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there it was, laid out in all its glory: all rough, elegant cardstock, twisting calligraphy written in golden ink that shimmered in the setting sun that shone through the parted curtains. you’ve been invited to…
tadashi couldn’t bring himself to finish reading the invitation the first, second, fifth time he looked at it. he’d put distance between himself and the thick piece of paper, biting at his thumb like chewing the smooth edge of his nail would give him the courage he needed to finally acknowledge the invitation that had been given temporary refuge on his dining table ( why did the sun have to choose to illuminate the exact spot where he’d thrown down the envelope? why did it have to draw his eyes back towards the brilliantly glimmering lettering that spelled his supposed doom? )
as the boy stood in his kitchen, pacing trenches into chilled tile that sent shivers up his spine, he considered why he was even so worried about the entire situation. sure, crowds worried him at times, but he’d been to weddings before, right? was it that he felt awkward and out of place? that he could already hear the voices of family members and close friends asking him if he was in a relationship yet?
he stopped his rounds, midstride, his eyes locked on the edge of the counter. could it be that ? his family always had been overbearing about the idea of him dating; he’d never really been interested in it when he was in high school, too focused on volleyball and academics and and and …
there were regrets (he’d never deny that), wishes he whispered into the darkness of the night when he couldn’t sleep and found himself reminiscing on days past. if he’d just been a little less absorbed in his grades, a little more outgoing, a little more confident… maybe he wouldn’t be so lonely now, maybe he’d fall asleep a little easier with the knowledge that there was someone to protect him as he slumbered, maybe…
tadashi smoothed fingers over the skin of his cheeks, steeling his nerves as he turned in the direction of the invitation left discarded on the table. the golden lettering, absolutely sparkling in the dying light of the day, was nothing more than a taunt as he approached, his fingertips stopping just short of the flimsy, clean, white envelope.
you’re not escaping this, tadashi , he thought to himself as his eyes traced over the glittering brushstrokes. just read the damn thing .
so he did. the cardstock was heavy in his hand (heavy for stationery at the very least) and the envelope was thick, all quality material as he pulled the card from its paper prison.
dark eyes scanned bright lettering, anxiety mounting and dismounting once he’d officially given the invitation the only once over it needed before he was sliding the card back into its rightful place and once again discarding it onto the table.
two months from now, he was expected to show up to a cousin’s wedding and listen to the same question a million times and of course, he would answer dutifully like the golden child he was: “ no, i’m not dating anyone right now. i’m trying to focus on college before i do anything else. ”
he’d probably end up sniffling away in a bathroom at some point, his social battery drained and overwhelmed by the sense that he was being left behind by others because he wasn’t doing what they were doing. his family always, always managed to stir those feelings he had tucked away protectively in the back of his mind for safe keeping, almost like they were purposely trying to touch upon the sensitive insecurity of his. sadists .
with a deep breath, he shook the nerves out of his arms and rolled his shoulders, opening eyes to a bronzing world. there’s plenty of time for things to change.
until there wasn’t. one week out from the wedding, the only things that had changed in tadashi’s life was his favorite type of coffee to have in the morning (mocha latte) and his study habits for the new semester. there was an immense pressure to find someone, anyone , to cover for him so that he didn’t have to go through the unveiled attempt of badgering him into dating.
“it’s just so… annoying ,” he groaned over the straw of an iced white chocolate latte. “like honestly, it’s almost as if they’re purposely asking it just so the next time i see them, i’m dating someone just to pacify them.”
ennoshita shrugged passively, taking a long drag from his own coffee. “maybe they are.”
tadashi over at his friend, studying the previous captain’s expression. “if they are, i really think they’re sadists. i always end up leaving events early because it fucks my head up.”
“so don’t go alone,” his companion suggested. “even just showing up with someone else could psych them out enough to not ask you about it. you don’t even have to date the person, just take a friend with you.”
tadashi pulled a long sip from his cup, mulling over the idea. how dumb of him to not think of that in the first damn place…
“who could i even ask, though?” he wondered as he considered the state of his friend group as of late. some were spread to every corner of the earth, others were busy with work or school. he didn’t want to encroach on anybody’s plans or schedules, especially on such short notice.
ennoshita raised an eyebrow in confusion like the answer was the most simple thing in the world, confused as to why tadashi was completely glossing over the most obvious answer. “kei?”
the younger man’s eyes shot up to his friend’s own gaze, a kind of tension held deep within the recesses of his dark eyes. ennoshita couldn’t have known… there was no way…
“well, yeah… i suppose i could ask him,” he said, staring down at the drink clutched between his hands.
“then do it,” ennoshita responded, giving his friend an encouraging smile. “and if he says no, then i’ll go with you if you want.”
tadashi drew in a breath of air, steeling himself for the thought of asking kei tsukishima, his friend he’d been pining over since middle school, to go with him to a wedding of all things. he dreaded the idea of kei rejecting him, telling him that he’d rather be anywhere else on earth instead. he didn’t know if he could handle the feeling of being outright turned down by the only person he’d ever been in love with.
“yeah… yeah, okay,” he said when he’d recovered his thought process. “i’ll go do that. thanks for listening to me, chikara.”
ennoshita smiled that soft smile of his, a gentle almost brotherly gleam in his eyes as he watched tadashi stand from the cafe table. “of course, tadashi. anytime. let me know how it goes, so i can start looking at outfits if i need to.”
tadashi’s shoulders shook with little effort as he let out a quiet chuckle. “i will. see you later.”
he gathered up his things and as he strode off, leaving his friend behind, he couldn’t help but feel an uncomfortable tightness winding itself into his muscles like a venomous snake just waiting to strike out at him.
he and tsukishima were still good friends, still close with one another; in fact, kei was an integral piece of the yamaguchi family puzzle, had been for years, and tadashi’s family adored the tall blond boy just as much as they adored tadashi himself. if tadashi did invite kei to the wedding and kei said yes , he wouldn’t be stepping on anyone’s feet by showing up.
as tadashi made his way back to his apartment, his thumbs worried over the keyboard on his phone, mind racing on how to casually ask tsukishima to come over and hang out. steps echoing off concrete, he remembered how usually a text like this would be so easy to craft, just a quick “ hey, tsukki! wanna come over tonight? ” but now, it was a struggle just to write the hey .
by the time he reached his apartment door, tadashi had settled on “ hey. if you aren’t busy, do you wanna hang tonight? ”
by the time he was through the threshold, kei’s response was already setting off the notification. “ i’ll come over at six. ”
kei and tadashi had been playing mario kart for the better part of an hour, and kei had just won first place in their third grand prix of the night, when tadashi swallowed back his anxiety and turned his gaze from the tv to kei’s side profile, the boy wearing glasses too preoccupied with his phone to notice his friend’s sudden shift in mood.
“hey, tsukki?” tadashi tested carefully, trying to keep his voice steady and even, not wanting to give his nerves away.
“huh?” kei hummed in automatic response, still not pulling his gaze from his cellphone screen.
“so you know how my cousin is getting married this weekend?” tadashi questioned, fidgeting with his fingers.
“what about it?”
tadashi inwardly flinched, the space between his eyebrows twitching involuntarily. “well, i was just wondering if you would go with me as my plus one.”
that was what caught kei’s attention, an almost scowl etched across his face, sharp eyebrows drawn together and eyes narrowed. “why?”
“because…”
there wasn’t any way tadashi could phrase the real reason: because i’ve been in love with you since middle school and my family is going to nag me about being in a relationship if i go by myself and i just want to be with you so badly .
there wasn’t any way on the expanse of the earth where tsukishima would return tadashi’s feelings; he’d never felt the tinge of maybe he likes me back and he’d been okay with that until his family had started badgering him about playing with romance. now, every unconscious moment was stolen by dreams about what life would be like if maybe tsukki did requite his feelings.
“because what ?” kei’s voice, edged and sharp, broke tadashi’s panic and drew him back into the world of reality.
the dark haired boy swallowed in a breath, trying to calm himself and formulate an accurate answer that didn’t give away his deeply buried unreciprocated pining. “well because… i know my family wouldn’t mind having you there and i don’t want to go alone.”
there was a flicker of something in kei’s bronze eyes, too hidden behind his glasses that tadashi couldn’t place the emotion quick enough. kei recovered himself into pondering the question his friend had posed and after excruciating seconds that felt more like hours than anything, he shrugged his sweater clad shoulders.
“why not? your grandmother has been begging me to come visit her anyways,” he conceded, turning his attention back to his phone.
the coil of anxiety that had twisted up in tadashi’s stomach snapped like a rubber band, his shoulders visibly loosening up at he let out a breath. “cool. thanks, tsukki.”
he leaned back against the couch, taking a moment to himself before he was reaching for his own cellphone.
tsukki’s going with me. no need to worry about your outfit :)
tadashi’s week came and went and before he could even process it, he and kei were walking side by side into the venue. it was still baffling to tadashi that kei had even agreed, especially on such short notice, but he wasn’t going to complain about it, especially when the sadistic family members were giving him once overs and then double takes.
the pair sat together, talked together, but it was only tadashi who reveled in the fact that his family was making a pointed attempt to stay away from the relationship question for the moment, too transfixed on the tall middle blocker sitting to his right as the ceremony came and went.
the reception was well into full swing by the time anyone found the courage to approach tadashi with the fated question. it was almost like the yamaguchi family had come up with a gameplan to ask him without putting too much pressure on him: waiting until kei had left tadashi’s side to go to the bathroom.
it was tadashi’s aunt who sidled up beside him as soon as kei disappeared around the corner. “so, tadashi,” she drew, dragging out the first word in a slur, clearly having been deep diving into the open bar. “the boy you brought… that’s tsukishima, right? your grandmother was telling me about him earlier.”
tadashi’s eyes rolled involuntarily and he suppressed a sharp scoff. it was certain that she wanted to ask the most obvious question, but wanted to dance around it lest he close himself off.
“yeah. what about him?” he answered, marking his gaze pointedly away from the drunken woman to his left. he might as well get it over with and let her inquire into his relation to kei because brushing it off would lead to others trying to get a straight answer from him.
“so what are you two?” she asked, voice dipping into deviousness and mischief, like she was plotting his downfall then and there.
“friends. we’re just friends-”
a sharp shoulder check dragged tadashi out of the defense of his relationship with tsukishima and he was ready to snap at the person for an apology when he realized who it was. he’d recognize the sandy hair and height anywhere, no matter the circumstances.
kei was walking right past him without any kind of acknowledgment, not a single word or glance.
“tsukki?” he called, but his words either didn’t quite reach his friend or they had and he’d ignored them because kei continued his strides, disappearing into the mass of people on the dancefloor.
without another word, tadashi was pulling himself away from his aunt’s drunkenly magnetic personality and tearing through the crowd, doing his best to not step on toes or trip. the only thing rushing through his mind was whether or not kei was okay.
did something happen? what’s wrong?
chilly night air broke across tadashi’s face as he finally made it outside, crisp and refreshing compared to the hours he’d spent in hot venues that were making him choke on body heat and humidity.
“tsukki?” he tried again, his voice shaking with the effort as his eyes darted around to find his friend and when he found his tall companion leaning against a railing and looking over the expanse of the lawn bathed in silver moonlight, he let out a breath of relief. “tsukki, what’s wrong? why’d you run off like that?”
the silence was biting, colder than the chill of the night they’d found themselves in, and it made tadashi shiver. the closer he got as he approached, the more clearly he could tell that kei’s hands were trembling softly. the act confused him; kei was never this affected by anything, always the more composed of the duo, so to see his friend shaking so visibly, tadashi was more than taken aback.
“did something happen, tsukki?” he pushed forward, voice as even-keeled as he could force it to be. “you know you can tell me about anything.”
the way kei spoke was cold, calculating, but jarring and rough, like he was having a hard time forming thoughts into words. “just friends, huh?”
tadashi took a step back, hand bracing himself on the railing. “you heard that?”
“yeah, most of it,” he answered, voice bitter with contempt. “thanks for letting me find out like that, tadashi. real nice of you.”
“find out what , kei?” tadashi snapped back, his brows drawn together so tightly he could feel the dull sting of a headache.
“that you don’t like me the way i like you!” kei turned to look at tadashi and stood at his full height, backlit by a bright moon, he was menacing ; so much so that tadashi felt himself withering under the intensity of his friend’s presence. “like… fuck , tadashi. i’ve liked you for so long. i really thought that you’d invited me as your plus one because you liked me back, but to find out that you don’t return those feelings while you’re insisting to your family that we’re just friends? that really, really hurts , t-”
any fear tadashi had was all at once overrun by the acute need to do anything to convey to kei that he did, in fact, reciprocate the sentiment. his vocal cords too unreliable to relay the message and his mind too incoherent to make the words, he did the only thing he could possibly think to do in the heat of the moment.
one second, tadashi’s fingers were curling into his palms so sharply that he was sure that he was going to draw blood; the next, both hands were at the nape of kei’s neck, practically yanking the blond’s lips down to meet tadashi’s own. the kiss was unpracticed and clumsy, a poor excuse of a kiss, but it was inspired by years of previously-thought-to-be-unrequited love and conveyed every wish and prayer tadashi had said over the years in hopes that one day, kei would return his feelings.
only when tadashi’s lungs were burning for the taste of fresh air did he pull himself away from kei’s embrace, his fingers twitching dangerously out of anxiety at the base of his companion’s neck.
another blanket of silence settled over the two of them, kei staring down at tadashi and tadashi pointedly looking anywhere but up at kei in fear that he’d see something less than what he wanted. if that had ruined their whole relationship, tadashi didn’t want to witness it with his eyes, didn’t want to see the rejection etched across kei’s face.
he was so scared to look at kei that he didn’t even register his friend’s movements, didn’t register the fact that kei’s hands were in motion until calloused fingertips were dancing across his cheeks and pulling his gaze towards the person in front of him.
“so…” kei started, that smug look written across his features. “am i supposed to take that as you confessing your love for me or what?”
tadashi’s face flushed and his forehead fell against the blond’s chest with a whine of “ tsukki! ” he felt more than heard the chuckle that reverberated through kei’s body, a comforting rumbling in his chest as his arms closed around tadashi’s shoulders and pulled him into a warm embrace.
it felt like he was coming home .
“i’ll just take that as a yes,” kei answered, letting out another laugh and one of his hands dip into the hair on the back of tadashi’s head in an attempt to keep tadashi pressed against him.
this time, the silence that fell over them was a comfortable one as tadashi’s hands slipped from kei’s neck and took their rightful place clutching at the back of kei’s shirt, tethering him even further into the other’s warmth.
“where do we go from here?” tadashi asked some time later, still reveling in the comfort of kei’s strong body, cheek newly turned upon the blond’s collarbone so that he could gaze out across the lawn.
kei’s arms shifted around him, fingertips dipping into the back of tadashi’s collar to warm them. “wherever you want to, i guess.”
tadashi’s muscles tensed and untensed in thought as he turned kei’s words over in his head. they could go anywhere they wanted to from this point forward, but only one path made sense to him. reluctantly, he unwound himself from his friend’s embrace, wanting nothing more than to press right back in, tuck his face in the strength of his chest and revel in the warmth of his body. kei’s own hold loosened as tadashi pulled away, turning his gaze from the treeline to tadashi, who was busy worrying his bottom lip between his teeth and intently staring right through kei’s chest.
“so, if…” the dark haired boy started. “if i wanted to go back inside and introduce you to my family as my… boyfriend, we could do that?”
kei let out an amused huff of a laugh, the ghost of a smile dancing easily across his face like it was the easiest thing in the world for it to do. “if that’s what you want to do, yeah.”
finally, as if tadashi had reeled his soul back into his physical body, he turned his gaze up to meet kei’s bronze eyes, a determined look in his own chocolate brown depths. “is that okay with you? for me to call you that now?”
another chuckle fell from kei’s throat and in the blink of an eye, he was pressing a chaste kiss to tadashi’s lips, catching the shorter man by complete surprise. when he pulled away, he let one of his arms fall from tadashi’s shoulders and turned them both in the direction of the door leading back to the reception hall.
“it’s okay with me as long as i can call you the same thing,” he responded without looking down at the boy under his arm and tucked against his side. “it’s only fair.”
tadashi felt his face flush radiantly under the silver light of the moon once more and he had to fight the urge to hide himself in kei’s embrace once more until his blush dissipated beneath his skin. instead, he prepared himself to face his family and that dreaded question that… was no longer so dreaded.