugh as he leans in close enough to catch the other boy off guard. Their faces are so near that Beomgyu could have kissed him if he wanted to. 

"Nothing, I just wanted to see you."

If it's anyone else, Beomgyu would have let the door fall back shut, rolling his eyes afterwards. It's not the first time that someone who's interested in him has made a move like this — he's supposed to be used to it now.

But Yeonjun is not just anyone else.

"What, you miss me?" 

"I always do." 

It takes everything in Beomgyu not to break into a wide smile. He hates how every line that sounds awfully cliché from other people's lips, they sound so heart-fluttering when it comes to Yeonjun. He always had been a little too charming, to the point that Beomgyu would stumble and fall a little more for him. 

(No, no — he isn't in love. He's not supposed to be in love with him.) 

"You think I'm going to let you in just because you miss me?" Beomgyu keeps his voice lighthearted, an eyebrow arching the slightest. There's a smile written across his lips, unable to stop himself from teasing the older boy as he crosses his arms over his chest. "I still have some work to do, Yeonjun."

"Come on, we barely talked yesterday." This time, a whine wraps around Yeonjun's words, bright eyes settling on him as he loosely slides an arm around Beomgyu's waist to pull him closer. The lack of proximity between their bodies leaves Beomgyu heaving out a sigh, already feeling himself crumble so easily. He hates how weak he gets for the other boy but he really can't resist him.

"So clingy."

That's all he winds up saying before he tugs away, pulling Yeonjun inside the tiny apartment. He hears the way Yeonjun stumbles right behind him, a soft noise of surprise leaving his lips but Beomgyu only laughs. The door falls shut behind them and they find their way to the couch, falling comfortably against each other.

It's warm and Beomgyu finds himself yearning for more — there's something utterly comforting at the way Yeonjun wraps his arms around him. The way he can press his back against the older boy's chest, drowning in the warmth as he drifts through his notes.

As much as he wants to focus on his notes, it's distracting how Yeonjun has his face buried against the crook of his neck. His arms are tightly wound around Beomgyu's torso, tugging him in as close as possible. It's as if Yeonjun has been longing to have him near like this and Beomgyu is willing to indulge him in whatever he wants to do.

"You know, we never talked about what Soobin told you about me before," Yeonjun lazily lets his thumb drag against Beomgyu's knuckles. "From what I heard, you didn't like the dates that Soobin set you up with before."

"They're always so boring, that's why."

"So, what about me?"

It doesn't take a heartbeat of silence before Beomgyu catches on to what Yeonjun wants to hear from him. It's obvious that he wants to hear whatever convinced Beomgyu to go on this date and not ditch him at the very last minute. Knowing Beomgyu and his infatuation for Yeonjun almost seven months ago, he would have backed out at the last moment if Soobin didn't tell him who it was.

Like the stars have arranged the little meeting, drew them so their paths would collide again. 

Even if Beomgyu didn't believe in fate, there's something comforting about the stars looking out for him like this.

"Well," The dark haired boy pursues his lips, finally taking his attention away from his handwritten notes. "He said that you're great at dancing." 

"Check." 

Beomgyu emits a laugh at the confidence etched in Yeonjun's voice, mindlessly flipping through the pages of his notebook. Glancing over his shoulder, he's met with an expectant smile drawn across Yeonjun's lips and he hates to admit that his heart fell straight through his rib cage, hurriedly looking away. "You're incredibly handsome." 

"I know, have you seen me?" Yeonjun runs a hand through his blonde strands, a teasing smile on his mouth. "A lot of people already said that I'm the best." 

"Don't push it, Choi Yeonjun. You're not going to get a compliment from me." 

"Fine," He can hear the way Yeonjun sulks right behind him but he continues speaking, voice a little muffled as he buries his face on his shoulder again. "What else did he say?" 

"Nothing else," Beomgyu's voice is teetering close to being playful, shaking his head. He pulls away just enough so he could turn around, facing the older boy this time as he reaches out to let their fingers graze along with each other. But he never laces their fingers; he only lets his thumb graze along the blonde haired boy's knuckles, a faint smile on his lips. 

"Maybe Soobin hyung should have warned me that you're going to be really annoying."

For a moment, he briefly thought that Yeonjun would get offended at his words. But instead, he only sees the way the older male shakes his head just the slightest with his eyes flickering over to Beomgyu with the corners of his lips curved up into a sweet smile, "You like it though."

Maybe it's the way that Yeonjun always feels so assured that Beomgyu likes him just as much as he does with him. Or maybe because he can't suppress the emotions within him — it always comes spilling past his fingertips as his heart rests in his throat. It's always been a little difficult to keep his feelings buried six feet deep in the spaces of his rib cage; he's always rendered speechless by how overwhelming everything is. 

"Yeah," He finds himself saying, voice as soft as a whisper as he mirrors the smile written on Yeonjun's mouth, "I do like it."

When he catches sight of how pretty Yeonjun looks under the glow of the living room's lights, his heart beats rapidly against his chest. An echo of beats that resonate in the hollow opening of his ribs.

He thinks that he doesn't mind this feeling at all.

("Are you really going to sleep here?" Beomgyu stifles a yawn, sinking down on the sheets. It feels comfortable and it leaves him with the exhaustion wrapping around his tone, words dragging past his lips. "It's not that late. You can still head back home."

"No, it's okay. I'll stay for a bit." He feels the other side of bed shift as Yeonjun settles right behind him. It doesn't even take another second before his arms eventually slither around Beomgyu's frame, pulling him close. Beomgyu hates how easy it is for him to crumble almost immediately — there's something about Yeonjun that leaves him yearning for more.

Beomgyu feels himself slowly drifting to sleep. His fingers lightly graze along the knuckles of the older boy, a soft sigh falling from his lips as he melts against Yeonjun's body. He's too exhausted that he doesn't realize the words that have fallen from his mouth.

"Can you stay for tonight?"

For as long as Beomgyu knew himself, he never asked someone to do that. Everyone else only took up the space beside him on the bed but he didn't care enough. But the thought of waking up without Yeonjun right beside him, it leaves him with his throat tightening.

He wants to take them back. He really does.

But every word vanishes from his lips when he feels the way Yeonjun shifts just a little closer as he lets his lips brush against the top of Beomgyu's head in an affectionate manner.

"Of course. I'd stay for as long as you want me to."

With that, his heart ceases in beating so fast. It falls into a steady and calming beat — a rhythm that slowly lulls him to sleep as he lets his dream clutch onto him so tightly.

He forgets about everything else around him. That night, it's only him and Yeonjun.

No one else.)

Beomgyu doesn't want to feel like this.

He has said over and over again to himself for so many years, whispering his wishes to the stars for the longing that he kept hidden in his chest. The quiet need to wake up someone that he absolutely adored for the rest of his days.

When his eyes flutter open this morning, he expected to see the emptiness right beside him. Like it always had been for so long already. But when he reaches out, his heart falls still and his body reacts on instinct as he glances at his side.

Yeonjun's soft blonde strands lay across the pillow with half of his face pressed against the sheets. He looks so deep in his sleep that Beomgyu feels drawn to him. It's been a little too long since he had someone who had their walls stripped away, the willingness to show vulnerability for who they really are. 

For a moment in time, Beomgyu realizes how vulnerable they really are. How their walls have been knocked down and their hearts have been laid out in the open, emotions flickering down their veins.

And god, Beomgyu was afraid. 

As much as he wants to reach out and let himself fall, he only winds up hurriedly building up his walls. It doesn't care if they will eventually stumble down one day — not now. Not when he doesn't know what he really wants.

"Beomgyu?"

His breath is caught in his throat and despite how much he's trying to calm down the erratic beating of his heart, Beomgyu can still feel the way his fingers are trembling. He doesn't know why he's so afraid — it's only Yeonjun.

It's just Yeonjun.

Beomgyu wants to laugh at how ridiculous his thoughts have become.

Yeonjun isn't just someone that's passing through his life. After years of drifting through dates and breaking other people's hearts without an ounce of mercy, he's the first one to ever break down Beomgyu's walls. The possibility of crossing paths with a blue haired boy from months ago with a bright smile and an even brighter laugh — Beomgyu could no longer calculate it.

He knows it's nearly impossible, especially when there are nine million residents in Seoul. Too many people for him to collide with someone who'll hold on tightly around his heart.

And yet, it happened. 

"I'm going to head back home today." 

"Are you hungry?"

The words feel familiar but somehow, they weigh so much heavier for Beomgyu this time. It feels like he's falling backwards to seven months ago — when he's on his way to leaving Yeonjun's apartment.

This time, it's happening all over again.

It takes a moment before Yeonjun rises from the bed. He runs his fingers through his strands, smoothing out the creases on his shirt as he leaves the bed. Glancing at the other boy in confusion, he ends up shaking his head with a faint smile that leaves Beomgyu with his heart crashing to his feet.

"No."

"Okay," Beomgyu tries to burn the remnants of disappointment within him as he follows Yeonjun out of the bedroom. He ignores the way his heart throws itself against his rib cage or the way his fingers won't stop trembling even as he tries his best to calm himself down. 

(Why is he so nervous? There's no reason for him to be nervous.) 

Every step that they take towards the front door feels like walking straight into what they used to be — strangers that spent a night of falling in love with each other. Beomgyu knows the ending to this so well and yet, it feels like his body is running on autopilot again. He can't stop himself from what's going to happen next and he hates himself more and more as each second slips by.

"I had fun with you, Yeonjun." 

His name feels foreign in his Beomgyu's mouth but somehow, it fills him with the warmth he loved for so long. This feels a little different than what they used to know — Yeonjun smiling over his shoulder and so unaware of what's supposed to happen to them. 

"I had fun with you too."

The silence echoes not for too long before Beomgyu speaks up, his voice strained and filled with unspoken questions of what-ifs.

"I'll see you again...?" 

Yeonjun only lets out a laugh, leaning in to wrap him up in a tight embrace. Beomgyu finds himself surrendering so easily, indulging himself in the warmth that surrounds him for only a few seconds. Another soft kiss on his forehead and everything feels quite cold when Yeonjun breaks away from his hold. 

"Of course, we'll see each other again." 

Everything feels so different yet he knows that they're still the same. The same boys from months ago when they didn't want anything beyond a night that they shared. 

Except this time, Beomgyu isn't sure of what he wants anymore.

Watching as Yeonjun slips away from his grasp, the sound of his footsteps slowly receding in the hallway, Beomgyu lets out a shuddering breath before he lets the door fall shut. The fear doesn't leave him — it overwhelms his senses and every thought that collides in his head. 

Is everything really going to be worth it in the end? 

It's been two weeks since Yeonjun has fallen right out of his routine again.

Beomgyu knows that he shouldn't be doing this. That it's wrong for him to ignore the endless texts and calls from the older boy, for the favor of indulging himself in his thoughts. He tried to swallow every feeling he ever had, all the fleeting emotions that he ever had for the older boy. It's easier than confronting the fear that still resides in him — one that quietly tightens its hold around his throat and rendering him breathless. 

It isn't a surprise to anyone that he tries to start dating around. He feels like it'll be easier to fall in and out of relationships that never meant a single thing about him. Flings that only made his heart collapse in his chest for a few days before the feelings dissipate soon after.

He's back to breaking other people's hearts, telling them to leave his apartment because oh, it's not working out anymore. In between all of that, his replies to Yeonjun have remained nothing but emotionless, completely out of the way he usually acts around him. He knows that he has him feeling more worried than ever but Beomgyu can't look at him without feeling like his heart would burst through his chest.

Beomgyu would be lying if he said that he wasn't surprised when Soobin shows up at his doorstep another week later with a frown creasing his features. When Beomgyu had opened the door early in this morning, he felt himself hurriedly drift through the excuses in his head, wanting to say anything on the spot for the reason why he's acting like this. 

Even before Beomgyu can part his lips, Soobin raises a hand to stop him before he narrows his eyes. "Don't give me any excuses. I know you well enough now, Beomgyu so don't lie to me." Beomgyu can't voice out a complaint when Soobin steps inside his apartment, tracing his way over to the couch. Beomgyu grips the edge of the door before he gently pushes it so it'll fall shut. 

If he's being honest, he's afraid of what Soobin has to say to him. Even though they've been friends for so long, Soobin never liked how he spent so much time dating other people and breaking their hearts. There's nothing wrong if Beomgyu feels attracted to them but he can't crush them beneath his heel whenever he feels bored of a relationship.

And right kow, Beomgyu is caught in his fear that Soobin will only scold him for today.

"Hyung," His voice comes out soft, unsure as he crosses the distance between them. Soobin doesn't flinch, his expression passive since he came in and that's even more terrifying for him.

The quietness echoes between them and all around the four walls as Beomgyu silently takes up the space beside him. He expected Soobin to lash out, to get mad at him for acting up and hurting his friend. Beomgyu has to let his nails press against his palms as he breathes out a shaky sigh, nervously shifting away from his best friend.

"Gyu," Soobin finally speaks out, his shoulders slumping as he glances at the younger boy with a frown, "Do you not like Yeonjun hyung? Is that why you're trying to cut off your relationship with him?"

Beomgyu can't even form the words, feeling every thought in his head trail away. He's left feeling rather numb than anxious this time around because god knows how much he exhausted himself by thinking too much.

"You know that I don't really like to get involved in your relationship with other people but come on, Gyu," It's almost as if Soobin is pleading this time, the streak of concern on his expression. "You were so happy with Yeonjun hyung. So much happier than I've ever seen you with anyone else before. If you really don't like him anymore then you at least owe him a proper breakup."

"We aren't dating. We never said that we were exclusive," Beomgyu scoffs, trying his hardest to build up his walls. His voice is cold as he gazes at the lines running across his palms instead, "He can find someone else if he wants to. I would be fine with it."

"Will you really be okay with that?"

It's only one question — Beomgyu can hold onto his pride and say yes if he wanted to. But as he parts his lips, he feels the word wrap tightly around his neck as he sinks his teeth onto his lower lip. He ends up shaking his head before he leans back against the couch, sniffling slightly as he continues staring at his hands again.

"No, I don't think so." His voice falters at the end, realizing how heavy that answer had hung itself at the edge of the atmosphere. Soobin straightens himself up, gazing at Beomgyu with worry tinted in his eyes. 

"Then why are you pushing him away?" 

Beomgyu pursues his lips quietly. He can't look at Soobin directly — it feels like he has so many things to say right now. But even then, the words have dissipated from his lips as his train of thoughts collapse.

"Hyung," He unknowingly digs his nails against his palms, leaving behind crescent-like marks. "I just... don't know what to do. I like Yeonjun so much but fuck, it feels so overwhelming to have these feelings."

There's shame running his veins right now and he hates himself for feeling like this. Even when he's dating around, Yeonjun never left his mind. He knows that they aren't exclusive, that it's fine for him to do this but the guilt never left him. It's the longing for someone that's already right there for him — all he needs is to reach out.

But he's so afraid. So utterly afraid of anything that can go wrong in this relationship.

He wants to say more but his throat feels too tight and he's digging his nails too much against his skin. Beomgyu jolts in surprise when he feels Soobin wrapping his arms around him tightly for a warm embrace. He feels his nerves slipping away as he rests against Soobin, curling up against his larger frame and taking comfort in him.

"Can I tell you something?"

"What is it?"

Soobin shifts a little, tightening his arms around Beomgyu. "I know that Yeonjun is the one you talked about before. The one you met months ago." 

"What?" He breaks away this time, eyes widening as he glances at his best friend. He's met with a streak of guilt on his expression as Soobin shrugs his shoulders listlessly with his gaze on his fingers instead. 

"You know that I met him when I took up dance, right? He told me about you when we went out drinking one time and just from the way he talked about you, it's obvious how much he likes you." 

Beomgyu feels his breath slip by his lips, still reeling over the fact that Soobin knew this whole time. He knows that Beomgyu has been yearning to find that boy, even if he only talked about him once. And now that he's hearing that Yeonjun has been going through the same as he did — talking about him like he lingered at the back of his mind, it leaves Beomgyu with his cheeks going flushed. His heart rests in the confines of his throat and he can't think of anything else but one thing. 

Yeonjun likes him. 

He likes him so much. 

"God," He murmurs as he rises from the couch, turning to Soobin for reassurance. "I need to talk to him, don't I?" 

All he receives is a nod from the older boy and a faint smile drawn across his lips. It's everything that Beomgyu needed as confirmation as he pulls away, already grabbing hold of his coat and slipping it on. 

"Don't worry, I'll save you some ice cream once you get home!"

Soobin calls out to him as Beomgyu steps out into the hallway. He waves a hand dismissively, head already full of thoughts about the one boy. It doesn't matter to him anymore that his apartment is too far away and it's far too cold — he needs to see him.

He needs to tell him what he feels.

The entire bus ride feels so long — longer that he expected it to be. Maybe because the anxiety is making his stomach twist and he can't tear his attention from what lies ahead of him. He's unknowingly digging his nails against his palms again; dark crescent-like marks are left on his skin the moment he finally notices what he's doing.

He lets out a shaky breath when the bus finally rolls to a stop, forcing him to stand. Hurriedly pushing past the other people, he runs down the steps and makes his way to the nearby apartment building. Beomgyu feels more nervous now, especially when every step is leading him closer to what he's been fearing since the start.

But if Yeonjun likes him just as much then it'll be worth it, isn't it? Something about Yeonjun makes him want to risk everything after all. 

Let his heart be broken if it needs to be.

His footsteps resonate so loud, drowning out every thought in his head as he traces his way up the stairs. Silently, he counts the floors until he hits the third floor, anxiously glancing at the third door on his left.

It's late afternoon already and the hallway is so quiet that Beomgyu can hear the way every exhale leaves his lips. His heart is beating against his chest — not as loud as it did before but he can still hear the way the blood rushes in his ears. Once again, he crosses the distance between the stairwell and the door, praying to the stars that he wouldn't be turned away. 

But the possibility of that happening, it's bleak. A blur of scenarios that might never happen. 

He raises a hand, holding in a breath as he presses the doorbell, letting the sound echo. There's muffled footsteps that follow right after with the words wait a minute! accompanying the sound. But it fades away so quickly and the silence stretches itself for so long that Beomgyu feels anxious all over again. 

What if Yeonjun turns him away? What if he turned cold this whole time? 

What if Yeonjun doesn't like him anymore? 

Before his thoughts have descended more into a chaotic mess, he hears the distinct click of the door before it slowly opens. His heart falls still as Yeonjun finally comes into view, eyes flickering over to him. 

He's guarded. His dark eyes are fixated on Beomgyu and it's obvious that he's struggling to keep a passive expression. The only way Beomgyu can see how he truly feels is the way Yeonjun's knuckles have turned white from holding onto the edge of the door a little too much. A frown creases his features as he speaks up, voice cold and unbothered. 

"What are you doing here, Beomgyu?" 

He knows that he deserves this treatment. He's been cold for two weeks, almost three weeks by now. Of course, Yeonjun would act the same — he's building up his walls again and Beomgyu feels so awfully guilty.

"Yeonjun." His name still tastes like honey dripping the edge of his voice and it fills Beomgyu with the same warmth that he grew so fond of for the past months. He can see the way Yeonjun falters, his frown wavering as he turns his head away to break the eye contact this time.

"I'm sorry," Beomgyu wants to reach out, feel that same warmth again. But he knows that he shouldn't cross that line. Not when Yeonjun is still guarded, not quite trusting his intentions right now.

And he's not wrong — Yeonjun lets out a scoff, dark eyes tinted with anger. "Are you really sorry? Did you get bored of your other relationships again that you're running back to me?" A sigh follows right after, his voice becoming uncharacteristically soft this time around. "You did this to me before, Beomgyu. Why are you doing it again? Did I do something wrong?"

"No, no. Oh god," That's when Beomgyu feels the surge of overwhelming emotions crash in him as he reaches out, fingers grasping his sleeve. Yeonjun flinches at the touch and that's enough for Beomgyu to drop it, swallowing the lump in his throat.

"You didn't do anything wrong. It's me, hyung—" He pauses, teeth sinking onto his lower lip as he bravely crosses the remaining distance between them though he doesn't reach out. Not yet.

"I got really scared. I never felt this much for someone else and I didn't know what to do. I know I'm wrong for trying to leave you without telling you but," His voice falters, feeling the words get lodged in his throat. But he needs to say them, for both of their sakes.

His heart be damned.

"I don't want to leave you. I want to stay and try to work this out with you."

Yeonjun stands there, eyes carefully taking in everything. The frown is no longer drawn on his features and Beomgyu feels the urge to leave. Does Yeonjun want him to leave? Is he overstepping his boundaries again?

But those questions no longer matter anymore. Not when Yeonjun stepped forward to wrap his arms around him tightly, leaving him breathless. He feels the comfort of Yeonjun pressing his face against his shoulder and Beomgyu is overwhelmed again — only this time, he doesn't bury those feelings in the spaces of his ribs. No, he feels them seeping through his veins, dripping from his fingers and he still feels so scared. 

"You don't have to be scared alone, Gyu," Yeonjun's voice is so affectionate as he pulls away to gaze at the younger male with a fond look in his eyes. "I'm terrified. So terrified that we'll mess this up, that we might end up breaking each other's hearts."

"But you know what? I'd rather have you break my heart than to be with anyone else." 

Beomgyu feels the surge of relief through his body. The fear lingers at the back of his mind but it's okay. As Beomgyu leans in close, sinking right into Yeonjun's embrace, he has never felt so safe and so at home before.

He feels like he's always going to be afraid. But if he gets to come home to Yeonjun like this, maybe it'll be alright.

The hours have left Beomgyu feeling more drained than ever. Though he knows that he aced his exam, he still feels the exhaustion weigh itself in his bones. He can't wait to go back home and fall asleep in the comfort of his bed for the next two days.

Checking the time on his phone, a frown graces his lips at the sight of it. It's nearing six in the evening and he knows that Yeonjun's classes ended at around three in the afternoon. He already texted him that he'll be out late and that Yeonjun should go home for today. But all he receives in reply from him is, I'll wait for you, don't worry.

He does assume that Yeonjun must have gone home at one point. The distance between their apartments and their universities would be too long for Yeonjun to suffer through if he stayed.

With a sigh, he steps out of his department's building, eyes flickering over to the remaining students still hanging around. But to his surprise, he catches sight of Yeonjun sitting at the very bottom step of the staircase. A paper bag of snacks sits on his lap as two drinks sit by his side.

Beomgyu hurries over to him, glancing to check if it's really the same blonde haired boy. "Yeonjun hyung?"

As soon as his name falls from Beomgyu's lips, the mentioned male raises his head and almost immediately, a smile graces his lips. His eyes look so bright under the fading afternoon light and Beomgyu, for a moment, feels the surge of emotions collide within his chest.

How does Yeonjun always manage to leave him breathless?

"Hey, I thought I told you to go home?"

"Oh, hello, Gyu. I'm doing absolutely fine, thanks for asking." He rolls his eyes in response as Yeonjun rises from the bottom step, a laugh falling from the older boy's lips. He wraps his arms tightly around Beomgyu's frame, pulling him in close to leave a soft kiss on top of his head.

Beomgyu can't help but sink right into Yeonjun's embrace, arms loosely sliding around his waist to tug him flushed against his figure. "Did you really wait for me?"

"I did," Upon seeing the streak of concern on Beomgyu's expression, Yeonjun leans in to leave a fleeting kiss on his lips. It's quick but even then, Beomgyu's heart collapses in his chest. "Don't worry, I was productive with my time alone."

"I'm not worrying about that," Beomgyu breaks away from his arms, arching a brow the slightest. "Are you feeling cold?"

"Aw, look at you worrying your pretty little head about me."

All Yeonjun receives in response is Beomgyu twisting his lips into a scowl. But of course, Yeonjun knows so well how to take away the worries that's still settling in Beomgyu's chest, even if he never voices them out.

He leans in close, fingers gently holding onto Beomgyu's cheeks as he can dip his head, pressing his lips against the younger boy's. It's soft and sweet — exactly how Yeonjun loves to kiss him. There's no rush in chasing after something now. They're perfectly fit in each other's arms now and Beomgyu has never felt so at home before.

Yeonjun pulls him as close as he can, playfully catching his lower lip between his teeth to tug on it before he leaves a fleeting kiss on his lips. It leaves Beomgyu with flushed cheeks and a breathless smile curved upon his lips though a whine easily finds its way past when Yeonjun breaks the kiss. He unknowingly chases after his lips and the fond laugh that escapes Yeonjun's mouth brings him to a realization of what he's doing.

"Cute," The blonde haired boy leans in to kiss the side of his head, throwing an arm around his waist to tug him near to his frame. "We can kiss more later, if you want."

Beomgyu grumbles at his words, cheeks reddening in embarrassment. "Shut up, you're so annoying."

"You like me though."

The younger boy doesn't respond to him, only choosing to pick up the paper bag and the drinks so he can hold them close to his body. He starts to walk away and Yeonjun is left behind, stunned at the way he was brushed off before he yells out, "Hey! Wait for me!"

A fit of laughter bursts from the warmth in Beomgyu's chest as he feels the way Yeonjun drapes his body against his. He feels so warm and comforting, a longing for a home that Beomgyu didn't know he loved.

He gently pulls himself even closer to Yeonjun's embrace, basking in his touch. "I like you a lot, don't worry."

"I know, Gyu. I'm not worried about that."

"Are you not going to say it back?" Beomgyu sulks right at him, slapping Yeonjun's hand when he tries to reach out for the paper bag. The older boy winces but he does laugh afterwards, ignoring the very slight sting from the light slap on the back of his hand.

As he glances at Yeonjun, seeing the light dance in his dark eyes and how bright his smile is, Beomgyu finds himself thanking whoever led his path to him. 

There are seven billion people, nine million souls in Seoul alone. But somehow, Beomgyu finds himself colliding with the same boy that owned his heart from the very beginning. The probability of that happening is too small and yet, here they are.

Call it whatever you want to call it — destiny, fate, the intervention of the gods and stars alike.

In the end, Beomgyu is thankful that against all the odds, he found someone who likes him as much as he likes him.

He found Yeonjun against all odds.

"I like you too, Beomgyu."