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Holding Me Close

Summary:

You have a dream about what would have happened if you kept the monkey statue to yourself, and you wake up crying. Your partner is there to comfort you.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

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“And this should be it!” The tall adventurer turned back to you with a smile. After a few hours of spelunking in a cave, you two had finally reached the end. It wasn’t an impressive hall, rather small in fact, but there was a pedestal- just big enough for the small statuette held tightly in your hands. “Why don’t you go ahead and place it down, buddy?” 

Buddy? You snorted a little bit- he hadn’t called you buddy since way back when, before you two officially started working together. You had to admit, it brought back a little nostalgia, hearing the familiar nickname.

You give him a soft smile, moving the statuette towards the pedestal, when your eyes meet crystal, and suddenly you can’t remember what you were supposed to be doing. It’s too quiet.

And all at once, it’s too loud. Screaming and hollering from animals you can’t even see- it echoes in the dark tunnels, and you stumble back a bit, looking around in every direction for some source of the noise.

“Hey, buddy, you- you feeling’ alright?” Illinois’s voice breaks through the screaming, and you try to look back towards him, as he reaches for you. You try to reach for him, but your body pulls you back. “Woah, woah, easy there, tiger. I wasn’t going in for the kiss!” 

You ‘re about to snap back at him- you’d like that, wouldn’t you?- but your mouth doesn’t open. Sound doesn’t come out. Try as hard as you might , you can barely even get a squeak out. The idol in your hands seems to get heavier, dragging you down the harder you try to push it away.

“H-Hey, hey- Look at me, look at me!” With all the strength in your body, you finally turn your gaze towards him. He seems relieved. 

“Do you remember when I told you not to look into the monkey’s eyes?” 

You remember. Your body answers for you though, shaking your head no. He seems almost shocked by that answer.

“O-Oh, okay- Well, I did, and I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to stop looking in the monkey’s eyes...” He gives you a warm, genuine smile this time. 

Again, your head shakes no, and you pull the statuette up again. The crystal monkey’s eyes shine a bright red- you were certain that wasn’t what it looked like before. Everything seemed to echo around you louder. Desperately, you try to scream his name, shout, do anything to get him to notice and knock this fucking statue out of your hands.

“Are you hearing noises, maybe crazy monkey noises?”

You weren’t sure how he noticed- maybe he heard them too? If he did, he was certainly good at playing off like everything was alright.. Another head shake from your body, that didn’t seem to be yours anymore. He sighed, and started to move closer towards you.

“Okay, listen pal, I think you’re not quite feeling like your-“ You’re pushed further away from him. A red ring starts to form around your vision, and you’re absolutely certain that you don’t like where this is going.

“self..”
There’s almost a hint of sadness in his tone, and if you had been able to look into his eyes, maybe you’d have seen it there, too.

“Maybe you’d like to give... me the monkey statue?”

Again, he reaches towards you, towards this curse held tightly in your grasp, and you’re filled with relief. It’s almost over. He’ll just take the statue from you, and all this noise would fade away. He’d tease you, annoy you and make you feel guilty for looking, but you two would head back to camp, and- 

“(Y/N)?”

Your grip tightens. Your eyes lock onto him. Your body is rushing forward, and before you know it, you’re lifting it above your head and-

You wake up with a sob, sitting up in your sleeping bag and burying your face in your hands. You had hoped it would be enough to keep yourself quiet but of course, the world had other plans.

“(Y/N), you doin alright in here?” 
Illinois was standing at the entrance of your tent, with his head poking through the entrance. Quickly, you tried to wipe away the tears before he could see.

“D-Doing just fine, Illy!” you said, forcing a smile.
You could tell he didn’t believe you, and he made his way inside the tent, sitting down across from you. 

“Come on, I knew I was handsome, but I didn’t realize you’d cry over me~”

You knew he was just trying to crack a joke, and cheer you up, but the wording he chose only served to bring the tears back to your eyes, not going unnoticed by him.

“Hey hey hey, don’t cry, don’t cry!!” Illinois scooted forward a little, placing his hands on your shoulders. “C-Come on, it was just a joke, I’m sorry!” 

Even though everything in him was screaming to just back away, that things would be better in the morning, that he shouldn’t try to help- he suddenly moved forward and pulled you into a tight hug.  Finally, finally, you let everything out, clinging to him and sobbing into his shoulder. 

What felt like hours went by, though it was likely only a few minutes, with your adventuring partner just holding you close and rubbing your back soothingly, letting you cry, whispering little words of kindness into your ear. Every “shh, i’ve got you.“ and “you’re gonna be alright, darlin’.” helped calm down the storm of emotions ripping through your head. Eventually, your sobs had turned into small sniffles, and eventually, nothing. 

“You wanna tell me what that was all about?” Illinois finally spoke up, tone soft. 

“B-Bad dream..” You hid your face in his shoulder, thankful he couldn’t see your face. You were certain you looked like a mess- eyes puffy from crying, face red and flushed. You really didn’t feel like getting teased for that right now. He was probably already going to give you hell for crying over something as small as a nightmare-

“Do you wanna... talk about it?” Oh. You hadn’t really expected that. 

You hesitated, but after a minute or so of debating, you told him everything. About the idol possessing your body, about how scared you were, how you tried to call out to him- about how you killed him. Not once did he interrupt, or make fun of you, he just held you. You were thankful for it.

Illinois, on his end, was shocked.

“So, what scared you the most was... hurting me?“ He spoke quietly after a moment. “Not being possessed, not being stranded in a cave, you were worried.... about me??”

He could feel you nod.

“Why?” 

He couldn’t believe he said it. Illinois, handsome adventurer extraordinaire, who didn’t need or want anyone... wanted to know why you cared so much? 

“You... you matter to me, Illinois. You’re my friend, my partner, a-and the thought of hurting you... I can’t bear it! Y-You putting yourself at risk during our adventures is one thing, b-but the thought of me being the one to throw you into harm’s way... I care about you too much to let that happen, I...” You didn’t say anything else. 

You moved to pull yourself out of the hug, figuring you’d taken up enough of his time, but he wouldn’t let you. Instead, he held you tighter, this time burying his face in your shoulder. You could just barely make out his next words.

“No ones ever really cared about me like that before...”

Without another word from either of you, you rubbed his back soothingly, taking in his warmth. And if you noticed your shirt getting a bit damp where his face was hidden, well, you certainly weren’t going to mention it.

Notes:

I hope you enjoyed!! Feel free to request other fanfictions on my tumblr, petrified-teeth!