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A young troll is floating inside the abyss. It just so happens, on the 13th of [REDACTED], [DATA EXPUNGED], is this young troll's birthday. Though it has been a short time since her creation, it is only today she will be given a name.
What will the name of this troll be?
[NichtS Gehirenhein...]
Your name is NICHTS GEHIRNHEIN. As mentioned before, today is the second anniversary of your SCRAPPING. You despise this day with a burning passion. The vast, empty space around you fills your nonexistent heart with FEAR and DREAD. You are fascinated by THE WORKINGS OF THE UNIVERSE, and as your world's official SCRAPPED FANTROLL, you have the opportunity to look through people's lenses, so to speak. You consider this more of a HOBBY than anything.
[Huh. ThankS, weird narrator...]
You are also aware of VARIOUS ANOMALIES inside your world thanks to your status as a SCRAPPED FANTROLL, such as NARRATORS, SPELLNG MISTAKES, and so on. Your room, whatever was left of it, consists of a CRYSTAL BALL gifted by your CREATOR and the vast open space of THE VOID. Even though you are alone in this hallow space, you are happy to call this place home. You don't have a SYLLADEX, and even if you did, you wouldn't be able to store anything in it, well, aside from your NONFUNCTIONAL FLOATING COMPUTER.
>Inspect Crystal Ball. ([Not like I had a choice...])
Inside the Crystal Ball, you see what appears to be a massive battle on a global scale. Various trolls have assembled to take down the threat known as LORD ENGLISH through some ARCANE BULLSHIT or something. There appears to be one with glasses and some asymmetrical horns on her head. She appears to be the "leader" of this army. Through the dialogue exchanged between her and another troll, you learn her name is VRISKA SERKET and she is discussing with some other trolls you don't really care for. You sigh and spin the Crystal Ball. Your eyes draw upon another similar looking battle with completely different trolls. They are discussing plans to overthrow some king nearby a town. They suddenly turn to look at you through the Crystal Ball and FREAK THE FUCK OUT. You almost forgot the object bestowed onto you was visible to other lifeforms. You spin the Crystal Ball again and a pattern of red and white fills the ball.
>Scroll the Ball.
After a long time of pondering, you decide to scroll the ball towards you. The pattern grows smaller and smaller as a blanket laying on a patch of grass is now in full view. You spot a wooden basket neatly placed on one of the blanket's corners. Inside, you see a collection of food stuffs and beverages of both troll and human species. Suddenly, a female troll walks into view. You notice her cat-like horns and the flower crown proudly displayed on her head. You scoff at the troll's ridiculous looks. As she sits cross-legged on the blanket, you can't help but giggle at the troll's purple peace sign printed on her t-shirt.
[Hah!... How cute!...]
The troll appears to be looking around, waiting for something. Or someone...? She suddenly gasps, and a troll recognized as GAMZEE MAKARA steps into view. What in blazes was he doing with a girl like her?
Indeed... What balls-er-reproductive organs does this girl have in order to sit with the ruthless, cunning, and slightly handsome Makara brother?...
[Oh shut up, he'S not handsome...'yet'...]
As you gaze into the ball, you see Gamzee sit down with the troll cross-legged. They begin talking to each other, but you can't make out a hint of what they're saying. Reading lips doesn't seem to help much in the situation either. ...Now what?
[Pff!... Zoom in, duh!...]
>Zoom in.
You watch as the view enlarges right before your eyes. You can now hear the conversation transpire before you.
Y'know, Gamzee, I'm glad we're having this picnic. It's nice to send some time togther.
sAmE hErE, sWeEtIe. wIsH oUr fRiEnDs wOuLd sHoW uP bY nOw.
Well, saving the universe and stuff does take a lot out of--oooh a butterfly! Right, were was I? Eh, forget it. Since no one's around at the moment, could we mabe... do the thing?
Gamzee and the female troll give each other a smug expression. You narrow your eyebrows in preparation for what might happen next. Gamzee leans in, presumably for a disgusting session of that-shall-be-unnamed. The other troll leans into Gamzee... and pulls out a sandwich. As your confusion of the situation begins to take effect, Gamzee leans back, holding a set of bowling pins. Gamzee winds up, and starts throwing them one-by-one. The female troll takes a bite out of her sandwich.
[He'S juggling, isn't he...]
>Turn your head away in disgust and facepalm.
You are absolutely done with the shenanigans of Gamzee. You can hear the sounds of wind rushing against the pin, though you really wish you couldn't.
hey dude. hey osty.
You hear the pins stop flying through the air. A male voice you do not recognize catches you by surprise. You turn to the Crystal Ball and spot a male human with sunglasses, short, spiked hair, and a broken record on his t-shirt. He appears to be holding a plastic bag from an undisclosed supermarket. Gamzee seems to be an acquaintance with this fellow human.
Hi, Dave!
hEy, DaVebRo. gLaD yOu CoUlD mAkE iT.
yeah, the retcon affected some of the stores in town. took karkat and i a long time to finally get stuff for the picnic.
[Retcon?...]
Dave pulls out a bottle of Cherry Faygo and a large baguette from the bag and places it down on the blanket. Gamzee and Osty's eyes light up as they saw the Faygo in front of them. Dave took a bite from his baguette, savoring every chew like it was precious.
Hey, Dave, where's Karkat? I thoght he was going with yu?
Dave, while still chewing the remaining baguette, looked at Osty.
karkat schaid, mmph, schomthing about taking care afph... hold on
Dave swallows the food in his mouth, leaving you disgusted and wanting to vomit.
he said something about taking care of something. he didn't exactly tell me where he--
The conversation was cut short by a sudden ringing. Gamzee and Osty look at Dave, and Dave rummages his pocket. He pulls out his phone, which is decorated with Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff art. He swipes up and presses the phone against his ear.
yello?
DAVE HOLY SHIT. YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE WHAT I'M FUCKING LOOKING AT. LIKE, HOLY SHIT MAN IT'S--
After everyone's ears stopped ringing, Dave slowly pressed the phone against his ear.
dude. dude. karkat. calm down. BREATHE.
After a brief pause, presumably to let Karkat take a breather. Dave then listens in to whatever Karkat has to say, nodding and giving a verbal agreement occasionally. Dave's face then scrunches.
a floating orb? ...wait what? dude, where are you?
Your heart suddenly drops. You frantically try to rotate the orb, trying to find where Karkat spotted the Crystal Ball. You stop rotating the ball. There, halfway across the grassy hill, you spot Karkat holding a phone up to his ear. He is staring directly at you with an exasperated expression. You try to spin the Crystal Ball to get out of the situation, but something stops the ball from moving. You take a deep breath, and try to think of a good solution to this particular--
whoops
NICE GOING, DAVE. YA BROKE IT.
well shit dude how was i supposed to know that was-- uh, is that thing glowing or is it just me.
OH SHIT. DUDE, WE NEED TO RUN.
Dave and Karkat then ran up the hill away from the now floating, glowing orb. They watch as it violently shakes and starts to crack even more. Inside THE VOID, Nichts is clinging onto the "ground" as she is being sucked into the Crystal Ball. Everything around her is lit up by the cracking ball. Nichts' slowly looses her grip, and gets sucked into the Crystal Ball. She is thrown into a room completely white room and screams in agony. Nichts catches something out of the corner of her eye and turns around to see a bright yellow light shining below. It almost felt...warm. Like a mother's hug to a child. The light then grew brighter and more intense, causing Nichts to shield her eyes. Nichts felt her body going limp and slamming against the ground. Everything was dark. No light, no color, just darkness surrounding Nichts. Nichts tried to make her body get up like usual, but it wouldn't budge. She was paralyzed against the surprisingly soft ground. Her ears stopped ringing and now picked up what sounded like...Dave? He appeared to be distressed, talking with someone and freaking out about...you. There were also other voices there as well, but you couldn't make them out.
>Call out to Dave.
[Dave, pleaSe, help me!...] [Someone...anyone...pleaSe...]
You tried to yell out to someone, anyone, but all that was there was a small whimper. You hear Dave say something about you being alive and stuff. Dave then tries to talk to you, as though trying to wake you from a long slumber. You desperately try to open your eyes, hoping to obtain some information about what's happening outside the paralyzed state of your body. They open slowly, the light almost blinding you. This light is different to the Crystal Ball. It isn't blinding at times and it almost feels...comforting in a way. The light reveals Dave's face in a state of shock and almost on the verge of tears. It is understandable, given that you're probably still unconscious. [If my reSearch iS anything to go by, he alSo Saw a few deathS of either him or hiS friendS... he had been through a lot...] Indeed.
hey little dude. you okay?
You give a smile before passing out again. You hear Dave's voice ringing through your ears before you cannot process your outside surroundings. Everything around you begins to fade into darkness, no sounds nor sights to behold as far as you can tell. Yet, you feel...awake. You want to wake up, to reappear back home and have it all be a bad dream. You desperately try to open your eyes, move a limb, do something to get yourself out of this state. You try and try, but to no avail. You metaphorically sit in defeat. Then...the light. The light that was shining through your Crystal Ball and brought you here. The warm yellow light. You stand up, or at least think you do. You stare at the light for a moment. It's shining, almost taunting you with its hypnotic glow. You run to it like your life depended on it. Your legs brushing against the "surface" as you feel the nonexistent wind brushing past your hair and horns. You jump toward the light, and become enveloped by its warm embrace. You feel your eyes open. At first, everything is a blurry mess, with white and beige filling your sockets and a constant, annoying ringing blaring in your ears. You blink a few times, eventually fully adjusting to everything around you. You see Osty sitting in a chair next to you talking with someone. They appear to be wearing glasses and are a bit rotund in stature. This human appears to be discussing or comforting Osty about something. Your eyes then draw to what looks to be the slightly familiar KANAYA MARYAM. She appears to be talking with ROSE LALONDE about something out of earshot. They then notice that you are looking directly at them. They motion for everyone to be quiet. They wait as you begin to sit up in what feels like a human bed. Then, the pain. You feel absolute agony run through your head. Everything feels dizzy and filled with the most unimaginable pain imaginable. You can't help but yell out because of it.
Easy there. Rose, could you hand me some bandages?
Uh, yes. Of course.
Rose opens up a medical kit and hands Jane some bandages. Jane tries to reach out for Nichts, but hesitates when Nichts starts hissing at her.
Hey, hold still, will ya? OW!
After a long time of scratching, biting, and tending to wounds, Nichts was finally patched up. Jane was also tended to by Rose, with bandages covering most of the cuts made my Nichts. After the whole ordeal, Nichts felt a bit better, though still bitter at Jane.
There, all better! Now--
Nichts was quick to interrupt Jane.
[You want to know how I got here and ended up in thiS peculiar Scenario...]
Uh, maybe?
[Fine, I Shall--]
Karkat and Dave were walking down the hall, talking about their recent find. Dave was holding Nicht's laptop in his hands, looking at the folders inside.
so this computer has folders for our universe too?
YES. SOME FOR TIMELINES CURRENLY INCOMPLETE OR NOT IN EXISTENCE YET. THERE'S EVEN SOME NOTES FOR SOME "MENTAL BREAKDOWN" SECTION, WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS.
yeesh. i thought i had problems
Dave suddenly looked away from the laptop and put his arm out.
...uh dude
WHAT.
The two stopped and saw their friends inside John's bedroom, with Nichts cringing right inside John's bed.
i think we may have walked in at the wrong time
UGH. THIS IS WORSE THAN WHEN WE HAD TO TELL KANAYA ABOUT THE WHOLE "SOBER KING" INCIDENT.
Nicht's curiosity was peaked.
["Sober King?..."]
its a long story
[Well I'd love to hear it...]
Everyone groaned, except for Osty, who was ecstatic to hear the 15th retelling of the "Sober King" saga, as she often called it.
I'll grab the popcorn.
As Shall I
CAN WE INTERROGATE HER *LATER*?
sure dude. whatever floats your boat.
Karkat fistpumped with enthusiasm.
I'll be sure to fill in some details if you want!
Nichts was taken aback by the troll's enthusiastic attitude, but was happy to oblige.
So, let's start from the very beginnning...
