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“Yamaguchi, what should we watch?” Kei asked, picking out DVDs from his TV shelf. “The one about—”
He turned his head, only to find out that Tadashi was soundly asleep. He clicked his tongue, somehow disappointed.
An impulsive thought whispered into his ear like a tiny devil sitting on his shoulder.
What would it feel like?
Kei thought, glancing at Tadashi, who was passed out on his bedroom floor—even if they had already agreed on watching Jurassic Park that night. Seemed like the boy had fallen asleep to the mellow piano songs playing from the speakers.
Tadashi went to Kei’s for a sleepover on a Saturday like he always did. It was an unspoken tradition they both agreed on long ago. 237 Saturdays in total. Kei counted every single one.
Every night was unlike the other. But some things remained the same, like how Kei’s mother would prepare midnight snacks for them. Like how they always argued on what to watch before going to sleep. Like how they would turn off the lights to have a good look at the night sky and watch out for shooting stars. Like how they would always sleep in arms reach just in case the other was having nightmares.
All those nights together and Kei had never seen himself thinking of what he just thought of.
Or he has, he just severely repressed the thoughts of it.
Five years with the same person almost every single day would make your brain short circuit, at least—was Kei’s logic.
What would it feel like to kiss him?
The blonde boy thought to himself as he shifted from his former position, scooting over to the sleeping Tadashi in front of him. He kneeled beside the boy, an arm pressed against the wooden floor to anchor his weight. Inching himself closer, Kei held his breath, afraid to wake Tadashi from his slumber.
Kei lifted his hand, his index finger hovering over Tadashi’s cheeks as he counted the boy’s freckles like he counted the stars with him every weekend.
His finger halted on Tadashi’s lips. He wanted to touch him, so bad. Like a constant itch on his skin that he couldn’t get rid of. The urge was killing him.
Mind running through a hundred dimensions per second, Kei’s thoughts continued to wander.
Kei had admitted to himself that he liked his best friend, but not in that way. He just wondered if Tadashi’s waist was as small as it looked—if he would fit perfectly in his arms. He just wondered if Tadashi’s hair would be soft since his hair smelled of conditioner. He just wondered if Tadashi’s lips would taste like strawberries, just like his favorite.
It’s just curiosity , Kei thought.
Not like he had unconsciously fallen for his best friend of three years, right? Not like his heart would skip a beat everytime Tadashi’s shoulders pressed against his whenever he jumped because he was scared of the thunder, right?
Tadashi fluttered his eyes open, resulting in Kei nearly launching himself across the room. The boy hummed, rubbing the back of his hand against the drool dripping from his mouth.
Acting as if he wasn’t planning to kiss his best friend just seven seconds ago, Kei gulped, pushing down the lump in his throat. “You fell asleep,” he huffed.
“Sorry, Tsukki,” Tadashi replied, a hand rubbing at his nape while he smiled innocently.
“Jeez,” Kei heaved, clicking his tongue in irritation. “Now I don’t wanna watch the movie anymore.”
Tadashi scrambled from his former position, trying to quickly think of something to say. “Um, we can watch it next time?” he suggested, leaning into Kei.
On the other hand, Kei, whose heart was now beating out of his chest, just wanted to get his best friend out of his face as soon as possible. His eyes were met with Tadashi’s, but his mind was on something else.
Pulling Tadashi in and drowning in thoughts full of him was the one thing Kei wanted then. But he had to physically stop himself from doing that. He can’t fuck this up now. Not when he was that close. Not when they’ve got a five year friendship at stake. It was too risky for Kei’s comfort.
Why not? Aside from your longest and probably only friend, you’ve got nothing to lose , a voice in Kei’s brain whispered.
True, that could happen. However, if it meant finally getting the answer to a question persistently buzzing in his mind, why not give it a try? Like they say, “Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.”
“Can I kiss you?” The boy dared to ask.
“What?”
“I want to kiss you,” he said, repeating himself.
His best friend’s face turned bright red at the question. “W-What do you mean?” He asked again, still not believing if his ears heard the right thing.
Growing impatient, Kei decided to grip Tadashi by his wrist, pulling him close enough that their faces were just a few centimeters apart. “I said,” he trailed off before pressing his lips onto the other’s.
Tadashi was everything Kei expected and more.
He smelled of a faint fruity scent, a scent that clung onto Kei as they touched. His lips were like honey dripping into Kei’s mouth. He moved in perfect synchronization with Kei, their lips fitting together like matching puzzle pieces.
Tadashi was so delicate, like a cherry blossom petal falling into Kei’s hand.
Visions hazy and breaths hot, the two boys wanted nothing more than to bask in each other’s glory for as long as they could, maybe even until the end of time.
That was the first time in five years of knowing each other that they’ve been that close, their tongues pushing and pulling from one another’s like opposite poles of magnets.
And how they wish they could go on like that for hours and hours, if not for their lungs begging for air.
The two pulled away, eyes locking with the other’s. Momentarily, they stood like how they were, Tadashi atop Kei’s lap, his hands on the boy’s shoulders, and Kei sitting comfortably on his bed with Tadashi straddled on him, his hands on the other’s waist.
It was everything they’ve both been yearning for.
Kei spoke. “Does that give you an answer?” He said, still trying to catch his breath.
Tadashi laughed lightly, bringing his face to rest on Kei’s shoulder. He hummed, responding to the latter’s question.
“I like you a lot, Tadashi.”
“Really? Didn’t notice from how you always told me to shut up,” Tadashi remarked playfully, his cheek shuffling against his best friend’s sweater.
“Well, I didn’t know what to say then,” Kei muttered. “And you were supposed to say you like me back!”
Tadashi lifted his head, looking up at Kei through his lashes. “I thought you got the memo already?”
The blonde boy blinked at him, his lips forming into a pout. Tadashi laughed, his tone intending to tease Kei further. The pout from the boy’s lips disappeared, his expression turning sour—like a kid throwing tantrums.
“Okay, okay. I like you too, Tsukishima Kei, more than you’ll ever know.”
The film they had planned to watch was long forgotten while they laid beside the other, hands intertwined and bodies close.
Who knew a movie night turned makeout session was all they needed to finally confess their affection after excruciating all that mutual pining.