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He hated himself for it. How did this happen? Why did this happen? It was just something silly; A careless act on Misumi's part. So why did he get so upset about it? Why did he scream and yell like he did? Why didn't he just help Misumi clean it up whilst they laughed about it? Why did he have to let his earlier gaming anger out on something Misumi couldn't help? And even if he did why did he have to corner the other like that?
Screamed, yelled, and cussed him out for something so minor. Insulting him and his behavior. Even the one thing he finds the most comfort in, he had to call him out for that weird obsession. And for what? What was he to gain for all of that? That Misumi would understand all the things he said and somehow change his entire persona, erasing the Misumi that he fell in love with?
He remembers the way his shoulders shook when he finished. And that face. The look that Misumi gave him. It looked sad but at the same time, it shook with an expression that he knew all too well.
Fear
The fact that Misumi could show him, of all people, that face; said enough about how toxic his behavior was. Because this was Misumi. He never really expressed when things bothered him, however, he made everyone around him know how a situation made him feel. Especially since they were, not only dating, but are now living together. Banri was always the first person to know how Misumi was feeling. He was the only one who knew what all of Misumi's expressions looked like and what they meant. So this new expression was something that shook him.
He shook with regret as he tried to explain, to apologize. However, nothing but rage came from his lips.
Why? Why is he still talking?
Shut up.
"Banri." The other choked out. His voice wavering and unsure. However, Banri wasn't in his right mind. He was battling, a raging war between his ego and conscience and it was clear who was winning. It shouldn't be, but it is.
That upset him even more. The only thing he's ever lost to was Hyodo. And he had gone as far as to pledge that he'd never lose to anything ever again. Yet one thing had somehow threw all of that development down the drain. His mindset was never this far in even when he was fighting and had been training so hard and was trying to become a better person not only for the sake of MANKAI but himself as well.
So why?
Why, why, why, why, why?
Whywhywhywhwywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy?
'Because. You. Haven't. Grown. At. All. You're more of a child than Misumi. And that's saying a lot.'
"Don't you FUCKING dare bring him into this!!" He hated himself for this childish behavior. He isn't the same as he was before. He's changed. Ever since he got on that stage. Ever since he got to know the others. Ever since the first-ever Autumn Troupe practice session. Ever since his portraits. Ever since he was dragged through those doors he'd changed. Molded into a new person, with new interests and even interesting friends.
"Banr-"
" Shut up. You don't know anything about me or how I feel right now, just disappear."
The ladder shook. He stumbled a bit with a horrendous look in his eye before he caught himself. Well if he could he would've tried to catch the tears that made their way down his cheeks. Regardless of the uncontrollable action, he smiled. It was a forced one. Anyone looking at it could see the sadness, hurt, and betrayal in his eyes. Even Settsu who had finally stopped talking and was finally aware of the situation he'd put himself in. He opened his mouth once more but it seemed as though the other thought he was going to degrade him even more, so he cut him off with 1 painful word.
"Okay."
That's not it. You're not supposed to say that.
You shouldn't take him seriously and accept that fact. You knew that when Banri gets upset you should do the thing you always do. Swallow that pill and wrap your arms around him in comfort while telling him to nap with you for the rest of the time being. You shouldn't fear him. Don't stand there and take insult after insult and only have the strength to reply with that undefinable answer of 'okay'.
Don't just leave him.
'Misumi' It was at the tip of his tongue. But it didn't come out.
--
The next morning was quiet. No sounds of the birds chirping or the annoying sound of their neighbors' lawn mowing. It wasn't even bright like it should have been. Banri turned to look outside of the balcony. The sky was dark. It was almost as if the fight yesterday had caused an actual storm. A storm that he had comfortably slept through despite the turmoil that was yesterday night. His hand moved and he dragged it along the space. The space that was supposed to contain his boyfriend laying comfortably beside him.
Now wasn't that time. He wasn't there. Banri wasn't even sure if he was in the house. So he looked. Dragging himself out of the cold sheets and into the rest of the cozy living space. And as he had expected the other was nowhere to be seen. There wasn't even a note on the fridge like there usually was that morning.
The morning notes were a joke the Banri started; using them for fun and for getting Misumi to doing things for him. Like reminding him to pay the bills or that one of his games had a maintenance that day. However, he was a bit surprised when Misumi starting making his own. Though they were more like good day notes as opposed to To-Do notes. Though, he didn't mind.
The notes were a constant must in Banri's schedule and he would find himself smiling like an idiot every time he found one in his bag or pocket. Even if they did fight Misumi would spare him and send him off to work with a blank, 'Have a good day' as opposed to his normal good morning notes full of reminders and ego-boosting comments. That would make him work hard and to finish early, before coming back home and opening his arms to have Misumi embrace him with a forgiving hug followed by a, 'Welcome Back~'
The brunette bit his lip at the calming memory well aware that it would be a while before it would happen again.
He turned from the kitchen before making his way to the entrance where indeed, Misumi's regular shoes were missing from the shoes in the area.
Ah.
So he did leave.
Well, you did drive him away.
Banri bit his lip harder attempting to block the voice. Surprisingly it worked and his mind was clear, though it came at the cost of his lip. The metallic tasting liquid dripping down his chin. He carelessly wiped it off leaving smeared dried blood on his face. Well, that was the least of his problems.
Before he could proceed he heard a faint ringing sound. It was his ring tone. He slowly made his way through the house not bothering to help the person on the other line who was desperately waiting for him to answer.
He made it back to the bedroom and picked up his phone. He ran a miserable hand through his hair before checking the notifications. The messages were from the vast majority of the company calling and messaging him about one person. He was tempted to read them all. But decided against it know what would happen if they saw that he read the messages, god forbid, he answered them.
[10:15 AM] Missed Call from Chigasaki Itaru
[9:47 AM] Missed Call from Miyoshi Kazunari
[4:48 AM] Miyoshi Kazunari: Banri if you don't expl...
[3:25 AM] Hyodo Kumon: When I see you I sw...
[1:40 AM] Minagi Tsuzuru: What's going on Banri? Kazunari just...
[1:32 AM] Sumeragi Tenma: Misumi just came ove...
[1:30 AM] Yukishiro Azuma: You've stirred up some dra...
He scrolled down the page. Finding almost every name from the dorm there. It would've made him happy if it weren't for the hate that was being thrown at him for something he should've controlled. He didn't want to see anymore, opting to turn off the device. Before getting a message.
[10:19 AM] New Message from Group Chat Gaming: Chigasaki: Are you okay?
He clicked into the chat to respond with a straight, honest no.
Letting out a sigh before hearing the annoying ringtone. He should really change it to the one Misumi recommended. Though, now wasn't the time for either of those thoughts; Blindly picking up the call. Hoping it wasn't someone who was going to lecture him. Because talking about Misumi would kill him.
It was quiet for a second and Banri though he might have accidentally ended the call. He glanced at it. It was Itaru, thank god.
"Banri."
It was Tsuzuru who spoke instead of the other gamer. "Are you okay?" The brunette now realized who the text came from. So Tsuzuru was using Itaru's phone. That made sense, Itaru would never ask him like that.
"Sorry if I caught you off guard. I don't have any ill intent, my phone died so I used Itaru's." He just nodded as if Tsuzuru could see him. He guessed Tsuzuru understood him because he continued with an answer, "I know that you didn't mean what you said to Misumi-san." Ah. This is Tsuzuru. He always rations things out before pointing the finger. That's why he's such a reliable source of help. He felt tears in his eyes. Yeah, he's not alone.
He could help but let out a small sigh. And then the comfort from the other line came. Tsuzuru whispering words of solace to him and Banri listened. It almost felt like Tsuzuru was there reassuring him, helping him, keeping that negative voice out of his head.
"Oi, what are you doing?" He heard a muffled voice on the other line, Itaru's most likely, talking to the light-haired brunette. It was quiet whispering before Itaru's voice spoke out.
He let out a laugh followed by Tsuzuru lecturing Itaru in the background.
A sigh ended the laughing and he stood, taking the rectangular-shaped device with him. "Banri." He couldn't tell who's voice it was but answered with a hum none the less. "Okay, Cool. Now that you've cried out all your feelings, and seem in a much better mood than before, what are you going to do now?" He stopped again, contemplating the question. He could attempt to go talk to his significant other, although that would have many negative outcomes. Most of which with Misumi not wanting to see the other. He understood that some relationships required solutions where both parties needed time away from each other.
Though, one thought ripped his mind to shreds.
Break Up.
The possibility of Misumi breaking it off with the brunette was high. This was the first time Banri had acted out, so what would he do if it happened again? He'd hope that wasn't the outcome that awaited him.
He took the opportunity to freshen up. He showered and brushed his hair, drying it before pulling it into a small ponytail. He could have stayed inside and maybe waited for Misumi. But the possibility of him bring another member of his Troupe back with him was extremely high. And Banri wasn't ready to have anyone confront him as of right then.
In short, he decided to go out. Go somewhere, anywhere, that could take his mind off of the giggly, triangle loving, athletic boy he loved. And hoped that the outing didn't become a scene from one of Muku's shojo manga where he encounters Misumi and friends while on his stroll.
Another sigh left him, hoping that he didn't just jinx himself.
--
He walked. He didn't even know where he was going, he was just going.
He made it to the main streets, bustling with people doing their own things. A smile made its way onto his lips as he walked. Finding a park and sitting on a bench. He stuffed his hands into the hoodie, finding the sky the most interesting thing at that moment. A sigh filled with content left his lips as he bathed the warmth of the flaming ball in the sky.
"Banri."
He let gravity pull his head back down. And there stood low and behold his therapist and his cranky gamer boyfriend. He chuckled at his own joke before his main attention was brought back by the couple.
"Wow, you guys tracked me here or somethin'?" A lazy smirk playing on his lips. It got bigger seeing Itaru's annoyed features, he opened his mouth to probably deny the claim before Tsuzuru spoke up first."I mean I just kind of expected you to be here." A string of silence followed before Banri let out a laugh," Aw, Tsuzuru-san", before embracing the other brunette. Tsuzuru was caught off guard, almost falling if it wasn't for his arms impulsively wrapping around the other to steady him. "At least my therapist cares enough about me to trick his boyfriend into seeing me~"
A guilty look, that couldn't be mistaken, spread across his face. Banri loosened his grip enough to be arms-length from the other. Keeping his hands on the older's shoulders while the others remained on his waist. "Tsuzuru be careful. I might end up falling for you." He gave him a fake loving look before he glanced at Itaru to get his idea of the situation.
The blonde was, of course, on his phone. He seemed calm but he knew that inside, he was raging and ready to destroy Banri in the next 1.v.1 they'd end up having. Banri gave Itaru some points for staying calm and not lashing out, whether it was for his image or Tsuzuru, he didn't know, but he was definitely feeling envious.
The older gamer sighed knowing that eyes were on him. But he bluntly ignored their eyes, as well as some bystanders' eyes, stuffed the device into his pockets, and proceeded to walk forward with the wave of his hands."Yeah yeah, hurry up will you."
The two exchanged looks before Banri swung his arm around the other and proceeded to catch up with the other.
In the midst of joke he saw a familiar silhouette.
Misumi's silhouette, specifically.
He knew it wasn't just him who noticed it because Tsuzuru could see them too. Misumi looked sad; He probably saw the whole scene unfold, which made Banri flinch but keep acting as if he hadn't seen him. Of course, there was no denying the rest of the Summer Troupe was there with him, remembering Tenma's text about Misumi coming over that night.
"Hey." Itaru's stern voice caught his attention. "Arcade?"
They both agreed to go to the gamer safe heaven and Banri thanked Itaru internally. Whether it was out of spite for Tsuzuru or he'd acknowledged Misumi's presence, was unknown, however, this would be a great chance to get his mind off things.
All three males were very familiar with the setting so it would be easy to get settled.
They played games for the rest of the day and were most likely going to stay until the arcade closed or they were tired. Banri and Itaru still going at it, while Tsuzuru dropped out a while back to relax and let the pro gamers do their thing.
He lazily scrolled through his phone. Before his body urged him to get up, signaling the two he was going to the counter to buy something and proceeding. He took his eyes away from the device to pay attention to his surroundings. He rubbed his eyes from the continuous use of the device. "Ah, how does Miyoshi even do this all day." Squeezing his eyes shut.
He saw the counter insight but before he could go up to it he heard familiar voices and ended up ducking behind one of the games. "Speak of the Devil..." He mumbled finding the entire Summer Troupe at the counter, huddling protectively around the blue-haired male. The college student took a breath before quickly walking back to the others.
They were in the middle of a game when Tsuzuru announced to them quickly that they had to leave.
"Eh? Tsuzuru I know you're bored, but you can't just-"
"Misumi and the rest of his Troupe is here."
The claim alone shut Itaru up. An annoyed sound leaving him, before him and Banri nod to each other in mutual agreement.
They leave from the back doors through some bribery on Tsuzuru's part and run past the darkness. Although luck wasn't on there side as the Summer Troupe walked out. Itrau, as the first one out hushed the others and urged the others back into hiding. They squeezed together, sporadic breathing between each individual. However, they were quiet enough to hear their voices.
"Damn it. I thought they'd be here." Kumon's voice rang out as the loudest.
"They should be. If they could be, anywhere it would be here. Besides Muku said he was sure he saw Villager C walk out of the bathroom." Tsuzuru's jaw tightened noting he should've been inconspicuous. A hand squeezed his and he gripped back not caring who's it was at the moment.
"They were purposefully looking for us?" Itaru questioned, whispering. With that bold claim supported by Itaru's question, they all knew the one, obvious, question that ran through their minds.
Why?
"Maybe they're still inside?" Tenma questioned. "No hack, Use your common sense. Villager C definitely saw us and they probably left." The sassy middle schooler contradicted the claim, ending it with an annoyed huff.
The lighter haired brunette flinched, a quiet curse coming from underneath his breath.
"Gah! This is stupid. They probably saw us and decided to leave right then and there. Anyone with a brain could put that much together." The younger Hyodo whined, covering his face with his hands and groaning with frustration. "Let's just go." The loudmouth blonde finally spoke up after his unusual silence. "They shouldn't be far from here." He quietly added. The venom dripping from his words. They continued on without a word.
The silence was deafening. Each hoping to get out of the space as soon as if felt safe for them too.
"I think," Tsuzuru spoke up startling the gamers from the blanket of silence," they're gone." He finished. A sign of relief coming from the other two. They stood from the uncomfortable crouching position and walked out of the back entrance alleyway. Itaru poked his head out to find any signs of the confrontational Troupe, thankfully, to no avail. The walked out following the darkness as opposed to the street lights in fear of getting caught. The sounds of late-night bustling and talking were what filled their ears.
"Hey, Banri, come over tonight."
They suddenly stopped walking. He tilted his head in utter confusion. "Well, what's the chance that they're probably at your house night now?" Oh. That made sense. The Summer Troupe was dubbed the most confrontational Troupe due to their force full nature. "Sure. If you insist Itaru." He said mockingly. Itaru groaned, a facial expression of regret written on his features. Tsuzuru laughed. "Okay then. Sleepover it is."
[11:39 PM] Voicemail from Settsu Banri: Misumi. I need you to listen to me. I want to meet up with you. To, ya know, say I'm sorry and whatnot. I don't want this bearing tension between us anymore. I aggrivatin' me. Please just give me a chance. It's just gonna be me and you. No one else. I'll be at the hideout at 4 tomorrow. You can choose to come if you want, I won't force you. I just want to talk. And for the last time, I'm sorry...
The older blinked. Wide awake at the sound of the voicemail. He bit his lip. His desperation was beating at him like a drum, telling him that it was okay. But at the same time, that's what brought him back to his father. But Banri was different, he didn't treat Misumi like he wasn't a human being. He gave him love and affection and all sorts of things Misumi couldn't give to himself, by himself. No. He wasn't going to go. It's been two days and he needed time. But all the resolve melted away when the last bit of the voicemail came and hit him like a truck.
...I love you, Misumi...
A slur of 'I'm sorries' came right after, accompanied pained cried and jerking sobs. It almost made him cry. His boyfriend was miserable with him. They were miserable without each other. The blue-haired male let out a silent cry and cried alongside the voicemail.
Kazunari leaned against the doorway. His eyebrows arched in irritation. God, he felt helpless.
--
A few days pass. No word from Misumi or the Summer Troupe. And Banri hated it. It was like they lost the little progress they had and were starting all over again. He woke up to a familiar bedroom setting that wasn't his. He found himself wrapped around the warmth of Tsuzuru's back. Itaru sitting up and awake playing a digital game. Itaru glanced at him, he looked back. They held a stare of a few minutes before he curled up to the older brunette over more. He quiet 'brat' left the older before he attempted to separate the two.
It was a game for push and pull; their voices getting progressively louder as it went on, waking up the scriptwriter. "Seriously guys?" He mumbled but was ultimately ignored by the two. He slipped out of the bedroom and into the living room, stretching. "How could they start with so much energy in the morning. Even Itaru got riled up."
Before he could do anything he heard a knock on the door of the apartment. Who could that be so early in the morning?
He opened the door before he could look, and emerald eyes met the golden ones of the triangle lover. He stood there, playing with what seemed to be a protractor. Tsuzuru stood there dumbfounded. Not knowing how to greet the boy based on the situation.
"G-Good morning, Misumi-san." He didn't get a response so he continued. Hoping to get the answer out of the boy. "What do you need?"
"Banri."
"I need Banri." The boy was all of a sudden shaking. His voice was quiet and throat, tight. Tsuzuru nodded, turning back into the house.
"Banri!" He called out. He heard the sounds of thumping go to a halt. The door to the bedroom creaked open and out came the delinquent. He saw his boyfriend at the doorway and his cheery mood dropped. He knows what Tsuzuru was going to say without him saying it. So he did it himself. Telling Tsuzuru that he would get ready.
Misumi waited on the sofa of the comfy apartment. His eyes scanning the surroundings of the place. It was neat and tidy compared to the personalities of the two that lived in it. They reminded him of the days at the dorm where the place was messy but clean at the same time. It was loud but quiet.
A door opened and the blue-eyed male walked out wearing his hoodie. He rubbed his neck wanting to comment before Misumi abruptly stood up and proceeded to the door. He quietly followed, waving goodbye the others and getting a 'good luck' in return from Itaru.
The walk was silent. Based on the route they were on, they were going home. The home that hadn't been touched in a week. Left to pick up dust and standstill for its owners to come back to it.
Misumi walked in Banri followed behind turning to close the door. He turned back to Misumi, only to be engulfed in a hug. The older's body shook with what Banri couldn't tell was fear or relief, he returned it none the less. "I'm sorry." He spoke out and they left it at that.
He tugged at Misumi's sweater, causing him to pull away. He wiped the tears the spilled from his face. "It's okay. I forgive you!" He said, happily. Smiling with the intent to cheer them both up. It worked.
They sat on the couch watching TV. Banri's arm around Misumi's waist and the others' head on his shoulder. "Wanna go triangle hunting?" The older shook his head, turning to kiss the younger. Their lips met with a warm touch. The void that should've been there gone as the kissed passionately. He pulled away smiling lazily. "This is fine."
He smirked before pulling him back into a kiss once more.