Chapter Text
It was rare for Pema and Tenzin to get a moment of peace and quiet these days, between rebuilding the air nation the trouble with the Earth kingdom and of course the children. Pema smiled as she lent her head on her husband's shoulder. Bumi had taken it upon himself to take the children on 'an expedition' (really a camping trip in the meadow) to give them some time to themselves. Tenzin leant down and kissed her gently. Pema was reaching around to grab Tenzin's collar when the sound of an airship broke them apart.
“What? I don’t remember any- Pema we forgot about Lin” Tenzin’s voice became increasingly panicked as he spoke and when he saw Lin emerge from the horizon, he let out a small yelp. Pema would have rolled her eyes if she hadn’t been staring at Lin with a little too much intensity. She was very attractive and there was something about the powerful determined way she walked towards them.
“Hello Lin' Tenzin called out; his voice still slightly too high pitched. Lin raised an eyebrow
“Forgot I was coming did you?”
Tenzin spluttered. “Bumi took the children and with the peace and quiet it’s so easy to lose track of time.” Pema cut in. Lin made a noise of affirmation.
“Is Opal in yet?”
“Not till tomorrow morning. And Bumi and the children are having a ‘night under the stars’ so it’s just us.”
“Oh.” Lin hesitated slightly. “I’m going to go and rest for a moment. It was a long trip.”
As she left, Pema could have sworn she saw a slight flush on Lin’s cheeks. Tenzin let out a sigh and kissed Pema’s forehead. She supposed it was still a bit awkwardness between the three of them, however much things had improved in the last three years. It had been a messy breakup after all. An inevitable one, no parties particularly at fault but no party clear of blame either. She and Tenzin could have handled their relationship better and Lin could certainly have handled the break up better.
Even so, Pema often wondered how much the breakup had hurt Lin. To her knowledge, Lin had had few relationships since then. It could not have been easy particularly considering they had been friends since childhood. Tenzin would always be a part of Lin’s heart
.
Lin had, of course, left her own mark in return. Despite nearly thirteen years passing, Pema could still remember Lin's biting words as she tried to have Pema arrested: “Are you so foolish that you don’t know why he’s really with you?’ Lin had not said anymore but she had not needed to. The whispers followed Pema wherever she went even now. Most of time she had been able to brush them off but coming from Lin was different. Was that what Tenzin had told her? Were those his words that fell from her lips? The idea had wormed its way inside her mind and she had not been able to get it out. The day before their wedding, she had asked him whether he loved her. ‘Of course, I love you Pema' he had said. And she had looked in his eyes, his soft smile and the hand that came down to gently tuck her hair behind her ear and been so full of love for him that those words had been enough.
Enough that was, until nearly year later. Jinora was barely two months old and with her birth the whispers had grown louder Jinora had been born nearly nine months exactly after their wedding and they’d only been together for a year before that...
Tenzin doted on his daughter. Proudly presented her to the world, a new member of the air nation. He did not speak when Pema pointed out that she might not be an airbender. “She will” he repeated over and over again until Pema could no longer bare it.
“Stop saying that!” she had yelled. Tenzin had looked at her in confusion.
“Stop saying what? That she’ll be an air bender. She will I can feel it”
“But what if she isn’t.” Pema had felt a lump rising in her throat.
“What? Are you scared I’ll stop loving her? I’ll love our Jinora whether she’s an airbender or not, it’s just- oh Pema” he had realised what she truly meant. “Pema, I thought you’d gotten over this.”
“Stop talking to me like that!” Tenzin’s tone had meant to be kind and reassuring no doubt, but to her it'd only sounded patronising.
“I’m not a child despite what everyone seems to think. And I’m not naïve. I don’t mind if you don’t love me. I can live with you not loving me. But don’t treat me like some foolish girl you can use to your benefit. And I will not be some brood mare!” It had all spilled out of her and when she was finished, she was breathing heavily, tears ran down her cheeks. Tenzin looked at her open mouthed. Pema had left him like that.
She had sat alone in the gardens, crying and thinking, for nearly three hours.
“May I sit here?” Tenzin had asked when he finally approached her and when she had nodded, he had sat down next to her. “I called my mother,” he told her quietly. “I didn’t know what else to do.”
“I don’t know either.” Pema had murmured. “I’m sorry, it’s just… It’s all anyone says and even Lin said it and I am the only person anybody knows with any air nation blood and I’m young and everything was so quick and-”
“Do you wish we’d waited longer?”
“I don’t know!” She buried her head in her hands and sob had begun to rack her body once more. Tenzin gently placed his hand on her back
“Lin wanted to get under your skin. She was angry and jealous…”
“I know” Pema had said, her voice muffled by her sleeves.
“Lin and I had other problems besides children, you know. We had grown apart. We weren’t a good fit for one another anymore. We argued all the time, about every tiny little thing. It was draining. And it was unhealthy for both of us. And then there was you…”
“Me?”
“I just… I loved spending time with you. We could talk for hours, we had so much in common, it felt so natural being with you. And when you told me how you felt. I knew I felt it too.”
Pema had looked up, eyes still filled with sobs, seen Tenzin’s blurry smile and lent into him.
“They don’t know what is between us. Please don’t forget it my love. I’m sorry if I made it seem like all I cared about was the continuation of the air nation and Jinora being an airbender.” Pema had kissed him then.
“I know. It’s important to you, and I want to support you. But that is not all I am.”
“One day they will see it too.” Tenzin had told her. Sometimes Pema wondered they saw her as anything other than Tenzin’s wife and the mother of the new airbenders. She suspected they didn’t but she found she didn’t much care. She knew who she was. And she had always wanted to be a mother ever since she was a child.
Pema smiled and kissed her husband. “I’m going to go check on Lin,” she told him.
Pema knocked on the door of Lin’s room.
“Come in.” Lin’s voice sounded strained and she looked the least put together Pema had ever seen her.
“Are you ok?” Pema asked.
“Fine. Absolutely fine.” She did not sound fine.
“I’m here if you want to talk…” Pema trailed off trying to find the right words. “I hope things aren’t going to be awkward between us.”
“Awkward? Why would they be awkward? We’re friends, aren’t we?”
“Of course,” Pema gingerly sat down next to Lin. “But that doesn’t erase the past. And there is a lot of history between us. The three of us.”
Pema let Lin contemplate her words and after a moment Lin spoke.
“I think it hurt more that it was you.” Pema nodded but made no sound. She had decided that it was best to let Lin speak uninterrupted. “If it was just some random girl, I could pretend… But I could see the way he looked at you. And I needed someone to blame. You were younger, you were an air acolyte, and despite what everyone said he loved you. You were so easy to hate.”
Pema hummed in agreement. Lin did not make any move to speak again.
“Do you know why I became an air acolyte?” Pema asked. Lin shook her head.
“You know that my grandmother is Ty Lee-”
“Obviously”
“Well we learned later that her great grandmother was an air nomad. When I was a child she was still learning about that part of her heritage, she and Aang would exchange letters on air nomad culture, and everything she learned she told me. It fascinated me. And growing up on Kyoshi Island as well- Kyoshi’s mother was an air nomad, that’s where the fans come from-. I wanted to learn. I wanted to preserve it. I did not become an air nomad with the intention of entrapping Tenzin.”
“I know, Pema. I know that now, I even knew that then however much I didn’t want to admit it. If you want to know how irrational I was I hated you for being Ty Lee’s granddaughter as well.”
Pema laughed and bumped her shoulder against Lin’s. Lin was laughing too and Pema was suddenly acutely aware that Lin’s pinkie was touching her own. She was reminded of evenings laughing and talking with Tenzin. That same feeling bubbled up inside her. She had to go.
“I have to go check on… dinner” she said and quickly left. Once outside, Pema leant against the wall, panting like she had run a marathon. She felt guilty and confused. She heard Tenzin approach and slipped into an alcove. She could not see him right now.
Tenzin, curious as to where is wife had disappeared off too, and in truth rather bored, was now making his way to Lin’s room.
“You two just wont leave me alone,” Lin said as Tenzin knocked and entered.
“Is Pema here?” he asked.
“She just left. In rather a hurry actually. It was a bit odd. Suspicious I’d call it if she was a suspect.”
Pema’s departure had left Lin with a mix of confusing emotions, which was not an experience she was all that fond of. It had been bad enough when she had been visiting air temple island and realised that her heart raced at the sight of the woman. Or when she had woken up with Pema’s name on her lips.
Romantic attraction was rare for Lin. She had felt it all of three times, firstly for her first partner in the force. They had dated for awhile until Lin had been promoted above him and he’d not been able to handle it. Secondly for Tenzin. They had known each other for such a long time but their relationship had been intense. Too intense in hindsight. Too much passion and not enough communication. And finally, and most recently for Pema. A crush on her ex’s wife seemed exactly like the type of cruel trick the universe would play on her.
Lin tried not to think of the feeling of Pema’s finger touching hers just moments before. Or the way Tenzin could still make her feel like she did on their first date so many years ago.
“Are you alright, Lin?” Tenzin asked.
“Really Tenzin, I’m fine. I don’t need you too hovering over me.”
“Well, I’m here if you need me,” he said and left, leaving Lin alone with her thoughts.
She wished she had someone to distract her. She was only supposed to be here for a routine security check up and a routine Opal check up for Su. She wondered if there was enough time to catch a quick nap before dinner. Lin wanted to sleep these feelings off. Unbidden a memory came into her head. She remembered when she and Tenzin had still been together and she had walked into the library to see Tenzin and Pema talking. When Pema had seen her, she had fled red in the face. Tenzin had stared after her with a mixture of sadness, longing and something else. It had been the first time Lin had considered that Tenzin might return Pema’s feelings.
Lin’s mind began to drift to Pema’s face as she had left earlier and the two memories began to merge together. Then she thought of Tenzin and her mind did the same for him. How curious. Lin shook her head. Pema and Tenzin were still very much in love if the scene she had caught as she walked up the hill to the air temple had been anything to go by. But even so…
Lin’s last thought as she fell asleep was that her feelings for Tenzin had never truly vanished either