Work Text:
Shiro took a deep breath, his hands gripping the steering wheel of the car tightly, a sweat breaking out down his neck and entire back. Glancing up, he checked to see if the bags for the road trip he planned on setting out on for the summer. His dark eyes blinked, seeing a small figure sitting in the middle seat. He took a deep breath, recognizing a younger version of himself aged somewhere between six to eight years. His mouth opened, his hands twisting slightly on the steering wheel.
“Are we going to have fun?” Little Shiro said.
“What?”
“You know. Like last summer?”
“Last summer?”
…
“What’s wrong?”
Shiro’s head darted up from looking at the letter he’d received in the mail, bile rising at his throat. He opened his mouth, his eyes glued on Adam, unsure of how to broach the contents of the letter with his boyfriend.
“Come on Shiro.”
“I just got news that my father’s dead.”
“Your father?” Adam sat at the table across from Shiro, his eyes filled with worry. “Do you want me to go to the funeral with you?”
“I’m not sure I want to go.”
…
“Well, of course not,” an angry voice piped up from next to him. Shiro turned his head, seeing a preteen version of himself – a version around Keith’s age, but just as angry as Keith now was. “Afterall, he abandoned us. That’s why we didn’t go to the funeral.”
Shiro took a deep breath, the guilt of not going eating away. He turned his head, so he looked forward, waiting – waiting for someone other than his own thoughts to show up. His fingers tapped the steering wheel when another voice piped up from the back seat – a voice other than Little Shiro’s voice. He looked up and saw another version of himself, one with slightly greying hair. The dark eyes looked at him accusingly.
“Well, you’ve got a good reason to feel guilty.”
Shiro swallowed, knowing what the other him meant by those words.
…
“Why didn’t you show up at the funeral?”
“I didn’t realize I was obligated to do so, sir.” Shiro found himself glaring at Iverson, glaring at the man while standing in his office. Normally, he respected his commanding officers, yet when it came to his father – he purposefully made the decision on his own. His hand clenched while he looked the man in the eye. Adam stood next to him, almost as if their commanding officer expected him to possibly talk some sense into Shiro regarding the matter.
“He was your father. I would think…”
“That I’d have some kind of regret from not going?” Shiro felt his mouth tighten around the top of his mouth and his tongue, his body physically trying hard not to start yelling at the man. “You of all people are aware of the fact my father abandoned me – our entire family, aren’t you? So why would you…”
Iverson let out a sigh, tossing a file onto his desk, glaring at Shiro the entire time. “If you’d have actually gone to the funeral you would have found out about this.”
Shiro glared at the file, not wanting to touch the vile thing knowing full well without looking at the file that the information involved his father somehow. “I don’t want to hear about how he’s a hero and died doing his job if that’s what you’re going at by showing me his personal file.”
“This has nothing to do with your father’s job-fighting fires here at the garrison.”
Shiro felt a shudder run down his spine, his eyes drifting over to Adam. Adam attempted some form of half-smile in an attempt to show his support, yet reached for the file deciding to play the role of negotiator even though he didn’t need to – in fact, at that moment Shiro wished Adam would simply side with him, yet in the back of his mind, he knew the reason he loved Adam so much was for that very reason.
Adam carefully flipped through whatever Iverson wanted him to look at. Something in the file made his eyes widen. “Oh.”
“Oh. What…”
The look on Adam’s face – Shiro watched the way Adam’s mouth twist, the way his eyes reflected something bothered him. He looked Shiro right in the eye. “This doesn’t have to do with your father.”
“Then what?”
“Your brother.”
…
“It’s not as if he’s our responsibility.”
Shiro looked up nervously. Another Shiro, not with as much grey as the other one sat on the opposite side of little Shiro, yet the look in his eyes said everything. Irresponsible Shiro of course took disgust at the idea of taking care of a younger brother, of having his freedom ripped away simply because their father – his father, couldn’t get his act together.
“It’s honestly not fair,” Angry Shiro piped up form the front seat, making Shiro turn his head so he might look at the version which was around the same age as Keith. “He got to spend all that time with him when we didn’t. He abandoned us to go off and make a new family.”
“And how’s that Keith’s fault?” Wise Shiro piped up from the back. Shiro shifted his gaze again, but found Little Shiro following the conversation as well, his interest obviously perked up.
“And how do you propose we take care of a child we know nothing about,” the one Shiro called Irresponsible Shiro piped up.
…
“So, how do you expect to take care of a kid you know nothing about?”
“I’m not even sure…” Shiro stopped speaking, finding himself unable to look his significant other in the eye. In the back of his mind, he felt awful – majorly so, for contemplating not taking in his kid brother, this kid his commanding officer told him about. “I’m not sure.”
“Well, I’m not sure either.”
“What?” Shiro looked up at Adam, starting to panic, unsure of what Adam wasn’t sure of.
“If you’re ready to act as a parent to some kid. That’s what you’re worried about, isn’t it? That or the kid will reject you upon meeting you?”
“What?”
“Seriously, I know you. It makes sense that you’d doubt yourself. Actually, I think anybody, including a genius from the garrison, would doubt themselves on something like this. You don’t want to mess up, but I also think – it’s not something you have to be perfect at.”
“Still, I don’t want to get his hopes up but want to know more about him.”
…
“You certainly picked a great way of getting to know him, given the fact he stole your car,” Angry Shiro in the front said. Turning his head, Shiro looked Angry Shiro in the eye, completely relating to what he saw in Keith that day, although he knew that Angry Shiro was right in saying he’d picked a really bad way of getting to know Keith.
…
“You did what?” Adam looked at Shiro in surprise from where he sat on the couch. “No, more aptly, he did what again?”
“He stole my car.”
“Seriously…” Adam shook his head at his significant other, obviously not pleased with the situation.
“Actually, it was the garrison vehicle,” Shiro found himself admitting, almost feeling a bit amused by the situation, not realizing he’d even started smiling.
“You’re the one who got the great idea of volunteering to go into his middle school and let the students know about the high school program for the garrison, need I remind you.” Adam pointed a finger at him. “And stop smiling. Your younger brother might have gotten seriously hurt.”
“I…” Shiro swallowed, glancing away. “Sorry.”
“He’s the one who you should be apologizing to.”
“I told him to enroll in the program.”
“Shiro…”
“Yes.”
“That’s not taking care of him.”
“I know. I’ve got to…” Shiro took a deep breath, knowing he would need to fight for his legal rights to be Keith’s legal guardian. His eyes closed. “I saw a lot of myself in him, you know.”
…
“Honestly, you’re one to talk,” Shiro finally spoke. “I mean, you did some pretty dumb things at that age, even dumber because you were just as angry as him, so don’t you think maybe just maybe you’re the right person to help him out?”
Angry Shiro blinked. “I…”
“You know he’s right,” Wise Shiro from the back spoke up.
Shiro glanced up at the old man version of himself and saw Little Shiro still looking on, not understanding the situation at all while Irresponsible Shiro rolled his eyes. “Still, don’t you think taking the kid in will ruin your love life.”
Shiro turned his head letting out a sigh, noticing Angry Shiro was gone, yet Irresponsible Shiro's words did reflect one of his many worries regarding raising his younger brother.
The same Shiro piped up again, saying, “And there’s still the matter of acting as a single parent to one’s younger sibling. There’s no way you could succeed.”
…
“I don’t know if I can do it.” Shiro let out a sigh, staring into a bowl of soup Adam prepared for him. He’d found himself thinking about the whole matter for some time, yet the answer he kept coming to was he’d fail miserably at attempting to raise his younger brother for whom he was a complete stranger. He stirred the soup with his spoon, glancing out the window at the setting summer sun.
“I think you can,” Adam said.
“Yeah, but I’ll have to prioritize Keith over…” Shiro swallowed, unable to look Adam in the eye, not wanting to tell his significant other that he felt as if he would need to prioritize Keith over his relationship with Adam. “I’ll be moving out.”
“Wait.”
“Come on. I can’t push all of this onto you, and I need to do this, I think, I mean, Keith has nobody if I don’t and I can’t abandon him as dad did me. I just…”
“I want to do it.”
Shiro’s head darted up, his eyes focused on Adam. “What?”
“I want to do it,” Adam repeated. He then added. “I seriously want to do this with you, to help you raise Keith, but if you think I wouldn’t stick around after dealing with your PTSD…”
“That’s another reason maybe I shouldn’t…”
“And don’t let that get in the way of you doing what you feel is right. You’re in a healthy place now, but you’re his older brother. Plus, I think this will do you good. It will be good for both of us, and it will be good for him to have a good home life. Plus, I’ll also help you fight to get custody of him, no matter how much time it takes. We’ll make it happen, for his sake.”
…
Shiro let out a deep breath before looking again at the back seat. “I’ve got Adam to support me in this.” Irresponsible Shiro was no longer there.
“So you’ve got this,” Responsible and Wise Shiro who Shiro definitely hoped he might be in the future said before fading.
Little Shiro remained. “We’re going to have fun?”
“I hope so.”
A knock on the passenger side door made Shiro nearly jump out of his skin. Looking up, he saw Adam smile at him and he rolled down the window. “We’re ready to go, although we may want to pick Keith up a few things. I’ll explain later.” Adam would later explain Keith’s bag held everything he owned, which in turn wasn’t very much. He instead opened the door and slid in, before turning his head. “You can get in Keith.”
Shiro heard the back door open and looked up in the rearview mirror again. Little Shiro was gone, replaced by a very young teen clutching his bag protectively, completely unsure of the two adults in front of him. His eyes were warry, yet Shiro couldn’t blame him, given the fact when he’d shown up to explain the garrison to Keith’s class so he might get an idea of what his younger brother was like, the reason for Keith taking off in the car like he was completely had to do with his teacher saying within earshot she didn’t feel Keith worth the time.
“How are you?”
“Fine.” Keith looked out the door, letting out a sigh.
“So, as I’ve already said, this is going to be a bit different than your other homes,” Adam piped up from the front seat.
“How so? It isn’t as if the two of you are adopting me.”
Of course, Shiro, as Keith’s older brother didn’t have to adopt Keith. He glanced over at Adam, lowering his voice. “I thought you told him.”
“I did. I don’t think it sunk in. We’ll do fine. And, we’re going to try and have fun this summer.” Adam turned, smiling at Keith who – looking up in the rearview mirror was obviously nervous about the planned summer trip to really get to know each other. “It’s also okay if things don’t turn out that way. What matters is we try.”
“Yes,” Shiro smiled. “What matters is we try.”