Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It all starts suspiciously well. Like this: Anakin abandons Bail Organa in favour of running towards Padmé for a joyful (though a little careless) reunion.

When they pull back again, Anakin can see and feel that something is up. He can't tell if he's going to like it or not, but before he can even ask, Padmé speaks up.

"Something wonderful has happened", Padmé whispers.

Anakin shoves the exhaustion and the never leaving darkness to the back of his mind and pulls on his greatest grin. "Aside from the fact that I recently defeated Count Dooku and saved our Chancellor?"

Padmé rolls her eyes, but her smile grows. "Yes. I'm pregnant."

Oh.

Anakin tries to think of an appropriate response. First of all, a child. Their child. That sounds really cool in theory, but their reality is a bit… unstable. They're at war, Padmé is a politician the Republic sorely needs and Anakin is one of the, if not the best general the GAR has. Obviously, their kid is going to be amazing and the best thing that will ever happen to their universe, but - it's going to be complicated. Extremely complicated, considering Anakin is, technically, not even allowed to have kids.

At the same time, a child! He's going to be a father! Anakin loves children, most of the time, especially if they're not stuck-up Jedi teenagers. The younglings are mostly nice, because they are so... open. Excited to see the world.

"Right", Anakin says, finally. "Okay, this is - well, first of all, this is really great. This is probably the happiest moment of my entire life, or, or at least up there somewhere. Second thing, uh, how? I thought we were pretty damn careful."

"I know", Padmé sighs. "But here we are. It's just - what are we going to do?"

"First? Please tell me you've got your own, private, super trustworthy doctor, because the kid needs to be checked", Anakin begins. "I only had a mother, so I don't know how it actually works, having a kid with me."

"You - oh, you weren't kidding with the 'no father'-thing , were you?"

"Nope. That's why it's probably for the best to check things. Force knows what kind of alien genes I have. Also, fuck, we're in such deep shit."

"Agreed", Padmé replies with a growing grin that matches Anakin's. "But that's our natural state, isn't it?"

"Holy shit did I miss you", Anakin tells her and throws himself at Padmé's couch.

Padmé chuckles. "You're gonna have to watch your damn language if we're raising a child."

Anakin snorts into a pillow at the thought of them raising a child. He feels like passing out. His hands are still trembling, and it suddenly hits him how close to dying he was, once again. Duelling against Dooku? That was fine, because he knew he could and would win. The shitshow in the elevator? Padmé is so going to laugh at that, but ultimately fine. Facing Grievous? Anakin has to physically cringe at that. He hadn't been at his best, after killing Dooku.

And then, last but not at all the least, crashing the ship in Coruscant - now that had been a painful experience. Anakin can still feel the burning of the ship, the pain of the ship ripping in two and the moment they smashed onto the tarmac(?). He definitely doesn't feel like he's up to raising a child. Damn, it was close that he would've never even known he was going to have one! If anything else had gone wrong with that ship...

"Could you cook?" Padmé calls from the kitchen.

"What, me? It's late and I'm a war hero who just defeated an enemy leader - the enemy leader!"

"So you want me to cook, huh?" Padmé asks, coming into view.

"Oh, hell no, that's a fire hazard if there's ever -"

"Finish that sentence and you get to sleep on that couch, too."

Anakin smothers his hysterical post-near-death experience giggles and sits up. "Honestly, what do you even eat when I'm not here?"

"Oh, y'know", says Padmé vaguely. From the corner of Anakin's eye, he sees her throwing fast-food boxes into the trash.

"Fine, fine, I'll spend my last remnants of energy in the kitchen while you - do whatever -"

He stands up and Padmé walks to him. She cups his face and smiles, but there's concern glinting in her eyes.

"Annie? You're not that exhausted, are you? 'Cause if you are, we can order in, it's no trouble -"

"No, no, it's fine. I'm back home again, and after months of ration bars I'm gonna have a proper dinner dammit, just watch and see."

Anakin goes to the kitchen and starts preparing their meal all while bantering back and forth with Padmé as she sets the table. This is his comfort zone - just talking and joking and relaxing . The food is a plus, too, although flashes of Obi-Wan unconscious and Dooku's severed head appear behind closed eyelids every now and then. The way too quickly approaching tarmac, the rushing in his ears.

"So, wanna hear how your heroic husband saved the Republic all over again?"

Alright , Anakin thinks, hands shaking, my wife is going to die.  

It's not a nice thing to think about, and the images and voices are still echoing in his mind. The sound of a child crying has always been something Anakin hates, but this is just taking shit to a whole new level, because this time it's his kid that's screaming while her mum dies. Their shadowy bedroom fades every other second, the dream coming back - as a memory, now - and Anakin is already feeling his head start to ache.

Not good, not good.

Anakin leaves the bed, only barely staying upright - when was the last time he properly slept, anyway? He's accustomed to nightmares. He has seen and experienced things that are never going to leave him, but Anakin can feel the difference between a prophetic dream and a flashback. Besides, he doesn't remember any time in the past when Padmé was dying while giving birth to their child, so.

"Shit", he says out loud just to hear something real, and his voice breaks. 

Anakin is too tired to have a panic attack or to cry, but damn has he had enough of this shit.

Padmé is going to die, then. Unlike with his mother, there is no clear enemy - no big villain to stab through, no asshat to shove off a roof. 

It's infuriating, because Anakin doesn't know what to do in situations like these. He's a warrior. He's a fighter, he knows how to fight, how to kill, how to win. Anakin is relatively clever - he knows how to make a great plan, how to improvise, how to adapt and how to use different strategies in a way that works. Give him the tools, the variables, and he will solve the problem in no time.

This is different. He has something that he knows he has to prevent, but there's no way to do it. There is no way to save Padmé. The best he can do is call a doctor. Not even the Force can save Padmé if something goes wrong with giving birth.

Anakin buries his face into his hands and tries to sort his thoughts. A doctor. They need one, right? Or did Padmé take care of that? She must've, she's clever. She would've said something if anything is wrong. Well, they better find out what is going to go wrong, because if there isn't anything explicitly wrong, Anakin can't fix it.

"Annie?"

Ah, here he goes.

"A nightmare", Anakin confesses right away, because lying to Padmé never brings on anything good. "Like with my mother."

"Okay", Padmé replies and comes to stand next to him.

She has been woken up by Anakin a nightmares before, but Anakin reckons she's noticed something is different, as usually Anakin just either lies awake staring at the ceiling or goes to get water. She's good like that.

"About whom? Obi-Wan? Ahsoka? Me?"

"You", Anakin answers, not looking at her. "We got a deadline as well. It happens in childbirth."

"It might happen, you pessimistic jerk", Padmé mumbles and leans against him, exhausted. "Anything else? What about the kid? Is he gonna be okay?"

"She", Anakin corrects absentmindedly. "I don't know. She made a lot of noise, so at least she was alive at the time."

"Yeah, babies do that, screaming", Padmé chuckles wearily.

"You were screaming too. That wasn't very pleasant", Anakin manages, but his voice is cracking and the dinner he made is threatening to come up.

Padmé wraps her arms around Anakin, her sweet scent surrounding him. He closes his eyes and tries to forget the dream, tries to go back in time to the dizzy happiness of being reunited with Padmé. 

His life really never gives him a break. Anakin feels his breath stutter, and his eyes burn. He thinks back to everything he's been through, so far, and everything he could have in the future. He could have real family - not a broken, dysfunctional one full of emotionally stunted and otherwise insensitive individuals that would take great offence at being called a family. He'd already let himself dream about it, but apparently it's going to get ripped away from him, too, like all good things eventually are.

"We will be fine", Padmé whispers. "I promise. I... wanted to have the child on Naboo, but honestly, with this, I can also just go ahead and give birth in some really expensive place on Coruscant, surrounded by the best doctors. We'll handle this. We'll be okay."

Anakin really, really wants to believe that.

Anakin rushes into the room as everyone else is leaving.

"Aaaand what'd I miss?"

Obi-Wan doesn't turn to look at him. "Outer Rim sieges report. Saleucami has fallen, and Master Vos has moved his -"

Anakin shifts his weight for comfort and almost falls flat on his face. Obi-Wan catches his arm and frowns, looking him up and down.

"Are you drunk?"

"I wish."

A long-suffering sigh. "Hangover?"

"I am not", Anakin snaps. "Come on, I'm not that bad. I'm just… tired."

"Tired? Anakin, you're supposed to be resting - what have you been up to that has kept you awake?"

Anakin closes his eyes. He feels oddly out of breath, like he's been running around Tatooine for hours. It is moderately worrying, as he usually catches his breath pretty quickly. Hescrambles for an excuse, but comes up with nothing.

"Nothing. Really. I… it's…"

"Anakin?" Obi-Wan prompts gently, putting a warm hand on his shoulder.

Physical contact, especially if it's a sign of affection, is Obi-Wan's ultimate mean of getting an honest answer out of Anakin. And it works , dammit, every time.

"I can't sleep", Anakin admits.

"You can't sleep", Obi-Wan repeats, and now he's definitely concerned.

Padmé has suggested that Anakin should tell Obi-Wan about them, and after the nightmare, she had said that perhaps Obi-Wan could help them. It's the right spirit, but in practice there is very little anyone could do. Telling his former mentor has its complications - Anakin doubts Obi-Wan will go and tell on him, but there's a chance the trust between them will be shaken and he could be angry at Anakin, and Anakin definitely doesn't want to risk that. Obi-Wan might be able to help him with his other problems.

"Yeah, it's… a problem. I've talked about it to a friend, and we're trying to figure something out. Downing a handful of sleeping pills every night sounds tempting, but I don't know if that's a good idea health wise."

Obi-Wan nods slowly. "No, probably not. Have you tried meditating?"

Anakin huffs. "I don't think meditation erases memories, does it?"

Obi-Wan gives him a rueful smile. "Perhaps not, then."

Before Obi-Wan manages to go ahead and suggest another method that Anakin a) doesn't want to try or b) has tried already, Anakin changes the topic.

"So what's wrong today then?"

"The Senate -"

Anakin snorts. Loudly.

"- is expected to to vote more executive powers to the Chancellor today."

Anakin's face stays blank. After all that has happened in this short period of time, he cannot take on politics as well. It's simply too much. Although, to be honest, Anakin couldn't take politics anyway. He's more of a cut to the chase type of guy. He's got some explanations of Padmé, but it's still far away from Anakin's area of expertice.

"Am I supposed to know what that means? Voting sounds great. Democracy, yay?"

To be entirely honest, Anakin does kind of get what goes unsaid, here. The only thing is that Anakin isn't entirely certain what those executive powers hold, so he can't really comment on whether it's a positive thing or not.

Obi-Wan stares back at him with the classic exasperated glare. Anakin is willing to bet there's a hint of fondness there, too.

"Anakin… just be careful of your friend Palpatine."

"Uh. What? I mean, why? Any particular reason?"

"He has requested your presence."

"Has he? When? What for? Casual hangout? Expensive dinner - oh Force, tell me it's not expensive dinner, that last time was so awkward I wanted to melt through the floor -"

Obi-Wan rolls his eyes. "I don't know, he didn't say."

That sounds odd to Anakin's ears. The Chancellor always informs the Jedi Council, even if it is just to invite Anakin over to watch him do politician stuff or to talk about things in general (or eat horrible seafood that gave Anakin vicious food poisoning). 

"That sounds unusual. Is that unusual?"

"It is. The Council's relations with the Chancellor are… stressed."

"We're all stressed", Anakin says and scoffs. "The war should be over soon enough, though, and then we can all go together to a spa or something, braid each other's hair, work on those relations."

Obi-Wan finally cracks a smile, and that feels like a reward to Anakin. It's rare that any of them smile or laugh at this time, and each time he manages to get a positive response it feels like a personal win. It is a personal win, to him.

It's clear how much the war has affected them all. Obi-Wan looks older than ever (which he is, technically), and he's scarred all over. Anakin also knows that Obi-Wan tends to modify his sleeping schedule just as radically as Anakin does, and that neither of them are properly rested, like, ever. Their trust has started to rebuild and while some scars remain unhealed, they are almost the same again - brothers. At least that's how Anakin feels. Force knows what Obi-Wan thinks.

"The Force grows dark, Anakin", Obi-Wan speaks quietly. "We are all affected by it. We must all be wary of what is to come."

Palpatine is not making Anakin's life any easier. Quite the opposite, actually, since he's talking politics as the opening to their extremely fruitful conversation. 

"Anakin, this afternoon the Senate is going to call on me to take direct control of the Jedi Council."

Anakin is no genius when it comes to these things, but he does understand this. To some extent. He probably could be paying more attention, but it's sometimes hard to concentrate on things with impending death of your wife looming in your thoughts.

"The Jedi - uh, we - will no longer report to the Senate?"

Palpatine turns his pale eyes to Anakin. They will report to me. Personally. The Senate…" he pauses. "The Senate is too unfocused to conduct a war. This will bring a quick end to things."

Anakin is not at all sure if it works that way, but -

"I… agree? I just don't think the Jedi will - I mean, that the Jedi Council will."

He's tired, but his gut tells him there's more to come, and when are his instincts ever wrong? Palpatine goes on about something and Anakin offers some vague commentary, but then the bomb drops.

"I hope you trust me, Anakin."

That is always the beginning of something untrustworthy, in Anakin's experience, but this is the Chancellor. It can't be that bad, can it?

"Yeah, I do."

"I need your help, son."

While Anakin understands that "son" is a term of endearment, he still feels squeamish around it. Only one person in this galaxy has ever had the right to call him that, and she's dead, but - but this is the Chancellor , and it's not like Anakin can tell him what to do. Anyway, help. What could Anakin possibly help the Chancellor with? 

"With what, sir?"

(If Palpatine calls him son, Anakin calls him sir. He isn't sure if Palpatine understands his subtle way of hinting that maybe don't call him… anything but Anakin. Probably not. It's sort of petty, but Anakin can't help it, or doesn't want to.)

"I fear the Jedi."

Oh shit. Fuck.

"The Council keeps pushing for more control. They're shrouded in secrecy and obsessed with maintaining their autonomy… ideals I find simply incomprehensible in a democracy."

Anakin searches furiously for an answer, because despite his dislike towards the Council, he feels like he should defend his lifestyle somehow.

"While I partially agree, sir, I do think the Jedi are still dedicated to protecting the Republic. We have sworn it, sir."

He cringes at excluding himself from the Jedi in every other sentence. He needs more sleep, dammit, not weird ass politics. The Jedi Council is paranoid, yes, that's not news.

"Nevertheless, their actions will speak more loudly than their words. I'm depending on you."

Anakin feels the familiar sense of dread. This conversation has the potential to turn into something infinitely more unpleasant, and it's nearing. He has to clear his throat before speaking up again.

"Depending on me… for what?"

"Anakin", Palpatine says solemnly. "I'm appointing you to be my personal representative on the Jedi Council."

And isn't that exactly what he needed into his life.

Anakin isn't entirely sure what he's done wrong, but it must be pretty damn bad to deserve this.

“You are on this Council, but we do not grant you the rank of Master.”

Anakin makes a show of choking on air, while his thoughts race. On this Council, on this Council, no rank of Master. No rank of Master? On this Council?

“Come again?” Anakin says intelligently.

Windu repeats the statement, his eyes glued on Anakin. Actually, each of the Councillors is staring at him intensively. It is, frankly, unnerving.

“Uh. Why?” he asks, because that’s the first question on his mind. 

And then he’s irritated, because he figures it out and it's just petty. To put him on the Council without giving him the rank of Master is simply a strategic move to show the Chancellor (and Anakin) that they’re still in control, and while yes , Anakin kind-of almost understands that, he cannot understand why the Council didn’t just say this to Palpatine instead of bitching to Anakin. It's the reason Anakin prefers physical fighting over politics - it's so much more direct. No subtle hints.

Anakin knows that there's exactly one requirement for becoming a Jedi Master - to successfully train a padawan to knighthood. Anakin is not delusional enought to think he can check that box, but it stings all the same considering Ahsoka's departure was, ultimately, the fault of this very Council.

He gets a lengthy lecture about not having experience and all kinds of unrelated shit (not even a mention of Ahsoka), which he decides to maturely interrupt.

“Yeah, alright, okay, whatever, it’s cool, in fact it’s fucking fine ”, he intercedes, tired of the useless conversing, wincing at the accidental swearing. 

He sits down on the comfortable seat with as much calmness and serenity as he can muster and pointedly tries not to glare at anyone. Anakin swallows a sigh and stares resolutely out of the window.

It's going to be a long evening.

Anakin refuses to put his fist through the wall. It is childish, it is stupid, it is unnecessary, and it will not help his discussion with Obi-Wan in any way. Still, it feels like a really tempting thing to do along with throwing his Council seat through the window. Anakin suppresses his fury.

“You have been given a great honor. To be on the Council at your age... It's never happened before -”

“Oh, yeah? Am I supposed to be honoured? I didn’t ask to be on the Council, they don't want me to be there and I don’t want it either, why the hell do you all seem to think that I want to be there, listening to you talk about shit you’re not gonna really be able to do anything about, especially if I don’t get a say in it at all? You think I'll like just sitting there, all silent and listening?”

“ Language ”, says Obi-Wan, and damn, Obi-Wan needs to work on his prioritising if that's the first thing he addresses.  “Look, I didn’t want to put you in this position -”

And that’s the cue that tells Anakin something is crooked here. He can sense it too, obviously, but this - this confirms it. Obi-Wan’s expression is troubled, and his entire demeanor uncharastically uncomfortable and almost awkward. That is most unusual, since normally Obi-Wan is simply irritated.

Obi-Wan takes Anakin’s silence as a sign to go on (which it is not , because Anakin can tell that whatever is coming will shatter even more of his... trust? Faith? What is even left?) and pushes on. 

“The Council wants you to report on all of the Chancellor's dealings. They want to know what he's up to.”

Anakin is, promptly, stunned into silence. He stares at Obi-Wan, and okay, he gets Obi-Wan’s twitchiness now. What a bomb to drop. Then he hides his face behind his hands and groans. Loudly.

“Anakin…”

“No, no, it’s fine”, Anakin interrupts, far too cheerfully. “I’m always up for committing treason. This is great. Exactly what I was planning to do on this fine evening. Especially against one of my best friends. No, this is gonna be a blast.”

Obi-Wan manages to look even more pained. “I’m on your side, Anakin, but -”

“But you’re not really as long as the Council wants to be involved, which should be okay, since it is kind of your job, right, but I can’t deny I’m thoroughly pissed. Are they trying to make me hate them? Because in moments like this, it really feels like they are.” His voice rises in volume and his tone shifts.

Obi-Wan sighs. Deeply. The exhaustion is clear in his entire demeanour, and Anakin feels bad for taking his anger out on Obi-Wan. 

"I truly am sorry, Anakin, but something is out of place. You can feel it, too, I know that. We need to find out what it is, and if there's any chance the Chancellor is related to it..."

Anakin nods, wordlessly, and lets himself collapse against the wall. His thoughts grow more and more incomprehensible, and he rubs his temples trying to ease his headache.

"Maybe I can. I just - I just can't see anything clearly."

"No one can. It isn't your fault - not everything is."

"I'd hope so", Anakin says, and his voice cracks oddly. 

Great.

"You still haven't been sleeping", Obi-Wan states in a quiet voice, looking at the view of Coruscant, expression blank.

Anakin huffs. "How'd you guess, I wonder?"

"They're not just bad dreams, are they?" Obi-Wan asks, and looks Anakin in the eye.

He can only see concern in Obi-Wan's eyes. No malicious intent. Their trust has certainly been tried on both sides, but aside from the you-know-what they haven't outright betrayed each other, and even t hat incident could be excused as it ultimately served the greater good. Yet, trusting Obi-Wan with this … it's on an entirely different level. Anakin doesn't know exactly what would happen, and as much as he wants to tell Obi-Wan, as much as he wants to just vent out everything, he can't. Besides, there is nothing, nothing at all that Obi-Wan could even do to help with… anything, really - he can't go against the Council.

Anakin kind of wants to cry. 

"No, they aren't", he replies hoarsely and leaves it at that.

"Hey, I heard about your appointment", Padmé calls when he approaches her. "I'm proud of you, although - why the hell didn't you tell me? That sounds like a big thing, the Council, but I came to the conclusion, after years of listening to you whine about them, that you… didn't like them at all? So what's this?"

Anakin snorts. "Yeah, well. It came as a surprise to me, too, really. And no, it's not something I particularly like. Ever considered committing treason as your next career move?"

Someone lesser than Padmé Amidala would probably have been startled by this, perhaps even worried, but she barely reacts. Being a politician gives one a poker face made of steel, and being in a relationship with Anakin Skywalker gives you the capability to deal with the strangest of situations without losing your sanity.

"It has crossed my mind, yes", she says mildly. "You?"

"Not at all", Anakin retorts, tugging at his hair. "Which is why I'm pissed off."

Padmé lifts her eyebrows. "I'm… not following."

Anakin groans softly. His head is pounding and his eyes burn from exhaustion. He's frustrated and he just wants to rest, but whenever he closes his eyes for over a minute, the horrifying melody of Padmé's and a baby's screaming blending together and the vision of Padmé crying in pain and ultimately dying fill his brain. It's getting worse each and every time with the knowledge that he can't do anything. It's so bad Anakin is willing to avoid sleeping at all costs. Right now the cost is losing the ability to think straight.

Padmé is still looking at him questioningly and Anakin feels tempted to just tell her everything. The voice of Obi-Wan telling him "this assignment is not to be on record" rings in his ears, though. Anakin and Padmé had established from the beginning that secret things from work remain secret - they don't have to feel pressured to tell each other anything about work they don't feel comfortable to share. Treason often falls into that particular category.

"I… well. Don't worry about that for now. I'll tell you if it becomes something you should be concerned over", Anakin sighs. "All I can say is that the Council doesn't trust the Chancellor, the Chancellor doesn't trust the Council and I'm the lucky bastard caught between the two."

"Okay, then", Padmé replies sympathetically and then winces. "Your kid keeps kicking me. You should tell him to stop."

"Her", Anakin corrects half-heartedly and puts his hand on her stomach. "Hey, kiddo, calm your ass, your mum has important work to do and dad is stressed out enough as it is."

Padmé giggles. "Amazing. That should work. What a natural you are, Annie."

Anakin smiles, genuinely, and hopes that they'll get the war to end before their child is born. This child deserves the world, the universe, the stars, and Anakin is ready to give them to her. Or him, if Padmé is right, which she isn't.

"What if we're both right?"

Now it's Padmé who groans. "Oh, as in twins?"

"Or triplets, or quadruplets, or -"

Padmé lifts her hand in the air to silence him. "Yes, but no. Hell no, as you so often express yourself."

"We should look into it."

"Uh-huh. I'm one step ahead of you -"

"Only one?"'

"- because I have an appointment tomorrow. D'you think we should keep the genders a surprise? As in, you name the child if she's a girl, and I'm naming him if and when he's a boy."

Anakin grins. "Oh, easy. Our girl will be Leia."

Padmé shrugs. "Fine. Our boy will be Luke."

Then Palpatine goes ahead and makes things even worse. 

Anakin is invited to some odd space opera at the overly fancy Galaxies Opera House. It's definitely not the kind of thing Anakin usually goes for, and the opera itself is so incredibly bizarre and incomprehensible Anakin feels very uncivilised.

Their conversation starts out well: Grievous has been found by the CIU. Anakin is relieved - he knows that this will be the key to finally ending the war. He also knows that it's highly likely it'll be him who gets sent to the Utapau system. He's not entirely sure whether to be happy about that.

On one hand, getting off-planet would possibly help clear his head. Doing things is Anakin's form of meditation, whether it is tinkering, fixing the ship, working out, doing cardio, duelling or fighting in general. It helps him relax, to only have one goal to work steadily towards. Fighting Grievous would also offer a great satisfaction. Anakin isn't behind the glory as much as he wants revenge, but that isn't something he's going to admit. to the world, he just wants justice. And peace, of course.

But there's the other hand, too - Anakin is not on his best at the moment. Sleep deprivation such as this is nothing he hasn't experienced before, but now he has to deal with his wife and child's (possibly children's, damn) upcoming, highly likely death. On top of that there's also an internal conflict that Anakin knows is going on inside him and is affecting him, but he hasn't dared to dwell on it too much yet.

Palpatine, bless his soul , will luckily bring that exact topic up right now in the middle of this space opera.

"Anakin", Palpatine says, and Anakin wants to cringe. "You know I'm not able to rely on the Jedi Council. If they haven't included you in their plot, they soon will."

Yeah, no shit .

"Uh. Pardon me, sir, I don't think I follow?"

"You must sense what I have come to suspect", Palpatine goes on, gravely. "The Jedi Council want control of the Republic. They are planning to betray me."

Hitting the nail right  on the head , Anakin wants to say, but bites his tongue. Probably not a very reassuring thing to say, anyway. Regardless, Anakin does think that Palpatine is exaggerating a little. Betray is a strong word to use.

"I'm not sure that's what they're - we're - going for."

Palpatine turns to him, his eyes serious and Anakin tries to concentrate.

"Search your feelings -"

When will people stop telling that to him? Anakin's feelings don't tell him shit in situations like this. They help him cut the right wires of the bomb, they help him find his way in a separatist base, they help him land a ship, but they don't help him in conflicts such as this. If they did, Anakin would be a fucking politician.

"You know, don't you?" Palpatine presses.

Anakin doesn't know what to say to that, honestly. He likes Palpatine - loves him too, perhaps - but he wishes they could talk about something else. He knows that the possible betrayal of the Jedi is kind of a big thing, but Anakin isn't equipped to deal with that. He doesn't know what to do or what even can be done. Hells, he is a Jedi.

He misses casual conversation with Palpatine. He misses the easy feeling between them, the way he could talk to him about basically everything without judgement. Palpatine gave him solid advice, and maybe Anakin should do so in return - there just isn't much he can do. Or say.

"They're very… motivated to bring peace to the Republic", Anakin says slowly. "I don't think they trust anyone else with the job."

"Indeed, they do not", Palpatine responds. "That is, unfortunately for them, not how democracy works."

The words "emergency powers" and "long after his term has expired" float to the front of his mind, but for all Anakin is tired he can't form a proper sentence.

"Anakin, is there something that makes you uneasy?"

Anakin turns his head a little too quickly at that. Damn.

Before he can even think of what to say in return, Palpatine continues: "The Jedi Council… they asked you to spy on me, did they not?"

"That's a question I don't know how to answer", Anakin replies and smiles with a hint of bitterness. "I would like to say I trust them as much as I trust you, but at the moment, my views are quite shaken."

His hands are shaking as well, and he can't quite breathe with ease. Anakin just wants back home, back to Padmé. Away from this mess.

"You should not be ashamed about rethinking your values and loyalties", Palpatine tells him, gently. "It is something young people like you go through often, and it's quite normal. You are a clever man, Anakin. Even I face internal conflicts even after years of being a politician."

Palpatine pauses briefly, before pushing on, voice quieter but friendly. "To be asked to betray your own beliefs, values and friends, like you have been - that is something many consider wrong, rightfully so. Wrong is a point of view, as is good. The Sith, I believe, are seen as the ultimate "wrong" in your teachings?"

"Yes", Anakin agrees, a little weakly.

Palpatine offers a small, reassuring smile. "Keep your head clear, Anakin. The Jedi and Sith share a weakness - losing power."

A long silence settles between them. Anakin tries to think about what has been said.

"Have you ever heard the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?"

Have I ever heard the what now? Anakin doesn't even feel surprised anymore although this is going deep into the I-did-not-expect-this category, as Darth Plagueis is undoubtedly a Sith name.

“The what?” asks Anakin, dumbly.

Palpatine repeats, and no, Anakin has not, and what he doesn't say is really, I’d rather watch this space opera instead, thank you very much. He doesn’t get the chance, because Palpatine goes ahead and tells him an actual Sith Legend.

At the end, Anakin is left wondering. Creating life. Sounds cool in theory, but that isn't going to help him now in any way, is it? He opens his mouth to ask how creating life is supposed to help him prevent the end of life when he remembers that this is a Sith tale, a legend , that is being told by the, uh, Chancellor of the Republic to him, a Jedi Knight. Showing interest in this tale really doesn't seem like a smart move.

Besides, he doesn't remember ever mentioning his visions to Palpatine. That's a burden he doesn't want to pass on the older man's shoulders, anyway, as he clearly has enough to worry about already.

Perhaps this is a test. Palpatine has expressed distrust towards the Jedi and their Council. Perhaps he's worried the Jedi are slowly but surely straying to the Dark Side. This could be a test to see if Anakin is also jumping onto the train towards the Sith side by telling him about a power that could be revolutionary to the galaxy. What other reason could the Chancellor have for telling Sith legends?

Sound theory, he decides. Too bad it took him so long to put it together that now there's an awkward silence. He wants to steer the conversation to another direction somehow, but… well. Despite his theory - despite everything, there's Padmé, so he has to ask. 

"Could he save people from death itself?"

Palpatine meets his eyes and nods. "The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider unnatural."

Anakin huffs, and leans back in his chair - that wasn't quite a straight answer. Yet, something in the story is resonating with him. Creating life… by influencing midi-chlorians. That sounds like something useful.

Then it hits him, and he almost laughs out loud. Damn, what if he'd been conceived… by a Sith Lord? It's a hysterical, hilarious idea while also being moderately worrying. That would explain a wide variety of things - no father and a never-done-before midichlorian count. 

Anakin Skywalker, son of the Sith. Wouldn't that just be fucking great.

Palpatine tells the tale to its bitter end. Darth Plagueis was killed by his apprentice, a classic Sith move, and that was it. Anakin puts a mental remainder to look this Plagueis guy up - if just for the shits and giggles. Father's day could get a whole new meaning for him.

He doesn't get the chance, because the Council is assembling. The meeting about Grievous' capture is, unsurprisingly, a shitshow. Anakin goes ahead and does what he's told to - tells the Council what the Chancellor wants. The Council does what it always does - opposes him.

"A Master is needed", Yoda speaks. "With more experience."

That, if something, pisses Anakin right off, because it's Anakin Skywalker that gets sent on the most dangerous missions. It's him who is sent to endanger his and his legion's life again and again on missions that are almost suicidal, because he's the only one that can do it. Experience is what he's got more than enough. He's a damn war general! He's been fighting this war as long as the others - he was there when it started! Anakin is in no way less capable.

Before he can begin his rant, Windu manages to step in.

"Given our resources", Windu says, gravely, "I recommend we only send one Jedi."

Ah, that's -

"Master Kenobi."

- a low blow, if there's ever been one.

"That", Anakin cuts in, slowly, desperately trying to keep his calm. "Is bullshit."

Obi-Wan glares at him, unimpressed. Not because he's offended, necessarily (Obi-Wan became immune to Anakin's insults somewhere during Anakin's puberty, and besides, Obi-Wan is modest ) but because he expects more as an explanation, as he should. Also, he's probably itching to say language .

"Why not just send us both? Killing - sorry, defeating - Grievous is the key to winning this war. Why not make sure it gets done?"

"Do you not trust your Master's abilities?"

Not against Grievous I don't , Anakin thinks furiously, because Obi-Wan has duelled with Grievous a lot, and guess what? He lost each and every single time.

"With all due respect", Anakin manages. "Who trained Grievous? Dooku. Who defeated Dooku again? Oh, that would be me. Obi-Wan has fought Grievous before, yeah, but hasn't won  - sorry - but together we could do it. I know Dooku's style and what he's taught Grievous, Obi-Wan knows Grievous'. We always fight as a team, why change that ?"

If only he had a table he would slam his fist against instead of sitting in this ridiculous chair.

Obi-Wan looks a bit impressed now. Approval would be taking one step too far, but Anakin is happy to find out he's exceeded exceptions. Bringing his own skillset into the debate is always a risky move, but acknowledging his own powers and skills has never been a problem for Anakin.

"The Chancellor asked for you to get this seat on the Council, you mustn't abandon -" begins Master Mundi, but at this point, Anakin has had it .

"And now you listen to the Chancellor? This is for the Republic, dammit, I'm sure it's fine if you send us both. What of importance do I have to do here anyway? Nothing that helps anyone in any way whatsoever."

And because fuck them all , "I'm a warrior, not a s-"

"And that's quite enough of that", Obi-Wan interrupts, his voice aggravatingly calm.

Windu narrows his eyes. "A warrior, Skywalker? Last time I checked, we were Jedi, peacekeepers, not warriors."

Is this a serious conversation they're having? Anakin ponders whether he should pinch himself to check. The last time he was this annoyed with the Council was back at Ahsoka's trial, and hold on, that is not what he wants to think about now -

"Oh yes, that's why I'm working my ass off in the Grand Army of the Republic as a general , that's why I was in the Outer rim, fighting for my life and the Republic for months -"

"Calm down, you should", Yoda tells him. 

Anakin is about to take the bait and strangle Yoda on the spot, but Obi-Wan shoots him a look of warning. Anakin takes an exaggeratedly deep breath and leans back in his chair. He's pretty proud of himself for managing it.

"Anakin does have a point", Obi-Wan says, and Anakin feels a little bit better immediately.

"Indeed", Plo agrees. "I also find it in the Republic's best interest to send, ah, The Team, as you're known?"

Anakin is doing his very best to not look hopeful as the Councillors mull this over. Obi-Wan is avoiding looking at him for whatever reason, but Anakin's managed to make a point. And it's a good point, for once.

"Taking down Grievous is our first priority", Mundi finally states.

Relief floods Anakin as the other members of the Council finally, finally start agreeing.

Yoda tilts his head. "A fine case, Skywalker makes. Send The Team, we shall."

In hindsight, it probably wasn't his greatest win, after all.

He may or may not have forgotten one major part of his schedule.

"Uh, Padmé -"

Padmé sighs, because she always knows when Anakin a up to something. "Yes, Anakin? What brilliant decision have you made on this fine day?"

Anakin realises, now, that leaving his pregnant wife on Coruscant while he goes to pursue one of the galaxy's best duelers may not be the best idea. It is, in fact, a dick move that he's not very proud of. Yes, Padmé is the strongest and smartest person he knows, but still.

"I may or may not have another mission."

He pauses.

"And it may or may not be to defeat Grievous on Utapau. With Obi-Wan."

Padmé turns to look at him. To his great relief, she doesn't look upset. Not that she looks particularly happy, either.

"They were going to send Obi-Wan alone", he rushes to explain, because he feels like he needs to tell the whole story. "And I - he's never won before, and so, I thought… well, yeah. But, if you want me to stay, I'll stay. My pride can take it - I can call them right now, just tell me to do it and I will, I promise -"

"Anakin", Padmé interrupts gently, and puts her arm around him. "It's alright. You should go."

Anakin huffs. "Ha, 'it's alright'? You can do better than that."

Padmé laughs against his shoulder. Anakin feels relieved - not only is he glad Padmé isn't shouting at him, he's also glad he doesn't have to call the Council. Yes, his pride could take it for Padmé, but it'd be cutting it very close.

"Fine - it's not alright. You're kind of an asshole for leaving me here, but it's also not your fault. You're not really an asshole, either, it's for the greater benefit and, also, your job. Not only are you going to protect your best friend - and you have a good reason to be worried, he has died on you twice already -"

"Ouch", Anakin puts in, but he's smiling.

"- and you're going to defeat the last real separatist threat. While I would greatly appreciate your company here, you'd make me lose my sanity along with yours if you had to just sit and wait without nothing to do." 

Nothing to do except partake in committing treason , Anakin wants to add but thinks better of it.

Padmé pauses to pull back and meet his eyes. "All I ask is for you to come back to meet your child. Or actually, as it turns out - children. We're having twins."

Anakin smiles, and for once, it's not his brash, all-teeth fuck-you grin that he uses in the field, or the arrogant smirk he plasters on in front of the Jedi, or the ingenuine mask he uses for the press. It's a small smile, gentle and soft, the one he preserves for Padmé. And occasionally Obi-Wan. For Ahsoka too, back then, but… right. Twins. That is insane.

"Of course I will", he tells her. "Hell, nothing can keep me back."