Work Text:
Kim Taehyung is a really, really fucking good kisser.
His hands roam Yoongi’s milky body like it was the perfect map, pressing every pressure point, trickling along the sensitive parts of Yoongi’s being. Taehyung’s taste in fashion has always been eccentric, and the colorful rings along his fingers are only proof of this fact. Their cold bands tickle Yoongi’s skin, forcing him to shudder as Taehyung’s tongue flicks into his mouth, finding his own as he kisses him with no remorse.
Yoongi’s first mistake was stealing Taehyung’s t-shirt, you know, the same t-shirt that he wears now. The one that fits him like a dress, all big and loose and smelling of cedar wood and cinnamon. Yoongi loves it, he loves it when his senses are clouded with everything Taehyung, but that isn’t all.
Yoongi’s second mistake.
Kissing Kim Taehyung.
Because now they’re on the bed of his dormitory, Taehyung on top of him, kissing him senseless and overwhelming his very existence. Taehyung’s lips are fucking magical, stealing away Yoongi’s very breath and licking at his lips, gnashing with needy tips of teeth. Yoongi gasps into Taehyung’s mouth, their lashes fluttering in tandem as their lips move in total, complete harmony. It isn’t the kissing that bothers Yoongi, nor is it the mindless touches and squeezing. No. It’s the inevitable that comes after the fact. The heartbeats that ramp into the painful thumping of his chest, the senseless tingling in his gut that should be lust but is instead, nothing but fear and regret.
Yoongi doesn’t want this.
He wants Taehyung, but he doesn’t want this.
And the feeling makes him sick.
“Tae, Taehyung, Tae stop.”
Taehyung’s lips smack as they pull away from his neck, the needy hands that were just groping Yoongi’s ass now held far, far away from the other boy. Taehyung is frazzled, his lips swollen and slick, his cheeks burning.
“H-Hyung? Did I hurt you? Did I touch you… wrong? Please tell me what I did hyung—”
“D-Don’t, don’t do that. Not that.”
Yoongi holds up a hand, feebly pushing at Taehyung’s chest even though he is already near the edge of the bed, on the verge of falling off.
Taehyung’s entire body deflates, causing Yoongi to become engulfed in the shame that he feels. Shame that should only be directed towards him, not Taehyung.
Never Taehyung.
Taehyung sighs, combing a hand through his wispy, chocolate locks. He stands from the bed, in nothing but the loose fitting sweats that he wears, splattered with multi-colored paint splotches. He picks up his discarded t-shirt from the floor, Yoongi’s skin utterly cold, frozen over with the fear of being alone. Taehyung’s scent still remains, taking form in the oversized shirt that somehow, clings to his skin now.
Yoongi’s bottom lip trembles. “Tae? Taehyung don’t go. Taehyung I’m sorry.”
Yoongi pushes himself to his knees, grabbing hold of Taehyung’s wrist so that he is unable to collect the rest of his things.
“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry I just… I’m just not ready yet. I’m sorry.”
Taehyung soon regains control of his breaths, sighing deeply as he gives a few firm nods.
“Yeah. Of course. I totally get that.” Taehyung says with a fond smile. He was raised better than to push someone past their limits, to guilt someone into sex even when they are clearly not into it. Taehyung has slept with enough people to know when and when not to pursue someone. Of course, those were all just quick and easy hookups.
With Yoongi, shit’s different.
Taehyung is about to tug on his shirt when Yoongi holds him still.
“Taehyung, stay with me.”
Taehyung’s brows raise in his befuddlement, the corners of his lips dragging until he looks as if he is frowning. Even when he looks sad, he is still so beautiful to Yoongi.
“Hyung, I don’t… I don’t think that’s a good idea—”
“I just want you to stay.”
Taehyung is utterly and ridiculously confused. Never has he been turned away, but in the same vein, asked not to leave. It… doesn’t make sense, and yet, nothing ever really does with Yoongi. He is an enigma, all soft and warm and full of gummy giggles, and yet, he is feisty and full of grit. Yoongi contains a nastiness that is only unleashed if you are able get on his bad side.
And you do not, want to get on Yoongi’s bad side.
Taehyung shakes his head, his jaw slack and his lips gaping like a fish out of water. He cups Yoongi’s round, flushed cheek before kissing it gently.
“I think I should go.” He says in a near whisper, pecking the swell of Yoongi’s cheek one more time.
In an act of desperation, Yoongi pulls Taehyung in by the sides of his face, kissing him fiercely and threatening to bruise, before pulling back, just enough so that he can connect their foreheads, looking Taehyung right in the eyes.
“Please, stay. Sleep with me? I don’t really want to be alone right now.” The admission does not come free. Yoongi is abashed, his cheeks reddening with shame as he chews on his bottom lip.
Taehyung’s cheeks puff out as he blows out a stream of air. As much as he doesn’t want to make his hyung uncomfortable, he also can’t deny him. Not when he’s like this, all bright eyed and pouty lipped.
Taehyung kisses Yoongi’s forehead one last time, before he slips beneath the covers.
“Okay hyung.”
Yoongi turns on his side, the side that just so happens to be away from Taehyung. The younger boy feels pretty fucking awkward, his back sticking to the duvet, his eyes trained on the ceiling above. Taehyung feels hollow, his thoughts running a mile a minute as the sounds of his own breaths begin to irritate him. It is Yoongi’s voice that breaks him out of his stupor.
“You can put your arms around me, Taehyung.”
“Huh?”
“You can hold me, you know? You can put your arms around me.”
“Uhm… okay. Are you sure that’s okay?”
Yoongi titters. “I wouldn’t have asked you to if it wasn’t okay. Please?”
“Okay hyung.”
Taehyung swivels to his side, his arm falling around the curve of Yoongi’s hip. Upon contact, Yoongi shimmies backwards, his spine lining up with that of Taehyung’s chest.
Taehyung feels warm.
But also, what the fuck?
“Hey.”
“Hey…”
Yoongi looks absolutely radiant, wearing a denim jacket with pretty floral stitchings along the sleeves and collar. His hair is a mop of luscious and fluffy black curls. A hint of makeup graces his features, his cheeks naturally flushed and his eyes shimmering with a soft dewy pink. His lips are of the same shade.
Taehyung wants to kiss him, like, he really fucking does.
But then he remembers that he bailed on Yoongi this morning.
Suddenly, the thought of kissing him seems like a really bad one.
“You… left this morning. I was worried.” Yoongi says, his voice soft and littered with nerves. Taehyung feels bad, for igniting such a feeling within the older boy, as well as abandoning him. Taehyung never means to hurt anyone. Sometimes it just… happens.
Taehyung scratches the back of his nape, sheepish and embarrassed. He doesn’t have a way out of this one, and as an acting major, Taehyung is really fucking good at, you guessed it, acting his way out of shit. There is clearly no valid, respectable reason for him to have left Yoongi alone like that.
“I’m sorry hyung. I didn’t mean to make you worry. I didn’t want to be late to class.” It’s a really bad lie, and usually, Taehyung is really good with those too, but lying to Yoongi is damn near impossible. Those cat-like eyes see right through Taehyung as if he were made of glass.
But if Yoongi notices, he doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he links Taehyung’s hand with his own, his eyes not only imploring, but apologetic. Taehyung’s signature rings are cold against the knobs of his knuckles.
“Persona is having this event tonight. It’s like an open circle, forum kind of thing? I was wondering if you would like to come with me.”
Persona is the university’s LGBTQIA+ organization, led by the one and only Kim Namjoon, future politician and gay as fuck. On the board is Kim Seokjin, vice president, Park Jimin, the secretary, Jung Hoseok, the treasurer, and Jeon Jungkook, marketing and public relations coordinator. Yoongi is the co-president of Persona, alongside Namjoon, and even with such a demanding role as co-president of such a fundamental organization, Yoongi makes room for what is most important in his life.
Taehyung is important to him.
But nothing can take away from the confusion that has etched itself into Taehyung’s very handsome face. The younger boy is completely shocked to the point of speechlessness, and right now, he really doesn’t have anything to say. His ego wasn’t necessarily hurt from the night before, but he does feel like there is some form of a disconnect here. Yoongi pushed him away. Yoongi seemed uncomfortable with him last night.
So then Yoongi doesn’t like him like that, right?
“Uhm, I… Hyung? I thought that—”
“Walk with me? I have to go to the concert hall.”
“—That, oh, yeah okay. I thought that… I don’t know hyung. I feel like I did something wrong last night and, I just, could you tell me what it was? What I did, I mean.”
Yoongi’s lips purse, his brows furrowing in the most adorable way. Taehyung still wants to kiss him, but he better fucking stop that shit right now.
“You didn’t do anything wrong Tae. I… I don’t know. I was tired and… stressed. I guess I just wasn’t in the mood. I never meant to hurt you or, make you feel like I didn’t… want to.”
Taehyung clears his throat, his chest wound tight and his stomach in knots. For what reason, he doesn’t know, but he feels like Yoongi has something more to say. Even so, he won’t push it. He will never push Yoongi. The feelings that Taehyung has for Yoongi will always remain, bound tightly in the midst of his heart, like a bad odor or, an itch he can’t scratch. These are two metaphors that sound very unpleasant, but in all actuality, Taehyung wouldn’t trade them for the world.
Too bad Yoongi doesn’t feel the same way.
“Hyung, you don’t ever have to explain to me why you didn’t want to have sex. I’m not… The last thing I want is for you to be uncomfortable, especially with me, but… you got really upset last night. I guess I’m just confused about, your feelings for me.”
“Don’t be.”
Taehyung hadn't even realized that they had already made it to the concert hall, still hand in hand. Taehyung also didn’t realize that they had been holding hands from one end of campus to the other.
Holy shit.
Yoongi squeezes both of Taehyung’s hands, turning to face him before standing on the tip of his toes, kissing him quickly and chastely. Taehyung’s eyes go wide, his lips tingling as Yoongi giggles, his pretty gums peeking out from behind his lips.
Holy fucking shit.
“I really like you Taehyung, and what happened last night, it won’t happen again. I promise.”
Yoongi kisses Taehyung again, before he can even get a single word out. “I have to go to class but, will I see you tonight?”
Taehyung wonders what he looks like right about now. His face feels hot, and Yoongi is even hotter.
Dammit.
“Y-Yeah. Sure.” Taehyung stammers, Yoongi kissing him one last time before making his way inside.
Unfortunately, Yoongi does not keep his promise.
After the Persona meeting, Yoongi invites Taehyung over for a study session, read: study session. Not a makeout session. Nope. That is not what this is supposed to be.
But it is.
Books and papers and all kinds of pens and pencils are strewn about, scattered all over the floor as Taehyung and Yoongi’s hearts entwine. Taehyung is on top of Yoongi’s body, their hips grinding as the kiss grows in tenacity. Their teeth click as Taehyung licks into Yoongi’s mouth, groaning with fervor and lust as he feels up Yoongi’s sides, his hands sliding past the fabric of Yoongi’s band t-shirt. Epik High. His Yoongi-hyung is really fucking cool.
Taehyung sucks dark, purple bruises into Yoongi’s neck, kissing up the line of his jaw and trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses down the length of his jugular.
Taehyung feels a rough hand push against his chest.
“Taehyung, Taehyung stop. Stop it.”
Taehyung nearly leaps seven feet in the air, throwing himself as far away from Yoongi as he can. His heart is in his throat, and his body undulates with uncontrollable tremors.
“Hyung, I… I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.”
Nothing could have prepared Taehyung for Yoongi’s tears. Yoongi is openly weeping, tears gushing from his gorgeous, feline-like eyes. His cheeks are swollen and pink, as are his lips and his delicate button of a nose.
Taehyung’s heart breaks at the sight.
“Tae, I’m sorry. Stay, stay with me. It’s late and your dorm is all the way across campus.”
Taehyung wishes that he could stay. He wishes that he could give in to his selfish desires, succumbing to Yoongi’s soft hugs and sweet, sweet kisses.
But Taehyung can’t do this. Not this time.
“I’m sorry hyung but I have to go.”
Yoongi whimpers as he reaches out for Taehyung’s hand.
“Tae—”
“I’m sorry.”
And just like that, Taehyung is gone, and Yoongi is alone.
Persona is one of the best student orgs that the university has to offer.
Namjoon and Yoongi pride themselves with an organization that really has only one rule.
Respect.
Persona is always number one for the Best Student Org of the Year award. They’ve won for the past three years in a row, and nothing will stop their winning streak. Not when the board members are the most compassionate, empathetic, loving group of boys one will ever hope to meet .
Speaking of compassion, none of them will leave Yoongi alone. Their co-president has been down in the dumps lately, and he is silent as to why. It worries them to no end, but it seems like nothing will help him. Not lamb skewers, not coffee. Not even wine.
Yoongi loves wine.
The meeting has begun and things are in full swing. Namjoon is about to lead a presentation on why heterophobia is not a thing, Seokjin is taking notes, Jimin and Hoseok are checking the accounts, and Jungkook is snapping pictures of the meeting.
Yoongi is in the corner, sulking.
Everything seems to be going well, that is, until Taehyung walks into the room. More like, runs into the room.
Taehyung is breathless and an absolute mess. His hair is all over the place, as are his clothes. His cheeks are red and his eyes are glassy. He looks as if he’s just run a mile without stopping. His eyes roam around the space frantically, his entire body sinking when he finds exactly who he is looking for.
Yoongi’s heart stops.
“Uhm…” Namjoon interrupts their staring match, “Hi! Have a seat. If you’d like, please share your name, pronouns, and orientation if you feel comfortable.”
Taehyung blinks about a thousand times before finding a seat, his eyes never leaving Yoongi’s.
“Uhm, hi, my name is Kim Taehyung, he, him, his, pansexual.”
Namjoon nods, opening his mouth to speak again before he is abruptly interrupted.
“Min Yoongi. He, him, his. Asexual.”
Everyone’s heads whip in Yoongi’s direction. At every meeting, members of the group are asked to introduce themselves with these characteristics. Yoongi’s greeting was always “Min Yoongi, he, him, his, bi as fuck.”
So this is new, to everyone.
Each person in the room, specifically the ones that know Yoongi the best, are in shock. Their eyes are blown wide with surprise, but most importantly, acceptance. People are smiling, some cheer, some applaud. It doesn’t really matter. Everyone is happy and joyful in their own way.
Yoongi swallows thickly.
“I’ve always known that I was bi, but, I’ve never actually come to terms with the idea that I might be… asexual… I guess, I guess I just always thought that something was wrong with me.”
“Nothing is wrong with you hyung. Nothing.”
Taehyung’s voice doesn’t sound like his own. It sounds gruff, raw. Thick with so much emotion and vigor.
A tear slips from Yoongi’s eyes.
“I think that you two should talk.” Namjoon advises, a dimpled smile upon his face.
Yoongi quickly pulls Taehyung out of the room and around a corner.
“Tae,” Yoongi holds out a hand, stopping the onslaught of words that Taehyung clearly has on the tip of his tongue, “Before you say anything, I just want to say that I’m sorry. I had no idea what was wrong with me before now and, then I talked to Jungkook who, is also asexual and… well he encouraged me to do my own research. I am so, so, so sorry for making you think that it was you. It was never you. I was just… I thought that I was scared at first, of having sex with you. I felt that I was somehow going to ruin it because every time I have had sex with someone, things started to fall apart, all because I would start to push them away afterwards. But then I, well, like I said, I’ve had sex before but, I hated it Taehyung. I absolutely fucking hated it and I just couldn’t force it with you. I like you way too much to ruin this because there is something so fucking wrong with me that I can’t—”
“Hey.” Taehyung cups the swell of Yoongi’s round cheeks, the skin squishing upward beneath his palms. Yoongi’s eyes are foggy with tears, and Taehyung wants nothing more than to kiss them all the way.
“Stop saying that. There is nothing, nothing wrong with you. I may not be well versed with asexuality but, I really like you too hyung. I’m not in this for sex. I want to be with you because I like you. Okay?”
Yoongi’s bottom lip trembles, his eyes falling shut as tears streak down his pretty cheeks.
“I’m sorry.”
Yoongi falls into Taehyung’s chest, sobbing quietly into the fabric of his jacket. Taehyung holds him close, pressing kisses into his soft tuft of curls.
“You could have told me hyung. You mean the world to me… nothing could ever change that.”
Yoongi sniffles, wiping his nose quickly before lifting his head. He grabs the threading of Taehyung’s collar, dragging the younger boy in for a passionate, loving kiss. Their lips meld and mold to fit each other perfectly, Yoongi’s own heart growing in size, even with the salty taste of his tears.
How did he get so lucky?
Their lips click in parting, Taehyung thumbing away Yoongi’s tears.
“So… you like kisses, but not sex, right?”
Yoongi giggles, his gums all bright and gleaming. He pecks Taehyung’s lips quickly.
“I like kissing, but I’m sex-repulsed. Meaning, I don’t want to have sex, nor do I really like it. I don’t feel like it’s necessary in a relationship.”
Taehyung nods in understanding, kissing Yoongi’s forehead, his smile framing the kiss.
“I’m going to do my best to make sure that I never cross any of your boundaries, okay? Whatever you need from me, if I go too far or if I touch you someplace where—”
Yoongi cuts across Taehyung’s sentence with a kiss.
“Tae, I trust you. I’m still figuring this out. I don’t know if this label will change, but—”
“And that’s okay too. Labels don’t have to be permanent. I’ll be with you, every step of the way.”
Yoongi beams, his insecurities rearing their ugly heads as soon as he finds an inkling of happiness within Taehyung’s boxy smile.
“Tae… if you want to have sex, if you feel like you have to, then we can. I don’t want to take that away from you.”
Taehyung scoffs, once again kissing Yoongi’s hair.
“I would never want that from you if I know that it hurts you. I will never force you to do something that you don’t want to do. Okay?”
Yoongi’s bottom lip wobbles as he sniffles.
“Do you promise?”
Taehyung doesn’t answer with words. Instead, he plucks off a blue ring from his pointer finger before taking Yoongi’s hand into his own. It matches the exact same one that sits around his first finger.
He holds Yoongi’s hand as if it were the most delicate thing in the world, sliding the ring onto his fourth finger.
He kisses each and everyone of Yoongi’s knuckles. Yoongi’s giggles are as loud as they are melodious and utterly perfect.
“I promise.”
Yoongi kisses Taehyung as if it were the last thing he were to do.
And together, they figure things out.