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The entire bus ride from Manchester, Dani kicks herself for chickening out. She wasn’t brave enough. The opportunity was there, and then it had passed, and now she has to fucking live with it.
Not only that, but she has to keep Phoebe from noticing for the next two days. She can’t let Phoebe know how close she got to leaning forward and kissing her when they were alone on the Manchester Eye.
Because she almost did.
She was so close and giggly, she was there. Right there, in front of Dani. Close enough to see every freckle. To see one eyelash barely hanging on to another. When Dani gave up trying to build the courage to kiss Phoebe, instead she lifted a hand and said, “Got a lash.”
It was a good enough cover, she thought. For why she couldn’t help but stare.
“Make a wish,” she said, trying to keep her voice steady. Trying not to give anything away.
Phoebe gave a little puff of breath onto the lash. It disappeared once it left Dani’s finger, blending in with the floor of the cable car.
It should be good enough just to be sitting here with AmazingPhoebe, Dani figured. This isn’t the time to get greedy, to ask for more than she deserves. It should be enough to see Phoebe point to different areas of the city and share stories no one else on the internet gets to hear.
And she’s afraid. Afraid of kissing Phoebe and being pushed away. Afraid of making things weird or awkward when things have never been weird or awkward between them before. Afraid of letting Phoebe know just how much she likes her, and all the many many things that could go wrong as a result.
So she doesn’t kiss her. So she lets the cable car crawl slowly back to the ground and says nothing.
About halfway through the bus ride, Dani thinks she might cry. God, it would be so fucking stupid if she started to cry. And she would have no good reason to give Phoebe, which might lead to something horrible like her telling Phoebe the truth. She fakes a yawn and hopes that explains any eye puffiness.
When Phoebe shuts the door of her parents’ home behind them, Dani’s amazed at how quiet everything is. The house is well and truly silent. It isn’t like when they were on the wheel at all, which had been the closest to quiet Dani experienced since leaving her house that morning, but which had been filled with wind and white noise. The Lesters’ house has a ticking clock in the lounge and nothing else to fill Dani’s ears except the thump of her own anxious heartbeat.
“I’ve wanted to get you alone all day,” Phoebe smiles. Dani wants to fall into that smile. She wants to fall into the crinkles by Phoebe’s eyes and into the edges of her crooked teeth and into the warmth of her steady breaths.
Dani’s breaths aren’t steady. She’s damn near close to passing out.
“That so?” she asks. She tries to laugh. It’s nothing more than a half-huffed breath, hardly any different from the rest.
Phoebe’s looking somewhere. If Dani didn’t know any better, she would guess Phoebe is looking at her lips.
Phoebe steps a little closer. “Can I…”
Dani doesn’t believe that Phoebe is really kissing her until she feels her tongue. Then she gets a hand in Phoebe’s long straightened hair and pulls her closer. She doesn’t want to lose this chance twice in one day.
When Phoebe pulls back, she looks at the ticking clock and smiles. “Less than an hour after I made my wish. Pretty good turnaround.”
Dani kisses her again, now that she knows she can.
