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English
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Part 2 of Logged Out
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2020-08-23
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898
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Some Worries

Summary:

Shiroe contemplates what could have been if he hadn't switched characters, and Akatsuki helps him clarify things.

Notes:

Everyone had such a nice response to my first story in this AU that I felt a bit inspired to try again. It's not much, but some of the dialogue kept repeating, so I wrote it down.

Since they met in the real world, they still use their real world names. That was going to be a part of this conversation, but it didn't fit, so maybe in another fic?

And I can't think of a better title, though I realized I'd made a mistake in posting it with the one it had.

Work Text:


“Kei?”

He looked over, not at all surprised to see Shizuka there. She was the only one who called him by his name in the real world—everyone here knew him as Shiroe, and even those he’d met up with in person from the Tea Party still called him Shiroe over Kei or even Shirogane.

It almost seemed like his name belonged to her alone now.

“Something wrong, Shizuka?”

She shook her head as she came closer, though he also wasn’t surprised to see she’d brought him food again. While Nyata’s discovery made food appealing again, even his talents didn’t mean that Kei remembered to eat properly. He was as bad at that here as he’d been in the real world.

“I should ask you that,” she said as she set down the food. “You look worried.”

“I’m fine.”

“When you worry, your forehead wrinkles up,” she said, reaching over to touch the spot. “I noticed it when we first met, and you still do it here.”

He sighed. He couldn’t hide much from her, could he?

And yet, he often found that he didn’t want to.

“I was thinking about the rumors,” Kei admitted. “Marielle told me about the changes in the city while we were gone. Some of them seem almost good, like less player killing, but there are others… They’ve been taking the newer players and forcing them to give up their exp potions. I keep thinking… if I hadn’t changed characters when I did, that might have been me.”

She shook her head. “No. You would not have joined one of those guilds.”

“If I was desperate enough, without having access to what I do now—”

“You have many friends in the game,” she reminded him. “Friends here. You have Naotsugu, for whatever he’s worth. You might have accepted Marielle’s offer to join the Crescent Moon Alliance. Or found Nyata or joined a different guild. You would not have been so desperate.”

He managed a small smile. He supposed that was true. He had people he could have asked for help over the predatory guilds. He preferred to be on his own, but he had lots of safe havens available to him if he’d wanted them.

Shizuka, though… how many friends did she have? And if they’d both been in their low level alts when this happened, would he have made the same choices?

“Are you worried that I would have been?”

He grimaced. Was he really that obvious? He hadn’t thought so, but with Shizuka, sometimes it felt like he was. “Well, it would have been worse for you. We hadn’t exchanged anything but the names of our new alts, so you wouldn’t have known how to find me, and your gear was already giving you in trouble when we were just playing the game. And you’re a pretty girl, so that would have put you in danger, too.”

“It is true I have less connections in the game than you do.”

He grimaced. He’d really stuck his foot in his mouth that time, and he hadn’t even realized it. “I didn’t mean to imply you’d be desperate. I just… I was relieved when your alt was offline because… I was afraid of what might happen to you in a low level character.”

She nodded. “You are very kind.”

He felt himself getting uncomfortable again. “I… Maybe, though it doesn’t seem like all that much. I didn’t do anything.”

She reached for the food. “That is not the point.”

“I…” He couldn’t think of anything to actually say, so he said nothing, taking the food she offered to him.

“I knew you were Shiroe.”

He choked on the bite he’d just taken. “What?”

She shrugged as she stirred the food in her bowl. “I suspected, at least. Your voice was the same, after all. You sounded like Shiroe when you asked for help to find your professor’s office.”

That was embarrassing. “I did?”

She gave him another shrug. “Or at least, I thought I recognized your voice from somewhere. I was sure it was Shiroe’s voice later.”

“Oh.”

“I would have looked for you,” Shizuka said. “As I did as Akatsuki, since I needed that potion.”

He found himself smiling. Somehow, he was pleased she would have looked for him, just like he was pleased that she already had. This place was so much better with Shizuka in it.

“If you wish to free the newer players, then I will assist you,” she said, looking at him in that intense way of hers for a moment before lowering her head again, a faint redness in her face.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he repeated, knowing that was foolish, but it was so true and he felt a need to say it. Her presence gave him confidence. She had made that offer without hearing his plan, always trusting him, and he valued that trust.

He liked being with her just like this. Even when they weren’t speaking or eating, just being with her was nice. They could had spent hours like this before, just playing together and enjoying each other’s company even if they weren’t talking.

His mind started to clear, and he felt a lot calmer.

“I… I think I have a plan on how to do just that,” he told her, and her smile made him certain that it was going to work.

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