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Bokuto always asks if anyone wants to stay a little longer after school to practice some more, and everyone except for Akaashi declines. It’s their ritual now, find each other at the train station every morning to ride to school, then grab a quick breakfast before partaking in the morning practice, then changing and showering before parting ways for school. But they always meet up at lunch, then part ways until practice again. It’s a cycle they don’t want to break just yet.
Even though the end of the school year will permanently change it. Akaashi tries his best to not think about how Bokuto is leaving him. He isn’t but he is.
Bokuto will always be there, but he won’t be in Fukurodani anymore as their captain and ace. He’ll be playing for a different team in a different place with different people. After this year he is no longer Akaashi’s spiker and Akaashi is not his setter.
And after this year Bokuto will have his own apartment, Akaashi knows this because he’s been helping Bokuto look for apartments that are affordable in Tokyo. But he’s going to be far away, there will be no more train rides in the mornings and evenings together, it’ll just be Akaashi on his own. Bokuto on his own somewhere else.
Akaashi wonders if he’ll be replaced if there will be a different Akaashi out there. Maybe with a different name, a different face, but still enough so where he isn’t enough. To where Bokuto has someone just like him to turn to and show off stupid tricks and tell all of his deepest secrets.
Akaashi thinks he’s going to hate whoever the next Akaashi is for Bokuto. Because he doesn’t want to be replaced, he wants to be the one and only. He wants Bokuto to stay with him and only him. Even if he knows it isn’t entirely possible.
He shoves those thoughts aside, right now Bokuto is quiet and staring at him, and with a start, he’s realized he started crying. The thoughts have been worse, probably because graduation is in less than two weeks. He has a week and two days left.
Bokuto reaches out tentatively,” Akaashi? What’s wrong?”
A strained hiccup tears out of him, and he looks up at Bokuto. Straight into golden eyes upon a face, he loves too much for his own good. His mouth opens and he tries to speak but all that comes out is this awful noise that comes with a voice crack, he shuts his mouth.
His voice has failed him, and he doesn’t know how he’s going to talk to Bokuto, he doesn’t know if he can. Instead, he reaches out, tugging at the sleeves of Bokuto’s hoodie, trying to draw him closer to his body. Bokuto complies, looping his arms under Akaashi’s and holding him tight against him.
One of his arms, which is still pressed to Akaashi, comes up to slip fingers through raven locks. Akaashi can’t do much else besides standing on shaking knees and clutch onto Bokuto as tight as he can, hoping he’s there, not an illusion or a figment of his imagination. Or worse yet a dream, waking up to find himself completely alone and Bokuto gone. He can’t bear that if it’s true.
But his tears which are too hot and salty are seeping into Bokuto’s jacket, and his nose is running, head thrumming and ears slightly clogged up from the mucus. Bokuto feels very real pressed against him, warm to the touch, and holding him the right way with fingers in his hair. It isn’t a dream, a hallucination of sorts.
,” I’m right here Akaashi.”
Akaashi sniffles but can’t reply much, although his crying has eased a little, not a whole lot but enough to where he might be able to form words. Small hiccups rush through his body as soon as he thinks that, and so it’s tossed out the window. Bokuto slides his arms down, looping them under Akaashi’s legs and pulling him up, Akaashi follows instinct at this point.
Bokuto has picked him up like this enough for him to know what to do. So his legs wrap around Bokuto’s waist and his arms loop around his neck, burying his face into the crook of Bokuto’s neck, where it meets his shoulder.
He gets carried to the locker room, and Bokuto sets him down on a bench there, kneeling before him,” Akaash, look at me.”
He sniffles again and rubs his eyes, looking at Bokuto still even though his face is slightly blurry. Bokuto grins slightly,” I’m not that smart, but I do know what’s bothering you. At least I think I do. And I know you, so it’s a little bit easier for me to read you.”
Akaashi nods, trusting Bokuto’s words,” You know I’m not actually leaving you right? I want your help in the apartment because I thought, it depends on what you want to do, but I was thinking. When you graduate, you have a place to stay. But if you don’t that’s perfectly fine, I wanted to bring this up later. Anyways, I’m not going anywhere that’s too far.”
Akaashi’s eyes are wider than the moon at this point. But Bokuto plows on,” I’m a one and a half-hour train ride away, I’ll visit as often as I can, and you can visit too! But I’m not leaving you behind, I could never do that. I’m simply a little bit ahead of you in the game of life, but you’re my partner in it. Forever and always, and nothing is going to change that. I chose you, not somebody else.”
In a matter of seconds, Bokuto is yanked onto his feet as Akaashi shoves his mouth onto Bokuto’s. Bokuto makes a noise but returns the kiss, it’s a lot of teeth and awkward tongue on tongue.
They’ve never kissed before, they’ve never mentioned feelings towards each other either. They both pull away after a moment, and Akaashi flushes bright red, but his tears have stopped, and he sniffles a little bit still but that’s better than the sobbing he was doing earlier.
Bokuto grins and starts to press a million kisses to Akaashi’s face, making him giggle and shove Bokuto back a little bit,” Bokuto-San, Bokuto-san, Bo!”
Bokuto pulls away with a breathy laugh,” You like me too!”
Akaashi nods,” Of course I do, I’ve liked you this whole time.”
,” Me too, and we’ve never said anything to each other, this whole time. I could’ve been kissing you, and all the good stuff.”
,” We have eternity to do it still though.”
,” You’re right, hey, wanna do something crazy?”
Akaashi raises an eyebrow,” Everything is crazy when it comes to you.”
,” Let’s go on a date tonight.”
,” Tonight?”
,” Yeah, let’s go and explore. We don’t have to tell our parents, just say we’re going to be home really late, but we’ll be home. We just want to go hang out with friends.”
Akaashi laughs, and Bokuto loves the sound of it, he always has,” Alright fine.”
,” YES!”
Bokuto tugs Akaashi out of the locker room, grabbing his stuff and then yanking him to his house. Akaashi has clothes there, so it doesn’t really matter.
But as they walk he ends up with one of his hands locked with Bokuto’s, the other hand texting his parents he’s staying the night with Bokuto.
Bokuto rambles on and on about anything and everything, Akaashi can’t find it at the bottom of his soul to be annoyed with it. Because Bokuto is Bokuto, and Akaashi loves him for it. He always will, and that’s a given.
They crash into Bokuto’s house, throwing shoes off and shouting they’re home. Bokuto’s sister falls off the couch as they enter, and she shouts,” OI NOT SO LOUD!”
Bokuto just laughs and runs up the stairs with Akaashi in tow, they grab some clothes and change as fast as they can before running back down, and Bokuto shouts,” WE’LL BE HOME LATE TONIGHT!”
His mother peaks her head around the corner,” How late?”
Bokuto has a wild gleam in his eye,” I dunno, but don’t stay up. We’ll be back safe though, promise!”
,” You better, or you’re dead. Both of you.”
They nod and promise dutifully before running out as fast as they can, giggling hysterically along the way.
****
It’s one in the morning and they’re seated at some restaurant, the name Akaashi cannot remember for the life of him. But his bladder is throbbing painfully, but he doesn’t comment on it. He doesn’t need to think about it, and he doesn’t want to think about it.
He’s had a generous amount of liquid today, and he consumed more tonight than usual. So yes, he has to pee, he’s been holding it for quite some time now. But he hates the subject of needing to take a piss, so he’d rather not say. Especially with how Bokuto talks and tells stories in between bites of ramen. He wants to listen to it all, using the bathroom will surely kill the mood.
But another throb and he wonders if he’s going to be able to wait until Bokuto and he is finished with the food. He’s tired, that’s a fact. He’s been playing volleyball all day and the school now this, true there wasn’t much going on at school now that exams were over, and being dealt with.
As soon as Bokuto’s bowl is finished Akaashi slides Bokuto a thousand yen before hurrying off to the bathroom, only to find that it’s locked and out of order. He bites his lip, squirming a little where he stands, Bokuto can’t see him. Bokuto can’t see how he grips his dick with one hand, squeezing lightly before turning on his heel and taking a deep breath before going out again.
Bokuto hands him back the yen and smiles,” Don’t worry about it, it’s my treat. I dragged you on a date, so I get to at least pay.”
Akaashi takes his hand, squeezing it a little,” Thank you. But you didn’t need to.”
,” I wanted to though.”
,” Ah, I see. Ready to go?”
,” Yeah, where to next?”
,” Mmm, I don’t know, where do you want to go?”
Akaashi smirks,” It’s you taking me out. All up to you Bokuto-San.”
,” You know if you want you could call me Koutarou.”
Akaashi’s face promptly lights on fire but his words are still put together,” Thank you….Koutarou. You may call me Keiji, or whatever you would like.”
,” Keiji, Keiji, Keiji. I like it!”
,” I’m glad, it is my name after all.”
Bokuto laughs and then they are out the door, calling out their thanks before the door shuts. The waitresses and waiters just watch as the couple leaves, they know that it’s a couple, it’s obvious. But it’s cute too.
The couple wanders down a few streets, looking through the windows at clothes and food, wishing it was open. But the Tokyo nightlife is still tonight. There are shops that are open late at night, a few street vendors, and maybe one or two people also exploring, but quickly dipping out of sight before the two could fully see them. Just ghosts of people walking around.
But Akaashi is trying not to squirm as he walks. He really needs to pee now, but the air is tranquil for once, and he doesn’t want to mess it up. First dates and all he can’t afford to mess it up over such a simple need. Besides, Bokuto must know what he was up to when he left, and so he must think he can’t be needing to pee again.
They come to stop before an arcade full of people and Bokuto turns to him, eyes wide and a bright smile on his face. Akaashi cannot say no to a pleading Bokuto, so he relents and allows himself to be dragged into the hot mess that is an arcade at night.
Full of college students who are tipsy or waisted, teenagers hanging out with friends, regulars. Older people who have nothing better to do, and are just searching for a good time. It seems more like a bar than an arcade in some areas, but Bokuto doesn’t mind it as much. Akaashi just needs the bathroom.
But he also really doesn’t want to get separated from Bokuto in a crowd like this. He doesn’t even know if there is a bathroom, and if there is one it’s bound to be disgusting. Looking at the walls around, there’s graffiti everywhere on the concrete. Some of the columns make it look like it was once a parking deck, but now filled with more cement and turned into a shitty arcade.
Bokuto buys way too many tokens and to play the games, but Akaashi doesn’t care, it isn’t his money after all. He just sticks by Bokuto’s side, watching him play, and watching the crowd around him.
He sees one table, there are two girls and three boys. One of the girls has her hair shaved on one side, and the rest is short, the other girl has bleach blond straight down the middle. One boy has a mohawk, the other looks like a military, the last one reminds him of Kageyama.
They wear ripped clothing, full of darkened fabric and tight denim, the look to be about Akaashi’s age maybe. And they look incredibly happy, the two girls sharing a milkshake with two straws, there’s a mostly eaten pizza on the table, and bottles of stuff in front of them, as well as ice cream for the boys too.
Akaashi wonders if he were to join a different club or a different group of friends, he would have that too. But he wouldn’t trade what he has for the world. He forces himself to tear his eyes away from the group of teenagers there, people his age. And he turns back to Bokuto’s game, to see him lose and then move on to a different game.
Minutes slip by, and he laughs with Bokuto, watching him play is fun, and he plays too sometimes, not at the time. He doesn’t really like to play, but if he wants to, Bokuto hands the controls over to him in an instant.
A horrible pang shoots through him, making him double over slightly. Bokuto doesn’t notice, but Akaashi most certainly does. He whines a little, hoping Bokuto’s ears haven’t picked up on the pathetic noise. His bladder is damn near its limits if not already surpassing it.
A tiny stream starts and soaks his boxers, and he can’t stop it, not yet. But it spreads and makes a tiny wet patch appear on the front of his jeans. He needs to get out right now, or he will in fact leave this place with soaking wet jeans.
He tugs at Bokuto’s sleeve, and his partner looks up, worry overtaking his features. He stands,” Are you alright?”
Akaashi shifts his legs, rubbing his thighs together,” I need to pee.”
,” Ah, okay, I’ll go with you, so you won’t get separated from me.”
,” Thank you.”
Akaashi can care less how filthy the bathrooms are at this point, he just needs to go, preferably not in his pants. They move through the throes of people without any luck, until they come to the bathroom, but it says employees only. And Akaashi wants to sit down and cry right then and there, he needs to go so bad.
Bokuto furrows his brow,” How bad do you have to go? Emergency or you can hold it?”
Akaashi pauses, the automatic answer is emergency, but he also really wants to say he can hold it. He wants to tell Bokuto he can hold it, and it isn’t that bad. But if he says that he’s most definitely going to wet himself, and he can’t have that in a large group of people. That would be beyond embarrassing. Logic rules on this one,” Emergency.”
,” Alright let’s go find a bathroom.”
They leave the arcade, and Akaashi knows that the group's eyes are on them as they leave hand in hand.
As soon as they are out Akaashi feels another leak and he has to pause, bouncing on his toes as he crosses his legs tightly. Bokuto’s eyes widen at the sight.
Akaashi has his teeth caught between his teeth as his legs twist and bounce, his hand gripping Bokuto’s for dear life and the other tugging his shirt down. Bokuto can very clearly see the wet spot grow so slightly and he knows he has to think of something fast.
But he’s never seen Akaashi lose his composure like this. Akaashi is always calm and collected, at his worst it’s always in his head, never full of screaming and pointing fingers. Akaashi is always the level-headed one with the perfectly cool composure. He is what makes Bokuto stable. And now Akaashi’s tipping over the edge.
Bokuto tugs slightly,” C’mon, we need to find a place.”
Akaashi nods, still trying to maintain his composure which isn’t working as well. As Bokuto looks down there’s a tiny puddle under Akaashi’s feet, and he can see the streak of wet down Akaashi’s leg. He can’t imagine how humiliating this must be for him. For someone of such a collected demeanor to lose all of it in minutes.
They manage to make it down the street before Akaashi whines and shoves his hand between his legs,” Kou-Koutarou. I’m not, I can’t.”
Bokuto whips around to face him,” Shh, I’m here Keiji. Hey, hey look at me. If you can’t hold it it’s okay, I would never judge you for it. You know that. I would rather you wet yourself over you hurting yourself because you’ve held it too long.”
Akaashi stares down at his feet,” I would rather not wet myself.”
,” Do you have much of a choice?”
,” I-”
He sighs,” I don’t do I?”
,” Not really.”
,” I’m sorry I ruined our date.”
,” I don’t think you’ve ruined anything. If you cheated on me that would’ve ruined it. But it’s just pee, there isn’t much you can do about that. It’s natural, it’s a biological need we can’t ignore no matter how much we try and wish we could control.”
He sniffles,” I’m going to be the third year in high school and I can’t hold it.”
,” Age doesn’t matter Keiji. You should know that.”
,” Mmm.”
Bokuto removes Akaashi’s hand that rested between his legs, and now there’s nothing but Akaashi’s thighs to hold it in. He groans and rubs them together again, but lets out a surprised squeak as Bokuto pushes him into the alley and up the wall, pushing his knee between Akaashi’s legs,” Let go Keiji, I don’t want to see you in any more pain.”
Akaashi is shaking, trying to press down on Bokuto’s legs while simultaneously crushing it with his thighs, to no avail. He pleads,” Koutarou please.”
Bokuto moves so Akaashi’s wrists are pinned above his head with one hand, the other comes to press into Akaashi’s distended bladder, which visibly pokes out. He presses down hard and Akaashi loses it. Bokuto can feel the organ flex under his touch and he can feel the heat drip onto his leg and spread.
Akaashi feels it spread over his butt and down his legs, streaking and running down his calves, into his shoes before ultimately pattering onto the floor in an obscenely loud way. Too loud it seems, even though people five feet away probably wouldn’t be able to hear it. But still, it rings in his ears.
And the smell, oh the smell is putrid. It’s overwhelming and assaults his nostrils. His head lulls back, resting on the wall which is probably filthy but at the moment it doesn’t matter. Because he’s pissing himself like a five-year-old in a dirty alleyway with his hands pinned above him and a knee shoved between his legs.
Bokuto rubs circles into his aching bladder, it aches after holding too much for such a long amount of time. And it comes to a slow stop eventually, until all that’s left is excess drips between his legs that fall onto Bokuto’s legs.
He draws his legs away, letting Akaashi clamp his sopping wet legs together again, then he releases his wrists and catches Akaashi as his knees buckle.
Akaashi sniffles and whimpers slightly,” I’m sorry.”
Bokuto kisses the top of his head,” Don’t worry, I’ve got you. Let’s go home now, yeah? I’ll get you a bath, or a shower, whatever you want, and then we can do whatever you want after that okay?”
Akaashi nods,” Okay.”
,” Want me to carry you?”
,” You’ll get covered in my piss.”
,” The number of times I have been peed on by cousins and siblings carried their pissed soaked asses, or I myself peed on them, things like that. Keiji you’re fine.”
Akaashi grins slightly,” Alright fine.”
Then he’s getting a piggy-back ride from Bokuto, straight back to the train station, a thirty-minute walk away, and then the train ride which lasts a good forty minutes, plus the fifteen from the train station to home. Akaashi falls asleep on the train, and Bokuto shifts him so he’s more comfortable, he doesn’t even wake up when Bokuto carries him off the train.
He does wake him up to take his shoes off and take a quick shower though. Although Akaashi is barely awake for that. As soon as he is dressed, wearing a pair of boxers and Bokuto’s sweatshirt, he’s tucked into the bed, and Bokuto’s off to shower too.
Akaashi is barely awake when Bokuto slips under the covers with him. But he’s awake enough to move himself to where he’s pretty much sleeping on top of Bokuto, with at least half of his body thrown over Bokuto. Who just holds his arm around him in turn, letting Akaashi do whatever the hell he wants.
Light snores fill the air moments later and Bokuto’s only thought is how Akaashi will do when he leaves for college. Or rather.
How will Bokuto do without his Akaashi there to stabilize him?