Chapter Text
i.
Yixing doesn’t know how he started getting involved in this whole thing, but he suddenly realizes how boring the whole show is (especially since he has no one to talk to). it’s actually not a political gathering (at least not what his manager told him last week), but he actually thinks the gathering can be called a political gathering since there is this new Mayor candidate (apparently he’s young enough to be going to this kind of gathering) going in for an upcoming election.
As one of the co-founders of the brand goes on talking about the recently released collection, Yixing grabs his untouched wine glass and takes a little sip of it. Schooling his expression, he tries to not show his distaste of the wine and places the glass back on the table. Although he realizes that his attempt on hiding the bitter taste in his mouth fails when he hears a low chuckle from the man sitting next to him, a fellow celebrity that he has met before when he went on a TV show four months ago.
“Do you not like wine or are you just bad at drinking alcohol?” Luhan, the name of the said man, teases, glancing at Yixing who’s still trying to figure out how to get rid of the bitter taste from his mouth.
“Both,” he answers simply with a light chuckle and then claps along with the other audience once he realizes that now the founder has finished his speech. As the applause dies down, he starts feeling around the pockets on his pants and blazer to see if he brings any chewing gum or sour candy, or just anything.
Just when he’s about to give up and accept his fate that the bitter taste will stay in his mouth until the end of the gathering, Luhan’s hand stretches out in front of him with a few options of chewing gum and candy that he can freely choose.
“Woah, you’re a lifesaver,” Yixing notes, a small smile blooming on his face and thus his dimples make an appearance for everyone to see. Taking a lemon-flavored candy and opening the wrapper, he places the candy on his tongue and shivers slightly once the sour taste takes over his taste bud. “Thank you so much, Han-ge.” He shoves the wrapper into his blazer pocket and relaxes in his seat.
Both of them haven’t seen each other since that TV show, and Yixing regrets that he can’t talk more than the less-than-five-minutes interaction because not long after that, he has to get up and leave his table to film some videos with some magazine crews. As he stands in front of the shelves full of new released handbags and shoes, he can’t help but notice how the whole design and style reminds him of someone. The pastel-y color and the handmade drawings attached on every product is almost enough to take him back to his life years ago, and although the pull to reminisce of that time is so strong, he needs to clear his head and focus on doing his job so the whole thing can wrap up quickly.
Just as he’s about to film the last video of the night, one of the co-founders (the one that wasn’t giving a speech on the stage before) approaches him with a bright smile across his face. The crew moves back and directs the camera away from him to the approaching man. He walks with his shoulders straight and confidence that for a second Yixing envies him for having that strong aura.
“Hello, I’m Byun Baekhyun.” The man introduces himself to Yixing in an accented Mandarin and stretches his hand out for a handshake which Yixing accepts gladly. “Thank you for coming to the opening of our pop-up store.” The words sound rehearsed and now from up close, Yixing can see that Byun Baekhyun is nervous about communicating in a foreign language.
“I’m Zhang Yixing, and it’s such a pleasure to be here.” He flashes his infamous, dimpled smile and takes his hand back. “If you’re not comfortable with Mandarin, you can talk in Korean.” He gambles, hoping that the man really is Korean, because if not he’s going to be very embarrassed.
“Ah, okay, okay.” The relief that Baekhyun feels can’t be hidden. They both share a chuckle before Baekhyun moves on with his questions. “So, what do you think about the collection?” As one of the guests, Yixing is wearing the collection from head to toe, just like any of the other celebrities invited to the show. He finds the clothing (especially the shoes) really comfortable, and with that in mind, he knows that this won’t be the last time he wears it.
“I have to admit that they’re my favorites now. This style is right up my alley and some of the designs are unique, too. I believe it’s another success, Mr. Byun.” The smile on the co-founder’s face widens and there’s a light in his eyes that no one can miss. It’s a sign of how good the night has turned out, and Yixing is honored to be a part of his tonight. “Especially, since the profit of this collection will be donated to those in need, it becomes more meaningful.”
“If I may ask, which one from the collection is your most favorite?” Yixing takes a moment to think about his answer. Along with the clothes he’s currently wearing, he was sent some other products from the collection, such as two pairs of hoodies, an animated t-shirt that has a unique bunny drawing on it, and a tote bag. They are all simple and comfortable enough for him to wear daily, but still, if he has to pick one, his answer is still the same.
“It’s hard to choose, but I think the shoes are my number 1 from this collection.” Baekhyun nods at his answer. “I like the fit and how comfortable it is. The design is pretty simple too, and basically I can pair it with so many clothes. Plus, this little bunny on the side kind of grows on me.”
“Ah, the shoes are a collaboration with one of my good friends. He’s the one who draws that little bunny.” Yixing raises an eyebrow at the explanation. “Yeah, it’s part of the Prive x SUHO collection that is available for the public next week.”
Prive x SUHO.
SUHO.
Just a mention of the name almost makes his heart stop beating. It has been such a long time since he hears that name. His pseudonym. A name that is familiar yet foreign to him these days. A name that is used to get his heart racing.
Blinking his eyes rapidly to clear the fog in his mind, Yixing tells himself that he can’t slip away tonight. He still has to go through the event before he can be left alone. He still has to keep up with his smile and be professional. Broken heart be damned, he reminds himself bitterly.
“It’s such a shame that Suho himself can’t attend this event, but I’ll make sure to extend your praise about his design to him.” Yixing can only nod and smile, not having the energy left to say anything else.
Thankfully, that is the end of everything. Baekhyun extends his hand again for another handshake before moving on to talk to other people. As he’s finally left alone in front of the crew, the PD tells the cameraman to stop recording, deeming that there is enough footage. As if on instinct, his manager approaches him and signals him to start to bid farewell to the crew and any of the celebrity friends in the room. Moving in a blur, he is ushered to leave the event with cameras still in his direction and the flash almost blinding him. The camera captures every move he makes and the scream is deafening enough that the thought of placing his hands over his ears actually crosses his brain for the first time in such a long time.
The maddening contrast once he’s in his car only makes his heart race. The deafening silence that envelops the whole car ride to his apartment does nothing to help a million thoughts running in his mind. It feels like everything is weighing down on him that his chest feels tight.
“Are you okay?” His manager asks from the passenger seat. Yixing looks up from the little bunny drawing on the side of his shoes to give his manager a look.
“Do you know about it, Min-ge?” Yixing braves himself to ask. He has an idea of what the answer might be, but he still asks the question anyway for peace of his mind.
“I do. I did some research, you know, a few days ago.” Shutting his eyes, he leans his head on the headrest and darts his gaze away to the window. A sign that he wishes to be left alone with his thoughts for the remaining of the ride back home.
Life really does work in a funny way, he thinks. Just when he has finally accepted his fate, he’s forced to rethink everything . It hasn’t been an easy feat, accepting your fate and recognizing that life doesn’t always work the way you want to. Yixing is painfully aware of that, has been experiencing it first hand. He has made peace with it, with everything that happened. He’s been living his life to the fullest, doing the things he wants to do. He’s been seizing every moment in his life to his own favor. He has done his best.
So, where did he go wrong?
Did he not count his blessing enough? Did he forget something along the way? What did he do wrong? Does he have to do everything all over again?
So many questions running through his mind, so many answers that he wishes he can get, but from who? The universe won’t just hand over the answer to him easily. The universe likes to make him work for it. Just like the next person, he knows he has to work for it--comply with the universe and does his very best to make terms with everything.
The thing is, he doesn’t know if he has the energy to do it all over again this time around. With his eyes locked on the moon, he wishes that the universe goes easy with him this time. It’s a futile thing to ask, he knows, but a man can hope, right?
Until the end, he will keep on praying and hoping, he decides. No matter what the universe may throw at him again along the way.