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Chapter Text

Linderwall was a large kingdom just east of the Mountains Of Morning, where philosophers were highly respected and the number five was fashionable. The knights kept their armor shining (mostly for show) despite it having been centuries since a dragon had come west. There was the occasional problem of royal children and uninvited fairies, but it was always the short of thing that could be cleared up by finding the right prince or princess to marry the unfortunate child a few years later. All in all Linderwall was a very prosperous and pleasant place to live.

Prince Patton was the youngest child of the King of Linderwall and his parents found him rather trying. Their six daughters were your typical princesses with long golden hair and lovely dispositions.

Patton was handsome enough, but he had uncontrollable strawberry blond curls. He was also shorter and chubbier than most princes, his parents were sure that no princess would want to marry a man who could look her in the eye instead of gazing down at her with love and adoration. As for the boy’s dispositions; he was very kind and sweet but incredibly stubborn.

The King and Queen did the best they could. They hired the most prestigious tutors and governors to teach him everything a prince ought to know such as; dancing, fencing, politics, and etiquette. There was a great deal of etiquette, from how to bow before a visiting princess to the proper way to issue a duel. Patton found the whole thing rather dull but he clenched his jaw and learned it anyways.

When it all became too much for him to handle, Patton would go down and have the castle seamstress teach him sewing and embroidery; for the young prince enjoyed working with his hands. As he grew older he found his normal lessons more and more dull and his sewing lessons more and more frequent.

When he was twelve his father found out.

“Sewing and embroidery is not proper behavior for a prince.” His father said in the gentle but firm voice recommended by the court philosopher.

Patton tilted his head to one side “why not?”

“It’s…. It’s simply not done.”

“Aren’t I a prince?” Patton asked.

“Yes, of course you are.” His father said relieved, glad that he hadn’t burst into tears like his sisters would have.

“Well,” Patton said “I sew. So it is done by a prince.”

“That doesn’t make it proper dear” his mother put in gently.

“Why not?”

“It simply doesn’t” the Queen said firmly, and that was the end of Patton’s sewing lessons.

------

When Patton was fourteen it was discovered that he was having the court magician teach him magic.

“And how long has this been going on?” His father asked when Patton answered his summons.

“Since you stopped my sewing and embroidery lessons.” Patton said “I’m guessing that you're going to tell me that it’s not proper behavior for a prince.”

“Well yes, it isn’t proper.”

“Nothing interesting seems to be proper,” Patton complained.

“You might find things more interesting if you applied yourself more.” Patton’s mother told him. The boy just sighed and nodded, choosing not to argue.

-----

The same thing happened over the Latin lessons from the court philosopher, the cooking lessons from the castle chef, the botany lessons from the castle gardner, and the knitting lessons from one of the maids.

When he was sixteen Patton summoned his fairy godmother.

“Patton my dear, this sort of thing isn’t done” she said, waving away the blue smoke that accompanied her arrival.

“People keep telling me that,” Patton said.

“Well then you should listen to them,” his fairy godmother said, annoyed. “I’m not used to being summoned away from my tea without warning. And you aren’t supposed to call me unless it’s a matter of utmost importance to your life and future happiness.”

“It is a matter of utmost importance to my life and future happiness!”

“Oh well, I suppose you are a bit young to have fallen in love. But you always have been a precious child. Tell me about her.”

Patton sighed softly to himself “it isn't a her.”

“Oh” his fairy godmother blinked with a spark of interest “it's a him, well I suppose that has become more popular these days.”

“No, no! I’m not in love with anyone.” Patton said.

“Then what is your problem?”

“This!” He waved a hand at the castle behind him “fencing lessons, and dancing, and… and being a prince!” He said in frustration.

“But Patton,” The Fairy said in shock “it’s your heritage!”

“It’s boring.”

“Boring?” The Fairy could not believe what she was hearing.

“Boring.” Patton repeated, starting losing his temper “I want to do things! Not sit around all day and listen to the court minstrel make up song about how brave dad is and how lovely his wife and children are.”

“Nonsense. This is just a stage you’re going through. You’ll outgrow it soon, and you’ll be happy that you didn’t do anything rash.”

Patton looked at his godmother suspiciously. “You’ve been talking with my parents, haven’t you.”

“Well, they do try and keep me updated on what my godchildren are doing.”

“I thought so,” Patton said with a sigh and wished his fairy godmother goodbye.

Chapter Text

A few weeks after Patton had spoken with his fairy godmother his parents took him to a tourney in Sathem-By-The-Mountains, which was the next kingdom over. Patton was sure that the only reason they were taking him was because his fairy godmother had told them that something needed to be done about him, and soon. Still, it was better than the endless fencing lessons and political classes back home.

Patton realized what was going almost as soon as they reached their destination, for the King Of Sathem-By-The-Mountains had a son. He was golden-haired, blue eyed, and handsome prince. And it seemed as if his only duties consisted entirely of attending to Patton.

“Isn’t he handsome” Patton’s maid sighed.

“Yes,” he admitted “it’s a shame he isn’t anything else.”

“What do you mean?” The maid asked.

“Well, not to be rude, but he isn’t intelligent, he has no sense of humor, all he ever talks about is tourneys, and everything else he says is wrong!” Patton explained “thank goodness we’re only staying three weeks.” He sighed.

“But what about the engagement?” The maid cried.

“What engagement?”

The maid triad muttered something about a mistake but Patton lifted his head in her best royal fashion and insisted on a explanation. And the maid broke down.

“I… I overheard Their Majesties talking about it yesterday.” She sniffled “The contracts and settlements have all been drawn up, they’re going to sign the paper the day after tomorrow and announce it on Th-Thursday.”

“Thank you for telling me,” Patton said gently. He then gave her a hug and a handkerchief and sent her off.

-------

After the maid had left Patton went to see his parents. They were annoyed and a little embarrassed that he had found out their plans, but they were still firm about them.

“We knew you’d be pleased” his mother said nodding “he’s such a good looking boy.”

“But I don’t want to marry Prince August,” Patton said.

“Well, it's not exactly a perfect match,” Patton’s father said, frowning. “But we didn’t think that you would care about how big his kingdom is.”

“It’s the prince I don’t care for.”

“That’s a shame, but it can’t be helped” his mother said “I’m afraid that it’s not likely that you’ll get another offer.”

“Then I won’t get married at all!” Patton boldly declared.

Both of his parents looked shocked “Patton!” His father said “that is out of the question. You are a prince; it simply isn’t done.”

“I’m too young to get married!”

“Your Great-Aunt Rose was married at sixteen,” his mother pointed out. “No one can really count all those years she spent under that fairy’s curse.”

“I won’t marry the prince of Sathem-By-The-Mountains” Patton said desperately “it isn’t proper!”

“What?” both his parents said.

“He hasn’t rescued me from a giant or an ogre, or saved me from a magic spell.”

“Well, yes” his father admitted “it’s a bit late to arrange something but we might be able to manage something.”

“I don’t think that will be necessary.” Patton’s mother said before turning to him. “You’ve never cared about what is or isn’t suitable before, you can’t start now. Proper or not, you will marry Prince August three weeks from Thursday.”

“Mother please-”

“I will send the wardrobe mistress to your room to start fitting your groom's clothes.” The Queen said firmly and that was the end of the conversation.

-------

Patton decided that if his parents wouldn’t listen then he would talk to his, now, fiancé. So he set off to go find Prince August. He was in the castle armory, studying swords. “Good morning your highness.” He said when he saw Patton “don’t you think this is a lovely sword?”

Patton picked it up “it’s nice but the balance is off.” Patton was much of a fighter but even he could tell when a sword wasn’t balanced.

“Huh, I believe you're right.” August said after he studied it “pity, I’ll have to find another. Is there something I can do for you?”

“Yes,” Patton said “you can not marry me.”

“I’m sorry?” The prince said, confused.

“Well, I mean, do you even want to marry me?” He asked.

“Um… well.. No.” August admitted “it’s just… you're a boy, not that there’s anything wrong with that!” He said quickly “but I’m just not into that.”

“It’s fine.” Patton said with a smile, relieved “so you’ll tell your father that you don’t want to marry me?”

“I can’t do that!” August said, shocked “it wouldn’t be right!”

“Why not?”

“Because princes just don’t do that.” He said “you should know that.”

“But then how are you going to keep from marrying me?” Patton asked.

“I guess I won't be able too.” August said after thinking very hard for a moment. “How do you like that one over there? The one with the silver hilt?”

Chapter Text

Patton left the armory and went out to the castle garden, feeling discouraged. It looked like he would have to marry the prince of the Sathem-By-The-Mountains whether he wanted to or not.

“I’d rather be eaten by a dragon.” He muttered.

“That can be arranged.” A voice said from besides his left shoe. He looked down and saw a small green frog looking up at him.

“I’m sorry,” he said “did you speak?”

“I certainly did.”

“Oh!” Patton had never met a talking frog before “are you.. An enchanted prince?” He asked.

“No, but I’ve met a couple of them. And over time you pick up on a few things.” The frog said “now, why is it that you want to be eaten by a dragon?”

“My parents are marrying me off to Prince August,” he said sadly.

“And you don’t want to? Sensible of you.” The frog said “I don’t like August too much, he always used to skip rocks across the top of my pond. They always sank into my living room.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Well,” the frog said “what are you doing to do?”

“About marrying August? I don’t know. I tried talking to my parents but they won’t listen. And neither with August.”

“I didn’t ask what you have said.” The frog snapped “I asked what you are going to do. Nine times out of ten, talking is a way of avoiding doing things.”

“What kind of things would you suggest?” Patton asked.

“You could challenge him to a duel.”

“He’d win.” Patton said “I’m terrible at fencing.”

“You could turn him into a toad.”

“I never got past invisibility in my magic lessons, transfiguration is advanced studies.”

“Can’t you do anything?” The frog asked.

“I can bow,” Patton said with light disgust, “I know sixteen country dances, nine ways to agree with an ambassador from Cathy without promising him anything, and one hundred and forty-three embroidery stitches. I can also make tumb-print jam cookies.”

“Tumb-print jam cookies?” The frog asked, snapping at a nearby fly.

“The castle chef taught me, before Father made him stop,” Patton said.

The frog chewed quietly before swallowing “well I suppose there’s no other way. You’ll have to run away.”

“Run away?” Patton said “don’t like that idea, too many things could go wrong.”

“You don’t like the idea of marrying Prince August either,” the frog pointed out.

“Maybe there’s some other way out of getting married.”

The frog snorted “such as?” Patton didn’t answer “ thought so. Look, do you want my advice or not?”

“Yes please.” After all, Patton didn’t have to follow it.

“Go to the main road outside of the city and follow it away from the mountains,” the frog said. “After awhile you’ll come to a small pavilion made of gold, surrounded by trees made of silver with emerald leaves. Walk straight past it without stopping, and don’t say anything if someone calls out to you from the pavilion. Keep going until you reach a hovel. Go up to the door and knock three times, then snap your fingers and go inside. You’ll find some people there who can help you. If you are polite about asking, and if they’re in the right mood.”

The frog then turned around and jumped into the pool. “Thank you very much!” Patton called after him, thinking that the frog’s advice was very strange. He then rose and went back inside.

------

Patton spent the rest of the day being fitted and fussed over by his maids until he was ready to scream. By the end of the formal banquet, where he was forced to sit next to Prince August and listen to his countless tales of his battle, Patton was more than ready to follow the frog’s advice.

Late that night when most of the castle was asleep Patton packed up five clean handkerchiefs and his best crown. He then dug up his notes from his magic lessons and cast a spell of invisibility. It seemed to have worked, but he was still very careful when sneaking out of the palace. After all, it had been a while since he’d practiced.

By the time the sun had risen Patton was well outside the city and visible again, and walking down the main road that led away from the mountains. It was very hot and dry and he was starting to wish that he had brought a bottle of water instead of the handchiefs.

Around noon he saw a small grove of trees, it looked like a nice place to sit and rest for a few minutes. Patton hurried forward when he noticed that the trees were made of the finest silver and the leaves were shining emeralds. In the center stood a charming pavilion made of gold.

Patton slowed down and looked at the cool, green shade underneath the trees longingly. When a woman’s voice called out; “My dear, you look so tired and thirsty! Come and sit with me, and share my lunch.”

The voice was so kind and coaxing that Patton took two steps forward towards the end of the path before he caught himself. Oh no, he thought. I’m not getting caught this easily! He turned without saying a word and hurried on down the road.

After walking for another hour or so he came to a tiny, wretched-looking hovel made of cracked and gray weathered boards. The door hung slanted on a broken hinge as though it was about to fall off. In fact, the whole building looked like it was about to collapse. Patton stopped and stared at it for a minute, but he had gone this far and it would be silly to stop now. So he brushed the dust off his pants and put on his crown (as to make a good impression).

Patton walked up to the door and knocked three times then snapped his fingers, just like the frog had told him. Carefully he pushed open the door and went inside.

Chapter Text

Inside, the hovel was cool and damp. Patton found it to be a pleasant relief after the hot, dusty road, but he wondered why no sunlight was coming through the cracks in the wood. He stood still inside the door, waiting for his eyes to adjust when someone said “is this that prince we’ve been waiting for?”

“Why don’t you ask him?” A deep, smooth voice said.

“I’m Prince Patton of Linderwal,” Patton answered politely “I was told you could help me.”

“Help him?” The first voice said with a snort. “I think we should just eat him already.”

Patton began to feel frightened, and not know who the voices belonged to only made him more scared. He wondered if he could slip out of the hovel before they decided whether or not they should eat him. He felt behind him for the door but startled in surprise when his fingers touched damp stone instead of dry wood.

A third voice then said, “not so fast Remus. Let’s hear his story first.”

So Patton took a deep breath and told the voices all about the sewing lessons, and the magic lessons, and the latin, and the knitting, and everything else that wasn’t considered proper behavior for a prince. He explained that he had run away from Sathem-By-The-Mountains to keep from marrying Prince August.

“And what do you want us to do about it?” One of the voices asked curiously.

“I… don’t know.” He amited. “Of course that I would rather not be eaten.” He rubbed the back of his neck “um… Can I have some light please? I can’t see anything in this dark.”

“Of course,” the voice said. A moment later a small ball of light appeared in the air above Patton’s head. He very quickly stepped back and bumped into the wall.

The voices belonged to dragons.

------

There were five of them, all of them lay on or sprawled around or curled around the various rocks and columns that filled the huge cave. There were three male dragons, each of them had two short, stubby, and sharp looking horns on either side of their heads. The female dragon had three horns, one on either side of her head and one in the middle. The last dragon must be too young to have made up their mind about which sex they wanted to be, for they didn’t have any horns at all.

Patton felt very frightened. The smallest dragon was easily three times as tall as he was, and they all gave an overwhelming impression with shining scales and sharp silver teeth. They were much scarier in person than in the pictures of his history books back home. He swallowed very hard, wondering if he really would rather be eaten by a dragon than marry August.

“Well?” The dark blue scaled dragon in front of him said. “What are you asking us to do?”

“I-” he started to say but cut himself off as an idea came to his head. “Dragons are fond of princesses, aren’t they?”

“Very,” The dragon said.

“Well, I’ve heard of dragons who have captive princesses to cook for them and… and so on.” Patton said, who had little idea of what captive princesses did all day.

The dragon in front of him nodded. One of the others, a light green colored dragon, shifted restlessly “come on, let’s just eat him already. It’ll save time.”

Before any of the other dragons could say anything there was a loud, booming noise, and a sixth dragon slid into the cave.

Chapter Text

The dragon’s scales were more gray than green from old age and the other dragons made room for him respectfully. “Logan,” The newcomer said loudly. “Achoo! Sorry I’m late, but something terrible happened along the way here, achoo!”

“What happened?” Asked the blue scaled dragon that Patton had been talking too.

“Ran into a wizard. Achoo! Had to eat him; no other choice. Achoo, achoo. Now look at me!” Every time the gray-green dragon sneezed, he admitted a small ball of fire that scorched the wall of the cave.

“Capricorn please calm down, you are only going to make it worse.” Logan said.

“Achoo! Calm down? When I am having an allergy attack? Achoo, oh bother, achoo!” said the gray-green dragon “does anyone have a handkerchief? Achoo!”

“I have one,” Patton said, holding out one of the ones he had brought. He was beginning to feel less frightened, for the gray-green dragon reminded him of his great-uncle, who was old and who he was rather fond of.

“What’s that?” Said Capricorn “achoo, oh hurry up and pass it here.”

Logan took the handkerchief from Patton in two careful claws and passed it to the older dragon. The dragon wiped his streaming eyes and blew his nose. “That’s better, I think. Achoo! Oh drat.”

The ball of fire that had accompanied the dragon’s sneeze burned the handkerchief into a black crisp. Patton quickly dug out another and handed it to Logan. Feeling grateful that he had brought extras.

Capricorn went through two more handkerchiefs before the sneezing stopped. “Much better,” he said. “Now then, who is this that lent me the handkerchiefs? Somebody’ new princess, eh?”

“We were discussing it when you came in,” Logan said before turning back to him “now, as you were saying. About cooking and so on.”

“Couldn’t I do that for one of you for a little while?” Patton asked.

“It’s possible” Logan mussed “but why would you want to do that?”

“Because then I wouldn’t have to go home and marry August,” Patton said. “And being a Dragon’s Prince is respectable enough that my parents wouldn’t complain! And it would be much more interesting than fencing and etiquette lessons.”

Several of the dragons made snorting or choking noises, Patton jumped then realized that they were laughing.

“There is only one problem with that.” Said a yellow scaled dragon “you aren’t a princess.”

Logan snorted “you are not one to talk Janus,” he said “after all. You have a prince.”

The yellow dragon, Janus, looked annoyed and rolled his eyes. “But really, someone volunteering? Out of the question.”

“Logan is right,” the female dragon said “you already have a princess. But what about the rest of us?”

“Yes,” one of the other dragons said “don’t be so stuffy Janus. Besides, what else can we do with him?”

“Eat him,” suggested the light green dragon.

“No proper princess, or prince for that matter, would come looking for dragons.” Janus declared.

“Well, I’m not a proper prince then” Patton snapped “I make tumb-print jam cookies, I volunteer for dragons, and I conjugate latin verbs! Or I would if anyone would be me.”

“Hear, Hear” said the gray-green dragon.

“You see,” Janus said. “Who wants an improper prince?”

“I would.”

“You can be serious, Logan” Janus said “why?”

“I like thumb-print cookies,” Logan said, still watching Patton.”And I like the look of him. Besides, the Latin scrolls in my library need re-cataloguing. And if I can’t find someone who knows a little of the language I will have to do it myself. Which, I am too busy to do.”

Janus snorted. “Latin and thumb-print cookies! And for that you are going to take on a curly haired, snippy little-”

“I will thank you to be being polite when you are discussing my prince,” Logan said smugly.

“Nice young lad” Capricorn said approvingly, waving Patton’s second to last handkerchief. “I think he’ll be good for you, Logan.”

“Now that this has been settled I’m going to go find a snack,” said the light green dragon before slithering out of the cave.

Janus looked around, but the other dragons seemed to be agreeing with Capricorn. “Oh very well,” Janus said “it is your choice, after all, Logan.”

“It certainly is. Now, You Highness, if you will come this way, I will get you settled in.”

Chapter Text

Patton followed Logan across the cave and down a tunnel, he was relieved to see that the ball of light followed him. He had the feeling that if he tried to follow Logan in the dark he would step on the dragon’s tale, which would not be a good beginning. Logan led Patton through a series of long tunnels before finally stopping in another cave.

“Here we are.” The dragon said. “You can use the small cave over on the right. I believe my last princess left most of the furnishings behind when she ran off with a knight.”

“Thank you,” Patton said “what are my duties and when do I start them?”

“You start right away,” Logan said “I’ll want dinner at seven. In the meantime you can begin sorting through the treasure.” He nodded towards a dark opening on the left. “I am quite sure that most of it needs repairing. There is at least one suit of armor with a leg missing, and some of the cheaper magic swords are getting quite rusty.” He explained “the rest of it needs to be rearranged sensibly. I would do it myself but I am quite busy.”

“What about the library you mentioned?” Patton asked.

“Let’s see how you do with the treasure room first,” Logan said, “the rest of your job I will explain as we go along. You don’t object to learning a little magic, do you?”

“Not at all!”

“Excellent, that will make things much easier. Go and wash up and I’ll let you into the treasure room so you can get started.”

Patton nodded and went into the room Logan had told him to use. As he washed his hands and face he felt happier than he had been in a long while. He was not going to have to marry August, and sorting a Dragon’s treasure sounded much more interesting than dancing or fencing. And his parents wouldn’t worry about him once they found out where he was.

He smiled at his reflection in the mirror, for the first time in his life he was glad he was a prince.

-----

Patton settled into his new life fairly quickly. He got along well with Logan and learned his way around the tunnels with only a couple of mishaps. Actually, the tunnels were more like an intricate web of tunnels, connecting canvas of different shapes and sizes that belonged to different dragons. It reminded Patton of an underground city with tunnels instead of streets. He had no idea how far the tunnels went and suspected that some of them had been magiked, so they seemed to go farther than they really did.

Logan’s section of the caves was fairly large. Along with the kitchen, which was a large cave near the entrance so there wouldn’t be a problem with smoke from the fire. Logan was a sleeping cavern, three large treasure rooms, two larger storage rooms (for less valuable items), a huge library, and a cave for eating and visiting with other dragons (which Patton noticed that Logan didn’t do very often), and the set of smaller caves assigned to Patton. All of the caves smelled of dragon, a mustly, smokey, cinnamon smell. His first job was to air them out.

Patton’s rooms made up of three small connecting caves, just off of Logan’s living area. They were furnished very comfortably in a mix of styles and fashions. They looked just like some of the guest rooms in most of the other castles Patton had visited, only without windows. When asked, Logan explained that dwarves had made them in return for a favor, and the dragon’s tone prevented Patton from asking what the favor had been.

By the end of his first week Patton had felt comfortable enough with his position to give Logan a list of things he needed in the kitchen. The last princess had apparently made do with a large frying pan with three dents and a wobbly handle, a wooden mixing bowl with a chip in it, a tarnished teakettle, and a mix of mismatched plates, cups, and silverware. Most of them cracked or bent.

Logan seemed pleased by the request and by the next day Patton had everything he asked for, except for a few of the more exotic pans and dishes. This made cooking considerably easier and gave Patton more time to short through treasure.

The treasure was just as disorganized as Logan had told him it was, and organizing it was a major task. It was sometimes hard to tell if a ring was enchanted or not, and Patton knew better than to put it on a see. It might be the sort of magic ring that could turn you invisible, but it could also be the type of ring that might turn you into a frog. Patton did the best he could and kept a pile in the counter for things he wasn’t quite sure about.

Logan had explained to him that, normally, he was quite organized and tidy but lately he has been so busy that he often forgot to put things away. So Patton kept finding things in all shorts of places, some of them quite unlikely. There was a small helmet under his bed, a silver bracelet set with opals on a table in the library, and two daggers and a jeweled ink pot behind the kitchen stove. Patton collected all of the items he found and put them back in the storeroom where they belonged.

The first of the knights arrived at the end of the second week.

------

Patton was busy cleaning swords, Logan had been right about their condition. Not only had most of them rusdy, but nearly all of them needed sharpening, He was polishing the last few flakes of rust from a large broadsword when he heard someone calling out from the mouth of the cave. Feeling annoyed by the interruption he rose and, carrying the sword, went to go see who it was.

As he came nearer to the entrance, he was able to make out the words that the mysterious person was yelling.

“Dragon! Come out and fight! Fight for the Prince Patton of Linderwall!”

“Seriously?” Patton muttered and quickly made his way to the exit of the cave “hey!” He called as he stepped into the sunlight. But he had to duck as a spear flew through the air and over his head. “Stop that!” He said “I’m Prince Patton.”

“You are?” asked a doubtful voice “are you sure?”

Patton raised his head a squinted in the early morning light, the sun was in the back of the person so he was unable to see who they were.

“Yes, I’m sure.” He said “I’m pretty sure I would know my own identity. Can you please step out of the light please so I can see who you are?”

The figure moved sideways and Patton saw that it was a knight in shiny new armor, except for the legs where it was dusty from walking. Patton briefly wondered why he hadn’t ridden, but decided not to ask. The knight’s visor was raised showing a few wisps of sandy blond hair and a handsome face. He was studying him with a look of worried puzzlement.

“Is there anything I can do for you?” Patton asked after several minutes had gone by without the knight saying anything.

“Well, um, if you are Prince Patton then I’ve come to rescue you from the dragon.”

Patton leaned the sword up against the wall of the cave, so it wouldn’t get in his way. “I don’t want to be rescued, but thank you all the same.”

“Not be rescued?” The knight looked more confused “but royals always-”

“No they don’t” Patton sighed, recognizing the beginning of a familiar argument. “And even if I wanted to be rescued, you're doing it all wrong.”

“What?” Said the knight, taken aback.

“Shouthing, ‘come out and fight,’ the way you did.” Patton explained “No self-respecting dragon is going to answer a challenge like that. It sounds like a child’s dare! Dragons are very conscious of their dignity, at least the ones I’ve met so far.”

“Oh,” the knight sounded crestfallen. “What should I have said instead?”

“‘Stand forth and do battle’ is the usual challenge.” Patton said, remembering his lessons. Being a prince ment that he was forced to learn these things in case he ever went off to rescue his own princess. “The wording doesn’t have to be that exact so long as it’s formal. You’re new at this, aren’t you?”

“Rescuing you was going to be my first big quest,” the knight said sadly. “Are you sure that you don’t want to be rescued?”

“I’m sure.” Patton said confidently. “I like living with Logan.”

“You do?” The knight said, surprised.

“Yes,” Patton smiled “This place suits me really well. I like polishing swords and cooking thumbprint cookies. If you don’t believe me ask anyone in Linderwall. They’ve been complaining about my un-prince-like behavior for years!”

“I did hear something about sewing lessons…” The knight said doubtfully “but knights are supposed to be above rumors and gossip. So we don’t pay attention to that kind of thing.”

“The sewing lessons were only the beginning,” Patton assured him “so can you see why I’m perfectly happy being a dragon’s prince?”

“Um, yes.” Said the knight, not looking convinced “speaking of dragons. Where’s yours”?

“Logan is not my dragon,” Patton said sternly “I’m his prince. You’ll never have any luck dealing with dragons if you can’t get these things straight. Anyways, Logan’s gone to the Enchanted Forest on the other side of the mountains to borrow a crepe pan from a witch he knows.”

“He’s what?”

“He’s gone to borrow crepe pan.” Patton repeated “maybe you should get your helmet checked.” He suggested “they aren’t supposed to block your hearing but sometimes-”

“Oh I heard you” the knight said. “But what does a dragon want with a crepe pan?”

“He doesn’t want it. I do. I found a recipe in the library that I want to try. But the kitchen is only equipped to handle very basic cooking right now.” Patton explained. “Logan said he’s going to fix that soon but until then I have to borrow things like crepe pans and souffle dishes.”

“You really do like it here.” The knight said wonderingly. Patton was relieved that he finally understood what he was trying to tell him. But he had to wonder.

“How did you know I was here?”

“Things get around.” The knight said in a vague mannar. “In fact I had to hurry to make sure I was the first. Half of the kingdom and a prince’s hand in marriage is a reward heavy enough to tempt a lot of people who wouldn’t often bother with this sort of thing.”

“Father’s offered half of the kingdom to whoever rescues me?” He cried “that’s more than all of my sister’s dowries put together!”

“It’s the usual thing for cases like this” the knight said.

Patton sighed “well, at least now you can go back and tell them I don’t want to be rescued. The last thing anyone wants is to waste their time.”

“But, I can’t do that!” The knight said “It’s-”

“Just not done” He finished “I understand.” Patton gave a polite goodbye as the knight left.

Once the knight was gone Patton went back into the cave and polished the broadsword until it was mirror-bight. Which relieved his feelings a little bit.

Chapter Text

There were two knights the next day and four more the day after that, on the fourth day there was only one but he was very stubborn and refused to believe that Patton actually liked his new life. It had taken the prince two hours to get him to leave.

By the time the knight had left he was extremely frustrated and considered letting Logan handle the knights for now. But he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Patton knew that the moment the knights saw Logan they would try and attack and the last thing he wanted was for anyone to get hurt.

Prince August showed up at the end of the third week. He was limping a bit, as if his metal boots pinched his feet. When he got to the cave he stopped and stuck what must have been an impressive pose before calling out the usual challenge. But Patton was not in the mood to be impressed and he could tell that August’s armor was made up of pieces from other suits of armour.

“Don’t you think you’re a little slow?” He asked. “There’s been eight knights here already.”

“Eight?” The prince frowned “I thought by now there would have been at least twelve by now. Maybe I should come back later.”

Patton stared at him in surprise “why?”

“Well, it would look better.” August explained, sounding completely. “There’s not much glory in defeating a dragon that hasn’t already beaten then or fifteen people at least. There’s a knight from the kingdom of Mistwood who won’t even consider going after a dragon whose score is less than forty-five. I don’t know if I want to risk waiting that long, but eight… it just doesn't seem like enough.”

“So you’re going to leave and wait until Logan has defeated fifteen knight before you come back to rescue me?” Patton thought that August was acting very smug about all this but was too kind to say anything.

“Not if you’d rather be rescued now, of course.” August quickly said. “Though you ought to consider the advantages, and I don’t think that won’t be very long…..” His voice trailed off and he looked at her hopefully.

“I am afraid that it will be a long time,” Patton said. “You see, Logan hasn’t fought any knight at all.”

“B-b-but I thought you said that there had been eight,” August spluttered.

“I said eight had been by” Patton corrected “I never said that they fought anyone. I sent them away.”

“You sent them away?” August repeated, horrified “but that’s… that’s….”

“Not done, I know.” Patton smiled sweetly “but I have done it. And I intend to keep doing it, so you might as well go home and tell your friends so they will not waste their time. And I’m sure that they would feel pretty foolish if they came all this way only to turn around and go back home without doing anything.”

“They sure would!” August cried “what do you mean by playing these kinds of tricks? Don’t you want to be rescued?”

“No,” Patton said, losing his patience “I don’t. And I am tired of having my work constantly being interrupted. So please go away, and don’t come back.”

“Surely you can’t possibly mean that?” August said. “Besides, everyone accepts that I’ll rescue you.”

“I’m sorry but that’s your problem.” Patton said “now, I’m going to go cook dinner. Good bye.” And before he could say anything Patton slipped back into the cave, hoping that the prince wouldn’t follow.

Chapter Text

August left but he returned the next day, and the day after that. It got to the point where Patton couldn’t leave without running into him. He might have been flattered if it wasn’t so obvious that August was only worried about looking foolish if he went home without fighting a dragon. After his fifth visit Patton was very stern with him and when the other prince didn’t return by midday of the next day, he began to hope that he had finally taken his advice and left for good.
Patton was in the kitchen taking pits out of cherries when he heard someone knocking at the mouth of the cave.

“Go away.” He shouted, annoyed. “I’ve told you a million times I don’t want to be rescued. And I am not going to argue with you anymore.”

“I didn’t come to argue,” an unfamiliar voice said from outside. “I came to meet the person who keeps borrowing my crepe pan.”

“Oh no.” Patton said, he wiped his hand on his apron and quickly headed outside to greet his visitor.

“I’m sorry,” he said, moving around a gray rock at the cave mouth. “I’ve been having a problem with knights lately, and I thought-” Patton stopped short when he got a good look at his caller for the first time.

The man standing before was around a foot taller than Patton and had brown hair and eyes. He wore a red shirt that laced up in the front and a pair of black hiking boots and carried a broom in one hand. But what really caught Patton’s eye was his robes. His robes were open in the front and had deep pockets, and no matter how hard Patton tried he could not pin-point what color it was for it seemed to simmer and change into every color of the rainbow.

“I understand,” the man smiled. “You must be Logan’s new princess.”

“Yes, I’m Patton. And you are….?”

“Thomas.” The man said. “Logan and I have been friends for a long time. Ever since I moved to the Enchanted Forest, I thought I would come over and meet his new prince.”

“You’re the person Logan’s been borrowing dished from” Patton realized. “But then you must be-”

“A witch,” Thomas finished with a smile “I don’t know why you’re so surprised. It’s not the most unusual job around here.” He said with a light laugh.

“It’s just that I never met one before,” Patton said. Not mentioning that back in Linderwall witches were portrayed as dangerous, maybe even evil, old women. But, of course, Linderwall was wrong about dragons too.

“Would you like to come in and have some tea?” He offered.

“Sure!” Thomas said “I would love too.”

------

While Patton made their tea Thomas wandered around the kitchen, looking over everything. Almost as if he was unable to sit still without something to occupy his time.

“Well,” Thomas said as Patton filled the teapot “you are the first royal that Logan has had who has had the sense to keep up with the kitchen.”

Patton decided that he liked Thomas’ bright yet down-to-earth manner. He soon found himself telling him all about the sewing, cooking, and magic lessons to the seemingly never ending stream of knights. The story lasted through two cups of tea and finished with August’s stubborn insistence on rescuing him.

“I can understand your frustration.” Thomas sympathized “if this keeps up you won’t be able to get anything done.”

‘I know,” Patton sighed. “I keep telling them that I don’t want to be rescued, but they’re all so honorable that none of them will go back because they think that it’ll be gossiping.”

“More likely that they don’t want to look foolish.” Thomas said “knights have always had a large sense of self-pride.”

“Maybe, but even if they did tell people, I’m not sure anyone would believe it. I have a hard enough time convincing them when they show up in person.”

“Well it makes sense that your visitors are honorable” Thomas said thoughtfully “Linderwall is a very prosperous kingdom. Sooner or later the chance of getting half of it is going to tempt someone to rescue you, whether you like it or not.”

“I hadn't thought of that,” Patton said with a frown “what can I do about it?”

“I’m not sure,” Thomas said. “Your situation is pretty strange after all. I’ve never heard of a royal, a prince no less, volunteering for a dragon before. Which surprises me, now that I think about it. Being a dragon’s Princess pretty much guarantees a good marriage, So you think that princesses, and princes, from the smaller kingdoms would be clamoring for the job.”

“They’re probably worried about getting eaten,” Patton said. “Do you think it would help if I sent my parents a letter?”

“Probably not,” Thomas admitted “but it wouldn’t hurt to try. I’ll check my spell books when I get home. I might get an idea and I’ve been needing a reason to re-organize them anyways. I suggest you look through Logan’s library. He’s been collecting all sorts of books and scrolls from all over the world for centuries; you might be able to find something there. Meanwhile, we’ll put up a sign.”

“A sign?” Patton stared at the witch for a moment before he began to smile. “‘Road washed out, use alternate route.’ Is that the sort of sign you were thinking of?”

“Yup!” Thomas smiled “it won’t stop anyone who’s really determined, but it will slow them down. That should give us time to think of something better.”

The two set to work at once and in a short time they had made a large, official looking sign. Thomas offered to set it up on his way back to the Enchanted Forest, but Patton thought that it would be too awkward for him to carry on his broom. So once the witch had left Patton tucked the sign under his arm and started down the path.

Chapter Text

Patton had not had the chance to do any real exploring before, though he had looked out at the mountains every day and wondered. He was happy to have an excuse to see more of the outside of his new home.

It was a beautiful, warm, and sunny day and at first the path was level and easy. And Patton began to wonder if anyone would believe his sign, once he got it up, when the path swung left around a boulder and narrowed to a tiny ledge that sloped steeply upward.

Patton stopped, now he knew why none of the knights had ridden up to the cave. The ledge was barely wide enough for a person on foot to edge along sideways; the best rider in the world couldn’t have gotten a horse down it. Patton rolled his sign up into a tight cylinder and tucked it under his belt, so he would have his hands free while he climbed, then he stepped out onto the ledge.

He had almost reached the top of the slope, where the path widened again, when a portion of the ledge disappeared just ahead of him. Patton pulled his foot back and tried to figure out what happened, he hadn't seen or heard the crumble and fall away; there was simply a two-foot gap in the ledge that hadn’t been there before. Patton pulled his foot back and tried to figure out what had happened. He hadn’t seen or heard the rock crumble and fall away, there was simply a two-foot gap in the ledge that appeared out of nowhere.

Patton studied the gap for a moment, trying to think of a way to get around it. But he couldn’t think of anything, the prince felt a tinge of annoyance at the thought of all his wasted efforts. But he cheered up very quickly when he realized that this would solve the problem of the visiting knights. If he couldn’t get around or over the gap then an armored knight wouldn’t be able to get by either. Patton smiled and turned around to creep back to safety.

There was another two-foot gap in the ledge on his other side, Patton frowned again. Something very strange was happening here and he didn’t like it.

“You look as if you are in need of assistance,” a deep voice said from above him. “May I be of help?”

Patton turned his head and saw a man standing about four feet away, on the path at the top of the ledge. He was tall and had sharp features, his eyes were a hard, bright black. And he had a gray beard that reached nearly to his waist but he did not look old. He wore loose robes made of blue and gray silk. In one hand he held a staff as tall as he was made with a dark, polished wood.

“Maybe,” Patton answered. He was pretty sure that the man was a wizard, though he had never met one. He definitely didn’t want to agree to anything until he was sure what he was agreeing to. The court philosopher had always claimed that it was tricky. “Can I know who I am speaking to?”

“I am the wizard Zowyn,” the man said. "And you must be Logan’s new princess. I hope you're not trying to run away. It's—"

“Not done I know.” Patton said with a sigh. “And yes, I am Patton.”

“I was going to say it’s not wise to run from your dragon” the wizard said “I believe it is done all the time.”

"I'm sorry," Patton said, "and I'm not running away. How did you know who I was?"

"It was unlikely that I would find any other charming young man walking so casually through the Pass of Silver Ice," Zowyn answered.

He smiled. "As you see, it is easy to find oneself in difficulties if one is not properly... prepared."

Patton decided that he did not like him, the man reminded him of his father’s courtiers. A sneaky little man who only paid compliments when he was after something and couldn’t resist giving advice, even if it wasn’t wanted.

“The ledge was all here when I started," he said. An idea crossed his mind. "You don’t happen to know what happened to the two missing bits? Do you?"

A flash of startled annoyance crossed the wizard's face; then his expression smoothed out. "The Pass of Silver Ice is a strange place. Odd things frequently occur."

Patton frowned, he was sure now that Zowyn had made the bits disappear so that he could pretend to resuce him. Probably to get a favor from him, though Patton didn’t know what. Actually, it surprised him that he had destroyed the ledge. He didn't think the dragons would be too happy when they found out…

Unless he hadn't really destroyed it.

Patton could hear Zowyn trying to get his attention but he ignored him. Without looking down, he slid her right foot along the ledge. The rock felt firm and solid. Slowly he transferred her weight and brought her left foot up beside her right.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting off this ledge.” Patton carefully slid his feet over the invisible bits of the path and was stoon standing safely on the other side. Once he was nice and safe he looked up at the wizard with a smile, best to be polite after all. “Thank you for your offer to help, but as you can see, it wasn’t needed.”

Zowyn looked greatly annoyed and Patton gave the man his best royal smile “now, I must be going. But please stop by and visit some time.”

"I will," Zowyn said as if he meant it. "And a very good day to you, Prince Patton." And then he was gone, there wasn’t even a puff of smoke or a shimmer in the air. Patton shivered. It took a very powerful wizard indeed to vanish so quietly. And he still didn't know what he wanted.

Patton started back down the path when a dark shadow loomed above him, looking up he saw the scales of a light-green dragon. The dragon landed on the path in front of him, and Patton recognized him as the dragon who had wanted to eat him the day she arrived.

"I saw the whole thing," the dragon said with giddy glee. "Running away, and talking to a wizard! Just wait until Logan hears. He'll be sorry he didn't just let us eat you."

"I offer you greetings and good fortune on your travels," Patton said, figuring that it was best to be polite. "I'm not running away.”

"Then what are you doing? Logan doesn't have any business that would bring you down this side of the pass."

"I came out to put up a sign to keep the knights away.”

“There aren’t any knights,” the dragon said. “I've been on patrol in this part of the mountains for the past week, and I haven't seen or smelled even a hint of a knight."

“Well, nine have been by this week alone.” Patton said.

“I would have noticed if any of them were hanging around," the dragon said.

“Charge!” A voice yelled.

“August!” Patton yelled, shocked. "I told you to go away!"

The green dragon twisted his long neck and glanced back over his shoulder, he seemed to bunch together like a cat crouching. Then he sprang straight up into the air, and Patton was blinded by the cloud of dust raised by the flapping of his wings. He had flatten himself back against the rocks by the side of the path, and a moment later he heard someone blundering by and stuck out a foot.

But Patton had forgotten that Prince August would be iron boots with the rest of his armor. Something he remembered when he felt pain shoot up his leg as the man fell over.

“Ow!” He yelped.

“Patton is that you?”

“Yes it’s me” Patton rubbed his ankle “open your eyes, the dust settled.”

“Are you okay?” August asked.

Patton was about to tell him that he was okay but a better idea came to him. "I think you've sprained my ankle!”

"Oh, no," August said, sounding worried

"I probably won't be able to walk for at least a month.” Patton said "and there's certainly no way I can climb down this mountain."

"But if you can't walk—" August said, and paused. Then he squared his shoulders and went on, "—then I suppose I'll have to carry you." He didn't sound as if he liked the idea.

"I don't think that would work very well," Patton said quickly. "How will you fight when all the dragons come back if you're carrying me? No, you'll have to leave me here and go back alone."

"You can't stay here!" Therandil protested, though the talk of the dragons coming back made him nervous.

"I have to," Patton said, trying to sound noble and long-suffering. "The dragons will make sure I get safely back to Logan’s cave, and a month isn't too long a wait, after all.”

"I don't understand.”

"There's no point in you or anyone else coming up here to rescue me for at least a month with my ankle hurt.”

"Oh, I see," August tilted his head back and scanned the empty sky. "You're quite sure you'll be all right? Then I'll just be going before those dragons return." He turned and started down the path as quickly as he could in full armor.