Chapter Text
Chapter One
End of the Beginning
“You’re really gonna leave? Tsunade-sama is just about to finish creating your artificial arm out of Hashirama-sama’s cells.”
The arm is meaningless to him, the missing limb a simple reminder of what he did, what he has to atone for. “Right now I need to see the ninja world for myself…” He thinks of the destruction he caused, the people he killed, the parent-less families his actions may have left in his wake.
“I must know what kind of state the world is in.”
He sees the disappoint flit across Sakura’s face, he tries to ignore the guilt beginning to tug at him. He isn’t quite ready to accept Konoha as his home and, he thinks, Konoha isn’t quite ready to accept him either. “I finally feel like I’m able to see all the things I overlooked and missed until now and if I don’t seize this opportunity I might miss my chance to see things with this clarity again. On top of that there’s a few things that have been on my mind…” He thinks of the Uchiha hideout. Of Itachi. Of the family he never properly mourned.
His thoughts are interrupted by Sakura’s timid voice, her tone is so gentle and tentative it reminds him of her childish schoolgirl crush. But she is a woman now and she has seen him at his worse and still she loves him and he has come to respect that, respect those emotions.
“Well what if...what if...I asked to go with you?”
“This is a journey of redemption for me. My sins have nothing to do with you.”
She visibly slumps with disappointment and he hears her mumbled words easily, nothing to do with you. He is surprised by the guilt he feels. He should drop to her knees and beg for forgiveness because she is beautiful and strong and deserves so much better than him. Most of all he feels guilty because he cannot return those feelings, not yet anyway. He has only just embraced his bond with Naruto, he’s not sure his heart has room for someone else as well.
Instead he raises a shaking hand, and places gentle fingers to her forehead.
“I’ll see you when I get back,” he says. “And thank you.”
He sees the blush that stains her cheeks and leaves before she notices him trembling.
*
He is an hour away from Konoha when he senses the all too familiar chakra. Naruto. He’s leaning lazily against a tree, looking like he has all the time in the world. Sasuke is surprised by the rush of relief he feels at the sight of him.
“I didn’t think you’d come,” he says, because it’s true, a small, foolish part of him thought Naruto would stay away. That part of him is terrified that now he’s accepted these emotions, this bond, that Naruto will want to severe it and he will be left alone, alone, alone. But Naruto just looks at him as if he’s the stupidest person on the planet. Sasuke can’t help but look at his friends missing arm and silently agree with Naruto, he was the idiot all along.
“I’m returning this,” Naruto says, face set with determination.
Sasuke wants to feel surprised that Naruto kept this, but he isn’t, it is such a Naruto thing to do and just so right. He accepts the headband willingly, the cool metal sends a spark of icy electricity up his arm, Welcome back it whispers.
“I’ll hold onto this...until things are finally settled between us.”
Naruto rolls his eyes, but smiles as Sasuke places it into his cloak. They stand silently staring at each other for a while and Sasuke is glad, he wants to memorise the lines of Naruto’s face, the curve of his jaw, the way the sun catches his blond hair, the exact shade blue of his eyes. He doesn’t know when he’ll see this face again and he already feels bereft at the potential loss.
Naruto finally laughs, breaking the strange peace between them, and slings his arm around Sasuke’s shoulder.
“So bastard, where are we going first?”
This time Sasuke is surprised, “We?”
“We,” Naruto says firmly.
“Your arm.”
Naruto shrugs, “What about it? Granny can fix us up when we get back.”
“You’ll need it,” Sasuke says, trying to ignore the way his heart is pounding. We, we, we. Us, us, us. In that moment he wants nothing more than to let him come along, he wants to catch up on all that lost time, wants to race him amongst the trees and spar on the sands of Suna. He wants this easy friendship and the feeling of finally being in the light for the very first time.
“What are you saying bastard?! That I can’t survive out there with one arm!? I could do it with no arms!”
Sasuke smirks, an insult on the tip of his lips before he remembers he can’t do this, can’t let Naruto come. These are his sins and his reasons for turning Sakura down are the same for Naruto.
“Naruto, you can’t. These are my…”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your quest for redemption, blah blah blah,” Naruto interrupts, “I don’t care, you can redeem yourself with a friend you know and anyway I told you I’m not going to let you shoulder your burdens alone”
Sasuke’s breath catches in his throat at the sincere look in Naruto’s eyes. He wants to argue, to tell him that’s not how redemption works, it’s suffering and isolation and paying his penance. But Naruto’s shoulders are set and his mouth drawn into a stubborn line and Sasuke has always known that arguing with Naruto is pointless. And maybe, maybe, this is okay. He’d been in the dark for so long, that maybe it was his time to step into the light.
“And anyway, it’s all cleared with Kakashi-sensei, and besides you totally ruined my travels with Jirayia by being a stubborn jerk so you owe me a trip.”
“Tch, fine moron, don’t slow me down.”
“As if bastard! Last one to the next village buys dinner.”
Naruto’s boisterous laughter echoes around the forest as he takes off and Sasuke allows himself a brief moment to enjoy the sound before taking off after him. After all, the idiot probably needs the head start.