Chapter Text
She checked her phone again. 6:58. She sighed and put it back into her purse. Lara Jean scanned the bar just to see if she had missed him. They hadn’t seen each other in years. What if he looked so different she didn’t notice him? What if he didn’t notice her? She immediately shook her head. She looked exactly the same as she did in high school. Hopefully a better sense of fashion, but exactly the same.
Lara Jean couldn’t stop her fidgeting. She was nervous, more nervous than she had thought she would be. When she received his text message, she didn’t believe it was him for a solid 7 minutes. She had deleted his number out of self-care when they broke up after the distance had just been too much for either of them to handle. Once she finally came to the realization it was from him and not a cruel prank from Kitty, she read the message over and over again, dissecting every word and comma.
Hey Covey, It’s Peter. Hope this is still your number. I heard you moved to Atlanta after college. I am going to be there for a business trip. I’d love to meet up if you’re free. -PK
Peter Kavinsky, her high school sweetheart, first love, wanted to see her. Her mind went into a tailspin. He was going to be in her city. He was in business. He wants to meet up. What did that mean? Does meet up mean a hook up? A date? She felt like she was about to pass out from the text. She plopped down on her bed and stared into the blankness of her popcorn ceiling. In a moment of bravery, without thinking, she texted him back.
Hey Peter Kavinsky! This is still my number. It’d be great to see you. How does Tuesday @ Howell’s work? It’s in Midtown. You’d like it. Meet at 7? – LJ
This was the first time she had heard from him since she ran into him at Gabe’s house party the Christmas before they graduated from college. They only had a moment to say hi to each other before Peter got dragged off to play the next round of some drinking game. Lara Jean was never much for parties. Chris had convinced her to go so she could hook up with Trevor one last time before she was moving to Shanghai to teach English at a fancy private school.
She strolled aimlessly around the party, quickly realizing that the party goers were more Peter’s friends than hers. She stopped to take a cute selfie in the full-length mirror in the foyer. She uploaded it to her Instagram story with a cute filter and continued to mozie around the party. Some people would smile and say hi, but she didn’t keep in touch with most people from high school. She decided to make herself another drink. Chris had made her a tequila soda with a splash of orange juice before disappearing off into the distance, most likely to find Trevor. She wanted another.
As she approached the makeshift bar, she heard a familiar voice behind her. “Hey Covey.” He said only loud enough for her to hear.
She turned around with a jug of orange juice in her hand. “Hi.” She smiled back at him. His shy smile was always her favorite. She always found it funny that she, Lara Jena Song Covey, could make anyone nervous, let alone him. “How have you been? How is your mom? How’s Owen?” She tried to sound peppier than she actually was at that moment. She was dreading having to actually talk with him. Their break up during the summer after their freshman year still lingered. It was messy. They tried to blame the fighting on the distance. But they had grown apart. They used to grow next to each other in the same pot, but it soon felt like they weren’t even in the same garden.
“Things are good. I can’t believe we’re about to be done with college. Uh, being here makes me think I’m like 17 and can do anything.” He laughed a bit, obviously a little nervous. “Um, I have like three job interviews when I get back to school, so that’s good but also scary.” He held his Solo cup to Lara Jean as a sign to fill her up on the orange juice she was now pouring into her own glass. “Mom is good, always good. She sold the store a few months back. She’s making these crystal necklaces and selling them on Etsy now. I don’t know too much about it, but I do know that my bedroom has now turned into her crafting studio.” He stopped for a second to take a sip of his drink. “Owen, Owen is good. I kinda don’t believe he is about to be old enough to drive. I just see him as a 11-year-old forever in my brain. Did you know he’s like super smart? He has like perfect grades. Some really fancy prestigious private college has already offered him a full ride to join their robotics team. Where he gets that I will never understand.” Lara Jean smiled at him listening to him ramble. She remembered the feeling that she could do that forever. His voice still felt warm to her. The kind of voice you wanted to wrap you up at night. It was the weighted blanket of voices.
“I heard Margot and Ravi got- “he was cut off when a pretty brunette put her hand on his shoulder. The girl, who Lara Jean had only ever seen on Instagram before, smiled at her. It was a smile where you could see almost every one of her glistening pearly whites.
“There you are.” She kissed his cheek. “Hi, I’m June.” She put out her hand for Lara Jean to shake. Lara Jean stole a glance at Peter before shaking her hand and smiling. “Lara Jean. I love your top by the blue really bring out your eyes.”
“Oh wow. Thank you. ASOS. I love your dress, very Baby from Dirty Dancing. You know like at the end with the lift.” She smiled and looked back and forth between them making sure they understood the reference. It took a second for it to dawn on her. “Oh my gosh, You’re that famous Lara Jean! Peter & Trevor have told me so much about you. Only the nicest things. I felt like I had so much to live up to. She was the one you went to the HAIM concert with, right babe? I was so mad he had seen them before I did.”
Babe. It hit LJ like a train. Peter and her had been broken up for over 2 years. It wasn’t a shocker he would be dating someone new. It was just shocking having her right in front of her. Also, it kind of sucked she was so nice. For some reason, Lara Jean always thought it would have been easier if the new girlfriend was the worst.
“Yeah. We went to the concert in DC the summer before college started.” She smiled, while she felt like hiding away under a rock on the inside. “It was really fun. I’m guessing you like them too.”
“Love. I love the bass face & sisterhood of it all. They are amazing songwriters. Beyond inspiring. I want to be a music journalist and they have been so influential about what I listen to now.” She smiled again. “Wow. I’m so glad you’re nice.” She happily sighed. “I was really nervous about meeting you. Is that weird to say? I know you were such a big part of Peter’s life & I just wanted you to not hate me.” LJ watched as she interwove her hand and Peter’s.
“No. Not at all.” LJ lied. “I’m glad we got to meet too. I haven’t seen Peter in years. It was nice catching up.” She took a huge gulp of her drink. “It was so lovely to meet you June. I hate to run off but I see my best friend stumbling down the stairs and I think I need to bring her outside for a little air.” She smiled at both of them and waved. It was genuine. Although she felt a bit of her heart break again, she was happy Peter seemed happy. She just didn’t want to stare at it all night.
She walked over to Chris and pulled her into a side hug. “Let’s go get you some air, Miss Drunky Pants.” She said helping her make her way to the back porch.
“Were you just talking to one, Peter Grant Kavinsky?” she slightly slurred her words loudly.
“I was.” She said helping her down onto a poof laid out on the grass near a small fire pit. The chilly air hit them and brought a chill down her spine. “And his new girlfriend.”
“Screw that. COVINSKY WILL NEVER DIE!” Chris shouted out into the massive field that backed up to Gabe’s house.
“Will you quiet down? God. She was actually quite nice. Really pretty” she trailed off starting to get caught up in her emotions about him moving on. She leaned in & cuddled against her best friend. “Distract me and tell me everything that happened with Trevor.”
She checked her phone again. 7:05. She bit her lip. Was this boy going to stand her up? Was this thing she had been building up in her head for the last week not really a thing? She pointed her toes in her blush pink platform shoes and opened up Instagram. She leaned up against the wall. She was lost scrolling.
7:15. How long was too long to wait for him? She was getting too anxious so she went over to bar and sat down.
“One elderflower martini, please.” She politely asked the bartender while handing her the AMEX card. She sips on her drink and decided to text him.
Hey Peter. I’m here. Are you on your way? – LJ
She turned her phone over to not keep looking at it. She sipped on her drink and tried to make sense of the basketball game that was playing on the TV. She had gone to a bunch of basketball games when she was going to UNC. It was all anyone did in the spring. She still didn’t understand everything, but she knew far more about sports now than she did in high school. She took the last sip of her drink and turned her phone over. Still nothing. She texted again.
Hello? Peter? Anyone there?
If you’re lost I can give you directions. Let me know. - LJ
The bartender put another drink down in front of her. Lara Jean looked up at the her. “You look like you needed it.” The bartender said sweetly with a thick southern accent.
“Thank you. I think I am being stood up.” She sighed and took another sip. “He was supposed to be here….” She looked at her phone, “35 minutes ago.” She looked at the bartender dressed in fancy black apron over a black and white checkered shirt and jeans with tears welling from her eyes. “I am not supposed to be this upset about it. I don’t even actually think this was a date.”
“Oh honey. You need something stronger than that. Here.” She put down two shot glasses and filled them with tequila. “To All the Boys We Loved Before.” She cheers-ed with LJ before they downed the shots.
“Gross.” LJ stuck out her tongue. “Put it on my tab. Thank you…” she looked for her bartender’s nametag.
“Ruby.” She stuck out her hand and LJ shook it. “So, what is the deal with this dude? First dates can really suck.”
“Not our first date actually. I don’t even know if it’s a date. He was my high school slash college boyfriend. My first love. All of that stuff. He messaged me saying he was in town for business and wanted to meet up and now he’s MIA and I am here drinking with you.” She took another gulp of her drink. Before picking up her phone and checking it again.
I am drinking at the bar. Where are you Kavinsky?
“The last time I even saw him he was with another girl. She was really nice and pretty. She liked music & wore cool girl clothes. She had really pretty eyes, like Bahamas beaches blue eyes. No wonder he liked her.” She finished the martini. “I was so boring back then. We broke up during college cause we couldn’t do the distance. Not even for a good reason. Just because we couldn’t do it. It was so civil. I thought we were being so mature.” LJ began to shed a tear. “Now I just feel dumb for building this whole thing up in my head as maybe a start to something new. But now I guess I’m just drinking with you.” Ruby poured them another shot. They sank them both.
Ruby placed her hand on top of Lara Jean’s. “I don’t know what this man is, but you are stunning. Any dude would be blessed and highly favored to be out with you right now. Your dress? Stunning. I have never seen someone with more glorious shiny hair. You look like you have it going on. Do not cry over this dude who probably peaked in high school.”
LJ wiped the tears welling up in her eyes. “Thank you Ruby.” She was pretty tipsy at this point but felt a swell of energy coming back. She sat up straight and looked at her phone again. Nothing. She decided to give him one last shot.
Been here for almost an hour. I’m leaving if you’re not here in 10. – Lara Jean
Her full name would drive the point home. She ordered another elderflower martini. She would finish this and if he wasn’t groveling at her feet, she was out. For good.
She took her time with the drink. Nursing it for everything she had before she felt depressed sitting there alone. Ruby looked over at her, now making drinks for a group of 40 something year old ladies who had declared to the entire establishment that it was “Mom’s Night”.
“Hitting the road?” Ruby asked hoping she would change her mind and start flirting with any of the eligible dudes also posted up at the bar.
Lara Jean counted backwards from 10, it was a trick her therapist taught her when she felt like she was about to have a breakdown. “No use of waiting on a dream that won’t happen.” She ordered her Uber & threw all the cash she had on the bar.
The drive back to her apartment was 5 minutes. She could have easily walked if she wasn’t so tipsy. She was less of a lightweight than she was in high school, but shots got her every time.
She threw her purse down on the entry table and belly flopped onto the couch. She heard a bing from her pocket and pulled out her phone.
It was a notification that her birth control prescription was ready at the pharmacy.
Thanks for standing me up jerk. Why did you get me so excited to let me down? It’s not a nice thing to do. It was really mean. Even when we would fight, you were never mean.