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The sun was setting on another day in Konohagakure. The sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon, painting the normally blue sky in vivid shades of orange, pink, and purple. Even the clouds surrendered to the divine brushstrokes, though some looked like strokes of black and gray upon the canvas.
Naruto Uzumaki sat motionless in his bed, right arm resting on his skyward knee, left arm resting limply on the other leg. His head rested on his wrist, unruly blond spikes masking his visage; not that he was looking at anything. He wore a gray T-shirt bearing the Uzumaki crest on the back, with blue sweatpants. His apartment was silent except for the ticking of a clock. The orange glow of dusk beamed through the window of his bedroom, the beauty of the sky just outside all but ignored by the blond.
His hidden face was wrought with exhaustion from restless sleep. His half-lidded sapphire blue eyes didn’t have their usual spark in them. Those that knew Naruto could tell that he was in pain. He barely left his apartment. He hardly ate; not even his beloved ramen seemed to whet his appetite. He didn’t speak much; even when he did, he was much quieter than his normal self, and spoke in a monotone. He was mourning.
The memory of Fukasaku telling him of his master, Jiraiya’s death replayed in his head over and over. The words echoed in his mind.
Jiraiya was killed in battle.
When he first heard them, they shook him to his core.
He remembered his outburst of anger towards Tsunade.
Granny…were you the one that sent him?
Yes.
Her curt reply was a slap to the face.
Why would you let him do something so reckless?! If he’d been the fifth Hokage, he would never have let Granny Tsunade do something so reckless.
He left after that, and started walking nowhere.
He remembered Iruka finding him and asking him to get some ramen, which he turned down. He remembered letting the tears flow later that night. He remembered Iruka finding him and consoling him, sharing a popsicle with him, just as Jiraiya had before.
He remembered Shikamaru coming to him the next day, all but dragging him out of the apartment to the hospital, of all places. He remembered seeing a very pregnant Kurenai, mistaking her for being fat from eating more than Choji. A smile tugged at his lips, the ghost of a chuckle escaping his nose. Even when he was sad, he could still be quite brash.
He remembered his friend’s words. Shikamaru shared his pain, since he had lost his sensei, Asuma, at the hands of the Akatsuki.
Nothing’s gonna happen if you keep moping around.
Time to become the one that entrusts rather than being entrusted to. It might be a pain in the ass, but I guess that’s just how it is.
We can’t stay kids forever. Not if we wanna be kickass shinobi like Asuma and Master Jiraiya.
Pull yourself together.
In that moment, the familiar spark reignited in his eyes, and he’d given his friend a small smile before he headed back home. Once he got home, his eyes dulled once more, as grief tightened its grip on him. Shikamaru’s words did help him, but he still hurt, he was still angry and frustrated.
He sat on his bed, remembering those moments, but he also remembered all the time he spent with Jiraiya. He sighed as his eyes closed.
Sakura Haruno walked quietly through the streets of Konohagakure, her emerald eyes were duller than usual. Tsunade had sent her home, despite Sakura’s protests. For the past couple of days, she seemed to be zoning out, which was unusual given how focused she normally was. Her mind kept wandering back to her teammate and friend; she was worried about him. She saw how hard the news of Jiraiya’s death hit him, how he reacted in anger before leaving. She hadn’t seen him since yesterday, so she was going to check on him at his apartment.
Her heart ached for him. She’d never seen him so hurt before. He’d always pulled punches, taken beating after beating, oftentimes for her sake, and he still managed to give that signature foxy grin of his and laugh it all off. This time, his wounds were far deeper than cuts or bruises or broken bones. His wounds were of the heart and soul. She walked quietly, her body on autopilot as she made her way to his home. She let out a small sigh as she swallowed the lump in her throat.
Naruto’s reminiscing was interrupted by a knock at his door. His heavy eyes opened slowly before he dragged himself out of his bed and shuffled to the door. He opened it just enough to show half of his face. He was greeted with pink locks and soft emerald eyes.
“Sakura? What are you doing here?” he asked, his monotone masking his surprise.
“I came to check on you, see how you’re doing,” she explained. “Can I come in?” She tried to peek in to see if his apartment was any worse than she remembered. He gave a grunt and opened the door to let her in.
“Make yourself at home,” he recited. She took off her sandals and sat on the couch, patting the cushion next to her, looking at him expectantly. He sluggishly moved and plopped himself down next to her. She rested her hands on her knees as they sat in silence for a moment.
She cleared her throat and broke the silence first. “So, how are you? Are you…okay?” She knew the answer, but she asked anyway.
He shrugged his shoulders. His dull eyes staring out in front of him, his arms limply resting on his legs, his hands dangling as he slouched forward, looking deflated. He offered no verbal response, not even a grunt or hum.
Sakura chewed on her lower lip as she tried to think of what to say to fill the deafening silence. She studied her friend, who looked like a shell of himself. Shikamaru had told her that he talked to Naruto, and seemed better after the fact, but the blond who sat next to her seemed anything but.
She let out a sigh. “Naruto…I’m sorry,” she started. “I understand what you’re going through.”
Naruto flinched. His shaky voice was barely a whisper. “You understand? What I’m going through? You…understand?” He was met with silence. He slowly turned to the girl, his eyes fully open, though still dull compared to how they normally are. Despite their near-lifeless appearance, his sapphire gaze drilled into her. She only stared at him, her eyes pleading. She wanted him to talk to her, she genuinely wanted to know how he was feeling.
Naruto’s hands balled into trembling fists. “You don’t understand anything,” he breathed, the words quivered as they left him.
“What did you say?” Sakura indignantly asked, feeling hurt at his declaration.
Naruto rose to his feet, turning to the pink-haired girl, his voice a little louder. “I said you don’t understand anything, Sakura,” he said, his voice cracking slightly, his whole body trembling in anger.
Sakura’s eyes widened as she gaped at him. She stood up to meet his gaze. “How dare y--,” she began, before she was cut off by her teammate shouting at her.
“No! How dare YOU! You have no idea, none, how I’m feeling right now! I just lost someone who’s been one of the most important people in my life!” He shouted, his voice full of pain, tears pricked at his eyes.
“What are you talking about?! Of course I know how you feel! I lost someone important to me, too! Sasuke le--,” she was cut off once more.
“SASUKE WASN’T LIKE FAMILY TO YOU!” he screamed; the tears fell freely from his eyes now. “Sasuke wasn’t the closest thing to a father or grandfather you would ever have, Sasuke wasn’t the person who trained you personally for three fucking years! He was your crush, your crush, Sakura!” His voice broke from all the pain he was holding. She stared at him as her own tears started falling. She knew she wanted him to talk, but she didn’t want to make him angry.
“You know I grew up without parents, I grew up living in this apartment by myself after I was kicked out of the orphanage! I fed myself, took care of myself! I had nobody! Nobody, Sakura! Ever since I was little, people made fun of me, kicked me out of buildings, refused to feed me or help me,” he tried to stifle his sobs as he continued. “I had no friends at the academy either! No matter how nice I was to people, people avoided me, I would still get picked on, and even beaten up! But you know what? That wasn’t even the worst of it!” A sob escaped him as he shouted at the pink-haired kunoichi, his voice hoarse. “The worst part was seeing everyone being so happy with their families, with their PARENTS!” His voice broke as he screamed the last word at her. “You can’t know what I’m feeling, because you have parents who are still alive! Your parents took care of you, loved you, fed you, gave you a place to live! My parents are DEAD! Jiraiya was the closest thing I had to a parent in my life! And now he’s…” he choked on his words as he sobbed openly. “Now he’s gone, he’s gone, Sakura.” He finally managed to choke out. His body shook as he screwed his eyes shut and cried as he sat down.
Sakura’s own tears fell freely, her eyes glistening. She hadn’t seen him like this since Gaara died and Chiyo revived him. She knew he was right; she had never experienced a loss like that. Realization hit her like a punch from Tsunade. She had never been alone, she never had to experience the kind of pain he had experienced. She was always well-taken care of. Above all, Sasuke leaving was nowhere near comparable to what had happened to Jiraiya.
She wiped her eyes as she sat down next to him, taking a deep quivering breath before she whispered, “You’re right.” Naruto’s head snapped up and turned to her, his eyes wide, tears still flowing.
“You’re right, Naruto,” she continued, fresh tears beginning to pool in her eyes. “I’ve never experienced the loss of someone so close to me. I’ve never experienced the pain of being so alone all the time. I’ve never experienced the pain of watching people be happy with their families, knowing I’d never have that,” she gazed into her friend’s blue pools as tears ran down her cheeks.
She gently gripped his shoulders and turned him to face her and took his hands in her own. She choked back a sob as her voice broke. “I may not understand the pain you’re feeling right now, and I may not understand what that kind of loss feels like; but I do understand that you’re hurting. Badly. I understand that you’re sad, angry, frustrated, and in so, so much pain.”
Naruto could only stare at her as fresh tears rolled down his whisker-marked cheeks. Sakura tried to blink back more tears, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. “The biggest thing that I understand, and that I want you to understand,” she squeezed his hands to drive home her words. “Is that people care about you. Lady Tsunade cares about you. Kakashi-sensei cares about you. Shikamaru cares about you. They all care about you.” She choked back another sob, trying her best to stay composed. “But I want you to also understand that I care about you, Naruto,” she said, her voice cracking as fresh tears pooled in her eyes and fell. Naruto took in a sharp and shaky breath at her words.
Sakura reached one hand to cup his damp cheek, her thumb caressing his whisker marks. She gazed into his sapphire orbs as she whispered softly to him, “Let it out, Naruto. Let out all the pain, all the anger, all the frustration. I won’t leave here until you let it all out.”
Naruto stared at her. His eyes stung. He let out a whimper before the dam burst. He wailed as he screwed his eyes shut once more. His cries carried the agony and frustration that he held back for years. Sakura threw her arms around him, letting him cry into her shoulder. He returned the embrace, his hands clutching the back of her shirt for dear life. She simply held him as she quietly sobbed with him, gently raking her fingers through his hair as he bawled his eyes out.
“It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m here, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere,” she shakily whispered to him. Her heart ached for him. As she held her dear friend, her own emotional dam gave way as another realization hit her like a sucker punch. She cared for this boy more deeply than she thought she did. Was it deeper than she cared about Sasuke? Her breath hitched as she grappled with the possibility of the depth of her feelings.
She held Naruto as he let his emotions flow freely. His wails had died down to quiet sobs. Sakura kept her arms wrapped around him, still running her fingers through his hair. Naruto found the action soothing, and felt himself tiring from his catharsis.
Sakura swallowed the lump in her throat as she continued to wrestle with her emotions regarding the blond in her arms. Her heart was saying one thing, but her head was saying the opposite. She could only think of Naruto and how he always listened to his heart. He was reckless, impulsive, and kind of an idiot at times, but she admired him for his determination, his strength, and his willingness to go so far for even total strangers.
She shut her eyes as she realized that she didn’t love Sasuke like she thought she did. The love that she wanted to feel for Sasuke belonged to the sobbing boy in her arms. She took in a shaky breath, building up the courage to whisper to him. “I’m here for you, Naruto. Just like you’ve been there for me,” she tightened her embrace as she continued. “I’ll be here for you because you’re precious to me, too. You’re one of the most precious people to me, because I love you, Naruto.”
Naruto’s eyes snapped open as he pulled back to look at the pink-haired girl, his jaw slack. After a moment of stupor he found his voice. “Wh-what did you say just now, Sakura?” He shakily whispered.
Sakura once again gently cupped his cheek, caressing his whisker marks with her thumb. Naruto breathed in sharply at the contact, lost in how soft her hand felt against his face, taking in how tenderly she caressed him with her thumb.
She leaned closer, touching her forehead to his. A light blush adorned her cheeks, her voice was barely above a whisper. “I said: I love you, Naruto.”
She closed her eyes as she brushed her lips against his. Naruto’s mind was racing. The girl he liked for so many years just confessed her love for him and kissed him. She had kissed him. He let his eyes flutter closed as he returned her kiss, wrapping his arms around her once more, holding her as though she would disappear if he let go. The hand that was on his cheek moved to his chest, while Sakura’s other hand moved to the back of his head, once again working her fingers through his hair.
Their lips separated as their foreheads touched once again. Naruto took Sakura’s hand in his, and kissed her knuckles before whispering to her, “I love you, too. Thank you.”
The two sat together for a time, simply holding each other, enjoying the other’s presence as night fell upon Konoha. Naruto talked to Sakura about what he was feeling; all the pain, the frustration, the heartbreak, and how he felt about her. She sat and listened to him, taking in everything he said, nodding every now and then. She never let go of his hand. Eventually, time escaped them, and they fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Naruto and Sakura both slept better than they had in a long time that night.