Chapter Text
Touko was pacing back and forth throughout the classroom. They were supposed to meet up like… five minutes ago? Where was everyone else? Just in case, she revised her music sheet a couple more times until the others came, both as a refresher and for Rui’s sake.
Right. Rui… Before she knew it, her mind was swarmed with thoughts about Rui. Even through all the scrutiny she was put under by the violinist, she couldn’t help but feel entranced by her. How she played the violin with serene grace, how she was a refined and proper person, you might think she was a young adult instead of a first year. She didn’t even notice Mashiro and Nanami arriving at the classroom.
“One Nanami and one Mashiro, coming in~!” Nanami slammed the door open. Does this girl ever know subtlety? Touko’s heart rate and health depend on that; she nearly got a heart attack!
“N-Nanami! You’ll make the teachers upset…” A scared and worried Mashiro retorted. Nanami just giggled slightly and skipped through to Touko’s side.
“Hm~? Whatcha doing over there? Reading through your sheets so you can impress RuiRui?”
“It’s not like that, Nanami. I just felt like fully preparing myself before the others came.” Partially a lie, but also a truth. She did want to impress Rui just once, even if it took her a lifetime to do so.
“Uh-huh, sure you are~,” Nanami always had a habit of digging deeper into other people’s business. That’s how she found out Touko had a crush on Rui; and for a good while now. You could say she’s been a wingman of sorts to Touko. “Anyways, Shiro~ are you sure you’ll be okay? Your voice still sounds a bit hoarse, and overworking yourself is bad.” Mashiro had lost her voice a week ago, probably due to the excessive amount of training she had done. It was coming back, but there were still moments where it sounded raspy and forced. Nanami hopped over to Mashiro, enveloping her in a hug. Touko remembered that they were a couple, mostly because of the unorthodox way Nanami revealed it; by announcing it loud and clear to the entire classroom. Sounds like a Nanami thing when you think about it.
“I-I’ll be fine, I’m sure of it.” Was Mashiro pushing herself too hard again? Hopefully not. The three girls’ phones rang in unison with a notification from Tsukushi.
[09/11/20 17:30] Fusuke: Practice is off for today, still worried about Mashiro’s voice plus something came up and I can’t stay at school, sorry
[09/11/20 17:31] Rui <3: Understood. I shall remain in school grounds for fifteen more minutes until I close the student council’s office.
Don’t ask Touko about the heart next to Rui’s name. She will (lightly) bop you on the head. Ask Nanami, she can confirm this.
[09/11/20 17:33] Nanamiiiiii: got itttt, me and shiro will go on a date then~
[09/11/20 17:33] shiro: nanami!! don't say that so casually (*v.v)
Touko giggled, causing Mashiro to hide her face in embarrassment. Nanami grabbed Mashiro’s hand and waved Touko goodbye, leaving her alone in the classroom. Touko gathered her stuff, her backpack, guitar case and amp, and decided to text Rui.
[09/11/20 17:40] T0K0: hey rui, are you still busy??
She waited for a response, walking out of the classroom and into the school halls. They were empty, which, combined with the setting sun, was both warm and oddly creepy, to be honest. Her phone buzzed.
[09/11/20 17:43] Rui <3: I’m about to close the student council office. Why do you ask?
[09/11/20 17:44] T0K0: wanna hang out? i know a place we can go to
Touko was a bit nervous. Today was the day she was going to confess to Rui. After six months, she had obtained enough courage and she was ready. She just hoped everything would go smoothly.
[09/11/20 17:46] Rui <3: Are you going to take me to eat another ‘trendy’ thing, as always? If so, I’ll have to politely decline.
[09/11/20 17:47] T0K0: nono it won’t happen this time i promise, it’s a park near the school
[09/11/20 17:48] Rui <3: I’ll take your word for it then. I’m at the school gate.
[09/11/20 17:49] T0K0: oki!! omw <3
It took three minutes at most for Touko to arrive at the school gate. Rui was already there, the backlight of the setting sun hitting her in an angle that just made her more mesmerizing. Touko wanted to stop and look at the beauty in front of her, but that would probably make her uncomfortable.
“Yo, Rui! Sorry for making you wait a bit.” Touko greeted her bandmate, giving a small wave and nudging her shoulder. Rui just stared intently, cracking a very slight smile.
“It’s alright, please do not worry,” The taller girl always had a prim and proper aura, even when talking to those closest around her. “Shall we go?” She kept her smile.
Touko’s cheeks flushed almost immediately; it was rare for Rui to smile, but when she did, it entranced her. Her heart was literally beating as fast as Tsukushi’s drums — whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing is up to your discretion.
“O-Oh, yeah! I’ll uh, show the way!” Rui shifted from a smile and a radiant expression to one filled with confusion.
The two girls walked peacefully by a plaza, exploring the surrounding shops, even getting a couple of snacks. Touko went for some ice cream and Rui had no choice but to follow along. She was internally relieved to see it was just normal, non-trendy ice cream. With all the ‘trendy foods’ Touko likes to eat, it’s only a matter of time until she gets food poisoning.
As they both sat down to enjoy their cold treat, Touko exchanged some glances at Rui discreetly. It was obvious she was nervous about something, but the taller girl was oblivious as to what.
“Is something wrong?” The question caught Touko a bit off guard, making her hesitate for a minute.
“...Rui. I have something to tell you.” The sudden shift in Touko’s tone caught Rui’s attention, who was now staring at her, waiting for what she was about to say.
“I’m… thankful for how close we’ve been. I love everyone in Morfonica and being a part of the band has made my life a lot more fun. But you…” There was a bit of a pause, as if she was trying to remain calm. Rui didn’t know where this was going, but she still listened. “You’re… special. Thanks to all your scrutiny, I’ve grown as a guitarist and I can’t thank you enough for that. And I… I’ve wanted to tell you this for a while, but I was afraid that it would ruin our friendship.” A small chuckle came out of Touko’s mouth, it felt forced, but it lasted as quickly as it came.
“I’m in love with you. I… I hope you feel the same.”
Rui looked at the blonde, who was looking at her ice cream cone like she wanted to eat it but the anxiety wouldn’t let her — opting instead to watch it melt slowly. She breathed in and out, her hands starting to fidget. It’s obvious the blonde was nervous.
“Touko. I appreciate your honesty.” The blonde nervously looked up to meet Rui’s eyes. “However, if I may be blunt; relationships are too bothersome to deal with. I only consider you a friend, and nothing more. Love is a distraction, and I have no interest in indulging myself in it.” Rui felt… weird saying that. It wasn’t out of character for her to be honest, but something felt off about being like such right now. It was something Rui just couldn’t put her finger on.
Touko looked away from Rui’s eyes, trying to hide the tears starting to well up in them. She stood up.
“...I see.” Not looking back, she started to walk away from their seating, prompting Rui to stand up and follow after her. Touko just glanced back at her. “I’ll be going, then. See you tomorrow.”
Her voice was low, as if trying to hide a cry from Rui. She tossed the cone of ice cream into the garbage can — as it had already melted, before continuing to walk, and eventually run away. Rui watched as the blonde kept running farther and farther away from her. She wanted to chase her down to make sure she was okay, but her legs just froze up. A look of concern painted her face, and she started to feel conflicted. This was a new feeling to her — but it felt… wrong.
Touko’s heart felt like it had been ripped out and there was a hole where it used to be, with nothing to fill it. Tears streamed down Touko’s face as she ran away from the plaza and into her home, which wasn’t a great idea because she felt winded by the time she reached home. Nobody was around; her parents went out on a fancy dinner date. Her legs were close to giving up on her, but she managed to lock the door before going to her bedroom.
Once inside, her legs just gave up, making her limp down to the floor. She curled herself up in a ball, crying with no one to listen to her. She knew there could’ve been a chance she was shot down, so why does it… hurt so much?
Her phone rang with some notifications. It was Nanami messaging her. She was hesitant to answer, but she knew it was fruitless — Nanami would just keep sending messages anyways. She decided to respond.
[09/11/20 19:01] Nanamiiiii: heyy toukooooooooo (=^･ω･^=)
[09/11/20 19:04] T0K0: what
[09/11/20 19:04] Nanamiiiiii: u ok? i think i mightve seen you running away from the plaza near school but idk
Nanami saw her? Dammit, she’ll have to figure out a way to make her not talk about it.
[09/11/20 19:05] T0K0: probably someone else, i don’t know
There was a short pause from Nanami’s side. Touko’s thoughts went rampant throughout the conversation, talking with Nanami was some distraction, but it wasn’t helping too much either.
[09/11/20 19:09] Nanamiiiiii: are u srsly ok??
[09/11/20 19:10] T0K0: yeah why do you ask
[09/11/20 19:11] Nanamiiiiii: u seem off somehow and im getting worried
[09/11/20 19:12] Nanamiiiiii: its abt ruirui isnt it
Nanami always had a knack for knowing when Touko wasn’t feeling well. Was it all the constant venting to her about Rui? Probably. Touko didn’t want to answer, but she already knew what would happen.
[09/11/20 19:16] T0K0: yeah. she said no
[09/11/20 19:16] T0K0: i don't feel like talking right now, sorry
[09/11/20 19:17] T0K0: it just… it hurts so much right now
Nanami began typing. Then she erased what she wrote and tried again, as shown by the messaging app’s writing icon. It’s like she didn’t know what to do or what to say.
[09/11/20 19:25] Nanamiiiiii: im sorry you have to go through this, if you need someone to lean on, im here
[09/11/20 19:27] Nanamiiiiii: did that sound weird? idk i hope it didnt
Seeing that made Touko smile a tiny bit, even if her eyes kept crying.
[09/11/20 19:28] T0K0: it didn't, thank you nanami.
With that she shut off her phone, mustered the strength to get back up on her legs and get herself to bed. She didn’t even bother changing out of her uniform, tomorrow’s a Saturday, it’s not like it would matter.
She fell asleep rather quickly. Like her body demanded it no matter what.
A few hours later, she woke up to her phone buzzing. It definitely didn’t feel like she was being texted. She also heard noise from the living room, her parents were back and probably covered her in a blanket, like they usually do when Touko passes out. Who in the hell was calling her at this hou- Oh.
It’s Rui.
Touko was hesitant to pick up, but she knew that leaving Rui on hold like that wouldn’t make her look as a good friend.
If they still were that, to begin with.
She picked up, her voice being groggy from just being woken up by her crush at almost midnight; who rejected her, to add insult to injury. Guess she’ll have to list that off her bucket list.
“Hello…?” Touko rubbed her eyes. She was tired, she didn’t have the energy to keep the conversation going; much less when she had to hear the same voice that caused her pain a few hours ago.
“Touko. Are you alright?” A tone of concern came out of Rui’s lips.
“...Why do you ask? It’s almost midnight, Rui. Shouldn’t you be asleep?”
There was silence for a few moments, like if the taller girl was trying to find the right words to say, but had to be extremely careful, lest she break Touko again.
“I talked to Nanami. She told me you weren’t feeling well, and I begun to worry.”
Nanami told her? She knew her and Rui were close, but she didn’t expect that to happen.
“I’ll… I’ll be fine.” A blatant lie. Her voice cracked up at ‘fine’. Please don’t notice it, please don’t.
“You’re lying.” The tall girl pointed out, her blunt demeanor never seemed to soften.
Dammit. She’s always able to read her like an open book.
Touko went silent for a bit. She had to sort her thoughts and frankly Rui calling her at the peaks of night wasn’t helping.
“Touko. Talk to me, please.” Rui pleaded. Was that a hint of desperation in her voice? She couldn’t tell.
“What else is there to say?” Touko’s voice choked up. “That I’m doing fine? That I’m not feeling even the slightest tinge of sadness after what happened?” The dam slowly began to break. It was ruptured already, even with her best efforts to keep it from breaking. “There’s nothing else to say, Rui. Absolutely nothing. You already said your piece.” Tears began to stream down Touko’s face once more, with choked sobs to follow them. Rui kept silent and just heard Touko’s cries.
“Touko…” Rui was at a loss for words. Comforting others was never her strong suit. All she ever learned was that nothing was as meaningful as practicing the violin or music. Always aim for the top; disregard everything else.
“I’m sorry to break it to you Rui; but you can’t expect someone to feel ‘okay’ in the slightest after some things happen. It just… doesn’t work like that.”
“...I apologize. I need some space to think.” A sigh left Touko’s lips as she tried to calm down from her outburst. She could only apologize for it.
“I’m tired. Good night, Rui.” With that, she hung up, turning off her phone and putting it on her nightstand. Maybe it was the sudden outburst but she felt like all the energy had been removed from her. She just wanted to sleep.
Tomorrow’s another day. Whether it’ll be a good day or a bad one, Touko doesn’t care.
It would still be the same regardless.