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Ushijima was a human. He never understood why people called him a robot. Sure he was great at volleyball and was able to stay on the court for the entire game, but he had dreams and fears just like everyone else. He is just a high schooler who has dealt with relationships, classes, and being team captain. He loved Tendou. He wanted to become a pro volleyball player. He wanted a life that he would see in the movies. He wanted to be happy. He had fears, the biggest of which was never being good enough.
The day of the loss against Karasuno, Ushijima felt all of his fears coming true. He wasn’t sure what to expect, but as soon as the team made it back to the dorms his tears started to flow. He’s never felt so defeated in his life. He crawled into his bed only to be greeted to a knock on the door. Ushijima got up and opened the door revealing Tendou, whose eyes were red and puffy like Ushijima’s.
“Wakawaka…” Tendou started. “Can we just lay in your room for a bit.” With a nod from Ushijima, Tendou went and rested his forehead against Ushijima’s chest as strong arms wrapped around his back.
“Satori. I love you. I’m so sorry I couldn’t do better.” Ushijima picked his boyfriend up and carried him to his bed.
“Wakawaka it wasn’t your fault. We just weren’t as good as the other team. It’s not just on you. We lost together as a team.” Tendou gave Ushjiima a peck on the cheek.
“No.” Ushijima had a solemn look on his face. “It was my fault. I should have been able to stop them. I’m just not good enough.”
“Wakawaka…” Tendou felt his heart shatter. “You’re so much better than anyone else on the team. You’re the most amazing person in the world.”
“No I am not Satori. I’m glad you think I am, but I’m nothing. I’m supposed to be good at volleyball. It’s the only thing people say I’m good at. To lose today just means I’m not good enough. I’m not deserving of being your boyfriend. I’m not deserving of being a starter at Shiratorizawa. I’m not deserving of being known as a top ace in Japan. I just am such a disappointment.” Ushijima couldn’t help but cry as the words fell out of his mouth.
“Wakatoshi.” Tendou gave his boyfriend a stern look. “Don’t talk like that.You are amazing. No matter what happened today, you’re still my Wakawaka. You’re the only person who has ever seen me as a person. Coach sees me as just some weird middle blocker. Other teams just see me as some sort of monster. You’re still the guy who walked up to me our first day of school and asked about me. You asked me about the manga that was in my backpack. You are still that strong, amazing man that I have fallen in love with. You’ve only lost one game in the Miyagi prefecture out of your three years at Shiratorizawa. If a team doesn’t realize how amazing you are then they don’t deserve your talent. And as for not deserving me, I better not ever hear you lie again. You’re everything I deserve and want all rolled into one because you are the perfect person for me. You make me so happy, and I love you so much.” Tendou pressed a kiss to Ushijima’s chest.
“I love you too, Satori. I just can’t help but feel like a disappointment right now. I just don’t feel worthy of anyone, especially you. I just know that I can never make it up to you for how much you’ve been there for me.” Ushijima smiled at his boyfriend.
“You’re my miracle boy, Wakawaka. You are the first person who has been there for me. You need to know it’s okay to lose. That’s what tells you that you can still grow. I know that growing with you side by side is the best thing that I could have asked for.” Tendou planted a kiss on Ushijima’s lips.
“Satori, you’re perfect. You always know what to say.” Ushijima wrapped his arms even tighter around Tendou.
Laying on Ushijima’s bed intertwined, the couple drifted off to sleep. They were ready to grow as people by each other’s side.