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“You want me to go to your school dance with you?”
It’s not as much of a question but as a way to make sure that Sylvain had heard Felix right. If he had learned anything about the man in the 2 months that the two had started dating it was that Felix had drawn a clear line between Sylvain and the rest of his life. Sylvain would admit that at first it stung a little but over time he had come to learn that not only was it because Felix wasn’t openly gay in his life but also because Felix just sucked at being open about anything.
“God when you say it, it makes it sound stupid” the younger man mumbled, a blush creeping up his face every second that passed by without Sylvain answering.
“Alright” Sylvain smiled big and unguarded, leaning forward on his desk to smile at the webcam. “I’d love that Fe, of course, as long as we wear matching suits.”
“You’re fucken ridiculous.” His boyfriend reverted back to his prickly self, that alone made Sylvain laugh like usual.
That had also been something he had had to get used to about Felix. When the two first met it was at a science fair four years ago (because of course it was in some dumb location like that). The stupid competition (as Felix called it) was manadatory for all grade levels in the Faerghus School District. Sylvain had been in 8th grade and Felix had been a 7th grader, both from completely different schools, and the two just so happened to be competing in the same category. Naturally, Sylvain instantly liked the man and tried to be friendly with him but Felix, in all his true and natural prickliness, refused any kind of interaction with him.
Which Sylvain wasn’t entirely unsurprised by it, everyone in that entire competition had been avoiding him. He wasn’t being serious about it, he had even made the ill advised joke and said that he was just here to pass his science class and hadn’t even tried to get this far in the competition (which was a lie, he had spent months trying to come up with a proper experiment and even longer to execute it). This was his biggest mistake because everyone there was deathly serious about the competition. After all, winners usually ended up getting scholarships to big name Universities. So when Sylvain wasn’t taking anything serious and was basically treating the whole thing as a joke well, no one liked him. There were a few that humored him but for the most part he was just stuck standing by his overly decorated — holy shit he’s was the only one that has colors — board which just so happened to be right next to Felix’s
Sylvain had a project testing out what kind of saliva breaks down food the fastest between human, cat, and dog. While Felix had a project was testing out the different ways that blood clots depending on impact. They were both put in the anatomy category — and they were the only ones in the category much to Sylvain’s shock. And yes, they were both in different grade levels which felt a bit unfair to Sylvain but at the same time everyone around them had basically already deemed Felix a winner since his project was more “advanced” so he figured that being a higher grade didn’t immediately give him the upper hand.
And then he had been declared winner of the category. Apparently, he had the better presentation even if Felix’s project was cooler.
Naturally he was floored by that decision but still took the trophy with a smile and felt elated by it, that was at least until Felix came stomping up to him and demanded for a rematch (not the best word choice in Sylvain’s opinion) and basically threatened to gut Sylvain if he didn’t do another anatomy project next year because, to quote Felix directly, “I will wipe that stupid grin off your face next time I win.”
What Felix didn’t account for though was that the next year Sylvain was in the highschool category and Felix wasn't, still for some god forsaken reason, Sylvain had done another anatomy project and he had also won then too. Felix had also won in his category but that hadn’t stopped the younger man to run over to him after the award ceremony and tell him that he would beat him even if it was the last thing he did and that for some reason had made Sylvain laugh so hard that he ended up wheezing. Felix obviously hated that and kicked him in the shins. Sylvain still was laughing after he stormed off.
When the next year came around, Sylvain wasn’t even fully at his table when Felix showed up and demanded to know what he did this year. Of course, Sylvain happily showed him and for the first time since he had been forced to do those stupid science fair competitions, he had someone to talk to before it began. Even after he finished talking he simply followed Felix to his table and had him explain what he had done. Of course they only had so much time to talk before everything began and so they weren’t able to talk more than just science stuff but that was fine, Sylvain still had fun and at the end of the day, and his day only got better when he was the one that had won in his category, once again beating Felix. That obviously pissed off Felix enough to track him down and tell I’m that next year he was going to win and to “watch your back Gautier”.
However, science fair after sophomore year wasn’t necessarily mandatory for Sylvain, in his school at least. He had the option to back out and not do it anymore, most if not, everyone took that option in a heartbeat and at first Sylvain had. Deciding that spending his afternoons with friends and dating was much more fun than spending his weekend doing research about whatever came to mind. He had practically forgotten everything to do with the science fair for the first 3 months of the school year, well that was at least until he ran into Felix while he was at the mall with some friends.
Naturally he went to say hi the younger man because they might be rivals in Felix’s eyes but Sylvain did at least think the guy was nice to be around. Of course his fuck up was that Felix would see him as anything other than a rival because the minute they started talking Felix demanded to know what his project was so that “I don’t do the same shit as you and the fight is actual worth something”.
Felix nearly bashed his head in when he found out Sylvain wasn’t going to participate that year.
Felix did certainly grab him by the ear and told him off for being an idiot and that he wanted, no, demanded that Sylvain participate because “I have to beat you, you half wit dumbass!” Needless to say, the next day when he walked into his science class he asked his teacher to let him participate. It wouldn’t be until way later that Sylvain would notice that the only reason he had done that was because he had been reminded how much he actually enjoyed talking to Felix (even if the jerk was cussing him out the entire time) and that maybe, just maybe, there was more to his feelings for his “rival”.
And despite Sylvain’s late start, he won that year too.
Felix had been so livid about it that he nearly yanked the trophy from Sylvain’s hands and bashed it to the ground. The redhead had never seen the guy be so genuinely frustrated that he tried to at least console the guy, telling him that it was just because he was older that he was winning. That if anything, had just made things worse because Felix felt like that was a gap he would never be able to bridge which made him even more pissed off. Angry enough to actually demand Sylvain to teach him all that he knew so that next year it was a “fair fight”. And so that was the exact moment that Sylvain gave him his phone number and the exact moment when they both went from rivals to friends.
Of course that didn’t really do much more than them becoming friends because despite all their “lessons”, once the science fair rolled around the next year, Sylvain won that one too. Mainly it was because Sylvain wanted to make his last year in the competition mean something (i.e. a scholarship would be nice) but also because somewhere along the way, he didn’t want to ever lose to Felix. He was his rival after all. Can anyone really blame him for pulling out the big guns for the last time they would be competing? No. But it certainly did make it so that Felix hated his guts for a loooong time, we’re talking the entire summer of just one word replies to his text, kind of hate. Still, the two didn’t stop actually talking even though it was almost expected of them.
And then Sylvain moved away for college and on the day of him going to his first house party, bad decision after bad decision and too many drinks, Sylvain called Felix and drunkenly told him that he liked him. Felix had hung up then and it wasn’t until the next morning that he was sober that Sylvain realized he had fucked up. But it was fine, he told himself, it was just some guy he had a weird rivalry with. Just a small crush and nothing more. No need to cry over someone like him, he said as he cried about him to his roommate two nights later.
Four days passed since his drunken confession when his phone rang at the ungodly hour of 3 am and Sylvain was nearly castrated by his dorm mate for it as he ran out of the room. He was still yawning by the time Felix told him that he liked him too and that of course, Sylvain was a dumbass for confessing while drunk. It had been 2 months now since then and Sylvain was still giddy about his relationship with the man.
“When is it?” Sylvain asked, grabbing a bag of chips from his secret stash and munching on them. Future him would regret eating junk food so late at night but current him didn’t give a shit.
“Don’t know I would have to ask a friend,” Felix sighed. “I didn’t even want to go but they kept bothering me about it.”
Sylvain smiled, “yeah I mean who goes to their senior homecoming dance am I right?” He got a glare for that one. “I’m joking babe” he chuckled, “you know I didn’t go to mine so I get it, I do.”
The younger man rolled his eyes, “whatever, I have to because they ratted me out to my older brother and now he’s forcing me to go.”
“Why am I not surprised that your friends stooped low enough to get him involved” Sylvain mused before leaning forward. “You know it kind of sounds to me like they want it to be a friend get together though. Kind of like a, ‘only us can go’ kind of thing.”
“No they‘re all bringing dates. They even tried to get me to ask someone in my math class” Felix scrunched his nose up in a way that made Sylvain entirely too pissed off that he was hundreds of miles away from his boyfriend and he couldn’t kiss him.
“Well you usually do need a date for those kinds of things” Sylvain hummed, though part of him felt jealous at the implication of Felix going with anyone that wasn’t him.
“Hence why I asked” Felix huffed, looking away from the camera and even with Felix’s shitty webcam, Sylvain could see the blush that was dusting over Felix’s cheeks. “Kind of thought going with you would be the logical thing to do.”
“I mean I won’t lie and say that you wouldn’t have gotten the silent treatment from me if you had gone with anyone else.” Felix rolled his eyes at that but his lips twitched in the way Sylvain knew was Felix trying desperately not to smile. “I mean, a bit fucked if you don’t take your boyfriend right?”
“A bit fucked if said boyfriend doesn’t show up” Felix retorted, smirking at Sylvain.
“Well said boyfriend needs to know the date to drive back up to Fhirdiad to make sure he can take you to homecoming” Sylvain teased.
“How far is the drive?”
“About 10 hours, 9 if I speed,” Sylvain shrugged. “I can stay for three days so that way I don’t keel over.”
“Can’t you just get your dad to buy you a plane ticket?” Felix frowned.
“That requires me to be on talking terms with him Fe” Sylvain chuckled nervously, he hadn’t talked to his father since he had decided to pack his things and go to GMU and study microbiology instead of going to Fhirdiad university to study for business. It hadn’t been a very well received decision and so Sylvain figured that yes he hadn’t been disowned like his brother, but he wasn't loved either at the moment.
“So then where are you going to be staying?”
That was a very good question that Sylvain had not thought about at all since he had agreed to heading over. “Uh.. hotel room?”
Immediately Felix sighed, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring to something out of frame. The younger man stayed quiet before hesitantly speaking up, “you don’t have to come. It’s fine. It’s just a stupid dance anyways.”
“Fe-“
“No it’s fine I mean it” Felix quickly cut him off before looking back at Sylvain. “I don’t even want to go anyways so I’ll probably just sneak off when no ones looking.”
“What if I want to go?” Felix just shrugged. Sylvain could already tell that the younger boy had closed himself off, meaning that no matter what he said, Felix would still say no. He sighed, “alright Fe, if you say so but seriously, I don’t mind the drive.”
“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”
That was the problem though, it had now been two weeks since that talk and Sylvain was still worrying about it. Felix hadn’t brought it up again, at least not in the ‘the two of us are going’ sense and more as in the ‘my friends are annoying and won’t stop talking about it’ sense. That alone drove Sylvain crazy because he knew that Felix just bringing it up during their video calls was enough of a sign that it was bothering the younger man. That it was bothering him that Sylvain couldn’t go and that he was now forced to do this without him. But Sylvain knew that logically, he couldn’t fix that for Felix.
The dance was on Friday which meant that if he drove there he would have to leave Thursday morning which meant he would miss two days of school and then be forced to drive back Sunday morning and pray that he would be able to finish his homework by the time Monday came around. He would only be there Friday and Saturday which was fine, though if he was honest he could just leave Saturday and be nicer to himself but he also knew that one day with Felix would not be enough (they hadn’t seen each other in person since they had started dating after all). Of course that wasn’t even covering for the money he would have to spend to make that reality come true. The gas would kill him, the hotel wouldn’t be cheap, and the suit he would have to buy would also make a dent to his wallet. And obviously he would have to buy Felix flowers and presents because that was the only logical thing to do duh. All in all, it was a far fetched dream.
And then Felix asked him if it was okay if he went to the dance with his friend named Ashe and Sylvain nearly cried. It was just a friend, Felix assured him that much. That Ashe needed a date and so did he and so it was just two friends going together out of convenience and nothing more. That obviously didn’t stop Sylvain from getting so unnecessarily jealous that he was lashing out at everyone and anyone around him. Even his roommate had to deal with his anger because just the mental image of someone dancing with Felix was enough to make him crazy.
He didn’t tell Felix that though, that would be selfish of him and obviously he didn’t want Felix to go alone to the dance but it sure as hell had been the hardest thing to type out ‘okay that’s fine’ to Felix. And he guessed that maybe he had taken too long or maybe he hadn’t typed it out right because Felix immediately called him afterwards. Sylvain tried his best, really he did, he tried his hardest to convince Felix that it was okay and that he should go have fun. And it was because he tried his best that Felix actually believed him and now Sylvain was eating his fourth tub of ice cream because his boyfriend was going on a date with someone that wasn't him. Was he overreacting about his boyfriend, who he has only dated for 2 months mind you, going on a date with a friend that he has known for years and is obviously not interested in him? Yes. Yes he was. Hence the fourth tub of ice cream.
“Sylvain that’s disgusting” his roommate leered at him, entering the dorm room and looking at Sylvain as if he was closer to a roach than human.
“Hi Lorenz, so nice to see you” Sylvain sarcastically greeted the man before shoving another spoon full of ice cream into his mouth.
Lorenz sighed, looking around their shared room and then back at Sylvain. “You don’t even like cookie dough Sylvain. And yet you have managed to eat 4 tubs of it.”
“That’s all they had at the store,” Sylvain mumbled.
“Is this still about your boyfriend going to some dance with his friend?”
“It’s NOT just some dance” Sylvain snapped back. “And it isn’t just any friend it’s a guy friend that is actually gay.” Oh yeah, when he had remembered that Ashe was one of Felix’s gay friends he had practically cried on the spot, that was the main reason why he had bought 4 tubs instead of 2.
Lorenz rolled his eyes, taking his coat off and walking over to his side of the room to grab a change of clothes. “Uh-huh. Well, if it bothers you just tell him.”
“And then what? Have Felix go alone? No that’s too selfish even for me” Sylvain sighed, having another spoonful of ice cream.
“Then you go with him.”
“I CANT” he groaned. “We’ve been over this Lorenz!”
“You have been over this, I simply have been living comfortably in my dorm and using your voice as background noise” the man rolled his eyes before turning to look at the redhead. “Look. Just go to the dance, you know you’ll hate yourself if you don’t and god knows I need a weekend where I can get some peace and quiet.”
“I take offense to that.”
“As you’re supposed to.” Lorenz sighed, “just go. You’re being pathetic about this and it isn’t a good look for you Gautier.”
“It isn't a good look for you Gautier” Sylvain mocked his voice before sticking his tongue out at the man.
Thing was…. Lorenz was right. Being pathetic was not a good look for him and soon enough everyone started noticing it. Even people that didn’t necessarily like him asked him if he was okay. It was only until Hubert himself came and asked if he was doing okay that Sylvain realized that he had a massive problem, the man hated anyone and everyone so the fact that he asked Sylvain if he was okay said a lot about his current state. Still, it wasn’t like he could just do what he wanted….
Well, scratch that, he was doing exactly that at the current moment. Having drunk enough for his brain to faze out the lines of ‘rational’ and ‘irrational’ and now was booking a hotel for two days one night with his father's credit card. Would he get in trouble for that? Oh yeah definitely. Was the dance in literally two days which meant that Sylvain had one day to figure out how to not only get to Faerghus but also be able to take Felix to this stupid dance? Yup. Was he cutting it close by literally arriving the day of the dance and then leaving the next morning? Indeed! And did he have any semblance of a plan? Absolutely not. Not even a little mini plan.
Still. The deed was done and the next morning Sylvain was dragging Lorenz to go and try and buy himself a suit that was okay enough for the dance. Stopping by other stores to buy Felix any presents that caught his eye (specifically a little samurai cat plushie that had a sword because that screamed Felix). And it was only once he was loading up all of his things for the trip that Sylvain realized that he had never once texted Felix anything about this. Actually. He hadn’t texted Felix in two days and he had even missed a call from him. Sylvain cursed at himself, having been too busy figuring everything out that he hadn’t been paying attention to his phone. And it was way too early to call him now, it was 8 in the morning Felix’s time (5 his but fuck sleep right?).
He mentally made himself a note to call Felix in one of his stops and then started the long and horrible drive to Fhirdiad. It was a straight road all the way to the city and it was the worst thing that could happen to any sleep deprived unlucky bastard that was trying to keep himself up and alert. He didn't even have the luxury of having nice “sightseeing” landscapes, the road he had to take was just a densely forested area which meant it was just pines and that was it. Nothing more to see here folks! It was agony. He had also forgotten that there was also no signal the entire way there so he was stuck listening to radio static and his thoughts and that was it.
He was miserable the entire way.
But 10 hours later, Sylvain was finally in Fhirdiad and feeling happier already, quickly heading over to the hotel to check in and take a few minutes to shower and get ready. Of course the minute he had gotten there he had tried to call Felix but was met with his voicemail and his texts were left unanswered but Sylvain figured that he deserved that. It was fine. He would make it up to him anyways.
An hour later and a makeover later (he had to admit that he looked damn good in a suit) and he was getting into his car again to head over to Felix’s house. Thankfully for him, he knew that address, being that he loved sending Felix cheesy handwritten letters since it annoyed Felix but also made the man get so unbelievably flustered when they arrived. It was cute. He was cute. Felix was so fucken cute, enough that Sylvain was back in his car despite having been in it for 10 hours already. Of course, it was night time already and he would have preferred if Felix knew he was coming instead of just showing up out of the blue but he figured that there was some semblance of romance to just showing up as a surprise, though he did feel bad that he was stealing Ashe’s date for the night (as if he felt bad, he was nice but not that nice. He was practically smirking at the idea of Ashe not having Felix tonight).
He was smiling, he couldn’t help it! He was happy and excited. That happiness followed him as he pulled up to Felix’s house and right up until Sylvain was knocking on the front door. He was practically vibrating in his spot by the time the door swung open and— it wasn’t Felix. It looked like Felix but it wasn’t Felix.
“Can I help you” the guy asked, glaring at Sylvain and eyeing him weirdly, which was fair. He was in a suit and had flowers in his hand.
“Is Felix here” he asked, his voice cracking slightly.
“Who’s asking?”
“Oh yeah, sorry. I’m Sylvain” he smiled at the guy, scratching the back of his neck. He was nervous now, he was so nervous and it was all this guy's fault for looking at him like he was just some prey to munch on.
“Sylvain?” the man slowly asked, clearly never having heard of him which stung a little….. It stung a lot actually but Sylvain could pout about that later.
“Uh yeah, is he here?” He asked, trying to skip over the whole ‘yeah I’m dating him, have been for a while’ talk because that was something Felix should do, not him.
“Well he isn’t here” the guy continued to look at him warily. “He just left.”
Instantly his heart shattered to a hundred pieces. He was late. He was too late. His face must have shown that because suddenly the man was looking at him different, a kind of understanding in his eyes. But Sylvain quickly masked it all up, this wasn’t the time or the place to have a pity party. It just wasn’t meant to be, he told him. It wasn’t meant to be and that was fine.
“Ah okay that’s — that’s fine” he chuckled dryly. “Um well sorry for bothering you.”
The man frowned at him but didn’t say anything so Sylvain just waved him goodbye and walked back to his car and drove off. He felt… numb. He knew that once he got back to the hotel that that would probably change and that he would most likely get really depressed and maybe even angry about it but for now. He didn't feel anything. He didn’t feel anything as he parked his car in the hotel, didn’t feel anything as he took the elevator to his room, he didn’t feel anything as he took off the suit. It wasn't until he was laying in bed that he felt something, but it wasn't sadness or anger. He was just tired, he was exhausted both physically and mentally. Too exhausted to feel anything but that and so as he closed his eyes, all he thought about was how tired he was.
He didn’t sleep for long, he woke up about 30 minutes later with his phone buzzing violently in his nightstand. At first he had ignored it but it just kept vibrating and vibrating to the point that Sylvain grabbed it, fully intending to throw it across the room but it was the caller ID that stopped him.
Felix.
Sylvain watched it continue ringing until it stopped, the lock screen of his phone appearing and showing (5) missed calls from Fe ♡♡, only for his phone to start ringing again. Sylvain breathed in, fatigue still plaguing his mind but not enough to make him shut his phone off and ignore Felix. After the third buzz, he picked up.
“Fe?” He hadn’t meant to yawn the minute he picked up but fatigue was still making sure that he knew it was there still.
“Sylvain?” Felix was breathless, he sounded like he had run a marathon. “Where are you?” He wasn’t breathless, he was panicking.
“Fe what’s wrong” he immediately asked, fatigue quickly forgotten as he sat up.
“Where are you?”
“Felix are you okay you’re freak-“
“Where are you dammit!” Felix snapped before breathing out shakily. “Are you still here? Are you— did you leave?”
The events of what had happened earlier quickly flashed through his mind, a reminder of why he was even in a hotel to begin with and why he was alone. Of course Felix freaked out, he had probably been told about Sylvain stopping by and thought that he had left. That he was hurt enough to just leave.
“Yeah,” he breathed out, rubbing his face with his hand. “I’m still here Fe, just in the hotel sleeping.”
“What hotel?”
He chuckled slightly, “it’s fine Fe. You’re at the dance already, go and have fun with your friends,” he smiled. “I’ll still be here in the morning. I wasn’t going to leave without saying goodbye.”
“Dammit Sylvain just tell me where you are” Felix yelled out in frustration. “Just fucken tell me the hotel, i don’t care about the stupid fucken dance.”
“Whoa hey it’s okay” Sylvain immediately tried to soothe the man, hearing the clear distress in his voice. “Fe it’s okay.”
“It’s not okay you idiot. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming” Felix whispered, small and broken.
Sylvain was immediately on his feet and putting his clothes back on. “Hey it’s fine baby I promise” he whispered as he put his shoes on fully ready to drive over to Felix’s house and comfort the man. “It’s fine it was my fault for not telling you. I lost reception on my drive here so by the time I called you it was late” he continued.
“Glenn didn’t tell me you were at the fucken door. I was still here,” Felix whispered. “I was upstairs..”
Sylvain chuckled slightly, “your brother’s an ass.”
“Sylvain..”
“Hey it’s fine” Sylvain quickly replied. “Look, I can drive over later. I doubt your dad wants you to be anywhere but at the dance right now.”
“My dad doesn’t give a shit” Felix mumbled. “Plus I’m already out, I’ve been driving around trying to find you.”
“Wait Fe are you driving right now?” Silence. “Felix!”
“Just tell me where you are okay!?”
Sylvain groaned, “I’m in the Blue Lions Hotel. And i swear to the goddess Felix if you look up the address while you driv-“
“I know where it is. I’ll be there soon” that was all Felix said before hanging up.
Sylvain sighed. He was still very obviously tired, but the excitement he had felt before was slowly creeping back in because yes he hadn’t been able to take Felix to the dance but he was going to see him now anyways. It had been months since they had seen each other so the fact that he was going to see him now was all that mattered to him. Quickly he ran over to the restroom to make himself at least look semi hot for his boyfriend, yes he didn’t have any other clothes apart from the ones he drove up here with and the suit but he made due with what he had. Styling his hair and fixing himself up to the point that he could say he was somewhat decent all things considered.
He sat back down on the bed, pulling out his phone. 8 pm. Serios, Felix was really going to miss the dance wasn’t he? He really hoped that Felix had actually gotten permission instead of him just deciding to leave without telling anyone. He didn’t want Felix to get in trouble for his sake after all. Still. He was excited to see his boyfriend, his excitement only growing once he got the text from Felix that he was here and asking what floor he was in. He was pacing by the time Felix knocked on his door. Sylvain practically ripped the door from the frame before immediately hugging the younger man.
“I miss you Fe” he breathed out, nuzzling into the man's neck.
“Idiot” Felix mumbled but Sylvain didn’t miss the way that he clinged to him tighter. Felix pulled away then and closed the room door. “What the hell were you thinking coming here and not telling me?!”
“It was supposed to be a surprise! And I told you, I tried to call but the reception was bad and then you didn’t answer my calls when I got here” Sylvain pouted.
“I was with Annette” Felix huffed, looking away and it was only then that Sylvain saw the remnants of makeup on the boy's face. His hair was pulled back in a braid and Sylvain thought Felix was beautiful already but he was awestruck at how he looked now.
“You’re missing your dance Fe” Sylvain whispered, taking a step forward to press his hand on the man’s cheek.
“I told you that I didn’t give a shit about the dance” Felix mumbled before hesitantly looking up at Sylvain. “Plus I rather be with you.”
That made Sylvain instantly smile, “I mean the plan was to do both those things.”
Felix rolled his eyes, “uh-huh well my dumbass brother ruined that so it’s just this now” he mumbled, taking a step forward and looking down at their feet.
Sylvain hummed quietly, wrapping his arms around the younger man’s waist, “I’m not complaining” he whispered, kissing Felix’s cheek causing the boy to blush almost instantly. “You look really beautiful Fe.”
“You’re dumb” Felix mumbled before looking up at him. “But I’m glad you’re here” he whispered before shifting his head to lock his lips with Sylvain’s. And suddenly, the 10 hour drive was more than just worth it.