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Harry tipped her wine glass back, letting the last drops fall onto her outstretched tongue and then smacking her lips at the taste. She’d splurged a little at the wine shop that she passed on the way home from work, feeling like she deserved the treat after a long week of work at the bakery. It didn’t hurt that the new woman who was working in the shop had sparkly blue eyes and a bit of rasp to her voice; she probably could’ve sold Harry on any bottle in the store.
The one she’d picked out was perfect though, right in line with Harry’s tastes and what she’d wanted for the night-- a crisp white with a little sweetness and balanced minerality. Harry had made notes on it in her pocket-sized wine notebook while she’d had her first glass, and really Blue Eyes had nailed every request Harry had and then some. The bottle had even been at the low end of her ‘splurge’ budget.
That might’ve been part of why she had no trouble polishing it off all by herself, though she knew that she had errands to run the next day and would likely regret having more than her usual glass or two. Still, it wasn’t all bad. Because between starting her third and fourth glasses, she’d finally mustered up the courage to write a Lex ad for herself.
She’d tried Tinder and a few other apps before the pandemic hit, but usually found them a bit too surface for her tastes. Everything was based on looks first, and while she did get a decent number of matches the limited number that actually resulted in dates had been major flops. She’d been meaning to try Lex when worry about the coronavirus spread, and after that she’d put it on hold, not wanting to risk infection by going on first dates with multiple people. The thought of that still made her shudder, actually. But her best friend had recently met someone over Lex and was raving about it, encouraging Harry to get on.
“Sarah and I chatted on the app for a couple of weeks before we even exchanged numbers, and then we switched to video calls. And we only just had our first in person distanced date. It’s great, H. Way less pressure to hook up,” Mitch had said during their last Zoom call. “Just put up an ad or go answer one that looks cool.”
With the taste of the wine still tingling on her tongue, Harry chose a username-- rainbowparadise, the name of the first treat she’d ever invented at the bakery --and entered the Lex app ready to find love. She adjusted the filters so that she was searching locally and only looking at ads from people in an age range she felt comfortable with, and then started scrolling.
Right away she could see what Mitch meant. Some of the ads were simply random musings from people-- questions about the universe or thoughts on politics --and most of the ones that were looking for dates mentioned not wanting to meet up right away due to the virus. She found a couple that seemed kind of interesting and marked them so she could respond after she finished scrolling, stopping after she got a couple of weeks back in the log.
Feeling as though she had a sense of what the ads were like, Harry decided to write her own before responding to anyone else. It would give anyone she responded to a chance to see what Harry was looking for without her having to say it in an opening message (which often felt weird to her) and might end up giving her a couple of responses to work with as well. She went to take another sip of wine, frowning when she remembered she’d finished it all, and then set to typing.
After a few minutes she’d written something she was pretty happy with:
WINE, WOMEN, AND SONG (AND THEN SOME)
29 year old white dyke (she/her) loves a good glass of wine, an old Meg Ryan romcom, and occasionally playing guitar. Looking to share domesticity in the future (I love to bake and I’m proud of it!!) but want to start slow and move carefully due to the pandemic. Can we fall in love without seeing each other? I’m willing to try if you are :)
She read it over just once to check for any egregious spelling errors, and when she found none she immediately hit post, not wanting to second guess herself. Stifling a yawn, she started responding to the first of the ads she’d saved, trying to find the balance between being friendly and flirty and not overly excited with a complete stranger. Somewhere around her second sentence she decided to rest her eyes for a moment.
When she awoke, phone battery dead, to the sound of morning birds outside her window and the sky starting to brighten with sunrise. Her head hurt and her back was quite unhappy with her for having slept on the couch, so she chugged some water and took herself to bed, happy to sleep for a few more hours and hoping to wake up actually refreshed. She turned her phone back on, but didn’t spare a thought for the Lex ad she’d written nor the ones she’d meant to respond to.
It’s possible she would’ve forgotten about it entirely-- or maybe just avoided it --if not for the fact that she hadn’t turned off notifications from the app. When she woke up properly later that morning, she had three responses to her ad. Lying in bed with her eyes still bleary, she tapped on the first one to see what the person had to say for themselves.
Hello--
Never quite know what to say when I respond to a message, but I couldn’t stop thinking about yours, so I’m giving it a go. You mentioned you like wine-- I do too, though I only drink beer when I go out anywhere. Might say I have champagne tastes on a cava budget ;) I play the guitar as well, and like to sing. Had a band in my hometown a few years back but we fell apart at some point and I stopped playing so much. Have you ever been part of a band? Or do you just prefer messing around on your own?
Afraid I’ve never seen a Meg Ryan movie that I can recall. But that could be a fun thing to do together at a distance, eh?
I’ll be honest-- I’ve mostly lurked on here because a friend told me it’d be good for me after I moved to the city in January. But I liked that you said you wanted domesticity, and I’ve always loved the idea of falling in love without ever seeing someone’s face. Just getting to know who they are and appreciating how we fit together.
Is that too sappy? Hope not.
Also hope to hear from you soon
--Tommo
Harry smiled up at her phone, a giggle bubbling out of her as she thought about how to respond. She liked that Tommo had been pretty direct and didn’t seem in a rush to meet, but Harry at least wanted to go into messaging her as prepared as possible. Her profile didn’t have much more information about her than what Harry already knew. She was 31, so a couple years older than Harry, and used she/her pronouns. She didn’t have a linked Instagram account and-- as she’d said --she’d never posted any ads.
Still, Harry was eager to respond.
Hiii--
Thanks for responding to my ad. Oddly enough, a friend encouraged me to join a while ago too and I just got the courage with a little help from wine last night. I knew if I didn’t post right away I might never do it, so here I am.
To answer your question, I’ve never been in an actual band before, but I’ve written songs with my best friend Mitch. She comes up with amazing melodies and I write lyrics, and then we get together and finish it. She keeps threatening to buy some time in a recording studio so we can get some of our songs down. I think I’d rather bake than sing, though...I can sing while I bake, but not the other way around! And I couldn’t see myself giving up baking.
That’s what I do daily. Bake, I mean. We closed for a couple of weeks with the pandemic and to join in at the height of the protests for black lives so that we could get out on the streets. It’s nice to work at a place that actually stands up for the things I believe in and supports us getting out there. Have you worked through the pandemic? Joined up with any marches?
How weird would it be if it turned out we’d marched right next to one another or something?
-H
Harry didn’t expect a message back immediately, so she set her phone aside to get up and stretch, grateful that her head wasn’t hurting as badly as she expected it to be after polishing off a bottle of wine. She wasn’t looking forward to her errands, but she’d already decided she was going to reward herself by getting a bag of beans from her favorite local coffee roaster on the way back from the hardware store instead of grabbing whatever was cheapest at the store later. And because the wine she’d gotten last night had been less expensive than she’d planned for, she was kind of considering stopping in again to see if Blue Eyes was there to recommend another bottle.
After a shower, Harry got dressed and grabbed her phone so she could head to the kitchen for breakfast. She was pleasantly surprised to see another message from Tommo waiting for her, and tapped it open, eager to read it, before remembering what had happened the last time she tried to text while blending her morning smoothie. She was still finding the occasional greenish brown spot around the kitchen two months later.
Smoothie in hand and tea brewed, Harry finally sat down at the kitchen table to read Tommo’s message.
Hey H--
I’m writing back quickly because I have to go in to work much earlier than usual. Call outs, you know? Awful. That’s a double for me on top of working last night, but I’ve not had this job very long so I really am at the bottom of the heap.
My previous job wasn’t taking the pandemic seriously at all-- the boss thought it was a hoax (!!!!) and told us not to wear masks. I’ve never quit a place on the spot before, but I had to do it then. I don’t want to catch it, of course, but it’s the risk to everyone else that gets me. Anyway, I was unemployed for a while and marching as often as I could. Still going out to the protests whenever I can, but the hours at my new job make it harder.
It’s definitely better than the previous one, and it’s a place I’ve wanted to work since moving to my neighborhood, so that’s cool. But I do wish I were marching more. Maybe we did march next to each other? No way of knowing I guess-- don’t know about you but I was wearing nondescript black clothes, a cap, and a face mask. Not that my regular clothes look so different, I guess.
How long have you been in the city? Do you have a lot of friends here?
Kind of curious to ask this of other people right now too: what are you doing when you’re not working right now? Do most days feel like a repeat of one another, or is that just me?
-Tommo
Her mind caught up in how she’d respond, Harry took a gulp of her smoothie, swallowing down too much and giving herself brain freeze. She scrunched her nose, willing the pain away, and pushed her smoothie aside to type out her answer. Before she could write anything another message popped up from Tommo.
Almost forgot! We don’t keep our phones on us at work so I won’t be able to respond for a while. Don’t think I’m ignoring you ;)
-Tommo
Knowing they wouldn’t be able to have a conversation made Harry’s response feel a little less urgent, but she decided to respond anyway. If she didn’t, she knew she’d end up overthinking what to say and wanting to stop between errands to make notes to herself. Definitely not ideal even at the best of times, and even less so now. She took a sip of tea and opened up her reply.
Tommo--
I’ve got the day off today for the first time in what feels like forever, and I’ve got a load of errands to do, so don’t worry about being out of touch. Maybe I shouldn’t admit this, but I try not to walk and text too often because it’s resulted in a few collisions and falls over the years. I’ve had my current phone for SIX WHOLE MONTHS and the screen is still intact, and I’m kind of hoping to make it to a year?
Fingers crossed.
Anyway I’m writing you back from the safety of my kitchen table so that my phone has the best possible chance for survival when I head out into the world. I guess I’m doing it for myself, too? It’s awkward enough to stumble into a stranger when everyone is well, but add in the need to socially distance and suddenly ending up inches away from another person is mortifying in every way! Hasn’t happened yet, but I think about it every time I trip over my own feet. And yes that happens kind of a lot :/
Are you clumsy? Coordinated? Sporty? Posh? Baby?
If you didn’t laugh at that Spice Girls joke you’re legally required to tell me, you know. Unclear what the repercussions are but I do know it’s a serious matter!
And I swear that didn’t come totally out of left field! Part of what I’ve been doing is rewatching things I haven’t seen in ages and kind of reliving my childhood? I think the Spice Girls were a part of my first gay awakening. I went through a phase where I tried to dress like Sporty Spice (6 years old and asking for a pair of loose track pants and a sports bra...my mom said no) and brought my copy of Spice World to every sleepover I went to for two whole years.
I have rewatched it twice in the last few months. And I plan on watching it again.
(Are you still reading? Or have you closed out of this message and blocked me? Hopefully it’s the former-- I’ll proceed like it is)
In addition to Spice Girls I got a Disney Plus subscription so I could watch all my favorite Disney movies and...it was WORTH IT. Disney: love or hate? I get why some people hate them but when I put on The Little Mermaid I feel like I did when I was a kid, singing the songs while I took a bath and pretending I was going to grow a tail. Did you have a favorite growing up? Now?
I’ve been doing most of my quarantine activities alone because I don’t have a roommate, but I have made a few friends since I moved here. I knew Mitch from college-- she was my roommate in our first year and I just never let her go :) And then I’ve got friends from the bakery, and of course a few exes who have become friends. Do you have those? It’s something I love about being queer-- it’s not weird to keep the people you’ve gotten close to.
Okay, I’ve got a million errands to run, and you’re probably at work by now. I hope your double isn’t too stressful! Tell me about your day, your friends, and at least one embarrassing childhood story so I don’t feel so incredibly exposed, maybe?
xo H
Harry didn’t let herself re-read her message. She knew it was goofy and silly and embarrassing, but she figured that she was all of those things and she’d be better off not hiding it from anyone new she was meeting, especially if they were trying to really get to know one another without being face to face. Thinking about her most recent relationships-- Kelly the trainer, who she met after Thanksgiving and split with before Christmas, and Maren the butch bar back who happily rebounded with her on New Year’s and dumped her just before the quarantine began --she’d shoved most of her quirks aside, burying them as best she could until they popped out like a possessed jack-in-the-box.
Maybe Tommo would be the same. She might see that Harry was a ridiculous pun loving baker who sometimes tripped over her own feet and usually laughed at her own jokes and run for the hills. But at least she’d go ahead and do it now, before Harry even knew what she looked like.
Realizing that thinking about it would only make her anxious and upset, Harry shoved her phone into her bag and got her things together for her errands. She made herself a list on a post-it, putting little boxes in front of each item so she could tick them off one by one, and when she was sure she hadn’t forgotten anything she set off.
It was mid-afternoon by the time she’d gotten to her last errand-- the wine store --and if the idea of a cold glass of rosé hadn’t sounded like actual heaven on earth, Harry might’ve skipped it. The afternoon had turned hotter than she’d expected, and the first hardware store she visited was closed for the day, so she’d had to walk farther than she’d expected. But she’d gotten everything, checking off each little box on her list, and she was determined to finish this one.
“Welcome to Vine Wines,” a voice called out from behind one of the shelves as the bell above the door announced Harry’s entrance. “I’ll be right with you.” The shop was mostly empty, but the person working sounded like they’d been through the wringer already. Hopefully it wasn’t Blue Eyes-- Harry couldn’t wish an exhausting day on her even if it meant getting to enjoy half of her face and get her fabulous wine recs.
“No hurry,” Harry said, pulling her bottle of hand sanitizer from her pocket and quickly cleaning her hands. She strolled over to the rosé section, trying to look at the bottles without touching them too much. When she heard the worker approaching, she straightened.
“Thanks for waiting, I was just-- oh, hello! How was the white?” Blue Eyes looked back at Harry, her smile obvious even behind her mask.
“Hi! You remembered!” Harry could feel herself blushing and was momentarily grateful to have a mask hiding part of her face. “It was actually so good that I might’ve finished the entire bottle by myself.” Blue Eyes raised her eyebrows, laughing softly.
“That’s pretty high praise. And you want rosé tonight?” Harry nodded. “Let me guess: something light, with a hint of ripe strawberry but not too sweet. Sound about right?”
Harry moaned quietly, eyes falling shut at just how perfect that sounded. “Heavenly. Oh! But I’m still on a budget.”
“I haven’t forgotten, love.” Blue Eyes pointed at a bottle that was on a lower shelf. The label was adorned with a mermaid wrapped up in strawberry vines, and even looking at it made Harry smile. “That one’s under ten, and it’s not too high alcohol so even if you drink the whole thing you’ll still be alright.”
“Oh, you take such good care of me,” Harry teased. She grabbed two bottles, holding one in each hand as she looked back at Blue Eyes. “I should really know your name if you’re always going to be the one selling me the perfect wine.”
“It’s Louis. But you should ask for Tommo-- the owner has a cat named Louie and he always assumes that’s who people are talking about.” Harry laughed at the joke, and it took a moment for her to actually grasp what Louis-- Tommo --had said.
“You’re Tommo?”
“Yeah, it’s a nickname.” Louis shrugged, quirking an eyebrow at Harry.
“I, um, I’m H?” She hadn’t meant it like a question, but it came out like that anyway. Math outside of the kitchen had never been her strong suit, so Harry wasn’t sure of the odds that she would randomly meet-- and have a crush on --someone who responded to her ad on a fairly limited LGBTQ+ dating app. It didn’t feel likely. And yet.
“H? As in Lex app H?” Louis blinked back at her rapidly. “Sorry I’m just-- that’s so weird, right?” Harry nodded, but before she could respond Louis continued. “And then not only are you someone I’ve helped, but you’re the girl I was telling my friend about last night when he told me to go back on Lex and see if I could find someone to actually crush on instead of a customer.”
“You were telling your friend about me?” Harry gestured to herself, the wine bottle she was holding hitting her tummy a little harder than she’d expected. “Ow. Like, actually me?”
Louis laughed. “Yeah, you. ‘Pretty Green Eyes,’ I was calling you.”
“H is short for Harry, but I like both. Either, I mean.” Harry sighed, shaking her head at herself. Knowing that Tommo and Blue Eyes were the same person had her in a tizzy. “I was calling you Blue Eyes, actually. Guess that’s really what you notice about a person now, huh?”
“That and, uh, how they are? Who they are? Feels like I get a better sense of a person lately. And I liked what I got from you.”
“Yeah?” Harry smiled, hoping Louis could feel that it was a flirtatious one and not a typical friendly one. “I liked you too.”
The bell above the door rang, pulling both of them out of their private moment. They’d managed to keep their distance, but even so Harry took a step back out of habit, feeling like they’d been caught out by the older couple that walked inside arm in arm.
“Do you need to go? I can ring you up and we can talk on the app, or you could stay and--”
Harry thought about the lettuces she’d picked up at the market that were already looking a bit wilted. “I have some things I need to get home. But tonight, maybe?”
“Yeah, I’ll message you when I’m off. Double, y’know?”
“I remember.” Harry gestured toward the register, nearly knocking a bottle off the shelf with the one in her hand. “Ah! Sorry, sorry. I’ll be more careful.”
“No harm, love.” Louis followed Harry up to the register, checking in with the other customers on the way. They didn’t appear to be in a hurry. “So, tonight then,” Louis said after Harry had paid and put her wine with her other things.
“Tonight, yeah.” Harry could barely contain herself on her walk back home. She was giddy and laughing, biting her lip to keep from seeming absolutely unhinged. It was just talking, and not even in person. But it felt big and bright and beautiful, and Harry decided she was going to let herself enjoy it.
When Louis messaged her later that evening, Harry’s excitement still hadn’t dwindled. They stayed on the app for the night, talking back and forth until after midnight, and then traded numbers so they could continue via text the next day. It was slower than Harry was used to, each new way of communicating adding its own layer to their relationship.
It took them just over a week to move over to phone calls, and a few days more after that before they shifted to video calls. Every time, Louis met Harry’s quirks with her own. She’d never seen Spice World, but did have all of Britney’s lines in Crossroads memorized, and where Harry had fancied herself a mermaid, Louis had wanted to be Simba (along with all the other characters in The Lion King).
They shared stories of childhood and best friends and exes, and they talked about all the things they wanted for their futures, pleasantly surprised at just how much lined up between the two of them. On their first in-person date just over three weeks from exchanging their first messages, they snuck up to the roof of Louis’ apartment building and sat six feet apart talking and laughing behind masks. They pressed their bare feet together and pretended it was like holding hands, and Harry almost said ‘I love you’ but held back at the last second. Fortunately, Louis said it instead.
Each step they took together felt intentional and measured, careful and honest. In any other relationship, Harry would’ve expected a first kiss right away. Instead it took nearly seven weeks and quite a bit of planning, and within moments of it ending Harry was certain it had been more than worth the wait. Of course it became much more than a kiss very soon afterward, but the two of them had expected that.
Six months into dating, their story was part of the Lex instagram as part of the ‘we met on lex’ hashtag. It included Harry’s original ad, of course, and she burst out laughing when she read the last line for the first time since she’d posted it what felt like a lifetime ago.
“Can we fall in love without seeing each other?” Harry read aloud. “I’m willing to try if you are.”
“We were both willing to try, weren’t we?” Louis held a bottle of wine, raising her eyebrows as she pulled the cork out with a pop. “I think we succeeded.”
“But we’d already seen each other! Do you really think we followed the letter of the law?”
Louis hummed, considering Harry’s question as she poured two glasses of wine. “We followed the spirit, at least. I’d already fallen for you after your second message, and that was before we realized we’d met. I think even if we hadn’t figured it all out that day in the shop I would’ve felt the same. Don’t you?”
Harry took the glass that Louis offered, taking a sip of the wine she’d picked out, and tried to imagine a world where she wouldn’t have fallen completely in love with Louis, over text or in person or any other way. It simply didn’t exist. “Okay, you’re right. We’re not completely deceiving everyone who’s looking for love on Lex. But I still think we should add some kind of a disclaimer or something.”
“And why’s that?” Louis sipped her wine, looking at Harry expectantly.
Harry leaned closer to Louis before answering, poised to kiss her. “No way is anyone else on Lex going to luck into finding someone like you. Pretty sure I won the pandemic era love lottery.”
Louis rolled her eyes as she leaned in to meet Harry for a kiss.