Work Text:
Up in the rafters, Cooking Cat was having a rather lousy morning. Admittedly, most days in Mafia Town were rather unpleasant, seeing as the Town was occupied by the Mafia, a bunch of unnecessarily violent people who regularly assaulted townsfolk, blew things up, robbed visitors, and generally made a mess of things, but today was a special brand of misery. The night before, a gang of Mafia Goons had, for whatever reason, come up with the WONDERFUL IDEA of tearing up the town’s pipe system just for the peck of it.
The pipe system.
The one connected to the volcano.
How the mafia had managed to install a pipe system in a volcano, Cooking Cat would never know. How they even had a pipe system at all was even more confusing, as Cooking Cat highly doubted that a single mafia member had technological knowledge, but that was besides the point. The point was that when Cooking Cat woke up that morning, she sensed that the air was a lot warmer than usual. When she went outside to look, she found the entire town filling up with lava.
In hindsight, she shouldn’t have been surprised. Honestly, it was more shocking that this kind of stuff didn’t happen a lot more often. Putting the mafia anywhere near a volcano was just a disaster waiting to happen, and she should have known this was coming eventually. But nonetheless, trying to ignore the fact that the town was burning up all around her was not an easy task, and it certainly made the morning a lot more stressful than usual. It didn’t really help that the crowd of distressed patrons were running around in the lobby screaming and breaking things in their panic, and making it an even bigger mess than it already was.
The constant clutter in Mafia HQ had always been a source of stress for Cooking Cat. Cooking Cat hated seeing work pile up. Whenever there were tasks that Cooking Cat felt needed to be done, no matter how small or unnecessary, Cooking Cat always felt the overwhelming need to get them done. Even when she tried not to think about it, it would still lurk in the back of her mind constantly, even when it was finished, and then she’d probably do it over again. And no matter how many times she had tried to clean Mafia HQ, it was always the same cluttered, torn up mess of a building it always was by the end of the day. She had learned pretty quickly that trying to maintain cleanliness was a hopeless task, and seeing as it took time away from her actual job of cooking she had given up trying, but it didn’t make her feel any less overwhelmed by the constant clutter and work that still needed doing which had gone undone.
Now it was even worse somehow, and it made Cooking Cat’s stress levels significantly higher, and after several hours of cooking and dealing with distressed patrons and trying not to think about the fact that the town was slowly burning up, Cooking Cat has decided to take a break. Now, she was sitting up in the rafters, taking some time to cool off a bit. She pulled a few pieces of parchment out of her hat and started folding them into little origami fish.
Cooking Cat liked origami. Not as much as cooking, but it was a fun little hobby. Something about it made Cooking Cat feel better, and helped ease her anxious thoughts.Once she got started, it was difficult to stop. And when she ran out of paper, she’d unfold it and do it over again. She wasn’t sure why she did this, she just knew that it made her feel better, and that was reason enough for her.
As she was folding another piece of paper into a little top hat, her thoughts were interrupted by a particularly loud crash coming from the lobby. She sighed and set aside her paper creations as her feeling of comfort vanished out the window. She grabbed the wooden platform she stood on and peered over the side to see what was going on.
Down in the lobby, it was mostly the usual chaos, though a bit worse than normal on account of the town’s current state; chairs knocked over, tables being thrown, blood staining the carpet, that sort of thing. However, among the crowd of mafia patrons, a strange figure stuck out to her. They were wearing a red hood which was pulled down over their face, and they were slumped against a fallen table, looking disoriented. That must have been the source of the crash, Cooking Cat thought. They’d probably been in the path of one of the mafia goons. Cooking Cat couldn’t see what they looked like, but they felt….familiar, somehow. Cooking Cat leaned forward a bit more, standing on her hind legs for support. She squinted a bit, and a few other details started to stick out to her. The person seemed to be wearing some sort of coin around their neck; a red one, with a star painted on it. And though it was a bit hard to see from where she was, she could see a bit of blonde hair sticking out from the hood. Was that-?
Cooking Cat grabbed one of her origami fish, then stuck her hand out over the figure’s head and dropped the fish onto their head. She watched as the figure smacked a hand over their head, looked down at the crumpled fish in their hand, then looked up at the rafters. Cooking Cat waved at them, motioning for them to come on up.
The figure nodded up at Cooking Cat before turning to the nearby wall. They backed up a bit, before running at the wall, then up the wall, and finally kicking off the surface and throwing themselves into the rafters, nearly knocking Cooking Cat off her feet.
“Hey lady, what’s up?” Mustache girl said, pulling back her hood and giving Cooking Cat a mischievous grin.
“Kitten!” Cooking Cat gave Mustache Girl some friendly pats on the head, messing up her hair a bit. “Nice to see ya!”
Mustache girl pushed her hand away, grimacing slightly. “Yeah, yeah, you too. No need to get all chummy.” She smoothed her hair back again with a few strokes of her hand, then fixed Cooking Cat with her usual haughty expression and attitude, as though she were making negotiations. “So anyways, about our little deal-“
“Oh, you want me to get you some food? Of course, kitten!”
Cooking Cat jumped down from her perch up in the rafters and waddled off to the kitchen, Mustache Girl following shortly behind. Upon stepping into the kitchen, the strong smell of rot and blood hit her like a brick. She clamped a hand over her mouth and nose and, trying very hard not to gag, followed Cooking Cat over to the counters.
“Sorry about the mess, kitten. You’ll get used to it in a bit.” Mustache Girl had her doubts.
“Why does it smell like blood in here?” Mustache Girl asked through her fingers.
“Huh? Oh, don’t worry about it. The mafia just eat a lot of meat, that’s all.”
“...okay then,”
Mustache girl said, a bit suspicious.
Cooking Cat took out a large pot from under the counter, then took out a carton of some weird thick yellow stuff and poured it in. As the pot started to fill up, she turned her head to look at Mustache Girl, who had pulled her hood back over her face in order to ward off the smell and not be seen by the Mafia in the kitchen. “Soooo….how’s it goin’ kitten?” Cooking Cat said, trying to make a bit of friendly conversation.
“Pretty good.” Mustache Girl’s muffled voice responded from under her hood. “I saw some mafia guys burning up in the lava on my way over here, which was pretty funny. Oh yeah, did I mention the town’s flooded with lava right now? Cuz it’s flooded with lava right now.”
Cooking Cat’s friendly smile dropped a bit. She hadn’t forgotten, but she’d been trying not to think about it. She sighed.
“Yeah. Some mafia dudes tore up the pipe system or something.” Mustache Girl snickered.
“Wow, I didn’t realize anyone could be that stupid. I mean, they’re the ones who built the pipe system, right? Do they seriously not know where that leads? Do they think anything through?”
“Probably not,” Cooking Cat said, placing the pot on the stove and turning on the heat.
“Say kitten, think you could go get my fridge? I left it up in the rafters.”
“Oh. Yeah, sure.” Mustache Girl sprinted outside of the kitchen, and Cooking Cat went back to stirring the broth. A few moments later, a loud crash sounded from behind her, and Cooking Cat let out a hiss and jumped back as her entire fridge skidded across the floor and crashed into the counter. She turned around to see Mustache Girl had re-entered the room. “Found your fridge.”
“Jeez, careful kitten! You could hit somebody with that!”
After regaining a bit of composure, Cooking Cat reached out a claw and plucked out some vegetables. She shuffled the vegetables in the drawer around, searching for something. Mustache Girl walked up to the counter and tried to peer over Cooking Cat’s shoulder to watch. Suddenly, Cooking Cat let out a loud hiss and jumped back from the counter, causing Mustache Girl to scramble out of the way. Cooking Cat quickly scrambled behind Mustache Girl for shelter, hissing at something lurking on the counter.
“What? What happened?” Mustache Girl said, a bit worried. What could have scared the cat lady so bad? Cooking Cat slowly raised her paw and pointed a shaking finger at the counter. And there, slunk low on the countertop, leering up at the pair, ready to strike, was-
“A….cucumber?” Mustache Girl stared at the menacing green vegetable which had been the source of Cooking Cat’s alarm.
“No sudden moves!” Cooking Cat hissed. “It may look like some harmless vegetable, but get too close, it’ll jump out and get ya with it’s venomous fangs!”
“.....I think that’s snakes.”
“Snakes, and cucumbers!”
Mustache Girl put her face in her hands and let out an exasperated sigh. Cats. She walked up to the counter and picked up the stalking veggie in one hand, gripped it by the throat, then swallowed it in one bite and turned back to Cooking Cat.
“Alright, it’s gone now. Now if you don’t mind, can you please get back to cooking? I’m not here to fight off vegetables.”
Cooking Cat stared in awe. She’d known Mustache Girl was no ordinary child, but she’d had no idea how strong she truly was. I mean, fighting off a full-grown cucumber? All by herself? Clearly she was a force to be reckoned with. She stared at the child with a look of newfound respect . “...right. Of course.”
She walked back over to the counter and plopped the vegetables onto a cutting board, then pulled a knife from the block and started chopping away at the helpless vegetables. Vegetable juice soaked the cutting board. Mustache Girl looked on, imagining the little vegetables as Mafia goons, and a wide, sinister grin spread over her face as she watched the vegetables be slaughtered for their sins. “Yes,” she hissed under her breath, “make them payyyyyyy.”
“What?”
“Nothing.” Cooking Cat gave her a weird look, but just shrugged her shoulders and continued chopping away.
After chopping up the vegetables and adding them to the broth, the next thing she needed was chicken. The Mafia’s kitchen was full of meat since it was pretty much the only thing the mafia would eat, so it shouldn’t have been a problem, except all the food the mafia kept in their kitchen was at varying levels of edibility, and Cooking Cat would rather just use what was in her fridge than dig through a bunch of rotting and/or contaminated meat. After that, she added a bit of seasoning to the soup, let it heat for a bit, and after giving it a few stirs, it was done. She scooped some out and poured it into a bowl, then gave it to the mustached child.
“Here ya go, kitten!” She said, giving her a warm smile. Mustache Girl took the bowl and gave Cooking Cat an appreciative nod. “Thanks, Cookie.” Cooking Cat raised an eyebrow. “Cookie?”
“It’s like Cooking Cat, just...shortened. It’s-it’s like... like a nickname, kind of.”
“Well, it’s certainly an improvement over ‘lady.’”
Mustache Girl took a sip of her soup. For a few moments, there was just silence as Mustache Girl ate her meal. When Mustache Girl was finished, Cooking Cat took the bowl from her and placed it in the sink. “So, did ya like it?” She said, smiling at Mustache Girl.
“Yeah, it was pretty good. Definitely an improvement over the stuff they were selling at those mafia food booths.”
“Well, that’s good to hear,” Cooking Cat said cheerfully.
“Mhmm. Welp, I’m gonna head out now. Nice seeing you, Cookie.” Mustache Girl said, gesturing a thumb towards the door.
“You’re going out?” Cooking Cat looked worried. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, kitten, what with the town still dealing with that whole lava issue. It’s probably best to stay inside for a while, at least until the whole lava thing gets dealt with.”
Mustache Girl rolled her eyes. ”Oh, please. I am perfectly capable of dealing with a bit of lava for a few hours.”
“I’m sure you are kitten, I just…...I just think it’d be safer to stay inside for a bit until this whole mess gets cleaned up.”
Mustache Girl looked annoyed. “Yeah, it probably would. So what?”
“So...it would probably be best to go with the safer option, don’t you think?”
Mustache Girl smirked. “Oh, please. Taking the easy way out is for cowards. Which I am not. I am a gangster.”
“Pfft-“ Cooking Cat quickly clamped a paw over her mouth to stifle her laughter, and ducked her head so Moustache Girl couldn’t see her face. It was probably rude to laugh, but Cooking Cat couldn’t help it. However, the chef’s amusement did not go unnoticed by the self-proclaimed gangster. Moustache Girl’s eyebrows furrowed into an expression of anger. “What? What’s so funny?” She said, stomping forward and standing on her toes to look Cooking Cat square in the eye. “Am I some kind of joke to you?”
“No, no, not at all! Sorry, it’s just-“ she cleared her throat-“I didn’t expect you to say that.”
“Well, you know what? I’ll show you! I’ll go out there all by myself, just you watch!”
“What- no! Kitten!” Cooking Cat hurried after Mustache Girl. “Look, you don’t have to stay inside, but-can you at least stay by the HQ where there’s no lava? I wouldn’t want you to get hurt.”
Then, a thought struck Cooking Cat. “Also, you’d probably have a pretty good view of mafia town burning from up here.” Mustache Girl paused a couple inches from the door. For a few seconds, she stood still, seemingly considering this. Then she grabbed the doorknob and swung the door open.
“Alright, if you’re so worried about it, I’ll keep away from all the lava. Wouldn’t wanna be in the same boat as the mafia, anyway. It’s much more fun watching em’ suffer from a safe distance anyway. Schadenfreude and all that.” Cooking Cat wasn’t sure how to respond to that.
“Uh...okay. Well, try to be careful out there, kitten.”
“Sure thing, cookie.” And with that, Mustache Girl sprinted off, letting the door slam shut behind her.
“....what a strange kid.” Cooking Cat muttered to herself.