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Yoshikage Kira woke up alone in a half cold bed, not a rare occurrence as of late. He sighed, disheartened by his lover’s absence, and turned to face his nightstand. Peeking from under the cozy comforter, he checked the time on his alarm clock: 6.30am. The first lights of dawn were creeping through the partially closed curtains. The air in the room was still and freezing cold; he had gone to bed without turning the central heating on. On the wall, the bright neon numbers on the thermostat read a harrowing 17°C room temperature. So, if the master room was this cold, that meant…
“Oh no,” he mumbled, nearly jumping out of bed. The chilled air in the room hit his lithe body like a bucket of icy water, fully pulling him out of his previous grogginess and sending him into a shivering fit. His flannel pajamas felt nonexistent as the warmth of the bed sipped away from his body. His slippers were equally freezing to the touch. Yoshikage trotted towards his closet and took out the fluffy bathrobe Kei had jokingly gifted him a couple of years ago. It was a cumbersome piece of clothing he wouldn’t wear under normal circumstances, but at least it was green and snug. Once he regained his composure, his thoughts went straight back to his real priority, “Josefumi…”
Yoshikage quietly made his way to the living room and immediately cranked the heating up to a sensible 24°C. And there, surrounded by open textbooks and notebooks, lied his beloved Josefumi Kujo. Thankfully he had managed to cover himself over the shoulders with a thin blanket before passing out on the couch. However, both his awkward sleeping position and his exposed stomach made Yoshikage scowl in reproach. Still, the lovely face he’d seen suffer that past week or so was finally experiencing some peace, even while sleeping all bent and twisted over loads of paper notes.
“Hey silly, you’re going to catch a cold if you sleep with your belly out in the open,” Yoshikage murmured as he knelt by Josefumi’s head and kissed his forehead. The soft touch of his warm lips on Josefumi’s cold skin made him stir instantly.
“Sorry, Yoshikage,” Josefumi replied in a muzzy voice, not really processing what he had been told and apologising as a reflex. “I’ll fix it immediately, I’ll protect… huh? Kira-san, what time is it?” he finally managed to say with a clearer mind. His body was frigid and he could barely feel his toes, but after being gently woken up by a kiss from Kira-san he scarcely felt the cold. His forehead radiated a warmth that seemed to cascade from his crown unto the rest of his body. Just staring at Kira-san’s beautiful, sleepy face was enough to get his blood pumping again.
“It’s still dark out, barely half past six. So you should get up from here and into the bed. You’ve studied enough,” Yoshikage answered as he pet Josefumi’s scruffy bed head. His hair was always an utter mess first thing in the morning, but Yoshikage loved that wild look on him.
“No, no. I've got to keep on going. I still have some time left before the exam, I can still review some points, and–” Yoshikage shut Josefumi up with a sudden kiss on the lips. It wasn’t too deep or passionate, just a quick little peck that still made Josefumi blush profusely. Satisfied with the results, Yoshikage openly grinned with a tinge of mischievousness.
“You should rest properly Josefumi, sleeping on the couch is terrible for your back. Plus, you need to give your brain some time to process all the information you’ve been cramming into it,” Yoshikage stated to justify his point. Josefumi scrunched his nose and pursed his lips, doubtful. He was still bone tired and numb, but his final exam was merely a couple of hours away. His head was racing, full of chaotic information coming and going into the forefront of his consciousness. He could feel a slight headache coming on as well, so he stood up and stretched his limbs. Yoshikage followed suit and insisted, “You know I’m right, Josefumi. And if I’m not, then look at me in the eyes and tell me I’m not,” he defied, staring intently at Josefumi, who turned his sight upwards. Even while trying to ignore him, Josefumi could feel Yoshikage’s eyes burning holes into the back of his skull.
“You’re right, you always are,” Josefumi admitted in defeat, still avoiding making eye contact. He just couldn’t argue with Yoshikage when he knew he had the facts on his side. “I’m just worried about oversleeping, you know I’m not really a morning person and the exam is at 11.”
“Hey, don’t get pouty on me. I know you’re nervous, but it’s for your own good. I only want you to succeed, honey,” Yoshikage whispered into Josefumi’s ear in a sweet, but sensuous tone. “You can sleep on my side of the bed, I believe it’s still warm. And I’ll wake you up by 10am, I promise. You’ll have more than enough time to get to campus by train, although I’d rather call you a cab, just in case. I haven’t looked out the window yet, but it’s been cold enough for snow lately.”
The tingling sensation lingered over Josefumi’s skin as Yoshikage’s voice closely graced him. “Okay,” he managed to answer, still groggy, and as he slouched his way into their shared room, he turned back and vaguely asked again, “Huh… 10am?”
“10am sharp,” Yoshikage reassured him, nodding intently and shooing him with both hands. He waited to hear the door shut completely before starting to tidy up the living room a bit.
***
Josefumi woke up to the rich smell of coffee in his nostrils. The master bedroom’s door had been deliberately left ajar, also letting in the delicious scents of sweet pancakes and buttery toast. Josefumi had a dopey smile on his face as he lazily sat on the warm bed and stretched, trying to force himself to fully wake up. The many smells coming from the kitchen had certainly roused his appetite, he realised as his stomach grumbled, but his heart didn’t want him to leave the bed just yet. ‘I gotta get up,’ he mentally scolded as he contradicted himself by laying back again and burying his face on the pillow. Promising to get back up in a minute, he took a whiff of the cushion and revelled in Yoshikage’s scent for a bit longer.
Josefumi grumbled into the bathroom, despising every single cell in his body. He stared at his gaunt, still tired-looking face on the wide mirror over the sink and grimaced. He hated the exam period and the horrible amount of stress related to it, but what he hated most was the physical effects it had on him. Both his body and his sleeping schedule had suffered tremendously as he had rushed to catch on the many classes he had missed in order to help Kira-san (and he couldn’t complain about it, because he had done it behind Kira-san’s back). He hadn’t been able to sleep with him or even touch him in weeks, which was even more tragic as Yoshikage had taken off the winter holidays to stay with him during New Year’s Day. Josefumi sighed, still vexed by his own idiocy, and tried washing his face to wash off the drowsiness. As he brushed his teeth and combed his fingers through his ungroomed hair, he wondered if he’d have enough time to style his pompadour today. He hadn’t had time to properly fix his hair in days too. ‘Today’s the last one. Last one,’ he reflected, trying to cheer himself up. After quickly gargling and flossing, he gave his haggard visage one last look. His dreary, dark eyes looked a bit less hollow than before.
“Welcome back to the world of the living,” Yoshikage greeted him as he walked into the living room. Josefumi answered with a small ‘hey’ as he sat where his full cactus-shaped coffee mug was awaiting. He took a small sip, followed by a couple of big gulps; the coffee inside was sweetened to perfection, and right by the cup was a little optional creamer cup. Josefumi giggled into the cup, now fully awake and overjoyed, but before he could even say a single word of thanks, Yoshikage placed a huge plate filled with various breakfast foods on his place mat. “I know you usually have rice for breakfast, but today you need extra calories in you,” he explained as he threw the pans and pots he used into the sink.
“Okay sure, it’s a lot but I’ll eat. Just let me get a glass of water first,” Josefumi said as an excuse to stealthily approach Yoshikage from behind. He left his empty mug in the sink too, and wrapped his arms around Yoshikage’s thin waist, whispering, “I wanted to wake up with another kiss from you.”
“I was about to go and wake you up, but heard you stir at 9:57, so I let it slide. Still, I’m not kissing you until you brush your tee–” Josefumi interrupted Yoshikage by sweeping him off his feet and planting a passionate kiss on his mouth. With only the bitter aftertaste of coffee on both of their mouths, Yoshikage allowed Josefumi’s tongue to slide past his lips and even pushed him a bit further by placing his hands on Josefumi’s buzz cut nape. “Hmm, you take your coffee too sweet. Now sit and eat,” Yoshikage concluded as he parted from the kiss, licking his lips.
“Thanks for the meal,” Josefumi mumbled so close to Yoshikage that he could feel the words on his own mouth. And with a smug air to his step, Josefumi walked back to his seat, completely forgetting about the water he’d supposedly wanted. He dug in with an unfathomable hunger, downing pancake after pancake like they were fun-sized. As he turned to the toasts, which were topped with scrambled eggs and margarine, Yoshikage produced a small fruit salad and a tall glass of orange juice from the fridge. “More?” was the only words he could utter as he kept stuffing himself. Yoshikage just nodded and urged him to keep going.
“It started raining a while ago, and it doesn’t seem it'll let out for a while so I've already called you a cab; it’ll be here at 10:45, so I guess you can take a quick shower before it arrives. And no, I’m not taking no for an answer, young man,” he interjected on himself as he saw Josefumi ready to object. With his brow knit and his mouth full of bread and fruit. “You’ll get there on-time, dry, rested, and well-fed. You’re welcome.”
Josefumi finished swallowing and took another big bite, he needed to make quick work of his breakfast if he wanted to attempt having a hairstyle today. Still, as he ate, he couldn’t help but stop every bite or so to gaze at Yoshikage with loving eyes. He had turned his attention to the dirty dishes Josefumi noted, as his delicate hands were now covered with the hefty lime green vinyl gloves he only donned for cleaning purposes. ‘Of course they’d be green,’ Josefumi laughed to himself as he downed the OJ in a couple of swigs. With only empty plates left, he piled them up and modestly placed them in the sink. Josefumi pecked Yoshikage’s cheek as he softly said, “Thank you.” Yoshikage pretended to ignore him and clearly failed, as an undeniable grin graced his lips.
***
“I’m home!” Josefumi announced, kicking his sneakers off with disdain. After standing quietly on his slippers for a beat, he had to haul himself through the entrance corridor, with no energy left on his body or soul. The exam had been brutal for every single student in that classroom, Josefumi was certain. Even the smartest cookies had their little panic attacks before and after it. And the regular folk just had their own crying spree or hyperventilating episode during the test, like normal people. Josefumi kept his distress in check, as he knew well how hard that particular subject would be, especially for him in his first year. But getting over it early might allow him to expedite his graduation, he figured, so he gave it his all anyways.
“Welcome home. How did it go?” Yoshikage inquired as he heard the front door swing open. He stared at the entrance until Josefumi’s head peeked out of the shadows. His hair looked damp, like he’d been rained on. “What happened to your umbrella?”
“A gust of wind blew it into the river,” Josefumi lied as he dragged his sorry self to the couch. What had actually happened was he’d given it to one of his classmates, a meek girl who had catastrophically failed the exam and spent half of the allotted examination time sobbing. She really needed more than he did, plus the rain mostly stopped by the time he decided to return to the flat. “That exam was murder. Premeditated murder. The teacher should go to jail, his hands are soaked in blood and… Oh, is that?" Josefumi's nose dragged him away from the promise of a cushy sofa and back into the kitchen area. His stomach groaned.
"Creamy Pasta Primavera?" Yoshikage wondered out loud with a cheeky air about him. He could see Josefumi salivating out of the corner of his eye. "Well, yes it is. There's no fooling you when it comes to herbs, huh? Now sit, I'll serve you a big portion. You deserve it, regardless of how the rest went," he continued as he drained the fresh pasta he’d put on the stove as soon as he heard Josefumi arrive. Yoshikage plopped nearly a pound of pasta on the bowl he had destined for young Josefumi Kujo and generously covered it in the vegetables laden cream sauce. Yoshikage’s own portion looked like a side dish in comparison. “Dig in.”
Josefumi didn’t hesitate to do so, he was famished after all. The exam period was 3 hours long, and the assistant teachers managed to get the class an extra half hour after witnessing the despair that filled the room. He later chose to walk back home to clear his head; he refused to bring any bad vibes into Kira-san’s place. Josefumi shovelled in the food like it was his last meal on Earth, and the soft, familiar flavour of the cream on the thin noodles nearly choked him up. He wished he’d been able to taste something this good as a child. On his part, Yoshikage just lovingly gazed at his roommate as he ate, cupping his own face while his portion stayed untouched.
"Kira-san, it's so delicious. How on Earth did you get half of these veggies, they’re out of season!" Josefumi exclaimed as he stopped for a moment, noting he’d downed half the plate in less than five minutes. He kept on going, this time pacing himself and swallowing carefully. "How did you know this is my favourite dish? And how did you make it so good, I've never had such a scrumptious serving… I'm seriously impressed."
"You told me… through your actions,” Yoshikage confessed, churning his food with the fork. “I noticed this was your go-to recipe for special occasions, or at least it's the base. I also noticed you've created an all-greens version for me, even down to the spinach pasta, which I absolutely love now." He took a bite out of his plate trying to judge his own culinary skill. And he had to admit, it had turned out pretty good.
"As sharp as ever, Kira-san. There's no fooling your power of observation, no secret is safe under your watchful eye," Josefumi declared with a soft, reassured smile on his face. “Good God, it's so good. Please show me how you did it, whatever you did I need to retrofit into my own recipe."
"We can cook it together some other day,” Yoshikage offered, still playing around with his portion. With an inquisitive tone, and whilst avoiding eye contact, Yoshikage dared to ask, “I'm a bit afraid to ask, but… is the story behind this dish good or bad for you? I can never tell, honestly." His fingers were jittering as he took a bite of his own plate.
"It's… both, I guess. Nothing in my past can be 100% good, right?” Josefumi bitterly acknowledge with a heavy sigh. But he refused to be the downer today, he hadn’t survived the trials of the exam period in vain, all he wanted was to spend some quality time with Kira-san. “But that doesn’t matter, nothing about my past matters to me anymore. Right now, I’m here with you, and all my memories of this delicious Creamy Pasta Primavera are being created this instant,” he proclaimed as he finished cleaning up the last of the cream off his plate. “Thanks for the meal!”
“I’m glad you liked it,” Yoshikage quietly thanked him as he placed Josefumi’s empty dish on the sink and served him a cup of warm green tea and a couple of tangerines. His own plate was still half full, but the curse of the cook was upon him; whenever you’re the one cooking, your hunger will subside. He thought of offering it to Josefumi, but he might end up thinking he was fattening him up, Yoshikage concluded.
“Kira-san, I, um…”Josefumi started fidgeting with the tangerine he had taken into his hands to peel. “I was wondering, are you– no. Err, do you have… plans? For tomorrow, I mean!” he managed to spat out after stumbling.
“Plans? No, why should I…” Yoshikage wondered and the pieces fell into place. “Oh, tomorrow’s Christmas Eve! I’d completely forgotten,” he admitted with no qualms, and he accepted the tangerine slice Josefumi offered him. The fruit was sweet and tangy, it reminded him of their first kiss. “I’m seldom on land for Christmas, so I’ve never paid much attention to it. So, do you want to do something for Christmas?”
“I do!” Josefumi stated out loud, almost as if he was trying to convince himself of his words. Yoshikage giggled at the sight of Josefumi’s flushed face. “I want us to go out and eat Christmas cake, go see the illumination on the central square, walk around at dusk, all of that. I want us to have a nice date because it's… Christmas is, y’know, a holiday for, um… couples,” he coily mumbled into the piece of tangerine he had over his lips. “We’re a couple, right?”
“We are,” Yoshikage agreed, his head slightly cocked to one side. The beaming smile Josefumi gave him felt like the sun finally coming out after weeks of overcast skies. “So you should stop calling me by my surname, don’t you think. I know I’m older, but as a couple we’re equals. C’mon, try it out. Because Kira-san won’t go out with you tomorrow, but Yoshikage will,” he finished with a smirk. Yoshikage knew this step might be difficult for Josefumi to take, but maybe if he presented it like this, he’d take a leap of faith and just go with it.
“Yosh– Yoshikage!” Josefumi basically yelled. He had inadvertently stood up to build his courage, and his exaggerated pose (fists clenched, face scrunched up, and eyes tightly closed) made Yoshikage chortle as he clapped for him. Josefumi heaved and joined in the laughter, figuring he must've looked ridiculous just now. “Oh, it started snowing after all,” Josefumi observed, looking out the window. A thin white sheet blanketed most of the neighbourhood.
“It’ll be a lovely date then, tomorrow's. I’m looking forward to it,” Yoshikage announced, winking and sending a kiss to his boyfriend over the kitchen counter. Elated, Josefumi physically felt like his heart was pierced by one of Cupid’s arrows.