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Sam has been considering sneezing for about ten minutes now.
Okay, not actually sneezing because he doubts he could hold that back for ten minutes, but pretending to sneeze.
It’s a thing he and Peter have been doing lately when they kiss; trying to gross each other out, ruining the moment, faking each other out… and it’s kind of hilarious. When it isn’t happening to him that is.
The first time had admittedly been Sam’s idea.
At the time he could never have conceived of the war he was about to start when he decided that it would be hilarious to climb onto Peter’s lap and kiss him senseless, lulling him into a false sense of security before he struck. He had waited for that moment when he pulled away, the one where Peter always kept his eyes closed, a look of disbelieving bliss on his face that Sam finds both endearing and stupid as hell, and had quickly stuck his finger in his own mouth. Then, before Peter had a chance to open his eye he had leaned in, captured his lips again, and promptly stuck his finger in the unsuspecting heroes ear. It had only been in there a second before Sam found himself with his arms trapped by his sides, laughing at the shriek Peter had let out.
The look in his boyfriend’s eyes alone would have been enough to make it clear that this meant war, but the noogie he received mid-kiss two minutes later really drove the issue home.
Sam had kissed him with juice in his mouth a few days later, and Peter had retaliated by having what he claimed to be a “totally not fake at all” coughing fit right against Sam’s mouth halfway through a hot and heavy make out.
So for the last little while that’s the game they’ve played, and more often than not it leads to indignant yelps followed by long periods of laughter, and once or twice a really cheesy tickle fight that Sam would never admit to, even under torture.
The last time it had happened they had been snuggling on the couch, and Sam had been kissing Peter sneakily between bites of popcorn. Things were getting warm and sweet, each kiss lasting a little longer than the last when his boyfriend had suddenly started ‘choking’. And yes that word totally deserves mental quotation marks, because the jerk had almost given Sam a heart attack, but as soon as Ava walked in and asked if he was okay he was smiling and nodding and acting like nothing was wrong at all. He had still been laughing when Sam had started hitting him and Ava rolled her eyes and left.
So Sam is going to sneeze.
He’s going to sneeze any second now… as soon as Peter’s lips against his stop feeling so good.
The hands in his hair stroke gently, urging him to tilt his head a little more, pressing their mouths together at a better angle. His tongue brushes, light as a feather over Peter’s lips and the other boy makes a soft happy sound into his mouth.
It’s soft and gentle and so unlike most of their harsher sloppier kisses that Sam’s heart is doing weird fluttery things in his chest and sneezing is suddenly the last thing he ever wants to do if it means they have to stop this.
Warm breath puffs against his lips as they separate to breathe, and he keeps his eyes closed and tries not to smile too much just in case Peter is looking at him, but he sort of can’t help it.
“I love you,” Peter says softly, kissing him again and then again. “You’re amazing.” He kisses him a little longer, mouth open and wet and warm against Sam’s own. “You’re perfect.”
And then Sam is leaning away, making gagging noises and leaving Peter looking adorably perplexed for one second before he’s rolling his eyes at him in exasperation. “Wow Sam, way to ruin the moment.”
“Ugh whatever, that was so mushy and gross. What the hell was I supposed to do?” he replies, turning his face away so Peter wont see that he’s actually blushing a bit.
“Oh I don’t know, say it back?” Peter pulls him forward again and touches their foreheads together. “Listen while I tell you how much I love you?”
“Yuck,” Sam mutters, the words almost a whisper.
“How happy you make me.”
“Gross,” he protests weakly, already leaning in to kiss Peter again. He lets his tongue slide into his mouth just barely and hums in contentment. He’s just about to snuggle in closer when Peter chooses that exact moment to pull back and-
“ACHOO”
Sam blinks at him, shocked.
“No… NO! I was gonna do that dude! What the hell?!?”
Peter smirks at him, the very picture of smugness. “You snooze you lose Sparky,” he says with a shrug. He’s smiling and wiggling happily, full to the brim with triumphant glee, so of course Sam has to shove him, pouting and glaring so hard he wouldn’t be surprised if the Nova force somehow manifested and blasted him off the bed.
“I despise you. More than Doom. More than Batroc. More than being put on new hero babysitting duty.”
“No you don’t,” Peter singsongs back, grabbing his arm when he goes to shove him again. “You loooove me. You love me just as much as I love you.”
Sam leans over on the bed, exaggeratedly groaning and covering his face with his arm. “Eugh. Eugh I’m gonna be sick. That’s so- eugh… you’re disgusting Web Head.”
Peter snorts, toeing at him lightly to try to shut him up. When that doesn’t work he shifts, hovering over him and rolling his eyes as he pokes at his side. “Dude, stop.”
Sam just ignores him and keeps going, groaning and flailing until Peter has enough and shoves him off of the bed onto the carpet.
“Ouch!”
Peter’s laughter floats down from above, and there’s only so much of that he can take before he’s kneeling and reaching up to grab his arm and yank him down onto the floor right along with him.
“Ouch. Not cool,” Peter complains, landing with a thump next to Sam and flopping down dramatically onto his back.
“Dude, you know this means war right?” Sam huffs, laying down to join him and elbowing Peter in the side. “No more small pranks, this is like… the major leagues now.”
Pete just looks at him, his eyes bright with the challenge, and Sam is struck by how much he really really likes this dork. Because Peter is sappy, but he also forgets basic shit like picking up eggs for him or that he promised to play video games with him after school on the same night he swore he’d hang out with MJ at the mall. And he never listens, and does stuff like sneeze in his face when they kiss. He’s gross, and childish, and more than a bit ridiculous, but despite all that he never once let’s Sam feel unloved, and that’s kind of amazing.
And right now he’s grinning smugly; an expression that’s just begging to be kissed away as he leans over Sam to look him in the eyes.
“Bring it on, Bucket Head.”