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I sit there at the dining table staring over at Draco as he blankly watches his food as he moves it with his fork. A small smile grows on his face making me sigh. "Draco, do you love me?" I ask and he whips his head up looking at me strangely as if I said something ridiculous. As if asking if he loved me was something unheard of?
"What are you saying dear, of course I do we are getting married tomorrow," He says matter of factually as if that was truly enough. I give him a sad smile.
"But just before, when you were staring off were you thinking about me. With that loving smile of yours, was it me you were thinking of?" I ask to which he looks like he's going to protest and say that it was but his words catch in his throat. "See."
Draco shakes his head as if to clear his thoughts before speaking. "Of course it was you I was thinking about, Tori." He looks so scared and worried that I'll know who it is he is thinking about, but I already do. I've known since Hogwarts who has always been on his mind. I still love him but I want him to be happy.
I stand up and walk to the other side of the table so that I am able to sit next to him and talk quieter as to not get the house elves’ attention. "Draco, I know you are to have an heir and that I love you, but do you really want my love. Do you want to spend your life with me?"
Draco is a bit frozen but gives me a bittersweet smile and I know how he feels but I also know he isn't going to do anything about it.
"Before tomorrow comes I want you to think hard about what you want," I sigh. "I'll love you either way."
Before he can respond one of the house elves comes in saying, "Master Draco, Mr. Harry Potter is here."
Draco's whole exterior brightens and I give him a bittersweet smile which he returns. He stands up kissing my forehead mumbling, "I'll see you at the alter."
I prepare myself because as of this moment I am certain Draco will marry me and we shall have a child. But I fear he may live his life in utter regret and despair.
___
I walk down the aisle between the the chapel's benches towards my soon to be husband. He gives me that same bittersweet smile as I step in front of him and we grab hands.
"Do you, Draco Malfoy, take this here Astoria Greengrass as your wife?" The priest asks but before he answers, Draco glances out into the audience and I know exactly where he's looking. At the little family among the others.
A wife, a new baby boy, and the man who Draco has been in love with since the beginning. The man who has been apart of Draco's life since he was eleven years old and always was able to get a rise out of him. Who he used to call his enemy, then his friend, and, though he never said it out loud I've known all along, the one he truly loves. Harry Potter.
"I do," Draco says turning back to look at me his smile slipping away and sorrow hidden deep in his silver eyes.
"You may now kiss your bride," The priest says and Draco kisses me, it's nothing full of passion or love but it's enough. I know he will try to love me and I'm sure one day he may like me as his wife but I know it will never reach the extent to call it love.
__
After we had our first son, Scorpius, Draco began to relax more around me. He may say that he loves me but it always comes with that same bittersweet smile he's had since so long ago. He loves our son through and through and that's what I'm grateful for. He doesn't let the thought of not being with Harry distract him from what he is able to have.
And though I know Harry and him still do talk and spend time together I trust them. I know that they are both honorable and loyal enough men to not cheat on me or Ginny.
I sometimes try to hint at the feelings Draco has for Harry with Ginny to see if Harry is the same. And though Ginny doesn't seem to realize it yet, she has described many of the same feelings from Harry.
About the time of Scorpius's ninth birthday was when I became sick. My family has had a blood curse that's been passed down from generation to generation, and I'm just one of the unlucky ones who have gotten it.
__
As my time comes closer to an end I become more weak and the doctors demand bed rest, now I can't even move. I know my son will have to grow up without a mother but I can't help but hope Draco can finally be happy. That he can somehow find a way to be with the man he loves.
"It's soon love," I smile up at Draco weakly as I try to hold onto his hand with my own fragile one.
"I know," Draco responds looking down at me with sorrow in his eyes. I smile at him softly happy his smile in return isn't so bittersweet anymore.
"I want you to promise me something," I say quietly making him confused.
"Of course, anything," Draco says acting serious as if what I'm going to ask him is very important. I mean it is if he wants to be happy, but it's not like it pertains to Scorpius or anything like that.
"Be happy," I say smiling at him with my own bittersweet look as he just stares at me. "You've waited long enough, I want you to be with the one you love. You have your family heir now it's time to be with who you want to be with."
Draco stays quiet just looking at her before glancing away and biting his lip. As if he doesn't want to talk about the man he loves with his own dying wife. "I can't," He whispers.
"Of course you can I'm sure he feels the same," I push not wanting him to give up and spent the rest of his life alone and sad.
"I can't Tori, he's married and I'm losing you. I can't do anything with that," He says still looking away from me biting his lip as a tear slips from his eye.
"Then promise me that when the opportunity presents itself you won't miss it. You'll sweep that man off his feet and do it so easily he won't even see it coming," I say chuckling but it soon becomes a heavy coughing fit.
"Momma," Scorpius yells walking in with a big smile on his face as he comes to talk. He knows what's happening to me but he still has hope that I'll get better and I can't quite break it to him that I'm not going to.
____
I look to my right to see my husband fast asleep facing me but not quite touching, as he has always slept. Then I look down on my left where Scorpius is cuddling my side. At least I have my boys in my last moments.
I close my eyes slowly and fall into the big black abyss. What a bittersweet life I have lived.