Chapter Text
His mom’s cheerful knocking announced the morning. “Breakfast!” she chirped with three quick raps on the door. The floorboards creaked as she shuffled down the stairs to the kitchen.
Liam buried his face into the pillow and contemplated his options. He could suck it up and go downstairs, but rolling over and going back to sleep was looking more favorable by the second. He could probably get away with one more day off if he really wanted to, but he’d already missed too many classes and too much homework.
His suspension had officially ended last Friday, anyway.
Mason crawled along the floor, out of his sleeping bag. "You heard your mom. Can't be late for your first day back."
His best friend was already sitting at one end of the kitchen table by the time Liam came down, tapping furiously on his phone. Mason's soggy cereal sat abandoned in front of him so Liam stole a spoonful. Instead of snapping at him to get his own, he looked up and smirked. “Well well, if it isn’t my delinquent best friend. Is lockdown over already?”
"Mason!" Liam's mother snapped. She turned off the stove and glared at him, lips curved down just slightly.
You won’t believe what the kids at school are saying about you," Mason continued, ignoring her. "Can't believe I didn't tell you this earlier. When the fight broke up and Simons dragged you off to the principal’s office, some people thought you’d been expelled. There was even a rumor of you being sent to juvie." He snorted.
"And you’ve been standing up for me, protecting my tarnished image?" Liam’s mouth twitched with a small grin.
"Hell no." his friend grinned. "I’ve been letting them build your badass reputation. You’re a hero, bashing Julian’s face in."
"Don’t encourage him." Liam's mother interrupted, giving him a reproving glance. "You know your violence is not the answer. My son sometimes can’t control his - problem."
Liam’s stomach twisted, the soggy cereal now even less appetizing. He hated that word, his mom’s default term to describe his condition. More than that he hated the painfully sad look on her face. He avoided her guilty gaze and kept his eyes on his food.
"He defended me." Mason shrugged. "I'm grateful." Liam stole a glance to catch his friend's smile.
A tense silence stretched for several minutes. His mom cleared her throat and Liam finally looked at her to see her eyes were strangely misty. “That reminds me. Liam, don't forget to take your medication.”
Liam grunted in thanks and inhaled the rest of Mason’s cereal before bolting upstairs. He slammed and locked the bathroom door, trying to focus. Gripping the edge of the counter, he stared at himself hard in the mirror.
Ten months.
It was only this past May the school suggested professional analysis and the results destroyed his last hope that he was normal. Nobody in his family had known the official meaning of Intermittent Explosive Disorder, or IED, before then. They had just been watching him going through it for years.
What started out as major temper tantrums he never quite grew out of increased in intensity as Liam got older. Pulses of fury lead to violent outbursts that his teachers couldn’t explain so they shoved him off to a doctor that swore Liam’s new medication would ‘fix everything’.
This was the fourth magic solution since then. Forgive him for having doubts. The mood stabilizers had made him feel numb while the anti-anxiety drugs made him twitchy. If he was being fair, Liam would admit that his second prescription had worked the longest. It had lasted through his last month of middle school and his family's move from New Mexico to California in the summer.
Back to the town his mom left after his father's death two years ago. Mom struggled for a while, wanting to stay in the city her husband's job had moved them to. She eventually realized California was better. Liam got his best friend back; Mason welcomed him as if their separation hadn't even happened. Mom got better doctors. Liam got better drugs.
He continued with it when he started Devenford Prep in August, until lacrosse tryouts started the middle of February. Unlike with other sports Liam played, the increased drowsiness and sluggishness on the lacrosse field was unacceptable. So he stopped taking them.
Until then, he had only played lacrosse through club organizations that never even had championship tournaments. Liam had decided that since he wanted to be on a real team now, he needed every advantage he could get.
He was doing a pretty good job of faking it, too. He had made one pill disappear every morning then went to school and acted like the happy little kid his parents and teachers wanted him to be. The kind that didn’t destroy school property after bombing a test. And if he came home late from football - baseball - soccer practice with more bruises than normal, nobody knew. Aside from himself and the older boys he’d provoke into derailing the sport into little more than full-on fighting. It was a good system.
Two weeks ago, Liam was about to start his walk home after practice when he saw Mason. His friend usually caught the bus, so it was unusual to see him still at school so long after it ended. Liam didn't pay much attention at the time, though he was happy to have company for his walk. The way Mason limped and kept glancing around every now and then escaped his attention.
The next day practice had run longer than expected so it wasn't until the day after that Liam saw Mason again. He saw firsthand when Mason was dragged out of the building and around to the dumpsters. The asshole - whose name he later learned was Julian - had time to land one punch before Liam was on him. The full brunt of repressed rage burst out of Liam and onto the guy’s face.
Because Devenford’s school board had a zero-tolerance violence policy and because Liam couldn’t really claim self-defense the district had ‘no choice’ but to suspend him. They ‘understood his motives’ but warned him that he ‘should be grateful’ and that ‘if further infractions occurred, a more severe penalty would take place’.
His mom took it even further, banning him from football and baseball and threatening to do the same for lacrosse. It took a lot of begging from both Liam and mom’s boyfriend - now fiancé, since Todd Geyer had proposed as soon as the three of them moved to California - to keep Liam on the team. The reintroduction of the medication was a necessary compromise.
The only good thing that came from the whole mess was the reaction from mom’s fiancé. He’d promised to train Liam in lacrosse whenever he had time off from the hospital.
Maybe with the extra practice, he’d be good enough to get an edge on the fogginess. Maybe he’d be good enough to make it through second cuts and hell month. If he was really lucky, maybe good enough to make team captain.
"Liam, you’re gonna be late!"
He flinched at his mom’s voice. No doubt she was hovering outside the door, just waiting to swoop in and inspect his pillbox under the green cap labeled ‘Monday’. At least she stopped trying to be subtle about it.
She knocked twice. “Liam?”
Gritting his teeth, he eyed the green box. He dry swallowed one pill quickly before opening the door and pushing past his mother. He heard the faint click of the Monday cap closing as he went downstairs. As he walked out of the house, he pictured the satisfied smile on his mother’s face. His frustration bubbled to the surface briefly and he willed the pill to work faster. Liam clenched his fists, taking longer strides to the end of the street where Mason waited.