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"Are you uncomfortable, Senpai?"
"No... not really."
"Oh, alright then... okay."
An awkward silence trails off the last word uttered out of Kanji's mouth. No reply comes from Souji and he doesn't notice any sign of discomfort either. He also doesn't hear Souji protesting this. If anything, it's the opposite since he did shuffle a bit before so that he can enjoy what Kanji is giving him. There is a smile on his face, showing his contentment with the lack of proximity between him and Kanji.
But Kanji knows.
He knows there's something that Souji doesn't tell him. He might be a big and oblivious lump of muscles, but he's not that much of a fool to not notice Souji's surprise when he asked for this. He also knows better than anyone that Souji doesn't really see him as an initiative person in their relationship. Oftentimes, he just follows whatever the grey-haired teen says and enjoys him taking the lead and he realizes it.
However, he really wants it this time, and he knows he can’t get it unless he mans up and asks Souji himself, so he did, and now, here they are.
Despite all that, something feels kind of different in the air, and Kanji knows it comes from his beloved Senpai.
"S-senpai...," Kanji starts, trying his best to stay calm, "Uh... I wanna ask somethin'."
"What is it, Kanji-kun?" Souji replies in his usual calm and collected voice without diverting his attention from fully reveling in what Kanji's offering to him, but that makes Kanji's heart goes even crazier than before. The blond knows there must be a tinge of pink on his face right now because, damn, his face is heating up.
"It's, uh... it's just that I...," his words trail off in the middle as his mind scrambles to find the best way to continue his sentence, to no avail, "I wonder if–“
"–I'm uncomfortable with this?"
There are many things about Souji that drives Kanji into a state of intoxication. His calm demeanor, the smile that he only shares with Kanji, how his eyes light up whenever they catch his presence in the area. This leader of his truly does have a knack for pulling his heart out of his chest without fail, but one of the many notable things about him is how he's able to read Kanji like an open book.
"W-well, yeah..."
"You're really concerned about this, aren't you?"
Embarrassment starts to climb up Kanji's face, turning the pink into a slight red. He doesn't have the talent to beat around the bush, "I, uh, just don't wanna make you feel forced doing this."
"I'm not feeling forced, though."
"A-ah, okay, then..."
Another awkward silence fills in the room they're in while their activity continues. He could tell that Souji really does enjoy this so much, and so does he. They both like doing this, so why the hesitation? Why is he feeling like he should ask his Senpai what he's hiding? Isn't that irrelevant? Or is it, in fact, important? So many questions and doubts are filling Kanji's mind that he starts to consider backing down from this.
"Do you have something on your mind, Kanji-kun?"
The sudden question startled the blond, throwing him into a stuttering mess whose tone is uncontrollable, "Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-what?!"
A chuckle escapes from Souji's lips before stopping to beat around the bush to shoot directly into the heart of the matter, "Are you doubting my enjoyment in taking part in this... activity by...," that's it. Souji knows Kanji so well, too well, in fact, that he can and will finish his hesitating steps for him, and this is one of those moments that he does just that. One of the moments where Souji confronts the truth he's been avoiding. One of the moments Kanji has to realize how big of a nervous mess he is around Souji. He asked Souji to do this, but now he's doubting himself. He braces himself like an astronaut that's about to return to Earth, ready for his Senpai to finish the sentence.
"...acting as the small spoon?"
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...Yeah," answers Kanji, defeated.
A loud laughter from Souji comes as a response to Kanji answer, making the teen's shoulders bounce up and down in delight. There is no more pink, no more slight red on Kanji's face, all that is left is simply red, on his face and on the buds of his ears. Embarrassment totally gets him now.
"Kanji-kun...," another fit of giggles interrupts Souji's sentence, "You're really cute."
He tightens the hug that he's been giving to his Senpai because of his shyness and, deep down, how happy he is being complimented like that, "I-I'm not!"
"You really are!" says Souji, turning himself to face Kanji and cups his face in his hands, "From the way you asked to do this spoon hug to how you're doubting me. It's all so cute I've been holding myself down from teasing you even further!"
"Wh-what?" Kanji's eyes widen. Oh now, now he's really red like a boiled crab, "S-so you've just been teasing me all this time?!"
"Partly," answers Souji while his laughter starts to die down, "I'm also still surprised, actually, and I've been trying to process it all."
"W-what do you mean?!" asks Kanji, although it would also be accurate to say that he's just shouting without any tone but aggression at this point.
"I'm happy, Kanji-kun," Souji pushes his head so that he's just inches away from Kanji's flustered face, "I was surprised when you asked to cuddle on the bed and do a spoon hug, even more so when you told me you wanted me to be the small spoon, but I'm also very happy that it took me a while to process all of this."
"Y-you're happy with this?" Kanji asks once again, feeling like he's being shot towards the sky like a missile because of how satisfied and proud he is to hear that from Souji. That, and how ridiculously close the distance between him and his Senpai's face is.
"Of course!" answers Souji happily, hugging Kanji back from the front while burying his face into the younger teen's chest, "And if you want, I'd like to do this again sometime."
His beloved Senpai, who's also his boyfriend, might be hearing his heart going haywire, but he couldn't control it, and he doesn't care now. Hearing that last sentence has shot off his happiness into the stars and he's in cloud nine now with Souji snuggling into him all cutesy like this. He feels like he's going to burst and he can't control the wide dumb smile that is now plastered on his face either. Deep down, his doubt is turning into gratitude. He's glad he manned up and asked for this. He's glad he's done all of this. If he was a dog, his tail would wag uncontrollably. He’s so glad and happy.
The blond hugs his lover back tight, unleashing his love for him, "I'll be waiting for it, Senpai."