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Everyone has these days where they just can’t their best, where they can’t perform to the best of their abilities and that is normal. It happens to everyone, even to the usually hard-working players and Osamu is no exception.
No one in the team says anything about it when he misses more than half of his serves during their mock matches against each other, they didn’t mention it either even when the wing spiker’s receives today sucked and sent the ball flying everywhere. They just gave him a nod of assurance when he apologized every time, nothing to fuss about it.
However, there’s no way that his twin, Atsumu, would let it slide without a word.
“What?” the blonde walked up to his brother who’s peacefully picking up stray balls like he was told, “Finally showin’ just how much of a scrub ‘ya are?” he glared.
Osamu, on the other hand, decided to just ignore his twin, not even giving as much as a glance to his direction as he kept doing his task.
Everyone who noticed the duo is now wearing a tired expression, especially a certain ace who couldn’t suppress a facepalm. “Here we go again, I just wanna go home and be in peace. ‘s that too much to ask?” Aran muttered with a sigh.
“He just can’t let it go, huh?” Akagi sighed right after the ace.
“But Osamu doesn’t seem to be arguin’ back, I don’t think they'll be wrestling this time,” Oomimi said, eyes still on the twins. “Shinsuke will be back by then and hopefully keep ‘em apart.”
Believing the middle blocker’s words, they were about to go back into their own cleaning up when Atsumu’s voice rise once again but this time it’s quite sharper than earlier and he is now glaring hard at his brother’s hunching figure.
“Ha, just keep ignorin’ me! That’s all ‘yer good at anyways, aside from bein’ in my shadows!” the blonde hissed, making his twin stop from picking up a ball and turning to him with a glare of his own. “What? Did I finally hit the spot? What’re ‘ya gon’ do? Hit me with ‘yer lousy serve?” the blonde taunted.
“Shut ‘yer mouth right now or I’ll make damn sure that ‘ya won’t be able to open it again,” Osamu warned quite breathy, making the setter just scoff.
“What can ‘ya do about it?” Atsumu ignored the words and decided to go off once more, hands now planted in the pockets of his track jacket. “Scrubs like ‘ya isn’t needed in this team, ‘yer better off doin’ useless shit you always do that’s called cookin-“
The team immediately ran towards them as Osamu didn’t let his twin finish and landed a solid punch on the blonde’s right cheek that sent him a few good meters away from where he stood. Though it didn’t take Atsumu long to stand back up and readied his fist to return the punch but he halted when he saw the ashen haired twin limping in Aran’s and Ginjima’s arms, deep breathes making his chest rise and fall visibly that made his eyes go wide.
“He-He’s burning!” Ginjima stated with panic in his voice, “Let-Let’s get him to the hospital!”
“What’s happenin’ here?!” Coach Kurosu, along with Kita jogged towards them and immediately noticed the feverish twin. “Osamu? What happened here exactly?!” the man exclaimed before checking his temperature.
Before Atsumu could even comprehend what’s happening, the coach had already rushed out of the gym with the third years behind and Osamu who’s being carried out by Aran and Oomimi. He was snapped out of his thoughts when he felt a hard push on his chest and was faced with Suna glowering at him and Gin who’s worriedly furrowing his brows.
“That was uncalled for, Atsumu.” The middle blocker said, “You didn’t need to belittle your brother’s dream like that in front of us, you could’ve just left him alone.”
Atsumu was taken aback for a moment before he glared right back, “So what? ‘s not like I said anythin’ wrong!” he argued back, “What’s wrong with calling shit a shit? The scrub can go fuck himself-“
“Atsumu that’s enough!” Ginjima cut in, cutting the blonde off. “You should apologize to Osamu, it’s clearly ‘yer fault this time.”
“Yeah,” Suna wasn’t finished yet, “Just because you think you’re so great doesn’t mean you have the right to label your twin inferior.” The middle blocker gritted, trying to regain his usual cool demeanour.
Atsumu snapped at that, “Apologize for my ass!” his fellow second years frowned, “If someone needed to apologize, it’s him! He’s the one who’s ruinin’ the dream we have!”
When it finally clicked to both Ginjima and Suna as to why the blonde’s on edge, they couldn’t help but let it drop. The middle blocker let out a frustrated sigh, “Osamu wasn’t feeling well since earlier, I told him to skip practice and go home but he refused,” Suna stated, giving the blonde a look. “Probably because of you.” He walked away after that, muttering something about how Atsumu’s going to be one asshole of a captain.
Atsumu was left standing there with Ginjima giving him a pat to calm him down, “I think you need to go home for today,” the wing spiker said. “And have another talk with your brother when he’s feelin’ better.”
-
Dengue.
Osamu caught dengue because stupid mosquitoes decided to feast on him. That’s why he is suffering from fever over 100 Fahrenheit and some rashes that he managed to hide from the team. He ended up needing to be admitted in the hospital so that they can look after him too.
Their parents said that Osamu’s not in danger since he was immediately brought to the hospital but he’s still gonna need time to recover and would probably not be able to play volleyball for a while.
The news just further annoyed the blonde twin, the scene still fresh in his mind even though it’s already been 2 days since it occurred. Admittedly, it’s all he could think about ever since, along with the conversation they had about the decision Osamu made a few days after they lost against Karasuno.
It wasn’t his fault, right?
Right?
Ever since they were little, they’ve always wanted to become pros and become the best setter-hitter combo. It was their dream to step a foot in the stadium as the National team’s players and play for Japan. Those were their dreams even before they gained their titles. Even before other schools started to fear the two of them. Hell, those were the only dreams he has and of course he thought, extended to Osamu’s as well.
It wasn’t his fault.
None of it is his fault so why does he need to apologize?
Osamu’s the one who’s hurting him right now.
He’s the one in pain right now.
So why is it that he actually feels bad about calling Osamu’s newfound dream useless now? Why is it that he actually feels guilty even though it was him who got sent flying with a punch? Why does his stupid conscience decided to bug him about it now when the harm had already been done? He can also hear Suna’s stupid voice inside his head, telling him how Osamu refused to skip practice because of him.
He doesn’t understand anything anymore.
What’s so wrong about wanting to make Osamu realize that they still have their dream? They still needed to fulfil their dream.
His thoughts, however, came to a halt when a hand placed itself on his shoulder, making him turn to see their stoic captain standing behind him and is already packed up to go home.
“Kita-san.” He acknowledged with a tired nod.
“It’s late, why are you still here?” the older questioned, eyeing the balls he had served over the net that now scattered on the floor. “The others already went ahead.”
The setter just gave a grunt in response before grabbing another ball from the basket, “I’ll clean and lock up once I finish, I’ll leave in a few don’t worry.” He said, turning his back to the captain.
Kita stared at him for a while with his piercing gaze but he managed to keep his attention to the ball in front of him and sent it to the other side of the court. He hoped that Kita will leave after that but he heard a sigh instead and so he whipped his attention back to the dual-colour haired guy, his brow shot up when Kita started picking up the volleyballs and placing them back in the basket.
He watched for a while, biting his lips with a frown before deciding to help and finally clean up the mess he made.
They were silent like that until he finally picked up the last volleyball and placed it in the basket.
It was Kita who broke the ice first, “Tiring your body will do you no good, Atsumu.” The captain spoke, eyes on him. “If something’s bothering ‘ya, I’m willin’ to lend an ear.”
Atsumu kept silent for a while, contemplating whether to bother Kita with his problem. He cast the guy a look and saw his gaze unwavering, he sighed and decided that if he’s going to tell someone anyway then he’d probably prefer it to be the captain.
“I’m angry at ‘Samu.” He finally said, his hands fisted on his sides as he bits his lips in frustration. “I don’t like this, I don’t like his dream.” He added.
Kita continued to stare at him as they stood in the middle of the court, probably studying him. His gaze was intense but at the same time, comforting. He knows that Kita isn’t someone who judge someone without understanding, he knows that Kita will understand because that’s how he is.
“I don’t think that’s true, Atsumu.”
Atsumu let himself be surprised at the older’s statement, confusion was written all over his features as he muttered a soft, “Huh?”.
“The expression you had, that isn’t a look of anger or dislike.” Kita pointed out, “That’s an expression someone makes when they’re scared.”
A small frown made its way on Atsumu’s face but somehow, he doesn’t feel like Kita is wrong.
Kita is never wrong.
“Scared?” he muttered.
The captain nodded and walked over to the basket of volleyballs, “I think you’re just not ready to have you and Osamu walk down the separate paths yet.” He said, picking up a ball and tossing it a bit. “And that’s normal, considering how you’ve literally spent your whole lives together.”
Atsumu just stared at the captain, letting his words sink in.
“No one’s at fault here, Atsumu,” Kita called out, walking towards him with the ball still in hand. “Neither you nor Osamu is wrong for showing and voicing out your feelings, everyone is entitled to their own opinions and feelings but,” Atsumu how Kita’s gaze narrowed a bit. “Calling your own brother’s dream useless and inferior, that’s bound to hurt anyone’s feelings.”
“…I know.” He whispered the thought of Osamu being angry at him makes him nauseous.
They’d fought a lot before, Osamu got mad at him before but, this is nothing compared to those. He just called Osamu’s dream, his ambition, useless. He called him inferior in the heat of the moment and someone who’s only good at being his shadow. It wouldn’t surprise him if Osamu hates him now, that’d actually make a lot of sense.
“I suggest that you apologize,” Kita handed him the volleyball, “and slowly accept and respect the future he wants for himself, Atsumu.”
-
Since the conversation he had with Kita, Atsumu couldn’t help but repeat everything in his head. He tried to understand everything that the captain had said until they finally made sense to him.
That’s why today, 5th day since Osamu was admitted due to dengue, he finally got the courage to visit him and apologize.
He chose today because he knows that no one from the team is going to visit, he wanted to spend the day alone with his brother and hopefully make it up to him after what he said and done. He would even accept it if Osamu calls him the worst brother ever because he also thinks the same.
Normally, he wouldn’t really apologize. None of them really apologize when they fight, they would just ignore each other for a while and then start talking again as if never happened but, this time is different.
When he reached a room where the plate holds his brother’s name, he took a deep breath before knocking.
A weak, “Come in.” came from the inside and he slowly opens the door to enter, he saw Osamu’s figure clad in a hospital gown sitting on his bed with a plate of grapes in hand. He’s staring at his phone boredly and didn’t even bother looking up to see who visited him.
“Wow, didn’t even bother lookin’ up.” He tried to joke, catching his twin’s attention instantly away from the gadget but only a small frown was on his face.
“Why bother looking up to someone who called me inferior.” The patient snapped back, low-key hitting the blonde right on the spot.
“…That’s a low-blow.” He muttered.
He sat on the visitor’s chair that’s placed beside the bed and placed his bag down on the table beside him.
Osamu already has his phone turned off but he’s now munching on the grapes without any care, not even glancing at his twin, instead, he seemed to be more interested about the wall in front of them. They remained like that for a few minutes, with Atsumu still trying to find his words to start apologizing until he finally decided to speak out.
“ 'Samu-“
“ 'Tsumu-“
They spoke at the same time and blinked in confusion.
“-you speak first.” Atsumu insisted.
Osamu looked like he wanted to protest but just sighed and gave up.
“I’m sorry.” He said.
The blonde just frowned at that.
“I shouldn’t have punched ‘ya.” The twin added. “But that’s the only thing I’m apologizing for.”
“ 'Samu-“
“I know that you wanted us to go pro, that was our dream after all but,”
Osamu looked at him directly in the eyes.
“I found another dream, ‘Tsumu. I grew up and found that my world doesn’t need to only revolve around the sport.”
His eyes remained on him.
“I found another interest and a dream I wanna follow, but that doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten ours.”
Atsumu just listened this time, carefully watching his brother’s expression and finally seeing the thought that Osamu had put into his decision that Atsumu refused to look at when they first spoke about it.
“B’sides, I never said that I’ll leave ‘yer side.” The wing spiker added, “I just won’t be in the court with you but..”
“...I know.” He finally said, “I’m sorry.”
Osamu said nothing.
“Everything that I’ve said, I didn’t mean them. I don’t see you like my shadow, nor someone inferior to me.” The blonde stated hands clamped together on his lap. “’ Yer…the best partner I could’ve ever wished for, ‘yer my other half, ‘Samu. Literally.”
Atsumu was startled to hear chuckles flowing out of his twin’s lips that slowly turned into full blown laughters, suddenly feeling like it’s been a while since he last shared a moment like this with the wing spiker and heard him laugh. He joined and they ended up looking like an idiot for a whole 5 minutes until Osamu finally snapped out of it.
“’ Ya idiot,” Osamu started with a grin, “Seein’ ‘ya apologizin’ is creepy, it doesn’t suit ‘yer asshole-y personality.”
“Oh shut up, as if ‘yer any better!” another round of laughter fell on them at that.
“So, we okay now?” Atsumu asked.
“Nah, give me a dozen of onigiri and I’ll call it quits.”
Osamu was surprised when the blonde grinned, grabbing his bag and pulling out a container.
“I knew ‘ya would ask for food, I came prepared!” he exclaimed, revealing a lousy made onigiris.
“That looks awful.”
“Shut up!” he gave the ashen haired twin a genuine smile, “’Ya better teach me how to make some bomb ass onigiris once 'ya reach ‘yer dream.”
At the end of the day, the most important thing they could ever wish for is each other’s happiness.