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English
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Part 3 of Logged Out
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Published:
2020-08-26
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867
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On Forgiveness

Summary:

Akatsuki confronts Shiroe about selling her out. Shiroe fumbles a bit in trying to make it right.

Notes:

The things I do when I can't sleep...

I was thinking if I did another Log Horizon piece, it would be a multi-part/drabble thing where outsiders looked in at them being themselves and knew they were as much as dating already (since I think they're the only ones who don't know that they have feelings for each other in this AU.) Instead of that, I was reminded of the episode I just rewatched today and how Shiroe sells Akatsuki out and it's played for laughs, but really, it's kind of a big deal, and I wanted a conversation about that to happen between them.

This... did not stay on track, and they wanted to banter more than they do in canon. Bad habit of me writing, I can't seem to help the banter. Which is probably why I should write other things but can't so I'm doing this instead.

Work Text:


“Kei.”

He looked up, tensing as he saw the look on Shizuka’s face. All and all, he was actually expecting it. He had to consider the possibility that she’d be livid with him, and she did, technically, have every right to be. He could try and argue that she’d agreed to help him with his plan no matter what it involved, which was also true, but then she was offering her talents as an assassin, as his ninja.

Not as Henrietta’s cuddle toy.

“Shizuka. Is there something I can help you with?”

She nodded, leaning over his desk. “You know very well what is wrong. You gave Henrietta permission to use me as a dress up doll. Again. You sold me out. Again.”

He had, and he knew it. He couldn’t exactly deny it. “I needed Henrietta’s support to make the plan work. We couldn’t have done this without her.”

Shizuka said nothing. Clearly that wasn’t enough of a reason for her. He supposed that was fair—it wasn’t like he’d be comfortable with someone else dressing him in strange clothes and showing him off to everyone.

“I mean, you did look really cute—”

“Cute?” Shizuka’s voice got high-pitched, and he swore he’d just done the worst thing possible. “You think that was cute?”

“Um… Well, yes. Actually, you’re cute in most of the things you wear even when you’re not trying to be. It’s not that you’re not beautiful, because you are, but there’s a cuteness to your beauty that’s kind of… I’m not entirely sure how to describe it, but it’s almost like an enhancement spell, you know? You look even better in some ways.”

She turned away from him, and he thought he’d only managed to make it worse. He hesitated, then forced himself to reach out to touch her shoulder.

“I’m sorry. I should at least have asked you if you’d be okay with Henrietta wanting to play dress up before I let her know she could. I—Sometimes I do whatever it takes to get things done, even if that cost is paid by someone else, and in this case, it was you. I’m sorry, Shizuka. Saying you looked nice doesn’t excuse what I did.”

She nodded, still not looking back at him.

He felt a bit sick to his stomach. “Are… are you going to be able to forgive me?”

She didn’t answer, and he sighed. He supposed he deserved that.

“Next time, I swear I will ask you before I offer your help to Henrietta. I know that doesn’t make it better, either, but it is a promise to change, okay?”

“Your hair is cute.”

“What?”

“The way it swirls to the left in back. It’s cute,” she said, and he frowned, not sure what to think of that. His hair was cute? Shizuka thought he was… cute?

“I…”

“Very well,” she said, turning back to him. “If you buy me a red bean cake, I will accept it as proof of your agreement and promise.”

“I could write a contract, if you’d like.”

She looked at him. “That makes it sound as if your word alone is not good enough. Did you lie to me in making that promise?”

“No. I meant it. I just… I know I may have to ask you to do it again, and if you were to refuse, I… if a plan counted on it, I don’t know what I’d do, honestly.”

“You start by asking,” Shizuka said. “I may agree, and this fear of yours is for nothing.”

“True.”

“But I cannot agree if you do not give me the chance.”

Right. That was very, very true. That was why he’d kept his agreement with Henrietta a secret, not wanting to allow for the possibility of Shizuka refusing. He couldn’t afford to lose Henrietta’s part in that plan, and so he’d sacrificed Shizuka.

“You really shouldn’t forgive me,” he said, uncomfortably aware of that fact. “I used you, and that’s not right.”

“That may be,” she agreed, “but forgiving you is my choice, and if I decide to do so, it is not for you to question.”

He almost smiled. “So… that means you are forgiving me?”

“I am considering it.”

He nodded. She should take her time with it, make sure she was actually able to look past what he’d done. “I suppose saying we should go for those red bean cakes would be like a bribe now, huh?”

“Perhaps.” She turned and started walking away. “And perhaps a red bean cake is an acceptable bribe.”

He laughed awkwardly, relief overtaking him as he did. Shizuka had an odd sense of humor, but he did find comfort in knowing she didn’t hate him for what he’d done.

Or what he’d said.

“What about two?”

“Two?”

“Red bean cakes. Is that an acceptable bribe?”

Shizuka laughed, and he swore it echoed around them, but it was the most beautiful thing he’d heard. He usually found that when people were laughing at him, it wasn’t for any good reason, but he had just made Shizuka happy, and that laughter was wonderful.

“Maybe three.”

He knew she was joking, but he nodded. “Three it is.”

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