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“ANNE BOLEYN, I AM ACTUALLY GOING TO KILL YOU!”
Kitty’s yell carried through the house, loud enough that it would have concerned the other Queens had Anne not darted out of the kitchen and into the living room, laughing. Kitty came charging down the stairs a few seconds later, one hand pointing at her cousin and the other clutching one of the stuffed bears Anna had given her as a present...a bear which now had a new pair of googly eyes stuck above his actual eyes.
At the look of annoyance and amusement on her cousin’s face, Anne began to laugh harder. Kitty fought to hide a smile.
“My entire room, are you SERIOUS?! What did I do and when the everloving fu-?!”
“Okay!” Jane cut in, her own smile barely restrained at the two’s antics, “Kitty, watch your language, one of you explain.”
“We had a day off yesterday.” Began Anne, clutching her side and trying to reel in the laughter, “And this one,” she gestured to Kitty, “decided she’d rather hang out with Anna than me.” She held her hands up with a smirk when Jane gave her a glare, “I’m joking, but this is like, the third time in a row that Kit has blown-off chaos time to hang out with her girlfriend, so I decided a tiny bit of payback was in order.” She grinned, and Kitty shook her head, no longer bothering to hide her own amusement at the situation.
“Giving literally everything in my room its own set of googly eyes is ‘tiny?’” She exclaimed, pulling the bear up to her chest and holding it to face Anne, “You’re an actual monster.” She smirked. Anne just grinned.
“I prefer the terms ‘genius’ or ‘gremlin.’”
“You realise this means war, right?”
“Bring it on, Kitty Kat.”
“Please Anna?”
“No.”
“You won’t even look at me to say that!”
“Because if I look at you, I won’t be able to say no.”
Anna smiled to herself as she heard her girlfriend groan next to her. Kitty had been trying to rope her into the prank war for nearly 2 days now. The Beheaded Cousins had pulled a few minor pranks on each other since the “Even the Walls Have Eyes” Prank, as Anne had been calling it, but so far Kitty had been unable to get Anne back in a big way.
Which was why she’d resorted to begging Anna to help her out as the two of them were walking to the dressing rooms.
“Come on, I’m your girlfriend! You’re supposed to be on my side!” They stopped outside of the room, with Kitty grabbing Anna’s arms and pulling the red Queen to face her. Anna laughed at the adorable pout on her face and gave her a chaste kiss.
“Sorry, Liebling but I know your cousin, and if I help you then she’s gonna put me in her crosshair.” Kitty rolled her eyes at the comment as Anna opened the door.
And that was when both of them took a glitter-filled balloon to the face.
Kitty shrieked as the water balloons made contact and burst, covering the two in bright green glitter. Anna immediately started dusting the offending crafting material off of her, but she could already tell that some of it was not going to move.
“Glitter bomb without the explosion. Clever little bitch.” Muttered Kitty before she turned to look at Anna, “You okay? Sorry, I’m pretty sure that was meant for me.” Anna grabbed a post-it note that had been placed on Kitty’s desk and showed it to the pink Queen.
Your move Kitty Kat :) - Anne
“I take it back, I’m in.” Said Anna with a smirk. Kitty kissed her cheek, a smirk of her own beginning to form...
Cathy was the next one to get involved and, frankly, she wasn’t on anyone’s side. Yes, it was pretty funny watching the cousins plus Anna torture each other (and she’d be a massive liar if she said she hadn’t laughed herself stupid when Anne had walked into her room covered in pinky-red slime and wearing an adorably grumpy expression) but the pranks were loud and chaotic and were absolutely starting to eat into her time with Anne.
"Babe, I swear I'll be back in like, 5 minutes tops." Said Anne with a smile, as she kissed the top of Cathy's head one morning. Cathy pouted at her.
"You've been at this for over a week! And you're going to hang out with Maggie tomorrow. Can't I get one day of being clingy with my girlfriend before she goes off to cause chaos?" She gave her best puppy dog eyes and Anne very nearly gave in.
"I swear, I'm just gonna set up the tripwire in Anna's room and then I'm all yours for the day. I promise." She said with a smile, kissing Cathy again before darting from the room. Cathy sighed and rolled her eyes.
Maybe it was time for a little vengeance prank of her own...
"I'm sorry, you want me to do what?" Asked a very confused Joan, and Cathy could almost imagine her face on the other side of the phone.
"I said, when Anne comes over tomorrow, I need you to suggest that she and Maggie watch The Ring, then I need you to change my name in Anne's phone to 'unknown,' and then…"
"You want me to text you when they finish the movie, yeah, no I heard you Cath. My question is why?"
"So I can get her back for abandoning me in favour of the prank war with KatAnna."
Joan pinched the bridge of her nose with a sigh.
"I can feel you judging me."
"Don't you think this is just the tiniest but childish?" Asked Joan, keeping the phone by her ear as she straightened up the pages of show notes that littered her desk. She heard Cathy laugh.
"It's absolutely childish. That's why it's fun!" Joan couldn't help but laugh at that too.
"What's in it for me?"
"Uhh...I'll help you organise the stuff for the next West End Live…?"
"Cathy, I love you but no one else is touching those notes except for me-"
"Oh! And I'll give you first dibs on any baked goods that Bessie brings us!"
"...done, I'll suggest the movie to Mags tonight."
"You're the best Jo!"
Joan laughed as Cathy hung up on her, rolling her eyes slightly.
"What's got you giggling?"
Joan looked over at the door to her room with a fond smile as her girlfriend appeared.
"Just Cathy being Cathy." She said. She shook her head a little before looking back to Maggie, who was pulling on her jacket. "Going somewhere?"
"Anne wants my help getting back at Anna for the slime prank. Two against one didn't really seem fair." Chuckled Maggie, walking over to kiss Joan's cheek.
"You're teaming up with Anne?"
"Best friend duty right?" Maggie laughed at the slightly put-out look on her girlfriend's face, "Don't worry, I'll make sure you don't get caught in the crossfire."
"I appreciate it."
Maggie gave her a bright smile and a chaste kiss before turning to leave the room.
"Oh and Mags?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I recommend The Ring for your movie night with Anne tomorrow? I watched it with Kitty last week and it was great."
"Thanks babe! We were struggling to think of something. Love you!"
"Love you too." Joan smiled as Maggie left, and as soon as she heard the door close, she picked up her phone and called Cathy again.
"Okay, new proposal. You and me vs Anne and Maggie vs Kitty and Anna."
"...I'm listening."
Childish as it may have been, Joan had to admit it was worth it when the next night, immediately after The Ring had ended, both Anne and Maggie received phone calls from 'unknown' numbers that whispered, "Seven days…" and then promptly hung up.
The twin screams that came from the living room, and the laughing fit they sent Joan and Cathy into over their video call, were also totally worth the week Maggie made her spend on the couch.