Chapter Text
"I just want to say, I’m real honored you guys reached out to me. I’m glad somebody’s making a documentary on this dude. Real weird dude. Cool weird though. I should know, I’ve met him so often now, I’m probably his best friend at this point. He’s popped up quite a few times in my travel vlog series, No Home Nate. Should be a dream come true for him. Because he was a fan of mine, said he watched my backlog religiously before setting off from home to find his place in the world. See, I started making some videos years back after I quit my job managing a restaurant and at first my videos were guitar covers, but then I branched out into prank vid—
[Nate is cut off by a muffled, incomprehensible voice from off camera]
Huh? Oh. Yeah, yeah. Stay on topic, sure. Right. Let me take it from the top…
[Nate clears his throat]
You meet many an interesting person when you travel across country. Some good interesting, some bad interesting. Then there are a few that you might not have considered interesting had fate not decided you run into them again. A dancer named Promise. A couple of lesbian bodyguards named Bonnie and Jess. A teenaged traveler named Steven.
That kid, Steven Universe. He’s the one you want to know about, yeah? Strange teen in a pink varsity jacket? I first met him at a diner in Keystone. Some monster shows up and dude straight up smashes it to dust. Then he acts all meek apologizing then pays and leaves like its no big deal. Ruthless badass hiding under a cheery disposition.
Since I was Vloging at the time for my TubeTube Channel, you know, tubetube.com/user/nohomenate, I caught it on camera, made the incident the focus of the episode. He never told me that he was proud of me spotlighting him, but I’m sure I have his silent approval."
—Nathan “NoHomeNate” Dion
Excerpt from Mystery of the Universe: A Documentary on Jayhawk’s Campus Cryptid