Work Text:
A, air mineral dingin (cold mineral water)
Huang Xuxi stares at the vending machine in front of him with mixed feelings, mostly consisting of annoyance and embarrassment with a hint of anger. He just finished his weekly session with his school’s basketball club and decided to go to the nearest vending machine to buy a bottle of cold mineral water, but the bottle he purchased got stuck in the bottom of the machine and he doesn’t know how to get it out. He stands there for five minutes, waiting on the machine that failed him to get the bottled water out, but at this point he’s just wasting his time here. He should have just agreed when his personal assistant offered to buy him the drink.
Xuxi softly taps at the glass panel in front of him, doesn’t want to break the machine even further, but the bottle doesn’t budge at all, still stuck on the bottom, doesn’t even show the slightest sign of moving. His head nearly combusts from the embarrassment and the fast, impatient taps of shoes that belong to the student queuing behind him.
The said stranger steps forward and stands beside him, fishing a red payment card from his wallet and pushes some buttons to buy a banana milk (Xuxi needs almost all of his self control to hold his tongue from scolding the stranger about queuing etiquette and commenting about his drink of choice). The pale yellow bottle he chooses gets pushed forward by the machine before falling straight on top of Xuxi’s bottle of cold water. With a calculated move, the student kicks the right side of the vending machine with his knee, and two bottles that previously got stuck in the machine miraculously rolls out. Xuxi can’t help but think this stranger has done this a lot, given the calmness and ease.
Before Xuxi gets to say a quick thanks, the stranger hands him his bottle of cold mineral water he’s been waiting for minutes now. His eyes scan the stranger and catches the long dark brown hair that he’s sure is almost violating the school’s rules, a pair of brown eyes that looks straight into his own, and a black t-shirt that belongs to the school’s archery club with a name tag, an unfamiliar name written on it.
Huang Guanheng.
B, banana milk
Huang Guanheng closes his bow case shut and waves to the rest of archery club’s members, a sign of him leaving the practice session early to study for his upcoming Chemistry test tomorrow. He’s still in his first year of high school, but he’s already chosen to be one of the archers to compete in this year’s national tournament that will be held two months from now and he has to attend the mandatory practice session with another main archer from each category. Despite that, he still has to put his academic affairs above everything else, just like today.
As he walks out of the archery building, he sees groups of students hiding behind the trees and bushes in the park near the sport center, all of them focusing on the most popular student in his school, Huang Xuxi, who walks to his direction with long strides. Guanheng doesn’t understand this sight in front of him, but keeps his mouth shut.
“I’m Huang Xuxi.” When the center of attention finally arrives in front of him, he holds out his hands and introduces himself.
Guanheng shakes his hand, feeling as painfully awkward as humanly possible. “I know.”
Who doesn’t know him? Everyone in this nation knows who Huang Xuxi and three of his friends are, especially the students in this school. Four of them are famously known as Vision, special students that come from the richest family in China.
Guanheng still doesn’t understand why would this man go through all this trouble of waiting just to meet him.
The answer comes in a form of half a dozen banana milk bottles handed to him with the most blinding smile he has ever seen, rivaling the sun itself. “Thanks for your help in the vending machine.”
C, Cantonese
After weeks of knowing Guanheng, Xuxi just discovers that they both can speak fluently in Cantonese in week five.
On that fateful day, Guanheng accidentally dropped his cellphone when Xuxi brought him on a tour to see the special rooms meant for Vision, after the archery’s practice session was cancelled because the coach fell ill. With a hushed voice, Guanheng cursed himself in a languange Xuxi hadn’t heard for such a long time after his family permanently moved to Beijing when he was still in primary school and since that day, Xuxi completely refuses to speak in Mandarin with Guanheng when they are together. Guanheng, who misses his home and can’t really find time to go back to Macau in between his studies, doesn’t mind and in turn introduces Xuxi to one of his best friends, Xiao Dejun, who also speaks Cantonese fluently because he was born in Guangdong.
Everytime Guanheng speaks to him in Cantonese, Xuxi feels as if he’s thrown back to his childhood days in Hong Kong, an easier time in his life when all he had to worry about were his toys and his wishful thinking of the future, a period in his life before he was introduced to the duty that he has to carry now, when he and his brother didn’t need to know about how to manage the biggest enterprise in this country and the difficulties behind it. Everytime Guanheng talks about Macau and its bright sky, Xuxi can almost forget about all his problems, focusing solely on Guanheng’s story when he dropped his pineapple popsicle twice in front of St. Paul’s ruins ten years ago.
Guanheng reminds him of the simpler time of his life, and Xuxi desperately likes the simplicity of it.
D, dukungan (support)
When two days ago Xuxi abruptly asked him to watch the preliminary game of the basketball’s national tournament, Guanheng easily agreed to his request. But, when he was picked up by two men in suits right before he could purchase his entrance ticket at the booth, he felt like his entire life was a joke. Or, Huang Xuxi has a very twisted sense of humor.
Not to complain or anything, Guanheng knows Xuxi considers him a friend now, but he didn’t expect to be guided to a room with glass walls on all sides, and told to sit in the best view of the stadium alongside three members of Vision who all cheerfully watch the game with foods overflowing the room. Guanheng also didn’t expect that behind the cold and mysterious persona, Qian Kun, Dong Sicheng and Li Yongqin will scream this loud watching their friend, even to the point where they would stand up and throw popcorns at the window when their school’s team is on the edge of losing.
“Why are you so tense? Don’t be nervous, okay?” Yongqin, who is famously known as the most warm-hearted and friendly, circles his arm around Guanheng’s shoulder with a bright grin. “We don’t bite, don’t worry. Calm down.”
Guanheng lets out a nervous chuckle when he feels Sicheng stares at him from his own seat with a wary and heavy gaze. It seems that Yongqin has a habit of saying things that are truly the opposite of what's currently happening. He feels as if he’s analyzed from top to toe, every behavior observed before getting judged by them later. Guanheng knows it’s all just a product of his overly-imaginative brain, but it’s hard to shake off a feeling that you absolutely don’t belong here, not at all.
Like he just finished reading an open book, Kun walks to him with two big glasses of cold cola, handing one of them to Guanheng’s hands with the most sincere smile anyone has given him tonight.
“Even though this is a hard pill to swallow for the three of us, between everyone in this very stadium, your support is the only thing that matters to Xuxi. Don’t ever feel like you don’t belong here, Huang Guanheng.”
E, expectations
After a phone call from Macau in the middle of their weekly dinner following their afternoon practice session, Guanheng looks dejected. Well, the exhausting physical training of the archery team earlier really ruined his mood, but the stormy looks in his eyes indicate something worse than a 2,4 km marathon or hundreds of push up sets, and Xuxi can’t help but to ask him what’s wrong.
Unexpectedly, just like a bomb with its trigger finally being set free after years of holding back, Guanheng tells Xuxi a lot about his family who is basically a dynasty of medical business in Macau, and how Guanheng is also pushed to go to medical school after this, following a family tradition. He tells him that he never once in his life has control over his own future, that his parents have a lot of expectations of him as the only son of the household, and how archery is one of the few happy things in his life, a safe haven for him. His voice is shaking in despair, and the only thing Xuxi can do at this point is pull his chair closer to Guanheng and pats his back to calm him down. Xuxi knows this exact story, and if he’s allowed to boast, he understands this better than anyone.
They are different sides of the same coin, Xuxi thinks to himself, the peaceful ambience of the Korean restaurant he picked goes eerily still around them. They were born with expectations and duties, no matter how they yearn for a freedom to be the master of their own lives. This is not only about them and their dreams, but also about responsibility.
F, finger tab
From the beginning of this season, Guanheng has seen the presence of the famous Huang Xuxi in every single round of the archery tournament he’s currently participating. Not for anything, Xuxi comes to the tournament to specifically cheer for his younger brother, Huang Renjun, who’s competing in the middle school-level. In the third round, Xuxi comes to the tournament venue to see both Renjun and Guanheng who compete at different levels, because the last two rounds were held before Xuxi met Guanheng in the embarrassing vending machine incident.
Guanheng never knows how it feels to be cheered on and supported by his family on the sideline when he competes, but he’s willing to bet every single penny he has that it must feel nice to be Huang Renjun for one day. Xuxi spends almost the entire time giving his brother some pep talks, but he spares the last ten minutes before the round begins to see Guanheng, a small box cradled in his hands.
Guanheng stares intently at Xuxi, before dropping his gaze to the black box with a furrowed brow, suddenly feeling skeptical. “What is that?”
“Just open it.”
A finger tab he has been keeping his eyes on for so long is laid beautifully in the box, he doesn’t even know how this man in front of him knows the exact model and color he’s been dreaming on for months and now is in his hands (maybe from his browser tabs that he never closes, just in case) and Guanheng’s mind is suddenly filled with gratitude and disbelief that Huang Xuxi does the absolute most for someone he barely knew, even doing more than what his parents had done for his dream in archery.
“Do you like it?” Xuxi breaks the silence, his voice sounds hesitant.
“I like it. I like it so much.” Guanheng barely can get any word out, a mere whisper almost unheard in the middle of the audiences’ cheers in this big stadium, but he knows his voice will break into a sob if he dares to speak louder.
Xuxi caresses his hair, three times, and Guanheng feels the threatening prickle of his tears in the corner of his eyes from the gesture combined with the encouraging smile. “Good luck. When you’re done, meet me and Renjun in the parking lot, okay? Let’s have dinner together.”
G, Gundam
Guanheng finally lets Xuxi visit his apartment after four whole months of knowing him. Before that four-months-mark, Guanheng said that it was almost impossible for him to imagine Huang Xuxi, the heir of the richest family in China, sitting in the living room of his humble abode with a cup of herbal tea in one hand and a jar of almond and walnut cookies that his mother made in the other.
Guanheng’s place is a simple and plain one, decorated with glass cabinets all around the corners filled with his robot collections. Xuxi only needs to ask one question for Guanheng to excitedly give him a small lecture about Gundam, editions he has successfully collected, some series he still try to find until now, he even picks one half-done figurine to show Xuxi his points and to teach him the wonders of Gundam. At first Xuxi felt uninterested, but the enthusiasm thrumming from the shorter man is contagious and he decides to help, even though Guanheng would sometimes yell at him when he mistakenly constructs something.
After hours of hunching over the small parts, two snack breaks, and hundreds of fed-up screams from Guanheng combined with Xuxi’s tired complaints, the figurine of their collaboration is finally done. Guanheng displays it in the glass cabinets in his bedroom, alongside some of his most favorite collections.
“Gundam is Kunhang’s thing, his favorite thing in this world.” Dejun explains while throwing a basketball to Xuxi in a chest pass, between one of their small evening sparring sessions in the school’s gym. The ball is caught smoothly before Xuxi throws it into the ring, making a three-point shot from where he’s standing. “He doesn’t like to share at all.”
This is not the first time Dejun has spoken to him about Guanheng, but Xuxi never felt this warm before.
H, homecoming
Guanheng slams the door of his locker with an extra force after stuffing his bag with the textbooks inside, taking his frustration out to the inanimate object. Today has got to be a joke. He forgot his wallet earlier that day, got hit by a volleyball when he passed the court to his first class, didn’t get a seat at the cafeteria, and almost got a detention for running late to his calculus class. The universe definitely has some vendetta against him, there’s no other logical explanation for this.
“Huang Guanheng!”
The call comes from the corner of the hallway, and he curses himself for knowing this voice too well (this voice is a constant presence in his life for approximately the last six months). On God, if this call is not important, Guanheng will let all hell breaks loose with no hesitation. Since his last class, he wants nothing but to go home as soon as possible and throw himself on the comfort of his bed to forget his unfortunate events of this day.
When he turns around, he is welcomed with Xuxi’s famous one megawatt smile with a small cactus in a white ceramic pot handed to him, a soft pink flower blooming on the top of the succulent. His smile is as blinding as several months ago when he gave Guanheng six bottles of his favorite banana milk after practice, and still as warm as when he gave him the black finger tab before his third round of the tournament. Almost on cue, the frown on Guanheng’s face softens from the sight.
With a loud voice that can be heard even from across the hallway, Xuxi asks. “Will you go to homecoming with me?”
Guanheng lets out a small chuckle, half embarrassed from the teasings that come right after the question, half relieved from the fact that he made a right choice to not yell at Xuxi because of his bad day, but he mostly feels joyful because finally, something good happens to him after a series of bad luck today.
He snatches the small pot in front of him with one hand, and pulls Xuxi in for a hug with another. The position is a little bit uncomfortable because of their height difference, but both of them don’t care.
“Of course.”
I, indah (beautiful)
Huang Xuxi may not know a lot of things in this world, but he’s very sure about this one: Huang Guanheng is beautiful.
Even since their first encounter in front of the semi-broken vending machine in the hallway of Year 1’s building, after being a witness of Guanheng knocking down his opponents in the national archery tournament and spending almost every day seeing him, he has drawn this conclusion. Huang Guanheng is breathtaking. Xuxi keeps this not-so-objective observation in his memory when he shows up at Guanheng’s front door unannounced with a hot pizza and a Biology textbook in his hands, and the observation keeps playing in the back of his mind when Guanheng takes his hand and guides them to the balcony, inviting him to enjoy the summer night outside while helping Xuxi prepare for his weekly test.
In the middle of Guanheng’s lengthy explanation about the cell and its division stages, Xuxi’s finger brushes away the dark brown fringe framing Guanheng’s face, wanting to see the beautiful view without any distractions. The big, starry eyes stare back at him, and Xuxi takes notes of how his pale skin shines under the moonlight and how his rose-colored lips curve up into a serene smile. His conclusion remains. He’s beautiful. Possibly, the most beautiful person Xuxi has ever laid his eyes on.
Guanheng keeps his steady gaze, his hand closes the textbook between them and decides to end the tutoring session here.
“I love you. You know that, right?”
Xuxi realizes he’s saying it out loud when the smile in Guanheng’s face widens, and he nods. With Guanheng, he doesn’t need to say much, and both of them will know. A mutual understanding. Xuxi moves forward and pulls Guanheng closer to him, holding him tight in his arms.
“I love you too.”
More than you know. More than I know.
J, jersey
To be completely honest, Guanheng despises the cynical and envious stares from his classmates when he enters the gymnasium for PE in a starkly different attire from the standard PE uniform of his school. But, Guanheng thinks he really needs to give them an indirect warning for the fact that half of this school’s population are still tailing Huang Xuxi around like fans who are too attached to their idols, and leaving gifts for him in the basketball’s court when Guanheng is right there, openly waiting for Xuxi to finish his practice.
This morning, his white and dark blue uniform turned into a dark brown mess after he hurriedly entered his classroom and didn’t see Yangyang who was sipping a cup of iced Americano standing right in front of the door. The collision was humiliating, and Guanheng doesn’t have a spare set of uniform. Dejun, who is in a different class from him, doesn’t bring his uniform, either. Guanheng still remembers when Dejun laughed at his face with no remorse and absolutely no interest in finding him a solution.
Swallowing his scattered pride, Guanheng asks for Xuxi’s help, the miracle worker himself who would willingly help his boyfriend, unlike his best friend-slash-traitor. Xuxi said his personal assistant would send Guanheng his uniform, but Guanheng most definitely didn’t expect the blazing red of his school’s basketball team jersey inside the package, complete with the matching black pants.
“This is your basketball uniform. Are you really sure your personal assistant knows your PE uniform?” Guanheng calls Xuxi while standing in front of the mirror in the locker room. This jersey is too big for him, with a color tone that is the exact opposite of the uniform he’s supposed to wear now.
“He knows. Just use it, huanggua, no one would dare to scold you.”
Guanheng should not feel this proud, but the jersey with a big 20 printed on both sides of the clothes he’s wearing now is enough of an indirect warning, a cold reminder of who he is now, and his relationship with the owner of this uniform.
K, kiss
The second Guanheng read an ad about the new ice skating rink opening in the outskirts of Beijing that popped up in his instagram feed, he instantly asked Xuxi to go there with him, despite the known fact that Guanheng hadn’t touched his skating blades for more than ten years now. But, forever a victim to the pleading eyes of Huang Guanheng, Xuxi immediately rented the whole rink for a day with no hesitation, just so they could spend the next Sunday together.
After the first hour filled with Guanheng falling over the ice while trying his best to remember the skating techniques he learned years ago, he can finally glide around the rink with smooth movements, dragging Xuxi with his hand to move, no longer needing to hold on to the side railing anymore. Guanheng stops for a while, balancing himself and Xuxi before they skate over to the middle of the arena.
“Thank you for today, Yukhei.”
“This is not free, you need to pay for it.”
Guanheng spontaneously laughs. “Do I? But, I don’t have enough money. Can I do your Mandarin paper instead? Or should I help you for your English test next week?”
Not both, Xuxi thinks, the Mandarin paper and the test are not worth it. Xuxi holds Guanheng’s chin and leans in to kiss him for the first time.
Xuxi feels Guanheng stiffens against him for a second before he surrenders, leaning his body weight to him completely and parting his lips to let Xuxi kiss him deeper. He can feel the goosebumps in the back of Guanheng’s neck when he pulls him closer, Xuxi’s free hand holding the small of his back while Guanheng smiles between their lips.
When they part, both of them silently look into each other's eyes. This feels right, a voice in Xuxi’s head supplies, this feels like coming home.
Guanheng holds Xuxi’s arm to support himself, tiptoeing to rest their foreheads together and whisper softly, “I like this type of payment.”
L, laughter
According to Guanheng’s opinion, it’s easy to make Xuxi laugh. Too easy, in fact. In retaliation, Xuxi said it’s because Guanheng is too funny.
Well, behind his image of the silent and not-so-friendly “prince”, Guanheng admits that sometimes his words and thinking processes are unusual and almost always laughable. A natural-born comedian, Guanheng often doesn’t need to do or say something for Xuxi to double over from laughter, cackling until he runs out of breath, face flaming red. He doesn’t know if it’s an effect of Xuxi falling in love with him, or he’s just that amusing in his boyfriend’s eyes.
He actually has no problem with that. When Xuxi laughs, he shines a thousand times brighter than usual, and he’s already more blinding than the sun. He also has this habit of burying his face in Guanheng’s shoulder every time he laughs, and Guanheng actually enjoys the moment far more than he would like to admit. Xuxi looks cheerful and carefree, a rare sight of him that Guanheng indulges in and tries his best to inflict more frequently these days. If Guanheng could freeze time, he would definitely freeze those moments, stretching it into eternity.
Ten minutes after the school bell rings, Xuxi suddenly appears in front of his classroom to drive him home. Guanheng almost can’t hold himself from throwing the empty bottle in his hand to Yangyang’s head for his playful whistle when he sees the pair, and just like that, Xuxi breaks into a gleeful laugh. His warm, deep voice echoing around the room, his round eyes reflect the orange hue of the sun streaming through the windows before he nuzzles his face into Guanheng’s small shoulder.
Guanheng decides this is what he wants to keep for the rest of his life. The joyful glee and the shining eyes are enough for him.
M, makanan (food)
Xuxi is a sucker for spicy foods. Sadly, Guanheng can’t really eat too much spices, and has to drink several glasses of milk every time they decide to eat some spicy dishes together.
Guanheng knows Xuxi too well, including his taste in foods, so every time they have dinner together Guanheng would bravely order extra spicy dishes for them, even if it causes his beverages total price to be more expensive than the amount of food they ordered. Xuxi actually doesn’t mind eating mild dishes, or even the non-spicy ones Guanheng can eat in peace, but Guanheng is very adamant about this tradition of eating spicy food together and it forces Xuxi to agree with him even before he could protest. A screaming fit in a restaurant is not necessarily a noble thing to do, so Xuxi keeps his thoughts to himself even when Guanheng curses under his breath in every spoonful he eats.
“Let’s just stop eating this and order something else, okay? Something you can actually tolerate.” Xuxi tries to persuade Guanheng as his boyfriend just finished his fourth glass of milk after a round of spicy hot pot that even Xuxi will describe as a huo guo from hell. He can barely eat this, so he really can’t imagine Guanheng’s misery. He doesn’t understand why Guanheng is so resolute about eating the same menu as him, completely unwavered although he can easily order for another type of dish.
“No way. I want to eat with you, okay? I want the full experience.” Guanheng firmly shakes his head, his hands gripping the chopsticks to take out a slice of cooked meat from the pan filled with a bright red broth that almost boils over. “It’s a rare occasion that the Prince of China would eat at a small huo guo place near school after his practice session ends, I won’t waste the opportunity.”
Xuxi can only answer with a soft chuckle and pours Guanheng another glass of milk. He vows to himself to stop Guanheng from ordering foods comparable to hell fire so that his boyfriend will not need to order a litre of cold milk next week.
N, night time
“Wong Yukhei, do you know what time it is currently?” Guanheng can’t hold his exasperated sigh and his desire to yell at Xuxi when he opens his front door and sees his boyfriend standing on the terrace, holding his bag tightly in his chest. He woke up ten minutes ago from the continuous sound of his apartment’s bell combined with his phone that rang almost non-stop from the calls Xuxi placed earlier. Guanheng thinks he needs to teach him a thing or two about courtesy and curfew.
The man in question takes a quick glance over the watch strapped in his wrist, and answers with a nonchalant manner. “It’s 1:40 in the morning. Can I stay here tonight?”
Guanheng tries to blink away the sleepiness from his eyes, and realizes that he didn’t even bother to turn on the lamps in his living room, his sight illuminated by the dim glow of the street lights. From his position now, he can see Xuxi walks over to him with red eyes and slightly messy hair, and slowly closes the door behind him. Guanheng blinks again, and it doesn’t take long for Xuxi to let his bag hit the floor with a soft thud and pull Guanheng in for a hug.
“Is everything okay?” Guanheng asks as softly as his hoarse voice allows, although he already knows the answer. It’s always family matters, Guanheng and Xuxi are not too different in that department. His thin arms circle around Xuxi to return the embrace, his palms caressing Xuxi’s hair in a calming gesture. This night is worse than usual, Guanheng concludes, that’s why he’s here.
“It’s fine,” Xuxi embraces him even tighter, burrowing his head into Guanheng’s shoulder, resting his forehead against the cool skin, “Can I stay here? I can sleep on the sofa, it’s okay.”
Guanheng doesn’t press further, doesn’t even answer the question posed at him, but his hand reaches down to pick up Xuxi’s bag and swiftly kisses his forehead before tugging the taller man to the bedroom.
O, orang tua (parents)
Three days ago, Renjun told Xuxi that their parents want to meet Guanheng, and plan to invite him to the next family dinner.
Xuxi would not fool himself into thinking positively, of course his parents already know from his personal assistant that he often comes home late after practice, even sneaks out in the night for a study session with a particular person every exam week. His memory is still fresh from last week when he sneaked out after a fight with his father to sleep at Guanheng’s place, maybe that was the last straw for his parents. Xuxi literally begged his mother to cancel the invitation and just forget about everything, but his mother is as stubborn as he is and reserved a table for five in one of the most expensive restaurants in Beijing. His mother also personally sent the invitation to the address Xuxi knows on top of his head (he doesn’t want to know the method his mother used to obtain the address at all).
It’s not that Xuxi doesn’t want to introduce Guanheng to his family, don’t get him wrong, but he has a very obvious reason to dread this moment. His parents are both too selective when it comes to choosing a partner and it makes him feel anxious. It does not help at all that this is the first time his parents feel the need to personally see a person he deems as special to him, and he doesn’t know if this is a good thing for them.
Contrary to him, Guanheng didn’t feel too nervous about it. Maybe they will ask us to break up in front of them, he joked while they entered the VIP room of the restaurant written on the invitation in his hands, and that input wrecked his nerves even further. Xuxi didn’t even think about that before.
Fortunately, their predictions are all wrong. His family is currently expanding the company’s scope to the medical business, and the first deal was made with the network of hospitals in Macau owned by Guanheng’s family. His parents already knew that Huang Guanheng goes to the same school as their children, even though the fact that Guanheng is in a relationship with their eldest son was only recently known when Xuxi’s personal assistant slipped up and mentioned his name on the weekly report.
In the middle of Guaheng and his father’s conversation about whether doctor’s incentives are comparable to the amount of workload, his mother stares at Xuxi with a soft smile gracing her face, and the little nod that comes right after can only mean one thing: a blessing.
P, pendant
For Xuxi’s upcoming birthday, Guanheng has zero idea about what to give him as a gift. Huang Xuxi can literally buy the whole country if he wants to, and Guanheng doesn’t have even an ounce of talent at handcrafting, so a hand-made gift is impossible. He knows that Xuxi would never complain and will wholeheartedly accept anything Guanheng gives him, but the pressure is still on. This year, he could no longer give Xuxi a set of English dictionaries like he did last year. This year, the gift has to be something special.
Nothing comes up to his mind, so he tries to ask around.
He asks Yongqin first, after hours of waiting outside the art club room and trying his best to contain his embarrassment. Yongqin’s answer is simple, to the point, and makes Guanheng almost pull his hair out of frustration: your smile is the best gift for him. For his second try, he asks Sicheng, who tells him to just directly ask Xuxi about this instead of running around trying to come up with something. Guanheng thinks Sicheng needs more gifts in his life. His last hope is Qian Kun, who wisely gives him an actual answer, unlike the two people he asked earlier:
“Just give him something you also own. Think about it as a matching set? Xuxi is not picky about these things.”
After a whole week of secretly planning the gift (big thanks to the tournament’s final round that takes every single second of Xuxi’s spare time), Guanheng waits in front of the building used as Vision’s private classroom with a box in his hand. Kun and Ten give him a grin and a thumbs up on their way out, while Sicheng waves at him before running straight to the Chinese dance club’s practice room.
“Kunhang?” Xuxi asks him when he finally steps out of the building, eyes full of questions.
“I know you don’t have time to meet me before the final, I also have practice after this.” Guanheng gives the wrapped box to Xuxi with a grin. “Happy birthday!”
Xuxi opens the wrapping and brings out a silver necklace with the same compass pendant Guanheng currently wears. With a proud smile and a delightful twinkle in his eyes, Guanheng explains.
“My mother gave me this necklace before I moved here. She said, the compass would help me find my way home back to her. It’s from Macau, so it took a few days to be sent here. I really hope you like it.”
Q, quality time
Xuxi is a thousand percent sure that he was the happiest person in the room when Guanheng won gold in the men’s national archery tournament, maybe the second happiest after Guanheng’s older sisters (who were not present at the venue, so his claim still stands to this day). Not Dejun, not Yangyang, but him. Xuxi can truthfully say that Guanheng had an iron will about winning the competition, the determination that stemmed from the fact that his school hadn’t won any gold in archery for years. Intense training and almost every day practicing with the team, studying late at night to catch up with the classes he missed, Guanheng deserves to win the medal. But, despite everything, Xuxi has a very personal reason to be happy about the achievement.
After the national tournament ends, both him and Guanheng have a lot more spare time to spend with each other. Even if it’s just a movie marathon in Guanheng’s apartment or a stroll around the city to try recently opened parlors of ice cream or bubble tea, Xuxi doesn’t want to waste any second they have and maximizes his quality time with Guanheng. Xuxi doesn’t mind spending the whole day just staring at Guanheng assembling his Gundam like there’s no tomorrow, or being dragged to the nearest basketball court to teach Guanheng to perfect his lay-up technique for his test. As cliche as it sounds, Xuxi really doesn’t mind doing anything with Guanheng on his side.
Sicheng was definitely not joking when he said Xuxi already falls too deep for the brown-haired man, and of course Xuxi would never admit this out loud. He enjoys this little secret on his own, making sure he spends every weekend with Guanheng peacefully.
R, rumor
Huang Guanheng knows that he’s not as popular as Huang Xuxi. Even so, before he met Xuxi, he also had his own fair share of admirers who were watching from the sideline without actively trying to get to know him (fortunately, he could never imagine being chased around). He’s pretty smart in class and excels at archery, plus he’s from a well-known family, so the majority of students in his school know who he is. Still, he’s not the main topic of conversation like Xuxi is.
His boyfriend is literally under a spotlight all the time. Guanheng first heard about him two years ago because of a rumor that he was dating Song Yuqi, one of the most famous members of his year’s debate club, because someone saw them talk to each other after school. Just a few weeks ago, a gossip that Xuxi would move back to Hong Kong circulated around right after a gossip that he had a big fight with Kun dwindled down, and there were a lot more rumors Guanheng can’t even remember anymore because the number is just too much.
So, when Huang Xuxi comes at him with a pissed-off frown on his face to tell him that a rumor about him are currently spreading around like a wildfire, Guanheng can only stare at Xuxi in disbelief and tries his best to remember why on earth would people speculate that Huang Guanheng would go with Luo Zaimin, a transfer student from South Korea and one of his juniors in the archery club from Year 2, to his last homecoming next month. His mind went back to the last practice session, when Zaimin begged him for tips to ask Renjun, Xuxi’s brother, to go to the dance with him. Guanheng couldn’t help him either from his lack of experience, so he told Zaimin the story of the small cactus with a pink flower that Xuxi gave him last year and re-enacted the moment for him.
That’s it. That’s the reason, Guanheng laughs to himself when Xuxi frowns deeper at him.
The person who started this baseless rumor needs to go to therapy, it seems. They need professional help. Ever since he came to school with Huang Xuxi after the last homecoming, who would even dare to get close to him?
S, sabit (crescent)
The second best thing Xuxi loves from Guanheng’s smile is how the curved lips turn his round eyes into a pair of crescent moons.
He sees that smile in almost every day of his life these days, but Xuxi will never get tired of seeing how Guanheng’s face lights up every time he smiles. To his liking, Guanheng has different smiles for every occasion of his life. His lively smile when he waves at Dejun and Yangyang after school hours ends is distinctly different from his beaming excitement when he hugged Renjun at the last tournament, congratulating him for advancing to the final round. There’s also this half-laughing smile that he couldn’t hold when his sister called him to vent about her wedding preparation, and Xuxi wants to see the lift on the corner of his mouth forever, assigning every smile into their own meanings like a book in his mind.
But, from all types of smiles he has ever seen from Guanheng, Xuxi has his favorite. The smile that he rarely sees, but every time Guanheng has that particular smile on his face, Xuxi would easily forget everything else in this world. The soft smile directed at him when Xuxi became the MVP of the winning match at the last national competition, the sleepy smile Guanheng gave him in the early hours of the day after Xuxi spent his night at his apartment, the faint curve that unconsciously rises every time Guanheng sees him for dinner, for study sessions, or for their weekly date, and Xuxi realizes something.
Above everything, Xuxi loves how the rare smile is only given to him, and no one else.
T, truce
Guanheng leans to the comfort of the passenger seat in Xuxi’s car, eyes closed with a sigh. His head is physically hurting from the mandatory self-studying session for the National College Entrance Examination, famously known as Gaokao that will be held exactly 50 days from now. He really wants to eat lu ji zhua in a restaurant he frequently visits to cheer himself, but Xuxi has been wanting to eat Thai foods for a week now and is currently not in the mood of surrendering to Guanheng’s request.
“We ate char siu yesterday and that was your pick, Kunhang.” Xuxi reminds him in a low tone.
“Well, I’m the one racking my brain out to prepare for Gaokao, Yukhei, not you.” Guanheng strikes back with a scowl. The four special students, including Xuxi, are not required to attend the Gaokao self-studying session because they will most definitely go to college outside China, so Guanheng assumes Xuxi can give in to this one request tonight. But, as much as it bothers him to admit this, these past few days Xuxi has completely agreed to every single thing he suggested for dinner.
“How about we find a place to buy lu ji zhua on the go first, and then eat at your favorite Thai restaurant?” Guanheng offers him a deal.
Before Xuxi has any time to protest, Guanheng pulls his shoulder in and kisses him on the lips without any warnings. Xuxi’s head almost bumps the roof of the car from the sudden movement, but Guanheng honestly couldn’t care less. All is fair in love and war, right? Guanheng keeps tugging at Xuxi to come closer, and makes sure every disagreement disappears from his mind before Guanheng pulls back with a winning expression on his face.
Xuxi stares at him in shock, blinking rapidly to process what just happened.
“So, truce?” Guanheng whispers in between their lips, and leans in for another kiss after Xuxi nods distractedly at the deal.
U, university
Xuxi is right there with Guanheng when he opens the acceptance letter from the Medical Science program of Peking University. Xuxi is right beside him when Guanheng calls his family back in Macau, hearing the cheerful glee of his mother and a series of congratulations from his father and his older sisters. Xuxi still sits beside him when Guanheng hangs up, reading the letter one last time before turning his laptop off and opens the last can of soda in his fridge.
“I don’t want this, even if I spent the last few months working hard just for this moment to come. I’m sure you can relate.” Guanheng drinks the cider, gripping the can tight in his hand.
Xuxi nods slowly, doesn’t even want to think about the next six years in Harvard University that he has to endure. They talked about this before, but Xuxi still feels uneasy. Long distance relationship is not an easy thing to go through, and the miles that stretch between Beijing and Boston are a cold, harsh reminder of it. Guanheng sits closer to him, leaning his head on Xuxi’s shoulder, softly counting the raindrops falling down the window in his room.
“I can visit you in Boston, and you can go home sometimes.” Xuxi knows Guanheng is as anxious as him about this, but apparently it doesn’t stop him from leaning closer to take his hand in his grasp, rubbing circles on the back of his hand to soothe him. “We’ll be fine, Yukhei.”
And he knows Guanheng is right. It’s their responsibility, whether they like it or not. It’s still hard for him to accept the truth, even after all these years, but Guanheng’s calmness is also as contagious as his excitement.
They stay at the same position for a while, watching the rain with Guanheng leaning onto him, the can in his hands warming up as he continues rubbing circles on Xuxi’s hand, white noise fills up the room as Xuxi carefully whispers. “Before I go to Boston, let’s go to your home together.”
Guanheng quickly straightens up, darting his eyes at Xuxi. “To Macau? Did something happen?”
“I have never met your family before, right? I think it’s time.”
V, Vision
When Qian Kun said that Huang Guanheng doesn’t need to feel out of place when he’s with Vision, four years ago at Xuxi’s preliminary basketball match, he did not lie at all.
Kun and Yongqin flew from New York to accompany Guanheng on his first time visiting Boston and helped him plan a Christmas surprise for Xuxi who couldn’t catch a flight home to Beijing. Sicheng, who turned out to pick the exact same program and university as Guanheng, quickly became his good friend, spending almost every day together to work on their assignments even though they didn’t have many classes together, or just go out to grab some late night snacks in their study sessions.
In the six years of Xuxi finishing his studies at Harvard, they constantly FaceTime and message each other, telling some small stories and updates of their lives. In some days where the 12-hour difference between Beijing and Boston feels unbearable for both of them, added with the academic pressure, Vision would come to the rescue. Sicheng would take Guanheng out for a huo guo break and listen to every single complaint he had that day, and Yongqin would take turns with Kun in his spare time to visit Xuxi who was drowning in his papers and exams and forgot to check his phone.
In those six years, they went through it together. Without them, Guanheng might not be able to survive to this day, and Xuxi might give up since the first day he arrived in Boston. They are not only best friends of Xuxi, three of them are also best friends of Guanheng, although Guanheng really needs to filter his words and what he tells Sicheng, Kun, and Yongqin, and dumps the real version to Dejun and Yangyang.
They are a blessing for Guanheng, and he couldn’t ask for more.
W, welcome
After Xuxi finally finished the grueling six years and got his Masters degree at Harvard Business School, his father asked Xuxi to come back to Beijing and start working at the central headquarter of KX Enterprise.
The last time he stepped foot on his home country's soil was actually not long ago, he went home to Beijing to attend the graduation of Guanheng and Sicheng from medical school before he had to catch the first flight to Massachusetts for his midterm test. But, this is different. He’s actually coming home, without having to endure the 20-hour flight to go back to Boston anymore. He no longer has to worry about the time zone when he wants to talk to Guanheng, he no longer needs to adjust his timing to place a call to tell him about his day. He’s coming home, and this time he’s not going anywhere.
In between the six years they’ve been through, they frequently see each other. Guanheng couldn’t visit him too often because of his studies so Xuxi would have to fly to him, although Guanheng also dropped a few surprise visits when he could. It was hard, but they tried their best to make it work.
Xuxi carries his suitcase and walks to the arrival terminal at a fast pace, he can barely contain his excitement to finally see Guanheng who waits at the other side of the glass door. They last spoke to each other on the phone two days ago, and he told him that he had to buy mapo tofu for every single resident in his department to cover for him so that he would be able to take a day off and pick Xuxi up at the airport.
In the morning rush of the arrival terminal of Beijing Capital International Airport, the first thing he sees after passing the glass door is Huang Guanheng, waving his hands with beaming eyes and a wide smile in his face.
Huang Xuxi finally feels welcomed at home.
X, xylograph
The last time Xuxi visited his family’s home in Macau, Guanheng remembers this clearly, was seven years ago, a week before his departure to Boston. Seven years ago, Guanheng’s parents didn’t expect Huang Xuxi to show up at their front door as their youngest child’s boyfriend and not the representative of KX Enterprise, who was in its first year of partnership with their family’s medical institution. Since that day, his parents called him twice as much as the usual calls he received per week, and they would ask about Xuxi more than they asked about his studies. They would ask for updates from Xuxi, their relationship, even to the point of pushing him to go to America when they hadn’t seen each other for a long period of time. It’s no longer a secret that his parents love Xuxi more than they love their own son, but Guanheng can’t really get annoyed at that, for the fact that Xuxi’s family literally treats him better than they treat their own children.
Guanheng helps Xuxi unpacks his suitcase in the guest room located at the second floor of his home before stepping down the stairs to look around. He hasn’t come here for a long time, either. A vacation is almost impossible in the middle of his residency program. The xylograph on his living room’s walls are still there, just like his family’s recipe of the egg tarts served on the table that hasn’t changed for years. The smile in his mother’s face when she saw Xuxi earlier didn’t change at all, and the strong grip of his father’s warm, calloused hand stays the same.
Seven years should change a lot of things, but his family was, and is always a little bit different.
Y, yours
“What do you think? Do you like this place?” Xuxi asks Guanheng as the real estate agent who escorted them to one of Beijing’s luxury penthouses finally leaves them alone at the place to let them privately inspect around. After Guanheng finished his night shift at the hospital this morning, Xuxi picked him up right away and asked Guanheng to accompany him to see this place he’s been eyeing for months now. Guanheng agreed to tag along, partly because he’s bored, and mostly because Xuxi has told him several times about his plans of moving out of his family’s mansion to stay at his own place.
“I like it, but you’re the one who will actually live here.” Guanheng replies lightly while opening a small door in the corner of the glass wall that connects the living room to the balcony, marveling at the city view seen from this angle. “Do you like this place?”
Xuxi almost forgets to breathe, he can feel his palms getting cold and clammy inside his coat pockets after remembering the actual reason he asked for Guanheng’s company here earlier.
“I like it, but you’re going to live here with me, so I need your opinion on this.”
Guanheng slowly turns his head to him with a pair of wide eyes full of shock, ensuring himself that he didn’t falsely hear what Xuxi said to him. Xuxi gulps when those eyes look directly at his own, nervousness flooding his system as he pulls out a black velvet box from his pocket. The platinum ring inside glints gracefully as Xuxi proposes with a quiet voice under the purple sky of Beijing’s sunset. “Forever?”
When Guanheng tearfully jumps into his arms for a hug, Xuxi’s own eyes fill up with tears as a soft smile rises in his lips. With Guanheng, everything feels easy, like perfectly compatible puzzle pieces, like they are truly meant for each other, for this, ever since their first encounter ten years ago.
“Forever.” Guanheng answers with a tremble in his voice, wrapping his arms around Xuxi even tighter. “You’re forever mine, okay?”
Xuxi laughs, his hands wiping the tears from Guanheng’s face before leaning down to kiss him. “Forever yours.”
Z, zenith
Guanheng enters the penthouse with a tired sigh, the clock on the wall tells him that it’s 2:15 in the morning now. The hospital was in shambles, figuratively and literally. Half of the doctors and residents in his department had to go to ER and take three days off after a food poisoning from a take out they ordered for lunch. Guanheng doesn’t know if he’s lucky because he had a surgery scheduled when the fiasco happened, or unlucky because he had to cover for his colleagues, working overtime on multiple surgeries already planned in advance.
He should be able to come home earlier than Xuxi if the disaster didn’t happen. He already had the evening all planned out with dinner and glasses of wine, but today is not one of his good days.
Guanheng enters their bedroom, trying his best to suppress the sound he makes to a minimum level. Xuxi is fast asleep at their bed, and Guanheng feels his stomach sink when he remembers that Xuxi tried to call him several times when Guanheng didn’t come home at the promised hour, and Guanheng could only sent a short text on his way to operating room to tell him about the incident. Earlier when he went to the kitchen to grab some water, he saw take out boxes on the trash bin. At least Xuxi didn’t forget to eat dinner. He washes the day’s grime off and slips into the softest cotton pajama he has before quietly laying his back on his side of the bed. The dip of his weight wakes Xuxi up, and Guanheng curses himself for forgetting the fact that his husband is an awfully light sleeper when he sees Xuxi turning around to look at him, eyes squinting to focus his sight on Guanheng.
“You’re home? How was your day?” Xuxi mumbles, voice rough and raspy from the sleep. Guanheng doesn’t have any energy left to lie, so he scoots closer to Xuxi to wrap his arms around him, finding comfort in his husband’s body heat.
“Not good,” Guanheng snuggles, burrowing his face into Xuxi’s neck and whispers to his skin, “let’s sleep.”
Xuxi returns the embrace and kisses the top of Guanheng’s head before falling back to sleep, and just like that, Guanheng’s day is a hundred times better now.
Because in the warm embrace of Huang Xuxi, Huang Guanheng always feels like he’s on his zenith, even if the world around them reaches the nadir.