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‘Stand aside, Thorne’
T h o r n e
The Captain had referred to him by last name only. Something he hadn’t done for at least a decade.
He thought they were over that.
Thomas had told him time and time again that last names were not polite this far into a relationship (a friendship. Not relationship, Thomas.)
It felt weird being ‘last-named’ by someone he considered a friend. Well, acquaintance, technically, but after 70 years of living together friend was more apt. Even Julian didn’t get ‘last-named’ by The Captain and Julian deserved it more than him most days. It was like a knife to his heart, the final hit of the hammer after an already stressful day.
‘I’m going to drown myself in the lake!’
Good move Thomas. If people didn’t respect you before they certainly wouldn’t now. Especially The Captain. He was working on gaining his respect, it was slow but he was getting there with it but alas after that display he was probably back to the beginning. Another work-shy layabout. In previous arguments The Captain had scoffed at him as he said he would have not fought in the war. The Captain has rolled his eyes and in a scathing tone he hadn’t heard him use before Captain had called him a ‘conscientious objector’. He’ asked Alison what it mean and she explained- someone who has claimed the right to refuse to perform military service on the grounds of freedom of thought, conscience, or religion- it didn’t seem like a bad thing but clearly in The Captain’s eyes it was.
The quietness of the outdoors was a welcome difference to the noise of the house. Thomas hadn’t been too bothered by the film crew to begin with, a regency piece should have been comforting but it seemed as though life was out to get him today.
From the moment they arrived that morning things had been going wrong.
FIRST:
He’d had learnt about this thing called a ‘free pass’ and it had shaken his whole world. Alison wishes to bed the lead player and Michael would allow her! She’d been tripping over herself all morning for this minstrel (who wasn’t even that attractive if he did say so himself) and embarrassing herself. Thomas had felt sorry for her until...
SECOND:
He’d found out what the subject of the film was.
‘The Life of Byron’
He wasn’t sure how he’d missed it in all the discussion of the film. If he had heard of the subject matter he would have spoke to Alison about it before hand. What made it worse was that no one had listened when he tried to explain his grievances with it! They’d waved him off.
‘Stand aside, Thorne!’
‘You think every woman is the woman of your dreams.’
Such scathing words! And no one had followed him out of the house either, more interested in the film and the players than someone they live with! The heathens.
THIRD:
There was a third but Thomas didn’t want to think about that. The third was almost embarrassing. It was shameful. It was grating on him how much this third thing had gotten to him. He was just grateful as the sun set that was a ghost and couldn’t feel the cold of the lake around him.
Still stewing on his third gripe he dropped his head below the surface of the water and opened his eyes. Murky. He resurfaced and was almost disappointed by the lack of water rolling down his face.
The lake had been his favourite place when he was alive- in the summer heat it was the perfect way to cool off and he’d learnt it was far enough from the house that he could engage in scandalous activity and not be caught.
His brain went back to that pesky third gripe as he thought back.
He could never convince any of the women he courted to join him in the lake- they’d always giggled and blushed calling him a rascal for using such underhand tactic to get them disrobed. He always graciously admitted with a coy smile and a dip of his that that was indeed his plan; he found that the women usually liked that forwardness and openness and even if they wouldn’t indulge him in the lake they would indulge him in the bedroom later.
The men however. A lot more willing to slip into the cool lake alongside him. There had been friends who were in before Thomas could even ask. Their clothes on the bank by the tree, the lake cooling them off and the privacy spurring them on. Lips meeting and hands wandering under the surface. The bank of the lake was uncomfortable but at many times had become a quick and simple substitute for a bed. As much as Thomas enjoyed his time with the women he took to bed the trysts with the men were always far more enjoyable.
While submerged in the lake and reminiscing, Thomas’s mind was wondering back to his best friend, Theodore Turner. They’d been close since beginning schooling together and were friends throughout university and beyond. Theodore spent many a summer at the Thorne residence. People who knew the pair were well aware of their inclination toward each other but no one dared make a comment.
Even after he died Theodore had sat by the lake thinking back on their time together and Thomas had sat next to him fantasising too- he missed the touch of another more than he had ever thought.
Thomas had spent the first few decades of death almost hoping someone else would die that he could befriend, that he could talk too and would appreciate him. After Fanny had died he gave up on that thought- almost a century and he was still alone. That was until the 1950’s when the cohort were joined by a new figure; The Captain.
Goodness, The Captain.
It was he who had caused his third gripe of the day. Not just because he had called him Thorne, no, it had started long before that. It had started even earlier than his first issue of this ‘Free Pass’. His third issue was in the form of The Captain and his new infatuation; Adam, the director.
Adam.
Gosh, Captain has had his eyes glued to the director since he stepped out of his carriage that morning. Similar to Alison’s love, Thomas was not convinced Adam was that appealing to the eye. He was alright, yes, but Thomas himself was more attractive than him! But no, The Captain didn’t seem to agree.
This was what had made the use of ‘Thorne’ more scathing. They had been getting on well, better than well, in fact! Thomas and The Captain were beginning to develop a reputation with each other and it was blossoming into something akin to what he had had with Theodore.
Despite not openly admitting it Thomas knew that The Captain was also inclined to the male persuasion and he had been slowly opening up to him about that. Once learning that Thomas himself had experience with the male form The Captain had been giving him more attention; nothing had happened, really, a chaste kiss here and there. Nothing beyond a gentle but fast press of lips. Thomas found it almost a tease but he was willing to move at The Captain’s pace as to not spook the man back into hiding.
This is what was even more irritating about this Adam fellow. The Captain had been fast enough to tell Thomas not to be too obvious about their rendezvous or to even hint that something may be happening between them but since Adam had stepped foot onto the grounds Captain had been openly fawning over him. No hidden feelings there. The others cannot know about us Thomas but I will certainly allow them all to see this! Unashamedly open about his attraction to his director! That was what made Thomas’s blood boil.
He was not oft the jealous type. Too wrapped up in multiple fantasies and people to feel the need, he could be jealous or he could focus that energy into the next person to come along. Although seeing his dear Alison fawn over this fake Byron had irked him slightly he still was not particularly jealous, Michael had enough for the both of them. However, for some reason he could not place The Captain had made him see green.
He was sure The Captain was well aware of his feelings which made it worse! Knowing Thomas liked him but he was happy to brush him aside for this living man. Thomas’s feelings pushed aside for the director with power. Ignoring Thomas in favour for impressing a man who couldn’t even see or hear him! Has had never thought that Captain could stoop that low but he clearly could- others emotions and feelings were secondary to his own and Thomas was grateful he had found that out now rather than a decade or so down the line.
All he wanted was someone to listen to him. The Captain was usually so patient with him and was happy to listen to his life’s melodramas but when he need it most he was pushed aside and seen as hysteric. His house was being used to glorify the man that had murdered him and not one of them cared! The Captain had shouted at him and told him to stand aside, he knew the machines they were using wouldn’t pick him up, so there was no need for him to stand aside, to move! It was The Captain’s way of telling him to go away, to leave his sight.
‘Stand aside, Thorne’
Of what, Captain? The filming or your director! Stand Aside and let you fawn over this man who can’t even see you, who could never admire you back in the same way! Who’s only appeal to you is his power and status. Who is in command, something Thomas could never be.
Damn it all. At least Alison could see him even if she didn’t return the affections
During this mental rant Thomas had felt heat prick in the corners of his eyes, not wanting to be seen he dipped back under the waters’ surface, allowing his tears to escape once he was under.
This was all so unfair. He had never been the jealous type but here he was, being exactly that. The Captain had moved his affections faster than Thomas moved his and it had hit him hard. Why must he effect him so. There was months of this to come and Thomas wasn’t sure if he could cope.
Resurfacing he looked back in the direction of the house. Still no one. The sun was setting and he was sure they would have finished for the day so why had no one come to find him. Even The Captain who, even without added affection, was usually ‘no man left behind’ hadn’t bothered. He felt his heart tighten in his chest and he gasped as more tears threatened to spill. So much for the others caring. So much for The Captain caring, he really had been swept aside.
If he was a braver man he’d leave now to confront The Captain. Storm back into Button House with purpose and corner him; calling him out on his hypocrisy and perhaps even offering a confession to admiration and affection. But, no, The Captain didn’t deserve that, didn’t deserve his time or his breath. He had shown his hand and Thomas was not about to show his. Jealousy was an ugly colour and he refused to stoop to that level. Refused to let the green cloud his judgment and cause him to make an even bigger fool of himself. He had time to work on his plan against Adam, filming did take a while.
He’d regain The Captain’s attention another way. As much as jealousy was ugly it also caused a lot of brilliant ideas and feelings, feelings Thomas was more than willing to act upon and if that meant outing himself and The Captain to the others then so be it. He had waited over a century for someone to come along and he was not about to have that ruined.
He seemed to have a new lease of life at this new plan and he was about to start phase one.
Wait for someone to feel bad enough to talk him out of the lake.
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