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1. Mr. Tom, a Dildo Lover by ChibiPenguin, ElleVarem, Initial_Non-Applicable_ (Top7879), littlecupkate, orphan_account, Rosie_sparks, Sakuragane_San for duplicity

   Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling  

   • Explicit
   • Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage Sex
   • F/M, M/M
   • Work in Progress

   05 Sep 2020

   Tags

   • Graphic Depictions Of Violence
   • Underage Sex
   • Harry Potter/Tom Riddle | Voldemort
   • Lucius Malfoy/Narcissa Black Malfoy
   • Harry Potter
   • Tom Riddle | Voldemort
   • Lucius Malfoy
   • Narcissa Black Malfoy
   • Draco Malfoy
   • Ron Weasley
   • Hermione Granger
   • lucy and narc are just tired of tom fucking their silk pillows to death ok
   • Tom Riddle is A Stupid Fuck
   • Magically Powerful Harry Potter
   • Master of Death Harry Potter
   • Tom Riddle is His Own Warning
   • Bottom Tom Riddle
   • Bottom Harry Potter
   • the chapters where they fuck will be SPECIFIED
   • YOU DISGUSTING FUCKS.
   • Hate Sex
   • Enemies to Lovers
   • WILDLY inappropriate
   • lucius just wants to fuck his wife in peace ok
   • why the fuck did we do this
   • technically crack luvs but fuck me if we ever admit it
   • Crack Treated Seriously
   • this is so fucking bad that its GOOD
   • this is what happens if a family of cursed authors try and make a fic together.
   • weekly updates!
   • all crack zero plot. the best combo.

   Summary

   tom be nimble
   tom be quick
   tom jump over onto
   the candledick

   Or, "the tale of the darkest lord of all time's fascination with candles in his ass because he doesn't know what dildos are" or "narcissa's nervous breakdown over her silk pillows: a dramatization"

   Basically, Lucius and Narcissa are tired of Voldemort defiling their house with his weird sexual Issues and as all avenues they can turn to inevitably close, they're left resorting to the most Gryffindorishly dumb plan possible: make their good Dark Lord and Savior fall in love with Potter, get fucked by Potter, and get the fuck out of their house.

   They're just as surprised as you are that it worked.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   13,505

   Chapters:

   3/?

   Collections:

   1

   Comments:

   248

   Kudos:

   827

   Bookmarks:

   152

   Hits:

   10,481