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“Why did you have to disappear?” Ardyce Holmes took a deep breath, looking out at the ocean in front of her, watching the waves roll in as salty sea air blew in her face, tossing her ink-black locks of hair. A feeling of anxiousness hung over her mind since the summer before when her friend Maru disappeared; in fact, today marked the one-year anniversary of when her friend disappeared.
In the back of Ardyce’s mind, she wondered if the reason the police didn’t find any information regarding Maru’s disappearance lay with the color of Maru’s skin. The fact someone might discriminate in the search for a missing person based on their skin color honestly worried Ardyce, another person of color; she didn’t feel like a priority to the police at all.
Of course, Maru’s mother – whose skin was white with a dusting of red freckles – and her older brother apparently couldn’t sway the police to take the search seriously; when she called to check on how the search for her friend was going, she’d received a complaint that Maru’s mother and brother harassed them enough about the subject in that they made contact with the police almost daily while Maru’s father’s family contacted almost weekly.
As such, she found herself pacing the beach near the small diner she and Maru met up with at least once a year since they graduated from high school, but which they frequented far more often in high school. Her fingers pressed into her arms, her mind swallowing back the frustration she felt along with the fear that whoever took Maru was still out there, for there was no doubt in Ardyce’s mind that Maru wasn’t the type of person to have taken off without letting anyone know.
A silvery glint appeared on the waves, slowly rolling into the shore, bobbing slightly until the object landed on the beach at Arlyce’s feet. Reaching down while the sun continued beating down upon her dark skin, her mind remained focused on that day a year ago – the last day she ever saw her friend. Picking up the bottle, she noticed the latter inside and opened the container up so she might read the letter.
“I’m sorry, but I have to do this.”
Glancing up, almost as if in a blurring whirl of motion, Ardyce found herself staring at her friend, her usual cheerful smile catching her off guard. With one finger she pushed up her glasses like she always did. “It’s nice to see you again.”
“Um, yes.” Ardyce took a deep breath, looking at the person across from her carefully. “But she’s been gone an entire year. Am I really seeing her, in front of me – that’s she’s still alive?”
“Something the matter?”
Arlyce’s eyes blinked, her mouth opening, wanting to point out the fact Maru went missing for an entire year, yet something in her brain told her not to do so. Something didn’t seem quite right about the situation, such as the fact she definitely didn’t remember walking from the beach to the small diner. For some reason in the back of her mind, she suddenly remembered how Maru graduated early – a certified genius two years younger then Arlyce; this didn’t stop the two from becoming fast friends. “Nothing.”
“Oh. Well, you seemed kind of surprised to see me despite the fact we always meet up here every year on this day.”
Arlyce smiled at her friend – the apparent ghost in front of her. “Yes, but you disappeared the year before, only an hour after we met. I was the last person to see you.” Arlyce let out a sigh. “I only have an hour to talk to her. To change the future, to make sure she doesn’t disappear, but how do I tell her? I can’t just say she wrote me a letter telling me that she sent me into the past an entire year without her thinking I seem nuts. How do I stop her from – I don’t know the reason why she disappeared.”
“Anyways,” Maru ran a dark hand through her wiry red hair. “Life is usual back home.”
Arlyce’s mouth twisted slightly, frustrated at not having any clue regarding the reason for Maru’s disappearance. Yet, the way Maru just reacted didn’t match what she said. “Are you sure? Because you aren’t acting like everything is okay back home?”
Maru’s eyes blinked, her hand waving the waitress over so she could order her favorite strawberry pancakes, a smile upon her face. The corner of her mouth twisted slightly. “Oh, well – life being usual back home doesn’t mean it’s okay.”
“Okay. So then the issue must be related to something back in Stardew Valley, right?” Arlyce simply ordered a coffee this time around, wanting to focus on solving what made Maru disappear. “Your job’s going well?”
“Oh, yes. That’s not the problem. Work at the clinic is going well and Harvey is an excellent boss.”
“Then what is?”
“Sebastian and my dad got into one of their arguments again.”
“Your half-brother?” Arlyce let out a sigh. She always imagined Sebastian as looking like Maru’s mother, with red hair and the same dusting of red freckles as Robin. He’d apparently harassed the police as much as Robin did – although, asking about the case of a loved one didn’t at all seemed like harassment; apparently, the person who did something often inserted themselves into the investigation, or tried to.
“Yes. My half-brother.” Maru let out a sigh, glancing away.
“Are you afraid of him?”
“Sebastian?” Maru’s eyes widened, but a smile tried making its way across her face. “No. I’m not afraid of Sebastian. I’m afraid for him.”
“Wait. You think your dad…”
“No.” Maru let out a laugh, looking down at the stack of pancakes in front of her. The conversation certainly was taking a different direction than Arlyce remembered. “I’m starting to…”
“What’s with this change? I remember whenever your brother’s come up in the past that you’ve – well, you’ve never liked him.”
“I don’t hate Sebastian. I really don’t. It’s just…” Maru poked her pancakes with her fork. “He’s just not there. Sure, he’s down there in the basement, which is his room, but he’s not there. I can’t remember a single time he’s acted like an older brother. That kind of thing.”
Arlyce let out a deep breath, her fingers tightening around her cup of coffee while Maru continued eating her strawberry pancakes. The questions she asked definitely didn’t provide any answers regarding what happened to Maru, yet she felt as if she could hear the clock in the small diner ticking away, counting down the time remaining before Maru would finally disappear.
She didn’t bother looking up.
“You said for him though.”
“I don’t know how to put it.” Maru swallowed a bit of pancake rather loudly before taking a drink of her own coffee. “It’s just this feeling. I kind of started paying attention more, or at least as much as possible given the fact Sebastian holes himself up in his room, but something’s not right.”
“She makes it sound as if there’s something wrong – that he’s… dangerous.” Arlyce swallowed.
“No, I know something’s not right, but I can’t tell him I went snooping through his things while he was out of the house.”
“She what? I don’t remember our conversation going in this direction. If it had, I would have related this to the police, right? Or maybe I just didn’t want to remember? Or I’d heard some of these details before. But what did she find? Could it have been something which got her killed?”
“He’s…” Maru let out a sigh, her eyes drifting away, obviously indicating the worry she felt regarding her older brother. “He’s taking medication for mental illness.”
“Oh.” Arlyce found herself frustrated, given the fact – while she likely learned something new, or in the least remembered something she’d forgotten about – she’d not learned anything regarding why Maru disappeared the summer before. Her eyes drifted towards her coffee, knowing full well her friend would disappear forever.
“If I had known…”
“What do you mean if you had known?” The conversation was honestly depressing.
“I’d never attributed his anti-social behavior to mental illness, but if he’d told me – if he’d told us…”
“What?”
“I would have helped.”
“Maybe you still can?”
“Maybe…” A laugh from Maru made Arlyce lookup. “You know what? You’re right. I can change how I interact with my brother, but I should have focused on changing my behavior rather than worrying about him changing. Right? Plus, I’ve not made an effort to get to know him.”
“I thought he didn’t let you get to know him.”
“Well, I still could have made an effort. I mean, I know nothing about this computer programming work he does behind the fact…” A rather amused look appeared on Maru’s face.
“What?”
“He’s smart.”
“Who?”
“Sebastian.”
“How do you know that?”
“My dad says so. I think that’s why he gets so frustrated with Sebastian, but their arguments often involve him complaining that Sebastian doesn’t apply himself.”
“Oh.” Arlyce looked away.
“You seem a bit nervous about me talking about my family.”
“I – no.” Arlyce put a smile on her face. “I’m just so used to you complaining about how your brother – your half-brother – drives you nuts.”
“Yeah, I know. But yeah, my dad sometimes says to Sebastian that he doesn’t understand how he can be doing so little in his life when he’s smarter than me.”
“Wait. Your dad said that? You graduated early from school.”
“Yeah. I don’t even know if my brother actually graduated from high school, or if he’d actually attended college. I just haven’t gotten to know him, you know. But finding that medication – it explains a lot.” Maru continued smiling, although the look on her face indicated she was bothered by the way Arlyce acted.
“I can’t let her know she’s going to disappear. I’ll sound like a nutter, but…”
“You still look like something is bothering you.” Maru looked at her watch, meaning Arlyce was running out of time.
“I – what if you were to suddenly disappear one day.”
“Oh. That kind of question?” Maru nodded her head. “I’d want to make sure Sebastian is taken care of, to be honest, that he knew I cared. I know it’s silly, given the fact – you know, I’ve not really said anything nice regarding him and have only complained about how he’s not acted like an older brother as I wanted, but I really want that connection with him. Weird, huh?”
“No. It’s not.”
“Well, I’ve got to go, or else I won’t take the bus back to Stardew Valley.” Maru stood up, making Arlyce’s chest tighten. She headed for the door and out of sight. Arlyce stood up, turning to tell her friend to stop, that she would soon disappear only to find herself staring out at the beach, no bottle in her hand. Her eyes opened and closed, a gasp escaping her lips. A hand clasped over her hand, her eyes closing as she held back the tears.
Taking a deep breath, she headed into the diner which used to be her and Maru’s meet up spot. Almost nobody frequented the spot, so she was surprised to see a young man there with dark hair and Asian features picking at a pile of pancakes with strawberries. More specifically, the person sat in her and Maru’s spot. Taking a deep breath, she walked over, unsure of how to confront the person.
Sensing her presence, he looked up. “Sorry. Am I…”
“In my usual spot?”
“I’ll move.”
“Wait.” Arlyce closed her eyes. “Don’t.” She held out her hand, knowing she needed to be polite about the whole thing. “My name is Arlyce. Could I possibly sit with you?”
“I. Sure.” The young man continued picking at his pancakes rather dejectedly. She sat down, preparing to order. That’s when he said. “My name’s Sebastian.”
“Wait.” Her eyes closed. “Are you Maru’s older brother?”
He glanced up, as if surprised by what she said. “Maru’s my half-sister. I mean, was.”
Sebastian poked at his food. Obviously, he’d come here because of Maru, but he… Arlyce let out a sigh. “You’re not what I imagined.”
“Not surprised. I never really looked like I belonged.”
“Ah. So that’s one of the issues Maru was worried about. I think. I can’t remember if she really did bring that up, or if this is fate.”
“Are…” Sebastian paused. “A friend of Maru’s?”
“Yeah. We met up here after we graduated.”
“Never did.” Sebastian looked out the window.
“Never did what?”
“Graduated.”
“Oh.” Yet, she remembered Maru saying he was smart.
“That’s one of the things Demetrius used to rag me on. Wish he still did.”
“So, Maru’s parents are still together.”
“Thankfully – and I never thought I’d say this – yes.” Sebastian swallowed. “He always hovered like a mother hen, but now he’s worse than my mother. He’s not my father.”
“You mean he’s not your biological father.”
“That…” Sebastian looked at her, then looked away.
“So.”
“I just wanted to see…” He didn’t finish what he was saying.
“How did you find this place?”
“I looked at her computer schedule hoping to find something, but neither one of them wanted to deal with her computer.” He glanced away. “You. You were the last person to see her?”
“Yes. I think I was. I wish…”
“I’m such an idiot.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I’m her older brother, that’s why.”
“And.”
“I sure as hell didn’t do a good job of it.”
“You blame yourself?”
“Of course, I do. I’m her older brother. It’s my job.” Sebastian let out a sigh. “Never did a good job of that.”
“She disappeared without a trace.”
“Nobody disappears without a trace.” Sebastian looked out a window. “I wish I wasn’t so messed up, but I wish mom and Demetrius weren’t…”
He’d stopped speaking. “Weren’t what.”
“Nothing, just. I wish they didn’t now know how messed up I was because they suddenly want to be so involved in my life. I didn’t want them to know about…”
“Your mental illness?” She watched him turn and look at her, his eyes wide and his jaw-dropping.
“Wait.”
“Sorry. I shouldn’t have…”
“Maru knew?” Sebastian shook his head. “She’s the last one I wanted to know.”
“Because you’re her older brother.”
“Because of that. And she already hated me enough as it was.”
“Maru didn’t hate you.”
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
“Then why did she tell me her concerns about you like she did? She wouldn’t have been worried about you and your mental health if she’d – well, didn’t care.”
“I guess…” Sebastian let out another sigh. “Sorry. I don’t get this social interaction well. Not all. Not like Maru does. Did.” His eyes closed. “I’m seriously messed up in the head, so the idea that people around me aren’t upset with me being messed up is just messed up to me.”
“I honestly don’t have anything to say regarding that, although I do want to say something positive.”
“Maru really…”
“She did care. Even when she complained – really all she wanted was for you to act like an older brother.”
She heard him let out a sound of frustration, watching him look out the window. “As if I could actually give her that.”
“I think she realized before she disappeared that it wasn’t because you didn’t want to be, but you’re being too hard on yourself.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because I wish I could have done something as well last summer, but I miss her as well. Sometimes you don’t know what you’re missing until – well, something happens.”
“Yeah. Thanks.” Sebastian’s mouth twisted into a smile. “Talking about this helps.”
“Yeah. It does.”