Work Text:
When we are developing on our mother's womb, sleep have a large and great part to our development. We were sleep for 9 months or even less, it depends on how circumstances do happen. Once we are delivered outside, we were taught that in order for us to grow bigger, larger, and wiser — we need enough sleep to grow the way the elders tells us.
In short, sleeping and waking up was part of lifestyle routine. Various researches shows that lack of sleep results to a failing health same goes to sleeping too much. It does not go in-between. So where do people will put their place if they are suffering both symptoms of declining health?
At such a young age, Fluke Natouch never thought that he will get into a muddle puddle of goo where sleeping and waking up seems so much scary and dangerous. He can't sleep at night without thinking if he'll still be able to wake up with oxygen running through his lungs. He can't wake up at morning without thinking how to sleep again when the sun bid its goodbye.
Everything's putting up into his mind and hence, also his chest. It makes things more heavier to handle that sometimes all he wanted to do is to finally rest and never wake up again.
"Hello? 911??! There's an emergency here at [location]. Someone lose their consciousness!!" it is the first and last thing Fluke heard before air finally left his chest and his mind immediately turns dark.
•••••••••••
"Are you the guardian of the patient?"
"No. But I was the one who brought him here since I saw him lying beside the bus stop."
Fluke stirred when he heard a monotone voice talking not far from his bed side. He just woke up but he feels so tired all over and over... again. He raised his hand to touch his head but found discomfort when he felt a set of syringe on the back of his palm
He suddenly felt nauseaous and he felt like throwing up as set of muffled screams began to rise above his throat, making it hard to breathe for him.
"W-what!? What is this!!?" hysteria started to cloud his mind. His feels like his nervous system is about to break down, like how it usually does. He have been avoiding hospitals ever since he learned about his health situation. He never step back his foot here again. And he swore to his life that even if he'll take his last breathe, he will never be here.
Not when this place reminded of him how cruel the world is. How cruel the fate is when it comes to him. How cruel... how cruel he is to feel like shit.
"Mister, mister calm down." A set of cold touch makes things more hard for him. He looked up and he saw a set of people in their white lab-coats trying to calm him down but no, it will never calm him down. It risen up his struggles more. It sucks. It really sucks.
"P-please!! Le-let me go!!" all he could mutter and he felt a set of tears slowly falling down his cheeks. Agonizingly slow. His tears are hot and numbing. Seeping him right through his inner soul. Slowly eating him and never letting him go.
"Excuse me, wait, excuse me! I think you're hurting him more!" a set of new voice interrupted. It sounds familiar. And he realized it is the voice of the man who helped him when he fainted just a few moments, or hours, or maybe days now.
All of a sudden, breezing cold atmosphere were out of his senses and all he could feel is a set of warm feelings. He sobbed as he shakingly crumpled the shirt that covering his chest. His heart is pumping slowly the way his tears flows. It sucks. It really sucks.
"Hey, hey. It's fine now. Calm down, yes. It's fine now." The voice is suprizingly calming. It is as soft as silk that was metaphorically used by upper gods and goddesses.
"W-why..." was Fluke all could say. He felt hands hesitantly touching his head and he found himself snuggling to the touch. It's the first time in a thousand of years someone laid their hands for him.
"It's fine now. No need to worry."
•••••••••••
Ohm Thitiwat have been studying on medicine field for few years now. He was able to ace the exams and even pass the licensures to be officially licensed and be part of the government organizations for outstanding future heralds to develop and improve medicine.
Except for the fact that he doesn't enjoy the course. He wants to be a pilot, or a steward, or even the one who works for the technicalities of the plane, anything as long as he works at the aviation field. But to his dismsy, his parents do not support him.
His family is on the line of medicine. As it became a tradition now, all of them goes in the line of the field of medicine. Whether its humans, animals, microbiology, as long as the 'doctor blood' be passed down generation to generation.
So he never thought that after years of working as a doctor through relief operations, he never think of stepping inside the hospital again. It somewhat feels nostalgic but at the same time, it brings out this buried anger that shouldn't even be there because it doesn't make sense. It is his family traditions fault and not anyone else, or maybe himself. For being too coward to fight for what he wants, what he love.
"Excuse me, wait, excuse me! I think you're hurting him more!" he can't manage to just stand there at the side and watch as the man he helped was already struggling because of maybe, stress and overwhelming situation. The patient was obviously suffering a sudden panic attack just by its reaction when he saw the syringe. Just by the way his pulse beat when Ohm checked his pulse rate, the man have a medical condition.
The other doctors stepped back and he talked to them that he'll just be in-charge for the said patient for today.
"Hey, hey. It's fine now. Calm down, yes. It's fine now." Ohm was quite shock to himself when his voice comes out softer. He didn't even know that he could get his voice softer as he was somewhat who have a deep voice. But when he sensed that it helped the patient to calm down, he felt a sense of pride.
As a doctor who have gone to a place where are deeply affected by wars and crisis, panic attacks seems so normal for Ohm now. Giving first aid and at the same time assuring and calming them down that things will eventually get okay and better where on the very first page of his vocabulary.
"It's fine now. No need to worry." when he laid his hand on the top of the head of the man who is a crying mess now, he realize how fragile the man feels like. His hair that looks rough is undeniably soft and silky. It feels warm too.
Few more minutes passed by, silence and comfort sat between them. The patient cleared his throat.
"Uhm... thank you." Ohm finally let go from the touch as he stand from the bed to keep a safe distance from him and the stranger.
"Are you doing fine now?" he asked as he examined the latter. He looks so small especially on that a bit large and wide hospital bed.
"I am." short answers was all he could ever receive from the smaller that didn't even gave him a glance. Ohm licked his lips without even batting an eyelash. These were a normal reactions from the patient so not shocking now by any chance.
"How long I am asleep?" the smaller asked and Ohm tilted his head to the side.
"Just an hour."
"Wow." is the reaction he earned from the patient and he can't help but to furrow his eyebrow because of the expression he got. The patient do obviously looks so shock even if his voice hold nothing but expressionless tone.
"May I kindly know your name so that I can inform the nurse—"
"I want to leave." Ohm was not able to finish his sentence when the latter cutted him with a cold and firm voice.
"But is it—"
"I want to leave." he can suddenly hear a large wall falling down between them as the patient moved its head to look at him. The very first time Ohm saw his face. Angelic and lively as his skin was similar to any porcelain dolls from the antique shops. Small lips, high nose, large eyes... but dead.
It is blank as a white canvas. Large circles are noticeable below its eyes.
"No." Ohm saw how the latter's eyes becomes larger than it is when he heard his words. Well, it also goes the same with him. He was shocked when he said that. But there's no turning back now.
"You're not leaving unless you're doing fine. You will be under my care." he said firmly as he got his phone and sent a quick text message to his cousin to set things for his upcoming impulsive plans that he just did right then and there. He can clearly see how the angelic face of the patient, were crumpled into furrowed eyebrows as confusion and irritation gets to him.
"What? You can't held me here like a captive! I can leave whenever I want! What are you? Doctor? Tsk."
"I am a doctor." that brought the patient to open his mouth in a shock state but immediately closed it to hide his embarrassment but the faint rose tint on his neck and red goes noticeable.
"I will not force you to tell me your name but you will stay here till you recover."
"Now, you care? And do you think I will recover? Dream on. Just let me go and don't bother anymore." the latter suddenly grabbed the syringe harshly out of his skin. He winced as the pain sent straight to his declining nervous system. Ohm gritted his teeth as he's trying to compose his patience because of the stubborn patient.
The latter abruptly stand up but then his body betrayed him when he felt his legs that are now soft as jelly. Ohm was fast enough to catch the smaller. He can't help to grimace when he held the patient that is almost light as a feather.
"You can leave when your limbs are not wobbly as if a toddler owns it." he can't help himself but to give a harsh remark to the patient. He felt the patient pinch him on his arm but he didn't bother since it was not really painful.
"As I said, you can leave when you recover. You can call your relatives to get your things from home." Ohm said as he readies himself to leave to meet people who he have set appointments through text a moment ago.
"Would you really think I'll be suffering here if I have relatives??" the smaller sarcastically said. Ohm breathed a lungful of air. Now, we got a patient with a problematic family tree.
"Let's go."
•••••••••••
It has been weeks since Fluke been staying on the hospital ever since the annoying doctor guarded him like a damn bodyguard. He can't even have a time to sneak out because the doctor was always beside him. The only time that the doctor was out of his sight is when at night. Though he can't even brought himself to leave because his body is getting weak. He undergone a certain tests for the whole week. He's trying to cooperate well the doctor he don't even know his name and he don't bother to know his name.
Sleep have been betraying him for the past few days. He don't have a breathing attacks but his insomia is getting ahold of him.
He suddenly felt sweats on his forehead as he tried his best to stand up to go to one of his bag that contain his things that he got back from home when that doctor helped him get his things. He snickered annoyingly as he held himself to brace himself from standing. And gladly, his legs didn't fail him.
Only if his lungs don't betray him the way his legs did, things would be much better... he guess.
He grabbed a small bottle that he's hiding intensively in order for the doctor that is looking after him to not see. He held it near him as he walked back to his bed and lay down. He opened the bottle shakily and got an ample amount before he swallowed it like a candy.
Sleep tight and bright—
Fluke sat all of a sudden as he breathed deep and hard. His lungs are constricting in a very short manner. The way is trachea and larynx were narrowing. He can feel how his heartbeat beats slower and heavier than it should be.
"Oxygen defibrillator!" a hoarse panicking voice was all he can hear as Fluke tries to calm down his breathing. But just like before, just like any other days, just like the few years he's been suffering. He can't seem to find himself to stop anymore. It is much more complicated than before.
He felt an oxygen mask on half of his face, annoying but he can't find strength to pull it out. Not when he felt relief when the air from it gives him an opportunity to breathe normally. Yeah, normally.
"Lay down." a strong pair of arms get in contact with him as the soft pair of cottons touched his back in a sitting formation. Still him, running after his breathe as if he run a marathon.
"H-how.. h-how long... I-i'm... sleep?" Fluke tried his best to talk to ask the handsome doctor in front of him. He changed his mind, maybe he needs to know his name so that he'll not call him handsome anymore.
Ohm signed to the other nurses to leave them that the others gladly accept and left them with apologectic smile on their faces.
"3 weeks, close to being a month now if you hadn't woke up." Fluke raised his head as he stared up at the ceiling. Tears were forming and was trying hard to kept it at bay. He's tired from crying after all. And being emotional would just make it hard for him to breathe.
Things were really different now. Before, he can't even sleep for an hour but now, he can sleep for akmost a month.
"The results were out. We found countless traces of drugs in your blood, and I assume it is sleeping pills. Just like what I saw you're holding an hour ago." the doctor started to talking but he didn't pay mind. He knows that himself.
"You have a Central Sleep Apnea, a sleeping and breathing disorder that is similar to insomia but much worst. We can still treat it but because of overdosage of the sleeping pills you drunk, it will be really hard to cure now." Fluke wants him to stop from talking anymore but he can't bring himself to speak. He knows everything about his disorder, of course. But he wants to hear it too, after all. Just like what he said, it's been a while since he visited a doctor and he don't know his condition anymore.
"So—"
"W-what's your... name?" was all he could say. He feels like saying yes when he was able to asked the doctor. Ohm stopped and swallowed.
"Ohm Thitiwat Ritprasert. Just call me Ohm."
"You k-know... you're too h-handsome to be... a d-doctor..." Fluke chuckled with his own words and it brought smiles to Ohm as he calmly sat at the end of Fluke's bed.
"Wow, I never thought you can say good words such as "handsome". How about you? We've been together here for a month now yet I still don't know your name." Ohm said as he removed the glasses he's wearing. He examined the face of the patient. Angelic yet tired. Beautiful yet wrecked. Ohm bit his lips as he suddenly felt his heart thumping in a very loud notion. He keep himself from raising his hand to fix the messy hair of the beauty in front of him.
"Fluke Natouch Siripongthon." Ohm smiled widely. Finally he learned the smaller's name.
Beautiful.
Undyingly beautiful.
•••••••••••
Things gone better between Ohm and Fluke. They suddenly became best of friends. They may not say it out loudly, things have been going more than just friends but none of them say anything. All those wide smiles, stealing glances, shivers that only their voices and touch can brought to one another. Their action speaks louder than any words.
Some things are better left unsaid especially if things are unpredictable and... predictable.
But not like how their relationship becomes beautiful. Fluke wasn't able to leave the hospital anymore. His health was rapidly declining but none of them talked about it. Ohm almost forgot his duties outside and stayed with Fluke. The hospital didn't mind though since Ohm is really a famous doctor.
Both of them acted like things are just normal, like how it should be. Fluke can no longer walk, or even talk without difficulty. His chubby cheeks are now gone. His eyes are now as deep as ocean. Dark eye circles and full of wrinkles. He's close to bone. His insomia gotten worst and he began to hallucinate things. His panic attacks occurs almost every night now compare to before that only happen once a week. Oxygen mask also didn't left him anymore. Fluke used to hate to have it but now, he got used to it.
For Ohm, he's still the most beautiful and no one can get pass Fluke's beauty. Not even gods and goddesses. Fluke's imperfection became his own. Fluke's flaws are now part of his life.
"What.. are your hobbies?" Fluke asked all of a sudden as he tried his best to munch a chunk of an apple who he requested from Ohm. Ohm was just combing his hair.
"Waterboarding, along with my cousins." Ohm smiled as he remembers the feeling of being one with air and water. It's been so long now since he did that but he don't mind not doing it now as long as he's with Fluke.
Fluke smiled before he slowly pulled the oxygen mask out of his face. Ohm panicked but then he just helped Fluke to do so when the latter signed an 'okay'.
"H-how does it feel...?" Fluke's voice is now clear as crystal water without the oxygen mask that usually muffle his voice. Ohm held his skin-bone hand and caressed it. It is still soft despite of its poor state.
"Waterboarding?" Fluke moved his head slowly side to side,
"To s-sleep well... to d-dream... no night... m-mares... t-to breathe fine... to... l-live well?" Ohm felt his heart getting crushed into pieces as he heard Fluke's statement. He's not someone who cries so easily as he is usually a person with not that much facial reaction. But seeing the person he now cherish suffering right in front of his well being hurts more than anything else.
"Fun… but at the same time, sucks too. Because sometimes sleeping is when you can see your fears." Ohm saud as he stared straight right into Fluke's eyes as he mentioned 'fears'.
"How about… you… if I may ask? How does it feel to not… sleep peacefully?" Fluke suddenly smiled and raised his thumb as if saying 'nice question you've got there.'
"It s-sucks. When you w-want to rest… but you c-can't. Sleeping is like a r-reward for us humans… af-after a long tiring d-day. T-to not sleep or take a r-rest is a t-torture. Both *gasp*.... m-mentally and physically…"
Fluke suddenly took a lungful of air and Ohm was quick to grab the oxygen mask to put it back to Fluke but the smaller stopped him.
"W-why did you help me... that t-time?"
"Because that's how handsome people would do." Ohm joked and he saw Fluke's smile that have became his favorite view to look at now.
"Why... d-did you stay..." all of a sudden, it is Ohm's chance now to breathe a lungful of air because of the sudden question.
"N-no one can... es-escape my beauty, I s-see..." Fluke once again breathed a lungful of air as tears started to fall from his face. Ohm was quick to notice it and wipe it with shaky hands.
"T-thank you..." Ohm planned to say something but Fluke out his index finger to Ohm's lips with a gathered strength. Ohm agreed as tears were now starting to form on his own expressive set of eyes.
"I-in just a short span of t-time... you make me f-feel so much ha-happiness... t-that *gasp* I never t-thought... I'll have.... s-so thank you...."
"Y-you made me.. d-dream again without having... t-trouble of s-sleeping and w-waking...." Fluke struggled to raise himself but in order for him to do what he wants to do, he did his best to summon all the strength that are left and will soon fade now.
He kissed Ohm.
"L-live well... na?" his voice soft when he pulled back and smiled before he layed again. He held Ohm's face that is now slowly covered in tears he never thought the man owns.
"I'll s-sleep... for n-now... okay m-mai?" Fluke said as he flashed his beautiful smile. Ohm might have been the one hallucinating but when Fluke did that, he looks so healthy. His chubby cheeks are back and his eyes are bright.
Ohm bit his lips and wipe his tears as he held Fluke's hand tight and he nod his head.
"Y-yes... yes. S-sleep tight, okay?"
He watched Fluke close his eyes and a few seconds later of watching his chest bobbing up and down, it stopped.
It finally stopped. The sufferings are no longer there. The years of struggles has now come to an end for Fluke. But now, not for Ohm.
Fluke's ending is now Ohm's beginning.
It will be Ohm's struggle to wake up now every morning with the thought of the most special person for him died in front of him, peacefully.
Ohm could do nothing but to hug Fluke's now cold and lifeless body as he started to let go of the pain that have been building up his chest. He cherished every moment for the last time. He didn't even call for the other nurse or doctors.
He will have to memorize Fluke's and feel every corner of him before the body will be finally taken away from him.
"You… you will no longer have struggles to sleep now. Visit me in my d-dreams, please."