Work Text:
Shoyue, the engraving on this sword says, Zichen. "You killed him and numerous other innocent people. Don't you get it Xiao Xingchen? You are not a hero." Electricity climbed up his whole body. I killed Zichen, the man I willingly gave my eyes to, the man I swore not to meet again, the man I...
Blood gushed from his neck. This life doesn't have meaning. I'm sorry Master. I'm sorry... Zichen. Meeting you is the best thing that happened to me. I don't regret going down that mountain.
Xiao Xingchen is not sure how many days have passed or how many years has it been.
This Xue Yang has the audacity to gather my spiritual cognition so now I am trapped in this spirit capturing pouch. I just want to dissipate. If I can choose, I hope at least Zichen will open this pouch and let me go or maybe I can just stay with him rather than with this guy who I actually don't know why he keeps me. I know he doesn't need me for anything good, he even made Zichen his zombie. I can feel whenever he is near, it's like my whole spirit feels happy but pain also comes with it. I am not sure how long I have been here; the pouch opened for a bit earlier yet it closed in just a snap. I can hear someone, he is being forced by Xue Yang to repair my soul. I don't want that. I just want to be free and run through the snow.
Today is quite weird and very shaky. It's like they are playing with my soul pouch like a ball. I wonder why?
"Taoist Song, what will you do?" He felt it, the one holding the pouch. Zichen, finally. I can be with you even just with the last crumbs of my spiritual cognition.
---
Xingchen, I finally found you. My heart aches. I can't see your smile anymore nor listen to the jokes I actually don't understand because you kept on laughing while you told it to me. You found me before and we built our dream together. Our sect will be built, don't worry. This will be my parting gift for you. As much as he wanted to say these words, he can’t; not just because his tongue was cut off but because his heart is full of regrets. He holds on to the pouch, the only connection he has to the person he treasures the most. Zichen is in the middle of one of his afternoon breaks. He is a zombie now but he is used to eating in the afternoon because his cultivation partner actually liked eating snacks or more of talking to the store owners in the market and getting information or silly jokes. Xingchen made it all easy because of his very calm and endearing demeanor toward strangers. Night Hunting was a breeze for the two of them. This was also the reason why he had a hard time finding him before. Song Lan hates talking to people and he hates himself for that. If only he acted fast. If only he changed himself so he could find XingChen right away. The two of them wouldn't be in this situation. It hurts. Moments like these breaks his heart some more, if there is a way to break it some more that is. He pleases himself with offering some bread to the pouch, so he doesn't feel like he is eating alone. He will just pretend that they are just together like normal.
---
"Ï can always smell bread at this time of the day. Maybe Zichen is taking a break." He smiles, he remembers forcing his partner to buy snacks for them before specifically this bread because he likes it so much. This was also his way for Zichen to get used to people. He needs to be good with people especially when we open our sect, was his initial thought when he asked him for this errand.
---
Years have passed and Xingchen can feel his spiritual cognition sticking together and becoming better.
Unknown to him, Zichen already fulfilled their dream. He now manages a small sect at the edge of the country where no gentry family usually reaches. They deal with the problems even from the neighboring country. It was not rich but the people loved them so they got donations for food and other supplies. The whole estate is simple just like how Xingchen would like it. There is a small altar right after the entrance gate and an epitaph for Xingchen and even Aqing is set. The disciples pray here every time they go out for a night hunt and also when they return. They clad in silver robes the exact shade of Xingchen’s eyes and everyone wears a tassel with the moon and snow carved bead.
One night, Zichen went back to his room and sat down on his bed. He is contemplating. Is this really the time? Earlier that day he passed on the leadership to his most trusted disciple and so now he is free. He observed Xingchen's soul in the past months and he thinks it is ready. It is ready to be released and be reborn again. He pulled out the medicine he kept with him for a long time. "When you drink this, you have at least 5 minutes. Even for a zombie, this is still effective." With Shoyue and Shuanghua on his lap, he opened the crumpled paper and poured everything that was inside it into his mouth. At least we can pass to the other side together. With his shaky hands, he opened the spirit pouch.