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***
"Kuhahaha~~~ tell me, little Hakuryuu, how does it feel to live like a dog?"
Hakuryuu stiffens as a lean man, whom he wishes he can claim as a stranger, crowds his personal space rudely and backs him against a filthy alley wall. Their hips are separated by a scant distance, but Hakuryuu knows that there's a couple of guns and daggers hidden on the other's loose pants, the other probably even has his weapons serving as a makeshift belt to make sure his pants don't dip down too obscenely. There's no escape from this man, at least, not until he satisfies the other's curiosity and ill nature. He prays for strength to endure the manic presence, along with a hope that he'll get out of this encounter with all of his remaining limbs intact.
"It is what it is," Hakuryuu grits out in what he hopes passes for a neutral voice.
The other's taunting grin stretches further—so no, it didn't work.
Hakuryuu doesn't dare close his eyes, not when pressed against one of the most dangerous man in the whole world. He feels his eyes sting – he's not going to cry, he's not, he's not, he's not… – as he laments the fact that he could have been part of the most respected and feared group, not just in the underworld and the black markets, but also in the normal people's society. His fists shake in barely-repressed anger as he's reminded yet again of the witch who he unfortunately shares blood with.
"It can't be too fun," the man muses and peers at him with blood-red eyes, as though he's really curious about what it's like to be thrown off the throne he rightfully owns, to be forced to abandon his pride and self-worth so he can grovel for a chance to live like an abandoned toy, to live through each day knowing that this cruel fate has been brought to him by another person just like him, with a hundredfold more power and evil intent. "Come on, don't be so cold, Hakuryuu~"
Hakuryuu tries not to flinch when the other's ice-cold hands wrap around his neck, collaring him, reminding him of his place in this world. He idly wonders if his sister will even be informed if he perishes today, at the hands of the person who was designated as his personal bodyguard all those years ago, when he was still the heir to the world's largest, oldest and most powerful mafia dynasty. The person who was supposed to be his right-hand man and blade against the world is currently about to choke him to death – he would laugh at the irony, but he's used to being dealt that kind of fate, since nothing can ever top the fact that it's his own mother who has orchestrated the fall of their family so she can reign supreme instead.
"I don't intend to associate with someone who's a pawn of that woman."
The hands around his neck tighten the slightest bit. Hakuryuu swallows, feeling his throat protest against the pressure.
The other scoffs at him, pressing closer, much closer, until their foreheads are pressed together and their noses bump against each other and their lips are a breath's width apart. Hakuryuu feels his mouth go dry at the proximity. Against his will, he remembers the days from many years ago, when he's too naïve into thinking that the other was a good friend who always held his hand wherever they went, who always hugged him close whenever lightning struck overhead, who always kissed his cheeks whenever he wounded himself from training.
"But you're just the same, right?"
Hakuryuu's forcing himself to remain calm against this assault, but—
"YOU'RE WRONG!"
Hakuryuu tries to shove the other off him, but his opponent isn't a special-class soldier for show – Hakuryuu seethes and snarls as the other shoves him back roughly against the dirty alley wall. It has started raining in the middle of their coincidental confrontation – coincidental, if only because he doesn't think the other shows enough interest in weaklings like him to follow him into dimly-lit alleyways – and Hakuryuu groans in pain, raindrops joining the tears that have escaped his eyes.
"Pfft, you're doing your best to oppose your mother, but this hatred and this revenge is allllll her doing to manipulate you." Hakuryuu meets the other's glare dead-on, even if he really wishes to avert his eyes. It's been too long since they've encountered each other and he's remembering all the useless memories that have happened between them. He isn't a child anymore though, so he now knows that the other's really just a pawn planted by his mother to keep a close eye on him during his youth, just like he now knows that the other doesn't possess a shred of kindness or decency in his body. "Even your enjoyable adventure in living like a mutt is controlled by her."
"SHUT UP!"
Hakuryuu half-chokes on his words, but he's successful in finally shoving the other off his person, even if it's just a few centimeters away.
Unfazed, those crimson eyes just look back at him with a twisted sort of emotion that Hakuryuu refuses to consider 'affection'. "Even so, I've got my faith in you, y'know? You're getting stronger and stronger each day. I can't wait to—"
The other's words are interrupted with a faint whirr – the vibration of the other's cellphone, Hakuryuu realizes dimly as the other scowls and retrieves his phone from his baggy pants. Hakuryuu's sigh of relief is lodged in his throat as he convinces himself that he's not flattered or flustered at all by the other's praise – the other used to call him amazing and strong before, all the while claiming that he's fit to be the lord over all of the underworld, but those were all lies from that pawn who's now at the top of the family along with his wretched mother. Hakuryuu's not disappointed that the other's words were cut-off, because he's not curious to know about the other's thoughts. Those times were long gone.
The other simply places his phone against his ear, his left hand picking at his other ear in a show of boredom. Hakuryuu hates himself for knowing this tic – this is what the other does whenever he's tense and he wants to instead appear cool and unaffected. Hakuryuu doesn't hear the words from the other end of the line, but it's more than likely someone from the organization giving the other's next set of instructions, next batch of people to kill, next group of lives to destroy.
The call doesn't last for more than a minute, but the other's demeanor changes, playfulness all wiped off the other's face. Hakuryuu shivers – if only for the cold sheet of rainwater on his back – at the other's serious gaze.
"I know you're all gung-ho about hating and killing your mother right now, but that's not gonna get you far, Hakuryuu…" The other closes the gap between them again, this time, not needing a chokehold to force Hakuryuu back and have him remain that way. The fact that his lips are touching Hakuryuu's left earlobe is enough incentive for Hakuryuu to stay stock-still as the other's whispers wash through him. "…But if, if you finally decide to hate your destiny, I'll take you by the arm."
And just as abruptly as he had appeared, the other backs off and saunters away, leaving Hakuryuu again after his entire self is rattled.
Hakuryuu raises a hand to touch his ear, knowing that the other's touch will burn for days.
He doesn't even attempt to convince himself that not even five minutes later, he's already missing Judar's touch.
***
Hakuryuu shouldn't be here.
Despite the impropriety of the situation, he looks around still, re-familiarizing himself with an apartment that he has been to a couple of times years before. The passage of time hasn't done much to the room: it's still messy, still devoid of decors, still sparse with furniture, still stinks with the sweet smell of peaches. It's almost as though Hakuryuu has been transported to ten years ago, when he still thought that he was privileged to be chosen by the other brat to hang out with him in his 'secret base'.
Hakuryuu's chest throbs at the thought, though upon looking down, he determines that it's just the gaping wound. He admittedly isn't expecting that many guards on his way back from his successful round at bombing one of the organization's supply warehouses. This type of injury is more than worth it if he can make progress towards thwarting Gyokuen and flinging her off from her undeserved throne.
"Mou, you should let me know if you're planning on being stupid so I can watch first-hand."
Hakuryuu rolls his eyes despite the pain from all over his body. It's just like Judar to whine at missing out on what he considers his entertainment.
"Forgive me for depriving you of your sad choice of entertainment then."
"Not forgiven," Judar responds, ignoring the sarcasm. He makes a show of flopping down to the king-sized bed beside Hakuryuu, who's bleeding all over the place.
Hakuryuu stops feeling guilty about dirtying the other's bed – he knows that Judar's laziness knows no bounds, so he's the sort who'll practically live on his bed – and instead frowns as he spots the roll of bandages in Judar's hands. There's a first-aid kit beside Judar and Hakuryuu frowns deeper.
"You're doing first-aid?"
"Geez, I know how to do it, stop being so skeptical, Hakuryuu~"
Hakuryuu's not quite sure how to bring up the fact that the two of them haven't seen each other for ten years until their meeting last week, from which they parted on not-so-good terms. Surely, that kind of interaction didn't lead to this kind of easy banter? Judar's not the type who'll follow society's conventions, but even he should have enough common sense to know that he shouldn't be treating Hakuryuu as though that incident didn't happen all those years ago, as though the two of them aren't on different sides despite technically belonging to the same family.
Deep in thought as he is, Hakuryuu notices too late that Judar has already torn his shirt apart, exposing his bloodied chest and stomach to the room's cool airconditioning. Hakuryuu flushes a little bit underneath Judar's scrutinizing eyes, fighting the urge to cover himself, as well as urge to run away because the last time he saw Judar hold bandages, he has wrapped him in them from head to toe, in a poor imitation of a mummy.
"Hmph, you just had to go and get yourself ambushed by that hag's subordinates huh?" Judar hums a little as he basically pours disinfectant all over Hakuryuu's torso. Hakuryuu flinches automatically from the sting, but he refuses to let his discomfort be too obvious, because same side or not, Judar's a sadist who will cause more pain if it yields interesting reactions.
"Trust me, it wasn't on purpose."
"I would hope so." Judar continues humming as he starts wiping off the excess disinfectant and blood, hands unexpectedly gentle. "I'd like to think that my choice for king isn't that stupid."
Hakuryuu shivers unwillingly at the other's words. While it's true that he does think he's gotten stronger compared to before – thanks to the opportunity provided by his newfound acquaintances – Hakuryuu's realistic enough to know that he would need something more in order to match and eventually surpass the level of Judar and the witch. Hakuryuu's eyes search at Judar's face, looking for traces of deceit and finds only idle curiosity and a strange neediness.
"Someone stupid fits you," Hakuryuu breathes out softly, reaching up with his less-injured hand to flick Judar's forehead in a motion reminiscent of when they were kids. Judar's bed underneath his back is too comfortable and he curses Judar for giving him some sleep-inducing painkillers on their way from Hakuryuu's little terrorist attack.
Judar chuckles a little at his words, before replying just as breathlessly, words lulling Hakuryuu to sleep: "Don't call yourself stupid, Hakuryuu, only I get to do that."
***
"…Why won't you understand, sister?"
"Hakuryuu, this family, this organization, this entire world is one."
Hakuei doesn't quite meet his eyes as she says these words – these very troubling, familiar words – to him.
He comes home from another successful skirmish against the organization's guards on one of the deals they're making with another country's military. Since Hakuryuu didn't have any powerful allies who can lend him getaway trucks and storehouses, he had to settle for blowing up the weapons that were traded, instead of hoarding them to boost his own firepower.
But that's more than fine.
He's not interested in obtaining power for the sake of getting stronger – he only wants to be able to exact his revenge and remove that woman from the head of the family. He's alright with anyone else decent who can take the throne in her stead.
The truth is very easy to see – as the organization didn't even try to disguise their blatant involvement in their usurping of the throne away from his father – and yet here his sister is, asking him to ignore the past and work hand-in-hand with the very people that have introduced chaos in this world.
"But that woman—"
"—our mother," Hakuei cuts in, stressing that woman's relationship with them, "is the current head of the family. Lord Kouen is working to unify the world. Our family is one, Hakuryuu."
Hakuryuu feels his insides swirl with anger at the veil that's been placed upon his sister's eyes. "Sister, I have obtained enough power to protect you, I—"
"I'm sorry, Hakuryuu."
His sister is already starting to turn her back against him, signaling the end of this conversation. Hakuryuu won't put it against that witch if she had spies planted around their humble abode, maybe she even had security cameras installed to observe her two rebellious offspring. Hakuryuu looks on in despair, wondering since when was it that he had managed to walk side-by-side with his sister, instead of being left behind, bleeding into their living room rug.
"Please give me more time."
Hakuryuu wonders since when was it that his sister had started to lie to him.
***
"Geez, I already told you that I want to watch you flail around and be stupid, Hakuryuu."
"Shut up," Hakuryuu mutters irritably as he does his best to stop the bleeding from his chest.
He isn't counting on seeing the other make a nuisance of himself today, but truth be told, he's not surprised to see Judar here, strolling in casually as though there's no ongoing manhunt for the insolent person who dared disrupt a huge trade between their family and an underground drug smuggling ring. It's not exactly trust – but he does know Judar and his penchant for chaotic situations that can bring him prime-level entertainment.
"I also told you beforehand that your current level of power isn't enough, hmm?" It's too surreal to listen to Judar fussing about anyone other than himself, so Hakuryuu tries his very best to not let the other's words and actions affect him. It's easier said than done, since Judar is apparently prepared enough to bring a medical kit with him this time, hands already pushing away Hakuryuu's so he can take care of the bandages instead. "And yet here you are, going in and getting your ass kicked."
"I fulfilled my objective for today."
"Who cares about a drug smuggling ring?" Judar raises an eyebrow at him, disapproving. Hakuryuu doesn't want to comprehend the other's dissatisfaction with his methods – because that will mean that he'll have to acknowledge that there's more than just idle interest on Judar's side, and that will in turn mean that Hakuryuu will have to address this strange thing budding between them. "It's not like all this little terrorisms you're doing are really affecting that hag, y'know?"
"Shut up."
Judar doesn't have to say that out loud. Hakuryuu knows that he's going through this rather ineffectively and inefficiently, but he refuses to use Judar's help like the other has been hinting for the past couple of weeks now. Trysts like this aside, Judar is still at the core of the organization, which means that he's one of the witch's pawns. Hakuryuu would rather kill himself than to obtain power the same way that his cousins have – by abandoning their pride and surrendering their way of life so they can offer their utmost loyalty to the organization.
"Tsk, you're testy today," Judar offhandedly comments, even as he continues to clean up Hakuryuu's wounds.
There are rounds of gunshots outside, but this world just between them is surprisingly peaceful.
"Now, all done~" Judar chirps after five minutes, hands running all over Hakuryuu's body, in an effort to determine if he's hiding some more injuries from him. Hakuryuu tries not to cringe or shiver at the other's touches, urging himself to remember all the times that he saw Judar slaughter his enemies, instead of recalling the times when they had held hands as they had explored the many mansions owned by Hakuryuu's family.
"Aw, come on, stop looking so glum, Hakuryuu~" Judar sounds so childishly dismayed that it's almost funny. "I don't wanna do this because you still won't come to my side, but tell you what, I'll kill all those geezers running around outside so you can just rest easy here, okay?"
Hakuryuu doesn't plan on staying here – there's always the possibility that this is just one big trap, even if said possibility is highly improbable because subtlety is far from Judar's strengths – but having someone take care of the soldiers searching for the intruder is going to make his escape easier. As noisy and needy Judar is, he's probably already used to being ignored by Hakuryuu, because he doesn't wait for his response to his offer to instigate a bloody massacre on his behalf.
"Alright!!! I'll be back, Hakuryuu~"
Hakuryuu sort of wants to see Judar's expression once he returns to this out-of-the-way hiding place and finds Hakuryuu gone.
But he only feels that for a moment, so once Judar's back is out of his sight, Hakuryuu makes his way back to the apartment he's sharing with his sister.
***
"You should throw this violent anger away, Hakuryuu."
"I need more time, Hakuryuu."
"I'm sorry, Hakuryuu."
Hakuryuu wonders since when was it that his path has diverged from everyone else's.
***
"Why are you even bothering with me?"
Hakuryuu doesn't fully understand why someone with great power and high rank and a one-track mind is interested in someone like him. It's not like he's made it a secret that he finds the other's company irritating and his affiliation disgusting—so why?
But Judar only smiles furtively, eyes promising to let him in on the secret if he just gives in.
"…Because you're the only one with the exact same thing as me."
Hakuryuu wonders if that's really the truth.
***
"…Sister."
But even his presence isn't enough to tear the two apart.
He balls his hands into fists as he witnesses the situation in front of him: his sister swallowed alive by that man's words, machinations and manipulations. So this is why his sister has been parroting Kouen's words to him, preaching Kouen's hypocritical ideals on how to handle this world. So this is why his sister is adamant in not participating in any action that can anger the family head. So this is why his sister has left him alone in his path.
Hakuryuu leaves his house as quietly as he has arrived.
The kissing couple doesn't pay him any mind.
Hakuryuu wonders if this is the end.
***
Hakuryuu lets his feet lead him back to the hideout that Judar has been using ever since childhood years. He's moving mostly on auto-pilot, because his mind is still stuck on the fact that fate has dealt him yet another cruel hand – taking his status, his family, his peace, his sister, his choice away from him.
He raises his prosthetic left hand to knock on the other's door, but before he can even make contact with the deep red door, a voice rings out in the empty hallway: "The world has rejected the both of us, Hakuryuu."
Hakuryuu doesn't even need to turn around to know who it is. Embarrassingly enough, he knows the other's voice well enough to know it's him.
"We keep on struggling, against our fate, but we lose time and time again. Nobody listens to us. Nobody helps us. Nobody but us experiences this cruelty from this world."
Judar's voice is getting rougher and rougher, louder and louder. Judar's steps barely make a sound against the floor, as he approaches Hakuryuu, until they're close enough to press Hakuryuu against the door, until they're close enough for Hakuryuu to feel the other's chest on his back, until they're close enough for Judar to whisper directly to Hakuryuu's left ear as he presses his left hand heavily on Hakuryuu's left shoulder, until they're close enough for Judar to easily settle his right hand over Hakuryuu's thudding heart, until they're close enough for this oddly possessive embrace.
"If so, why not just destroy this kind of world and remake it anew?"
Judar's hand palms through his chest, kneading the knotted skin right above his heart, feeling for his pulse right above the scars that has riddled his entire body after Gyokuen's heartless siege upon their family home ten years ago. The possessiveness in the other's touch shouldn't comfort him, but it does. There's nobody else who will understand the way that he's been thrown around for other people to trample upon, just like there's nobody else has ever looked at him and saw something special instead of something pitiable. There's nobody else who can hear his screams against this illogical world.
"So? What do you say, Hakuryuu? How would you like to live your life from today onwards?"
Hakuryuu leans back and presses his weight against Judar's body, feels the other's pounding heartbeat in sync with his own.
"Well? Answer me, Hakuryuu!"
A smile graces Hakuryuu's face, twisted and exhilarated at this turn of events.
"Don't yell, Judar." It's not like Hakuryuu doesn't understand, can't feel the way excitement and happiness is practically rolling off Judar in waves. "The answer should be obvious."
Judar's hand tightens, holding him so close that there's practically nothing in-between them.
"You finally came to my side, Hakuryuu!" Judar's body is humming with energy. Hakuryuu's smile widens a little bit at the other's obvious pleasure at finally having an ally – someone that he's been trying to convince for a very long time. "It's boring to fight all alone, so I'll make you the king of the world! Let's fight together!"
"I just want to kill Gyokuen," Hakuryuu muses as he tilts his head back so that it's resting against Judar's left shoulder, his eyes looking at Judar for the first time today and sees an indescribably happy young man instead of a monster who slaughters in the name of boredom, "but if I have to be the king of the world as part of that goal, then I don't mind. I'll follow your lead."
Judar's grin is blinding in its exuberance.
"Awesome! Let's go, then! We have a lot to do!"
Judar's right hand leaves its place from Hakuryuu's heart and unlocks the door to his hidden apartment.
Hakuryuu is practically dragged inside Judar's messy apartment, but he lets himself be dragged willingly.
Hakuryuu wonders if this is part of his destiny too, to end up with Judar.
(Then he decides that he really doesn't care.)
***
(the end? / to be continued?)