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brave enough

Summary:

they don't know about us
(yet, 'cause you made me brave enough to tell them)

Notes:

hello my dudes, i'm not a native english speaker soooooo i'm really sorry for the mistakes
i also have a playlist for this story if you're interested!

Chapter 1: 1/3

Chapter Text

They were trying to set him up with a girl for weeks. With any girl at this point, because they really didn't want him to spend the yule ball alone. He would probably find it almost adorable that they cared this much, if he wasn't in such a bad, hopeless mood all the time. He was so far gone in the closet, he started considering himself a permanent Narnia resident. He was seriously thinking about changing his legal house address in school papers.

While he was stirring honey into his tea with resignation, Pansy and Blaise were having the time of their lives, not knowing how pointless their efforts are. They were looking at everyone eating late dinner in the Great Hall and looking for familiar faces. Draco got really far in not correcting them, every time they assumed he was either straight or single. At this point, it would be rude to admit that he has been pulling their legs for months.

'Alright, Draco, what about Amanda? She's like, super cute, and I'm sure you'd fit well together.'

'Don't be ridiculous. He doesn't even like her.'

How would they react if he told them the truth? 'But Draco,' they would say, ' you don't even like him.'

And to be honest? He would be in no position to blame them, if they'd think he's just playing around and making fun of them. It's always been clear as day that he found Potter extremely irritating. Still, somehow, he adored him despite that. Damned, annoying Potter. The bloody golden boy, walking perfection that never wipes his stupid glasses and has a hero complex. He's always walking around with sweaters full of holes like it's some fashion statement and jumps right into every possible fight. Draco loved him wholeheartedly, with every overdramatic inch of his body.

'You don't even like him. We spent the whole weekend trying to come up with ideas to push him down the Astronomical Tower.'

In his defense, he'd of course never let Potter die in that accident.

'Draco? Come on, if not Amanda, then maybe her friend?'

'And if not her friend, maybe her brother?'

Blaise gave Pansy a very disapproving look and raised his eyebrow. She just shrugged, slurping her third black coffee in a row.

'What? We're desperate and he's hot. You never know...'

Draco felt his heart skipping a beat. Did Pansy just assume he could enjoy being with a dude? What a wonderful coincidence. It was like a sudden, small chance that he could use to tell them. To finally tell them and stop being a coward. After a whole day of listening about the girls he should date, he felt so powerless and angry. Not angry at them of course, but at himself for not being able to tell them he's already seeing someone. Someone really special.

'And... does he even like you? You've never been close, you're practically rivals, Draco. How can you possibly date him?'

Baby steps.

'I'm gay,' he muttered into his teacup. His friends went silent and he started to freak out again. He really doubted they would reject him for that alone, but he still panicked. It was very stressful for him, opening up about literally anything. 'Sorry.' He stood up quickly and stormed out of the Great Hall, before they got the chance to say something. He had to admit, it did turn out a bit awkward.

He walked out of the building to the grounds, breathed in cold evening air and ran his fingers trough his hair. Maybe it's for the best? They will get used to the idea of him preferring dicks and he'll talk to them once they won't feel like asking questions.

He probably should've stayed and talked to them. Potter would've done that. But this friendship was just... it wasn't like that. They rarely had these heart to heart, honest and deep conversations. He would never change them for someone else, though. It was always suitable for all three of them. Everyone had their lives and privacy.

Bloody, bloody Potter and his stupid ideas.

He believed so badly, that they should tell their friends and stop hiding with the relationship that formed between them. He wanted to be able to take his hand carelessly on school corridors and bump into him during meals whenever he felt like it. How was Draco supposed to say no to that? He was so determined to tell Pansy and Blaise about his boyfriend, he completely forgot how utterly shitty he is, when it comes to having a conversation. That's probably why he felt so comfortable with people who didn't want to (and didn't know how) talk too much about emotions and private matters.

'Draco,' he heard, and felt someone grabbing gently his sleeve. He turned around to see his friends. Wonderful, they followed him. This one time, when he'd rather not be the center of attention. 'Hold on.'

He stared at them in silence, none of them said anything. He could absolutely almost hear the wind blowing and the crickets chirping like in a cartoon. He wouldn't be surprised at all, if some tumbleweed started to roll around out of nowhere.

'So,' started Blaise, just to end this awkward silence. 'Dudes, huh?'

Draco snorted, but nodded his head a little. They started walking towards the Quidditch pitch. They didn't know how to get this conversation going, but they were trying, and Draco knew that. After all, they followed him out of the castle, instead of just letting him go.

'How long have you known?' asked Pansy. She had her hands clasped behind her back, and she was turning her face towards him, so that she could look him in the eyes.

'I... I don't know, since like, always? I just didn't think it's a big deal, and there was no reason to tell you.' He shrugged.

'Is this why you didn't want to tell us which girl you were dating on our fifth year?' Draco paused mid-step, a bit embarrassed, because he completely forgot about that. 'Was she even real?'

'Well, no,' he admitted, and his friends laughed under their breaths.

'We must've really annoyed you, trying to find you a date and all.' Pansy wrinkled her nose. 'Is that why you're telling us now?'

'Yeah.' Well, not exactly, it was just a warm-up.

'I'm happy you told us, and I'm proud of you.' Pansy touched his elbow and gave him one of her rare, nice and honest smiles. 'None of us are good with that sort of thing, Draco. But we're both here for you, right?'

Blaise nodded.

The whole situation turned way too sweet for him to handle.

'Well, it's good to finally say it out loud.' He stretched his arms. He was glad he told them. And even more of the fact that they didn't make any fuss about it. It seemed like the worst was over and nothing bad happened, right?

'Now we have to find you a handsome guy to the Yule Ball!'

Wrong. The funniest part was just beginning. Draco coughed.

'Actually, that wasn't the only thing that I wanted to tell you.'

'Oh no,' Blaise gave him a fake-frightened look. 'You have a crush on me. Draco, I'm honored, but I think I prefer girls.'

'Disgusting, Zabini.' Pansy frowned. 'Draco deserves someone far better than you.'

Blaise put hands on his chest, as if he was badly hurt.

'No,' Draco grunted. He took a deep breath, and reminded himself he knew too many of their dark secrets for them to abandon him. They have to be his friends, or else he will fuck up their lives (not really). 'It's just that I'm kind of… dating someone?'

Pansy's jaw dropped to the floor.

'Tell me you're kidding.' Blaise had a blank stare. 'You made us waste all that time to find you a Yule Ball date, when you actually had one already?!'

'Oh, my.' He allowed himself to smile a little bit, still not sure if everything would end up alright. 'Sorry about that.'

'Tell us his name!' demanded Pansy, visibly happy. 'You have to, you started the conversation yourself! I can't believe you actually liked someone! I have to meet him.'

That was it, that was the moment he was supposed to tell them. What if he fell down and pretended to have sprained his ankle? Or started running towards the lake and just jumped?

'It's, well...' alright, he wasn't a pussy after all. And it was not just for himself. 'Okay, I know how this sounds. But it's Potter. I'm dating Potter.'

He could literally see gears turning inside their heads, when they were processing that information. The circus has arrived, it's time for the greatest show.

'What... Potter as in, Harry Potter?' mumbled Pansy. 'You're kidding. Draco, don't be ridiculous!'

'I'm not, I promise,' he sighed. 'You said it yourself, we're not good with this whole... talking thing. I just want to get it over with, and I'm tired of hiding.'

'It just... it doesn't make any sense.' Blaise's forehead was wrinkled. 'I mean, it's cool and all, but you don't even like him. He's driving you crazy.'

'And you're always plotting, trying to come up with ideas to piss him off or annoy his friends. We spent the whole weekend...'

'...trying to figure out how to throw him out of that fucking tower, I know.' He sighed heavily and shoved his hands deep into his pockets. He looked up at the sky. It was winter, it started to dusk already. 'Look, I don't know what else to tell you.'

'How long?'

He shrugged, still looking up. How should conversations like this go?

'We've been together since summer. I spent a lot of time with him during the break and it just... happened. Like that.'

Like that. It was the best, the absolute nicest summer of his life. He had to cross all the borders he made for himself to write Harry a letter. They met a couple of times, his parents invited him over and let him stay for as long as he wanted. He shamelessly took that opportunity and stayed there for the rest of the summer break.

'But how long... for how long have you liked him? Since when do you have feelings for Potter?'

How the hell was he supposed to know? He fell in love deep and fast and such a long time ago, he didn't catch the exact moment and didn't even realize until it was too late. He found it very annoying, so obviously he did the only reasonable thing there was to do. He started being the biggest bitch possible, trying to ruin Potter's life. He hoped that maybe, just maybe, he would see through it, but he was way too dumb for it.

Eventually he figured out that it's not gonna get better until he confronts him. He'd rather risk it, than never find out whether he ever had a chance. And when it turned out that he did, in fact, have it, he was way happier that during any mean prank or heated argument with Potter and his friends.

'I feel silly to say it,' he admitted. Blaise and Pansy were looking at him, carefully and uncertain, and it was hard for him to figure out what they were thinking. 'But I really like him. I know it has to be weird to you, but...'

'Don't get us wrong.' interrupted him Blaise. 'It's just... difficult to imagine.'

'Yeah, I know.' they already reached the Quidditch pitch, the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws were practicing for the match. 'But to be honest, does it surprise you that my way of flirting is annoying someone to death and looking for attention?

His friends laughed. So it wasn't bad.

They walked right by the side of the Quidditch pitch for a shortcut back to the castle. Pansy and Blaise were silent, so Draco assumed they just needed some time to think about it. He was actually really proud of himself, and he was already coming up with ideas to spice up the story later, when he will be telling Potter how it went. He also wondered how his stupid friends will react to the news. Certainly not as good as Pansy and Blaise. His friends were way better than Potter's. He stayed a bit behind, lost in thoughts. 

'Draco!' he heard suddenly. He lifted his head, but he didn't manage to see what was going on. Something hit him in the face.

Chapter 2: 2/3

Chapter Text

Harry considered himself somewhat of a genius when it comes to life. He has always been, in his opinion, very bright and observant. With time however, he realized that it was all bullshit.

Last year he decided to tell Ron and Hermione he's bisexual. He considered it his personal discovery and he wanted to share such revealing news with them. He was a bit nervous and sure it would knock them off their feet. 'What do you mean, Harry? We never noticed a thing!'. As it turned out, however, he was so visibly not straight, they have been suspecting it since around third grade (which means, a lot quicker than him). He also found out that there was no heterosexual explanation of his crush on Cedric Diggory or the fact that the guy invited him to the prefects' bathroom (he didn't go, sadly).

He wasn't observant. Draco was still making fun of him and how incredibly blind he was to his obvious signs of affection. How was he supposed to know that constant insults and teasing meant he liked him? He was no psychic, and he had terrible grades from divination. And other subjects as well, while we're at it. Grading system was, after all, just another social construct.

Sirius always tells him to not worry about things that are imposed on him by rich, high-profiled people in expensive robes. It was slightly clashing with his decision to impress Draco's father one day. The guy was disgustingly rich, he had connections in the Ministry and outdated views on the world around him. He was exactly the kind of person his godfather liked to run over with his motorcycle and eat for breakfast.

Sirius was, without a doubt, the most awesome person Harry has ever met. He was a great influence on him since he was a little kid, and he was the one who taught him how to be cool. Despite Harry's absolute obliviousness, he knew how to quickly adapt to the situation and pretend that he knew exactly what he was doing from the beginning. Besides, in secret from his parents and Remus, Sirius was teaching him how to drive a motorcycle.

He tried to show off a bit when Draco visited him during summer. Unfortunately, they had to illegally enchant the machine, because driving with supervision is one thing, and stealing Sirius' motorcycle for a romantic ride was something a bit more complicated. It was, obviously, another reason for Draco to tease him. Harry didn't mind, because he also got to hear his most sincere laugh and see his hair, for once just as messy as his own, blown by the wind and without a trace of hair gel. 

Harry knew how his friends perceived Draco. He knew that on the outside he seemed reserved, often snarky, he was constantly calculating and extremely overdramatic. In private, however, as he experienced for himself, Draco could be really lovely and vulnerable. He loved teasing Harry, but at the same time he deeply cared for him, and he knew that. All the insults and mean words didn't affect him anymore. For him, Draco was just a kitten, trying so hard to be seen as angry and tough. At first he was surprised, because it was nothing like the Draco he thought he knew from previous years. He needed a moment to get closer to him, to get to know him better and experience what he was like, once the walls he built to protect himself fell down.

Draco told him earlier that he's planning on telling his friends about them. Harry was looking around since breakfast to find him, he wanted to cheer him up or check how it went. He could barely restrain from sending him hand signals all across the Great Hall. He was also gathering up the courage and words for his own honest conversation with Ron and Hermione. After all, he was the one who insisted on that.

He was walking down the courtyard, doing finger guns at his friends that were passing by, but aiming for Ron and Hermione, as they were sitting by the fountain. Magic lanterns were shedding dim light all over the place.

'Hey, loves,' he started, putting his hands in the pockets of his too-big jeans. One of the trouser's rolled up legs unrolled itself, but he didn't feel like bending down to fix it. Chill wind blew into his face, revealing his forehead with a cool scar that he got as a baby, after hitting his head on a cupboard. 'This is an emergency meeting, I have news.'

'Tell me they finally hired Lupin again,' sighed Ron, raising his head from above the notes he was studying. 'I'd really appreciate being eaten alive before this exam.'

'Haven't heard anything about that.' Harry sat down next to them on a small wall around the fountain. 'Dumbledore keeps promising him he'll talk to other parents, but honestly, he's not doing anything.'

Hermione frowned. 'Typical.' Just as he kept promising her he'll do something about the exploitation of house elves. 'So what news do you have?'

'Shocking ones.' Was he nervous? A little bit, but he was sure of their friendship. The fact that he was dating a guy they both hated couldn't be that bad.

'Harry, your news are never shocking.'

Motherfucking heaven, you'll be surprised.

'It's just that...' he paused, because there was some kind of fuss by the entrance. People were crowding and standing on their toes to see better. 'What's going on?'

He got up and stood on the fountain wall to see something. He felt his knees go weak, and he definitely turned pale, when he saw Draco being dragged by his friends towards the Hospital Wing. It seemed like he was unconscious, his face was covered in blood.

'So? What's happening there?'

'Uhhh...' he was a bit paralyzed. Ron stood up as well and climbed the fountain next to him to see it for himself.

'Ew,' he winced at the sight of blood. He sat down, and pulled Harry's sleeve to make him do the same. 'Come on, it's just Malfoy with a wrecked nose.'

Shit, shit, shit.

He looked down at his friends, and then at Draco's. They were, quite ineffective, trying to get him off the floor and inside the castle.

He heard Hermione. 'Harry? Why are you so worried?'

He jumped off the fountain and turned to them. They were probably surprised by the look on his face.

'I'll talk to you later. I have to check if he's okay.'

He started pushing through the crowd, not paying attention to whether they said something or not. He got to Parkinson and Zabini. They were holding Draco between them by his arms, but he kept sliding back down.

'What happened to him?!' he crouched down to touch his face. 'Sweet fuck, is he breathing?!'

'Jesus, Potter, get up.' Parkinson pulled him by his arm. She looked a bit worried, but mostly irritated (and she was throwing knives at him with her stare alone). 'He's gonna be okay. We were walking by the pitch and some Ravenclaw kid accidentally sent a buldger right into his face. Come on, help us get him to the hospital wing.' 

The three of them were easily able to transport Draco to Madam Pomfrey. Harry wanted to go inside and stay by his side until he wakes up to find out who did this to him. Madam Pomfrey, however, didn't like that idea and sent them out the door as soon as they delivered her patient.

'It's not a circus, you can come tomorrow morning when I'll be discharging him.' She slammed the door shut right in front of his face.

Harry stared at the door, very offended and also, of course, worried for Draco. How could she not let him in? After he brought her the limited edition of Halloween cookies? He heard a heavy, irritated sigh.

'For fuck's sake, Potter.' Parkinson was looking at him with pity. 'It's just a broken nose. He's gonna be fine, really. Come on, Zabini.'

They walked away and when Harry turned around, he saw Ron and Hermione peeking at him from around the corner. He went to them, despite the fact that they were giving him weird stares.

'And? Is he alright?' asked Hermione, squeezing books in her arms. Her eyes were full of concern, so he must've looked pitifully.

'I think so,' he shrugged, but bit his lip. He was a bit worried.

'Well, that's... good? I'm a bit lost here.' Ron looked puzzled. 'What's going on?'

Harry took a deep breath.

'I'm, well... I'm with Draco. We've been dating for a while now, a couple months, and it's really cool so I thought it'd be good to let you know, or something.' He didn't look them in the eyes, he didn't like to do that. But he had to take his eyes off his shoes when after a while they were still silent. Ron looked even more confused and lost than usually, but Hermione seemed as if everything just made sense to her.

'Of course you're with Draco.' She smiled fondly to herself. 'It's obvious now.'

'I know it's... wait, what? Really?'

She laughed. 'You've been busy most of the summer, haven't had a single fight with Malfoy this year, he even almost stopped being mean to us. Besides, one time you spent a whole day wearing a Slytherin tie and you didn't even notice that something's wrong. I caught you staring at Malfoy more times than I can possibly count, and today you were waving at him during breakfast.'

Ron was staring at her in consternation, and Harry was questioning his entire existence. He couldn't be that obvious, right? 

'What?' mumbled Ron. 'You mean Harry and... You couldn't have noticed. I didn't!'

Her smile was big and warm. 'And I'm not surprised. You're both equally dumb.'

Harry was playing with his sleeves and looking at his hands.

'So... we're good? Because like, at this moment I really need to talk shit about that Ravenclaw who hit my man with a buldger.'

Hermione shrugged. 'All good, but I'm sure Malfoy is completely fine. He could leave right away, you know all it takes is a spell for broken bones. You'll see him in the morning and see for yourself, he's not gonna have a single bloodstain on that face of his.'

Harry sulked, because he knew she was right. But so what? He'd rather very dramatically sit by Draco's side, stroke his hair and threaten his oppressor. That would be so much better than waiting until morning.

Chapter 3: 3/3

Chapter Text

Draco was absolutely conscious and awake, he has been for a long while. He just didn't feel like dealing with the bunch of people that was currently standing around his bed, so he was pretending to be asleep. Even with his eyes closed he was sure that Potter, his friends, Pansy and Blaise were killing each other with distrustful and mean glances since they entered the Hospital Wing after breakfast.

'Why'd you bring your morons with you? Draco doesn't even like them.' Pansy snorted, still on the doorstep. 'It's not a train station, there's already too many of us here.'

'Then go away.' Harry walked inside like he owned the place. That was the exact moment Draco decided to close his eyes and wait for Madame Pomfrey.

He probably should have returned to his dormitory for the night, but well, this wasn't that bad either.

Even though there was a war of heavy sighs, cold stares, mean comments and crossed arms going on right above his head. And even though he was just laying there, in the middle of that pitiful play, because one, of course, he liked attention, but also two - Potter was finally in the same room as his friends and they haven't killed each other yet. Even better, they all had almost peaceful intentions. He saw it as an absolute win. Apart from the fact that his head started to hurt from laying down for too long and listening to their banter.

'I'm sorry,' he glanced at them from below with his eyes still half-closed. 'How long are you going to stand around like this?'

'Draco!' they all sounded surprised. Did they really think he was still unconscious? Or asleep, with the awful racket they made? He didn't even have to say hello to them, as Madame Pomfrey approached him quickly, wanting to discharge him from her hospital to get rid of all the unwanted noise.

'Finally, how good to see you. Mrs Pomfrey, these creeps won't leave me alone.' 

'Hey.' Harry put on a warning tone, while Madame Pomfrey was scribbling something fast in her notebook. 'We talked about this. You promised to try and be nice.'

'Yes, hi, but I'm in hospital! Can't I take it out on you a little bit?' Draco raised his hands defensively, but he didn't say anything else, trying to behave. He put away his blanket, thanked Madame Pomfrey for fixing his gorgeous face and walked out first to the corridor. 'Shit,' he blurted out. The hospital room was well heated, but once he walked out of it a wave of cold air almost knocked him off his feet. It was a freezing saturday morning, but apparently not freezing enough for teachers to put a heating spell on the castle. And he was still in his yesterday clothes, with no coat or jumper whatsoever.

'Here.' He felt a delicate tap on his shoulder, so he turned around to face Harry. Hesitantly, Draco looked at a very large, creased sweatshirt in his hands and raised his eyebrows.

'You expect me to put this on? Potter, have you ever seen me wearing something so...' He sighed heavily, when Harry pouted as if he was really hurt and upset. He was just pretending, obviously, but he was almost convincing. 'Give me that.' Draco took this incredibly hideous, knitted jumper with a big H on it and put it on, messing up his hair. One sleeve was tucked up, because otherwise it would be too long for him. Harry reached for the other sleeve, to tuck it up as well.

'It's really weird for me to imagine you two together,' Draco heard the redhead speaking out of the blue, after he saw Harry running his fingers through Draco's hair to fix it a little. 

'Oh, I'm sorry,' Draco snorted, pushing Harry's hand away from his head. 'Potter, should we start making out?'

'Did you eat breakfast?' Harry asked instead, crossing his arms over his chest, because he didn't know what else to do with them. He was surrounded by more people that usually and he wasn't sure who he should be looking at. When Draco shook his head, he moved forward towards the Great Hall without looking back. His pale boy quickly caught up with him and poked him lightly with his elbow to check if everything was okay. Harry smiled at him. It was a bit awkward, as none of them knew how to act in front of the other's friends.

They walked to the place at the long Slytherin table where Draco, Pansy and Blaise usually had their meals. The three of them sat down, while the other three looked at them over the table and didn't know what to do.

'Actually, I could still eat something,' admitted Ron, again, out of the blue. He looked around the long table at the Slytherins that were eating breakfast.

'Well then, why stand here? Go to your table,' said Draco, pouring himself some tea.

'No, I think I'll stay.' The redhead sat down right in front of him, despite the visibly malcontent look on Draco's face. He started to fill up his plate as if he was at home. Hermione sat at the edge of the bench next to him, and Harry squeezed in on Draco's right side. He reached for the chocolate croissants to put them on Draco's plate. Little bastard knew exactly what his boyfriend liked to eat for breakfast. While he was at it, he seemed as if he really wanted to say something.

'Okay, I have a question,' he said finally, just as Draco was taking his first bite. He nodded to let him know he was listening. 'Who was it? Who hit you?'

Draco swallowed his croissant and looked at him warily. He knew Potter too well. 'Why?'

'Just so I can, you know... talk to them about it' he shrugged, but when Draco was still giving him an expectant look, he raised his slightly clenched fists and pretended to punch the air. 'Alright, and maybe beat them up a lil.'

'Jesus.' Draco put down his croissant with irritation. 'I don't know them, but leave them alone.'

'Why? I'm sure they did it on purpose!'

'You're not punching anybody, give it up.' Draco cut off, pinching his nose bridge. He always, fucking always had to be the hero. And he loved him endlessly, but he had to cool down his desire to break the school law and throw himself into fights. 'It was clearly an accident, it just happens.'

'Okay, but what if I just break their nose a little?'

'Potter!'

He noticed their friends were looking at them strangely, as if they suddenly started to behave like lunatics. Well, maybe they weren't completely wrong.

Harry flinched, when something white appeared in the corner of his view. He raised his head very quickly and started pulling at Draco's shoulder, extremely happy with something. His boyfriend gave him an irritated look, because what now? He's trying to eat. But he couldn't, he wasn't physically able to not feel at least a little bit of Harry's happiness, when he gave him that giant smile.

Harry was pointing at the magic ceiling that was imitating the weather outside 'Look! It's snow, the first snow this winter!' 

Well, snow wasn't anything out of the ordinary. It was cold and white and fluffy. Draco was about to go back to his croissants, but Harry kept staring at him, very damn pleased about something.

'It's our first snow since we're together.'

Oh my god, what a cliché.

He could almost hear Blaise and Pansy making fun of him for that later.

'Potter, you're so pathetic.' He pinched his nose again and turned his head the other way to hide a smile he couldn't resist. 'You're embarrassing me.'

'Stop holding my hand then,' he suggested, still with the big smile that Draco would kill for. He lifted their hands, entwined together, even though Draco didn't remember taking his hand. Holding it was just too natural.

'No, no way.'